Chapter Text
El absolutely despised being late.
It was a hatred that had lived in El for as long as she could remember. Whether it be meeting someone to work on a group project, or to her, albeit very lax, job at the police station, nothing set of El’s anxiety more then when she was running late. This, of course, only got worse in college when running late to class slowly but surely became her worst nightmare and her biggest fear.
A nightmare and fear that was dangerously close coming true at this current moment in time.
El didn’t even really know how it happened. One minute she was in the library, doing research for her English paper and the next she had ten minutes to sprint all the way across campus and up six flights of stairs to get her to psychology lecture. Needless to say, she was glad that she had worn her sneakers that day.
So, naturally, the last thing El wants, or expects, in her hurry is to literally run into someone. Which, of course, is exactly what happens. She doesn’t mean to, really, she doesn’t. Sure, she maybe could have been looking where she was going a little better, but the very tall guy that she had run into, really should have moved when she saw him coming.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She heard him mumble as she picked up her strewn books from the floor. Luckily most of her stuff had been tucked in her backpack, which was still securely on her back, so she only had to spend a couple seconds hunched over, but when she stood, she felt herself gulp.
Because standing in front of her was probably the cutest boy she had ever seen in her entire life.
“It’s fine.” She felt herself saying, laughing almost instinctively. Sure, she only had about two minutes now to sprint all the way up to the third floor to get to her lecture on time, and if he was anyone else she probably would have already walked away by now, but there was something about the look on his face that was making her stomach flip. “I should have been looking where I was going.”
He laughed and El swore her heart physically lifted in her chest. “I’m way taller than you, so really I should have been looking where I was going.” God El thought, her heart dancing, he was way too cute for his own good.
“Yeah, maybe this is all your fault.” She joked, feeling herself smirk. He laughed again and El was pretty sure she wanted to hear his laugh a million more times.
“Yeah, maybe.” He said, a smile on his face. El was ninety nine percent sure that at this point she was blushing profusely, but she couldn’t even bring herself to care that much. There was just something about him that was so ridiculously adorable, she couldn’t help it.
With his freckled cheeks and his messy black hair, El didn’t think she had ever seen someone cuter. She was totally okay with running into someone every day if they always looked like this.
“Well, I should get going.” She said after a second, her heart still beating faster than normal in her chest. The boy smiled at her, and it was almost enough to make El say screw it and ask him if he wanted to hang out, but she had some level of restraint.
“Me too, I’ll see you round.” He said, lifting his hand up in a wave. He broke the eye contact first, spinning on his heels and disappearing out the double doors that she had just entered through. She stood there probably a second longer than was necessary, but she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
One look at the clock hanging in the lobby told her that her class had started five minutes. Now she was late and flustered.
Too bad she didn’t really care all that much.
“What are you smiling about?”
El sighed, throwing a glare across the room at Max, who was lounging back on her pillows, a teasing smirk playing on her lips. El loved her roommate, really she did, but she hated how Max pretty much noticed everything.
“Nothing. I can’t be happy for no reason.” El retorted, trying to keep her voice level. The last thing she needed was to give herself away because her voice betrayed her. Max snorting, shaking her head.
“Of course you can, I just know that usual when you smile like that it’s because of a boy.” Max was still smirking, propping herself up on one elbow so she could look at El. El felt herself blush under Max’s gaze, cursing at herself for not being able to keep it together.
“You have never seen me smile because of a boy before.” El managed to say, pushing herself into a sitting position and leaning against the wall behind her bed.
“Ha! So you admit it’s because of a boy.” El groaned, leaning forward and pressing her forehead against her knees. “I knew it. El has a crush.”
El could practically hear the laughter and teasing in her best friend’s voice, but she couldn’t bring herself to completely deny Max. “It’s not a crush.” She admitted after a second, and she wasn’t lying, it wasn’t a crush , she didn’t even know the guys name. He was just totally, completely adorable and she just so happened to not be able to stop thinking about him.
Definitely not a crush.
“But there’s a boy?” Max questioned and when El finally dared to meet the redhead’s gaze, her eyebrows were dancing teasingly across her forehead. “A cute boy?”
Biting her lip, El couldn’t help but submit to Max’s questions, nodding. “Maybe.” She shrugged. “But it doesn’t matter, I don’t even know his name.” She shook her head, pushing her hair back from her face. “Besides, shouldn’t I be the one giving you the third degree, you’re the one who's been on cloud nine for the last two weeks because of your new boyfriend you refuse to let me meet.”
El tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but some of it slipped through without her meaning to. She couldn’t help it though, it was unfair that she was being grilled when Max had been walking around with a permanent smile on her face for two weeks without El saying one word.
“That’s so unfair.” Max gasped, flipping her hair over her shoulder, her mouth open as she glared at El. “There’s a reason I’m keeping it to myself.”
El knew that she couldn’t fault Max for that. It wasn’t like Max was keeping it from her because she didn’t want El to know, she knew it was more because Max was afraid. Afraid that if she admitted this boy she was talking to her was her boyfriend that it would somehow ruin things. El couldn’t begin to understand it, but it wasn’t her business.
Rolling her eyes, El sighed. “So, I should be allowed to keep my cute boy to myself.” She said, immediately blushing when the words left her mouth. “Not that he’s a cute boy or anything. Or that he’s mine.” She backtracked, but she knew it was too late. Max had an amused smirk on her face and a mischievous glint in her eye.
“Whatever you say, Ellie.” She teased, throwing herself back down on her pillow, laughter echoing through their room. “It’s okay to admit there’s a cute boy you want to date.”
“I don’t want to date him.” El said. “I don’t know anything about him.” She sighed, looking down at her bedspread, pulling at a loose thread.
She could practically hear the smile in Max’s voice. “There’s plenty of opportunities to get to know him. That’s half the fun.”
“How is that going to happen when I might not ever see him again.” El said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know his name, I don’t know his major. I don’t know anything.”
She met her best friend’s gaze, and Max was smirking at her. She knew that look, she knew that look all too well. It was the same look Max had gotten on her face when she had told El she was definitely not throwing her a surprise birthday party, even though she totally had. That look scared her.
“Life works in mysterious ways, Ellie. Remember that.”
Yeah, that’s exactly what El was afraid of.
Turns out that Max’s “I don’t want you knowing anything about the boy I’m talking to, not even his name” rule was only going to stick around until Max needed something. Realistically, this shouldn’t have surprised El that much, Max often only revealed important parts of herself when it was critical to her own life. Not that El really cared one way or anything, but really, she should have seen this coming.
“Please, El. I’m all the way across campus and have to work after class. I don’t want to have to go over there after work, you’re already on that side of campus can you please?” Max was practically begging over the phone. El was on her way to the library to study for her bio final so it really wouldn’t be that much of a hassle, but she was kind of enjoying hearing Max beg.
“I don’t know.” El sang, already crossing the street to get to the dorm that she knew Max’s mystery boy lived in. While she was totally fine with Max keeping his name to herself, she had insisted on knowing where he lived so she knew where Max was when she disappeared for hours on end.
She heard Max sigh loudly on the other end of the phone and she grinned. “You’re going to make me beg aren’t you?” She grumbled, and El could hear shuffling at the other hand, and other distant voices. Max must be in class by now.
“Maybe.” El teased, drawing out the word and giggling slightly. Max groaned and El smirked, digging around her bag and brandishing her ID card so she could get into the dorm building. “I’m just kidding, I’m already standing in front of the building.”
“You’re so annoying.” Max mumbled, causing El to laugh. “But, thanks. I’m fucked if I don’t pass my chem test tomorrow, so I would have died if I didn’t have my book.”
Crinkling her eyebrows together, El pushed the front door of the building open after unlocking it and leaned against one of the walls. “Why did you have your book over here anyway?” She asked, suddenly feeling strange when a couple of very tall guys walked by her and eyed her.
“Because,” Max said, a slam of, what El presumed was a book hitting her desk, punctuating her words. “Lucas is a engineering major so I thought maybe he could try and help me understand it.”
El smirked, suddenly feeling victorious for getting Max to admit his name to her. “So, his name is Lucas.” On the other end she heard Max throw her head down to the tabletop, cursing under her breath.
“Yeah, his name is Lucas and he lives on the second floor. Room 214.” Nodding, El pulled out a pen and wrote the room number on her hand so she wouldn’t forget. The last thing she needed was to knock on someone else’s door, especially when she had no idea who the person on the other side was supposed to look like. “I need to go, the prof is glaring at me, thanks again, Ellie.”
El smiled, “Anytime, MadMax.” She teased, hearing Max groan before there was a click and Max was gone. Still smiling, El pocketed her phone and made her way to the nearest stairwell.
She had never been in this dorm building before, it was the Honors dorm, and El was so not smart enough to live here. It’s not that she wasn’t smart, she had gotten good grades in high school and was doing well in college, but the Honors program was a whole other level.
