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Sometimes, family is two deranged ex-boyfriends and the sentient magical house caught in the middle.
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Ten Feet Apart by orolin for nv-md (ANW815), honeybeet
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Dec 2025
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It was by complete accident, how Harry ended up taking a restraining order out against Malfoy. A distraction, a mix up with some paper work, and before they know it they have to stay ten feet apart from each other at all times—which makes it very difficult to keep up the rivals-with-benefits thing they’ve currently got going on.
So… how many ways can they break a restraining order?
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"Congratulations," Malfoy said, when Harry saw him next. He had to have cut in front of half a dozen disgruntled Ministry employees in the queue to stand behind Harry. "I'm so sorry I missed the wedding. My invite must have gotten lost in the mail."
"Must've," Harry said. "We held up the ceremony for you. Waited for hours, but you didn't show."
Malfoy's voice was light. Cheerful. "You might've rescheduled."
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You're only as old as your minor antagonist makes you feel.
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In the fall of 1998, Harry finds a dollhouse. In the spring of 2018, he finds his home.
- Language:
- English
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- 40,701
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
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- Comments:
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- Kudos:
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- Bookmarks:
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Bookmarked by sardarling
12 Jan 2026
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Pissing someone off is not an accepted love language.
Except, in this case, maybe it is.
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[ART] Welcome to the M.I.L.F Department (A 126-Page Comic) by dustmouth
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Nov 2025
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Draco Malfoy, head of the Ministry's Invisible Lost and Found department, is not having a very good day; he has just received an invitation to his ex-fiance's engagement party, and now Harry Potter is knocking on his door.
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The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls by thecouchsofa
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Sep 2023
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Harry doesn’t know how to cope after the War. The only things that make him feel even remotely normal again are taking risks while flying and fighting with Malfoy. It’s not likely to end well.
Or,
Draco becomes obsessed with ‘Wonderwall’, reads Muggle books, and drives a campervan, while Harry slowly falls in love with Draco. A story about travelling around the British Isles in the late 90s while healing deep scars.
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Potter moved towards him, sticking his hand out. “If that’s the case, we’re both doing it. You do the nude Tornados calendar, and I’ll do the Auror one. Most sales wins.”
Oh no.
“Are you backing out already?” Potter leaned in closer, voice dropping to a whisper. “Finally admitting that mine’s bigger than yours, then? Or do you want to cop a feel first?”
Charities could bugger off. Nothing good ever came of them, really.
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Draco Malfoy: Cockologist by thecouchsofa for unfamiliar_geckos
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Jan 2025
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A tattoo appears on the body of every witch or wizard on their eighteenth birthday, showing the greatest passion of their soulmate.
The spurting cock that spans the left side of Harry’s ribcage is, unfortunately, very real and not a joke.
On the bright side: at least his soulmate probably has a sense of humour.
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Standing there, in the foyer of Draco’s parents’ house, was the most visible display of love that Draco had ever been shown.
Harry loved him. He loved him. And Draco was about to throw him to the wolves.
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Harry’s eyes landed again on the burn mark on Malfoy’s arm, his mouth going dry in response. “I, uh, I have something to ask you.”
“Yes, I gathered that. I also thought that, by your own admission, you were fucking it up, so I’d best leave you to it.”
“It’s … certainly something to do with fucking,” Harry said, rather weakly.
Malfoy’s eyes widened, then quickly narrowed. “Are you trying to solicit me for sex, Potter?”
“Um … I won’t pay you?”
“What the fuck.”Harry decides that it’s high time to lose his virginity, and figures that asking Malfoy is his best option. He’s fit, he won’t go to the papers, and he’ll be fine with Harry’s ‘no emotional attachment’ plan. Surely nothing could go wrong there.
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Ron grabbed Draco’s shoulder and pulled him out of the room. “We’re going to play something. A game.” His eyes were rather maniacal. Draco wanted to ask if he’d gotten into the Mallowsweet, but he could not, for he was very committed to the mime costume and his resulting vow of silence. “You’re going to go into the garden and catch a Snitch.”
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“Malfoy? Blond wanker of epic proportions. Goes around with a sour look on his face all the time. Comes up to about yay high.” Ron held his hand a few inches above the top of Harry’s head. “Ring any bells?”
Harry bent down to tighten the strap on his kneepad. “Still no idea what you’re on about.”
“You…” An odd spluttering noise left Ron’s lips. “You’re taking the piss.”
“Harry,” Ginny shouted from the changeroom door. “Why the fuck is Malfoy wearing your Quidditch jersey?”
Ron made a face that very plainly said ‘there it is’.
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“That’s the first Gryffindor trade secret you’ll get tonight.”
“But,” said Finnigan, grinning from ear to ear, “it won’t be the last. We’ll give you the proper rundown now that you’re one of us.”It was like nails on a chalkboard. The sound of a brand new broom snapping in half. Moaning Myrtle’s undead wail.
One of us.
Good Merlin. He’d stumbled into a nightmare.
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Work Husband by dodgerkedavra for DayDreamingFoxglove
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Sep 2025
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It’s completely normal to kiss your work husband on the mouth at the end of your weekly post-work pub night. Harry hopes so, anyway.
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noble and most ancient by chrysanthemumrising for specklesandflowers
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Sep 2025
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“You must remember that you are from a good family,” Aunt Walburga always said. “Your blood is very pure.” Pure Chinese and pure magic, since the dawn of civilization itself. Some people said black was the color of death, or evil, but black was the color of the rich soil of the Yangtze, the soil out of which the Black family grew and the soil that made them wealthy.
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Against his better judgement, Harry agrees to appear on WENIS – a charity gameshow designed to lead contestants to the deepest desires of their hearts, while also showcasing Wheezes’ new line of adult products.
The aphrodisiac tea quickly gets the better of him.
So does Malfoy.
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Draco folds the panties into a white box with a shiny bow on top. There is no note; Potter knows his owl.
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I Ain't Afraid Of No Bed by xalandrix for chiral_lesbian
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Jul 2025
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Ghostly sexual extortion is simply an occupational hazard in this line of work.