ToastyCrumbs
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Summary
ret·ro·grade ˈre-trə-ˌgrād
- being in motion in a direction contrary to that of the general motion of similar bodies
- affecting memories of a period prior to a precipitating event (such as brain injury or disease)
- to go back
After an accident leaves Eddie with amnesia, Buck takes him home to recover, and in the absence of his memories, Eddie reveals parts of himself he’s kept hidden for years.
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- English
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Bookmarked by ToastyCrumbs
15 Feb 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
but only the first scene
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Eddie listens to the voicemail later. Buck sounds like he’s at a grocery store, absentmindedly talking into the phone. “Oh, I guess you’re with your sisters. Sorry to miss you. I just wanted to tell you about this call we had last night, but I gotta hear your reactions, so, later. Okay, uh, I guess I’ll just call back. Or text.”
It ends abruptly, without a goodbye. Eddie replays it a second time, closes his eyes as he sits in the truck. For a moment, he can pretend Buck is sitting in the passenger seat next to him. For a moment, Eddie is back in Los Angeles and his best friend is dragging him through the grocery store.
The voicemail ends, Eddie opens his eyes, and the fantasy breaks. Eddie is still in El Paso, parked in front of the house he’s renting, and there’s no one in the passenger seat with him.
Eddie moves to Texas. Buck moves into his house. There's a love story somewhere in here.
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I had a backbone made of glass (and then it broke) by paperless_paperweight
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
19 Sep 2025
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Eddie replies: Cool. Thanks. It takes three tries to hit send, his fingers too tight on the phone.
Then turns off his phone like it’s radioactive. Like it might detonate from how hard his pulse is thudding in his fingertips. Tommy and Buck had hooked up again. Might be dating. Again. His grip on the beer bottle goes white-knuckled in an instant at his next thought.
Did they fuck in his bed?
The thought feels like a fist to the sternum. His jaw clenches so hard his teeth ache.
Story is finished. +/- 10K words per chapter
Updates depending on how fast I can spell-check myself -
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“The name. Firehose.” Eddie’s eyes flicked down to the orange in his hands as he started on the next slice. “You said it had more to do with something else.”
“Oh! Right—well…” Buck laughed, a little awkward, rubbing the back of his neck and wringing his hands like he was debating whether or not he should answer. “I guess my question would be… do you know what hyperspermia is?”
Eddie froze mid-chew, then bit down—hard—on a slice of orange. The juice hit the back of his throat and sent him into a coughing fit.
Or; Eddie finds out Buck has hyperspermia and is totally normal and sane about it.
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Eddie has been on his knees before.
Eddie spent every Sunday of his childhood for years praying to a God that he did not understand. He knows the ache of prayer, the feeling of wood against his knees, he knows what it is to worship under watching eyes.
Now, at thirty-four, he’s on his knees again. This time, on the hardwood floor of his own living room. The timber here is more forgiving than the pews of his youth.
The watching eyes this time are Buck, heavy-lidded and leaning back, looking down at him.
OR
Eddie sucks Buck's dick for the first time. It's a religious experience if nothing else.