Thoughts and Conversations
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Summary
Months into his therapy, Charlie has a conversation with Nick about some of his greatest fears.
He got up and crawled into his bed, not touching Nick as not to wake him, just watching him sleep. I could watch you sleep for the rest of my life, and it would be enough. In these moments all his darkest thoughts, all his insecurities and fears and doubts vanished into the farthest back of his mind, letting him for once feel all his love and admiration for Nick. But those thoughts weren't gone. And these precious moments were over far too soon.
Nick opened his eyes and looked at Charlie.
“Hi!”
“Hi!”
How do I deserve to be this happy?Series
- Part 1 of Thoughts and Conversations
- Part 5 of ONE NIGHT
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Summary
One of Charlie's early therapy sessions, presented in the form of a theatre play
This is a standalone. However, a session like this might have led to the conversation in “Do I love you enough?”
THERAPIST
Hmm. Is he intelligent?
CHARLIE
Oh yeah!! I mean – not only with school stuff I mean, he's not as good as me in school, but..., you know, but you know, he´s just so good with...people stuff, I guess? I mean, he...he really understands things. He understands me...he understands himself. He is, like, he´s very kind of sure of who he is, of who he wants to be. And I admire that about him, I really do!
THERAPIST
Do you know who you want to be? Do you know who you are?
CHARLIE
Oh, I know who I am! I'm – I'm the gay kid at school! I'm – I'm (deep sigh) – I m the looser.Series
- Part 2 of Thoughts and Conversations
- Part 6 of ONE NIGHT
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Story without name by VroDo for Coach1305
Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic), Original Work
31 Jan 2025
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Summary
I am here. At last. And there it is. This great big looming building. It fills me with dread. As I look at it, I realise that my feet are glued to the gravelly ground beneath me.
I can’t do this.
I can’t go in.
But I can’t turn back either.
Series
- Part 3 of Thoughts and Conversations
- Part 3 of Original work&Poetry
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Summary
Charlie is a teenager. Charlie is hurting. And Charlie writes poems about it. Just for himself, until one day Tori dares him to publish them on tumblr.
Series
- Part 4 of Thoughts and Conversations
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Summary
“Charlie?” He snapped out of it. The question had not been voiced, but he could hear it in his head as if Nick had shouted it. Was that okay?
He had already answered that, hadn't he? And yet...Confusion took over. He had never had to deal with a question like that. His thoughts wandered to his friends. (...)
Had they ever asked Was that okay? He'd get an Are you okay or a Was your day okay or an Are you feeling okay, but never this one simple question that – as Charlie realized now with a sense of dread – he had been missing so sorely. He closed his eyes, tears welling up inside of him. Unable to speak and still feeling Nick's kind and worried eyes on him, he silently shook his head as if to plead I need time! Please, Nick...It wasn't fair. Nick had his own problems to think about, he didn't need Charlie's too. Please, I don't want to burden you, please don't make me, please don't leave!
But the strong part of Charlie, the part that hadn't been shattered into pieces by his past, unwaveringly came back to Nick's question: Was that okay?
OR: What goes on in Charlie's head after Nick tells him about his Coming-Out to Tara.
Series
- Part 5 of Thoughts and Conversations
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Summary
Nick and Charlie discuss whether they should hook up or not.
Series
- Part 6 of Thoughts and Conversations
- Part 29 of Crack&Fun
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Nick gets angry - and so do I by VroDo
Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic), Fandom - Fandom
28 Mar 2025
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Summary
“So?” I prompt. He looks at me for a moment as if unsure what to do before he sits down on my bed. I'm glad it's not raining I think a tad bit sarcastically. That must have been a hell of o proper full on gay crisis. I chuckle. He looks at me indignantly. I need to remind myself that this boy is only 16 and not 20. Well, I'm a teacher, I should be able to deal with this after all. As I slowly start towards my bed to see what this is actually all about I grab the back of my computer chair and roll it with me in order to sit down and face Nicholas “Nick” Nelson, who is sitting on my bed right now– fully dry, thank God! – and who has thankfully not yet seen the Alice Oseman book collection on my bookshelf. I make a mental note to myself to move them into the cupboard downstairs for the time being – with all caution and care they deserve, and not without promising them that they would be back beside my bed as soon as possible.
“What? What is it?”
Or: What happens when Nick learns about Kit Connor and Joe Locke?
Series
- Part 7 of Thoughts and Conversations