Obvious_Eponym_Placeholder
Fandoms
- The Owl House (Cartoon) (3)
- Gravity Falls (1)
Recent works
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Not In The Cards by Obvious_Eponym_Placeholder
Fandoms: The Owl House (Cartoon), Gravity Falls
04 Mar 2026
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Summary
Edalyn Clawthorne, alias Marilyn Rosenstein, is a witch from another world who finds herself needing to spend a few weeks on Earth. It always helps to disappear for a while after pulling off something big, and it wouldn't hurt to use the time to explore a little bit, would it? It's not like humans know anything about magic.
Stanley Pines, aliases ad infinitum, is a man who deals in lies of every description, and he's been telling one lie to pay for all the rest for twenty years and counting. This week, though? He's on vacation to a glorious city where other people's money can be his for free, completely legally! Mostly because the state of Nevada doesn't have any laws about using cursed amulets to cheat at poker. It's not like anyone would be able to tell.
Alone and adrift in the world, two legendary con artists arrive in Sin City, and instead of passing like ships in the night, they collide like oil tankers with their navigational lights off in a busy shipping channel. It's going to be an interesting weekend.
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Summary
Jacob Hopkins knows The Truth: Witches and demons are real, and they're sent from Mars to steal teeth to power their time machine. He isn't sure why they're invading Connecticut, but he is determined to find out, stop them, and be hailed as the savior of humanity (and possibly get his ban from Robin's Roast lifted). This plan does not survive contact with the enemy.
Faced with the horrors of the partially known, Jacob is forced to reevaluate all of his research. How much was he wrong about? Can he stop the shapeshifter before it hurts anyone else? What do the Martians really want? Is he going to go to jail again? He doesn't know, but he's sure as hell going to find out. Gravesfield's mightiest hero will not be deterred by any obstacle, be it social, financial, or legal, in his quest to protect the Earth from tooth-stealing alien infiltrators. Armed with esoteric knowledge and the finest weapons a man no longer allowed to purchase firearms can buy, nothing can stand in his way!
Especially not three teenagers with a deep distrust of authority and an interest in local history who are worried for/suspicious about their friend. That would be silly.
Series
- Part 2 of Scales and Feathers
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Summary
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
At 2:04 AM, Warden Wrath requested assistance from the castle in containing a prison riot, using a code that indicated that the unrest originated in the maximum security sector. As of this announcement, casualties among the garrison are still being determined, but the number is likely to be high. The Emperor has devoted his personal attention to the matter, and the issue is well in hand. Further details will remain classified. If you are receiving this message, you are to report for an in-person briefing upon His Imperial Majesty's return from the Conformatorium. You will be subjected to a full screening upon your arrival.
Information security is critical at this time. An approved version of events is being prepared for issue through official channels, and there will be a press conference later today. Be advised that anyone found to be spreading rumors to the effect that the Emperor's Coven was or is concealing the operation of an experimental biothaumatics lab from the public will, regardless of rank or station, be charged with seditious libel and imprisoned under the provisions of the Imperial Security Decree.
Stand by for further messages.
Series
- Part 1 of Scales and Feathers
Recent series
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Summary
Basilisk tales in the timeline of Search Party.
- Words:
- 112,659
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 4