That’s what was on El’s mind as she made her way down the 2nd floor hallway, her eyes scanning the room numbers. Max dating someone from the Honors program was almost admirable. Max usually didn’t go for nerds. El was so absorbed in her thoughts that she almost walked right past it, and she probably would have if it didn’t have a garishly decorated white board on the front door.
In place of name tags, which are what adorned Max and El’s dorm door, was a rather large white board that looked like it had been attacked with dry erase markers. Words that El didn’t understand and drawings that ranged from simple to elaborate. She was glad that Max had told her Lucas’ name before arriving, because she didn’t see his name anywhere.
Raising her hand, she knocked softly, suddenly nervous. And apparently she had a good reason to be, because when the door opened, she felt the air whoosh out of her lungs like a balloon. Because standing on the other side of the door, was the very boy she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about.
Her tall, freckled faced, dark windswept haired mystery boy, was actually Max’s .
El ignored the way her heart dropped to her feet.
“Hi.” He, Lucas , finally said after a long beat of silence. El wondered if he recognized her, it was unlikely though. Their timely meeting had been almost a whole week ago, and if he was spending as much time with Max as El thought he was, chances are he had forgotten about her a long time ago. “Are you El?”
El nodded, unable to keep the grin off her face at the sound of her name leaving his lips. But she quickly shook it away, this was the boy that her best friend was dating , she couldn’t allow herself to get so giddy about this. “Yeah, that’s me.”
Lucas laughed and El’s heart drummed happily in her chest. “Yeah, Max mentioned that you were coming by to get it, she sounded pretty freaked out about potentially not having it for her test tomorrow.”
Grabbing the book from one of the desks, Lucas passed it to El, their hands brushing. El could feel her skin warm at the feeling of his hand against hers, and she really, really hoped it wasn’t written all over her face. The last thing she needed was Max’s boyfriend, for a lack of a better term, to think she had a crush on him.
Well, she did kind of have a crush on him. But, he certainly did not need to know that.
“There’s a pretty good chance that I’ll spend more time with this book tonight then she will, but I’ll get it in the right hands.” El says, causing Lucas to laugh. She smiled, biting her bottom lip to keep it from practically breaking her face in too.
God, she needed to get out of here.
“Well, I’ve been doing some of it with her and she’s got a pretty good hand at it, I think she just doesn’t want to admit that she actually likes science.” El can’t help the laugh that escapes her lips and she shakes her head. There’s a teasing look in his eye and El’s stomach swoops.
“That sounds like Max.”
They both laugh, the sound filling the small dorm room, before silence settles over them. It’s a little awkward and goes on longer than El would have liked, so she’s the first one that breaks it, clearing her throat. Lucas looks at her, and El can’t help but gulp, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“I should get going, I have work in like twenty minutes and I don’t want to be late.” El said, putting Max’s book in her bag and folding her hands in front of her. There was a look on Lucas’ face that El couldn’t quite place, and she ignored the way it made her insides twist.
“Yeah, right, of course.” He smiles and El swears her entire body feels like it’s going to light on fire. There has to be a blush on her face at this point based on how hot it feels, and she almost wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole. “I wouldn’t want to be the reason you get fired.”
He’s joking, and El can’t help the smile that breaks out across her lips. When she meets his eyes, he has a smirk on his face and El’s heart pitter patters in her chest. She lingers for a moment, before finally turning towards the door.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” She says, and he nods. “Thanks again, I’m sure Max will appreciate it.” Lucas smiles at and El swears his freckles dance across his skin. Max is so lucky. She thinks before shaking that thought from her head.
“I’m happy to help.”
She smiles. “Bye.” Her voice is soft and she gives him a soft wave before pushing herself out the door. Once she’s in the hallway, she leans against the wall next to the door, breathing out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t even been aware she was holding.
She tried to ignore the burning of unshed tears, wiping at her eyes before they could slip down her cheeks. The last thing she needed was to be that girl crying in the hallway of a dorm that she didn’t even live in. Especially because the reason for her tears was so, so stupid.
Sure, she had a crush on her best friend’s boyfriend, and yeah, the mere thought of him was enough to send her entire body into overdrive. But she could get over that, she would have to.
It was certainly nothing to cry over.
After the punching realization that the boy she had been thinking about was actually dating her best friend, life apparently wasn’t done being cruel to El. Because after she learned this, very crucial, piece of information, she saw Lucas everywhere.
Whether it be in the library when she was working, or two tables over in the dining hall, or even just walking down the sidewalk, it seemed like life just wanted to keep reminding her that not only did he exist, but that he was totally off limits. El hated it.
