1 - 20 of 46 Bookmarks by nevertoosweets
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“I can pretend I’m your girlfriend if you teach me how to have sexy sex," Rey said as quickly as she could to just get it over with.
“Wait…” Ben shook his head. “What? Sexy sex?”
//
Or: Rey, a heartbroken, wannabe sex joke comedian, gets dumped because she's "bad in bed."
Porn producer and sex expert, Ben, needs a fake girlfriend for "business reasons."
An agreement between friends can't go wrong, right?
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Or: How Ben didn't really have to teach Rey how to give good sex, but how to receive good sex. And how Rey pretended to be his girlfriend only to find out that she really wanted to be his girlfriend.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 220,010
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Comments:
- 2,329
- Kudos:
- 2,004
- Bookmarks:
- 527
- Hits:
- 112,019
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
28 Dec 2023
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For Sale by Owner: Rose Weasley-Granger's Virginity by Vukovich for LilithShade
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
20 Mar 2022
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Summary
Problem:
I'm a twenty-four year-old academic prodigy, but I'd trade my diplomas for a good, hard fuck. Since that's not a real thing I can do, I guess I'll pack up my dildo collection and go to the States for this doctoral program. If I can raise the money for tuition.Solution:
Virginity: the original NFT. Non-Fuckable Token.
Assuming someone will pay for it.Spoiler:
Someone does. Handsomely. And repeatedly. And then I stole his cat.--
“It was that good?” Albus is close to squealing with excitement.
I take a deep breath. “Promise you won’t tell?”
“Cross my heart.”
He settles in to wait for the story of how I, Rosalind Jean Weasley-Granger sold my virginity for a small kingdom.
I take a deep breath and prepare to weave a filthy tale.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,761
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 178
- Kudos:
- 979
- Bookmarks:
- 259
- Hits:
- 17,213
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
14 Jun 2023
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It's lonely between missions. With his cover blown and his mother gone all he has are safe houses. But never for very long. On a rainy night, wet and weary, he needs something — or someone — to heal him. Inside and out. So he goes to the only place he wants to be.
Part I of the Tender Remedies series
Series
- Part 1 of Tender Remedies
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,469
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 1,017
- Bookmarks:
- 206
- Hits:
- 23,002
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
12 Oct 2022
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Hermione is familiar with fighting: for respect, for attention, for justice. She’s even made a career of it; working on behalf of creatures and beings. But her battle against the Ministry’s marriage law is one she loses. Badly. And now, she has to contend with not only public derision and patriarchal politics, but her growing feelings for her government-mandated spouse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 67,209
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 2,828
- Kudos:
- 15,777
- Bookmarks:
- 5,188
- Hits:
- 563,219
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
12 Oct 2022
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The fate of the realm hangs in the balance as King Draco battles for dominion over the Sacred Kingdoms with his new Queen, Lady Hermione, at his side. Forced to set aside her idealistic beliefs, she must embrace a reality where order and chaos reign in equal measure.
Hermione craves peace, yet she is destined for war.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 141,676
- Chapters:
- 24/28
- Comments:
- 2,573
- Kudos:
- 6,716
- Bookmarks:
- 2,207
- Hits:
- 424,392
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
12 Oct 2022
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Post-War. For five years, Teddy Lupin has been missing. When he returns to Britain at age eleven to attend Hogwarts, Hermione is left wondering about the mysterious relative who raised him.
*On hiatus, not abandoned*
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,374
- Chapters:
- 5/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 91
- Kudos:
- 161
- Bookmarks:
- 62
- Hits:
- 3,783
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
04 Oct 2022
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A Marriage of Inconvenience by Celia_and for LadyReylo
Fandoms: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types
03 Oct 2025
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Summary
“This country is absolute trash, and I still want to stay here. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
He looks at her curiously, like there’s a field on a form in her file that he doesn’t have the answer to. “Why do you want to stay?” He asks it simply, quietly.
She regrets later giving him so much truth, when Finn is driving her home and the car window is smudged with tears. But she looks at him and she says it, and she can’t take it back.
“This is the only place where anyone’s loved me.”
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Rey and Finn’s application for a green card marriage would be airtight—if only her one-night stand the night before hadn’t been with her immigration officer.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,412
- Chapters:
- 19/22
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,273
- Kudos:
- 3,431
- Bookmarks:
- 807
- Hits:
- 90,738
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
02 Oct 2022
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They Don't Have A Word For What We Are by andabatae
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars, The Last Jedi
21 May 2019
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Summary
After Crait, Rey retreats to Jakku to grapple with her past... and her unwelcome attraction to Kylo Ren.
--
Kylo Ren was a monster. A murderer. So why couldn’t she stop thinking about him?
Rey was already a bad Jedi, so in the dark of the AT-AT that had sheltered her during her vulnerable years, she gave in to the allure of the fantasy. Kylo Ren’s tall frame and big hands, his dark hair and hungry eyes. His desperation as he’d said “Please.” The sheer size of him, combined with the peek at his vulnerabilities she’d gotten from this strange, antagonistic Force bond.
As if she’d summoned him, his consciousness brushed against her own, dark and tempting.
You hate me, he said in her mind.
