Archive of Our Own

Present.

For the past twenty minutes, Kim Seokjin had been ranting about the fact that he was forced to have a red velvet cake the next day instead of just regular chocolate, or even vanilla. “Red velvet is just fake chocolate. Red velvet isn’t a flavor, it’s a color!” For the past twenty minutes, Yoongi and Jungkook had been sitting with Seokjin at his dining room table, listening to his rant patiently. However, as twenty minutes turned into thirty, their patience started to wear thin.

It was Jungkook who broke first.

“Hyung, this is supposed to be a bachelor’s party and you’ve been complaining about cake for half an hour! This is so boring!” Jungkook exclaimed. “If you want a chocolate cake, I’ll buy one before the wedding tomorrow and bring it for you.”

“I don’t want store bought cake, what the hell,” Seokjin said.

“Fine, then I won’t. But you love Namjoon, so I’m pretty sure that you can suffer through a red velvet cake for him,” Jungkook pointed out. “Now, do you have any alcohol at all in this house?” The youngest stood up and padded into the kitchen.

“When did he get so smart?” Seokjin asked Yoongi when Jungkook was out of earshot.

“I don’t know, but he’s right, this is the most depressing bachelor’s party I’ve ever been to. We should have just all gone out together instead of splitting up. I bet Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin are having way more fun. No offense,” Yoongi replied.

“That’s not how it works, we have to have separate parties. You’re my lifelong best friend, so you’re forced to endure my party, no matter what I want to do. I took Jungkook under my wing and he is forever indebted to be, thus, here he is,” Seokjin said dramatically and leaned back in his chair. “Everything is, you know, set for tomorrow right? You’re my best man so you better not have screwed anything up.”

“You know,” Yoongi said. “I am very offended that you think I wouldn’t come through for you. I only lost the rings twice.”

“Twice?” Seokjin exclaimed just as Jungkook returned with beers. “I thought it was only once!” Yoongi shrugged knowingly and Seokjin grabbed one of the beers and popped it open, taking a long sip.

“We should get a stripper,” Jungkook announced suddenly.

Seokjin started choking on his beer, and Yoongi patted him on the back. “Dude, don’t kill him before his wedding,” Yoongi said.

“We are not getting a stripper! I would never do such a thing to Namjoon,” Seokjin said with a glare at Jungkook.

“Okay, Yoongi, bet 100,000 won that Namjoon and Thing One and Thing Two are currently having a party with a stripper,” Jungkook said, holding out his hand for Yoongi to shake.

“I don’t need to bet you, that is one hundred percent happening,” Yoongi deadpanned.

“Well, I’m still not getting one,” Seokjin said with a huff.

“Fine, I’m ordering pizza though,” Jungkook said and got up from the table again and left the room.

Yoongi grabbed himself a beer too and took a sip before peering over at Jin. When he’d announced to Yoongi and the rest of their friends that he and Namjoon were getting married, or at least, married as much as one gay couple could in Korea, Yoongi had been pretty taken aback. Seokjin was only twenty-seven and Namjoon was only twenty-five. They were young.

Namjoon was still trying to find purchase in his occupational field, as being a tattoo artist wasn’t easy, and he worked several other part-time jobs. Jin, on the other hand, was pretty well off for his age. He’d majored in medicine, like Yoongi himself had, and had a well-paying job as a nurse at a children’s hospital and was working his way up in the ranks.

The two of them had managed to buy a house together, the one Yoongi was currently drinking stale beer in, and not long after that had been their decision to get married. Although, they had been together on and off for years and Yoongi was actually fairly certain that Jin was Namjoon’s first. Maybe not his only, hence the ‘off’ part of ‘on and off’, but still. That was something.

So maybe they would be okay.

It was still strange though, that two of his closest friends were getting married. Jungkook had agreed, at first, saying, “Jin-hyung is like a giant five year old, that’s why I get along with him so well.” Jimin and Taehyung, on the other hand, instantly wanted to know what role they would be playing in the wedding. Yoongi had cowered back, hoping that he wouldn’t have to participate, but of course, Jin being his best friend, he was chosen as Jin’s best man.

“Yoongi, it’s your fault this party sucks, isn’t the best man supposed to organize the bachelor’s party? That’s what the pizza guy said!” Jungkook shouted from the other room.

“My party days are over, I don’t do parties anymore!” Yoongi yelled back.

“You’re only twenty-six, god, why am I around so many gross old people?” Jungkook said loudly enough for Yoongi to catch it.

“He should have gone with Namjoon,” Yoongi said to Jin.

“He wanted to hang out with us, it was his call,” Jin replied. “He’s here to make shit interesting.”

“That’s right, I spice up everyone’s life,” Jungkook sauntered back in the room. “Just ask Taehyung and Jimin.”

“Gross, no, you’re a child, take that back,” Jin pointed at Jungkook who snickered and fell back into his chair.

“Pizza will be a few minutes,” Jungkook told them. “I still think we should have gotten a stripper. If not for Jin-hyung, then you, Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi scrunched up his nose in distaste and picked a piece of fuzz off his shirt. “No thanks.”

“I mean, that would be kind of funny,” Jin admitted.

“Come on, we could get a guy stripper. I know your preferences lean more towards the dick end of the spectrum.”

“The spectrum doesn’t go from vagina to dick, you ignorant fuckwad,” Yoongi snapped and tossed a wadded up napkin at Jungkook.

“Whatever, we could have gotten you a stripper with a dick. It would be entertaining and since the groom to be is total prude, it would have to be you that got all grinded on.”

“I am not a prude,” Jin said. “But honestly, Yoongi, when was the last time you were even on a date.”

“A stripper isn’t a date, what the fuck?” Yoongi asked, drinking more of his beer. “Besides, you’re the one who’s been with the same guy since, what, high school?”

“On and off.”

“My point exactly.”

“Tell us your funny date stories,” Jungkook requested of Yoongi. “I don’t go on dates, not my thing, and Jin-hyung is an old married dude, or he will be. Entertain us.”

“I haven’t had any serious dates or relationships,” Yoongi said nonchalantly. “I can’t think of any good stories.”

And it was true. Yoongi had been too busy in the passing years for a relationship. Majoring in medicine was no walk in the park and getting a job wasn’t either. Especially when he’d changed majors after sophomore year and tried to rush everything else. He often worked long hours at a tiny hospital downtown, nothing like the nice hospital Jin worked, and when he got home all he wanted to do was sleep.

Sometimes he had brief flings, but they never lasted and they weren’t ever very good. Most of the time, if he wanted to get off, he took care of it himself in the shower before or after work because that was the only time he had.

“What about that kid you dated in the first couple years of college?” Jin asked curiously.

“What kid?”

“I don’t know, Yoongi. It was back in your blonde days, when you still had a passion for life or whatever,” Jin tried to elaborate. “He wasn’t your roommate, but with all the time you spent in his dorm room, he might as well have been. Didn’t his name start with an H or something?” Jin glanced at Jungkook for confirmation, but the kid just shrugged.

“Fuck if I know, I was just being born then,” he said falsely and dripping with sarcasm.

“Don’t fucking curse,” Jin said with a wave of his hand before looking back at Yoongi.

“Yeah, I guess I vaguely remember,” Yoongi admitted. “We didn’t date though, it wasn’t like that. He was just my friend.”

“So?” Jin encouraged, “What happened?”

Yoongi squirmed in his seat and took the last sip of his beer. He knew he should have bought more and brought it over, because Jin usually drank alcohol that was sickeningly sweet and Yoongi knew his beer was going to be shitty. It was Namjoon’s fault, he bought the cheapest stuff out there.

“Nothing happened,” Yoongi lied.

“That means something happened,” Jungkook said to Jin.

“I know, I’m very intrigued.”

“Nothing happened,” Yoongi repeated. He knew his friends could read him though. They knew he wasn’t telling the truth, but it was a truth Yoongi had been trying to forget about for a long time. He almost had, too. Just…not quite.

~~~

Before

It all happened because Yoongi’s roommate in the dorms freshman year was a truly terrible human being. He would bring a girl back to their room almost every other night and he would never ask Yoongi if he was cool with it (he wasn’t) and that meant Yoongi was forced out of his dorm. He didn’t have any friends in that dorm at that point, and Jin, being the rich boy that he was, had his own off campus apartment and Yoongi couldn’t afford the trek there and back so often.

The first few times, he went to the library or the student center in the middle of campus, but when he fell asleep there, it was embarrassing and he’d almost gotten kicked out several times. Librarians weren’t so happy to find a drooling Min Yoongi asleep sitting at a table or behind a bookshelf. The teachers in the student center didn’t like his tendency to fall asleep in a private study room.

And so, desperate, Yoongi found himself taking refuge in the dorm lounge. It was a little bit more embarrassing, because kids came passing through there during the night a lot of the time, but it was more convenient than the other arrangements.

One night, only a few months into the school year, he found himself, yet again, down in the lounge, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in at about one in the morning. He had brought a book down with him and had stayed up reading, but his eyes were heavy and there was little chance of him staying awake for much longer. But the couch was lumpy and smelled weird, so he couldn’t find any way to sit or lay that was even remotely comfortable. All the tossing and turning seemed to take away the sleepiness and Yoongi sighed and sat up normally and looked up at the ceiling.

He tried counting backwards from one hundred, but when he got to one, he was as awake as ever and even more irritated. “Fuck me,” Yoongi muttered up at the ceiling.

“Oh, shit, Christ, you scared me,” a foreign voice said and Yoongi looked down from the ceiling.

Another male stood in the middle of the lounge, his hands in his hoodie pockets and a pair of drop crotch pants on. He was lithe and had a pretty, handsome face and questioning eyes. Yoongi swallowed and sat up straighter.

“What’re you down here so early in the morning?” the other male asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Yoongi asked in return.

“Uh. I was going to meet my, uh, weed guy,” the male admitted sheepishly. “But, he didn’t show up and I really gotta stop getting stoned anyway.”

Yoongi smiled despite himself. “Nice, I like your honesty,” he muttered. “My roommate has a date or whatever, so I’m stuck down here.”

“Oh, that sucks,” the male said and walked over to the couch where Yoongi was sitting and sat down on the other end of it. He leaned his head from side to side, cracking his neck, and Yoongi watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. He didn’t seem to be wearing a shirt under his dark hoodie, because Yoongi could see his collar bones and a little bit of his toned chest. “Does your roommate do that all the time, or is this a one off?”

Yoongi blinked and met the stranger’s eyes. “Oh. No, he does it all the time,” Yoongi said. “Like, since day one. Are you a freshman too?”

“Yeah,” the stranger answered. “I’ve seen you around, but I guess we don’t have any classes or anything together. I’m Hoseok.”

“Yoongi.”

“Yoongi. That’s a nice name. Anyway,” the stranger, Hoseok, said, “If you want, you can come to my room, instead of crashing down here on this gross couch.”

“What about your roommate?” Yoongi asked. “Or what if I’m crazy?”

“I don’t have a roommate. It’s like there was an odd number of kids and I was the one left all alone. Which is ironic because I really wanted a roommate, it’s fucking boring as shit being by myself,” Hoseok complained. “Wait. Are you crazy? I mean, I’m a little bit crazy so I don’t mind.”

“I’m probably not completely sane,” Yoongi deadpanned.

Hoseok smiled then and Yoongi chewed on his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling back too much. “Okay, I mean, you don’t look that dangerous or anything. I have a spare bed, but it’s not made. I think I have extra blankets though. Still, it’s better than this couch.”

Yoongi considered for a moment. He had to be up early for classes the next morning and he knew he wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep on the couch. “Yeah, okay, I’d like that,” he finally relented. “Thank you.”

Hoseok bounced up from the couch and Yoongi stood slowly after him. “Cool, if my room smells like weed, I apologize.”

“Noted,” Yoongi said with a chuckle. He followed Hoseok down the hall. The other boy ran his hands through his dark brown hair and Yoongi blew a strand of his own blonde hair out of his eyes. Hoseok was taller than Yoongi was, but only by a little bit and he was clearly Yoongi’s opposite. A people person. But Yoongi was desperate for somewhere to sleep, and maybe Hoseok wouldn’t mind him crashing in his room more often.

As it turned out, Hoseok lived on the same floor as Yoongi did, just around the corner. “If you want, we can write a passive aggressive note and slip it under your door for your roommate,” Hoseok suggested as they passed the room.

“Nah, he already hates me enough.”

“What’s your major?” Hoseok asked Yoongi when they reached Hoseok’s room.

“Um. Musical composition,” Yoongi answered. “What about you?”

“No way! That sounds really fun. I’m an art major.” Yoongi scrunched up his nose just as they stepped into the room. “Yah! What was that face for? Here I am, welcoming you into my home and you give me that look!”

“Sorry, just…art majors are weird,” Yoongi said and Hoseok laughed.

“That’s a fair point, they are. I am.” Then he proceeded to bend down and pull a spare blanket out from under the bed for Yoongi. The room didn’t smell like weed at all, Yoongi noticed, in fact, it smelled nice, clean. Hoseok had a little lava lamp set up on his desk and a microwave and a mini fridge next to the desk. His sheets were green and he had a couple of movie posters on the wall as well as what looked like family photos.

“Seriously, thanks for this,” Yoongi said.

“Sure. Hey, how old are you, by the way?”

“Twenty.”

“Seriously?”

“Took a gap year.”

“I’m nineteen still. Guess I have to call you Hyung,” Hoseok said with a pout. His bottom lip was full and looked very soft. Yoongi blinked away the thought and sat down on the bed that was clearly not in use.

“If you want, I have like yogurt or whatever in the fridge, so your welcome to it in the morning,” Hoseok said. “Do you mind if I stay up a little while? I have to watch mindless internet content before I can fall asleep.”

“Sure, whatever, it’s fine,” Yoongi agreed. “It is your room, after all.”

Hoseok grinned again and then unzipped his hoodie. Yoongi laid down on his back and then glanced over when Hoseok shrugged the hoodie off and tossed it over the desk chair.

Fuck.

Yeah, he hadn’t been wearing anything under it.

Yoongi rolled onto his side, facing the wall and not Hoseok, who he’d known for barely half an hour. The blanket Hoseok had given him smelled like citrus and Yoongi breathed it in. He heard Hoseok shuffling around behind him and after a while the lights when out. There was a soft glow to the room, probably Hoseok’s laptop, but it didn’t bother Yoongi at all. He fell asleep quick.

It all started because Hoseok was too kind and too easy to like. It all happened because Yoongi accepted his offer, and, eventually, the arrangement became a regular thing.

~~~

Present.

“All your board games suck major ass, Hyung,” Jungkook said, standing in front of Jin’s hall closet. Yoongi laughed behind his hand. “Like, do you and Namjoon actually sit around and play this shit?”

Jungkook was thoroughly buzzed and any filter he once had had gone away. It made things a little bit more interesting, at least. “Come out of the closet,” Jin said in annoyance.

“I already did, I am aromantic and everyone is aware of it,” Jungkook said. “Like, do I like roses? Yes. Do I want them sitting around my house because some person gave them to me? No.”

“That’s the worst way to explain aromantic,” Yoongi said.

“Whatever. Where is our pizza, it’s been forever. I’m gonna request that it be free.”

Jin took a deep breath and then stood up. Yoongi watched him disappear into the kitchen and then return with three shot glasses and a bottle of vodka. Jungkook’s eyes just about popped out of his skull. “What the fuck! Where was that?” Jungkook exclaimed and snatched the bottle and shot glasses from his hyung.

“I hid it, because you can’t be trusted,” Jin said as Jungkook poured three shots.

Yoongi reached out for it, but Jungkook slapped his hand away. “These are all for me, peasant,” Jungkook said.

“What did you just call me?” Yoongi asked incredulously.

“On second thought, I want Yoongi to spill all his secrets of his past, so drink up,” Jungkook said, dropping honorifics in his already slightly drunken state. Yoongi rolled his eyes, but threw back one of the shots anyway.

“So, aren’t you worried about being hungover for the wedding?” Yoongi asked Jin.

“No, I need a good story to tell about tonight, or else Namjoon is gonna give me shit for the rest of our lives. I can’t have that. We must outdo him,” Jin declared.

“One word: Stripper,” Jungkook said.

“No,” both Yoongi and Jin said at the same time.

Jungkook exhaled in exasperation, but poured out more shots without further complaining. His face was flushed and Yoongi sometimes wondered why he hung out with them, but he was secretly kind of glad he did. Jungkook was funny, and even though there was an age gap, he clearly grounded Jin. When Jin got too serious, Jungkook was there to remind him to have fun. When Jin got stressed, Jungkook knew how to have a good time. Of course, so did Namjoon, but Jungkook was different. He was like Jin’s little brother in the sense that they knew each other like family.

“Come on, Yoongi,” Jungkook said. “Tell us something interesting. I know you have crazy stories.”

“Did I tell you about the night Jin got his ear pierced?” Yoongi asked.

Jungkook looked from Yoongi to Jin, who was touching his dangling earing lightly. “No, I don’t think so,” Jungkook said. “Why?”

“Because, it’s a good story.”

“Oh god, you’re going to scar him,” Jin said. “Don’t tell your half of that story.”

