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Kiss of the Rose

Summary:

"Clearly, my husband is too great a man for one woman to love," Nie Huaisang's wife tells him. "I adore you by day, but am exhausted of you by the evening, and Lanfen finds you delightful by night, but in the sunlight, your beauty is too radiant for her."

"No man was ever blessed as I am. A garden is no garden with only one flower," he answers with a smile, and at the next opportunity, he brings them flowers; for Huiqing, a blue orchid, and for Lanfen night-blooming jasmine.

A few days after that, Huiqing comes to him, looking slightly nervous. "I wonder," she says, "whether my husband has ever considered the possibility of... a greater garden? I received a letter from a friend, and her father..."

And that is how it begins.

Notes:

Okay. This took a while to finish, and then after it was finished it took months to get it to a point where I was ready to post it. I needed to have it checked by enough people to be reasonably confident I hadn't done something unintentionally horrible.

This fic requires special warnings:

There is, at one point, a brief period in which the notable trans female character is referred to via masculine pronouns. At the point in the story where this occurs, the viewpoint character is unaware that she is actually a woman. If that is a thing that might cause you distress, please use due caution.

I have done my best to write her appropriately. If I have erred, I apologise.

A number of people have been waiting very patiently for this fic to make an appearance. I only hope that it is worth the wait.

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

Nie Huaisang's marriage is just a way of solving a problem.

Niu Huiqing lives in the town of Xianfeng, which lies just outside the Unclean Realm. Her mother and Huaisang's were friends, and Huaisang and Huiqing have been friends themselves all their lives. As a child, Huaisang would run to Xianfeng to escape his father and brother's tempers, and spend his time instead in Huiqing's gentle company.

During the Sunshot Campaign, when his own duties were suddenly inescapable and mounting rapidly, Huiqing came to the Unclean Realm and rendered invaluable assistance. She worked tirelessly nursing the wounded, and in the rare moments when they could snatch a moment of respite, she would join him for tea, and she was company and comfort.

Huaisang was - and remains - proud and grateful to call her his friend.

As a consequence, it is a matter of great concern to him when she comes to him in tears. He draws from her the explanation that a wealthy merchant has offered her father a substantial sum for her hand in marriage, and her father is inclined to accept.

Huiqing, Huaisang knows, has little interest in marrying a man, but her father will be unlikely to see that as a particularly powerful argument against the matter.

He thinks very quickly.

"Marry me instead," he says. "Your father would not dare to refuse me when it would undoubtedly offend da-ge."

"But -" she says, biting her lip, and he smiles reassuringly.

"I will not ask anything of you but that you remain my dearest friend," he tells her, and that, in the end, is that.

---

For all that it was necessity, he is quietly pleased by the decision to marry Huiqing. She moves to the Unclean Realm to stay, and Huaisang is no longer surrounded solely by the exhaustingly aggressive cultivators of his sect. Da-ge is pleased; he likes Huiqing well enough, and is carefully courteous to her. Huaisang does not tell him that Huiqing's extensive experiences tending to wounded cultivators during the Sunshot Campaign proved long since that her spine is of finest steel, because da-ge's efforts to be calm and gentle (by his standards, at least) in her presence are probably good for him.

Huaisang has not missed the evidence of da-ge's deteriorating temper, despite the ongoing efforts of the Lan.

One evening, Huiqing speaks to him, frowning, of her friend Yan Lanfen. (Yan Lanfen, Huaisang is well aware, is one of the more notable reasons why Huiqing had no desire to marry a man.) Yan Lanfen's family, it seems, have come to take issue with the frequency of her visits to the Unclean Realm.

Huiqing is quite upset, and Huaisang dislikes that.

"There is only one thing to be done," he says with a smile, and thus it is that he acquires the first of his concubines.

Huiqing and Lanfen are very happy together, and Huaisang, for himself, is pleased for them. When the two of them conclude that they wish to have a child, he is only too happy to be of assistance; Lanfen is very beautiful, and he is fond of her. They enjoy one another's intimate company very much, and Huiqing is not jealous. Even after Lanfen becomes pregnant, they continue, on occasion, to enjoy one another's company.

Lanfen is less fond of him outside of the bedroom.

Huiqing teases him about it. "Clearly, my husband is too great a man for one woman to love," she says. "I adore you by day, but am exhausted of you by the evening, and Lanfen finds you delightful by night, but in the sunlight, your beauty is too radiant for her."

"No man was ever blessed as I am. A garden is no garden with only one flower," he tells her with a smile, and at the next opportunity, he brings them flowers; for Huiqing, a blue orchid, and for Lanfen night-blooming jasmine.

A few days after that, Huiqing comes to him, looking slightly nervous. "I wonder," she says, "whether my husband has ever considered the possibility of... a greater garden? I received a letter from a friend, and her father..."

And that is how it begins. There are, in the world, women whose families are unkind, or who face the prospect of unwelcome marriages. Life as Huaisang's concubine is, it seems, a preferable alternative, and da-ge does not object, and Huaisang likes people to be happy and treated well, his wife and concubines among them.

