a bomb and a spider walk into a bar

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• Though we have sparred, wrestled and raged (I can tell you, I love him each day) by deadly_kalopsia for SpindleBats

  Fandoms: Call of Duty (Video Games)  

  • Mature
  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • Multi
  • Complete Work

  05 Sep 2025

  Tags

  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson/Aiko "Webs" Richardson
  • shes barely mentioned but we love her
  • John "Soap" MacTavish & Original Male Character(s)
  • Simon "Ghost" Riley & Original Male Character(s)
  • John Price (Call of Duty) & Original Male Character(s)
  • Kyle "Gaz" Garrick & Original Male Character(s)
  • Original Call of Duty Character(s)
  • Original Male Character(s)
  • Original Female Character(s)
  • John "Soap" MacTavish
  • John Price (Call of Duty)
  • John "Soap" MacTavish's Family
  • John "Soap" MacTavish's Mother
  • Simon "Ghost" Riley
  • Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
  • Original Child Character(s)
  • (John's family)
  • Task Force 141 Ensemble
  • hey look some lore
  • Major Original Character(s)
  • This is lore for my OC
  • Author Has Played Call of Duty
  • Call of Duty OCs
  • Catholic Guilt
  • Dissociation
  • Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)
  • Minor John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley
  • Author Attempts Writing John "Soap" MacTavish's Scottish Accent
  • author probably fails
  • The Author Regrets Nothing
  • The Author Regrets Everything
  • Original Character is John "Soap" MacTavishes brother
  • Author Is Not Religious
  • Author is not Scottish
  • Implied/Referenced Torture
  • Hurt/Comfort
  • the writing gets better as it goes on i swear
  • Original Character has OCD
  • author has OCD
  • Audrey does not have a good mindset in this one gang
  • Nightmares
  • kneading dough as a coping mechanism
  • Title from a Sufjan Stevens Song
  • Tags May Change

  Summary

  “…Auds?” Audrey stopped cold in his step off the plane. He hadn’t heard that voice in years, not since…

  “Audrey-?” He could hear John’s voice crack at the end of his name and finally looked up to make eye contact.

  “…Hi John.”

  or:
  My cod OCs lore

  Series

  • Part 2 of a bomb and a spider walk into a bar

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  15,377

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  3

  Kudos:

  8

  Hits:

  159

• All the nightmares escaped my head (Bar the door, please don't let them in) by deadly_kalopsia for SpindleBats

  Fandoms: Call of Duty (Video Games)  

  • Mature
  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • Multi
  • Complete Work

  21 Oct 2025

  Tags

  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson/Aiko "Webs" Richardson
  • Original Female Character(s) & Original Male Character(s)
  • Original Male Character & Task Force 141
  • Simon "Ghost" Riley & Original Male Character(s)
  • John "Soap" MacTavish & Original Male Character(s)
  • John Price (Call of Duty) & Original Male Character(s)
  • Kyle "Gaz" Garrick & Original Male Character(s)
  • Kate Laswell & Original Male Character(s)
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson
  • Aiko "Webs" Richardson
  • Simon "Ghost" Riley
  • John "Soap" MacTavish
  • John Price (Call of Duty)
  • Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
  • Kate Laswell
  • Gary "Roach" Sanderson (mentioned)
  • Major Original Character(s)
  • Author Has Played Call of Duty
  • only ghost and price have any real dialogue
  • Catholic Guilt
  • But less this time
  • Torture
  • Aftermath of Torture
  • this is somewhere between
  • Implied/Referenced Torture
  • and explicit torture.
  • the torture happened in the past
  • Author Attempts Writing John "Soap" MacTavish's Scottish Accent
  • Minor John "Soap" MacTavish/Simon "Ghost" Riley
  • and by that i mean its not mentioned but theyre in a commited relationship
  • Brotherly Simon "Ghost" Riley
  • Protective Simon "Ghost" Riley
  • The Author Regrets Nothing
  • The Author Regrets Everything
  • Mental Health Issues
  • Not telling the whole truth
  • Hiding Medical Issues
  • but theyre past medical issues
  • Aiko and Audrey are married but not in a romantic relationship (theyre a secret third thing)
  • VHS Tapes
  • Military Inaccuracies
  • Hurt/Comfort
  • Mild Hurt/Comfort
  • Title from a Radical Face Song
  • Past Torture
  • Past Sleep Deprivation
  • Past Malnutrition
  • Past Whipping
  • Past electrocution
  • Lichtenberg Figure Scars
  • Medical Inaccuracies
  • like. hella.
  • me remembering that ghost is literally a decade older than audrey in this and going wild
  • ghost decided thats his brother now
  • depictions of torture
  • Lack of Communication
  • that gets mostly solved
  • Communication
  • kinda betad but we still die like 09 soapghost
  • istg the tags make it sound like it’s way angstier than it actually is
  • now with added fanart!!