“My half is the good half,” Yoongi insisted. “Shut up and listen if you want a good story.”

~~~

Before.

It didn’t take long for Yoongi staying in Hoseok’s room to become a regular thing. It didn’t take long for Yoongi to begin to consider Hoseok as friend. They had the same teacher in a math subject, so they ended up meeting up on multiple occasions and studying together, and sometimes they’d go out and grab lunch.

Hoseok was easy to talk to and Yoongi didn’t feel weird opening up to him. It seemed to be a mutual feeling, or maybe Hoseok was just like that with everyone. He told Yoongi about life back in Gwangju and about his older sister, who was studying law. He talked about his parents fondly, and also his pet dog.

“Dude, Hyung, he’s the cutest dog ever. I put bows in his hair.”

“I think it’s fur,” Yoongi corrected. “Also, you’re a weirdo.”

“Whatever, it’s cute as fuck. Judge me if you must,” Hoseok said and crammed food into his mouth. He ate a lot, Yoongi noticed, and Hoseok told him it was because he danced all day. A hobby, but one he was passionate about.

One Friday night, Hoseok and Yoongi were holed up in Hoseok’s room. There was a storm outside and any parties had been efficiently cancelled. Yoongi’s roommate didn’t have a date or anything, but it wasn’t like he needed that excuse to hang out with Hoseok anymore anyway. He was practically Hoseok’s roommate at that point.

“Hey, do you think if we found the breaker and killed the lights, people would be mad?” Hoseok asked. He and Yoongi were watching a movie on Hoseok’s laptop. The rain was pouring down outside and they were sitting on Hoseok’s bed, backs to the wall, shoulder to shoulder.

“The breaker is outside, we’d get soaking wet,” Yoongi pointed out.

“Still, it would be funny. I mean, they’d fix it by tomorrow anyway. I don’t know. I haven’t used my lava lamp in ages and I’m bored. This movie sucks,” Hoseok said. It was true, they weren’t really paying much attention to the movie. Mostly they just kept making fun of random things. Hoseok laughed loudly at Yoongi’s dry comments, his laughter reverberating off the walls.

Yoongi liked Hoseok’s laugh.

He liked a lot of things about Hoseok, actually, but just as a friend. Yoongi didn’t do more than friends. Since starting school, he’d hooked up with two people, but he had been satisfied to let it end at that. Anything more than that was messy.

“Do you have raincoats?” Yoongi asked and Hoseok smiled conspiratorially.

“The crappy poncho kind yeah. Does that mean you’re in?”

Yoongi sighed and closed the laptop with a snap. “I guess…”

And so, a few minutes later, they were slipping out of the dorm into the wet night. The right crashed down over them as they rounded the building. Their laughter was swallowed up by the storm, and Yoongi gladly wanted to drown in it all. The adrenaline coursed through his veins and Hoseok pulled him along.

They found the breaker and pried the box open. Of course, they didn’t know shit about what any of the switches did and the rain was blurring their vision. “Shit, which one do we flip?” Hoseok yelled at Yoongi.

Yoongi stared, not at the breaker box, but at Hoseok. He was soaked, despite the poncho and his bangs were plastered to his forehead. His eyelashes held little droplets of rain and rain dripped from his lips when he spoke. “Um,” Yoongi called back. “I don’t know.”

“Okay, I didn’t think this through,” Hoseok said with a nervous laugh. He looked behind them, one hand on Yoongi’s lower back. “We’d better hurry or leave before campus security finds us.”

“This is so dumb, why the fuck did you want to be without electricity? You’re so insane, I can’t believe we’re friends,” Yoongi shouted.

“Aw, that’s so nice!” Hoseok said and hugged Yoongi from the side. “You’re my friend too.”

“I should hope so,” Yoongi said. He eyes the breaker again and pursed his lips. Then, without really thinking, he dragged his hands over all the switches. They all turned off, all at once. There was a sound, a sort of amplified click and they watched as the lights from inside the dorm slowly clicked off, floor by floor.

Hoseok screamed in amusement and jumped up and down in the mud. “You’re amazing, oh my god!” he shouted and Yoongi and slammed the breaker shut before grabbed Yoongi’s hand and pulling him away. Their fingers intertwined and Hoseok squeezed.

“We could have totally just gotten electrocuted,” Yoongi yelled.

“Better to die with you than alone,” Hoseok replied.

They made it back to the dorm and slipped inside, shucking off their ponchos and tossing them in the trash in the longue before making their way back up to Hoseok’s room. It was nearly pitch black in the hallway and Yoongi had to hold onto Hoseok’s damp shirt to navigate.

When they got to Hoseok’s dorm, the first thing he did was flip on his lava lamp, which was apparently battery powered. It cast a pink light throughout the room. “I have spare clothes if you want,” Hoseok said.

“I have some of my stuff here, since I’m pretty much your unofficial roommate at this point,” Yoongi said and Hoseok nodded before pulling his shirt up and over his head. Yoongi quickly looked away and dug through his bag that he’d brought to Hoseok’s room for dry clothes. He changed as fast as he could and made sure not to look back at Hoseok. It was hard, in the small space, but he managed.

Next, Hoseok handed him a towel and Yoongi attempted to dry his hair with it. Once they were both as dry as they were going to get, Hoseok sat back down on his bed with a loud breath. “I’m still cold,” he admitted. “C’mere.” Yoongi sat next to him and Hoseok wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist without hesitation. Yoongi tensed. Hoseok seemed to sense it and quickly pulled away. “Sorry hyung,” he said. “I…I do that, I’m very touchy, sorry, I know you don’t like it.”

“It’s okay,” Yoongi said softly. “Just surprised me. I can’t see shit in here. This was our dumbest idea yet.”

“I agree.”

Yoongi dragged Hoseok’s laptop back over to them and opened it up. It still had some battery life and Yoongi decided to look and see if any other students were saying anything about the blackout. If any of them had seen Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok on the other hand, laid back on the bed and rested his legs over Yoongi’s.

“Be careful on there. Don’t accidentally come across my porn stash,” Hoseok said.

Yoongi looked at him, a shape in the dark, and scoffed. “Whatever, probably nothing I’d be into anyway,” Yoongi said.

“Huh? Why?” Hoseok asked curiously.

“Like, I don’t know, straight porn is stupid. I mean, so is non-straight porn, but…” Yoongi trailed off. “I like girls, but I prefer, like…the other kind of porn and like…I like guys more, I think?” Yoongi finished and then swallowed thickly. He didn’t know why he’d said that, maybe to gauge Hoseok’s reaction, but now he found himself worried that Hoseok was going to kick him out.

But Hoseok made no move to kick him out. He didn’t move at all actually, his legs stayed over Yoongi’s and he didn’t tense up or act like he was repulsed or anything. Yoongi wished he could see his face. Hoseok’s only reaction was to say, “Oh cool, same.”

Yoongi blinked at the laptop screen. “Oh.”

“Besides, you’d never find my porn stash. It’s very well hidden.”

Yoongi didn’t know what to say, then. Hoseok clearly thought it was no big deal and…he’d basically just admitted to liking guys too, so Yoongi really should just calm the fuck down. It was just that, Yoongi didn’t know Hoseok liked guys. It was new information.

“Is it in the folder titled ‘Do not open’?” Yoongi decided to ask Hoseok, referring to the alleged porn stash.

“No, that’s a decoy. There are pictures of Mickey in there,” Hoseok answered. “You can open it.”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to open the file that clearly say I can’t open it,” Yoongi said with a laugh.

“Um. Fine, miss out of cute dog pictures. Your loss, Hyung,” Hoseok said and Yoongi could practically see his shrug.

Yoongi ended up opening the file and he and Hoseok looked at pictures of Hoseok’s dog like two seven year olds until the laptop battery died. At that point, they were both tired, especially from their excursion in the rain, and they fell asleep. Yoongi didn’t know how they managed to fall asleep together in Hoseok’s tiny dorm bed, under the covers, but they did.

They managed it, pressed up against each other, breath mingling. They were both sound asleep though, so it didn’t matter.

It wouldn’t matter until they woke up. That was when things really changed.

That was when things got messy.

~~~

Present.

“I thought this was going to be a good story, you’ve just been telling me about a lame graduation party for the past ten minutes,” Jungkook said. “Also, again, I ask: Where is our pizza?”

“I’m leading up to the good part, you’re such a brat,” Yoongi slurred.

“What does a graduation party when you and Jin were eighteen have to do with anything? Just get to the part where you did the crazy thing,” Jungkook urged him on.

Seokjin was leaning back in his chair, balancing it on the back two legs. He was probably going to fall and break something. Oh well, it would be mildly entertaining if he had to wear a cast on his wedding and forever remember that moment from the photos.

“Maybe I just won’t tell you. Honestly, just order the stripper for yourself or whatever,” Yoongi said.

“Can I?” Jungkook asked Jin excitedly.

“No.”

“I’m going to wear you down before the night is over,” Jungkook declared. In all seriousness, Yoongi figured that was probably true. “Anyway, Yoongi, the story.”

