ExcavatingLizard



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  1. Rec 29

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    Carrot becomes king.

    What follows is shit getting real.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,495
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    356
    Bookmarks:
    29
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    4,273

    15 Jan 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark 16

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    ‘I want to do something I’ll regret in the morning!’ Downey announced, rather proud of himself.
    Ludo laughed, ‘Why would you want to do that?’
    ‘Because,’ Downey said, as seriously as the gin in his blood would let him, ‘The things one regrets the morning after are almost always the things one is glad to have done when one is old and grey.’
    ‘That’s uncharacteristically deep of you Downey,’ Vetinari murmured, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, ‘And rather optimistic to think you’ll live that long.’

    Or, an overview of Downey and Vetinari's relationship through the years, told through a kiss.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,576
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    109
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    16
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    794

    12 Jan 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark 16

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    Sometimes, Vimes feels like an armoured moon in orbit around a number of extremely specific planets.

    ‘Is it normal at my time of life to start thinking, I don’t know, odd thoughts? Out of character stuff? Strange daydreams and things?’

    ‘You mean like a mid-life crisis?’

    Vimes isn’t sure he does. He knows about those. A man reaches a peak in life and wonders why there’s so much space at the top, then he starts driving a faster cart and runs off to Quirm with a secretary called Cloris.

    (This fic needed to go back to the drawing board to have the broken bit set, but now thirsty Vimes has re-entered the building and is in reception)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,683
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    138
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    16
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    1,170

    25 Dec 2025

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  4. Rec 45

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    We're used to tremors. To having the Earth shudder under our feet, always falling back into place. Never something to worry about. Sam Vimes has been ignoring the way the ground shivers.

    Havelock Vetinari knows that someday the eruption will come

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,793
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    266
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    45
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    2,307

    19 Nov 2025

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    During her travels, Hornet finds a mysterious shackle meant to bind malfunctioning automatons for future disassembly. Such a discovery would be insignificant — except more and more similar shackles keep appearing around the choral chambers, as if hunting a certain prey.

    She's not the only one who has noticed. The Second Sentinel of Pharloom remembers such shackles from ages ago — and if their suspicion is correct, it is not just themselves who is in danger from an old hunter's obsession.

    It will take both of their combined strength to combat this unseen foe…

    (…and if that draws them closer together, well. That's just a bonus.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,930
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    214
    Kudos:
    565
    Bookmarks:
    131
    Hits:
    10,817

    29 Oct 2025