CeresLenoir
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An Our Flag Means Death SM/AMAU based on Bridget Jones's Diary. Contains: comedy, romance, questionable choice of boyfriends, better choice of boyfriends, chainsmoking, bad singing, supportive friends, an overbearing mum-friend, quality 80s and 90s music, tooth-rotting fluff.
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Stede Bonnet, the son of a wealthy Manhattan real estate tycoon, has no interest in taking over the family business. Recently divorced after coming out as gay and in full mid-life crisis mode, he purchases and opens his own cocktail lounge, The Gentleman Pirate. There's just one problem- he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
As luck would have it, his antics attract the attention of Brooklyn's local legend Edward Teach, renowned mixologist and owner of Bushwick's hottest goth bar, The Lovecraft. In between bartending lessons and Ed's secret side hustle as a pseudonymous erotica writer, the two men find more than they bargained for in one another. -
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Stede Bonnet is a merman born to nobility, living a sheltered and, in his opinion, boring life at the center of a great underwater city. His days are spent attending city council meetings and attending stuffy social gatherings, but his mind is always on the fantasies and adventures he's only able to read about in books.
He becomes entranced by stories of the In-Between, the mysterious and forbidden stretches of ocean between the merfolk cities. Stede has been taught that the In-Between is a dangerous place full of horrifying monsters, but some claim it's simply unexplored territory full of fascinating treasures and sights. When word spreads that a thief is terrorizing the wealthy families of each city and taking their most precious valuables, rumors swirl that the thief is none other than The Kraken. Is the Kraken a cursed merman, cast out from the kingdom? A witch with terrible power bent on enacting revenge? Or merely a merman of unusual form whose story has been exaggerated to legendary proportions?
Stede is determined to find out, and he can't very well learn much from the isolated inner circle. He will have to set out on his first real adventure.
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Ed feels bad about slashing up Stede’s auxiliary wardrobe. That isn’t actually the thing that needs mending.
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This story takes place between the ending of s02e04 and shortly after s02e05.
This is not a fix-it fic, just an alternate path to what will likely be a long, painful, mistake-filled journey to their final happiness. But this time with smut.
Bookmarked by CeresLenoir
30 Sep 2025
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There's a thought Stede has never thought before.
He's finally ready to think it, and to meet himself on the other side.
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A slow, meandering exploration about coming out.
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- English
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- 20,766
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- 20/20
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- 2
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Bookmarked by CeresLenoir
26 Aug 2025
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Ed jerks his head in the direction of the couch in the nearby waiting nook, and prepares himself for impending disaster.
The impending disaster follows. Eagerly.
“I’ve organized everything chronologically,” he says, setting the overstuffed briefcase down and thumbing through some of the piles. “But I can, of course, rearrange the presentation order based on your personal preferences! Alphabetically? Most-to-least amusing? Oh! Or a mystery draw - just pick a random folder without looking! That could be fun, couldn’t it?”
Somewhere, deep in Ed’s soul, a very tiny, very tired voice goes: there is something deeply wrong with you as a man, Ed. You’re into this. Don’t even try to fucking deny it.
(Or: Stede Bonnet is getting his first tattoo. Maybe. If Ed is able to rifle through Stede's entire briefcase of ideas and pro/con lists and flow charts and excel spreadsheets, and figure out what he actually wants. Which might take some time. A Reverse Big Bang 2025 fic with art by bbyteach!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,010
- Chapters:
- 4/4
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- 1
- Comments:
- 356
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- 318
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- 64
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Bookmarked by CeresLenoir
11 Aug 2025
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the (not so) lost art of the fire lookout by foxtails
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
07 Jan 2024
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“I spent months imagining you,” Stede says, stepping right up into Ed’s space, hand resting on his shoulder. “Weeks and months trying to piece together the information I had about you, trying to form it into some kind of visual. You’re everything and yet somehow nothing like I conjured up.”
Ed takes a breath, leans a little closer, pressing his temple to Stede’s so he can feel the words against his skin.
“There are so many gaps in my knowledge of you. How you look, and how you feel. How you taste. How you smell. I want to learn all about you. All the spaces in the jigsaw I’ve spent all summer building in my head. I want to finish it.”
Series
- Part 3 of seven point three miles
Bookmarked by CeresLenoir
05 Aug 2025
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It’s 1972. The Cold War is on, velvet suits are in, and glam rock is about to launch into the stratosphere. So is geologist Stede Bonnet – the first scientist accepted into NASA’s Apollo training program. When veteran astronaut Ed Teach gets bumped off of the crew for Apollo 17, can Stede possibly fill his shoes?
Also available as a podfic!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,419
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 612
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- 249
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- 86
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Bookmarked by CeresLenoir
20 Jul 2025