“Right. Stop interrupting me.”

~~~

Before.

Considering the fact that Yoongi could feel the air conditioning, he figured the electricity was back on. He felt kind of weird, a little bit sluggish, and smelled like rain water. It wasn’t bad, but it was prevalent. His eyes peeled open and he looked at the floor of Hoseok’s dorm room. Only, it looked different than it usually did when he woke up there. Like, opposite. Turned around.

There was a pile of wet clothes on the floor in a laundry hamper and Yoongi’s muddy converse by the edge of the bed he usually slept on.

Shit.

That was the problem. He wasn’t in the spare bed, he was in Hoseok’s bed. With Hoseok. Yoongi could feel Hoseok behind him, his breath hot against Yoongi’s neck and Hoseok’s arm around his waist. He was unmoving behind him, but his chest rose and fell evenly. It was Saturday and neither of them had any reason to wake up early, but Yoongi was panicking because this, this was messy.

But he couldn’t move and maybe he didn’t really want to, anyway. He wiggled around slightly and heard Hoseok exhale more forcefully behind him and then nuzzle into the back of Yoongi’s neck and breathe back in. Yoongi gulped and looked around the room some more, trying to figure out what to do when he felt something.

No, not something.

He knew exactly what it was.

It was Hoseok. Hoseok, his friend, maybe his best friend, was hard. He was hard and Yoongi could feel it and fuck. The bed was so small and Yoongi couldn’t scoot forward or else he would fall off and Hoseok was right behind him, probably pressed against the wall. Still, Yoongi tried to move somehow to avoid the feeling of Hoseok’s erection, but it didn’t help at all, it just made said erection brush against his ass instead. Which was, like, a million times worse.

And then Hoseok moved again behind him, tilted his head up and Yoongi shivered when he felt Hoseok’s lips brush against his neck. Was he still asleep? Yoongi figured he was. Hoseok wouldn’t do something like this on purpose, Yoongi knew that. But fucking Christ, he was so hard. Yoongi could tell, he could tell, he could tell.

The arm around Yoongi’s waist shifted, his hand moving a little bit lower on Yoongi’s stomach and he felt his own dick twitch in interest.

No, Yoongi thought. No, no, no. Do not get hard. Think about gross things. About…

He couldn’t think of any gross things. He could only think about Hoseok’s breath on his neck and his hand on his stomach and his fucking hard-on pressing into his ass.

Four minutes and twenty-seven seconds passed, Yoongi counted, and then Hoseok started to actually stir. He sniffled through his nose and momentarily pulled Yoongi in closer, causing Yoongi’s breath to catch in his throat. That seemed to be what jarred Hoseok the rest of the way awake. And he froze. And then so did Yoongi. There was no hiding it, they were spooning very intensely and they were both awake and very much aware of what was happening.

“A-are you awake?” Hoseok asked anyway, his usually boisterous voice sounding small and afraid.

“Yeah,” Yoongi answered in a rasp.

“Fuck,” Hoseok started breathing fast and hard. “Fuck, Hyung, I’m so sorry. I’m…I’m so embarrassed, I mean, fuck, you obviously know…you can feel it. I swear, it’s not—I didn’t mean…” Hoseok stammered and rambled incoherently and removed his hand from Yoongi’s waist. He tried to sit up, but they were tangled in the sheets and he couldn’t, so it just made everything worse and Yoongi wanted to curl up and die. He must have acted on that because his butt stuck out into Hoseok’s crotch.

“Shit, fuck, that was an accident,” Yoongi said, covering his face.

“I’m really, really sorry, please don’t hate me,” Hoseok said. Yoongi swore he sounded close to tears. He was not going to have Hoseok crying.

“It’s fucking fine,” Yoongi heard himself say. “It’s whatever. I get it. I’m—” he cut off and turned his head to the side to look at Hoseok.

“What?” Hoseok asked. “You’re what?” Hoseok’s face was beet red and his hair was so messed up that it might have been cute in another circumstance. He really did look ashamed and embarrassed.

Yoongi really could only think of one solution that would make Hoseok feel less embarrassed. “I’m…uh, hard, also, right now,” Yoongi said stupidly.

Hoseok sat up slightly then, and looked down at Yoongi. “Oh.” he said plainly. Then his face changed and he looked kind of irritated. “Why the fuck would you tell me that?”

“I was trying to make you feel better!” Yoongi said.

“Well, it didn’t help. Now it’s just worse,” Hoseok said.

Worse? Yoongi looked down at the point in the sheets that was probably Hoseok’s crotch, but he couldn’t really see anything through all the blankets and clothes. His throat suddenly felt very dry.

“Sorry…I can leave and you can, uh, take care of it,” Yoongi said awkwardly. Hoseok was looking at him directly, his lips parted and his eyes searching.

“Are you really hard?” Hoseok asked, his voice low. “Or did you just say that?”

Yoongi hesitated. He sat up too, and scooted back. “No, I was being serious.”

“Did you…” Hoseok’s eyes darted from Yoongi’s face to Yoongi’s crotch, also covered by the blankets. Yoongi thought for a moment he imagined it, but Hoseok had definitely looked. “Did you wake up hard or…did you get hard?”

Yoongi’s mouth fell open. He licked his lower lip and then turned away, his face probably red. “I don’t know,” he lied.

“Do you wanna…” Hoseok trailed off again. Yoongi felt like he was spinning. He was still hard, somehow, and he kind of really just wanted to leave and go jerk off or something. Except, he couldn’t do it in the communal bathroom and his technical roommate was in Yoongi’s room, so that was out of the question. So, he was back to square one. Back to being in a bed with Hoseok, who was also hard and who was also very attractive and who was also Yoongi’s friend.

“Do I wanna what?” Yoongi asked.

“Like…” Hoseok gestured between them. “Do you wanna fool around?” he asked.

Yoongi coughed. “Fool around?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok said.

Yoongi’s heart was beating so loud he was sure Hoseok could hear it.

“Um.”

“We don’t have to,” Hoseok said. “We can forget I asked. Forget this happened.”

“What does fooling around entail?” Yoongi asked. His hand was still under the sheets and he gripped his own thigh when Hoseok’s gaze darkened slightly.

“I don’t know. I can jerk you off. Or…I don’t know,” he repeated. “Frottage? Hand jobs, blah, blah, blah.”

Yoongi pictured it for a second. Himself, straddling Hoseok’s thighs and grinding down. Hoseok’s hands wrapped around him, the delicate fingers doing things to him that would make him squirm. Yoongi, taking Hoseok deep in his throat until he felt the burn and—

No. Hoseok hadn’t said anything about blowjobs. Calm the fuck down, Min Yoongi.

“Y-yeah,” Yoongi said.

Hoseok sat up straighter. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi repeated. “But, uh…no strings yeah? We’re friends. You’re my friend. This doesn’t change that.”

“Of course, yeah,” Hoseok agreed. “Do we need, like, boundaries?”

“No kissing outside this.”

Hoseok cocked his head to the side. “That goes with the friends thing, but…do you want me to kiss you now, hyung?”

Yoongi licked his lips again. His cock twitched with interest again as Hoseok crawled closer to him. They both still smelled like the rain and it was intoxicating. “Yeah, I guess,” Yoongi said as nonchalantly as he could manage. “You can kiss me.”

Hoseok nodded. He seemed a little bit nervous, but he leaned forward anyway and lightly touched Yoongi’s lips with his own. Yoongi sighed and parted his lips. Hoseok deepened it, a quick dart of his tongue against Yoongi’s lower lip before it went into his mouth.

Yoongi pulled him closer and then pushed back the blankets so that their bodies could touch better. Hoseok was wearing a pair of sweat pants and Yoongi had on plaid pajama pants. Both fabrics were thin and when Hoseok’s body molded against Yoongi’s he could again feel Hoseok’s erection against his leg.

“So like, is this a friends with benefits thing?” Hoseok asked as he moved from Yoongi’s mouth to his jaw.

Yoongi chuckled slightly. “I guess. There haven’t really been any benefits yet, though.”

Hoseok smiled against Yoongi’s jaw and continued kissing, slow and wet and everything Yoongi had been missing. He hadn’t had sex in a while, and he knew he and Hoseok weren’t going to fuck, but it was better than nothing. Yoongi tried to kiss Hoseok’s neck, too, and at the same time he trailed his hand down Hoseok’s front until he was near his dick.

“’S okay,” Hoseok mumbled. “Go for it.”

God, fuck.

Yoongi went for it. He cupped Hoseok through his sweats and ground the heel of his palm down. His eyes fluttered closed and Hoseok let out a little moan. Yoongi decided he wanted Hoseok’s sweat pants off, but then Hoseok sat up and pulled Yoongi back into a sitting position. Hoseok leaned back against the wall and Yoongi crawled after him and straddled him. Hoseok put his hands on Yoongi’s hips and guided him forward. Through four layers of fabric, their cocks brushed and Yoongi’s breath hitched.

He looked at Hoseok, making sure it was okay, and Hoseok nodded. “Please touch me,” Yoongi said.

Hoseok bit his bottom lip and grabbed Yoongi through his pants and underwear. It was awkward and the angle was all wrong and it wasn’t enough friction.

“Do you want to take our pants off?” Hoseok asked. “If you don’t, that’s okay.”

Of fucking course Yoongi wanted to take his pants off, but he didn’t want to seem super eager either. Like he’d been waiting for this moment for eons. Since he’d seen Hoseok shirtless the first night he slept in his room.

“I think…it would be better,” Yoongi decided.

Hoseok nodded and lifted his hips. Yoongi helped drag his sweatpants off and they collected around Hoseok’s ankles which dangled off the bed. Yoongi stared down at Hoseok’s white underwear. “Yeah, that’s my dick,” Hoseok said bluntly and Yoongi scoffed and pulled Hoseok forward for another quick kiss and more sucking on his neck. He didn’t want to stay on his lips for too long. That was too intimate. Necks were okay. Necks were neutral.

Yoongi ground his hips down again and Hoseok moaned deeper. The sound made Yoongi bite down on Hoseok’s neck and Hoseok bucked up. Yoongi gasped and then, without thinking, reached into Hoseok’s underwear and grabbed his length.

“Fuck, Yoongi,” Hoseok said. Yoongi was about to stop, about to pull away, but Hoseok nipped at his ear. “Keep going,” he said.

Hoseok was already wet, leaking at the tip, and Yoongi used that to his advantage, pumping Hoseok a few times nice and slow. Eventually, Hoseok wiggled out of his underwear and Yoongi looked down between them. His mouth watered.

“Jesus Christ,” Yoongi said, Hoseok’s dick still in his hand. “I didn’t know you were so…”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, well, you never asked.”

Yoongi wanted to suck Hoseok off. That was what he was good at. But, he wasn’t going to ask so he would just make do. He looked Hoseok in the eye and then spit into his palm before reaching back down to continue jerking Hoseok off. The younger boy started breathing heavier and leaned his head back against the wall, his hands on Yoongi’s hips, rocking him back and forth slightly. Yoongi barely grazed Hoseok’s thigh with every rock forward, but it was hardly enough and he whined.

Hoseok’s eyes shot open at the sound. “Yoongi,” Hoseok breathed. “Yoongi, what the fuck was that sound?”

“I…”

“It was so hot, fuck,” Hoseok said and then, hesitantly, Hoseok reached under Yoongi’s shirt. His hand was warm and Yoongi stopped his movements on Hoseok’s dick to feel. His mouth fell open and his lips parted as Hoseok started rolling a nipple between his fingers. He made no move to take Yoongi’s shirt off, but Yoongi didn’t mind.

Suddenly, Yoongi felt Hoseok’s lips on his bottom one and Hoseok sucked it into his mouth and bit down a little rough, still playing with Yoongi’s nipple and Yoongi whined again, rutting against Hoseok’s thigh.

“Take your pants off too,” Hoseok said firmly, removing his lips from Yoongi’s.

“Oh, okay,” Yoongi muttered and yanked down his pajama pants. Hoseok went for his underwear a second after and something hit Yoongi like a bullet. “Wait, wait!” he said and Hoseok froze.

“What?” Hoseok looked nervous, like he thought Yoongi was going to change his mind.

“Don’t freak out,” Yoongi said carefully.

Hoseok’s face changed and he laughed. “Freak out? Why would I freak out? I can tell your dick isn’t small so that’s not the issue.”

“Um…after graduation I made a really weird, bad decision one night with my friend…” Yoongi explained.

“Do you have a weird tattoo on your dick?” Hoseok asked. Yoongi shook his head no. “Like, a tattoo of a dick on your dick. That’d be funny. Then all penetration would be double penetration.”

“Ew,” Yoongi said. “No, it’s not that.”

“Can I see then?” Hoseok asked.

“If it’s weird or you don’t like it, we can stop,” Yoongi said quietly. Hoseok rolled his eyes, like that was ridiculous and pulled Yoongi’s boxers off the rest of the way. Before he looked down, though, he kissed Yoongi again, deep and long and Yoongi melted into it.

Then it ended and Hoseok leaned back and looked down and his mouth fell slack. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “You…you fucking pierced your dick?” he asked, looking back at Yoongi’s face for a second before looking back down.

“It’s, uh, called an Ampallang Piercing,” Yoongi said carefully.

“Didn’t that hurt?”

“Yeah, but I kind of blacked out during most of it, to be honest,” Yoongi said. “Jin, my friend, and I got drunk and he got his ear pierced and I did…that. Look, if it’s weird, I get it.”

“Weird?” Hoseok asked. “Are you kidding me? It’s fucking hot.” Yoongi felt like the air had been punched out of him. “Does it make things different, during sex?”

“Not really. It hurt for a long ass time after, but it’s fine now. I mean…to be honest it kind of makes it better?” Yoongi admitted. Hoseok groaned loudly. Then, he reached down and touched the metal at the head of Yoongi’s dick, careful and exploratory. Yoongi watched Hoseok’s face, the way his lips were curled up, the way he eyed Yoongi like he was the best thing since sliced bread.

“Yoongi, shit, you’re so sexy, I swear,” Hoseok said. “Like I’d never get a dick piercing because I would actually die, but fuck, yours is so hot I’m gonna die anyway.”

“Please don’t die until I come, thanks,” Yoongi said.

“Yeah, yeah, holy fuck,” Hoseok said. He yanked Yoongi forward by the ass until their hips were pressed together and Hoseok continued to kiss Yoongi on the shoulders and neck, slowly moving his hips back and forth, Yoongi doing the same. They were still half dressed, and it was early in the morning, and Yoongi was wondering how the hell this happened.

But Hoseok was using one hand to stoke Yoongi languidly, then to play with the metal there at the head and slide his thumb through the slit. Yoongi’s hips jerked involuntarily and he gasped. “Hobi,” Yoongi moaned and reached down for his friend’s (friend with benefit’s?) dick too, squeezing gently. Hoseok lifted his hips and tried to fuck into Yoongi’s fist and they rested their foreheads together, panting into each other’s mouths desperately.

“Oh shit,” Hoseok cursed. More pre-cum drizzled down the side of him and Yoongi watched and dragged his finger through it and put his finger into his mouth. His brain was working on Sex Mode. Anything he did was to be blamed on that. But Hoseok didn’t seem to be fazed, at least not in a negative way, because he shivered and licked once, dirty, into Yoongi’s mouth. “Fuck, Yoongi, can I…can I try something?”

“Huh?” Yoongi asked, licking his lower lip. “Yeah, whatever. Do whatever,” Yoongi said.

Hoseok adjusted his hold on Yoongi and aligned their hips. Yoongi leaned back, hips forward, figuring Hoseok wanted to grind together or something, but then Hoseok grabbed his own dick, and then pressed it against Yoongi’s and wrapped his longer fingers around both of them.

“Oh my god, Hobi,” Yoongi moaned and let his hand join Hoseok’s as they moved together. Their hips thrust up and their hands, almost intertwined, moved up and down. And their cocks were touching. Yoongi felt Hoseok press the head and Yoongi mirrored the action as best he could, even though he could feel his orgasm looming over him.

“Jesus, why are you so fucking pretty?” Hoseok gasped out. “Wanna see you under me,” he said, even quieter, but Yoongi heard it. He also heard Hoseok mumble something about Yoongi’s piercing. Something about, ‘how would it feel inside,’ Yoongi wasn’t sure because he was gasping too.

“Gonna come, I’m gonna come,” Yoongi gasped, moving his hips into Hoseok’s fist more erratically.

“Yeah, baby, me too,” Hoseok answered. “Go ahead. Come for me, I wanna see it.”  And that was it. Yoongi cried out and jerked his hips up one more time before he spilled all over his hand and Hoseok’s hand and over their legs. Hoseok kept moving, using Yoongi’s come as lube and after only a few seconds, he came too, hard and loud and Yoongi keened as he watched Hoseok’s body convulse and eventually relax.

They stayed there like that, Yoongi in Hoseok’s lap and come all over themselves, for several long moments, catching their breath. It started to get awkward when Hoseok took his hands off Yoongi’s hips and Yoongi flopped to the side, messy and sated but also dying inside a little bit. But then, Hoseok turned to face him with a smirk that rivaled all other smirks and he said, “So, I think I have a kink for dick piercings.”

And that was that. That was how Jung Hoseok and Min Yoongi ended up being best friends who occasionally got each other off. It wasn’t weird or awkward after, it was just how it was. It was what they did. They weren’t dating and they didn’t kiss outside their sexual interactions and they didn’t fuck. “No butt stuff,” Yoongi had said. “At least, not right now.”

“No butt stuff, got it,” Hoseok agreed, but the ‘not right now’ lingered between them. So did something else. Something evident in the way Hoseok cuddled next to Yoongi when they studied together. Something in the way Yoongi smiled when Hoseok smiled. Something in the way they could always find each other in a crowded room. Just…something.

~~~

Present.

Jungkook was laughing so hard that Jin and Yoongi were staring to get concerned about whether or not he was breathing. The kid’s fist banged against the table and he slapped his knee and rocked back and forth. “I can’t—” he wheezed. “I can’t believe it, you have a piercing on your dick? Oh my god,” Jungkook laughed again.

“Yup,” Yoongi answered.

“Does that mean you saw Yoongi’s dick, if you were there?” Jungkook asked Jin.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Jin answered.

“I’m going to die, this is too good. How does that even work?”

“Do you have a banana? I can demonstrate,” Yoongi said.

“No, do not abuse a banana like that,” Jin said.

“It’s just like a piercing that pierces the head from side it side. It’s the most common piercing of that sort, I think,” Yoongi said, leaning back in his chair.

“I want one,” Jungkook announced.

“No. No, Yoongi, see, this is why we agreed to never speak of that night,” Jin sighed and looked at the clock. Their pizza still hadn’t arrived and Yoongi was honestly tired as hell and he kind of wanted to go home, but that would offend Jin, so he didn’t say anything.

“At least I didn’t get piercings in the butt area,” Yoongi said. “That’s a thing too.”

“I heard a story once about a guy who got electrocuted from having a piercing on his peen,” Jin said.

“You made that up,” Yoongi accused.

They argued about that for several minutes while Jungkook called the pizza place and asked where their pizza was. Yoongi heard him in the other room. “Oh, send your cutest delivery boy, okay?” he asked. Jin didn’t seem to hear, and Yoongi was still buzzed enough not to care. He did yawn though and looked around the dining room. A vase of lilies sat in the center of the table and a painting of Taehyung’s hung on the wall.

“You guys aren’t going to ditch us when you get married, are you?” Yoongi found himself asking Jin.

“What?” Jin stared at him like he’d just grown another head. “Of course not. You’re my oldest friend and even though you guys are all batshit crazy, I never want to not be your friend.”

“That’s so gay,” Jungkook said when he walked back in the room.

“How many times a week do you suck a dick?” Yoongi deadpanned.

“Eh. Depends,” Jungkook responded. “Point taken though.” Jungkook then started asking Jin things about the wedding, most specifically, if there were going to be ‘goodie bags’ afterwards. Yoongi sat back and listened while he imagined what their other friends were up to.

Namjoon wasn’t necessarily the most ‘party prone’ person out there, but Taehyung and Jimin were, so Yoongi imaged that they were probably out at a bar or club of some sort. There was no way that Taehyung and Jimin hadn’t announced to the entire establishment that it was a bachelor’s party, so they were probably getting free drinks and crap like that. Jimin and Taehyung might have even been getting a third person board to spend the night with them. Or maybe even a fourth. There was no telling. Namjoon had also most likely already broken at least two things.

On Yoongi birthday once, Namjoon managed to break an entire table at the establishment they had been at. Sure, it was funny, until they were asked to pay for it.

“No, look, I’m telling you, wedding goodie bags are a good idea. That way, people will buy you more things…like pots and pans and shit…because you gave them something in return,” Jungkook said.

“We don’t have a registry,” Jin pointed out. “And I’m feeding all you heathens tomorrow, we ordered good food.”

“Can I take some of the food home?”

“If there are leftovers,” Jin agreed.

“Awesome. Also, will your parents be there? I want to meet them. I’m going to introduce myself as their long lost son,” Jungkook said decidedly. He reached out for the bottle of alcohol that still sat on the table, but Yoongi quickly intercepted it.

“You’ve had enough,” he said.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, but then aimed his interest back at Yoongi. “So do you have weird sex stories involving the piercing?” he asked.

“No.”

“There is a ten out of ten chance that you are one hundred percent lying,” Jungkook crossed his arms.

“The math adds up,” Jin said with a smirk.

“Most people don’t care about it,” Yoongi said, looking between them. “Look, why don’t we call Thing One and Thing Two and make sure they aren’t passed out on the side of the road somewhere, yeah?”

Jungkook liked that idea, it seemed, so he took his phone out and video called Jimin, who picked up after a few rings. It was dark, wherever they were, but also suspiciously quiet. “Hey!” Jimin exclaimed loudly. Then he leaned to the side, away from the cameras view and seemed to whisper something to someone next to him, probably Taehyung.

“Where are you?” Jungkook asked. Jimin came back and this time there were bright colors flashing across his face, but it looked kind of weird, like…like Taehyung found some app that made bright colors and was holding his phone to Jimin’s face to make the colors show up.

“At a club,” Jimin said. Taehyung ‘whooped’ next to him.

“Why the fuck is there no music?” Jungkook asked.

“Are you drunk?” Jimin returned. “You look drunk.”

“A little bit, probably. Yes. Jin has vodka. I think it’s like birthday cake flavored. I could drink it like milk in cereal,” Jungkook said. Then his eyes got big. “Jin! Do you have cereal?”

“No.”

“Yeah you do, I saw it,” Yoongi said and Jin glared.

“Anyway. Yeah, we’re at the club, so we better go,” Jimin said sadly. He seemed very much sober. Completely so. Additionally, there did seem to be some kind of background noise, upon further inspection, but it was kind of hard to understand, like voices over a speaker or something.

“It’s about to start,” Namjoon’s voice said.

Yoongi started laughing. Jungkook and Jin eyed him questioningly. “Are you idiots at the movie theater?” Yoongi asked.

“What?” Jimin asked, looking scandalized. “Us? The kings of partying? At the movies? I am offended, Hyung. Absolutely offended.”

“Yeah!” Taehyung popped into view. “That you would suggest we were doing something so boring is just plain mean. We would not buy out the entire theater for the night and binge on popcorn. That’s lame!”

