Meet Death Sitting
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“No,” Jaskier sighed. “This is the thing, Geralt. I’m middle-aged and tired and I just think I’d rather meet death sitting down and facing it rather than from behind while I’m running. You know?” He contemplated that a moment, and finally added, “Especially if it’s you.”
Set after the end of season 1.
UPDATE: The Fat Baby song in chapter 7 now exists here as composed and recorded by @fannishliss and is BRILLIANT.
See Series Notes on this series for a list of all the fics and what chronological order they go in, as well as recommended reading order if you're into that, just so you know what you're getting into here.
Series
- Part 1 of Meet Death Sitting
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The Miraculous Sisterhood by bomberqueen17
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
20 Feb 2020
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"So, I guess I'm your mother now," Jaskier said.
Ciri's body picks a bad time to undergo an unexpectedly normal transformation. Unsurprisingly, Geralt is not very equipped to handle this.
Sequel to Meet Death Sitting.
Series
- Part 2 of Meet Death Sitting
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The first time Eskel heard the song, he assumed he was being made fun of.
Set sometime between when Jaskier and Geralt meet in 1240 (Netflix timeline) and the banquet in 1249. Jaskier's about 21 or 22.
Series
- Part 3 of Meet Death Sitting
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Yennefer pouted, and he could tell it was an act. “You’re no kind of fun,” she said.
He sighed deeply, rolling his head on his neck to stretch the tension out of his shoulders. There was no point being afraid. There was nothing he could do to make her less dangerous. She wasn’t going to go away and let him sleep-- or if she did, she’d be back at any time she felt like.
So he might as well uphold his own reputation. Meet death sitting down, offer it wine, have a pleasant conversation. That sort of thing.
“Darling,” he said, “I am all kinds of fun.”Series
- Part 4 of Meet Death Sitting
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Continuing the story: Ciri arrives at Kaer Morhen.
Series
- Part 5 of Meet Death Sitting
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Brief follow-up to Along Came This Song-- Geralt's winter at Kaer Morhen just after That Song gets popular. (So, like... 1241 or so?)
Series
- Part 6 of Meet Death Sitting
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Prequel bit of the Meet Death Sitting series. Geralt keeps hanging out with the bard that wrote that song about him, and the kid keeps asking him silly questions he doesn't know how to answer.
Banter, and pining, and obliviousness, is what this is mostly about.
(Er, and then there's a plague, and some necrophages.)
(Along Came This Song and Warmth occur between the two sections of the first chapter.)
update: there is a song that goes with chapter 4! Fannishliss comes in clutch again.Series
- Part 7 of Meet Death Sitting
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The next time Geralt ran into Jaskier after the plague, he had occasion to return the favor of the ice cream.
UPDATED now with plot!!!
Series
- Part 8 of Meet Death Sitting
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This is a missing scene from The Ancient Sea, the middle of chapter 2, just after this scene:
“Lambert,” Eskel said, “Geralt wouldn’t even fuck that bard that wrote him the song, because he said the guy was too young, and he was like, twenty-five.”
"He was eighteen," Geralt corrected, and then cleared his throat. “He’s forty now,” he added.
Eskel caught a lot more out of that interjection than anyone else did, and turned to stare at Geralt, opening his mouth to comment on it, but Geralt ignored him and went on, instead, with the original conversation.
Series
- Part 9 of Meet Death Sitting
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Vesemir deals with developmental milestones in his young pupils.
Series
- Part 10 of Meet Death Sitting
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So this is an epilogue to The Ancient Sea and occurs immediately after its last chapter. I wanted to tie up the loose end of Lambert's bullet journal, and it was supposed to be funny but then I made myself sad, slightly.
But then I also made myself giggle so like, it all worked out. I hope someone besides me thinks this is funny too, but like, if nobody does, at least I do, y'know?Series
- Part 11 of Meet Death Sitting
- Part 1 of Trust
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Geralt comes home from the Path for the first time and sees Kaer Morhen through newly adult eyes.
Featuring nine-year-old Lambert.Story features characters and worldbuilding from Anoke's Lambert-centric series Some Fucking Bullshit and is written collaboratively and directly in parallel with the story The Path To The Trials, which deals with Lambert's arrival at Kaer Morhen.
Series
- Part 12 of Meet Death Sitting
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Aretuza Craftsmanship by bomberqueen17
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
09 Sep 2020
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“When you said… a personal demonstration,” Keira said, a bit hesitant.
“I meant I was willing to provide a personal demonstration,” Yennefer said pleasantly. “I mean that I have an assortment of accoutrements, and I’d be happy to provide you with a thorough introduction to both the methods and materials.”Keira has some extremely specific questions, and Yennefer has some very generous answers.
...Yes this is a follow-up to What Mages Are Like, I couldn't actually leave that unexplored, it turns out.
Series
- Part 13 of Meet Death Sitting
- Part 2 of Trust
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There was nothing left at Kaer Morhen to come back to in the winter of 1273, but Lambert eventually discovered, to his astonishment, that he still was a person despite everything, and of all things, he still needed to go somewhere.
(Direct sequel to Aretuza Craftsmanship.)Series
- Part 14 of Meet Death Sitting
- Part 3 of Trust
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This is more or less several missing scenes from right around chapter 16 of The Ancient Sea, laying to rest a few loose ends I'd been meaning to address.
Also, the final punchline, from Jaskier's POV, to the weirdness about Witcher teeth that, if we extend our memories back to the beforetimes, is what really started my weird journey into Witcher fanfic.
(Which makes this sound like an ending, which really, it's not. If you want more nonbinary Lambert, that's a large part of the Lambert/Keira thing I'm also working on.)Series
- Part 15 of Meet Death Sitting
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Some careful and not entirely successful negotations about relationships and attempts to lay the past to rest, which go somewhat awry. Direct continuation of The Ideal Man.
Series
- Part 16 of Meet Death Sitting
- Part 4 of Trust
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Keira has made a discovery, and she has to figure out how to explain it to Lambert.
Series
- Part 17 of Meet Death Sitting
- Part 5 of Trust
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Aiden's had a rough couple of... however long it's been.
Series
- Part 6 of Trust
- Part 18 of Meet Death Sitting
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Post-rescue, Aiden needs some time to catch up, and Keira has to take care of some things.
Lambert needs to wear a flowered apron and have a hot ass.Series
- Part 7 of Trust
- Part 19 of Meet Death Sitting
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After a few more rounds of our three brave heroes taking turns holding the sole braincell, we get on with the Action Plot to bring this whole mess toward some kind of resolution.
Series
- Part 8 of Trust
- Part 20 of Meet Death Sitting
