neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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The door opened, creaking lightly as it did. Minho froze, body locking up and his breathing stopping completely. He was in a stall, sitting on the toilet seat, trying to not sob. And someone was coming in to supposedly use the bathroom. This was embarrassing, frustratingly embarrassing. Dumb, brainless, unrelentingly stupid. Why did he have to yell?
little summary:
minho is struggling with alexithymia, which is where a person has trouble explaining and identifying their emotions. he’s been progressively getting more agitated as the day goes on and jisung messing up again in rehearsals is the last straw and he snaps at him. cue jisung trying to understand and minho not knowing how to explain. chan’s trying his best too.Series
- Part 1 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Doing nothing is fine – in fact, Seungmin rather likes it. There’s a clear difference though. Doing nothing while trapped in a car after a long day that still has a few more hours to go isn’t the same as voluntarily staring at the floor for a progressively concerning amount of time.
One is beloved due to how fun it can be, just to sit and do nothing. Feel nothing, think nothing, mindless nothing. The other is borderline painful. Being trapped with a time limit of how long he can be trapped for is anxiety inducing, especially because he can’t get himself unstuck. When he doesn’t have control.
little summary:
seungmin struggles to deal with a change in plans when a meeting is pushed back. he’s struggling to speak, which eventually compiles into a full shutdown during the meeting. his normal way of dealing with his thoughts and feelings doesn’t work, and he can’t figure out why. when he wakes up, his ocd is making his life ever more miserable. fluffy comfort to follow in the evening <3Series
- Part 2 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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“Lix.”
“Huh?”
“You were zoning out again.”
“Oh, sorry.”It didn’t feel like zoning out. It felt like he wasn’t in his body, like he was being pulled away from it, like he was watching everything he was doing but from far away in his brain. Everything was fuzzy and too big but too small – nothing was real.
little summary:
felix dissociates really badly, he can’t move or talk. hyunjin helps him through it.Series
- Part 3 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Chan, he assumes, knocks on his door. Definitely screamed, ok, that’s great. Perfect, abso-fucking-lutely fantastic. “Iyen-ah? Is everything ok?” He’s tempted to yell no. Just scream at him so he goes away and doesn’t come back. That’ll make it worse, however, and he doesn’t want to be his roommate’s centre of attention right now, he can’t explain why. He loves his Channie-hyung, but he doesn’t want to talk.
little summary:
jeongin has a nightmare relating to his childhood trauma he never talks about. nobody knows what happened to him - it’s been years and he still won’t open up - but chan tries to be someone he can be comfortable with. jisung, also having a bad day, has to talk him into it a little. but chan puts his frustration aside, finding a way to help.Series
- Part 4 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Hyunjin felt like shit. But he nodded anyways.
He couldn’t do what he wanted. He has to sit and wait. While feeling like shit.
little summary:
the outfits are irritating hyunjin so much that he doesn’t know if he’s going to get through the concert. changbin (his boyfriend), minho and chan all try to help.Series
- Part 5 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Minho lifts his head up, shaking it back and forth and back and forth until it hurts too much. “Shh, I’ve got you, I’m here.” Jisung takes Minho’s hand and squeezes it, letting him squeeze back as much as he wants. As much as he needs. Everything too much. “Just let it out, ok? I’m here.” He’s trying and trying and trying to get it all to stop, to bottle it back up so they can move on. He’s painfully aware he’s holding them all up and he doesn’t know what the fuck to do about it other than pretend he’s fine.
little summary:
stray kids have to go to the airport, as they often do. minho’s having a good day until the group is told they won’t have additional barriers between them and the crowds. that’s normal, pretty common actually, he’s dealt with it so many times before. but he’s anxious now, and everything gets too much. he ends up having a meltdown and a shutdown, the rest of the members help him through it. especially jisung, his boyfriend.Series
- Part 6 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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“So. How are you?”
“Good.”
“Hah, that’s a lie.”
“You’re predictable, Seungmin-ah.”
“It’s still a lie, Changbin-hyung.”
little summary:
changbin’s been noticeably struggling lately. seungmin argues with him (lovingly) until he talks about it.Series
- Part 7 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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A car alarm had gone off. It was a little too loud, which should be fine. It would be fine normally. He’s around loud music and sounds all day, he doesn’t really get a break from them. He shouldn’t have reacted to a loud noise like this, because he doesn’t. That isn’t a trigger.
But, alas, here he is.
little summary:
skz have a day off. felix starts the day ok, but on his morning walk something happens. the rest of the day is the skz members trying to help but mostly failing, and seungmin’s having a bad day too. until a conversation in the bathroom over text.Series
- Part 8 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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It wasn’t even embarrassing anymore, it was solely infuriating. He hated it. Standing there trying to watch Hyunjin explain it, again, for probably the hundredth time. Jisung couldn’t understand it, because the explanation was exactly what he was doing. But he wasn’t doing it correctly? Despite knowing the choreography and performing well so many times? Why can’t he get it?
little summary:
jisung is struggling with choreo he should know because he’s performed it a thousand times. hyunjin tries to help, but when it gets to a point that they should both rest, jisung snaps at him. changbin and minho try to put the pieces back together, so that their respective boyfriends aren’t at each others throats for weeks to come.Series
- Part 9 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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“Do you need a drink or something? Or some food?” Minho shook his head lightly, following the older’s movements through the dorm. They stopped in the kitchen. “Are you sure?”