Some of them disappear into the ranks of the Nie. Some of them stay in the family wing of the Unclean Realm, taking apparent pleasure in one another's company. (He does not ask, and definitely does not involve himself in any disputes between them; that is Huiqing's province.) Some of them want children of their own, and Huaisang is pleased to oblige there too.

There is a period in which he has little time to spend at home, and it is good to know that the women have each other, that his children have them all. He is needed at Lotus Pier, where Jiang-xiong's wife Madam Wen is working on a possible treatment for da-ge. Her experiments are unpleasant. Sometimes uncomfortable, sometimes a tearing agony, sometimes just strangely unnerving, but Huaisang places himself at her disposal, because da-ge continues to deteriorate.

And then, at last, Madam Wen's experiment feels good - curling warmth through his body and soul, until his muscles are liquid and he just wants - he wants a baby to cuddle and a cat to pet, or maybe he is the cat and he just wants a sunbeam to nap in.

After her new treatment has been tested on Wei-xiong - Huaisang does not ask why Wei-xiong would be in need of it, he is pretty sure he knows and very sure he does not wish to admit or acknowledge that he knows - it is ready for da-ge.

Huaisang is reasonably confident that da-ge will probably, if grudgingly, submit to it because Huaisang wants him to. Probably. Da-ge has not approved of this project, for many reasons, but Huaisang suspects that his brother might, just a little bit, feel as if it is somehow cowardice to turn away from the fate that has befallen their ancestors.

He might resist.

So Huaisang sends two messages. The second is to da-ge, asking him to come to Lotus Pier, but that one he sends only after he has received a response to the first - an invitation to Wen Qionglin.

The Wen Sect Leader presents himself promptly and asks, "What do you need, Huaisang-ge?"

It took Nie Huaisang more than a year to begin to be convinced that the young Wen Sect Leader could be trusted at all. He seems too sweet to be believed, but if he is pretending, he has pretended long enough and well enough that Huaisang thinks he deserves to be believed anyway. His affection for da-ge - and Wei-xiong - seems earnest, not a trick to gain sympathy.

And, really, he is adorable, and watching da-ge's attempts to be stern with him falter is hilarious. Da-ge would like to be Wen Qionglin's exacting and strict mentor, encouraging the younger man to be firm in his new responsibilities.

Da-ge is in reality Wen Qionglin's protector. At conferences, where da-ge would be pleased if Wen Qionglin were assertive with those who would give insult to the Wen, da-ge keeps Wen Qionglin where he can see him and glares menacingly at anyone who might think to give insult to the Wen, and no-one dares.

"Wen-xiong," Huaisang says warmly, "your sister has found a treatment for da-ge's illness."

Wen Qionglin beams, sweet and proud. "My sister is the best doctor," he says happily. "I am glad Nie-gege will recover!"

"I hope he will," Huaisang says. "But he might not want to accept the treatment. He is very proud, and, well." He stops, because that's probably enough. Wen Qionglin's eyes have gone very big and his expression has gone serious.

"We will have to convince him that it is necessary," Wen Qionglin says, and in this, he is firm. "I think I understand why you called me, Huaisang-ge," he adds, with a hint of a smile. "I will do my best to be of assistance."

When da-ge arrives, and it is explained to him, Huaisang can see his brother wanting to refuse.

But Huaisang is being as imploring as he can be, and next to him Wen Qionglin is an absolute vision of earnestly tragic sweetness.

Da-ge will live.

---

Da-ge stays in Lotus Pier for several iterations of Madam Wen's new treatment while Huaisang returns to the Unclean Realm. When at last da-ge returns, Huaisang is all but overcome at the change in him.

Da-ge is still gruff, and still his irritable self, but he is the grumpy brother Huaisang remembers from his childhood. He can be irritated without being furious, and it is not such a visibly towering effort for him to be gentler with the people who are important to him. The difference is clear from the moment he gets home; when he arrives, Huaisang is being visited by A-Tian, his eldest son. (Huiqing is there too, having brought the child to see his father, but she's working through some of Huaisang's paperwork, because she is the best and most wonderful friend a man could ever ask to have.)

A-Tian shouts with happiness and toddles over to da-ge, grabbing eagerly at his knees, and da-ge smiles and scoops his nephew into his arms, tossing him into the air and laughing when A-Tian squeals with delight.

Da-ge has always been gentle with Huaisang's children and they love him, but Huaisang can't remember the last time he saw his brother laugh. Huaisang can feel tears pricking at his eyes, even as da-ge gives A-Tian to Huiqing and asks to speak to Huaisang alone.

It's clear that Huiqing can see the difference in him too. Her smile is warm and joyful for both of them as she takes the boy away.

"I have learned, Huaisang, that Madam Wen is a remarkable woman," da-ge says as he sits. "I feel very different."

Huaisang's heart is too full to reply. He expects da-ge to be angered by that, but his smile simply becomes rueful.

"I know," da-ge says, "that you have worried about me. I understand you allowed her to test her methods on you. I'm told that at times it was very difficult for you, but you insisted on continuing." His smile widens, just a little, then fades as he continues. "That was very brave of you, Huaisang. You showed great strength and courage. I know you know that I disapproved of your project, but you continued with it through great hardship, despite my disapproval." He pauses, looking at Huaisang for a long moment.