Especially because he always looked so happy to see her.
El is almost positive that it would be easier to ignore the way her heart sped up and her palms began to sweat if Lucas’ face didn’t stretch into a face splitting smile whenever he saw her. Curse Max for dating someone who was nice and cute.
It also didn’t help that Max was harping on El’s “future mystery boyfriend” and El didn’t have the heart to tell her that that ship sailed the minute Lucas opened the door. Basically, El was fairly certain that life was out to get her in every single way possible.
“So, Lucas and I are going to this wing place tonight that just opened, I think his roommate is coming with us, wanna come?” Max asked one morning, about two weeks after El had met Lucas. “You can like, officially meet him.”
El rolled her eyes from where she was standing by her mirror, her hairbrush stopping it’s motions. “I already met him, Max, remember.”
“Yeah, I remember. But Lucas never mentions it, and besides, talking to someone for three minutes doesn’t really count.” Max said, and El tried to ignore the way her heart paused in her chest. Was she really that unremarkable that Lucas never even bothered to mention her to Max.
Swallowing the weird lump in her throat, El shook her head. She didn’t have plans tonight, but she also didn’t really want to watch Max and Lucas together all night. “Um, I don’t think I can. I have a bunch of reading for my English class, and I want to get a jump start on it.”
Max groaned and El watched her throw her head back in the mirror. “You’re so boring sometimes, you know that.” El bristled, her spine straightening. She knew Max was teasing her, but she couldn’t help but be slightly offended. She already felt bad enough that the whole reason she didn’t want to go is because the idea of seeing Lucas and Max together still kind of made her stomach twist.
“I think you’ll survive without me.” El said, hoping Max didn’t pick up on the stiffness in her voice. She didn’t need Max thinking she was mad at her, because she wasn't. None of this was Max’s fault.
At that, Max smirked, but didn’t respond, merely grabbing her stuff from her bed and blowing El a kiss as she exited the room. When she was gone, El took a deep breath, pushing her forehead against the mirror. She needed to get over whatever the hell was going on with her, and fast.
Unfortunately for her, that certainly didn’t seem like it was going to be happening anytime soon, because forty fives minutes later, about ten minutes into her shift at the library, deep in the psychology stacks, she ran into the one person she was trying to desperately to avoid.
“Oh, hi El.” El, who hadn’t noticed him at first, and had an arm full of, rather heavy, books, felt her face burn as some of them tumbled to the ground when she jumped in shock. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Shaking her head, El bent down to the floor, trying not to blush too much when Lucas handed her some of the books that had fallen close to his feet. “It’s fine, I was off in my own little world, a pin dropping would have given me the same reaction.”
Lucas laughed and El felt her heart flip in her chest. “Well still, that was my fault.” He paused, and El took the beat of silence as an opportunity to place a couple of the books on the shelf. “I didn’t know you worked here. I’ve seen you in here a couple of times but I didn’t know that was why.” He said, tilting his head as he looked at her.
“Well to be fair, we have only spoken once.” El lightly teased, smiling slightly. “But yeah, perks of being the child of a single parent.” She joked.
“You do make a good point.” Lucas said, nodding his head, his hair falling in his eyes. El tried not to stare as he pushed his curls back, causing them to stick up haphazardly. He then grinned and El swallowed. “Is this what your job at the library entails? Restocking books.”
El nodded, smiling at the way Lucas’ eyebrows lifted ever so slightly. “Pretty much. Sometimes I get to sit at the front desk, but this is my first semester, so I kind of get stuck doing all the boring jobs.” She shrugged, lifting herself up on her tiptoes to put some of the books back, Lucas however, saw her struggle and grabbed the books from her, using his height to easily place them on the top shelf. She smiled, blush creeping onto her cheeks. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.” He smiled, and when El looked up at him she swore her heart was beating so quickly that she almost feared it would beat right out of her chest. They looked at each other for a moment and El swore that the world felt like it was going to stop turning around them. His face was far closer to hers then she was expecting and she almost fell over with how quickly she stepped away from him.
Tucking her hair behind her ears, El cleared her throat, mentally cursing herself for how quickly her heart was beating. This was her best friend’s boyfriend , she needed to have a little more self control. “So, any reason you’re lurking in the psychology stacks?” She teased, trying to shift her train of thought away from what had just happened. “Last I knew, you were some kind of science major.”
