Chapter Text
Oh, the power to be strong
And the wisdom to be wise
All these things will come to you in time
On this journey that you're making
There'll be answers that you'll seek
And it's you who'll climb the mountain
It's you who'll reach the peak
Though there's no one there to guide you
No one to take your hand
But with faith and understanding
You will journey from boy to man
Akira Kurusu was God’s daughter and heir. The result of ancient beauty and otherworldly presence. She, who owns the stars and galaxies so far from mankind’s mind, was everything divine compromised into one human body.
Although that should count as an insult; she was more than just human. She was everything this world could ever hope to create. Intelligence, sovereignty, elegance, nobility.
And he, Masayoshi Shido, was chosen to have her. To call her his own. No one’s, only his. Gifted by her father and creator for him, himself, only him, his chosen, to protect her, to make sure to get rid of all sins and rottenness to give it to her as a proof of her divinity.
Akira Kurusu was a man’s dream come true. Of course she was. There was no denying.
But the sight of her first smile by his side only proved that to him all over again. He could feel his heart jump, scream out, his desire taking on a new form, a beast wishing to show its master its capabilities. Masayoshi Shido could feel his instincts taking over, his desire never being greater than it was now.
No one ever awakened something like this inside him. All consuming, world devouring, life changing. Not Yukino, not any woman, no whore, no one.
In this moment, her lying before him, eyes closed, her naked skin flushed and her hair spreading around her head like a black, consuming halo into a world he has yet to create, she had never looked more gorgeous. There was still a smile on her lips, her pink lips showing a gentleness that made him weep, still present ever since they had left the hotel and returned home.
His cock was hard against his belly, sweat dripping down his temples. Leaning over her, his hands caging her head - no, he couldn’t cage her, not her, he revered her, his hands by her ears, he was protecting her from every scum of this earth that would try to steal her away from him - he kissed her forehead, tasting her sweat, inhaling her scent. “Akira?,” he whispered.
His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when she raised her arms, wrapped them around his neck and pulled him closer to her. Burying his nose into her neck, he could feel her pulse.
It was even. It was calm. Nothing unfazed her.
A mumble. No coherent words.
“When was the last time I told you how beautiful you are?”
He felt her fingers on his back. She moved them, at first quick, then slow, quicker again, her right hand as quick as riding a galloping horse. Mumbling again, her eyes closed, she started to hum.
A melody he didn’t know. He didn’t need to find out which one it was; letting his own hand wander down to her cunt, moaning as soon as he could feel his finger slip. Soaking wet, his desire took over. “Oh, my love,” he spoke, making sure to whisper directly into her ear. She should hear him, listen to how much he desires her, feel how much she did to him. “ My Akira.”
My , his, my his, my , his, only his, only mine , he was Masayoshi Shido and Akira Kurusu, divinity made flesh, power in a human body, his dreams fused within in person-
He didn’t even need to do anything. His clock glided right into her pussy, hearing his own voice moan, cursing under his breath. She was warm, tight, pulling him, enticing him in ways that he had never believed to feel in his fifty three years of life. His soul singing, praising his god, gratitude spilling over his lips, his heart passing his deepest desires on to his tongue-
Opening his eyes, Masayoshi was pulled in by her silver moonlight, the tides calling for him and no one else, pulling and pushing him-
a voice calling for him, asking him to lose himself in the vast depth of the sea-
she was holding his life in her hands-
her pupils, blown wide, her iris thin, light diminishing-
tears running down her cheeks.
Masayoshi didn’t believe he had ever come that hard in her than in this moment. He clenched his teeth, following his call and bared them at her, he was her chosen and he would protect her, no matter what happens, because she was his and only his, God has given her to him, everything would go to rot if she wasn’t there, her hair only a faint reminder of the dark sky above him, her face a sculpture made of marble, her skin clear and pure as snowher lips red, so red, kissable and perfect, she was everything-
he will never let anyone touch her, because he was chosen, God has given her into his hands, to protect her, to make sure that no impure human would taint her-
He kissed her. Sucked every breath she had in her lungs to feel something in his. She was his, his, hishishishishishishishishishishishishishis-
faintly, from afar, he heard someone laugh.