Huaisang wonders what is coming, because da-ge doesn't seem angry, and he has forgotten what da-ge is like when he isn't angry.

And then a hint of his smile returns. "I'm proud of you, didi," he says quietly. "Thank you."

Huaisang feels his tears fall, but da-ge simply reaches across the desk and squeezes his shoulder.

"I know it's been difficult," da-ge says, more gently than Huaisang remembers ever hearing him speak. "It's going to be better now."

---

It is better.

Da-ge strides through the Unclean Realm with renewed vigour. The Lan disciples still journey here to practice their musical cultivation, and da-ge submits with far more grace, now; their ministrations are extended to other cultivators of the Nie, now that da-ge is not so critical. The curse of the Nie can now be treated; as a matter of courtesy to Madam Wen, they will take care not to need to be treated more often than they have to be.

Years pass, and Huaisang barely notices the arrival of new concubines any more. He supports the women when they ask him to, but Huiqing seems to have them all in hand. He has his own interests and occupations, in any case, and his domestic arrangements are... sufficient. Sometimes the women want children, and seek his company, which is generally enjoyable. Sometimes they seek his company simply because they seek his company, which is always enjoyable.

And his children are, somewhat to his surprise, rather wonderful.

They are becoming numerous, and Huaisang must lock himself in his office if he wishes to go more than a few moments without a piping voice calling for his attention, or small hands tugging at his robes. But he can do that, when he needs to, because most of the care of his children is the province of their mothers.

But some of it is da-ge's, and Huaisang discovers that watching his brother with his children is perhaps his favourite activity, because these are the people he loves most in all the world and to see them together is the purest joy he has known.

To see da-ge crouching in the training hall, very seriously correcting A-Tian's stance with his little wooden sabre, guiding Huaisang's son through forms and smiling with pride when he completes them.

To see da-ge upbraiding one of his captains - they have learned that the man is a bully and a gossip, and da-ge is furious, and acted upon the information immediately upon receiving it - despite the fact that at that moment two of Huaisang's daughters were braiding his hair, and they are peacefully finishing the job even as da-ge bellows his rage at the captain.

Huaisang is pleased, too, to see his children with those of their extended family - da-ge's sworn brothers enmesh the five elite sects like a spider's web, connected to one another by ties of affection. Marriage and kinship bind them together in ways that could be safety or terrible danger, depending on how things play out. All but the Nie have married one another's siblings; Huaisang is already married, and does not regret it, and he doubts that a political marriage for da-ge would be a particularly good idea even if anyone still had a spare sibling. Huaisang must take other steps to ensure that the Nie remain deeply enmeshed in the web.

He has already provided an apartment for Wei-xiong and Hanguang-Jun, who travel the world constantly and have homes at every elite sect. Their son has been given the courtesy name Sizhui, and remains a charming child; Huaisang encourages his children to spend time with him, when he visits, and he knows they all adore the boy. The announcement that Lan Sizhui has arrived provokes raptures of delight from his own children. It's a start.

He makes a connection he had not specifically intended on a visit to Jinlintai.

Jin Guangyao is Sect Leader Jin's brother, seneschal, and advisor. He is small, and has a gentle demeanour.

He has a flawless memory for every tiny detail about a person, and an impenetrable mask of a smile.

Jin Guangyao is one of the most dangerous people Huaisang has ever met, and Huaisang counts Wei Wuxian as a friend.

So long as their goals are aligned, however - and he thinks that they are, for now - Jin Guangyao is a good ally to have. Huaisang visits him as one sect leader's brother to another, but they are not quite friends, and he's not sure how they could become so.

And then on one visit, it becomes unnecessary for him to befriend Jin Guangyao himself, because he befriends Jin Guangyao's son instead.

There is a small sect at Gucheng, between Lanling and Qinghe, that is becoming quite obnoxious of late. It's not urgent, and Huaisang finds the whole subject utterly tedious and does not try to hide it, but the Nie and Jin would be best served taking a unified position on the topic. It is in the midst of that discussion that the door to Jin Guangyao's office bursts open and a boy enters.

"A-Yu," Jin Guangyao says reprovingly. There is a sudden wary tension in the way he watches Huaisang.

"Oh! I'm so sorry," the boy says brightly, "I thought you were alone." He bows, and appears to be about to leave, but his eyes catch on Huaisang's fan and go wide. "Oh! How beautiful!" he exclaims, and Huaisang smiles, charmed.

"Would you like to see it?" he offers, because this will instantly be more interesting than talking about Gucheng and the Zhou Sect.

"If I may," the boy says, glancing at Jin Guangyao, who sighs fondly.

"This is my eldest son, Jin Yu, courtesy name Xuanyu," he says. "A-Yu, this is Nie Huaisang, the brother of Chifeng-Zun."

The boy transforms instantly into the model of a perfect young disciple, bowing gracefully and moving through the proper courtesies with demure confidence, and only shows his eagerness again when he approaches at Huaisang's invitation to examine the fan.