Lucas nodded, picking a book off the shelf, looking at the title before putting it back. “I am. But I’m also a creative writing minor, so I need to take some humanities classes.” He shrugged, his eyes scanning the book shelf before he looked at her again. “It’s kind of kicking my ass, though.”
So, not only was he smart enough to live in the honors dorms as a science major but he also loved to write? God, she wished she was Max.
“Well, I’m a psych major, so if you need any help, I’d be happy to.” She said, almost immediately regretting the words as soon as they leave her mouth. It’s not that she doesn’t want to help him, but lord knows if she spends anymore time with him she’s only going to develop an even bigger crush on him.
However, her regret dispels as soon as she sees the smile the spreads across his face, as he sighs in relief. “Really? That would be awesome.” She smiles, nodding her head.
“Yeah, no problem.” El clears her throat, itching to pull at the collar of her t shirt, suddenly feeling warm all over her body. “Whenever you want to meet works for me.”
Lucas nodded, and scrunched his face up slightly in thought. El’s stomach swooped in her chest and she rubbed her hands lightly against the fabric of her jeans when they started to sweat. “Well, I’m busy this weekend, but what about Monday?”
El swallowed, she knew the reason he would be busy this weekend. Max had already warned her that she would probably be spending most of her weekend with Lucas. “Yeah, Monday works for me.”
“You doing anything fun this weekend?” Lucas asks after a beat of silence, his eyes trained on a book in his hand. She can see a smile playing on the corners of his lips and she has to take a deep breath, focusing on putting some of the books back on the shelf, clearing her throat before she speaks.
“That depends on whether or not you considering writing a paper fun.” She joked, her stomach flipping when she heard his laugh. “Although, I hear that I’ll be missing out on quite the adventure tonight.”
She swears she hears Lucas groan, but when she glances at him, he’s got an amused look on his face. Her heart twists. “Yeah, it’s all Max’s idea. But, I think it’ll be fun.” El nods, and tries her best to ignore the sudden discomfort that she feels. She knows it’s her fault, however, she is the one that mentioned tonight in the first place.
There’s another beat of silence, and Lucas hums, snapping the book in his hand shut. “Well, I think I finally found what I was looking for.” He picks up his backpack from the ground and El feels herself swallow when she sees the stretch of skin between his t shirt and his jeans when he stretches. God, get it together, El! The voice in her head screams at her. This is your best friend’s boyfriend for crying out loud.
She feels a deep blush cover her face and she forces a small smile at him. “Thank you again, for the help.” She says, gesturing the small pile of books she still has left to put away. “I probably would still be standing on my tiptoes if you weren’t here.”
“I’m happy my height could be of service.” He jokes, his eyes twinkling. “Too bad you’re not in Harry Potter where you could like, use a wand to float the books onto the shelves.” El’s heart lifted in her chest, a laugh escaping her lips.
So, not only was he smart, kind and cute, but he also made Harry Potter references? It was almost unfair at this point.
“That’s the dream.” She quips, watching the apples of Lucas’ cheeks lift and his freckles dance across his skin. They remind her of stars and she doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything to pretty. “So, do you want to just meet here on Monday?” She definitely regrets offering to help him, as the idea of being alone with him made her palms sweat and her heart race, but it was too late now and El didn’t want to be rude.
“Yeah, that sounds awesome. Thanks again.” He gives her a grateful smile and El nods, shrugging her shoulders. “You’re a lifesaver, seriously.”
El mentally curses, he has absolutely no idea the effect that he has on her. “Like I said, before, I’m happy to do it."
“I know, but still. It’s incredibly nice of you.” She watches as Lucas licks his lips and she swallows. “I should get going, thanks again, El.”
“Yeah, no problem.” With that, Lucas nods at her, giving her another small smile. She can’t help but watch him as he brushes past her and disappears into the stacks of books towards the exit. “Bye, Lucas.” She whispers as his form fades from her view.
She hates herself more and more with each step that he takes.
El knows it’s overdramatic, but she spends pretty much her entire weekend in bed.
It’s not necessarily intentional, at least at first, she’s already in bed on Friday night when Max sends her the picture. It’s getting kind of late, the sun is down and El’s turned off her overhead light, relying on her Christmas lights and desk lamp to cast a warm glow over the room. She’s finished with her essay, at least for the night, and is scrolling through Netflix when her phone dings.
She figures it’s from Max before she even looks, Max is the only person who texts her, besides the occasional one word message from her father. El opens the notification without thinking much of it, assuming it’s a message about her going to Lucas’ room or telling El not to wait up. So, she’s surprised when a picture pops up on her screen.