“Goodbye,” Jimin said with extra pronunciation before hanging up.

~~~

Before.

Freshman year came and went, a blur of exams and essays and nights in Hoseok’s dorm room. The two of them kept in contact over the summer, and Hoseok met Jin and some of Yoongi’s other friends. He and Hoseok exchanged messy hand jobs in each other’s cars after parties.

And then sophomore year began, and when time came for roommate arrangements, Yoongi and Hoseok chose to room together. They’d been pretty much doing it the whole time freshman year anyway, so it seemed like the most obvious arrangement.

“I have a good feeling about this year,” Hoseok told Yoongi the night after move in day.

“Yeah?” Yoongi asked, eyeing Hoseok in the dim light. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I’m happy. My sister has a new boyfriend, he’s cool. You’re my roommate and all my classes sound tolerable,” Hoseok explained with a shrug. “Things are good.”

“The summer could have been better,” Yoongi admitted. He’d spent the summer living with Jin, because he didn’t have anywhere else to go, and he’d worked at a little grocery store for cash. He was still working there, just less days, because otherwise he wouldn’t really have any financial means. Of course, they could always eat in the school cafeteria, but that got old fast.

“The summer is over,” Hoseok pointed out. “Don’t dwell on it. Besides, it wasn’t all bad. Remember that concert we went to?”

Yoongi remembered the concert. He mostly remembered going back to Jin’s apartment with Hoseok afterwards and making out with Hoseok on Jin’s couch for a really long time because Jin was out with Namjoon. He remembered Hoseok’s hands on his body with something like fire and Hoseok falling apart thanks to Yoongi’s mouth.

“That was fun,” Yoongi said.

It wasn’t always Hoseok who initiated things between them. Sometimes it was Yoongi, or sometimes they both just looked at each other and knew. During the summer, Hoseok had gone back to Gwangju for a few weeks, and whole he was there, Yoongi saw pictures of him with old friends on social media. Pretty girls that draped themselves all over Hoseok like they knew him best. Handsome boys that made Yoongi look pale and small. But Yoongi wasn’t jealous because their agreement was to be friends and there was no reason for him to be jealous of anyone else Hoseok was friends, or more, with.

They both knew that one day, if the other got in a relationship (read: if Hoseok got into a relationship) the arrangement would be over and they would go back to being friends and that was it.

Yoongi sat up in his bed. They were in their respective beds, but Yoongi looked over at Hoseok, who had his arm over his eyes, and looked so…perfect. Like he always did. Yoongi slung his covers off and took the few steps across the room to Hoseok’s bed before climbing in and straddling Hoseok’s hips, placing his hands on Hoseok’s.

Hoseok jumped and removed his arm from over his face and stared up at Yoongi with big eyes. “Yoongi,” he said, slowly reaching out to grab Yoongi’s hips. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Yoongi said in return.

Hoseok’s thumb moved in circles on Yoongi’s hip as he studied him carefully. The whole dorm floor was quiet, still, and they still had a few boxes that hadn’t been unpacked. There was something fragile, about that moment.

“You know, when I was back home, I missed you,” Hoseok said. Yoongi moved his hips in small circles and raised an eyebrow. “Not just this, I mean,” Hoseok continued. “Like, I missed you.”

“I’m your best friend, you better have missed me,” Yoongi replied before leaning down to kiss Hoseok’s neck.

“I thought Jin was your best friend.”

“Don’t bring up Jin when I’m considering giving you a blowjob.”

“You brought up Jin the first time we fooled around. You mentioned him in the dick piercing story,” Hoseok said with a laugh. “But, fine, I’ll stop.”

“Jin’s my friend, but I don’t have sex with him, so…” Yoongi sat up again and pulled the tie on Hoseok’s pants.

“We don’t have sex either. Technically,” Hoseok pointed out. Yoongi looked at him, brown hair a little bit lighter than it had been before, and skin a little bit tanner. Hoseok was looking back, a question on his face. Like he was really saying, “We don’t have sex, technically, but would you want to?”

Yoongi decided to ignore the question in Hoseok’s eyes for the time being.

He ignored it for a few weeks, actually, because when they fooled around, Hoseok kept mentioning things. It was subtle enough to not be anything at all, but at the same time, he wouldn’t keep dropping hints for nothing. And Yoongi did want to actually have sex with him, but that was a lot more than what they were doing. They could still call it friends with benefits, but the benefits portion would be much bigger.

They would actually have to talk about things.

Yoongi didn’t like having to talk about things.

Point proven one afternoon when he was hanging out with Jin and some of Jin and Namjoon’s friends. They were younger, but Yoongi supposed he didn’t really mind that much. He’d seen them a couple of times during the summer and they were cool.

“So,” Taehyung said. “Is your boyfriend coming too?”

They were eating out, Jin’s treat, and Yoongi glanced up from his plate of food. “Are you talking to me?” Taehyung nodded. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Who’s that kid you always had with you during the summer then?” Jimin asked.

“First of all, he’s older than you, so you can’t call him kid,” Yoongi scowled. “Second, he isn’t my boyfriend.”

“He always has his arms around you and shit,” Jimin said with a shrug. “We just assumed.”

Yoongi glanced at Jin, who was uncharacteristically quiet. “Hobi is just touchy. He’s like that with everyone,” Yoongi muttered.

“Ooh, Hobi,” Taehyung teased and nudged Yoongi in the shoulder. “Aw, Yoongi-hyung, do you have a crush?”

“Okay, guys, stop. Leave Yoongi alone,” Jin said suddenly. “It’s his business, not yours.”

Yoongi looked back down at his food, annoyed, and ate in silence for the rest of the meal. Jin entertained Taehyung and Jimin and Yoongi scrolled through his phone with he was done eating. Hoseok had texted him several minutes prior.

Hobi:

1:22 my class got cancelled i’m bored yoongs

1:23 I just looked up piercings and I think i’m gonna barf

Yoongi:

1:34 Why the fuck did you do that?

Hobi:

1:35 idk. bc I can’t look at yours rn.

1:35 when r u coming back?

Yoongi:

1:36 In a little bit. I can leave now.

Hobi:

1:38 cool so like. see u in a few

1:40 ;)

About two hours later, Yoongi was on his knees in between Hoseok’s legs, sitting back, and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Hoseok panted and looked down at him appreciatively. “You never fail to amaze me with your blowjob skills,” Hoseok said and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“You look like a total douchebag right now, by the way. With your stupid ass tank top and hat on,” Yoongi reached up and snatched Hoseok’s hat off his head and tossed it behind him.

“Oh, I love insults after blowjobs, keep going,” Hoseok said sarcastically. Yoongi stood up and stretched his legs out. Hoseok pulled him closer by the waist and rested his chin against Yoongi’s stomach, looking up at him through hooded eyes. “What’re we gonna do about you, then?”

“We? Who the fuck is we?” Yoongi asked. “You got another person hiding under your bed?”

“You’re cranky today, what’s wrong?” Hoseok asked, but in the meantime he pulled Yoongi onto the bed and laid him back.

“Nothing. My friends were just annoying at lunch today, it’s whatever,” Yoongi answered as Hoseok undid the buttons on Yoongi’s jeans with one hand while the other trailed under Yoongi’s shirt. They had never both got fully naked before. Hoseok had, once, near the end of freshman year, because he’d come back from the showers and already didn’t have a shirt on. However, Hoseok did like to touch Yoongi under his shirt, but he never moved to take it off. Maybe he didn’t want to see Yoongi naked, like that, or maybe he just thought Yoongi didn’t want him to.

“Well I like your friends. Jimin is funny. My friends back home are pretty annoying too, I think I’ve outgrown them, to be honest. You’d hate them,” Hoseok said and pushed up the hem of Yoongi’s shirt ever so slightly and kissed the exposed skin. “You would like my sister though, you guys have a similar sense of humor. Like if you met, she would tell you a bunch of stories about me.”

Yoongi looked down and brushed his hand through Hoseok’s hair. “Um…yeah, okay,” Yoongi said awkwardly.

 Hoseok sat up straight again. “No,” he said. “I didn’t mean, like, that I wanted you to meet my family, that’d be weird. No, that’s…I didn’t mean that.” Hoseok was looking nervous again and his face was red again. “I’m not even out to my parents so they’d probably wonder why the fuck I was bringing my best friend home and…actually I guess that wouldn’t be weird. God, I’m going to shut up now. Please, like, shove your dick in my mouth so I’ll stop talking.”

Yoongi laughed out loud, even though he didn’t mean to. “It’s okay, Hoseokie,” Yoongi said.

Hoseok rolled his eyes at himself and then continued to unclasp Yoongi’s jeans and drag them down Yoongi’s legs. Yoongi looked up at the ceiling as Hoseok kissed his thighs and mouthed him through his boxers. With a sigh, Yoongi settled in and closed his eyes while he felt his boxers come off and Hoseok’s hand splay out flat on his stomach.

In the scenarios in which Hoseok sucked Yoongi off, he always paid careful attention to the piercing there. He was pretty good at blowjobs himself, but maybe Yoongi’s opinion was just biased because it was Hoseok.

Hoseok moved his hands to Yoongi’s ass, hoisting him up slightly and Yoongi opened his eyes. Hoseok’s hands were firm and he gripped hard and Yoongi felt his breath hitch. Hoseok must have heard because he looked up. “What is it?” Hoseok asked.

“I um…” Yoongi shrugged awkwardly.

“No, tell me,” Hoseok said. “Is there something you want?”

“Your hands feel good,” Yoongi said. Hoseok smirked and gave Yoongi’s ass a squeeze. “Hobi, fuck…”

“You know, I’m good with my hands.”

“I know,” Yoongi answered. Hoseok cocked his head to the side. “I’ve thought about what it would be like if you fingered me.” Hoseok smiled.

“I can do that for you,” Hoseok said and took his hands away and sat up. “If you want that, I want to do it. I want to make you feel good.”

“Are you sure?”

Hoseok was looking around the little dorm and Yoongi was sitting there, half hard and half naked and thinking about the sudden shift in their arrangement. It seemed like Hoseok found what he was looking for, because he got off the bed and reached under Yoongi’s. “I’m sure,” Hoseok assured him. “You have lube right?”

“Uh, I don’t want to know how you know that, but yes.”

“Cool, I found it,” Hoseok bounced back to the bed and knelt down. He’d since pulled his boxers back up, but it looked like he might have been hard again. Yoongi looked away from the area of Hoseok’s body and back to his face.

“You seriously don’t have to. Have you ever even done this before?” Yoongi asked. “Like blowjobs and hand jobs are one thing but we’re talking about putting your fingers up my ass, Hobi. You know…butt stuff.”

“I’ve had sex with a guy before, I know how to do it. Granted, it was only one guy and it only happened like, twice, and he turned out to be an asshole, but still. I know what I’m doing,” Hoseok mumbled. Then he gave Yoongi a weird look. “Besides, I’ve done it to myself before.”

“Fucking shit, when?”

“Why? You wanna see or something?”

“Yeah, I’d be down to watch,” Yoongi admitted and Hoseok scoffed. “But not right now.”

“Okay, then, lay back,” Hoseok told Yoongi. He did and raised his legs up enough so that Hoseok would have access.

They were probably making a bad decision. They were horny and not talking about things as much as they needed to, but in the moment, Yoongi didn’t give a shit. So he took a deep breath and listened to Hoseok open the bottle of lube and squeeze some out onto his fingers and rub it around to warm it up.

“You really don’t have to do this, I’m totally fine with—shit, never mind, oh my god,” Yoongi said as Hoseok started touching him, applying pressure around the rim, slow and careful.

“You relaxed?” Hoseok asked. He was pressing inside with his pointer finger, down to the first knuckle He crooked his finger and rubbed against Yoongi’s walls.

“Yeah. I’m good,” Yoongi said. “Go faster.”

Hoseok nodded and with his free hand, he teased Yoongi’s dick to ease the initial sting as he pressed his finger the rest of the way in the moved to add another. The feeling of Hoseok’s eyes on him was overwhelming so Yoongi closed his eyes and grabbed the sheets under him.

The second finger was inside him before he could really register it and Hoseok was slowly moving in and out and bending his fingers and then he moved so he was hovering over Yoongi and kissing his neck. It was difficult in the position, but Yoongi tried to grind back against Hoseok’s fingers.

“Yeah, yeah. Do it harder,” Yoongi said and Hoseok let out a hot breath against his neck before pushing in and out faster, deeper. Yoongi’s back arched off the bed when he felt Hoseok’s finger’s hit his prostate and Hoseok cursed under his breath.

“Do you want another?”

“Do I want another? Fuck, Hoseok, just do it. Yes I want another,” Yoongi said, threading his fingers through Hoseok’s hair. Hoseok liked that. He liked his hair pulled, which wasn’t something he ever vocalized, but rather something Yoongi had picked up on. He also liked pulling Yoongi’s hair, and Yoongi had zero complaints.

The ring finger pressed in next to the others and Hoseok pushed them all in and out, lube squelched loudly, and Hoseok moaned over the sound. “So nice, you feel so nice,” Hoseok said in Yoongi’s ear.

“Fucking, fuck me harder,” Yoongi blurted out and Hoseok bit down on his shoulder through his shirt so hard that Yoongi whined and yanked his hair.

Hoseok moaned from deep in his throat and thrust his fingers in farther before finding a rhythm that worked for both of them. Yoongi moved to kiss Hoseok, then, a desperation in it, and felt that with every movement, Hoseok managed to hit the perfect spot inside him. He wasn’t going to last, not like this. Not when he could easily imagine that Hoseok was really inside him, really fucking him.

“Baby,” Hoseok whispered when he broke the kiss. Yoongi was half sure that Hoseok was humping his leg or something and his voice was really deep. “I’m gonna touch you, okay?”

Yoongi was about to reply, but Hoseok pressed in at a new angle, something better, and Yoongi only managed to croak, “Yeah, plea—ah, ah, fuck!” He jerked up and Hoseok ground down, and at the same time Yoongi came he could feel Hoseok shuddering above him.

“Whoa, okay,” Hoseok said. “You, um, ruined your shirt.”

Yoongi groaned one last time and Hoseok pulled his fingers out and sat back. “You ruined your pants,” he said.

Hoseok glared, but shucked off his pants and underwear and wiped down with them before putting on a new pair. Yoongi used the clean leg to clean himself off and moved to go back to his own bed, but Hoseok took his arm. The younger boy got back in the bed and pulled Yoongi in next to him. “Lay with me?”

“I don’t like cuddling,” Yoongi said, but he got back in the bed regardless and turned around so he and Hoseok were facing each other, laying on their sides.

“You liar, everyone likes cuddling. Especially you. You’re like prime cuddling material,” Hoseok said and then yawned and pulled Yoongi closer against his chest. “You’re really warm and soft.”

Yoongi tilted his head up to look at Hoseok. He didn’t understand how he could be so calm after what had just gone down. Maybe it was all just so casual for him that it didn’t matter. Maybe things were just that simple. Yoongi wished it were that simple for him, but when Hoseok lightly kissed him, he knew that things weren’t simple.

Things were messy.

They were messy because Yoongi kissed him back and put a hand on Hoseok’s cheek. They weren’t doing anything sexual anymore, they were just laying together, cuddling, and kissing. Hoseok didn’t kiss Yoongi like he didn’t care. He didn’t kiss him like they were friends, or even friends with benefits. He kissed Yoongi with something a lot like love.

~~~

Present.

“No thanks to you two, our pizza is five minutes away,” Jungkook announced. “Also, I think I’m sober again and it sucks. What time is it?”

“Past ten I think,” Jin answered.

Yoongi was in the living room, watching an old drama rerun and Jin and Jungkook had been playing a card game, but Jungkook had opted out of that to go watch the window for their pizza. Yoongi wasn’t very excited about the prospect of pizza, mostly because Jungkook always ordered weird toppings. Not that Yoongi was a picky eater, but he firmly believed that pineapple did not belong on pizza. Jungkook had other ideas.

“If this pizza is not the best pizza I’ve ever had in my life, I’m going to throw punches,” Jungkook muttered.

“It’s not the delivery guys fault if the pizza sucks,” Yoongi called from the couch.

Jungkook mumbled something Yoongi couldn’t make out, and then, after a few minutes, he shouted, “Ahh! It’s here!” And threw the door open before the delivery guy could even make it to the front porch.

“He is way too excited about pizza,” Yoongi muttered to Jin, who was taking out his wallet.

“I’m hungry too, so I relate,” Jin said.

“Here,” Yoongi heard a voice say from the door. “Um, three pizzas, one cheese, one anchovy, and one…shit, man I don’t even know, just here.”

Yoongi tensed up slightly, but didn’t turn around. The voice sounded familiar, unmistakably so, but there was no way. He was probably just being silly, stupid, so he ignored it.

“Thanks, but what the fuck took so long?”

“I don’t know. I think the people working this late are half stoned,” the other voice said.

“You look familiar,” Jin said.

There was a beat of silence, long and Yoongi gritted his teeth. Don’t turn around. Just stay still.

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you don’t remember me or not, but you can just pay me and I can leave.”

“Hey, dude, you’re like pretty attractive, are you sure you’re not actually a stripper? Because if you are, Jin-hyung will tip you very well,” Jungkook said.

“No, I’m…not a stripper. Um...”

“Oh! Holy shit!” Jin exclaimed. “Hoseok?”

Yoongi folded in on himself on the couch.

“Took you long enough,” the voice said. Except it wasn’t just a voice. It wasn’t just a pizza delivery guy. It was Hoseok. Jung fucking Hoseok.

“You know each other? Cool, so, Hoseok? I told them to send the best looking delivery guy because I was hoping you’d secretly be a stripper. This is a bachelor’s party. For Jin-hyung,” Jungkook continued rambling.

“I’m literally just the pizza delivery guy,” Hoseok said.

“Yoongi!” Jin exclaimed. “What are you doing? I know you can hear us, it’s Hoseok. It’s all coming back to me now!”

“Fuck off,” Yoongi snarled.

“Yoongi!” Jin repeated and he sighed. There was no hiding, because Jin was The Worst. So, he stood up and turned around.

As expected, Hoseok stood in the doorway, but it took Yoongi a second to fully register it. Hoseok was mostly the same, except in a way they had flipped. Hoseok was blonde, and Yoongi now had dark, almost black hair. He was still taller, lithe, and his uniform fit him well enough for Yoongi to see that he was probably still dancing.

“Oh,” Hoseok said softly. It’d been about five years since they’d seen each other, since they’d spoken. The wound was still raw. “Yoongi…wow.”

“You know Yoongi too?” Jungkook asked. Hoseok didn’t break eye contact with Yoongi when Jungkook spoke to him. “Do you know any stories about him? Like embarrassing dating stuff, he won’t tell us anything.”

“Well, Yoongi and I used to…I don’t know? What did we decide to call it, in the end?” Hoseok asked Yoongi. He pretended to think about it for a second, and then held his finger up in the air. “Oh, right. You called it ‘nothing’. It was nothing.”

Yoongi stepped forward and took the pizza from Jungkook. “So, how much is the pizza?” he asked. “I’ll pay for it.”

“I’m just the pizza delivery guy, but this is my last delivery. I was just going to go home after this,” Hoseok said. He looked at Jin. “Congrats on getting married, by the way.”

“You want to stay?” Jin asked eagerly. “You’re welcome to!”

Hoseok looked at Yoongi, and smiled, but it wasn’t very friendly. “Sure. If that’s okay?”

“Of course, come in!” Jin stepped aside and Hoseok came in and untucked his uniform shirt from his dark jeans and then pulled it over his head, so he was just wearing a white undershirt. “Hoseok, do you still dance?” Jin asked.

“Yeah, sometimes,” he answered.

“You dance! Okay, like what do I have to do to convince you to give Yoongi-hyung a lap dance? I’ll sell my soul.”

“Who is this kid?” Hoseok asked Jin.

