Microwavedoranges



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    “Where is my baby?” Ilya asks as soon as he opens the door to the Pikes’ SUV when it pulls into the parking lot of Christ Church Cathedral. 

    “Lovely to see you too, Rozanov,” Hayden says as he opens his car door. 

    “Hi, Hayden,” Shane says from behind Ilya. “Lovely to see you. Please ignore my husband.”

    Ilya can’t even be bothered to snark back at either of them, because today is his big day. 

    Well, mostly. It’s sort of Amber’s day, too, he guesses, and kind of Shane’s as well if one were to look at it from a very specific angle, but mostly it’s Ilya’s. 

    And as Amber gives him a cheesy grin when she sees him (a new development as of the last couple of weeks), Ilya knows even his boring husband and his boring husband’s loser best friend can’t ruin this perfect day.

    Because today, Ilya’s becoming a godfather.

    Language:
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    10 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    07 Mar 2026

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    Stuck in an alt-world where he and Shane never hooked up as teenagers, Ilya is determined to get Shane back. To do that, Ilya has to figure out a way to get Shane to see him as anyone other than the Russian asshole who has spent a decade pissing him off. It can't be that hard to make your husband fall in love with you... right?

    Basically: Shane Hollander makes a wish with good intentions. Ilya Rozanov wakes up confused, single, closeted, and miserable in Boston.

    +Bonus Chapter where AltWorld!Ilya wakes up confused, married, out, and carefree in Ottawa

    Language:
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    54,132
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    26 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Mm, not stuff his pockets with the drug everyone thinks makes you gay right before a press conference? Maybe!” Ilya’s voice chimed happily from the phone.

    “You wanna tell us why you’re so acquainted with Rush that you can identify it in 780p, Ilya?” Kip asked.

    “…I have so much leather to deodorize, Kip Grady. So many sports cars, you know.”

    --

    Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions.

    Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.

    Language:
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    19,910
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    24 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    any heated rivalry stuff i write goes here i guess. i might have made them all a little too silly but im having a great time.

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    302

    21 Feb 2026