weaponizedkeystrokes
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Fuck, Marry, Kill (or, how Usopp becomes the best matchmaker of the sea without really trying) by adietxt
Fandoms: One Piece
14 Oct 2018
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Summary
Everyone wants to marry Zoro. Hypothetically. Sanji can’t believe everyone would pick that useless patch of growing mold over him, and considers killing Zoro. Not hypothetically.
He has a list on why Zoro would be the Worst Husband Ever, not that he spends a lot of time thinking of a (purely hypothetical!) situation where he is married to Zoro, fuck you very much.
(a.k.a, the one where Usopp invented Fuck, Marry, Kill.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,836
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 298
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Bookmarked by weaponizedkeystrokes
19 Mar 2026
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Sanji’s life is ruined on a Sunday at seven PM when he climbs into the crow's nest and sees Zoro fingerbanging his beloved, perfect, beautiful Nami-san.
Or
Sanji's white knight complex goes a little too far.
Bookmarked by weaponizedkeystrokes
15 Mar 2026
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A tame ‘excerpt’ from Five’s glorious Adore series (linked). All hail Five, group applause for their brain and if you haven’t already (which you will have if you’re here) click that link. If they allow it, I’ll release some more Daddy and Baby.
Bookmarked by weaponizedkeystrokes
12 Mar 2026
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- Words:
- 163,383
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 270
Bookmarked by weaponizedkeystrokes
12 Mar 2026
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Summary
Shared Walls Universe:
The act and its aftermath- Words:
- 8,967
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 29
Bookmarked by weaponizedkeystrokes
12 Mar 2026