“Jeon Jungkook, sarcasm generator. Nice to meet you,” Jungkook said. “Did you and Yoongi used to fuck?” Yoongi covered his face with his hands and groaned. “Also, seriously. Will you give him a lap dance?”

“Uh…” Hoseok glanced at Yoongi for a second and followed Jungkook as he walked into the dining room and Yoongi set down the pizza boxes. Jungkook opened the one that had a bunch of weird toppings and started eating. “Isn’t the person getting married supposed to be the one who gets the stripper?”

“Yeah, but Jin-hyung is no fun and I think it would be substantially more entertaining if it were Yoongi anyway. We have alcohol. Birthday cake flavored vodka,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah, I’m not drunk enough right now,” Hoseok said and Jin laughed.

“It’s good to see you, though, seriously. You’ve been good?” Jin asked.

“Not that good, considering I’m delivering pizza,” Hoseok answered and Jin hummed. Then, he went to go get more alcohol or something and Jungkook trailed after him, and Yoongi and Hoseok were alone, if only for a moment. “Long time no see,” Hoseok said.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Yoongi said.

Hoseok laughed darkly. “That would have meant a lot more five years ago, but okay. You look good. I’m glad you and Jin are still friends.”

“How…how is your sister? With everything?”

Hoseok looked away. “Not good, there was a problem and—” he stopped talking when Jin came back in the room.

Then they all sat back down and ate pizza and drank more bad beer. Yoongi tried to concentrate on his food, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off Hoseok. He wasn’t even really being subtle about it, either, and every so often Hoseok would meet his eyes and then turn back to Jin or Jungkook, whichever one of them was talking.

“I think,” Hoseok said after they’d eaten, “that I am sufficiently drunk and also still in shock that I’m actually here, considering I thought I’d never see either of you again.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us,” Yoongi said, standing to take the leftover pizza to the fridge. When he came back, the others were in the living room, so Yoongi plopped down on the only empty space, which was on the loveseat next to Hoseok.

“Hyung, guess what?” Jungkook asked.

“Do I want to know?” Yoongi asked Jin. His friend was smiling and his eyes looked a little bit mischievous, which was never a good thing.

“You probably do not want to know,” Jin said. “But tell him anyway.”

“So, as it turns out your dear old friend Hoseok is a Team Player because he said he’d give you a lap dance. If I tip him. Which I will. Or, Jin will, but whatever,” Jungkook announced.

“If you’re down,” Hoseok said casually. Casually, casually, casually. Fuck casual. “I’m not a stripper, I’m literally just the pizza guy, but yeah, I’ll give you a lap dance. I’m not taking my clothes off though.”

“You can’t con someone you just met into making them give someone a lap dance. Hoseok isn’t like…a hooker,” Yoongi said, but Hoseok was standing up.

“It’ll be funny! I didn’t con him into anything! He’s just a cool guy and like, Yoongi…he’s hot, so just agree.”

“Yeah, Yoongi, I’m hot,” Hoseok said teasingly.

“How did we get to this point?” Yoongi muttered. “I was gone for five seconds.”

“You were gone for five years,” Hoseok corrected. “Come on, it’s whatever. It’ll make Jin laugh.”

Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut. His ears were ringing, and he was pretty sure Jungkook and Jin were chanting for him to do it. Hoseok was clearly trying to get back at him in some twisted way, and it was working. Yoongi was still weak for him. For his deep brown eyes and rough accented voice and his thighs, and the way he laughed. The way his hands felt intertwined with Yoongi’s.

“Fine, whatever,” Yoongi said. “But no one is going to find your body tomorrow, Jungkook.”

“Worth it.”

Jin got out his phone and Yoongi shot him the finger when he pointed it at Yoongi and Hoseok. And Hoseok was smirking down at Yoongi and climbing into his lap and Jungkook started playing some overly sexual song and Yoongi was fairly certain he was having a fever dream or something.

~~~

Before.

Several weeks passed after the fingering incident with little to no further developments. They woke up after it all and everything was normal, like it always was. They went to classes, and continued on with their arrangement.

However, about two weeks after the incident, when Yoongi got back to their dorm, it smelled like weed and Hoseok was passed on asleep on his bed. Yoongi couldn’t find the weed, and he didn’t really care if Hoseok was smoking it, but he’d never seen him do it before. Sure, he’d mentioned it, but that was all. So Yoongi lit a candle and ignored it.

Another week after that, Yoongi noticed that Hoseok was distant, if only just a little. He was quieter in the dorm and rougher in bed. Dark circles bloomed under his eyes and his lips were cracked.

Two more weeks later, Yoongi felt like he hadn’t seen Hoseok in ages. He would text, saying he was busy studying. Yoongi started to wonder if Hoseok was seeing someone, but that didn’t seem to be the case. He wasn’t happy. He was the opposite. Yoongi wasn’t sure what to do about it, but he wanted to do something. He wanted Hoseok to be happy.

The streak of not seeing Hoseok included a night in which Hoseok slipped in Yoongi’s bed around midnight. Yoongi groaned and rolled over and looked at Hoseok through sleepy eyes. “What’re you doing?” Yoongi asked.

Hoseok touched Yoongi’s thigh as an answer and licked up his neck, hot and wet. “Want you,” Hoseok said simply.

“Okay,” Yoongi answered.

They gave each other messy hand jobs under the sheets and Hoseok grunted through it, keeping back any loud sounds he wanted to make. “Fuck Yoongi,” he said when Yoongi was close and Hoseok was closer. “I want to fuck you.”

He didn’t, though, they came a few seconds later, but Yoongi heard loud and clear. He heard it ringing in his ears in the morning and throughout the next three days.

Friday afternoon, Yoongi was down in the cafeteria, eating, and noticed Hoseok gathering up a tray of food. Yoongi waved him over and Hoseok dropped his tray down with a thud and shrugged off his backpack. “Hey, hyung,” Hoseok muttered.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked, for the first time.

Hoseok breathed out through his nose. “Just stressed out, I’m fine,” he answered. “Yoongi.”

“Hmm?”

“Yoongi, I want to have sex with you,” Hoseok stated. There wasn’t much emotion behind the words at all and when Yoongi looked up at him with shocked eyes, he saw that there wasn’t much emotion on his face, either.

“We have sex all the time,” Yoongi replied.

“No,” Hoseok said. His hands were flat against the table and his gaze was unwavering. “I want to have actual sex with you. I want to fuck you.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, whatever. We might as well. If you want to, then fine.”

Hoseok relaxed his shoulders and leaned back. He didn’t say anything else the entire time they sat there eating. And when Hoseok was done, he got up without a word and left the cafeteria. Yoongi felt cold, a little bit sick, and very confused.

When he got back to the dorm, Hoseok was laying on his stomach with his face buried in his pillow. “Um, Hoseokie?”

Hoseok let out a muffled sound and then sat up. His back was to Yoongi, but Yoongi saw him wipe his arm over his nose and he sniffled loudly. “What, Yoongi?”

Yoongi shifted on his feet. “I bought…I bought some condoms.”

Hoseok turned around and faced Yoongi. His eyes were red and puffy. He’d clearly been crying. “I have condoms, Yoongi, but okay,” Hoseok said and stood up.

Yoongi walked over to Hoseok and blinked down at him. “Hoseokie.”

A tear rolled down Hoseok’s cheek as he looked up at Yoongi. He was usually so big and loud and an overall presence, but right then he looked small and weak. Yoongi wiped his thumb across Hoseok’s cheek, swiping the stray tear away. Hoseok choked back a sob and then fell into Yoongi’s body, wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist and took a shuddering breath.

It was fine. Hoseok was his best friend. He was hurting and Yoongi needed to comfort him.

So he brushed Hoseok’s hair off his face and rubbed his back. Hoseok clung to him so tightly that his nails dug into Yoongi’s back. He was shaking and Yoongi could feel the dampness of his tears on his shirt.

“Yoongi. Yoongi promise me…promise me you won’t stop being my friend, ever,” Hoseok sobbed.

“Of course, I promise,” Yoongi said without hesitation.

“I—” Hoseok cut off with another sob. “Thank you.”

Yoongi held Hoseok for a long time. They fell asleep wound together and damp with tears and they woke up the same way. They woke up and Hoseok acted like he was fine. He didn’t say what he’d been upset about, or what the promise had been about. He just went back to being his usual smiling, happy self and Yoongi didn’t know what to say.

Three days past of Hoseok being his usual self and one night, like clockwork, Yoongi crawled into Hoseok’s bed and they sat and watched a movie on Hoseok’s laptop, but after about ten minutes, they were kissing instead.

Hoseok’s hand was curling under Yoongi’s shirt, pushing the fabric up, and simultaneously exploring Yoongi’s mouth with his tongue. They kissed slow, a little bit hesitantly, and then Hoseok pulled back and helped Yoongi take his shirt off. Yoongi helped Hoseok do the same and even though they were still dressed from the waist down, Yoongi knew it was going to happen that night.

“You’re beautiful, Yoongi,” Hoseok said. Yoongi was about to thank him, or some dumb shit like that, but Hoseok kissed him again and slowly laid Yoongi back on the bed.

It didn’t take Hoseok long to get Yoongi naked the rest of the way, and himself and then he laid back down on top of Yoongi to kiss his jaw, all the way down to his navel. “Your mouth, fuck,” Yoongi said. “Who said you could have a mouth like that?”

“Genetics,” Hoseok answered.

Yoongi snickered. “Sarcastic asshole.”

“I know you are, but what am I?” Hoseok shot back.

“I knew sex with you was going to be like this,” Yoongi said. “Lots of talking.”

“I talk all the time, so naturally I’m not going to stop during sex. Don’t worry, once I put my dick in you, you’ll feel so good it won’t matter.” Hoseok licked up Yoongi’s chest and stopped to suck on his collarbone.

“That’s very confident of you.”

“I’m a confident person, that’s why you like me,” Hoseok mumbled.

Yoongi sighed and closed his eyes, letting his hands do the work his mouth couldn’t with Hoseok occupying his collarbone and neck. “I kind of have wanted this for a long time,” Yoongi admitted. “I really want to feel you inside me.”

“Well you’re gonna,” Hoseok said.

And he didn’t lie.

Hoseok went slow, carefully stretching Yoongi open and alternating between saying soothing and dirty things to Yoongi. Yoongi forced himself not to fall apart too soon, bracing his feet on the mattress and curling his toes every time Hoseok moved.

“Fuck, could come like this,” Yoongi said. “Hurry, I don’t even remember the last time I got fucked, I want it to be you.”

Hoseok started laughing then and Yoongi glared up at him. “Sorry, that made me think ‘get fucked’ and then I thought ‘get rekt’ and…yeah sorry, anyway. Cool, I’ll stick my dick in you now,” he said with another laugh.

“It’s a miracle I’m still hard right now,” Yoongi muttered.

Hoseok smirked and reached for the condoms and lube. He complained about not being able to open the packet, so Yoongi begrudgingly did it for him, and then Hoseok put the condom on and Yoongi lubed him up.

“You’re sure?” Hoseok asked as he bent Yoongi’s legs up to his chest.

“I’m sure. Make me feel good.”

“I always do, babe,” Hoseok winked and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

In all honestly, Yoongi wasn’t completely sure what he expected out of sex with Jung Hoseok. He supposed he had ideas, thoughts of how he might have wanted it to be, but he didn’t really expect the way Hoseok started out so…slow.

Not slow in a bad way, just careful. Intimate, more so than their other encounters. His hand slid up Yoongi’s arm and captured his hand and their fingers intertwined together. Hoseok kissed Yoongi on the mouth once. When he leaned back, the softness was gone from his face and he was bottomed out and Yoongi felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“You want it hard, baby?” Hoseok asked.

“Yes,” Yoongi gasped out.

Hoseok delivered. His hips slapped against Yoongi’s ass rapidly and Yoongi lifted himself off the bed to meet the thrusts. He whimpered with each one, mouth open and hands digging into Hoseok’s back hard enough that he felt the sticky sensation of blood.

“Hobi…fuck…” Yoongi moved his hands and spread himself, but a second later, Hoseok pulled out and dragged Yoongi on top.

“Ride me, baby,” Hoseok said. His hands smoothed over Yoongi’s thighs. His eyes roamed between the glinting piercing Yoongi had and the rest of his body. “How come I’ve never seen all of you until now? You’re so pretty.”

“Fuck you,” Yoongi muttered, but his stupid fucking dick betrayed him.

“I know you like being called pretty, now come on, sit on my cock.”

“I can’t believe I even like you,” Yoongi mumbled. “With your stupid snapbacks and drop crotch pants.”

“And big dick.”

“I don’t like you anymore. However, I will sit on your cock because I still like that part of you,” Yoongi said and lined himself up before sinking down.

Hoseok moaned, grabbed Yoongi’s waist and guided him down until he was sitting completely. “That’s good, shit, I wish we could be louder, but the walls here are—fuck—so thin,” Hoseok complained.

“You’ve never held back before. Everyone on this floor knows we’re fucking,” Yoongi said.

“You’re right, now bounce,” Hoseok said, slapping Yoongi swiftly on the ass.

It wasn’t necessary in the slightest, but Yoongi bent down and kissed Hoseok again. He kissed him breathless. Kissed him like Hoseok was his air and he’d been drowning.

Kissed him so that when he pulled away, Hoseok pouted.

That was when Yoongi started to bounce and threw his head back in pleasure. It was hard to time everything, to keep track of the order in which their bodies moved. Everything flowed together. Hoseok thrusting up, Yoongi asking for more, kisses on sweaty skin, and Hoseok sitting up to press their bodies flush together, the friction of Yoongi’s cock against Hoseok’s stomach, the way Hoseok sounded when Yoongi tugged on his hair and Yoongi’s breathless, “Hobi, fuck, fuck, yes. T-there…yes, yeah, there.”

“Pretty baby, fuck you’ve ruined me for everyone else,” Hoseok said at some point. “I-I’m gonna fuckin’…gonna fuckin’ ride you one day.”

Yoongi’s eyes opened a sliver. Hoseok’s head was thrown back and Yoongi was holding it there, pulling his brown hair. Yoongi kissed Hoseok’s neck sloppily. He’d never heard Hoseok’s accent come out as much as it was coming out right then.

“Yes,” Yoongi was only able to respond with that.

He was only able to let Hoseok lift his hips and thrust up while Yoongi jerked himself off until he came hard enough to miss seeing Hoseok come too. He was only able to kiss Hoseok, closed mouth, as he came down from their high. They were both covered in sweat and Yoongi’s head was pounding and his stomach was fluttering with something he didn’t recognize.

Hoseok was stroking Yoongi’s back, those damn hands drawing miscellaneous shapes. Yoongi thought maybe some of them were hearts. “Yoongi,” Hoseok whispered. “Yoongi, how come you don’t want to date anyone?”

Yoongi rested his forehead on Hoseok’s shoulder and draped his arms around him, still in his lap. “Because it’s fucking dumb. Nothing can come of it,” Yoongi said. “I don’t…love isn’t real.”

“That’s sad to believe that.”

“Why should anyone love me? Why should I bother? It’s not that…not that I don’t want to, but I can’t. Okay? I can’t,” Yoongi said plainly.

“Someone else should because you’re caring and funny and hot and you don’t take anyone’s shit,” Hoseok said. Yoongi swallowed and lifted himself off Hoseok’s lap and scooted away from him.

“Caring about someone isn’t loving them,” Yoongi stated. “I care about you, Hoseok, you know I do.”

Hoseok looked away. “Wow, okay, I really know how to kill the mood. Uh. Need a washcloth or something?”

Yoongi nodded. Hoseok got up and threw away the condom before pulling on his pants and finding a towel and leaving the room for a few moments.

“I…” Yoongi spoke in the empty room. His voice sounded wrong, sad, worn out. “I love you,” he said. “Hoseok, I—”

The door opened again and Yoongi jumped as Hoseok tossed him the towel, now damp and warm. “Did you say my name?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, I said, ‘Hoseok cries during sex’,” Yoongi said sarcastically. Hoseok hit him with his pillow.

“I do fucking not, what the fuck,” he said with a laugh. “Go to sleep or something and stop being mean to me.”

Hoseok turned his back to Yoongi and picked up Yoongi’s clothes from the floor and handed them to him before finding the laptop and properly turning it off. Yoongi put his clothes back on and watched the back of Hoseok’s head as he sat cross legged on Hoseok bed. He watched the movement of Hoseok’s muscles in his back as he stretched his arm out to unplug the laptop and then scoot it somewhere where they wouldn’t step on it.

Yoongi was starting to wonder if being roommates with Hoseok had been a bad idea. For the first time, he felt unsure of what they were. And he couldn’t even escape back to his own room because he was already there.

“Hey, do you know where I put my phone?” Hoseok asked.

“Desk?” Yoongi suggested. Hoseok groaned and looked over at his desk, which was barely an arms distance away, but he didn’t seem willing to get it. Yoongi rolled his eyes and crawled off the bed and went to the desk, opening the drawers, and pulling out Hoseok’s cell phone and tossing it to him before sitting back down on the bed next to Hoseok.

“Thanks, you’re the best,” Hoseok said and then, with a bright smile, he kissed Yoongi on the cheek, one hand on the other side of his face in a gesture much too fond. Then he pulled away and looked at Yoongi right in the eyes.

He had a look on his face that was the kind of look someone gives another person right before they kiss them for the first time. Except, Yoongi and Hoseok had kissed plenty of times. So, Yoongi looked away and Hoseok’s hand fell away from his face and Yoongi crawled under the covers because fuck it, they’d shared a bed before.

Hoseok remained there on the edge of the bed for several long minutes, typing into his phone, before he finally turned out the light and curled an arm around Yoongi with a whispered, “Goodnight.”

In the morning, Yoongi woke up with his head resting on Hoseok’s chest and Hoseok brushing his hand through Yoongi’s hair, clearly awake. Yoongi looked up at him and Hoseok was, sure enough, wide awake. For some reason, it was cold in their dorm, but Yoongi pried himself away from Hoseok anyway and propped himself up on his elbows.

“Are we going to be late for class?” Yoongi asked, looking around the room. “What time is it?”

“You might be late,” Hoseok said.

“You too, you have class in the morning,” Yoongi reminded him.

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. Oh well,” Hoseok chewed on his lip and then flickered his eyes to meet Yoongi’s. “Last night was good,” he said next.

“Mhm,” Yoongi said. “Should do it again sometime.”

Hoseok smiled and bent his head up to capture Yoongi’s lips.

No kissing outside of hooking up, Yoongi’s brain screams at him. Because they weren’t hooking up right then. Sure, they were in bed together, but it wasn’t the same.

Maybe a lot of things weren’t the same after that, though.