  Summary

  “The fuck is that?” He heard Aiko ask from beside him.

  “Looks like some goat jaw or something?” Gaz said, walking over to look at it closer. Audrey gripped it in his palm, using his thumb to scrape off some dried blood.

  “Lamb.” He heard himself whisper. He heard John make a confused noise and he cleared his throat. “It’s…It’s a lamb’s jaw.”

   

  Or:

  Torture is probably something you should make your loved ones aware happened.

  Series

  • Part 3 of a bomb and a spider walk into a bar

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  2,886

  Chapters:

  2/2

  Comments:

  10

  Kudos:

  13

  Bookmarks:

  1

  Hits:

  232

• The way I am (Not strong enough to be your man) by deadly_kalopsia for SpindleBats

  Fandoms: Call of Duty (Video Games)  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • F/M
  • Complete Work

  21 Sep 2025

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson/Aiko "Webs" Richardson
  • Original Female Character(s) & Original Male Character(s)
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson
  • Aiko "Webs" Richardson
  • John "Soap" MacTavish (mentioned)
  • Original Characters
  • Original Female Character(s)
  • Original Male Character(s)
  • Panic Attacks
  • Self-Worth Issues
  • Self-Esteem Issues
  • Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
  • (audrey grabs his arms and chest and pulls his hair)
  • Hurt/Comfort
  • Emotional Hurt/Comfort
  • Catholic Guilt
  • Religious Guilt
  • this is all reeds fault
  • no beta we die like 09 soapghost
  • Author Has Played Call of Duty
  • not that it really matters for this
  • Major Original Character(s)
  • this is literally just ocs - Freeform
  • unhealthy mindsets
  • do not use audrey as a reference for good mental health
  • self deprication
  • audrey and aiko are married but not in a romatic relationship
  • theyre a secret third thing
  • Author Has Panic Attacks
  • this is just me projecting i fear
  • Author Attempts Writing a Scottish Accent
  • Title From a boygenius Song

  Summary

  He tried to rationalize with himself. He was an adult, he was a soldier, he was strong. (“God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.” His father used to tell him. “You’re strong, right Audrey?”)

   

  or:

  I project onto my oc

  Series

  • Part 5 of a bomb and a spider walk into a bar

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  1,079

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  5

  Kudos:

  4

  Bookmarks:

  1

  Hits:

  35

• I'll pretend (that being with you doesn't feel like drowning) by deadly_kalopsia for SpindleBats

  Fandoms: Call of Duty (Video Games)  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • Other
  • Complete Work

  24 Nov 2025

  Tags

  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson/Aiko "Webs" Richardson
  • Original male character(s) & Original female character(s)
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson & God
  • Audrey "Burner" Wilson
  • Aiko "Webs" Richardson
  • Original Male Character(s)
  • Original Female Character(s)
  • God
  • i say this is cod. and it is. but also there are zero cod characters in this.
  • Drowning
  • Author Is Not Religious
  • Medical Inaccuracies
  • Military Inaccuracies
  • Biblical Inaccuracies (Abrahamic Religions)
  • god is there
  • Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation
  • CPR
  • Nightmares
  • Promises
  • Near Death Experiences
  • Temporary Character Death
  • author attempts to write a scottish accent
  • Author Has Played Call of Duty
  • again not that its very relevant for this one
  • Title From a boygenius Song

  Summary

  The next thing he knows, the hand that was gripping his shirt lets go, and he falls into the inky abyss of the water below.

  Then,

  blissful nothing.

  or:

  author is normal about God and isnt projecting at all.

  Series

  • Part 6 of a bomb and a spider walk into a bar

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  1,900

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  2

  Kudos:

  1

  Hits:

  59