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    “We had a wedding this weekend, Miss Emma! With Uncle Shane,” Ruby Pike announces during Monday morning circle time. Miss Emma nods and tries to play it cool. It was exciting when the Pike twins mentioned Uncle Shane. Like he was just their dad’s totally normal BFF instead of the greatest hockey player Canada had seen in two decades. But she wasn’t going to fangirl in front of the kids.

    “Well, it was a pretend wedding—” Ruby starts to clarify, but then Jade Pike interrupts her.

    “Uncle Ilya said if you do the rings it’s a real wedding.”

    Miss Emma’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline. Uncle…Ilya? As in…

    “Uncle Ilya said the rings and kiss made it real so we should tell Daddy to get him and Uncle Shane a very, VERY expensive gift,” Jade continues.

    There’s that name again. Uncle Ilya. In the same breath as Uncle Shane. With the word kiss. That couldn’t be right…

    Or: Five times someone unexpected keeps Shane and Ilya’s secret, and one time they don’t have to. Featuring the Pike twins, Zane Boodram’s pregnant wife, Ilya’s neighbors, and more.

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    13 Mar 2026

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    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

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    12 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane freezes.
    It hits him all at once; how exposed he is, how alone. On the ice he’s done it a hundred times, likely more. It’s expected of him, Applauded. His arms feel heavy at his sides, fingers numb, like they don’t belong to him, and he doesn’t understand why. The man infront of him is swaying so hard a stiff breeze could knock him over, so why? Why is Shane so scared? Why is he so-?
    The stranger must see it. Whatever bravado the man walked out with curdles into something mean when he realizes Shane isn’t going to swing back. Fear is blood in the water. Shane's thoughts are scattered, looping: he’s so far from home. He’s alone. So far from home. Don’t get hit. Don’t get hit.
    The man draws his fist back. No penalty.

    ~

    Shane gets into an altercation outside a bar after a visiting win. Ilya intervenes. Neither of them are happy about it.

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    12 Mar 2026

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    The lights are dimmed. A slow, sultry song murmurs through the speakers in hushed Russian whispers. Svetlana is wearing Ilya’s jersey, long and familiar and intimate, and Shane can’t help the way his brain fills in the blanks—how easily it would slide over bare skin.

    It’s clear why she’s here.

    Worse, he knows exactly who she is.

    A name that has come up before, casually, historically. A long-time hookup. A woman Ilya could date publicly if he wanted to. Someone simple. Easy. Soft.

    Nothing like Shane.

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    12 Mar 2026

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    “You liked that didn’t you?” Shane said with a smug little expression on his face.

    Really too many people called Ilya an asshole when Shane was just as bad, or worse. Shane just hid it better, because Canada’s perfect golden boy could do no wrong.

    Ilya moved to cross his arms over his chest and lean back against the headboard, hating how it put even more space between them, but not being able to let Shane think he was right.

    “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

    “Sure you don't, baby.”

    Ilya was definitely not starting to turn the slightest shade of red.
    -------
    Or: Ilya Rozanov learns he is in fact, Shane Hollander's baby.

    Language:
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    12 Mar 2026