Chapter Text
It started as a simple comment, “I thought my sex life was exciting, but this proves that wrong” Nicole had replied to a video Wynonna had posted online. As Waverly stared in horror as machine with a dildo strapped to the end of it starts to malfunction and sends it flying off across the room. She debated even acknowledging she had watched the video, but something nudged her into adding to it. Waverly commented under Nicole’s, “I thought trying a new position would be exciting, guess I’m wrong.”
Throughout the day, the comments section delved into jokes and other puns. Knowing the crowd her sister tended to hang with, Waverly was not surprised. She felt a small bit of jealousy wondering if everyone put on a front online. Her sex life had been rather bland.
Champ in the beginning was adventurous and exciting. After the first year of marriage, that had wore off. He had become complicit with not traveling. She had chalked it up to the fact he traveled so much with work. He was gone for up to two weeks at a time consulting with different farms and ranches about how to survive in the changing economy. Anytime she had tried to spice things up whether it be lingerie or trying new things, it had always spiraled downwards back into the same position and the same level of excitement from him. Some nights she found herself there for the act physically, but mentally she had floated off to somewhere else. Yes he could make her orgasm on occasions, but she found herself always wanting more than what was offered.
Her mind flashed back to the last time. Missionary was his favorite position. Honestly, his only position. As he panted away thrusting inside, she had looked out the window at the city. She watched the moon hang in the sky and dreamed of the nights they had once spent in Paris with the room overlooking the Eiffel Tower. As his breath caught indicating he was getting close, she had lifted her head up and lightly ran her teeth across his neck. Lightly she had caught some skin and bit down. It had felt right in the moment, but he quickly jerked away
“What are you doing babe? You know I can’t have marks on me.”
“I’m sorry I just thought...” Her voice trailed off as he climbed off the bed and headed to the bathroom to check his neck. She rolled over onto her side staring at the moon and dreaming of being touched in a way that sent fire through her like the others at work talked about. Or were talking about right then.
“The way he kissed, I just melted and when it hit that spot, stars” came the comments from Chrissy two desks away.
It wasn’t always like this. During her years in college, Waverly had traveled through most of Europe while living in London. A new adventure each week. When she met Champ, he seemed to share that interest in continuing the journey. During their years of dating they visited Tokyo and France. It was still an adventure, but they didn’t travel as much as Waverly had preferred. A relationship is compromise. Then came the engagement, the wedding, and the beginning of their life together Once the honeymoon was over, their trips came to a halt. The excuses started mounting up until she found herself no longer trying to plan.
Waverly shook away the thoughts. Marriage was work and compromise. It was not perfect. That’s what she had heard. Sometimes she wondered how much of herself she had compromised to make things work versus how much he had. That’s when she latched on to Nicole’s comment. Maybe someone else had the same experience. If a single lesbian felt her love life was vanilla too, maybe she didn’t have anything to worry about. She sent the message.
W: Glad I’m not the only one that’s a little tamer than this. The comment’s section has imploded.
She stared at it for a moment until she saw three dots pop up. Her mind raced at what might have been said next, but she found instead a fairly tame response.
N: I’m not that tame, but even that seemed a little much for me. Sex toys yes, a fucking machine that could malfunction, no thanks. Leave it to Wynonna to post something like that.
Oh, so not as straight forward as she had thought it would be. A sense of dread washed over her as the little voice in the back of her head that had proclaimed after the first year of marriage that something wasn’t right, screamed out once again. She pursed her lips and typed the next line.
W: I think Champ would divorce me if I even asked to try something like that.
N: Come on, he wouldn’t be a little intrigued about what got into his wife?
She could sense it, the playfulness in the wording. Nicole was trying to give her an out to take. Give her a way to save face and not look as jaded by her life as she actually was. She decided not to take it.
W: No, sadly
Three dots appeared
N: That’s...disappointing? I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for exploring new adventures.
The confirmation she was afraid of was staring her in the face. She was sure there were others out there in similar situations, but no on she was close to. Nicole was almost a stranger and yet even she opened up and allowed Waverly to see there was more. She was not alone in wanting more.
W: I’ve wondered, but I have a good marriage, so it’s fine.
There it was. The mantra she had been repeating since the beginning of time it felt like. This time the dots did not appear. She had wondered if maybe Nicole could see the lie. Waverly knew the truth and that was bad enough.
W: So how have the last ten years been?
It started as a way to change the conversation. A way to move past where she was and maybe get Nicole to forget everything she had just said. What it turned into was two weeks of endless conversations discussing where they had been and what they had experienced from skydiving to ziplining. A few places they both had traveled and shared stories of their favorite parts of the area. A love of food was discovered. This lead to hours of staring at menus of places while typing back about what dishes they would try.
Each time the phone lit up, Waverly would find herself smiling. It was nice to have someone new to talk to. One night while scrolling through the menu of their latest discussion, Waverly decided to bring it up to Champ.
“So there’s this whole foodie experience in Portland. Why don’t we go back there and experience it?”
“Why Portland? It’s nothing but bad traffic and homeless people?”
“Don’t you think it would be fun to try the food though? We haven’t been anywhere in nearly a year now. Seattle has options too.”
“Seattle is the same. We’ve already been there. Hey I took you to that farm in Wyoming last year. We stayed in the cabin. That counts”
“It’s not quite the same as us getting away. You spent most of the time working. We barely had one night alone.”
What Waverly didn’t mention was how shocked the ranch hands were to find out Champ had a wife. Something in their surprised looks confirmed to Waverly what she had already suspected. Maybe Champ had not been as faithful as he seemed.
“Look if it means that much to you, I’ll think about it.” He finished the sentence by walking through the bathroom door and closing it. That was his tactic of getting out of it. “I’ll think about it” never happens. Something inside her broke just enough she heard the crack.