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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    ...is worth two in the tavern?

    In which Geralt finds himself with a lap full of bard, and isn't entirely sure what to do about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,248
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    129
    Kudos:
    3,415
    Bookmarks:
    548
    Hits:
    15,516

    14 Nov 2024

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    This is the Accidental Warlord and His Pack series, reorganized in an order that makes a little more sense. It's not precisely chronological, since some of the backstories are set well before With a Conquering Air, but it should flow nicely.

    If you're interested in talking about this series, please come join the Discord server!

    Words:
    674,786
    Works:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    2,189

    14 Nov 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    286,593
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    589

    05 Nov 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    After his heroic sacrifice on behalf of the dwarves of Erebor, Bilbo will be well cared for. Naturally, he hates the idea. Crossing half the world, riding barrels, and fighting spiders was supposed to change things. No one should need to carry him anymore. Thorin understands such pride better than most, but he will stop at nothing to have the hobbit safe in his arms.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,182
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    1,081
    Kudos:
    5,323
    Bookmarks:
    1,581
    Hits:
    72,103

    02 Nov 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    In the course of her adventures, Bilbo finds herself pregnant. Without an offer of marriage from Thorin, she returns to the Shire to raise the child with the help of her family.

    The King Under the Mountain is heartbroken that Bilbo chooses to leave Erebor, but he cannot blame her. Not after he tried to kill her. There was a time when she would have proposed marriage, but that time is clearly past. If all he can have of her are her letters, then he will be grateful for the missives.

    Getting these two to talk just might take divine intervention. Or the intervention of a particularly interested child.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,031
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    1,624
    Kudos:
    5,109
    Bookmarks:
    1,688
    Hits:
    105,656

    02 Nov 2024

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Gimli, freshly-wakened, was lying with his head propped on one hand, his blanket at his waist. And he said, his voice morning-hoarse, "If my memory doesn't fail me, we'll be reaching the River Limlight soon. I'd dearly love a wash."

    Legolas's heart seized and tightened. The Limlight was in the very north of the forest, and once across it, they would emerge from their easy wandering, cracking out of the chrysalis to the pain of the open air. No more Fangorn, no more careless peace, no more Gimli at dawn stretching his muscles limber and grumbling about the wear of a bootsole.

    And all the future losses lined themselves up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,653
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    1,294
    Bookmarks:
    329
    Hits:
    11,447

    23 Oct 2024

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In the end, Gimli thinks, Legolas will steal his heart and sail away with it, and even the wonders of the Glittering Caves are not enough consolation for that loss. But when Aragorn calls for Gimli’s help in dismantling the hidden traps of Orthanc, everything changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,937
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    453
    Kudos:
    6,968
    Bookmarks:
    1,886
    Hits:
    82,335

    23 Oct 2024

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Dwarves have a religion - and Hobbits don’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,344
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    183
    Kudos:
    5,231
    Bookmarks:
    1,528
    Hits:
    38,292

    17 Oct 2024

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    After years of traveling to Erebor to celebrate the New Year with his dwarven friends, Bilbo Baggins decides that the time has come to stay in the Shire. He has certain familial obligations that have gone unaddressed for too long. Specifically, an orphaned nephew who needs him. Much as he will miss the Durin's Day celebrations, and a certain dwarf in particular, his travels must end. Fortunately, that does not preclude others from traveling to visit him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,903
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    172
    Kudos:
    2,996
    Bookmarks:
    730
    Hits:
    23,831

    17 Oct 2024

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins has a brother. Worried about gossiping neighbors, his parents are very careful to hide Kili's nature. Long used to hiding his own nature, Bilbo accepts the same responsibility for his brother as he grows up. But hiding anything becomes impossible when dwarves come to the Shire.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    211,284
    Chapters:
    71/71
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    2,320
    Kudos:
    3,111
    Bookmarks:
    887
    Hits:
    74,654

    17 Oct 2024

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    89,912
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Collections:
    40
    Comments:
    4,541
    Kudos:
    14,252
    Bookmarks:
    4,059
    Hits:
    335,185

    15 Oct 2024

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host."
    And I think that's beautiful.
    ~
    Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death.
    ~
    Actions speak so much louder than words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,654
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    724
    Kudos:
    4,926
    Bookmarks:
    1,957
    Hits:
    92,796

    14 Oct 2024

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Bilbo and Dwalin have two things in common: an appreciation for good meals and a case of unrequited love for a certain oblivious king. The only sensible thing to do is form a supper club.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,460
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    184
    Kudos:
    3,696
    Bookmarks:
    810
    Hits:
    32,113

    14 Oct 2024

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "You’re panicking because you like being comfortable and he’s shaking up the status quo. You’re a little barnacle latching onto whatever surface will tolerate you, even if it’s not the best place for you. All he’s doing is showing you another surface, maybe one that you’ll like better than the one you’re on.”

    He nods and nods again, then takes a deep breath and asks, “Did you just call me a little barnacle?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,293
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    845
    Bookmarks:
    105
    Hits:
    4,215

    12 Sep 2024

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    He sighs from where he’s prone, arms akimbo, and roof gravel digging into his spine. “I lost my job. My… other job. The one that actually pays the bills.”

    He doesn’t want to dwell on why he’s telling Deadpool of all people. Surely it has nothing to do with his desperate lack of friends. MJ is in California chasing her dreams, Harry’s undergoing treatment for his mental health and isn’t allowed visitors (not that it matters since they blacklisted Peter after last time), and Gwen… Well.

    And it’s not like he can talk to Aunt May without her worrying about him starving to death under a bridge or something so… Deadpool it is. Man, when did his life get this pathetic?

    OR: The one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,376
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    21
    Comments:
    946
    Kudos:
    13,878
    Bookmarks:
    3,891
    Hits:
    157,163

    12 Sep 2024

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    279,906
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    311

    25 Aug 2024

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s funny how life throws you curveballs like that- one minute, you’re stapling a wig to your head and selling tired couples minivans to haul their kids, begging for a chance at Stark tower, and the next, you’re working side by side with the one guy you’ve been desperate to get your hands on for what seems like your whole life.

     

     

    Wade goes on a world-saving journey, gets fucked by the "worst" Wolverine, saves the universe, and gets to bring home what one might call his dream man. Things get out of hand from there- and it's never worked out better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,807
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    1,192
    Bookmarks:
    211
    Hits:
    9,111

    17 Aug 2024

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Blitzo could totally handle completely transactional, utterly obligatory monthly sex with Stolas, but he doesn't know if he should actually enjoy it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,877
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    1,134
    Bookmarks:
    236
    Hits:
    13,177

    08 Aug 2024

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In which NCR Ranger Karkat Vantas meets a pair of sibling con-artists in the Mojave Wasteland. Good men are in short supply this far east.

    (A purely self-indulgent Fallout AU I have been thinking about for literally months. I wrote this for me but you can read it too if you'd like.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,572
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    164
    Kudos:
    631
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    7,825

    15 Jul 2024

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Karkat Vantas has escaped Alternia, and landed himself in a brand new problem. To pay his way to Earth, he takes a contract with the Undying Umbra as an assassin and wetwork generalist.

    With a pricetag assigned to his life, Karkat assumes he just has to work his way out. Day by day, job by job, he's going to claw his way out from Under The Table.

    Then: He meets his handler, Dave Strider.

    And things get complicated. Like, really fucking complicated.

    NOW COMPLETE!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    252,409
    Chapters:
    33/33
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    1,734
    Kudos:
    1,723
    Bookmarks:
    445
    Hits:
    70,524

    15 Jul 2024

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