Chapter Text
The loud, thumping music pounded through the walls of Eden’s Twilight, traveling from the large speakers to the crowded dance floor filled with bodies and up through the legs of the chair Andrew perched on, causing the whiskey in his shot glass to ripple. At least, that’s what Andrew told himself. It had to be the vibrations from the music, because Andrew Minyard’s hands did not shake.
He downed the shot and ignored the burn in the back of his throat. It was his third of the night but the alcohol hadn’t done anything yet to numb his headache.
Glancing around the table, Andrew noted how far behind the others he already was. Kevin had finished his allotment of vodka shots and was quickly draining his red bull vodka mixed drink through a straw as if it was a competition. Which it probably was, he realized, as Nicky was mirroring Kevin across the table and trying to suck down his brightly colored drink faster. Aaron was finished with his shots and on to what seemed to be his third mixed drink, no doubt trying to drink as much as he could before midnight hit and the bar shut down since all his drinks were free until then on account of it being his birthday.
“It’s your birthday too!” Nicky had yelled earlier when Andrew had reminded Roland upon their arrival that Aaron would be getting free birthday drinks tonight. He wasn’t wrong, but Andrew hated this day. His history with November 4th only involved bad memories, lonely nights, and, when he wasn’t so lucky as to be left alone, very unappreciated gifts for the birthday boy. So no, Andrew would very much like to pretend today wasn’t his birthday, but that didn’t mean Aaron couldn’t take advantage and celebrate if he cared to. Hence why they were stuck at Eden’s Twilight and Andrew was currently debating between slamming his head down on the table or downing a whole bottle from behind the bar in order to stop the self-destructive birthday related thoughts he couldn’t seem to chase away.
Andrew’s gaze slid from his family’s frenzied alcohol consumption over to the mass of people crowding the dance floor and then to the bar, where it caught on Roland’s. Roland raised an eyebrow at him and tipped his head toward the hallway door that led to the storage room. Andrew only hesitated a second before nodding. It wasn’t really a good day for him, but he desperately needed a distraction and these shots weren’t doing it. He had been casually hooking up with Roland for long enough now that he knew if he needed to stop Roland wasn’t going to be offended and would understand. Or at least wouldn’t push. He wasn’t quite sure how much Roland “understood” about why Andrew rarely let him touch, but he had never asked why and Andrew wouldn’t have explained anyways.
Andrew focused his attention back on the table to find Nicky and Kevin arguing over who won their drinking race and Aaron staring at him. Aaron nodded his head in the bar’s direction and silently gave him a look that Andrew knew was asking if he was going to disappear with Roland for a bit. Andrew nodded and stood up to leave the table as Aaron settled back in his chair with his drinks, which Andrew knew meant Aaron wouldn’t leave for the dance floor until Andrew returned to watch the table.
When it first came out two years ago that Andrew and Roland were hooking up, Nicky was predictably excited and Aaron predictably shocked. Aaron had seemed to think he should have known his twin was gay but it’s not like Andrew owed him an explanation or had ever given him a reason to think otherwise. Aaron had quickly gotten over it though and had even stopped with some of his more rude comments toward Nicky’s unending monologue about guys he found attractive. The remarks he made now Andrew usually appreciated as Nicky did like to go into detail and sometimes didn’t know when to shut it. But it seemed Aaron had shaken off the lingering homophobic thoughts his shit mother and idiotic aunt and uncle had impressed upon him growing up and Andrew was slightly proud of him for it. Not that he would ever admit that.
Andrew pushed through the drunken crowd, swerving between people and using his elbows to push them out of his way when he couldn’t get past without touching them. He hated how crowded this place got. A minute later he left the pulsing music and flashing lights of the main room, slipping through the door and making his way down the hall and into the storage room to wait for Roland. The room was lined with shelves that carried a stockpile of every type of alcohol imaginable. He passed the time by leaning against the shelves and counting how many bottles of whiskey they had in the room. It would be so easy to swipe one, but Eden’s had been too good to them so he never had.
