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Purple, purple everywhere. No matter where his gaze was turning, he couldn’t see anything else than purple. Which, fine, purple was an amazing colour, but blue was vastly superior, in his humble opinion. Be respectful and humble. Of course, that wasn’t the point, was it? He should start by wondering why he couldn’t see anything else than a colour, when he was sure than he had gone to sleep at nine, just like usual, in the Hanshi. Well. No point in panicking. He tried to retrace the day, hoping to get some clue.
He had woken up at five, as usual. Then, an hour meditating in the peacefulness of his room. He might not be in seclusion anymore, but he enjoyed the quietness, especially knowing his brother’s husband propension to be loud and disruptive. Well, not like that but Wei Wuxian truly was an example in contradiction of the Rules. And he was grateful to him, truly. It had taken time to put the events of the Guanyin Temple behind, and accept the truth of his character and his personal fault in the last fifteen years. And during his seclusion, Wei Wuxian had taken time to check on him, and not leaving him alone with his guilt and his self-deprecating thoughts. Wei Wuxian had proven to him that he still had things to find joy in, people that he loved dearly, and that it was not the end. Truly, Wei Wuxian had proven to him that all the rules in the world could not compensate for the truth and the righteousness of one’s heart. All four thousand rules, carved on the Wall, were suffocating. And he was still not over the pettiness of his uncle deciding that the newest rule would be to forbid to talk to Wei Wuxian. It was ridiculous. The whole Lan Sect was ridiculous. They were stuck in their ways, not accepting anything different than what they thought as righteous. And Lan Wangji had paid the price for it. He had paid the price for his love and his conviction in the goodness of his love. Somehow, he could still not believe the sheer idiocy of those two, and how long it had taken for them to confess. Right in front of him, of course. Because Wei Wuxian was shameless.
Then everything had been as usual, paperwork – he hated this, it was the bane of his existence, but he couldn’t bear to inflict to Lan Wangji. Ordinary meals, because they were civilised people, thank you very much Wei Wuxian, not everyone could stand your hellish level of spices, not everyone was a savage. Lessons, because apparently having Lan Xichen be a guest was an inspiration to the students or something like that. Oh right, and welcoming Jiang Wanyin and Jin Rulan into Cloud Recesses, because they were visiting family and needed help for some mysterious artefact or something, at this point Lan Xichen hadn’t been really listening – sue him, Jiang Wanyin and Jin Rulan liked to listen to themselves talk, and then yelled at Wei Wuxian to get him to stop talking. Pot, meet kettle. At least, Wei Wuxian didn’t yell and wasn’t in a general state of angriness that would almost be scary, if Lan Xichen wasn’t used to it after all these years of practise. He had spent a weary thought of grief for the peacefulness of Cloud Recesses disturbed by the visitors. And then… he had been pulled by Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to research things about said artefact, followed by Jiang Wanyin, which, fine, it’s not like they were Sect Leaders and busy, whatever. They went to the Library Pavilion, and then… hit the books. That had been fun, if Lan Xichen was to be honest. He was properly drowning in Sect business usually, and doing something different, with very clever people, it had an appeal. Wei Wuxian was a genius, after all. And Lan Wangji and Jiang Wanyin were sharp. It had been challenging, to keep up with them. After all, Lan Xichen was a bit rusty.
His last memory… yes, his last memory had been touching the artefact to try and determine the spiritual energy surrounding him, and Jiang Wanyin trying to stop him, only to end up touching the artefact as well. Which, okay. That probably wasn’t the smartest thing he had done, but cut him some slack, it had been a while. In between his seclusion, the betrayal of his best friend – and secret crush, okay, he could admit it now –, his many duties as Sect Leader, maintaining a social life, managing the Lan Elders… he didn’t have any spare time to go on night hunts or do research or do anything remotely fun. The most fun he had was having tea with Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, for the Heaven’s sake!
So, back to the situation. He couldn’t see anything other than the colour purple. It was a pretty colour, if he had to be honest. Very rich and warm. It was the perfect shade of purple Jiang Wanyin favoured. So his current situation was probably linked to the stupid artefact the visitors had brought. A curse, maybe? And if he was affected… probably Jiang Wanyin was affected too, since they had touched the stupid object together. Just his luck, then.