It’s Max, all wild mess of red hair and wide blue eyes. She’s got her tongue out and her head is leaning against Lucas’ shoulder. El’s gaze only focuses on her friend for a moment before it shifts to Lucas, whose face is pink, his black hair curling around his face like a halo. He’s smiling at the camera, looking almost embarrassed to be caught in such a situation.
El’s heart squeezes in her chest.
She doesn't respond to the message. She knows it’s petty, but based on the caption, which had been a string of letters that vaguely looked like they read “i’m drunk”, she doubts Max will even remember that she sent it.
Max doesn’t come back that night, El pretends that she doesn’t notice.
Saturday, when Max comes in a little after the sun has peaked over the horizon, El fakes still being asleep. That doesn’t stop Max from making noise as she slams her dresser and closet shut, the sound of her zipping her backpack being particularly loud, but it stops her from trying to talk to El, which is enough.
Max is gone the rest of the day, sending El a couple of texts to tell her where she is and who she’s with (it’s always Lucas and El forces herself to act like each time she reads it doesn’t feel like a stab to the heart). El manages to get her essay done and dabbles in her other homework assignments, desperate to keep her mind on anything but Max and Lucas together.
Another night comes and goes without a single sight of Max. This time, El doesn’t even bother pretending she thinks Max will come back.
By the time Sunday rolled around, El had almost resigned to the fact that she might not see Max again until Monday evening when they both had completed their classes for the day, but even that seemed like a little bit a stretch. It’s not that she was judging Max for spending all weekend with her boyfriend, lord knows El would too if she had someone who looked like Lucas, or someone who was Lucas, as one, she would be doing the same thing.
That didn’t mean she couldn’t be upset that her best friend had essentially abandoned her all weekend.
However, El is proven wrong when Sunday evening, just after the sun has began going down, casting the room in a soft, orange glow, the door creaks open and Max appears, a small smile on her face and a pizza box in her hands. El, who is trying to read the newest Game of Thrones novel, looks up, her stomach rumbling at the sight of food. Considering she’s hardly left her room all weekend, that also meant that she’s been living off her frozen food.
“I come bearing gifts.” Max says as she fully steps into the room, kicking the door behind her. “Pepperoni and bacon, your favorite.” She has a smile on her face and El grins.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” She says, putting her book aside and scooting over on her bed so Max can sit next to her. It’s not uncommon, for them to sit side by side on one of their beds and talk and eat pizza, but it’s been so long since they did it. Both of them busy with class and work.
Max laughs, climbing up on El’s bed and snuggling next to her. El throws her blanket over their legs and grabs her laptop, so they can watch Netflix while they eat. “Once or twice but I’m always down to hear it again.”
El smiles and they sit in silence for a few moments, El clicking on a random episode of Friends for them to watch. Max hands her a slice of pizza and for the first ten minutes of the episode, they don’t talk, merely enjoying each other’s company and laughing along to the show. Max has her head pillowed on El’s shoulder, and El pauses when she hears Max sigh.
“I’m sorry, Ellie.” She says, her voice slightly muffled against El’s t shirt. El furrows her eyebrows. “I didn’t mean to abandon you all weekend.”
El feels her heart stop in her chest, guilt seeping through her veins. “It’s okay.” She says softly, hoping that Max doesn’t catch the obvious guilt in her tone. “You were with Lucas, I understand.”
Against her shoulder, she feels Max smile and her heart sinks to her stomach. “I really, really like him, Ellie.” Max’s voice is unlike El has ever heard it before, it sounds almost dreamy and El is pretty sure she’s never hated herself more in her entire life than she has in this moment.
“You deserve to be happy, Maxie.” El says after a moment, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. She means every word of it, Max has been through a lot in her life and deserves nothing but happiness, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t twinge at El’s heart just a little bit.
Honestly, that just makes El hate herself all the more.
The next day, El is practically dreading her library session with Lucas.
All of that is on her, she’s not going to deny that at all, but after her talk with Max last night, El doesn’t know if she’ll be able to face it. Her indescribable amount of guilt about this entire weekend on top of her still very much palpable crush on him was making her very much not excited about seeing him.
Because really, she doubts spending an hour or two with him will make either one of those things go away. In fact, she’s sure that it’ll just make them worse.
El spends pretty much her entire Monday wishing for four o’clock to never arrive. But, unfortunately, for the first time, pretty much ever, her Monday whizzes by and before El can blink she only has a half an hour to rush back to her room, grab her stuff and get to the library to meet Lucas.