???
“Oh, my sweet, sweet daughter-”
Akira was floating in a dark abyss. It was warm; so warm, something unfamiliar, reaching out, kind hands, grasping her shoulders and pulling her into a warm embrace. Formerly, a sound has dominated her ears, something that sounded like pur.
A blue color, dancing in front of her inner eye, had brought calm. A weight against the one pulling her down; lifting her up. She could still feel the unfamiliar sensation on her lips; but it felt right.
“Did you believe I would allow others to form you?”
A hand on her shoulder. Akira opened her eyes; instead of blue, red greeted her - red, so red, blood, so much blood, fire, a dark sunset where she could see how long her shadow was in comparison to her own, much smaller figure-
“We made a deal, remember? Love hurts so much, don’t you think so?”
A woman stared at her across the abyss; long, black hair, dark eyes, a long scar running down the left side of her face, cutting through her smile. She whispered: “Oh, my sweet girl-”
“You have lost your path; that’s alright. I will show you which direction to go.”
The woman disappeared. Akira was left alone; only that red color remained. Sunset appearing like an inferno burning on the horizon. She could see it in the petals of a flower, delicate, a circle, something endless-
“Oh yes, endless. Just like you are. My daughter - not yet. You will have to wait.”
Something entered her. Something broke her apart.
Her smile vanished. The sensation fleeing, running for its own life, trying to reach a destination it would never be able to find.
Something was inside her; something hard, unrelenting Breakinh, destroyoing, ending. Pulling her down to this earth, locking her into this dark abyss .
The fleeting sensation, Love’s sorrow , granting her wings to take flight, but instead of white, they grew gray, darker until the only color facing her was black. Sunset has turned into darkness. No moon in sight.
Nightlight. A butterfly, still so visible despite mirroring the shade that was all around her, passed her ear.
“My sweetest girl.” Hands that reached for hers.
Red eyes, red like blood, pierced her heart and destroyed her-
“Take your time, reach perfection. I will wait for you.”
“My dear, have you finally chosen to come around.”
Agnés held the young woman close to her heart, her head lying between her breasts. Combing through her hair, her fingers drawing patterns down her back. Flowers, waves, mountains, kanji, her own name.
The queen chuckled, pressing a kiss on the young lady’s head. “Are you tongue tied, my dear? You don’t have to be. The captain is very eager to fulfill every wish you have. You can tell me.”
The woman, the young goddess in white, waited, paused. She shook her head, her curls tickling Agnés neck. “Are you sure, my dear? It is a notable feat to have come out of your shell. You have been hiding in this dark room for so long. The people want to see you.”
Another shaking of her head. Agnés signed. “Alright then, my sweet. We will find a way to make sure that you will look at those people as the peasants they are.” Her fingers, long and sleek, covered by black satin, caressed the dark curls of the girl, tucking those strands behind her ears. “They revere you, my dear. A goddess walking among them - my husband wishes to make you happy, my love.”
A wince. “Oh, ma pivoine . If every woman in this world would ever come close to your beauty, you could be a rival to me.”
Agnés couldn’t hold back the giggle, watching how the Goddess in White lifted her head from the spot between her breasts, spotting the look of sheer terror on her delicate features. So much fear, such deeply rooted horror that she could witness it in every thread of her face.
“There is nothing to be afraid of.” Lifting up her chin, a delicate fine piece of art like everything else about her, with her index finger, the smile she put on her lips spoke a message that could be nothing else but clear. “I will watch over you, my sweet. Every little step you take in this palace will be watched by me. Nobody can escape me.” She winked - a movement so natural that it felt like taking a breath. “Do you understand?”
Her opposite nodded, moving her head so frantically. Although, when putting a hand on the back of her head, she didn’t resist at all while Agnés brought her back to the spot between her breasts, caging her between those things that made her a woman, making sure the goddess knew her scent. “Stand with strength. Sit with grace. Walk with elegance. That’s the only thing you have to remember.” A kiss on her forehead. “Take this and keep it close to your heart.”