~~~

Present.

The whole lap dance ordeal started out funny. Hoseok was half laughing during the beginning of it, and he mostly just moved his hips is ridiculous ways. He wasn’t doing anything like he meant it. However, he was very, very close to Yoongi anyway, even if his legs were situated to where they were almost-but-not-quite touching Yoongi and he was only hovering over him. They weren’t touching at all.

Jungkook was having a blast though. He was laughing so loud that it rivaled Jin’s laughter, and Jin’s laughter was usually the one that was loudest. “Hyung, you look so uncomfortable, oh my god,” Jungkook shouted and pointed. “Wait till you see your face in the video!”

Hoseok paused then and sat, fucking sat, in Yoongi’s lap. “I’ll stop if you’re uncomfortable,” he said with a small smile.

“You’re not even doing anything,” Yoongi challenged.

“Oh shit, the stakes have been risen,” Jungkook said. “Will Hoseok up his game? Will Yoongi continue to pretend he’s unfazed?”

“Do you want another shot?” Jin asked between giggles.

“No,” Yoongi replied.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow and raised up again, his hands on the back of the couch on either side of Yoongi’s head. He undulated his hips forward, once, twice, slow and fluid and undeniable sexual. Not joking at all. “Just so you know, I don’t go around giving random people lap dances,” Hoseok said seriously.

“I’m not a random person.”

Hoseok ground down, dangerously close to actually brushing Yoongi’s crotch. “Right, well, I don’t go around giving the people I used to have sex with lap dances either,” Hoseok amended.

“Oh shit!” Jungkook howled. “The truth is revealed!”

Hoseok’s lips parted, still the same lips, unfairly beautiful, and he continued to move. Slower this time, less erratic and jovial and more blatantly sexual. “You know,” Hoseok murmured. “You never did see me dance.”

“You never offered,” Yoongi croaked in response.

“This is for sure going to beat whatever Namjoon did tonight,” Jin said to Jungkook. “Thanks for being a team player, Hoseok.”

“Blame it on the alcohol,” Hoseok answered without breaking eye contact with Yoongi. He went on for a few minutes, changing positions once or twice and Yoongi had to close his eyes and concentrate on something that wasn’t Hoseok, most prominently, his other friend’s laughing at them, because otherwise certain body parts would betray him, considering Hoseok was essentially just grinding on him.

When he did open his eyes again, he realized one of his hands was gripping Hoseok by the waist. Behind Hoseok, Jungkook was doing some kind of weird dance and Jin was filming him instead and Hoseok was, actually, still in Yoongi’s lap again.

“My friends are idiots,” Yoongi said quietly. Hoseok laughed and got off Yoongi’s lap, taking his warmth with him.

“I can’t argue with that,” Hoseok said.

“Aren’t you...shouldn’t you have gone back and clocked out at work?”

“I did, this was the last delivery, my boss said if I did it I could just pocket the cash I got from it. I swear I didn’t know Jin lived here. The name on the order was ‘Justin Seagull’ and I don’t even want to know what the fuck that means,” Hoseok explained.

“Oh, is the lap dance over?” Jungkook asked, ceasing his dancing.

“Yeah, Yoongi started getting handsy,” Hoseok stated and Yoongi gaped at him. “Where’s your bathroom?”

“Down that hall to the left,” Jin said and Hoseok thanked him before rounding the corner. Yoongi maybe stared at his butt as he went.

“I like him. I would like to initiate him into our friend group,” Jungkook announced.

“Technically, he was a part of the friend group before you,” Jin said. “I mean, we all knew him before we knew you.”

“Dude. Hyung. That’s a low blow,” Jungkook put his hand over his heart. “I’m going to have to uninitiate you.”

“I’m the backbone of the friend group, it’ll fall apart without me,” Jin snapped.

“You know, we don’t tolerate that kind of attitude here, do we Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook asked but Yoongi waved him off and stood up to go down the hall. Jungkook and Jin didn’t notice, or care, and continued talking without him.

Yoongi stood outside the bathroom, listening to the faucet run, until the door opened and Hoseok stepped out. It was dim in the hallway and Hoseok didn’t notice Yoongi standing there until Yoongi touched his arm. Hoseok jumped nearly ten feet in the air.

“Don’t sneak up on me!” Hoseok hissed. “You know I’m a scaredy-cat.”

“At least now you’re admitting it,” Yoongi said with a small smile.

Hoseok shoved his hands into his pockets. “What did you want?”

“This is weird,” Yoongi said carefully. “I thought I’d never see you again, and now here you are, in my friend’s house the night before he’s getting married because you delivered us pizza and…you’re blonde. It looks good.”

“It’s embarrassing more than it is weird. I swear I don’t just deliver pizza. It’s a side thing. Are you in music or…?”

“Medicine,” Yoongi corrected.

Hoseok scrunched up his nose in distaste. “What the fuck? Why?”

“I changed majors and went into nursing. Jin is still studying, but I’m not.”

“You hate working with people,” Hoseok said. “You didn’t change because I left, did you?”

“No,” Yoongi lied. “I changed because it was the better option.”

“Better for who?”

“Everyone,” Yoongi said. “What are you doing, other than pizza delivering, then?”

“I teach dance at a creative art, or whatever it’s called, school. For like, younger kids. As you know, teachers don’t get paid for shit, so…” Hoseok trailed off and looked off down the hallway.

“Do you hate me?” Yoongi asked suddenly.

Hoseok met his eyes again and shook his head. “No, of course I don’t. I was the one who left, not you.”

“But I was the one who told you…who didn’t even try,” Yoongi said. “And I should have, because I—”

“Hey! Are you guys making out back there because if so, I’m going to have to ask you to do so outside the premises of my home,” Jin called. “If not, I would like to invite Hoseok to the wedding tomorrow, if he wants to come.”

Hoseok gave Yoongi a look he couldn’t decipher and then they emerged back into the living room. “You don’t have any room to invite him,” Jungkook said. “Do you?”

“Yeah, Yoongi doesn’t have a date, and I gave him a plus one. Hoseok can come as his date,” Jin said. “Also, how do you even know my seating chart?”

“I rearranged it so that I would be at the table with your parents,” Jungkook deadpanned. Jin stared at him, as if trying to decide if he was serious or not.

“I really don’t want to intrude,” Hoseok said.

“You wouldn’t be intruding!” Jin assured him. “Please come!”

“I don’t really have a suit…”

“Just wear a nice dress shirt, it’s fine. You don’t have to be fancy.”

Hoseok looked at Yoongi and back to Jin, and then back to Yoongi another time. Yoongi sighed. He’d been a colossal asshole. He never thought he would be able to make things right, but maybe, just maybe he could, now.

“I’d really like it if you came,” Yoongi said. “I don’t want to have to sit by myself while everyone else is dancing and shit.”

“Um, well, if I’m your date, then you’ll be up dancing too,” Hoseok pointed out with a smile. Then he looked back at Jin. “Sure, I’d really like to go.”

~~~

Before.

“You seem weird,” Jin said.

Jin was at Yoongi and Hoseok’s dorm after having taken an exam of some sort. Hoseok wasn’t there, was maybe having lunch, so for the moment it was just Jin and Yoongi, Jin sitting in one of the desk chairs and Yoongi on Hoseok’s bed, scrolling through the crap music on Jin’s phone.

“Weird how?” Yoongi asked.

“Just, kind of happy?”

Yoongi scoffed. “Am I not allowed to be happy?”

“No, you’re just less sulky than usual. How are things with Hoseok? Does it have something to do with that?” Jin swiveled back and forth with interest.

“Things with Hoseok are the same as they always are?” Yoongi said. “What does that even mean?”

“Nothing, I’m just glad that you found someone, that’s all.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Yoongi said snappishly.

Jin seemed ready to argue, but the door opened then and Hoseok came in with a closed mouthed smile pointed Yoongi’s way. “Hey!” he greeted. He looked sweaty and the tips of his bangs were damp. Maybe he’d been dancing, but Yoongi could have sworn that he was supposed to have  had a science class of some sort. “Yoongi, that shirt looks cute on you, is it—” Hoseok broke off and noticed Jin. “Oh, Jin-hyung, hi.”

“Hey, sorry, I can go?”

“No, it’s fine you’re welcome in our dorm anytime,” Hoseok said and sat down next to Yoongi on the bed, close. Too close. “What’re we talking about?” Hoseok asked and nudged Yoongi with his shoulder.

Yoongi placed a hand on Hoseok’s thigh on impulse. “Nothing, really,” Yoongi lied. “Where’ve you been, you’re all gross?”

“I had to run across campus,” Hoseok said. “That’s why I’m sweaty.” Hoseok narrowed his eyes slightly and then reached up and plucked a piece of fuzz from Yoongi’s hair.

“Go take a shower,” Yoongi said, scooting away.

“Whatever, fine, but I know you think I’m sexy like this,” Hoseok winked and then grabbed some things before heading out of the room for the showers. Yoongi rolled his eyes when the door closed.

“You’re totally fucking him, aren’t you?” Jin asked after about ten seconds.

“No!” Yoongi said. Then, quieter, “He’s fucking me.”

Jin closed his eyes and shook his head. “How many times?”

“That’s gross. Why are you asking?” Jin just stared back. “Fine, only once. Two days ago. I think…I think he wants to, you know, switch. Which, whatever, I’m not against it but I’m pretty sure he’s never done that and I don’t want to…make him think this is more than what it is.”

“And what is it?” Jin asked.

Yoongi looked down at his hands. It was nothing, nothing, nothing.

It was everything, everything, everything.

“Do you love Namjoon?” Yoongi asked softly.

“Um. We’re broken up right now, but…yes, I do,” Jin said. “I’m gonna work things out with him.”

“I think I love Hoseok,” Yoongi admitted. “I think I really love him, but I don’t want to.”

“Why the fuck not? He’s clearly crazy about you, too.”

“I don’t know!” Yoongi said in exasperation. “I don’t want to hurt him, or vice versa. I don’t want to have to explain it to everyone. It’s all just complicated.”

“Are you still scarred over the junior year of high school incident? That guy you liked and your parents caught you with him and…all that?” Jin asked.

“Fucking probably, look, I don’t want to talk about this.”

And so they didn’t. Because Jin knew better than to try and push Yoongi to talk about something he didn’t want to talk about. Because, probably, Jin thought that Yoongi would come to his senses. Jin had way too much faith in Yoongi.

Separately, Yoongi and Hoseok fuck two more times and almost a third time after the first. The two other times were just as good as the first, if not better. The second time they fuck, it was, somehow, in the studio Hoseok had rented out to dance in when Yoongi went to pick him up. Yoongi wasn’t sure if the place had cameras, but he literally could not have cared less at the time. How could he, when Hoseok held him up against the mirrored wall and fucked him senseless.

The third time was in their dorm again, early in the morning instead of late at night. It was slower, careful, and sleepy and Hoseok kissed Yoongi afterwards and then rested their foreheads together. They stayed in bed together, awake, for an hour afterwards before they had to get up. They talked between kisses that were dangerous, scary, and beautiful.

In between the third time they fucked and the almost fourth time, Hoseok’s behavior got weird. He acted normal around Yoongi, but a little bit sketchy, at the same time. He hadn’t been working on any school work, and Yoongi began to wonder if his friend was even going to classes. He texted someone profusely on his phone, but Yoongi never asked him about it because he didn’t want to seem jealous.

Sometimes, Yoongi would catch him with a look on his face that could only be described as sorrow. If Yoongi ever asked Hoseok if he was okay, he assured Yoongi he was. Yoongi even once wrapped his arms around Hoseok from behind one morning while Hoseok was getting dressed. His back was warm against Yoongi’s cheek.

“I don’t like seeing you like this,” Yoongi whispered.

“Like what?” Hoseok asked, frozen in place.

“I don’t know. You don’t seem like yourself. I wanna make you feel better.”

Hoseok wiggled around in Yoongi’s embrace to face him. “There’s nothing wrong. Don’t worry about me.”

Yoongi pouted, not believing a word Jung Hoseok was saying to him in that moment. But then, Hoseok placed a finger under Yoongi’s chin and tilted his head up a millimeter. And he kissed Yoongi’s pout away. He kissed it away and then held Yoongi closer, pulling him into a hug like one they’d never really had before.

“’Seok…” Yoongi murmured against his chest.

“I have to go, I’ll see you later, okay?” Hoseok said. “Everything is fine, I promise.”

So Yoongi believed him, because Hoseok wasn’t one to break a promise.

Later that same day, Yoongi was making his way back to the dorm after class and he noticed Hoseok standing by a little grey car. A girl stood in front of him, her back to the car and she was holding Hoseok’s hand in hers. Yoongi was too far away to make out her face well, or to hear what they were saying, but he wanted to know.

He wanted to know so bad that his feet carried him there and, ashamed for snooping, he touched Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok turned to him, but he didn’t look caught. The girl didn’t drop Hoseok’s hand, she just gripped it tighter and looked at Yoongi with a question in her eyes.

“Hey,” Yoongi said dumbly.

Hoseok looked at Yoongi solemnly. “Uh, hyung, hi, this is um…” Hoseok looked back at the girl and Yoongi did too and he realized with a jolt how stupid he was. “This is my sister.”

“Oh!” Yoongi exclaimed loudly. “Hoseok has told me so much about you, it’s nice to meet you,” Yoongi said and bowed slightly.

“Yoongi? You’re Hoseok’s roommate, right?”

“Yes.”

Hoseok’s sister smiled, a little bit sad, and let go of her brother’s hand. “I’m Dawon. It’s nice to meet you. Hoseok talks about you, also. He’s very fond of you.”

Yoongi blushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said and looked between brother and sister. “I’ll leave you to talk.” He looked Dawon up and down once and noticed that her shirt fit a little weird, a little too small and then, she must have noticed him looking, because she put her hand over her stomach and looked away.

Hoseok didn’t mention anything else about his sister when he got back to the dorm. He just got in bed and fell asleep pretty quickly and didn’t wake up until the next day. They went out together that day, down into the city and walked around, looking in shops and having lunch. It was late when they got back to the dorm and Hoseok pulled Yoongi along behind him to their room.

He wore a smile on his face and when he closed the door behind them, he pushed Yoongi against the door and kissed him furiously, with enough passion to nearly make Yoongi lose his footing. “Yoongi, I need you, please,” Hoseok breathed against his lips. “I need you so bad.”

Yoongi pulled Hoseok’s shirt off, over his head, and switched their positions so Hoseok was up against the door instead. Hoseok moaned and Yoongi began to kiss his neck and chest. “I need you, too,” Yoongi said through kisses. It was as close as he could get to an ‘I love you’.

Hoseok pushed Yoongi back to the bed and climbed into his lap before presuming kissing him. They kissed for a long time, took their clothes off slow. When Hoseok was only in his boxers and Yoongi was still in his pants, Hoseok broke the kiss they were in.

“Yoongi, can you fuck me?” he asked. Yoongi choked on nothing and started coughing, turning his head to the side so he wouldn’t cough in Hoseok’s face. “Come on,” Hoseok said, changing his tone to less nervous to more sultry. His Sex Voice. “Don’t you wanna feel me around you? Let me ride you ‘till we come?”

“Why? Why do you want that so bad?” Yoongi asked. “Don’t tell me it’s because I have a dick piercing because I’ll never let you fuck me again.”

“I like fucking you, but, I don’t know, I want you inside me. I—”

“It’s not that—”

“Couples switch, Yoongi,” Hoseok pointed out before Yoongi could finish.

“We aren’t a couple,” Yoongi said.

“Sexual partners. Whatever, god,” Hoseok muttered.

“It’s not that I’m so ignorant minded that I think I have to bottom forever, and besides, I’m sure you’d still be topping even if I’m fucking you because you’re fucking aggressive as shit. I just…no,” Yoongi said.

“No?”

“No.”

Hoseok blinked. “Is it me?” He slumped in Yoongi’s lap.

“Look, I’ll just suck you off, okay? Maybe having sex was a bad idea to begin with,” Yoongi muttered and that, that was what made Hoseok get off of his lap as if he were on fire.

“Tell me why. Tell me why it was a bad idea,” Hoseok demanded.

“I—I can’t do this. I can’t keep doing this to you,” Yoongi said.

“You care about me,” Hoseok said softly.

“I told you I did, what the fuck does that matter?”

“No, you care about me,” Hoseok repeated. Yoongi felt his palms start to sweat. It was too dark in the room and Yoongi wanted to run, run, run. “Yoongi, I care about you, too.”

Yoongi stood up abruptly and looked around for his shirt, which he found and put back on. “I know you do,” Yoongi said. “But we aren’t together, Hoseok. You need to find someone else. Find someone who isn’t a friend with benefits.”

“Where are you going?” Hoseok asked when Yoongi reached for the door. “Don’t leave, please. I’ll shut up. I won’t talk about it anymore. Fuck, where are my clothes?” Hoseok looked around the room frantically.

“I think I should go somewhere else right now, okay? So we don’t end up doing something we’ll regret.”

“I don’t regret anything we’ve done,” Hoseok said softly. “Please stay.”

“I’m going to go to Jin’s,” Yoongi said and then reached out and took Hoseok’s hand in his. “For the record, I don’t regret it either. I don’t want to regret anything, either, so…please let me go.”

“Yoongi, I lo—“ Hoseok stopped himself and Yoongi dropped his hand.

And then, the next thing Yoongi knew, he was at Jin’s apartment. Jin, being the great friend that he was, didn’t question it. He just let Yoongi crash on the couch and that was that. That was that for three days instead of just one night, though.

Three days of eating Jin’s cooking and listening to him studying for complicated things that made Yoongi’s head throb. Three days of texts from Hoseok, worried and concerned.

Hobi:

11:13 hey so I just want to make sure ur ok

11:16 and that u don’t hate me

1:17 we can forget that conversation happened

1:18 I mean what conversation? Idk any conversations we had

1:19 haha?

7:57 never mind I don’t want to forget it bc what I said I meant.

10:00 fuck Yoongi this is fuckin stupid

3:00 im smking weed right now ur realy anoying fck u bye

3:01 fuck fkuc fkcu me

When day four rolled around, Yoongi was on his way back to the dorms, albeit he was taking his time. Hoseok had texted him that morning, too.

Hobi:

9:15 okay. I need to talk to you. in person.

9:20 it’s important.

Yoongi didn’t know what Hoseok was trying to pull, but he figured it was just Hoseok trying to get him to come back. So, he went to class first. He sat through two hours of class and then two more and finally, he went back to the dorm.

He passed by someone else from their floor on the way up. “Hey, dude, something happen with you and your boyfriend?” they asked.

“What?”

“Roommate, whatever you guys are. He’s got shit all out in the hallway,” the stranger explained.

Yoongi shrugged a shoulder, but quickened his pace slightly. On their floor, he found Hoseok in their room, pulling the sheets off his bed and then, when that proved too much work, he picked up his little lava lamp from the desk.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Yoongi asked.

Hoseok looked up at him and sighed in relief. “I thought you wouldn’t come back,” Hoseok said and stood up, the little lava lamp in his hand.

“I just needed to think, by myself. Or I mean…technically with Jin, but he mostly just made me food and stuff. Anyway, what’re you doing?” Yoongi looked in the hall where Hoseok had a few bags sitting. “Why is your stuff out here?”

“Some things have happened,” Hoseok said. “I…I mean I kind of saw it all coming, but now it’s actually happening.”

“You aren’t moving to another room are you?” Yoongi asked. “I don’t want that. I want you as my roommate.”

“I’m not moving to another room, no,” Hoseok said. Yoongi stepped into the room. Hoseok had packed up most of his things, which contradicted what he was saying. “I’m leaving school, for right now.”

“What?” Yoongi asked loudly. “No! What the hell? Why?”

“I haven’t been going to classes, Yoongi. If I ever left, I was going to either dance or see my sister. She—” Hoseok stopped and sat down on his messed up bed, still with that stupid lava lamp in his hand. Yoongi thought of all the nights they stayed up to the light of it, purples and pinks casting across the room. Purples and pinks dancing over Hoseok’s skin and making him look like something ethereal.

“Is she okay?” Yoongi asked softly.

Hoseok shook his head. “She’s pregnant,” Hoseok said quietly. “Remember that ‘new boyfriend’ I told you she had? Turns out he isn’t that cool. She’s pregnant and he ditched her and my parents are freaking the fuck out. My mom had a really rough time giving birth to us, and she was honesty lucky to live. Dawon has been seeing the doctor, and the doctor told her there’s a big chance that there could be problems with the birth. But, she’s almost five months along. I know she doesn’t look it, but she is…” Hoseok trailed off and looked down at the lava lamp, rubbing his thumb over it like it was a magic lamp and he hoped a genie would pop out.

“What does that have to do with you leaving?”

“Because I can’t stay here when my sister needs help! I can’t be here anymore. I need to go home, Yoongi. Maybe I’ll enroll in school in Gwangju, closer to home. But that’s what I need to do, go home,” Hoseok said. “You understand that, don’t you?”

“I understand,” Yoongi said softly.

Hoseok stood again, Yoongi right after him, and held up his lava lamp. “Here, have this,” Hoseok said and thrust it in Yoongi’s hands. “I want to stay in contact and everything, you know? There’s no reason we can’t, right?”

“I don’t guess so,” Yoongi murmured.

Hoseok cupped Yoongi’s face with one hand. Carefully, he leaned in and kissed Yoongi once on the lips before leaning back. “I love you,” he said, then, like it was the easiest thing he’d ever said. Yoongi stepped back, his legs hitting his bed.

“You’re leaving,” Yoongi responded.

“We can still see each other?” Hoseok said.

“N-no, you need to help your sister. I…I can’t.”

“Yoongi,” Hoseok said more forcefully. “Did you hear what I said? I love you. Please tell me it’s not just me, that you feel the same because…”

“Nothing,” Yoongi croaked. “It was nothing. You said it was nothing, we were just fooling around.”

“I was never just fooling around! Are you fucking kidding me?” Hoseok shouted. “I’ve been in love with you since you ran out in the rain with me!”

“You’re leaving!” Yoongi shouted back. “Just go, okay. I don’t love you. I don’t.”

“You’re the worst liar ever, Min Yoongi,” Hoseok said shortly. “But fine. You don’t love me. That’s fine.”

“I can’t be your friend. I can’t let you be in love with me. I can’t be what you—”

“Fine,” Hoseok repeated and grabbed another bag that was on the floor. “Keep the comforter. Keep the lava lamp. There’s weed in my desk drawer, feel free to smoke it, I don’t give a shit. Dawon is going to be here in an hour to pick me up, I’ll wait downstairs.” He paused and looked at Yoongi, standing there dumbfounded and holding the lava lamp. “But for the record, you don’t let me do anything. I’m in love with you, but I guess I’m an idiot for that.”

Yoongi watched Hoseok sling a backpack over his shoulder and gather up as many of the bags as he could. He watched him leave the room and then Yoongi moved to watch him walk down the hall and eventually out of his sight.

He didn’t say goodbye. Neither of them did.

The entire world felt like it was spinning when Yoongi went back into the room and closed the door behind him. He sank down into Hoseok’s bed and pulled the green comforter around his shoulders and gingerly sat the lava lamp on the desk before opening the desk drawer.

At some point Hoseok must have left. Yoongi was too high on Hoseok’s leftover weed to register the fact.