Xuanyu has a quick mind and an instinct for beauty. Jin Guangyao appears to relax as Huaisang and Xuanyu talk.

After that, when Jin Guangyao or Jin Zixuan come to Qinghe, they bring Xuanyu to visit too.

Xuanyu is the only person Huaisang has ever known who loves art and beauty the way Huaisang does himself. They while away hours in conversation while Huaisang's brother speaks to Xuanyu's father or uncle.

Huaisang thinks he has placed the wariness in Jin Guangyao when Xuanyu is around, from the circumstances in which it fades, and he likes the man better for it. Xuanyu is an unusual boy. He has talent for the skills expected of a cultivator, but he has love for art and beautiful, fragile things. Jin Guangyao does not seek to crush his son's lively spirit - he is tense and wary when Xuanyu meets new people, because he worries that they will.

Jin Guangyao is not embarrassed by his son, he is protective. Jin Guangyao's mouth curls with satisfaction when Xuanyu is bright and joyful and radiant with delight as he pores over Huaisang's collection of portraits he has painted of beautiful, rare birds. Jin Guangyao warms towards Huaisang in a way he never has before when Huaisang gives Xuanyu a beautiful fan of his very own.

Huaisang has realised that Jin Guangyao can be trusted so long as your goals are in alignment with his. Nurturing Xuanyu's delightful, innocent spirit uncrushed is one they share. It's useful.

He wonders if it might be a connection worth fostering further, but when he delicately hints at the possibility of introducing Xuanyu to one of his daughters, Jin Guangyao demurs, and that wary tension is back for the first time in years when he says, "I do not anticipate a-Yu ever taking a wife."

"Ah," Huaisang says, and thinks for a moment. "You know, I honestly don't know if it seems likely my sons might have interest in such a marriage. I would have to speak to my wife."

Jin Guangyao relaxes.

Huaisang does intend to ask his wife about it - he would never want his own children or Xuanyu to be forced into unwelcome marriage, but there's no harm in introducing them and seeing what happens - but when he goes to speak to her, she's frowning.

"I think Xing Ju has a problem," she says.

"I don't know -" who that is, he begins, but then he remembers, and she rolls her eyes.

"She's been your concubine for a year," she says fondly, and then laughs lightly. "You've met her, but not much more. That might be the problem."

---

Xing Ju - she is careful, always, to remember that name, because to let a lie slip is to risk discovery - has found life in the Unclean Realm to be very unlike her expectations.

She expected the security, the well-guarded approaches to the family wing. As Nie Huaisang's concubine she was escorted past all of them and introduced to Niu Huiqing, whose easy smile and gentle warmth do not wholly disguise her iron will or sharp intelligence. Niu Huiqing is Nie Huaisang's wife and, it rapidly becomes clear, the absolute ruler of his extensive household.

Xing Ju does not meet Nie Huaisang himself for several days, and then their meeting is quite brief; Xing Ju is called to one of the common rooms, and Niu Huiqing introduces her to Nie Huaisang.

Nie Huaisang, it turns out, is a remarkably beautiful man of medium height, who greets Xing Ju with warm courtesy that is still, somehow, quite impersonal.

She does not feel as if he is uninterested in their meeting, or anxious for it to end, but he does not seek to prolong it when she makes to leave. It is... strange.

Weeks pass before Xing Ju even sees him again. She begins to relax in her new surroundings. Nie Huaisang's women are courteous enough (any disputes between them, as far as Xing Ju can tell, are arbitrated decisively by Niu Huiqing), and the children are engaging; several of them clamour for her attention. (Shen Zongying assures her, laughing, that the children are always fascinated by new arrivals.)

The next time Xing Ju sees Nie Huaisang, it is just after the completion of the evening meal. Xing Ju thinks he looks tired, a little bit, but he smiles when seven children rush to clamour for his attention; apparently he has been away. He has gifts for the children, and they bask in his affection until their bedtime, when several of their mothers come to draw them away. (Xing Ju is watching from the room across the corridor while pretending to read a book.)

"Hush, hush," he says, laughing, when the children protest. "I have no appointments tomorrow. I will come and spend the whole day with you, I promise!"

Once the children have been taken to bed, Yan Lanfen and Chang Meili linger in the room.

"If you're returning to the children tomorrow," Yan Lanfen asks, "does that mean you intend to rest, tonight?" Her tone is arch, inviting, and Nie Huaisang smiles.

"Eventually," he says. "I would not object to company, if there is one who wishes to provide it."

"One could be arranged," Chang Meili says, coy, "but we wondered if two might be preferable."

Nie Huaisang's smile widens. "It would at least be admirably efficient," he says.

They both leave with him.

---

Weeks pass, and Xing Ju begins to see the pattern of the lives of the strange family of Nie Huaisang.

When Nie Huaisang is in the Unclean Realm, he is... present, more or less. Sometimes the women take children to see their father or uncle during the day. More evenings than not, Nie Huaisang comes to the family wing, where his children always want his attention. Sometimes he reads to them from books; sometimes he paints with them, or sits as they bring trinkets to show him, or the products of their lessons, or talk to him excitedly about their childish enthusiasms.