Suddenly, a change. He felt nauseous, like moving too fast while sick. Sounds reverberating in his ears. A tingling sensation in his hand. Voices. Many voices calling what seemed to be names, but it was like cotton in his ears. And most importantly, pain. So much pain. Like a constant wound reopening at every move. That was when he knew something strange had happened. Because he knew for a fact that he had never been hurt at his knees in order to have such intense and continuous pain. He opened his eyes, and gasped. How could he not, when faced with his face? But not like in front of a mirror, no, more like seeing himself from another’s perspective. Which… meant he was no longer in his own body, which explained the pain. He could see Wei Wuxian draped on his brother – as usual, those two had no shame, and Lan Xichen knew that his brother delighted in being able to touch his love so freely, but no need to feed him dog food – and Jin Rulan was there too. Which meant he was in Jiang Wanyin’s body. The pain was distracting, if he was being honest. No wonder the Sect Leader always looked on the verge of a rant if he had to live like that all the time.
“Jiang Wanyin…?” and hearing himself talk in another’s voice was strange.
His own face contracted in a scowl and he felt himself recoil internally, not used to seeing such an expression on his face. Even his brother didn’t express himself like that. He moved slightly his head, realising that the hair on his head was tightly held in a bun, pulling at his skin. He really didn’t understand why Jiang Wanyin would prefer this style, it was constructing and severe, while himself liked to let his hair flow in a respectable style similar to his brother’s. Jiang Wanyin was a very handsome man, but his style made him severe and he appeared inapproachable. And this bun was so tight, it had to be headache-inducing. Why would the Sect Leader choose that?
“Oh, that is so weird…” he heard Wei Wuxian murmuring. “So… Obviously… you’re not in your own bodies, right? I mean, I’ve never seen Xichen-ge pull such a face, and Jiang Cheng looks way too calm. So… you… exchanged bodies? When you touched the artefact?”
“It appears so, Wuxian. It felt as being in another plane, only seeing a color, and then opening my eyes and… well… seeing my body.” He volunteered, eyes not leaving his own face.
“Yeah, same here.” Grumbled Jiang Wanyin in his voice.
“Great, cool cool, amazing, so… I think you should get some rest, and we’ll continue studying this little toy here, and see if we can get you back in your own bodies, right?”
“Mn.” Was Lan Wangji’s short answer, his eyes expressing his worry for Lan Xichen, one hand covering Wei Wuxian’s waist, as if afraid the genius would run away. Always so protective and full of love, his brother. The First Jade sent a smile to his didi, before getting up, concealing a grimace at the pain shooting up. He sent a glance at Jiang Wanyin and indicated to follow him.
They left the Library in silence, contemplating this unexpected situation. Now that the rush of the discovery was leaving, Lan Xichen found himself in a perplexing state. He was himself, with his thoughts and feelings, but at the same time, he felt the physical reminders of Jiang Wanyin’s body, and feelings that did not belong to him. He could feel anger and longing when thinking of Wei Wuxian, pride and worry for Jin Rulan… it was maddening. It was a case of mind and soul, contemplated the First Jade. A quite confusing one. Jiang Wanyin was a ball of emotions concealed by anger, a contraction in himself. It made sense when considering the rumours concerning the late Madam Yu and the state of the Jiang family. Madam Yu had been a proud woman, fierce and certain of her abilities. But she had also been angry, her marriage and her family threatened by rumours of infidelity, of Wei Wuxian being her husband’s bastard, of her being responsible for the sorry state of her family. Always angry, always lashing out. It was no wonder that Jiang Wanyin had copied the mechanisms he had witnessed to conceal his own emotions and thoughts. It was quite sad. And it was quite terrible to compare oneself to Wei Wuxian and to be found lacking. But Lan Xichen had used his time in seclusion to reflect on his own faults, and he was working on correcting and accepting himself as he was. And Wei Wuxian himself was not without fault, ultimately, they were all human, with qualities and bad traits. All of them.
They reached the Hanshi, and Lan Xichen found himself preparing tea, and offering a cup to his silent companion. He himself was fond of white tea, but prepared today some Pu-erh tea, knowing by way of Wei Wuxian that it was a favourite of Jiang Wanyin. Then he sat and served the tea gracefully.
“How long have you been hurting?” he found himself asking.
There was no need to play the fool, they both knew what ailed the other, the truth of their hearts and the heavy weight of their souls.
“Ever since Lotus Pier was burned. I… I was captured by the Wens, and Wen Chao enjoyed playing.” Spat the fierce man. “Nobody has been able to stop the pain. So I stopped looking for a miracle and focused on more important things.”
