SnitchAndSnark
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NOW COMPLETE!
Hermione was just trying to have a normal Tuesday: feed her overly dramatic cat, open a definitely-dangerous ancient armoire, ignore Cormac McLaggen until he wanders off to do whatever it is useless men do.Instead, she got: A surprise heist, four suspiciously well-coordinated intruders in designer cloaks, one ancient book radiating “murder me” vibes and a front-row seat to what can only be described as a magical boyband breakup under extreme stress.
Inside the warehouse: Chaos, spells, and a near-bludgeoning featuring one decorative bust. Outside the warehouse: Harry Potter with 36 Aurors, a plan held together with sellotape and rage, and Ron Weasley seconds from committing murder on live Prophet coverage.
It’s like Ocean’s Eleven had a baby with Die Hard and gave it a wand, a trauma bond, and a lot of feelings no one is emotionally equipped to handle. The intruders say they want the cursed object. Hermione suspects what they really need is group therapy, juice boxes, and a very long nap.
The Vault is: 50% tension 30% sarcasm 20% bad decisions and 100% one Gryffindor witch with a coin-based panic button saving her own damn life while the wizards argue about tactical logistics.
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Of Granger, Malfoy and Nott: Return to Hamunaptra by LyraMBlack
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Feb 2026
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Step One: Don’t break the oath that says never to return.
Step Two: Pretend the past belongs in the past.
Step Three: Try not to unleash a god of chaos.When Scorpius disappears in Marrakesh, the past refuses to stay buried.
A new cult is rising and the desert is calling them home, to Hamunaptra, and everything they swore they’d never face again.What could possibly go wrong?
(Everything. Again.)Starring:
Theo: can’t decide if he wants to strangle or kiss the woman who broke his heart.
Layla: would rather die than admit she still has feelings for the man who let her go.
Draco: accidentally the romantic lead.
Hermione: just wanted a quiet life, got another apocalypse instead.
Scorpius: finally living the adventure he always wanted and driving his parents crazy.Series
- Part 2 of The Tomb Raiding Chronicles
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,085
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 205
- Kudos:
- 297
- Bookmarks:
- 237
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Bookmarked by SnitchAndSnark
19 Jan 2026
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Lucius is fresh out of being in Askaban for 6 months. All charges dropped. He feels as though he doesn't deserve Narcissa, but she's here to prove him wrong. But what will it take for him to realise that he's gone too far with pushing his wife away, and what may the consequences of that be? Draco and Lucius are working out their relationship, while Draco may be forming another sneaky relationship on the side with a certain mousy brown haired witch.
Series
- Part 1 of In the Wake Of Violence
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Hermione and Draco are working on the Hinkypunk Music Festival. Draco has been an infuriatingly charming friend to Hermione...except for the fact that he's been pining for her for years. The problem is, she happens to be in a relationship with Cormac McLaggen. As the festival draws near, long nights turn into stolen moments and Draco has to find a way to show Hermione that her soulmate has been right in front of her all along.
Bookmarked by SnitchAndSnark
18 Jan 2026
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The Slytherins drag a heartbroken Hermione to an impromptu party in their shared eighth-year common room after Ron ends the relationship by Owl. The scheming snakes are determined to make her laugh again after the months she spent moping.
And Draco Malfoy learns there's nothing he won't do to cheer the Golden Girl up, including making a fool of himself.
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Or, Theo takes a leaf out of Will Greyson's (The Devil's Night series) book and dances on top of a table while singing My Prerogative, then forces a somewhat reluctant blond to participate, half-naked.
Bookmarked by SnitchAndSnark
18 Jan 2026