Chapter Text
“Come in!”
Ambrosius complied at once, heading straight for Ballister’s bed — and for Ballister himself, who lay stretched out there comfortably, one arm behind his head, the other holding an open book.
“What are you reading?” Ambrosius sat down beside his friend and grabbed the book, turning it over until he could see the cover. “Oh. A medical journal. Of course! I mean, it is Friday night, after all, the time for fun. And what could be more fun than reading up on genetic engineering?”
“I don’t know.” Ballister raised himself up. “I take it you have something in mind?”
“Yes! The music festival in the park. Just imagine…” He threw one arm over Ballister’s shoulders. “No teachers, no classes, no pressure… Classical music, which I know you like… The stars, the warm, flower-scented summer air…”
Ballister shifted away, letting the arm fall: a rather disturbing habit he had lately acquired. “That sounds very romantic. Exactly the sort of event that might be appreciated by... a girlfriend.”
“Well, yes… Bwendolyn will be there, naturally. But there is no need to be jealous—“
Ballister winced. “I have told you before. I am not even remotely jealous of Bwen— of you and your romantic successes. I simply have no wish to be a third wheel.“
“And no need to feel like a third wheel, either.“ Ambrosius laid a hand on Ballister’s arm. “You see, Bwendolyn has promised to bring one of her friends, who is sure to like you. I mean, I have already told her what a promising knight you are: how you are my only real rival, and so on. And of course you are so very good-looking.” Without even trying, at that: it was frustrating how amazing Ballister managed to look no matter what he wore, even when he forgot to comb his hair or fell into a muddy pond, or caused some kind of weird science explosion that covered him in sticky purple goop. Even when he was sick, which made his eyes look darker and deeper and—
Ballister suddenly turned away, breaking eye contact and moving out of Ambrosius’ reach. “It is a kind thought. But I do not think I will be very interested in this friend of Bwendolyn’s.”
“Don’t give up on her before you have even met her! If you two hit it off, we will be able to go on double dates everywhere, all the time. As it is, we hardly see each other anymore. Sometimes, a whole day goes by, and— the shared dormitories were awful, but I sort of miss them.”
“I do know what you mean. But…” Ballister crossed his arms across his chest. “The thing is, girls— I am not really...“
“True, we are not really used to them, after the dorms. But they are all right once you get to know them, I promise. Just people, really. And having a girlfriend is absolutely amazing. You can—”
“Ambrosius, stop.” Ballister’s voice sounded far too tense for someone who claimed not to be jealous. “Spare me the details.”
“As if I would ever speak of unchivalrous things! All I meant to say is that you can act like a proper knight during jousts. Wear a lady’s favour, and all that.”
“I suppose…”
“Also, when you are with someone from… outside, you never have to think about this place at all. You can meet all their friends and, yes, their family, and they assume that you grew up normally, just like them.”
“Ah. I can see why you would enjoy that.”
“So you will come!” Ambrosius leapt up, and held out a hand. “Let’s go, then.”
“No. I am sorry, I just do not think it would work. But—“ He hesitated. “But if you truly want us to spend more time together, again… I think I should— You could meet some of my friends from the science lab.”
The science lab... Of course! Suddenly, everything was clear. Ambrosius clutched at his head. “I have been a total idiot. Of course you do not want a regular girl from Bwendolyn’s set: you need a SCIENCE GIRLFRIEND. Or, wait; do you already have one? Is that why—”
“No, I— But—”
“Never mind,” said Ambrosius quickly, to put him out of his misery. “I am sure I can find you one. Perhaps even by next weekend!”
And with that, he left, the first step of Operation Science Girlfriend already clear in his mind.
—
The main problem was this: if Ballister was going to get a science girlfriend for double-dating purposes, then Ambrosius would need one, as well. And Bwendolyn just would not do. While she was pretty and fun and extremely well-dressed, she did not care for scientists, considering them close-minded and lacking in imagination. It had been hard enough to convince her to spend time with Ballister, who had once offended her horribly by saying something cold-hearted about auras.
Besides, finding a science girlfriend for himself would certainly be easier than finding one for a reserved and selective friend. And then, once Ambrosius had one, he could meet many others. Surely at least one would be doing the right sort of research to appeal to Ballister?
So, really, the Festival date could not have come at a more convenient time. True, Bwendolyn’s friend was a bit of a complication—getting stood up had apparently upset her so much that she could not stop talking about it—but when she wandered off to get ice cream, Ambrosius saw his chance.
Bwendolyn took the breakup well, for something that clearly took her by surprise.
“Why now?” she said, her brown eyes wide. “I know you have never been particularly ardent, but then last week I found you carving our initials on that tree…”
“It felt right at the time, I had had a bit to drink, and— Look, Bwendolyn.” He took both her hands in his. “Please believe me when I say this has nothing to do with you. It is all me. And how busy I am, with Knight lessons, and all the junior tournaments, and now also Science, and so… Er…”
“Oh well.” Bwendolyn shrugged. “Daddy is always saying that I should find myself someone rich, from a good family. I suppose I can, now.”
Ambrosius had been feeling vaguely guilty about the whole business, but the bad feelings lessened after that. Anyway, he had a Step Two to plan.