YassGurl



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    “No. Wait. You're Hayden’s college roommate. You're Elian." Shane replied, more of a statement than a question, because he would be so fucked if it turned out that the other man wasn't Elian.

    “Who the fuck is Hayden?" The man—apparently Ilya—asked.

    Shane looked at the him and shook his head. No. No. This must be another one of Hayden's pranks.

    or: shane accidentally 'kidnaps' mafia boss ilya. chaos ensues.

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    09 Mar 2026

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    Ilya shook his head, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye when he finally stopped laughing. “I am not going to hurt you, Hayden. I am very tempted to use this situation against you because it is funny, yes, but Shane would kill me.”

    Hayden swore that he had somehow heard it wrong.

    Shane would kill Ilya? In what universe would Shane Hollander—the same Shane Hollander who nagged at Hayden to stop killing the bugs he found in his house and set them free instead—do any damage to a literal mafia boss? To Ilya Rozanov?

    or: 2 times people were surprised to see shane walking the mafia boss ilya rozanov like a dog, and the 1 time someone knew all along.

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    09 Mar 2026

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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

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    09 Mar 2026

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    "Now, now," Ilya calls to the room, walking in from the shower, hair still dripping wet. Shane can see the dark spots from where the droplets landed on his shirt. The idiot hasn't even dried off completely, the wet of his body making his shirt stick. He wants to take a towel and smother him. "Do not stress Hollander out. Is bad for baby."

    Luca makes a confused sound from where he's lacing up his sneakers. The angel that he is, he spares Shane the irritation of not joining whatever nonsense the rest of the guys are cooking up. "Huh? What baby?"

    "Him," he goes to his cubby, starts messing around with his bag, his back to the room. "Hollander is baby."

    "Rozanov." Shane is at the end of his rope. This entire team can burn to the ground for all he cares.

    5 times Shane obliviously sits through Ilya’s affection + 1 time he realizes it

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    08 Mar 2026

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    “I don’t think is what you want,” Ilya tells him, tone knowing and a little mean, like he holds all of the answers which, when it comes to Shane, he has a great many of them. “I think you want me to make you shut up, hm?”

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    08 Mar 2026