Nie Huaisang smiles and listens and encourages, bestows praise and sweets and laughter. He is unlike any man Xing Ju has ever met - wholly unserious, always unarmed.

Xing Ju begins to marvel that the man lives - if he is even aware of how assiduously he is protected. He seems so careless of everything.

Each evening that he visits, one - or more - of the women approaches him once the children are taken off to bed. They leave with him, and don't return until very, very late, if they return at all before morning.

Xing Ju assumes that there is some sort of system of which she is not yet a part whereby these duties are assigned. She has not yet been told of it, and she has not fathomed a pattern in who accompanies Nie Huaisang to his rooms. Some women go often; others never go at all.

Eventually, no doubt, it will be Xing Ju's turn. Then she can complete her purpose here, and return to normal life.

She does not, at this time, care to examine why that thought is displeasing to her.

---

Months pass. Xing Ju finds herself occupied, by day, assisting in the children's schooling. It is... unfortunate, in some ways, because she is rapidly becoming fond of the children, and it will be distressing for them and for her when she has to leave.

Well. Xing Ju's absence will not be the most distressing thing for the children when she leaves. The thought preys on her conscience.

One evening, Nie Huaisang visits, and no women approach him once the children are put to bed.

Xing Ju wonders if someone made a mistake; thinks they must have, when Nie Huaisang calls to Niu Huiqing. She expects him to demand a companion for the night.

"Huiqing," she hears him say. "I have been thinking."

"Really?" Niu Huiqing replies in a teasing tone. "But you hate doing that."

Nie Huaisang laughs lightly. "For many subjects that is true. But this one is worthy of suffering through it. I have been considering the possibility that we might do well to marry at least some of the girls to other sects. The Wen, Jin, Lan and Jiang are tightly bound by marriage, and we are not, after all."

Niu Huiqing frowns. "Arranged marriages?" she asks, in a tone that suggests the idea doesn't please her, for some reason.

"Oh, no," Nie Huaisang says. "That's rather a risk, don't you think? They seem to do better now, but you remember what His Excellency and Madam Yu used to be like. Not everyone can be Sect Leader Jin and his wife. No, I was thinking that perhaps we might like to look at introducing them to suitable boys. Perhaps you could help them practice proper comportment for visiting other sects?"

Niu Huiqing smiles. "That sounds both sensible and thoughtful, Huaisang. My husband is such a loving, protective father."

'I don't know," Nie Huaisang replies. "A bad marriage might hardly be a diplomatic asset at all, anyway." His look is affectionate as he bows to her. "I would have my children be as happy in their marriages as I am in mine."

"With a less well-planted garden, I expect," Niu Huiqing says, and they both laugh.

"Perhaps that would be best," Nie Huaisang says. "Goodnight, Huiqing."

"Goodnight," Niu Huiqing says.

And then Nie Huaisang simply leaves.

Alone.

Hm.

---

Time continues to pass, and Xing Ju is becoming uncomfortably aware that she has achieved nothing of her objectives, here.

Some of the other women now clearly consider her a friend. Her disguise remains intact. Nie Huaisang's children love her, and despite her best efforts to resist it, she has developed an affection for them in return. She worries that their father is too gentle to keep them safe, but reassures herself that their uncle is strong and determined. The women, at least, are not as weak as she might have thought; if Xing Ju acted against the children, or against Nie Huaisang himself here where the women are around, there would be limited chances of success, and no possibility of escaping alive.

Xing Ju still needs to get into his bedchamber, and the expectation that she will be called there has proven false.

She forces herself to act. Living here in the way that she does, she is surprisingly content, but the sense of her incomplete task gnaws at her.

Her first course of action is to speak to Niu Huiqing, the absolute ruler of this cosy little realm.

"I was wondering," Xing Ju asks, with unfeigned awkwardness, "how it is... decided... who will accompany him to his chambers." Niu Huiqing must know; nothing, surely, can happen here without her knowledge, but Xing Ju has never seen Niu Huiqing herself leave with her husband at night.

Niu Huiqing smiles. "Whoever asks first, usually," she replies, quite cheerfully. "Generally it's not considered acceptable to go too often if someone else wants to. But if you get on well enough with one another, you can just go together."

Xing Ju blinks. "How does one ask?"

Niu Huiqing's smile fades, but she looks, if anything, concerned. "You don't - hm. Now that I think about it, you probably don't know him at all, do you? He's been quite busy since you arrived, and it was the other girls who brought you here, wasn't it? I'm sorry. That was remiss of us. I'll speak to him about it," she says.

That's apparently the end of the conversation, and Xing Ju is not really more informed than she was before.

But the next day, Nie Huaisang invites her to join him for tea.

---

"I can only apologise for the oversight," Nie Huaisang says. "I should have taken the time to get to know you before this. I hope in time I can win your forgiveness."

He smiles, and Xing Ju finds herself wishing that she could be here for a different purpose - or at least that he could be a little less pretty.

The conversation over tea is... pleasant. Disarmingly, dangerously pleasant. Xing Ju almost makes a mistake.

