It is, imagine not being able to smile fully, least people notice your mouth is full of sharp fangs instead of teeth. Imagine filing down your horns religiously, least they grow long enough to be seen. He has to trim his claws, he can't eat raw meat or drink the blood of his prey, despite it being part of his diet. He has to be careful of touch, of saying the wrong thing, of acting in a way that may make people think he's a monster, a beast trying to imitate them. Imagine a serious slip-up means your face plastered in every guild hall as a bounty for subjugation, a literal extermination order, like you are a pest.
Imagine fearing every day you fear your friends may turn on you or abandon you because of what your kind did and he can't really blame them. He knows it is true, he's lived through it, HE has done the same. He's maimed and killed more people than he can remember, he's bathed in the blood of innocents trying to protect themselves, of brave soldiers trying to defend their land, of helpless travelers and lost adventurers. Himmel knows he's not innocent, he tries to be good now, but compared to his whole life, what is some few odd decades? Even now, he still doubts if he truly is able of change or he's just fooling himself.
Yup, he is smitten! Like in the tall sexy wife and the scruffy goober of a husband.
Now, her releasing her mana, I imagine it is more like this-
There's this super attractive top model you liked, she's perfect in your eyes and you like everything about her. Now, ever since you knew her, she's always been dressed in a large wool coat, mittens and all, like she lives in antarctica, you only see bits of skin and her face, yet, she's still like an idol. Now, imagine suddenly, out of nowhere, she does a whole photoshoot in bikini. That's how it was for Himmel. Frieren always put a lid on her mana but now she 'stripped down' and DAMN! That's even hotter!
Himmel: I’m terrified of being rejected but damn would them rejecting me be justified. I’m a demon and I have absolutely done all the horrible things. Well almost. No people eating but that was entirely down to a lack of opportunity. I absolutely would have. I haven’t even been ‘reformed’ for that long. And im still a demon—I label children as ‘forbidden snacks’. I want them to accept me because I love them and them turning on me would break my heart but yeah they absolutely should turn on me if my cover is blown. They’d be idiots not too. And I don’t want my beloved party members to be idiots who fall for demonic manipulation. That’s how you get killed! I don’t want my party to get killed! Frankly the village that took me in were idiots. My idiots. I’m very grateful to them but I COULD HAVE EATEN THEM!!!
Past Party: What happens in the future.
Fieren: nothing much. You train an apprentice. The priest somehow avoid dying of liver failure or alcohol poisoning. Himmel and I get married.
Himmel: so happy! Also how did i manage that without blowing my cover?!
He totally would have eaten a person. He now technically can kill someone to eat them but doesn't because he learned eating people would get him executed. He would still suggest it as a last resort though, for example if he and the others are stuck somewhere in a blizzard and trapped for days, their emergency food is gone and they could starve to death, plus there is a conveniently dead and frozen corpse of some person nearby. He doesn't want to kill anyone but that one is already dead meat and if it means surviving long enough to get to safety, he won't hesitate or think it is wrong to gnaw the meat off a dead guy's arm.
The villagers really were a big group of idiots, to allow some demon stay with them, especially after what they went through before Himmel "saved" them. They totally came to the wrong conclusion and fell to his deception but damn, isn't he happy they didn't chase him off or attack him. Things would have ended badly for everyone. We would have never gotten Himmel, Eisen would have suffered alone with the trauma until he died and never got resolution, Heiter would have drank his life away in misery and alone without a Himmel to be his friend, Frieren would have remained in isolation and hid in her forest hut, the Demon King would have never been defeated and the war would have raged on. Terrible times for everyone in general.
Himmel also almost killed some people while in the village but luckily he didn't, he... Tries not to dwell on that for too long.
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Kabaneri on Chapter 2 Mon 26 Jan 2026 10:11PM UTC
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Kuralion (Kuralione) on Chapter 2 Tue 27 Jan 2026 01:14PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 27 Jan 2026 03:56PM UTC
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Kabaneri on Chapter 2 Fri 30 Jan 2026 08:49AM UTC
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