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  1. Public Bookmark 82

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    Ilya's stepmother dies during Shane's second year in Ottawa. That's when the nightmares start. And in the nightmares, there's something heavy and tight sitting on his chest. Something cold, something he's felt before. In the nightmares, he's thirteen and shivering and willing himself to fall asleep, to teleport one day further away from everything. He’s thirteen and someone’s lips are wet and cold on the shell of his ear. He’s thirteen and he's completely frozen. Someone’s standing over him and he needs to move, needs to get away, needs to hit and kick and scream, but his pants are coming off and he can’t hit her, can’t kick her, and the scream is dead in his throat. His mother raised him to never hit a woman, and so in his nightmares he closes his eyes, grimaces at the light that seeps through anyways, and waits.
    ________________________________________________
    A death brings unwanted memories back. Ilya struggles to remember, then struggles to forget. Shane struggles to get through to Ilya before it's too late.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,740
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    433
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    4,356

    14 Mar 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark 15

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    He’s so numb these days that it feels as if there’s nothing left to drain, until he thinks of the crumpled piece of cardboard against his leg, which he still transfers carefully from pocket to pocket. He’s not sure why he didn’t rip it up immediately – it’s not like he needs it anyway. The wrinkled text is burned into his retinas: 

    Shane Hollander has had Ilya Rozanov erased from his memory.

    Please never mention this relationship to him again.

    Thank you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,052
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    777

    11 Mar 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,174
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2,454
    Kudos:
    15,558
    Bookmarks:
    6,591
    Hits:
    240,449

    13 Mar 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark 50

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    The change is gradual, and no one could fault Shane for missing it; the damning videos that creep in are, in many ways, exactly the same as all the others.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,908
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    346
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    1,662

    13 Mar 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Yuna getting stuck in an elevator with Ilya for two hours doesn't change everything... but it changes some things. Like Yuna getting to be on a first-name basis with Ilya a full year before her son is.

    (Part 2 (the smutty part) is not actually essential reading if you are not in the mood for smut!)

    Words:
    136,726
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1,267

    02 Mar 2026

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