"I would have liked to make a greater study of art as a child," she confesses, "but my father -"

She freezes, because there is no safe way to finish that sentence. It is already dangerous to have admitted to study of the gentlemanly arts at all.

"My brother would have liked me to spend less time on it, also," he says. "Are you happy, here, with the family? Is your time well-occupied? A-Xiang adores you and cannot praise your story-telling highly enough, it seems, but are you satisfied with doing such things?"

Xing Ju smiles without meaning to, untensing. A-Xiang is five and delightful, and hangs on every word when Xing Ju reads to the children.

"I am. My time here has been the happiest of my life," Xing Ju says, and is shocked to realise that she means it.

"I'm glad," Nie Huaisang says, warmth in his voice and gaze, and Xing Ju realises then that she is in far more danger than she knew.

---

She convinces herself that it's not a critical problem, even though she has been more than a year here, and it is long past time for this mission to be completed. She hasn't had true opportunity, she tells herself, even as she takes tea with Huaisang, and walks with him, as he brings her gifts and smiles at her, as he kisses her gently in the moonlight.

A guard might hear any commotion, after all.

But then yet more weeks have slipped away and she has dined with him alone in his rooms, she is draped sideways across his lap, his silken tongue is in her mouth and his delicate, artist's hands are on her hips. She can feel his arousal against her thigh and she wants.

He is leisurely, unhurried, taking what she is desperate to give him but demanding nothing more, and she realises in that moment how catastrophically she has erred.

Firstly because she cannot complete her mission. It is not in her to kill this man, to destroy such perfect beauty.

Secondly because her presence here stems from so very much deception, and if this goes any further at all, he will discover that she, too, is achingly hard, and all of her pretense will shatter.

In the moment of realisation, she froze, and he has noticed. His hands still, his kiss gentles before he draws back from her.

"A-Ju," he says, his gaze painfully, viciously fond. "I hope you understand that I want nothing from you that you are not eager to give me." He strokes her cheek. "Breathe with me."

She leans against his shoulder, presses her face into his elegant neck, and breathes until her heart stops racing and standing up won't give all her secrets away.

Huaisang walks her back to her room and kisses her gently goodnight.

Xing Ju collapses on her bed and weeps.

---

Huaisang is troubled.

Xing Ju is charming, and engaging, and pleasing to his eye.

She also has a secret, he is sure of it, and he is increasingly sure he will not like it. They are becoming very close, he thinks, but the way she froze in the moment of rising passion is... concerning.

He needs more information.

He discusses his worries with Huiqing, who frowns and agrees there is reason for concern. Xing Ju will be safe at the Unclean Realm, of course, but men who commit abhorrent crimes rarely do so only once.

So Huaisang takes Huiqing with him on a visit to Lanling, just so she can have tea with Meng Shi, who knows everything that women whisper within a thousand li of Jinlintai. (Jin Guangyao will probably learn that Huiqing was asking about Xing Ju, but the risk that will lead to poor consequences is slim. This should not affect anything to do with the Jin, and Jin Guangyao will do nothing with the information if he has no reason to use it.)

Just in case, Huaisang takes gifts; a book on techniques of portraiture for Jin Kang, new brushes and paints of high quality for Xuanyu. The way to Jin Guangyao's regard is through demonstrations of respect and affection for his family.

Xuanyu glows with happiness at his gifts. The boy wears makeup, now, has done for some time, but something about it is different.

"How do I look today, Uncle?" the boy asks, eyes sparkling.

Huaisang examines him thoughtfully. "Very beautiful," he decides. "There is something different, isn't there?"

Xuanyu beams. "I did my makeup myself today!" he says proudly. "Usually my grandmother or Aunt Sisi do it, or at least fix any mistakes I have made before I go out."

Huaisang smiles. The boy is really very sweet. He must remember to ask Huiqing if it seems likely any of his sons will be inclined to the company of men. "It is lovely," he says. "It's so rare for boys your age to understand the importance of social presentation."

"I think I still don't open my fan very gracefully," Xuanyu says. "Could you show me again, please?"

Huaisang laughs, and snaps out his fan. Xuanyu sighs happily. "I want to do that like you do," he says, and Huaisang passes a pleasant while with the boy, carefully instructing him in the proper technique in Jin Guangyao's office while Jin Guangyao does paperwork with a small, pleased smile.

---

Huiqing reports that Meng Shi does not say she has heard of stories of exceptional behaviour that have not been addressed, of late, which is less conclusive than Huaisang would like, but really, on reflection, no more than he should have expected.

He cannot do anything more on the subject, for the moment - he is very busy again, because Qinghe will host this year's Discussion Conference, and he is rushed off his feet making preparations for it.

---

Xing Ju has not been alone with Huaisang since that wonderful, awful evening together, but she does not take it personally. He is very busy with preparations for a conference.. He barely has time to see even the children, and Niu Huiqing is also away from the family wing almost all day to assist him.

The children are slightly more fractious in the absence of their father and Niu Huiqing, and the family wing is louder than usual. Xing Ju isn't sleeping well, and by the sixth day, she is starting to get terrible headaches.

