Lyllistrata



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    Shane watches Ilya shove a hand through his hair, waits for him to meet his eyes. “You pretend to want things, pretend I can have things that we both know you won’t let me have,” he says, his newfound self-esteem carrying him past the point of no return. He wishes he’d never discovered it, because it’s making Ilya’s face do something awful.

    “Oh, you mean I hurt your feelings?”

    Close enough, Shane supposes, his chest aching again. He goes to lift his hand again, sees Ilya zero in on the movement, doesn’t. “I guess so.”

    Ilya scoffs, mean and sharp. “So sorry, Hollander, I didn’t mean to make you get so emotional about a casual fuck.”
    Asshole. So many times he has lobbed the word at Ilya in exasperation, reluctant affection and disbelief, but now he thinks it with vitriolic anger. “I think you should go.”

    Shane finally decides that Ilya's ability to weaponise sex isn't enough for him anymore. Ilya doesn't take it well, but Shane holds firm. Then they start to text about it. Sort of.

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    22 Mar 2026

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    Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

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    20 Mar 2026

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    [Tweet] @roz81: My son has turned into iPad baby. How do I stop this? Somebody give me phone number of Apple. Tell them to destroy iPads

    [Tweet] @HerezPilton: Breaking News! confirmation of multiple illegitimate children from Ilya Rozanov. Go to the link in bio for full article!

    or, Ilya is an online menace much to everyone's dismay

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    20 Mar 2026

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    “Am I a bad friend?”

    Hayden has always been the guy Shane joked with, the guy he trusted to feed him without mocking him, the guy he roomed with on the road, and Shane is the only man who has ever seen Hayden cry, and Hayden loves Shane. He fucking loves him. They are like brothers, and they have been for almost ten fucking years. He’s always been Shane’s guy, Shane’s best friend.

    Except all along, maybe that wasn’t true. Ilya Rozanov, apparently, had been the guy. Before Hayden had ever met Shane, Ilya Rozanov had been there. And Hayden had never even noticed.

    Shane is all over every inch of Hayden’s life. Hayden thought that was reciprocal.
    +++
    “You know I think about you all the time,
    And my deep misunderstanding of your life,
    And how bad it must have been for you back then,
    And how hard it was to keep it all inside.”

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    19 Mar 2026

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    “You really wouldn’t mind if I had sex with someone else?”

    Ilya does mind. Hearing it said back to him, almost makes him flinch, a sudden and brittle sound right next to his ear that he fails to recoil from in time. But he swallows back the bitter truth and replies, “Of course not. If that is what you want.”

    He waits, sitting on his living room couch, phone pressed painfully against his ear, his other hand gripping his knees till his knuckles blanched. He could feel his own heart rattling behind his ribs, pulse rockingloudly. His mind was an echo of alarm, demanding of him: Why isn't Shane saying anything?

    It was the loudest silence he’s ever lived through, until Shane finally said, “Okay.”

    OR: inspired by the fight in TLG where Ilya tells Shane he can sleep with other men. But this time, Shane actually takes the offer.

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    13 Mar 2026