She’s in such a haze when she flings the door to her and Max’s room open, focused only on finding her book and not being late, that at first she doesn’t notice the movement happening on Max’s bed that’s definitely not just Max doing her homework. It’s only when El has turned around back towards the door, book in hand, when she realizes what she saw and stops.
Spinning around slowly on her heel, she takes in what’s going on, and her heart thunders in her chest. Max is in the middle of what looks to be a very, very intense kissing session with someone who is definitely, very much, not Lucas.
“Max.” El says after a second, her heart pounding in her ears and her hands trembling slightly. She can’t believe Max. Less than twenty four hours ago, Max was telling her how much she liked Lucas and how happy she was and now she was kissing some other boy. There were so many feelings that El could feel boiling up inside of her and that was she was almost afraid she was going to explode.
“Oh my god, El.” Max said, pulling away from her kiss, her cheeks red and a smile on her face. A giggle escaped her lips and her partner looked just as pleased with what had just transpired. El wondered if he knew what he was helping Max to do. “I totally wasn’t expecting you to walk in, sorry about that.”
She doesn’t look sorry and El has to take one, two, three deep breaths before she can even look Max in the face. “Clearly.” Her voice is clipped and she watches as Max’s face morphs from happiness to confusion. “How could you?” El barely whispers, her hand that’s not holding her psych book still shaking.
Max slips off her bed, throwing a look to the boy, who looks just as confused as Max does, and comes to stand in front of El. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were going to be coming in, I thought you were going to the library.”
El practically scoffs. She knows deep down that this isn’t her place, she shouldn’t get involved with Max’s relationship, but Max had confided in her yesterday, and they were best friends and someone needed to tell Max what she was doing wasn’t okay. “Yeah, I was to meet your boyfriend. So you took that as an opportunity to go around kissing someone else.”
She doesn’t know what she expects with her words, but Max turning around to share a very confused glance with the boy she had been kissing before looking back at El certainly wasn’t it. “What?”
“Your boyfriend, you know, tall, freckles, curly black hair.” Max’s eyebrows raise and her eyes widen and El swallows. “Sound familiar?”
“Oh my god.” And with her words Max starts laughing, her head thrown back and her hand covering her mouth. “I shouldn’t be laughing but El, that’s not my boyfriend.” El stops, blood rushing to her face in embarrassment.
“What?” Her voice is quiet, but Max still hears her. The boy on Max’s bed has an amused smile on his face and suddenly El feels like she’s missing out on some kind of joke. “I’m confused.”
Max nods, pushing her hair back from her face and licking her lips, clearly trying to hold back her grin. “That boy, the tall one with freckles and curly black hair, that’s Mike.” Mike . El’s eyebrows crinkle together in confusion and she tilts her head slightly. “This is Lucas.” The boy, Lucas, waves from the bed, still grinning and El barely manages to hold her hand up to wave back.
“Who’s Mike?” El finally says, feeling more confused than she did before. There was a slight relief that she felt, knowing that the boy she had been crushing on and thinking about for weeks wasn’t in fact her best friend’s boyfriend, but she still didn’t know who he was.
“Mike’s my roommate.” Lucas says, getting off the bed to come and stand next to Max. “The reason he probably never introduced himself is because he gets nervous when talking to pretty girls.” El feels herself blush at Lucas’ words, her face warming.
“Wait, do you think El is the girl that Mike was talking about on Friday, the cute one from the library.” El’s heart swoops in her chest and her stomach flips. Mike had told Max and Lucas about her.
She watches as Lucas smirks, sharing a look with Max. “Yeah, I would say it’s probably her.” El, once again, feels like she’s out of the loop but she still smiles, trying not to look too excited about what they’re saying. She doubts that Mike actually said anything about her.
“You don’t need to lie to me to make me feel better about getting all confused.” El says to Max, watching as her friends rolls her eyes, but doesn’t argue. “If you’ll excuse me, now I need to go, or else I’m going to be late.”
Max and Lucas share another look, but don’t say anything. Max gives her a small smile, waving as El disappears out the door. She’s definitely, one hundred percent more confused than she was about fifteen minutes ago, but she’s also definitely, definitely , relieved.
Now she suddenly doesn’t feel so guilty about her ever growing crush on Lucas, no Mike , and she almost doesn’t want it to go away.
Ultimately, she ends up being about fifteen minutes late to meet Mike, whose waiting for her in the lobby of the library, but he doesn’t seem upset when she walks up to him. If anything, he looks like he had been worried about her.