He had almost finished his count when Roland entered and immediately turned to lock the door behind him. Andrew pushed off the shelf and came up behind Roland. He reached out to put his hand on Roland’s hip, intending to turn him around and push him against the door, when Roland quickly spun to face Andrew and took a step back.
“No,” Roland said.
Andrew froze only for a second before snatching his hand back and stumbling backwards out of Roland’s space. Ice filled his veins in response to that unexpected word, a word that had been ignored too many times when uttered from his own mouth but never uttered from Roland’s before. He dug his fingernails into his palm, commanding his thoughts to remain in the present, and looked up to meet Roland’s eyes.
He expected to see panic, nervousness, maybe even anger. What he didn’t expect to see was… pity. Pity? Andrew Minyard was not someone to be pitied. What was going on?
His confusion over Roland’s expression derailed his panic before it really caught hold. Roland hadn’t said no because of something Andrew did wrong. He didn’t cross a line. Something else was going on.
Roland’s fingers started tapping against his own thigh and Andrew’s eyes tracked the movement. It was Roland’s tell tale sign that he was nervous about something. It was the same fidgeting he did when Andrew had first allowed him to touch him after years of mostly one-sided hook ups. Andrew had only allowed it to happen a few times and seeing Roland was nervous about it too had always eased his own nerves.
Andrew forced himself to remain silent, letting Roland collect his thoughts, while the room seemed to tense around them.
“I’m sorry,” Roland started, his fingers still tapping away. “I didn’t mean to-”
“There is nothing to be sorry for,” Andrew cut in. Because there wasn’t. Andrew refused to ever be angry with someone for saying no.
“Yes but…” Roland trailed off for a second, before putting on a sad smile and leaning back against the door. “I have to call it quits between us Andrew. Not because of anything you did. But I’ve started seeing someone. I’m dating someone, I mean.”
Oh. Oh. That’s why Roland was acting all awkward. Andrew had thought something had seemed off when he had first arrived and talked to Roland up at the bar. But he hadn’t noticed anything off last week when he was here.
Roland interpreted Andrew’s silence wrong and said, “I’m sorry Andrew. I probably should have mentioned it sooner. And bad day for it, right?” Roland gave an awkward laugh and shook his head.
Andrew was about to reply when he finally made the connection between Roland’s sad smile and pity filled eyes. Irritation flared up inside him as he realized Roland was saying sorry because what? He thought he was hurting Andrew or something? That Andrew cared about Roland as more than a casual hook up and had feelings for him? This thing between them was nothing but convenience. Andrew was not someone to be pitied, especially not by someone who should know better.
The very idea made Andrew want to laugh. He suppressed most of the urge but a huff still escaped him, more mocking and scornful than amused, which was more emotion than he would have liked to let slip but he was annoyed at the moment and not in as much control of himself as he would have liked tonight. He balanced it out with a slight nod toward Roland and a muttered “okay.”
This was unnecessary and he wanted out of this stuffy room. He moved forward and Roland quickly stepped out of the way of the door. Andrew threw it open and paused for a moment to look over his shoulder.
“It was fun while it lasted,” he said, and walked out the door, letting it fall closed behind him. If it was anyone else, he either would have not said a word or may have made a more scathing remark for thinking he was someone who had to be let down gently, as if this was more than it actually was. But he still liked Roland as a person so he tried to let the irritation fade away. He was also not about to piss off his favorite bartender and risk all the discounted drinks.
When he made it back to the table, Aaron downed the last of his drink and stumbled off to the dance floor to find Nicky and Kevin without a word. Andrew sat down and realized someone had stolen the rest of his shots. Bastards.
He wasn’t about to go ask Roland for more, and he didn’t want Roland reading into it if he purposely approached Rick, the other bartender working tonight. He resigned to sitting alone at the table for the next hour and concentrated on staring at his empty shot glasses, attempting to get his mind that empty of dark thoughts too.