theafterlight



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    “We had a wedding this weekend, Miss Emma! With Uncle Shane,” Ruby Pike announces during Monday morning circle time. Miss Emma nods and tries to play it cool. It was exciting when the Pike twins mentioned Uncle Shane. Like he was just their dad’s totally normal BFF instead of the greatest hockey player Canada had seen in two decades. But she wasn’t going to fangirl in front of the kids.

    “Well, it was a pretend wedding—” Ruby starts to clarify, but then Jade Pike interrupts her.

    “Uncle Ilya said if you do the rings it’s a real wedding.”

    Miss Emma’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline. Uncle…Ilya? As in…

    “Uncle Ilya said the rings and kiss made it real so we should tell Daddy to get him and Uncle Shane a very, VERY expensive gift,” Jade continues.

    There’s that name again. Uncle Ilya. In the same breath as Uncle Shane. With the word kiss. That couldn’t be right…

    Or: Five times someone unexpected keeps Shane and Ilya’s secret, and one time they don’t have to. Featuring the Pike twins, Zane Boodram’s pregnant wife, Ilya’s neighbors, and more.

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    18 Mar 2026

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    It's now or never. It's go time. Or what the fuck ever. Shane spits it out. Maybe it comes out as the measliest attempt at seduction Shane's ever done before, "do you want me to fuck you with my big dick?"

    "Oh," Ilya says. Softly, like he's genuinely shocked now. But also definitely concealing a laugh. "Um. Is that what you want?"

    or, shane is hung but he literally isn't even using all that

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    18 Mar 2026

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    Shane swipes out of a few notifications from the ESPN app, all clickbait about Scott Hunter’s speech at the NHL awards. He can’t deal with those right now, his brain is not online. Then he sees the Snapchat notification, from Ilya.

    Shane puts his phone down and blinks a few times. He picks it up and checks the display again. The notification is still there.

    He hasn’t gotten a Snap from Ilya since the end of the season back in April, after they crashed out of the Frozen Four without making it to the final. Shane saw him a few times after that, at team meetings and at the annual sports awards dinner, but he’s pretty sure Ilya left campus before the end of the semester. Shane wasn’t expecting anything from him until the fall, when he’s back at school.

    He rubs his eyes and rolls onto his side, swiping the app open. It’s a video.

    or, the boys are in college, featuring self discovery, russian diminutives, and (to ilya's chagrin) the scott hunter of it all.

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    18 Mar 2026

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    troybarrett if u can read this im free on thurs @censational · Oct 23, 2022
    Ilya Rozanov getting cancelled for having an Asian fetish was NOT on my 2022 bingo but here we are #ilyarozanovisoverparty

    kari ˚⟡˖ ࣪ @pikesplacee · Oct 23, 2022
    the question of “why shane hollander of all players” finally makes sense now I guess… #ilyarozanovisoverparty

    vi @mooncatvi · Oct 23, 2022
    you mean the hockey player I liked isn't a good person? 🥺 you mean the stripper doesn't love me? 🥺 #ilyarozanovisoverparty

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    17 Mar 2026

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    In 2021, Shane Hollander reveals his relationship with former rival Ilya Rozanov to the shock of chronically online people worldwide, who’ve spent the last decade convincing the world he’s secretly in love with his teammate Hayden Pike

    feng (she/her) @flowerfeng · Apr 3, 2021
    gotta feel bad for shane hollander. like imagine everyone wishing you were in a secret gay relationship. and you gotta spend your career swearing you’re not in a secret gay relationship. but you ARE in a secret gay relationship. just w the wrong guy

    booboo the fool @cinnacin · Apr 4, 2021
    shane hollander w a hand on the bible: no im not in a decade-long secret relationship w fellow hockey player hayden pike
    roger cromwell: ok say it again without the hayden pike part 
    shane hollander: sweats nervously 

    (Or, imagine if #Shayden was the #LarryStylinson of the HR/GC universe)

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    17 Mar 2026