There wasn’t a word to encompass how she felt about him. Yes, she agreed, ignoring the twinge of guilt.
Series
- Part 1 of Canonverse Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 183,096
- Chapters:
- 69/69
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 2,125
- Kudos:
- 3,435
- Bookmarks:
- 1,221
- Hits:
- 151,545
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
03 Apr 2022
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 207
- Comments:
- 13,231
- Kudos:
- 97,413
- Bookmarks:
- 30,331
- Hits:
- 5,275,313
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
08 Mar 2022
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Summary
After the war, Draco Malfoy seeks refuge from infamy in the Muggle world. A friendly Muggle couple takes him under their wing, but there’s a problem: they are intent on setting him up with their best friend, Hermione Granger.
Or, in which the Muggle friends Hermione Granger undoubtedly would have had will not take no for an answer.
Series
- Part 1 of The Meet Your Match Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,611
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Collections:
- 58
- Comments:
- 2,709
- Kudos:
- 21,094
- Bookmarks:
- 8,799
- Hits:
- 1,100,045
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
07 Mar 2022
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Theo’s request for assistance with a cursed heirloom bounces from the Cursed Artefacts Office to Magical Law Enforcement.
Because the Ministry employs exactly one Auror fluent in Parseltongue.
And now Harry Potter is standing in Theo’s study, speaking harsh sounds at a jewelry box encrusted with emerald serpents.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,950
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 2,905
- Bookmarks:
- 427
- Hits:
- 25,726
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
11 Jan 2022
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Movements, Contrived and Improvised by HeyJude19 for MrsButlertron
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Dec 2021
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Draco and his mother had behaved like upstanding citizens for years, donated thousands of Galleons, yet apparently it only took a bit of romantic fluff with Granger and he could consider himself fully redeemed.
A bar so low he’d barely need to raise his feet to clear it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,395
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 29
- Comments:
- 555
- Kudos:
- 10,039
- Bookmarks:
- 2,440
- Hits:
- 145,006
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
31 Dec 2021
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Summary
While ferrying a message for the Order of the Phoenix, Hermione Granger is caught by jaded Death Eater, Draco Malfoy. Unlikely and unwilling allies, the pair begin a cross-country journey where their survival depends on learning when to stand strong against the elements’ fury, and when it’s acceptable to erode.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,951
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 558
- Kudos:
- 1,593
- Bookmarks:
- 685
- Hits:
- 55,266
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
26 Sep 2021
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Draco Lucius Malfoy. Death Eater. Disposable.
Life on probation at the Ministry meant keeping his head down and his mouth shut. On his first field assignment he’s tasked with investigating an abandoned Death Eater manor hiding more than a few secrets in its walls.
Stuck with the only witch who agreed to work with him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 139,609
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 33
- Comments:
- 1,933
- Kudos:
- 5,740
- Bookmarks:
- 2,933
- Hits:
- 327,363
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
19 Sep 2021
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A friendship between seven-year-olds Rose and Scorpius creates an inlet to redemption for Draco, and the chance at a future he never knew he wanted.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,962
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 250
- Kudos:
- 4,014
- Bookmarks:
- 1,028
- Hits:
- 52,696
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
02 Sep 2021
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Summary
Left by his fiancée a month before the ceremony, Draco never got his dream wedding, so agreeing to assist Granger with her own wedding planning to distract himself from his broken engagement seems like a great idea—though Draco probably shouldn't fall in love with the bride-to-be. Based very (very) loosely on The Wedding Singer.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,228
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 489
- Kudos:
- 2,827
- Bookmarks:
- 762
- Hits:
- 66,137
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
23 Aug 2021
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Rec 13
Mystery Work
Part of topsecret
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
15 Aug 2021
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Summary
Strange things, dreams. How much credence should we give to where our subconscious takes us?
There were many things Draco did not need in his Sixth Year. He did not need Theodore Nott implanting strange dreams in his head, for one.
In the ensuing years, he did not need to constantly remember that blissful, impossible dream. He further did not need Potter bursting into his mostly turned-around life to embroil him in a conspiracy at Azkaban. And he definitely did not need to embark on a clandestine investigation into prisoner mistreatment with Hermione Granger.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,712
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Collections:
- 25
- Comments:
- 2,495
- Kudos:
- 9,169
- Bookmarks:
- 3,527
- Hits:
- 351,845
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
15 Aug 2021
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Summary
Life is closing in on all sides and Draco Malfoy is drowning in expectations. Something has to give. A chance encounter with Hermione Granger infuses his life with something new―but she doesn’t even remember her own name.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 177,855
- Chapters:
- 45/45
- Collections:
- 22
- Comments:
- 2,267
- Kudos:
- 4,957
- Bookmarks:
- 2,066
- Hits:
- 268,929
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
15 Aug 2021
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Summary
Hermione Granger had never anticipated that Draco Malfoy would be her best friend, a decade after the war. She'd also never meant to wind up trapped in a marriage pact, borne of one late night with too much wine. But as his thirtieth birthday draws near, time will either seek to push them together or drive them apart.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,899
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 17
- Comments:
- 749
- Kudos:
- 5,591
- Bookmarks:
- 1,906
- Hits:
- 187,442
Bookmarked by nevertoosweets
13 Jun 2021