~~~

Present.

Yoongi had agreed to pick Hoseok up for the wedding and they would carpool. He woke up that morning with a text from Hoseok, for the first time in over five years. The number had still been in his phone, and Hoseok hadn’t commented on it, just smiled fondly.

Hobi:

6:06 so uh you weren’t too drunk to remember my address were u?

Yoongi:

6:30 This is an ungodly hour to be awake.

6:31 But no I wrote it down, I have it.

Hobi:

6:34 kinda thought yesterday was a dream. cant fuckin believe I gave u a lap dance my dignity is gone

Yoongi:

6:35 You lost your dignity when you admitted to having a kink for my dick piercing

Hobi:

6:40 shit I forgot about that, you still have it?

Yoongi:

6:41 Duh?

Hobi:

6:45 thanks for that mental imagine im gonna go take a cold shower now. see u later

What the hell, Yoongi thought, are we flirting?

No.

Maybe.

Yoongi shook his head and sipped his coffee for a few more minutes before he started getting ready. The wedding itself wasn’t happening until the afternoon, but Jin wanted everyone there early. And Yoongi had to pick Jungkook up too, after Hoseok, and take him to the location.

The location was Jin’s parent’s house, because they had a shit ton of land and were loaded. Yoongi had been once or twice before and the excess of it made his head hurt. Not that he wasn’t impressed.

So Yoongi quickly took a shower and got dressed in the outfit that Jin insisted he wear. By the time he was done, he was running early, miraculously, but Jin had still texted him several times making sure he wasn’t still sleeping. Yoongi replied assuring Jin that he was, in fact, awake and then headed out of his apartment building and over to Hoseok’s.

Hoseok didn’t live in as nice of a building as Yoongi did, but it wasn’t that bad either. Hoseok had told Yoongi the night before that he was on the second floor, so Yoongi went up and found Hoseok’s number and knocked.

“Oh! I’m coming!” Hoseok yelled from inside. The door flew open a few seconds later. Yoongi looked Hoseok up and down and raised an eyebrow. He was clearly not ready, or at least not dressed.

His hair looked done, but he was wearing a pair of baby pink sweat pants and a white T-shirt. The sweatpants were downright unfair. “If you wear that Jin will murder you,” Yoongi said.

“I know, I need your opinion on what to wear. Also, holy shit, what are you wearing?” Hoseok asked and stepped aside so Yoongi could come in. He did. “I was expected black and white suit and tie, all the works. Are those strawberries on your shirt? Your pants are blue. Oh my god.”

“Jin didn’t want to do all formal or whatever. You should see the pants he’s picked to wear. They’re insane,” Yoongi said and followed Hoseok through the small apartment. “Also, if you looked closer, you would see that the strawberries are, in fact, tiny skulls, so fuck you very much.”

Hoseok laughed. “Whatever, you look nice.”

Yoongi passed a photo hanging on the wall and stopped. “Is this your sister’s kid?” Yoongi asked and pointed to the photo.

“Oh, yeah,” Hoseok said, sliding up next to him. “That’s him. He’s cute, huh?”

“I only saw her the one time in person, but he looks like her. Kinda like you, too, I guess,” Yoongi said and tilted his head to the side. “Do you see him a lot?”

“I half raised him, so yeah. I mean, I still do. He’s with my parents right now,” Hoseok said and continued on down the hall.

“Why isn’t he with your sister?”

“Because she’s dead, Yoongi, she didn’t survive the birth,” Hoseok said plainly as he rounded the corner into his bedroom.

“Holy fucking shit, what?” Yoongi asked.

“Yeah…I mean, I’ve accepted it now, so can we not talk about it?”

“Oh, I mean, of course. I’m so…sorry,” Yoongi said awkwardly. Hoseok nodded and brushed a stand of hair out of his eyes.

“Okay, so I have two options for clothes. I have a pair of black skinny jeans, and then that white dress shirt but it’s borderline see-through. I mean, it’s not see-through but if I spill shit on myself it will be. Or I have a dark blue button up but its’ old and ugly,” Hoseok said and pointed to the bed where he had put his clothes out.

“The white one is better,” Yoongi said.

“Cool, I agree,” Hoseok said and shucked off his T-shirt, right there in front of Yoongi like it was nothing. Although, it probably wasn’t since Yoongi had seen Hoseok naked on many occasions. Only now, he maybe looked even better. He still was thin, lean, but there was a more defined V that led down to his sweatpants, which hung low on his hips.

Yoongi looked away before he started drooling.

“So,” Hoseok said as he got dressed. “Is this like an actual date or am I just a date by title?”

“Uh. Do you want it to be a date? Because I don’t deserve for it to be,” Yoongi said.

“I’m over it,” Hoseok stated. “Really. I never thought I would see you again and I kind of hated myself for how things went down. I shouldn’t have handled it the way I did, and yeah, you were shitty too, but we were kids. So, do you want it to be a date?”

“You’re…single and whatever?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

“Surprising, but also not,” Hoseok said and Yoongi turned back around to see that he was dressed. “So…?”

“Yeah…yeah I’d like it to be an actual date,” Yoongi decided. Hoseok grinned.

“Me too. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, with everything. I broke my promise. I lied to you, about multiple things,” Yoongi said and Hoseok gestured for them to leave the room. They did and eventually they were back outside and getting in Yoongi’s car.

“What’d you lie about?” Hoseok asked when he settled in.

Yoongi turned on the radio and pulled out onto the street. “We have to pick up Jungkook, also, which is going to be a major pain in the ass. He never shuts up, in case you didn’t already catch on to that,” Yoongi said. “And I lied to you about my feelings. I mean, you knew that, I obviously was crazy about you, I was just a stupid kid.”

“Aw, Yoongi, did you love me?” Hoseok asked teasingly.

“Yes,” he said and Hoseok’s smile faded to something more serious and he nodded, turning away to look out the window.

They were almost to Jungkook’s place when Hoseok cleared his throat. “So like, on a scale of No Chance to I’m Getting Laid, what’s the probability that we’re gonna fuck tonight? Just, because, I’m totally prepared if we do and you one hundred percent got hard when I gave you a lap dance. So. Just putting it out there.”

Yoongi didn’t take his eyes off the road. “You fuck on the first date?”

“Clearly, I fuck before the first date since we’ve already had sex, asshole,” Hoseok replied.

“Don’t you think we should get to know each other first?”

“Oh fuck off,” Hoseok said with a laugh. “I know you, maybe you’ve changed, gotten older, but I still know you. Besides, sex won’t change the fact that I like you.”

“We’ll see,” Yoongi said and Hoseok smiled.

They pulled into Jungkook’s apartment building parking lot to find him waiting outside. He opened the door for the front seat, which Hoseok was already in and sighed in exasperation before getting in the backseat. “Hello hyung. Hello other hyung,” Jungkook said. “Who’s ready to rave?”

“It’s a wedding, please don’t do anything crazy,” Yoongi said.

“So…don’t put weed brownies on the buffet table…?”

“You have weed brownies?” Hoseok asked eagerly.

“No, I don’t, but I know someone who does,” Jungkook said.

“It’s Taehyung,” Yoongi deadpanned. “No doubt.”

“I’ll totally take one,” Hoseok said seriously.

“No. No weed brownies. Jesus,” Yoongi muttered but he shot Hoseok a small smile.

“Whatever, Yoongi, you act all Good, but I’ve seen your sex drawer,” Jungkook said and leaned back in his seat.

“He’s lying.”

“Have I ever lied before?” Jungkook asked.

“Yes. Many times. Like when you told me you bought me designer shoes for my birthday, but you actually bought me house slippers. Or the time you dropped eggs all over the floor in Jin’s house and blamed it on Jimin. Or the time—”

“You know, I can’t remember any of those incidents,” Jungkook said with a shrug.

The rest of the drive went on like that, but Hoseok didn’t seem to mind, and Yoongi didn’t really either. He enjoyed listening to Hoseok laugh quietly and Jungkook say things that were completely ridiculous. By the time they arrived at Jin’s parents’ house, Yoongi wasn’t feeling nervous or stressed at all. Jungkook ran inside and shouted that ‘he had arrived’ and Hoseok and Yoongi trailed slowly behind him.

They found Jin in the living room, eating something that was probably supposed to be for later. He was dressed in a white button up with a black tie that bad floral appliques and geometric pink pants that somehow he pulled off. “Yoongi!” Jin said. “Wow, you guys look good together!”

“Who? What?” Taehyung bounded into the room with Jungkook. “Holy shit! Hoseok!”

“Hoseok?” Jimin asked, running into the room, too.

They all greeted each other enthusiastically, and Hoseok went to say hello to Namjoon, too. When he came back, Yoongi showed him around the house and introduced him to the other guests that Yoongi knew. Eventually, they were out in the backyard getting ready for everything.

Hoseok leaned closer to Yoongi and their shoulder’s brushed. “I want to dance later,” Hoseok announced.

“Okay, fine, just don’t make me look bad,” Yoongi replied.

Hoseok didn’t make him look bad.

He pulled him close and Yoongi looped his arms around Hoseok’s neck and they slow danced through the fast songs and Jungkook’s hollering for them to get a room.

“Jungkook!” Jin’s voice hollered throughout the reception hall. “Who put weed brownies on the buffet table?”

“Taehyung!” Jungkook shouted back.

“How could you just throw me under the bus like that?” Yoongi heard Tae shout.

“Say nothing, we’re innocent!” Jimin joined in.

“Babe, just eat your cake,” Namjoon said.

“It’s red velvet!”

“Jin. You’ve already eaten two pieces of it…”

“This is fun,” Hoseok whispered to Yoongi. “Thank you for bringing me as your date.”

~~~

Before.

Every night, falling asleep with a pink haze over the room.

Every day, waking up alone.

Every word, sounding like Hoseok’s name.

Every breath, reminiscent of nights in a fog of roaming hands and kisses.

Every moment, wishing for something Yoongi didn’t know how to get back.

~~~

Present. Three months later.

“When is Hoseok-hyung getting here, he’s more fun than you,” Jungkook asked as he shoved a handful of chips in his mouth.