Yan Lanfen notices, and tells her, not unkindly, that she should take an afternoon and perhaps go for a walk somewhere quieter.

Xing Ju takes her walk to Xianfeng, where she can write and dispatch a letter to her clients, cancelling the contract and authorising the return of payment from escrow.

Whatever happens after this, she knows, she simply cannot kill Nie Huaisang.

---

Huaisang is mildly surprised when Jin Guangyao accompanies Sect Leader Jin to the Discussion Conference. More surprised still when he asks for a private meeting with Huaisang, Huiqing and da-ge.

Jin Guangyao's expression is serious.

"My mother mentioned that you were perhaps concerned about the inhabitants of a certain village," he says. "As the village is near the borders of Lanling, I took the liberty of pursuing inquiries of my own." A momentary pause. "Sect Leader Nie, I must ask that you allow me to conclude what I have to say before you decide to act upon it."

Da-ge frowns. "I will listen," he says warily.

A very faint smile. "Thank you, Sect Leader Nie." He takes a breath. "You have all been lied to. It was an expertly constructed deception. The family of Xing Ju does not exist. The neighbours who verified her tragic story do not exist. All of it was intended solely to persuade Nie Huaisang to bring her here as his concubine, as a means to bypass the excellent defences and security of the Unclean Realm."

Nie Huaisang's blood has turned to ice. He has never been more thankful for Madam Wen's brilliance, because da-ge is, now, even keeping his temper contained.

"I remind you of your promise to listen to the end, Sect Leader Nie," Jin Guangyao says. "Xing Ju is a disguised assassin, contracted to kill your brother by men who were displeased that certain of his wives left their control by his actions. Xing Ju has been known by several other names, but has in all previous instances, it seems, been perceived to be a man. The evidence suggests that the name Tan Fengge has been used most consistently." He says the last part with faintly awkward delicacy.

Huaisang feels sick. An assassin, near his children.

Da-ge growls. "What is the rest you have to say?"

Jin Guangyao draws a folded piece of paper from his sleeve. "My men intercepted a letter Xing Ju sent to her employers, in which she refuses to complete the contract and authorises the return of payment. We are tracing its intended recipient. For whatever reason, it seems that your brother's life is not, in fact, in danger. The evidence suggests that she does not intend to harm him."

---

Xing Ju sits in her cell in the dungeons of the Unclean Realm.

Niu Huiqing personally searched her for weapons and tools, stripping away several layers of her robes in the process, but she was neither rough nor cruel about it.

"What will happen to me?" Xing Ju asked her, as she was leaving.

Niu Huiqing looked at her for long moments, but said nothing, and walked away.

Xing Ju is getting cold, wearing only her innermost garments.

There are fresh clothes waiting.

They are suitable for a man.

Xing Ju stares at them.

She is getting very cold.

---

Huaisang enters the dungeons reluctantly. He's not sure if he feels like is heart is breaking or not.

Surely it shouldn't be, is the thing. Huaisang has genuinely lost track of the precise count of his concubines. Many women have come to the Unclean Realm, but some of them don't stay in the family wing - they disappear into the ranks of the Nie, or they do... other things. It's not his concern, he doesn't really pay attention.

Many of the ones who stay still don't really concern him. They are content with one another's company. Some of them also enjoy the company of a man, on occasion, and Huaisang is ever pleased to oblige.

In short, Huaisang has no shortage of women and an active sex life. He and Xing Ju have gone no further than kisses, and all the conversations they have shared turn out to have been based upon lies and deception.

It shouldn't hurt, he thinks, but it does.

Xing Ju is sitting on the narrow bed that is the only furniture in the cell, huddled into the nondescript robes Huiqing left there, looking... lost.

"Oh, A-Ju," he says, without thinking. They both flinch. Xing Ju stands and comes to the door, looks at him through the barred window.

"I'm sorry," she says. He says? Huaisang doesn't even know. How much of her was a lie?

"Why?" he asks, because that is what he needs to know. "You've been here for so long. You could have killed me a hundred times by now, Tan Fengge." Tan Fengge, the assassin. He has to keep reminding himself of that.

The assassin's gaze drops. "At first I couldn't have survived it. I never saw you alone."

"And then?" He can see tears on the assassin's cheeks. He aches with his need to reach out, to offer comfort. He doesn't move.

"And then I couldn't have done it. It would hurt the children. They love you so much. It would -" A hitched sob. "You are unlike any other man I have met, Nie-er-gongzi."

He recoils at the formality of the title, unseen.

The assassin continues. "You have been so kind, and so sweet, and you are so very beautiful. I can offer you no reason to believe me, I know, but it is the simple truth that I was - I was happy, with you. I wanted to be happy with you for as long as I could be, and I could never have brought myself to harm you."

"And what now?" Huaisang asks.

"I assume I am to be executed," the assassin replies. "Otherwise, I will accept my punishment. If I am ever released, I promise I will never return."

Huaisang sighs. Da-ge will be so upset with him.

"I thought you said you couldn't bring yourself to harm me," he says.