“Just… Want a hug.”
little summary:
minho starts coming to chan for help. he doesn’t talk about why. he barely speaks at all. but chan’s determined to help.Series
- Part 10 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
- Part 1 of minchan
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Summary
lixie
bad day?minnie
Yes. Unfortunately.lixie
oh seungminnie :((
wat do u need help with?jinnie
why are you asking us for help???little summary:
seungmin, felix and hyunjin are in the car. seungmin’s ocd does not like the car. they text about it.Series
- Part 11 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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“Baby?” He’s not a baby, he’s a kid. He’s a big boy, he’s not that small. “Innie, what’s up, hm? Can you tell me?”
little summary:
jeongin has a nightmare and regresses in front of his boyfriend, hyunjin, for the first time.this is sfw age regression, not age play, this is not sexual at all.
Series
- Part 12 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
- Part 1 of age regression / little skz
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It’s not between other people, and it’s not for other people either. It’s for Seungmin to check on Minho. It’s for Minho to know that Seungmin is checking on him. It’s for them both to feel better.
little summary:
based on 2min 2kr where seungmin said he gives lee know pudding and asks if he’s ok when he seems upset.Series
- Part 13 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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His head was fuzzy – small fuzzy – which means he should go to Felix’s room. Curl up in his bed, snuggle in and steal his warmth. That sounds nice, comfy and sweet. Sugary. And it’s also what he’s meant to do, per Felix’s insistent instructions.
little summary:
seungmin wakes up regressed, goes to sleep in felix’s room, then wakes up again. still small. but felix has to leave for a flight, and he’s upset over it. channie-hyung and binnie-hyung look after him.this is sfw age regression, not age play, this is not sexual at all.
Series
- Part 14 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
- Part 2 of age regression / little skz
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Summary
“What’s going on, hm?” He asks only because Chan is clearly upset, but not obviously. No tears streaking his cheeks, no excessive fidgeting. Simply frantic.
And that’s normally worse, the calm(ish) before the storm.“Can’t breathe. I-I don’t know- I had a panic attack earlier but I don’t think it helped like it should have and I didn’t know what to do and I feel like I’m gonna have a meltdown because I-I can’t think and—”
Right. “Ok. Ok. Slow. Yes? Slow.” Minho has to throw out any problems he has, because Chan needs him. And that’s more important than anything. “Let’s go sit in my room, hm? Is that fine?” With a small but sure nod, Chan’s already halfway to Minho’s bedroom.
little summary:
minho opens his door to chan (his boyfriend) standing there, visibly upset, explaining that he thinks he’s going to have an autistic meltdown. minho has to put his own problems aside for a while and help chan through it, but afterwards his thoughts and feelings get too much. chan tries to help minho just after minho helped him.Series
- Part 15 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
- Part 5 of minchan
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Summary
The entire event can be a nightmare. Nerves vibrating in anticipation for their performance, sometimes sitting for so long that they’ve gained multiple awards in the meantime. Uncomfortable chairs, spending too much energy on masking, having to do the impossible task of simply just waiting.
At least they get to watch other groups. And they get to sit together.
little summary:
skz are at an awards show. felix dissociates badly, jisung has a panic attack, hyunjin is overwhelmed by everyone else’s problem and seungmin has to take a break even though he doesn’t want to. chan, jeongin, changbin and minho help.Series
- Part 16 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Summary
“You know how… Uh, you know how we’ve been dating for a while?”
Minho bows his head, breaking eye contact. “Yes.”
“Well- Like, did… Hh.” Why’s it so hard? “Have you… enjoyed? It? Like, all of it- The… dates… and… things…” That was terrible, he literally planned this out in his head, and somehow it came out as the most awkward thing in existence.
“Yes.” Chan’s heart flips. “Why?” Then all hope of getting Minho to do all the work disappears.
little summary:
chan and minho have lengthy discussions about what the best petnames / nicknames are after they officially become boyfriend and boyfriend. it’s a big change for them both, but especially minho, and chan wants him to be as comfortable as possible.Series
- Part 3 of minchan
- Part 17 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Summary
Quiet. Not peaceful, far from it. But the kind of quiet that was loud in it’s silence. Lacking everything other than nothingness. Disorientating quiet, raking through his ears with a scrape that could be felt but not heard. Pain that elicited silent screams because nothing works here. Not in this mindset.
little summary:
felix dissociates and experiences a flashback. minho and jeongin help.Series
- Part 18 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Summary
The box is small, but not tiny. Book sized. It’s wrapped in holographic paper, shimmering a little under the lights. There’s a purple ribbon tied around it, almost like a birthday present. “Is that for me?” Chan smiles, handing Minho the box so he can look at it better. There’s a small label on it.
For Min written in English. Fancy handwriting, wavy and letters joined, but clear enough that he can read it. Minho wouldn’t say that it’s thoughtful out loud, but he lets the idea float in his head freely.
little summary:
chan buys minho a gift. it’s unexpected, a little scary and minho doesn’t know how he feels about it. or chan, for that matter, but that’s less important.Series
- Part 2 of minchan
- Part 19 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz
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Summary
Changbin tugs him closer, kissing the top of his head. “Was that good, baby?” He hums, nodding slightly, because it’s always good. The oldest moves his hair out of his eyes for him, pressing small kisses across his face. “You were so pretty fucking him, you know that?”
I always am, is what Seungmin wants to say. But instead, he makes an attempt to nod, because talking is proving more difficult than it should. Words clogging up his throat and making it feel swollen and raw.
What if he’s ill?
little summary:
seungmin always finds sex overwhelming, his boyfriends know that. he’s struggling to speak because of sensory overload and OCD decides he’s dying from an illness. changbin and hyunjin help.Series
- Part 20 of neurodivergent & mentally ill skz