“He’s dropping the kid off with his parents,” Yoongi answered.

“Aw, have you met him?” Jimin asked enthusiastically. “I love kids.”

“Yeah, but only briefly,” Yoongi said. “He’s a cute kid.”

“What’re you guys doing when he gets here?” Taehyung asked.

The six of them were hanging out with Jin, as they usually did, at he and Namjoon’s house. Jin and Namjoon, however, were passed out on the loveseat and Namjoon was snoring loudly.

“I don’t know. Maybe go back to my place?” Yoongi said.

“Have you fucked yet though?” Jungkook asked.

“God, I can’t believe we tolerate you,” Taehyung said.

“You do more than tolerate me,” Jungkook said with a wink.

“I’m not going to talk to any of you anymore tonight,” Yoongi said.

Luckily for him, Hoseok arrived a few minutes later and they left together, hand in hand. Hoseok drove them to Yoongi’s apartment and then, when they were parked, he leaned across the center console and kissed Yoongi, long and slow, his lips the same as they’d been five years before.

In the three months since the wedding, Hoseok and Yoongi had been trying to get to know each other again. To figure out how to fit back together. To bring their lives back together. Because they had different lives, Hoseok had other friends and responsibilities as did Yoongi. But they still got along. They still understood each other.

They hadn’t however, slept together, at least not completely. There were a few…close encounters, but it never went all the way. They were being careful.

“I want to show you something,” Yoongi said when he pulled away from the kiss.

“Okay?” Hoseok said with a small smile.

Yoongi led him upstairs and then, when Yoongi tried to sit down on the couch, Hoseok shook his head slightly and they ended up in the bedroom instead. There, Yoongi rummaged through his closet until he found a small cardboard box. “This is super embarrassing,” Yoongi said while opening the box.

“What is it?”

Yoongi pulled out the lava lamp and held it out. Hoseok stared at it and smile. “Wow. You kept it?” he asked.

“I broke it, is what I did,” Yoongi said. “It doesn’t work anymore; I think I burned it out. But yeah, I kept it.”

Hoseok wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s waist. “You’re pretty sentimental,” Hoseok said.

“It gets more embarrassing,” Yoongi said and kicked his shoes off. He bent down and pulled his sock off and pointed at his ankle. Hoseok looked, squinted in the dark and brushed his hand over the skin there. “It’s more embarrassing than the dick thing.”

“You got a tattoo of a lava lamp?” Hoseok whispered.

“Namjoon did it for me when he was just starting out a few years ago. I almost showed you the night we first reunited, but I figured I’d better let you get used to me again before I went full creep on you,” Yoongi said with a small laugh as he looked down at his tattoo. It was simple, clean lines and no color, just an outline, but it served its purpose.

“It’s not creepy, Yoongi,” Hoseok said. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“That’s good. Wouldn’t want you to break up with me because I’m weird,” Yoongi muttered and stood up straight.

“Break up with you?” Hoseok asked. “Does that mean you’re my boyfriend?”

Yoongi chewed on his lower lip. “Aren’t you?”

Hoseok grinned and kissed Yoongi before saying, “Yes. I’m teasing. Now come on,” Hoseok tugged Yoongi towards the bed. “I didn’t come in here to admire your decorating.”

“My decorating sucks, so I hope not,” Yoongi said as Hoseok sat back on the edge of the bed and Yoongi straddled his hips.

“It’ll be nice to do this on a normal sized bed for once,” Hoseok said thoughtfully. “Except for the one time we fucked in the dance studio. That was hot.”

“We should do that again sometime,” Yoongi said and Hoseok rolled his eyes.

“No way, I’m not risking that shit again. Anyway. I’m going to ask you something and don’t freak out about it this time, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll fuck you,” Yoongi said before Hoseok could ask.

Hoseok smiled wickedly. “Thank god, and I’m fucking you in the morning.”

“Do you like have a sex agenda that you plan everything out on? Like, midnight, Yoongi fucks me. Ten the next morning, I fuck Yoongi. Maybe get a blowjob too,” Yoongi said teasingly.

“Shut up and get on your back,” Hoseok said and lifted Yoongi off his lap and placed him on the bed.

“I love when you manhandle me, thanks,” Yoongi said sarcastically.

Hoseok pushed Yoongi’s shirt up and started kissing his skin, similar to how he did once, a long time ago, but also different. Different because he didn’t have to worry about it conveying too much feeling anymore, he could put all the emotion into the kisses that he wanted to.

And it started with those feeling-packed kisses and eventually Hoseok was bouncing intensely in Yoongi’s lap, his skin glowing with sweat in the lamplight. “Ah, fuck, fuck, do you ever get tired?” Yoongi groaned. He tried to sit up, but Hoseok’s hands were braced firmly on his chest.

“You wanna do some of the work? Feel free,” Hoseok said as he slowed down his pace and started rolling his hips in slow circles. “Come on, baby, let me have it.”

Yoongi mewled Hoseok’s name and raised his hips off the bed while Hoseok continued to roll his body for Yoongi. “Hobi. Y-you’re somethin’ else,” Yoongi moaned, his hands gripped Hoseok’s thighs like a lifeline. “Like. Fucking sweet one second then—ah—this the next…”

Hoseok chuckled. “Does it feel good, Yoongi? You feel so nice, so good inside me, baby.” Yoongi snapped his hips up again and he and Hoseok both groaned loudly. “Answer me,” Hoseok demanded.

“Y-yes. Yes, it’s good,” Yoongi said desperately. “Use me, ‘Seok, fucking go faster.”

“I don’t know if I’m crazy, but I swear I can feel it,” Hoseok breathed, but he didn’t speed up, yet. Yoongi knew exactly what he was talking about, though.

“You’re crazy,” Yoongi told him. “Fucking insane.”

“Wait. Are you crazy? I mean, I’m a little bit crazy so I don’t mind.”

“I’m probably not completely sane.”

Hoseok smirked and then picked up his fast pace again, their skin slapping together something awful and Hoseok got so loud that Yoongi would have been concerned about neighbors were he not balls deep inside the most attractive man on fucking planet earth.

“’Seok…Hobi, I’m gonna come,” Yoongi whined.

“No,” Hoseok said, nails digging into Yoongi’s skin, which was already riddled with purple bruises. “Not yet.”

“Please,” Yoongi cried, grabbing Hoseok’s wrist, keeping him close.

Hoseok lifted himself with a slow drag and then slammed back down with a roll of his body and Yoongi jerked slightly under him, bent his legs and grabbed Hoseok’s cock, giving it rough, firm strokes. “That’s it, yeah, you’re so perfect Yoongi. You take it all so good, I—uhng—baby.”

Hoseok practically shouted, borderline screamed, when he came (he was always the loudest) and he looked down to meet Yoongi’s gaze through it all, giving him a short nod and Yoongi’s breath hitched and came back out in a strangled cry when he let go, too. Hoseok moaned out more expletives as he rode through it, eventually stopping when Yoongi started to gasp from overstimulation.

Hoseok fell against Yoongi’s chest and they kissed with small smiles on their lips until Hoseok eventually lifted off and laid back on the bed next to Yoongi, grabbing his hand and interweaving their fingers. “That was better than the lap dance, right?” Hoseok asked and Yoongi snorted.

“That whole scenario was like a really bad porn where the pizza guy and the customer have sex, only we didn’t have sex then,” Yoongi said.

“So…a disappointing porn?” Hoseok asked.

“You’re everything except disappointing,” Yoongi said softly.

“Good. Now go get me something to clean up with, I don’t want to move.”

“Neither do I,” Yoongi grumbled.

“You’ve got jizz on your hands, and I’m not going to be the big spoon and get jizz all over your back,” Hoseok said and Yoongi got up with a mock-annoyed huff.

They fell asleep later when Yoongi curled into Hoseok chest and Hoseok’s arm tightly around him, whispering to each other in the dark with sleepy voices and gentle touches. Yoongi wanted to fall asleep every night, intoxicated with the sweetness that was Hoseok. He wanted to lose himself in Hoseok’s eyes and feel Hoseok’s hands on his waist as they walked down the street together. He wanted to write songs about the way Hoseok’s name sounded on his lips, and the way Yoongi’s sounded on Hoseok’s.

He wanted to wake up every morning like he did that next morning, to find Hoseok already awake and combing his slender hands through Yoongi’s messy hair. To feel Hoseok’s nails slightly against his scalp and to watch his other hand move on Yoongi’s body, the veins prominent and his wrist a little bit knobby, light shining through the gaps between his fingers.

“Morning sleepyhead,” Hoseok said softly.

“Mmm. Morning,” Yoongi mumbled in response before he hugged Hoseok closer.

“You aren’t on call or anything right?” Hoseok asked.

“No. Just wanna spend today with you…” Yoongi said into his pillow.

“Come take a shower,” Hoseok said. Yoongi protested, but not for that long because even if shower sex was a pain in the ass, Yoongi wasn’t going to miss out on Hoseok naked and wet in Yoongi’s shower.

The shower (and giving Hoseok a blowjob) woke Yoongi up completely and then the two of them stumbled, hair still damp, and clothes clinging to their skin, to the kitchen between laughter to scrounge up something for breakfast.

“I can’t believe I let you guys trick me into joining your groupchat, it’s a mess,” Hoseok said.

“You should probably turn off the notifications for it, honestly,” Yoongi replied, as he handed Hoseok a cup of coffee and then sat in his lap to see what the group chat was complaining about that morning. Hoseok wrapped his hands around Yoongi and rested one hand on his thigh while he set his coffee on the table with the other and picked up his phone. “I turned the notifications off, you can’t underestimate their spamming abilities.”

Hoseok chuckled, the vibrations running through Yoongi’s body and then rested his chin on Yoongi’s shoulder.

Jungkook:

2:00 yes its 2 in the morning and yes yoongles and hosuck are probably fucking

Jin-hyung:

4:14 I wake up and this is what I see.

4:14 Blasphemy

Taehyung:

4:35 why u waking up at 4:15 anyway hyung

Jin-hyung :

4:56 I like to get an early start.

Taehyung:

8:45 well u asshoels woke me up then too but I fell back to sleep.

Jimin:

8:46 u misspelled ‘assholes’

Taehyung:

8:50 fight me

Jungkook:

9:00 FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Hoseok laughed and shrugged before starting to type out a reply, despite Yoongi’s protests not to urge them on.

Hoseok:

1:23 the fact that the last text in here was ‘FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT’ is very concerning

Jungkook:

1:25 ;))))))))

Hoseok:

1:27 ???

Jungkook:

1:27 hows yoongles

Namjoon:

1:28 I’m always here silently watching and honestly Jungkook, u need help

Jungkook:

1:30 did you guys hear something? like…a faint sound of distress in the distance?

1:31 maybe sounded vaguely like that guy namjoon hyung?

Jin-hyung:

1:34 Insult my husband again, I dare you.

Jungkook:

1:40 sorry gotta go I suddenly remembered I left the tap running???

1:41 also @ yoongles, idk where he is but: ;)))))

“Wow that was…interesting,” Hoseok said.

Yoongi smiled back at Hoseok. “If I told you that I loved you…would it be too soon?” Yoongi asked.

Hoseok shifted Yoongi around until he was facing him in his lap. “No,” Hoseok said. “Actually, it’s probably long overdue, don’t you think?” he said and kissed Yoongi on the nose.

“Okay,” Yoongi said. “I love you, then.”

“I love you too.”

Yoongi sighed. He had been an idiot, way back then, scared, unsure. But telling Hoseok that he loved him was the easiest, best thing he ever did.

“So…I was promised that you would fuck me this morning, and it’s already the afternoon,” Yoongi said slyly.

“Here?” Hoseok asked, looking around the kitchen.

“Sure, fuck me on the table,” Yoongi said and Hoseok laughed.

“You have no shame,” he said, lifting Yoongi up by the ass to sit on the edge of the table, and moving their coffee cups to the kitchen counter.

“Hey,” Yoongi said and Hoseok raised an eyebrow. Yoongi giggled slightly and kissed Hoseok once on the mouth. “Wanna fool around?”

~~~

After.

For the past twenty minutes, Kim Seokjin had been ranting about the fact that he was forced to make a cake that used food coloring. “Food coloring is gross, nothing edible should be that color green,” he said passionately.

“Honey, you literally ate all the leftover green icing after you finished making the cake,” Namjoon said.

“Yeah, but I hated every second of it,” Jin muttered.

“Lying will give you ulcers,” Jungkook said.

“We’re eating, don’t mention gross things,” Taehyung said and wiped a swipe of green icing across Jungkook’s cheek, causing Jimin to giggle.

Yoongi and Hoseok sat together on the couch, while their friends bickered in the kitchen and some of Hoseok’s other friends meandered around the apartment. Everyone got along, but that was expected, considering the amount of time that had passed since Yoongi and Hoseok had been together.

It was Hoseok’s birthday, and Yoongi and Hoseok had gone out to lunch earlier with Hoseok’s parents and Hoseok’s nephew, and now they were all hanging around Hoseok’s apartment, eating the cake Jin had made, and just being together.

Yoongi sat shoulder-to-shoulder with Hoseok while he finished up his piece of cake. Hoseok had already finished, and his arm around Yoongi’s shoulders, while he spoke to one of his friends from back home and his girlfriend. “You know,” he was saying, “I can remember you telling me about that kid you knew from your freshman year, but it took me forever to put the pieces together and realize it was Yoongi.”

“I don’t want to know what he told you about me,” Yoongi said.

“Well he said you were blonde, for one,” Yong-Su, Hoseok’s friend, said.

“Ah yes, that was an unfortunate time,” Yoongi replied.

“You looked good, shut up,” Hoseok said and took Yoongi’s empty plate to go put it in the kitchen.

“So I saw the videos you and Hoseok made online. Him dancing and your music and stuff. It was really cool,” Yong-Su said and his girlfriend nodded.

“Yeah, whose voice is that, on the tracks?” she asked.

“Mine and that kid over there,” Yoongi said, pointing to Jungkook who shot him finger guns in return.

“Impressive.”

“Thanks,” Yoongi said with a small, shy, smile.

Then, he could hear Jungkook asking Hoseok if they could get him a stripper for his birthday, which was Yoongi’s cue to go save him. He excused himself and went into the kitchen where Hoseok was eating cake with a fork directly from the remaining cake on the tray. “Heathen,” Jin said with a shake of his head, but then he stood up and started doing the same.

“Hey, are you guys still taking that vacation next month?” Jimin asked Yoongi. “To—where is it?—the Caribbean?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok said with a toothy grin.

“I’m going to sunburn,” Yoongi muttered, but Hoseok held out his fork and Yoongi ate the cake from it eagerly. “But, I’m excited.”

“I’m starting to think that you’re trying to outdo and me and Namjoon’s honeymoon,” Jin said. “But Italy is much more sophisticated anyway.”

“You guys got lost like twenty times,” Taehyung pointed out. “Namjoon called me about it every single day. You rivaled my terrible navigating skills.”

“It was still an experience,” Jin muttered. “Still, send lots of pictures.”

“You don’t have to send me any,” Jungkook said. “I’m going to sneak myself in your suitcase and come with you.”

“Do you think there’s room for me, too?” Jimin asked.

“Yeah, you’re small,” Jungkook said seriously.

“You can’t go without me,” Tae exclaimed. “I’ll break up with you and take custody of our fish.”

“You can’t take Baby Finley! I’ll fight you in court!”

Hoseok’s arms enveloped Yoongi and he kissed the back of his head. “After everything,” Hoseok whispered, “I’m so glad we found each other again.”

Yoongi reached back and pulled Hoseok flush against him, feeling his lips against his ear when he spoke. “Me too,” Yoongi said. “I love you.”

Hoseok replied with the same sentiments.

And they never stopped telling each other, either.

They told each other in the dark of night, between the sheets. They told each other in early morning sunlight with lidded eyes and raspy voices. They told each other with big smiles in the happy times and with tears in the hard times. They told each other in frigid winters and during summer sunsets. On beaches and in the city. Dressed up fancy and in pajamas and in nothing at all. At the end of an argument or before good news. After it all, they told each other.

It all happened because Yoongi’s roommate in the dorms freshman year was a truly terrible human being.

“Fuck me,” Yoongi muttered up at the ceiling.

“Oh, shit, Christ, you scared me,” a foreign voice said and Yoongi looked down from the ceiling.

Another male stood in the middle of the lounge, his hands in his hoodie pockets and a pair of drop crotch pants on. He was lithe and had a pretty, handsome face and questioning eyes. Yoongi swallowed and sat up straighter.

“What’re you down here so early in the morning?” the other male asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Yoongi asked in return.

It all happened because Hoseok delivered a pizza and then gave Yoongi a lap dance because Jungkook wouldn’t let us and they were all a little bit drunk.

“If you’re down,” Hoseok said casually. Casually, casually, casually. Fuck casual. “I’m not a stripper, I’m literally just the pizza guy, but yeah, I’ll give you a lap dance. I’m not taking my clothes off though.”

“You can’t con someone you just met into making them give someone a lap dance. Hoseok isn’t like…a hooker,” Yoongi said, but Hoseok was standing up.

“It’ll be funny! I didn’t con him into anything! He’s just a cool guy and like, Yoongi…he’s hot, so just agree.”

“Yeah, Yoongi, I’m hot,” Hoseok said teasingly.

It all happened because maybe it was just meant to.