Tan Fengge looks up sharply. "What do you mean?"

Huaisang smiles, just a little bit. "I have many wives, you know. Huiqing is my first, and she is my first and dearest friend, and she will always be my dearest friend, but friendship is all our relationship will ever be. The others are... friends, acquaintances, but I do not hold their hearts, nor they mine." He steps closer, leans in, his face almost touching the bars. "Only once have I fallen in love. I would call it harm to steal my heart and take it away, pledging never to return."

"Huaisang, I -" Tan Fengge swallows. "Do you mean it?"

"Of course," he says. "I thought you liked me. Was I wrong?"

"You thought I was a woman who fled an abusive home."

"I thought you were you," he counters. "When we talked about art, were you lying?"

"No," Tan Fengge whispers.

"When you read to my children, was that a pretense?"

"Of course not, but -"

"If you could stay with me, with us, as yourself, would you want that?"

"Yes! But -"

"Hush," Huaisang says, and unlocks the door. Tan Fengge stares, wide-eyed. "Come home, then. Be with me."

"You know that I -" Tan Fengge gestures to his new clothes, and Huaisang rolls his eyes.

"I am honestly offended that you think I'd care," he says, and takes his hand to lead him out of the dungeons.

---

Da-ge glares and huffs and threatens to destroy Tan Fengge utterly if any member of the family comes to harm, or if Huaisang receives so much as a scratch to which he did not consent.

Huaisang cannot decide whether he wants to think about the implications of that phrasing, particularly with reference to da-ge's extremely aggressive close friends.

He spends the Discussion Conference with Huiqing on one arm and Fengge on the other, enjoying the way he knows people are whispering about that thoughtless fool, Nie Huaisang, who is keeping an assassin in his home, because he does so like people to think less of him.

Fengge spends every night in Huaisang's rooms, because no-one can quite decide whether it would be appropriate for him to return to the family wing (by night, at least, but if he had not returned by day, the children were on the verge of open revolt).

Huaisang thought he liked sex, before. He considered it highly enjoyable, pleasant and pleasurable.

He discovers he had no idea, because now he is in love, and it changes everything. The brush of Tan Fengge's fingers across his palm is more thrilling than the most ardent exertions of any two of his other wives combined, and with no more secrets between them, Tan Fengge is no longer hesitant in situations of passion.

Huaisang would be the happiest he has ever been, but there is one thing that impedes his happiness.

Tan Fengge is not happy.

He asks, because he has never been afraid to show ignorance.

Fengge bites his lip. "I don't -" He sighs. "I don't feel right, Huaisang. It feels... strange, unnatural, wrong to live as a man again."

Huaisang blinks, and then smiles. "So don't?"

His beloved stares at him. "What?"

Huaisang shrugs. "You lived for well over a year as a woman among women. I see no reason why you could not continue to do so, if that was preferable to you."

She gapes, just for a moment. "It can't be that simple, Huaisang."

He tilts his head. "Why not?"

She doesn't have an answer.

---

The children take it well; that Auntie Xing, who was briefly Uncle Tan, is now Auntie Xing again seems if anything to make more sense to them than that she was ever Uncle Tan at all. (One of Huaisang's daughters asks if she can be a boy sometimes, too; he says yes.)

A-Ju is his A-Ju again, but now she is wholly herself, and there are some differences. She now has opinions about the security of the Unclean Realm, to which da-ge listens with interest. (She also now spars with da-ge and his women friends occasionally, and they seem to have a wonderful time.) She also, now, tends to go about with a great deal of concealed weaponry when she accompanies Huaisang to places, and she and da-ge overrule his protests that such is unnecessary by pointing out that she may not be the only assassin sent to kill him.

Huiqing laughs at his objections. "You have at last chosen a flower to prize above all others in your garden," she tells him. "We may hope that the rose will bring you long life, but a rose is no rose without thorns."

The other women of his household don't seem to be too disappointed that he now spends most of his nights with A-Ju. Apparently they are broadly in agreement that it's all been very romantic. (A-Ju literally came here to kill him, he reminds them, when they talk about it in his presence; apparently that's what makes it so very romantic. Exposure to so many women really hasn't taught Huaisang entirely to understand them.)

Jin Guangyao keeps Huaisang updated on his efforts to keep an eye out for further plots to harm his person. Huaisang thinks, too, that he detects Jin Guangyao's hand in the swirling rumours that Huaisang's loyal concubine disguised herself as a man to lure out would-be assassins who threatened him, which quiet much of the speculation about what actually happened. To Huaisang's surprise, Jin Guangyao appears to approve wholeheartedly of A-Ju's inclusion in Huaisang's household; he appears to approve even more when A-Ju gives Xuanyu a set of two razor-edged steel fans and teaches him a few new ways to kill a man.

"A person can have the potential to do wicked things, but choose not to use it," Jin Guangyao tells Huaisang, smiling. "And no learning is truly wasted, I think. One rarely knows what the future will hold."

Huaisang looks at where straw is falling from the training dummy Xuanyu just eviscerated with graceful brutality. "I don't know," he says, fanning himself. "If you say so."

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