I get that. I've been doing this for 14 years, and throughout that time, I've joined and left so many fandoms. Toxicity is everywhere, but it just depends on where you linger. Funny, you bring this up, since I just left a fandom that, ironically, cast me out, shamed me, and tormented me relentlessly for 3 years (a Nintendo one, to boot!). It's hard, but the switch helps. I dropped Discord and now only have a Dreamwidth and Tumblr, both of which are nicer places than most. My advice on trusting too much and not being able to judge people's character would just be to really build a wall and take things slowly. I'm autistic; I've been taken advantage of for trusting and having faith in people. I've learned to keep things to myself and see how the person reacts to certain things. Trust, it gets easier to read these sorts of people and see the trends.
I'd say, don't refresh completely. Just take things slowly and get a feel for the fandoms you're in. Those fandoms seem to attract a younger audience, which definitely contributes to the toxicity, as youngins are just getting to experience fandom culture, and rather than do what most of us did way back when, they jump straight into the thick of it. My best tip would be to just lurk around. Quiet, but seeing how things are and what people do. I spent a huge chunk of my fanfic life just reading and silently observing fandom culture and how it changed. You can still comment, of course, but it's best to just sit back and take note of common "tropes" that come with fandom and fanfic in general. That helped me tremendously. Good luck on your journey to being an indie creator and getting around fandom. I know it can get hard, but it does get better the more you grow used to fandom, especially since it's changed so much since 2020.
Oh wow, that's great advice! Funny you say that, because I was also shunned from a Nintendo fandom, one of the few I still love very much and consistently write for. The person even stalked me onto different accounts on websites which is why I mentioned the refresh thing and why AO3 is my only social rn. I haven't seen them in a long time though, so I think it's safe to say they've moved on lol
I had some of that toxicity affect me for a bit, to the point I started being really mean towards myself and others. I think stepping back from the internet a bit and taking a slow reentry into it has helped me kids sort myself out. I'm most likely Autistic as well, so that would explain the specific hatred towards me for doing something wrong, even if I meant well. People like you are part of the reason I love being online, you get to see, outside your own family, that you aren't alone. ❤️
Thank you for you kind words, btw! I actually was kind if grumpy this morning because I didn't feel too great, but you really helped pick up my mood! Enjoy your week!
Comment on February 2026 Newsletter, Volume 208
Hakvrei Thu 05 Mar 2026 08:03PM UTC
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CaramelPhoenix Thu 05 Mar 2026 09:13PM UTC
Last Edited Thu 05 Mar 2026 09:30PM UTC
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