amisguidedpoet
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“But tell me something,” Eddie pressed, cutting straight through. “Is there anything I can do to get one minute of honesty before you put up another wall and walk away?”
“You want to talk? Then start with the fact that you got involved with someone right after breaking up with me over the phone.”
Eddie’s expression tightened. “Luke showed up a year later, Buck. A year after I kept trying to talk to someone who wouldn’t say anything back.”
Buck let out a rough laugh. “So now it’s my fault.”
“In part, yeah.” The sincerity came without decoration. No irony. “But don’t worry, it didn’t work out. And honestly, it was never about him.”
Buck was ready to shut the conversation down, but something in Eddie’s tone held him in place, listening, even if he hated that he was. Eddie went on, quieter:
“There’s still turmeric, dill… those weird herbs you got me into. They’re all still there.” He took a slow breath. “I still buy the same beer you liked. And I painted the living room the color you picked. Blue Haze. Remember?”
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Eddie and Buck broke up seven years ago, and yet this year, they found themselves standing in the same kitchen on Christmas.
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The future always watches. He knew that, even if he didn’t fully understand. What he didn’t know was that in less than twenty-four hours, Eddie would no longer be just “the probie.” That in a few weeks, he would cross barriers Buck hadn’t realized existed within himself and become his best friend. And in a year or two, Eddie would become his entire world.
He also didn’t know that the end was already waiting. A shooter, a fraction of a second, and the silence left behind when the love of your life is taken from you.
At that moment, Buck had no idea what it would mean to love someone like that and then lose them. If he had, maybe he would have taken a better look at the recruit, followed Bobby faster, said something that could have stopped time.
“I never told him I loved him.”
The words echoed somewhere between dream and memory.
“I should have told him I loved him.”
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Buck uses music to travel back in time and change every moment he missed to show Eddie he loved him.
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“No matter how much I wish my fucking handwriting were marked on your skin. I’m not the one.”
Four words, and Henry heard the dull impact before he even understood the blow. Like missing a step on the stairs, like a door slamming shut right in front of him.
Alex’s eyes didn’t meet his immediately. They darted away, restless, like a trapped bird in a house full of closed windows.
But that “no” was there, etched into every line of his face, twisting something in Henry’s stomach.
“You said it yourself… you said it doesn’t matter. That no one really knows where these marks come from or what they mean, right? I… I don’t give a damn if it never appears, Alex. I love you. Isn’t that enough?”
For a fraction of a second — so brief it would’ve gone unnoticed if Henry weren’t watching so closely, if he weren’t literally holding Alex’s arms — Alex hesitated. It passed so quickly it wouldn’t leave a mark, except Henry saw it. Felt it.
“But what happens in a year? Or two? When you wake up and realize you want something else? That you want the whole package?”
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In a future where soulmates are real, Alex and Henry are polar opposites. Until fate happens.
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He sighed, stepping out of the shower, cloaked in steam and useless thoughts. Eddie’s absence was everywhere: in the carpet, in the walls, in the dishes they’d both put away last Tuesday like it was nothing. Buck had adjusted to Eddie being back too easily, and now he wondered if that ease was part of the problem. If he’d leaned too hard on him, without offering anything in return.
He lay down. Sleep didn’t come.
Instead, he stared at the ceiling, as if it held some hidden answer in its blank white stare. He replayed the moment again and again, crafting apologies in his head — real ones. Vulnerable ones. Apologies that said: This isn’t just about my pain. I see yours too. That Eddie wasn’t just a salve. He was whole and hurting and needed space to be both.
And then, he heard the front door opening, quiet and cautious. Then, silence.
Eddie was back.
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Eddie comes back after their fight in the kitchen.
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An incomplete list of Alex's terrible decisions by amisguidedpoet
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
27 Jan 2025
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“I love you,” he said again, with the ruthlessness of someone driving the blade deeper a second time, ensuring the wound wouldn’t close. “I know it’s madness, and I know it’s absurd. But I can’t do it anymore. Pretend. Not feel.”
I took a step forward, a minimal movement, weighed down by the infuriating caution of someone trapped between two equally wrong choices.
I wanted him to take it back, to say it was a provocation, a bad joke, or even a slip. Anything but… the truth.
Part of me already knew the undeniable weight of his confession.
Part of me knew exactly what to do with it, if I were someone else.
“You can’t do this to me,” I blurted out instead. “How am I supposed to walk down that aisle now? To go through with this wedding, knowing that…”
Knowing that I could have it all?
But what do you do when ‘everything’ is the cruelest uncertainty in the world, while ‘not everything’ remains so familiar, so steady?
The discomfort of stability was, at least, predictable.
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This is Alex's point of view of the story “Matter of timing”.
Series
- Part 2 of Matter of timing
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"You look exactly the same," Eddie says with tears in his eyes. "How is that even possible?"
"I don't know," Buck says, his thumb swiping across Eddie's knuckles. "I don't understand it."
He may be the same, but looking at Eddie, Buck can see the years on him. His hair is a bit different, the creases by the corners of his eyes just a bit deeper. There's a new scar on his right hand that Buck hasn't seen before.He'd know these hands blind, but it takes him a moment to notice it still. His fingers brush over it once, and then again before he actually looks down and sees the thin golden band wrapped around Eddie's ring finger. Then he just—stares at it, stupidly, for a second. Before Eddie pulls his hands back, and leaves Buck's hanging empty in the space between them.
"You're married," he says.
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Bookmarked by amisguidedpoet
09 Dec 2025
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The end of the last of a long run of shifts. A beautiful Friday morning. A box of assorted granola bars.
These are the things that, unbeknownst to him, would come together to change Evan Buckley’s life. These things and, of course, Eddie Diaz.
Bookmarked by amisguidedpoet
01 Dec 2025
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Buck looks around one last time, an old habit, even if they’re alone. Buck nods, and Eddie takes it as a confirmation that it’s all clear. Eddie presses backwards towards the shower. Buck shoves him against the shower stall door and meets his mouth with a kiss that’s rough and desperate. Buck can feel the urgency and the hunger.
Buck breathes into the kiss, hand threading into Eddie’s hair, tilting his head back ever so slightly to expose his neck. He plants a wet his on his pulse and hums loudly. “You really should work through your stuff more often,” he mutters against Eddie’s neck. He pulls back and looks into Eddie’s eyes. “You’re gonna get us caught.”
“Then stop picking up extra shifts,” Eddie demands. He pushes Buck to the other side of the stall.
Bookmarked by amisguidedpoet
28 Nov 2025
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A white Christmas falls upon a chance to repair Frank and Gerard's fractured romance that never faded into a mere thing of the past.
Bookmarked by amisguidedpoet
19 Jun 2025
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forever winter (forever yours) by rizcriz
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
27 Aug 2024
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He opens Chrome, and googles Alex Claremont-Diaz.
Award winning photographer, Alex Claremont-Diaz.
Soon to be coworker, Alex Claremont-Diaz.
Ex-fucking-fiance, Alex Claremont-Diaz.
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the (angsty) hallmark christmas au nobody asked for
***Abandoned***
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- English
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Bookmarked by amisguidedpoet
21 Aug 2024