Effugium
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“Do none of you care about the children? It’s a bachelor auction, and you, my friend, are a bachelor. Abracadabra, put your name on the list.”
“I can’t,” Eddie repeats. He can’t. He cannot. “I’m not.”
“You’re not? Since when?” Chimney frowns. “Who?”
It’s not Eddie’s fault that, at that exact moment, Buck walks in. So it’s not his fault that he opens his mouth and says, “Buck.”
Or, Eddie trips and falls into a lightly fraudulent HR-disclosed "consensual romantic relationship" with his best friend. Really, if you think about it, it's a win-win.
Bookmarked by Effugium
19 Mar 2026
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post-9x10 spec: Christopher is fed up at being treated like glass after being kidnapped. Characteristically, he runs to Buck about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,315
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 20
- Kudos:
- 564
- Bookmarks:
- 53
- Hits:
- 2,769
Bookmarked by Effugium
18 Mar 2026
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Buck isn't sure when his new house became a lighthouse to all the 118 children, but he's not complaining.
Or: three times Buck's house was a safe space for the 118 kids, and one time it was another home.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,860
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 91
- Kudos:
- 1,175
- Bookmarks:
- 232
- Hits:
- 6,295
Bookmarked by Effugium
18 Mar 2026
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Oh, alright, cool.
Cool, cool, cool. Neat.
That is a photograph of Eddie Diaz's dick.
It's just there. On the screen. In his hand. In high resolution. His best friend’s dick is in his hand. Well, wait — the photo. The photo of the penis is in his hand. Eddie’s dick isn’t in his hand. That would be absurd.
It’s just a penis. Buck has one of those.
So does Eddie, apparently and it’s… Buck has seen it, absorbed it, and every thought he's ever had has been replaced by a high-pitched tone and the image in front of him, which is — and this is the last coherent observation he'll produce for the foreseeable future —
Big.
Genuinely, impressively big.
Buck closes out of the photo and locks the phone so hard he's surprised it doesn't crack in half.
"Maddie say anything?" Eddie asks.
"Yep," Buck squeaks. Like a mouse. A giant, shocked mouse that has just seen its best friend’s erect dick.
"You okay?"
"Great. Y-yep. So great. I-I'm just really— the sunset was really— it's very— yep."
"It’s yep?"
"Uh-huh. Very yep."
Or,
Stumbling upon your straight best friends' nudes is fine. Buck is fine. Everything is fine.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,758
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 128
- Kudos:
- 1,805
- Bookmarks:
- 323
- Hits:
- 10,749
Bookmarked by Effugium
17 Mar 2026
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On the phone, Eddie starts speaking again, his voice soft and warm. “Buck, I don’t know how, but you always know exactly—”
He’s still speaking as Ravi leans down, picks up the remote, and hands it to Buck.
Buck manages to look away from the phone—from Eddie—for long enough to grin thankfully at Ravi and instinctively say, “Thanks, honey.”
Eddie stops, mid-sentence. Just… stops.
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OR: Buck decides Ravi needs a new nickname. Eddie loses his mind over it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,205
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 104
- Kudos:
- 2,353
- Bookmarks:
- 478
- Hits:
- 30,021
Bookmarked by Effugium
17 Mar 2026