“Have you tried our Cold Spring? It is known to have healing abilities, maybe it could relieve you a bit…” offered Lan Xichen.
His companion offered a grunt, but no other word. That was fine. Lan Xichen didn’t know how to talk to the angry Jiang Sect Leader. Sure, he was recognised for his diplomatic abilities, but they didn’t mean much in this situation. How could one talk when they were privy to very intimate feelings? It was a mortifying ordeal to being known. Especially without a choice. Jiang Wanyin didn’t choose to share his thoughts and feelings with Lan Xichen, and the same was true for him. Yes, it helped understanding the other better, but what right did he have to use this knowledge? What could he do?
“I… understand that you did not want others knowing what you feel. I promise to not utter a word of what I perceive. And… I… would ask the same courtesy of you, Jiang Wanyin. But… if I may… Wei Wuxian misses you. He misses Lotus Pier. He is content with his life now, but… it will never be the same as being with your family, being part of your family.”
“Yeah, he misses me so much he never comes! I… I hate that it has come to that, and I don’t know how to fix it, or if it should even be fixed!” exploded Jiang Wanyin.
“It is a very complex situation, and you have a deep history. From my own experience, you cannot go back to how you were before, because that denies the events that happened, and the growth you’ve had. War changed all of us, Jiang Wanyin. We were just boys, and we had to face great horror. From what I understand of you, you’ve been at war since so long, it’s hard for you to let go of the mindspace. I understand. I fooled myself in believing in a false peace, blinding myself to great injustices. I refused to see the truth. And Wei Wuxian… he’s been at war with himself for long. He’s just now learning peace. He’s just learning how to be, simply. He is content, yes, but he still doesn’t think he deserves good things. He doesn’t think he deserves to be your brother again. He denies himself because he still carries the pain of what happened. I think… I think you two need to talk. Calmly. Without you defaulting to anger, and without him deflecting and absorbing the blame and the pain just to see you happy. Because it’s what he wants, to see you happy.”
A silence followed his words. It was a lot to absorb, a lot to process. And he himself didn’t know if he had made things better or worse. But it was the truth. They both deserved honest words.
“… I’ll think about it. Thank you, Sect Leader Lan.”
Lan Xichen inclined his head, but didn’t talk again. They both sat in companiable silence, savouring the tea. After finishing, the First Jade offered his guest room to his companion, and retreated to his room, enjoying the calm. He still was unsure of himself, doubting his words and his mind, after having to re-evaluate his set of values, his actions and his feelings after the ordeal of the Guanyin Temple. But he also held hope for the future.
When morning came, he followed his routine, offering hospitality to his guest, waiting on news from the research team. It was midday when Wei Wuxian came to announce happily that they cracked the mystery of the artefact and knew how to reverse the curse. Jiang Wanyin and himself followed his excitable brother-in-law to the Library where the others waited. Wei Wuxian tried to explain, but as usual, his explanations were very technical and incomprehensible to the ones not privy to his powerful mind. Lan Xichen indulged in a smile, shared by Lan Wangji. Totally smitten. In the end, it appeared that they simply needed to touch again the artefact at the same time to recover their own bodies. Lan Xichan shared a heavy look with Jiang Wanyin, then extended his hand and touched the glowing artefact with his companion.
This time, he knew what to expect. Colours again. But instead of just one, this time there were two. The bright purple he remembered, but also a powerful blue, blue like the evening sky. They probably represented the two of them. So he willed himself to move towards the blue, willed himself to reunite with his body. And when he opened his eyes, a small sigh escaped him. He was free from the constant physical pain and the emotional turmoil that was Jiang Wanyin’s soul. He turned and smiled to his family to indicate that all went well.
“Think about what we discussed, Jiang Wanyin. You are of course always welcome at Cloud Recesses.”
“… And you at Lotus Pier.” Grumbled the other Sect Leader.
Lan Xichen took a moment to absorb the love and care displayed by their family, the inherent chaos following Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji – whoever said that his brother was a model of behaviour hadn’t known him as a child or as a lovesick fool – and the grumpiness covering the care of Jin Rulan. Yes, he didn’t know what the future held, but he had hope. As long as his family was with him, he was very optimistic. All those brilliant people, they were going to change the world for the better, he was very sure of it. And he would try to participate, and enjoy his family.