“Hey, sorry I’m late.” She says when she’s in front of him, her heart speeding up immediately in his presence.
“It’s okay.” He shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I was actually worried something had happened to you or something.”
El smiles, biting down on her bottom lip and hoping that her complexion doesn’t betray her. “Well, I did walk in Max and Lucas kissing, so I think my eyes have now seen more than they ever wanted to.” She jokes, smiling when Mike laughs.
“I’ve been there, happened multiple times this weekend. I was so relieved when Max finally left on Sunday.” He says, pushing his hair back from his face. The expression on his face morphs though, when he realizes what he said. “Not that I have anything against Max, obviously, I just was getting tired of being mentally scarred every time I walked into my room.”
El nods, “Yeah, I totally understand the feeling. Luckily, Max didn’t want me to meet Lucas for the first couple weeks they were dating, so I was exempt from having to see it, but now I guess my luck has changed.”
“You are very lucky in that regard, Lucas pretty much told me that he didn’t really care how uncomfortable it made me, so I needed to deal with it.” He shakes his head, almost like he’s remembering the exact conversation and El giggles. “I’m happy he’s happy, but I also don’t need to see that.”
His face scrunches in disgust and El can’t help but throw her head back in laughter. “Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel about it.” Mike snorts and they share a look. “Although I think after today, they probably won’t be spending much time in my room, I think Lucas might think I’m crazy.”
“Why would he think you’re crazy?” Mike asks, beginning to walk in the direction of the study rooms near the back of the library. “I mean, we’ve only spoken a couple of times, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that you’re very much not crazy.” El smiled, looking down at the floor. “Unless of course you’re leading me into this private study room to murder me or something, then I might change my answer.”
El can’t help but laugh, looking up at Mike, whose smirking down at her. “Trust me, if I wanted to do that I would definitely at least wait until it was dark outside.” She teases, causing Mike to chuckle. It makes her heart warm, being the reason that he laughs like that.
“Well, then, if you’re not a murderer, then chances are you probably aren’t crazy.” Mike says, holding the door open when they arrive at an empty study room. She ducks into the room, taking a seat at the table. “So, I don’t know why Lucas would think that.”
El considers for a moment if she should tell him. Sure, it would be embarrassing and much like Max and Lucas, he would likely laugh at her (and it would hurt a little more coming from him), but she also would rather tell him herself then have him hear it from Max and Lucas later. “Well, it might have something to do with the fact that I met him for the first time just a couple minutes ago and his first introduction to me was me thinking Max was cheating on him.”
Confusion covers Mike’s face like a blanket and she can tell that he’s trying to decipher what she’s saying. “What?” His eyebrows are raised ever so slightly and she can tell that he’s trying not to laugh through his confusion.
She feels herself blush, her face becoming bright red and as she lays her chin across her arms, which are folding on the table. “So, don’t make fun of me too badly, but I kinda thought that you were Lucas.”
El pushes her head against the tabletop once the words leave her mouth, wrapping her arms around her head to hide herself. Her face is still hot with blush and she doesn’t think she’s quite able to face looking at Mike. Especially if he’s going to laugh at her.
But, surprisingly, he doesn’t.
“You thought I was Lucas?” He asks, no hint of teasing or laughter in his voice. El nods, sighing as she pushing her hair away from her face, returning to a sitting position.
“Well, I showed up to get Max’s book that one day and I just kind of assumed.” Mike nods, still not a hint of judgement or amusement laced in his features, and El feels herself relax ever so slightly.
Then he smiles, but it’s not teasing, and El feels her heart dip in her chest. “I suppose I didn’t make it any easier by never actually introducing myself to you, did I?” He says with a small laugh and El smiles.
“No, you really didn’t.” She teases, leaning across the table and shoving his shoulder, already feeling a million times lighter. “So really, this is all your fault.”
Mike shakes his head, laughing and El joins in and before long the two of them are lost in laughter, El practically clutching at her side it hurts so much. She can’t remember the last time she felt this happy.
“Well, let me make it up to you now.” Mike says after they’ve both calmed down enough to breath properly. El’s eyebrows crinkle together at his words, her confusion only rising when he sticks his hand across the table. “My name’s Mike, it’s very, very nice to meet you.”
El laughs before meeting his hand with hers, trying to ignore the jolt of electricity she felt at the touch of their skin. “I’m El, and trust me when I say it’s wonderful to finally meet you.”
It was in that moment that El knew.
Knew that her crush on Mike, last name still unknown, was only going to get worse. But, she was totally, totally okay with that.