Lifting her up, their lips only separated by a centimeter, a piece of paper was pressed between their breasts. The ship started to rumble, change occurring and Agnés, the queen’s unearthly, demonic smile was just another sign of impending doom.
“Alright?”
The cruise of pride started to change.
The door leading to the representative chamber was graced with five lion heads. Formerly, these five were the ones you had to get past in order to enter the assembly hall.
The rumble that took over the ship, making the guests panicked and Agnés lean her head into her nack, purring, changed the door. Now, all these lion heads were put into a five pointed star. In the middle?
The head of a snake. Black, its eyes golden jewels, its mouth open, fangs ready to destroy anyone’s hand who dared to touch them without offering a sacrifice.
Those lifeless eyes, these golden orbs, watching everyone who dared to get too close. Protecting its master, listening to its mistress, only letting those pass that were of their majesties’ decree.
Friday, 6th May
“Love?”
The sun was piercing into her eyes, trying to find its way through her lids into her pupils. Despite the warmth of the blanket on her naked skin, the only thing Akira felt was the chilling cold. If she didn’t know it was May, her first idea would have been to guess it was December.
Before allowing her eyesight to take in the usual picture of a white ceiling, a hand cupped her cheek. A kiss on her forehead, fingers that carded through her locks. “Akira?”
Dread filled her heart. The little parts of her soul that had been lit up yesterday were gone. Her fingers weren’t warm, her heart wasn’t humming a tune she knew, it was still so far away. Was it a grand piano she played on? Or a normal one? Perhaps even an electrical one? Why couldn’t she remember?
It was gone - the memory was gone. The sensational feeling, the idea of playing the piano again, to let her fingers dance across the keys in order to bring back the memory of a woman with a scar on her face, has left her. It was simply gone, leaving her alone to lie in this bed and feeling how a rough hand and chapped fingertips touched her skin.
“Masayoshi?”
She could still feel it; his cock inside of her, his semen spreading inside her womb, trying to find a goal. But they wouldn’t be able to. She did take her pill, like every evening before she went to bed. She just had to keep remembering it or else-
She opened her eyes. Met a face that was both drenched in something soft and yet, his features were drawn into a tight grimace. Such a strange picture, a bizarre expression she could never interpret no matter how hard she tried. Her hands, grasping on the blanket covering her naked skin, trembled all of a sudden.
He noticed. That was something new.
“Are you cold?” Putting his own on hers, his hands so much larger and his fingers so much longer, she felt so much colder. “It is still early.”
“Are…are you alright?” Her voice was meek, small, a whisper. She pulled the heavy fabric up to her shoulders, pulling her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees. Closing her eyes, she buried her cheek into her pillow, laying on her right side. The sun was getting closer to touch her, instead illuminating the man sitting by her bedside.
If he wasn’t moving, the early light would make his skin glow, his skin appear much younger than it already appeared. Sometimes, Akira wondered how old people regarded him. If they were able to tell that he was already at the beginning of his fifties, having already lived for half a century.
Maybe Yukino could tell her something about him.
“Masayoshi?”
Looking at her, she was surprised he didn’t immediately respond to her. Until now, she had learned her partner to be a man who was quite fond of the cadence of his own voice. In her head, she wondered if it could be taken as criticism, though she didn’t believe it would sound like that.
“For how long have you known Yukino?”
The effect it had on him came immediately. Akira had already expected something like this, taken from the way he had looked and acted her. But given the fact that they were childhood friends, high school sweethearts, best friends for at least over ten years, it seemed so…strange. So unusual. Shouldn’t people who share such a deep connection with each other treat each other with respect and something resembling kindness?
A scoff. “I knew that she managed to talk nonsense into you. She always had that kind of talent.”
Weren’t they each other’s first loves? Why was he speaking so negatively about her?
“Yukino always had the great aptitude to talk more than she can give. You should forget whatever she said, Akira. It’s not important.”
“Oh…” Clutching the blanket to her chest, not even thinking of granting him a look at the body he had seen naked for months now, she sat up, feeling how her hair fell down her back. “But…I don’t think she wanted to harm me in any way. She was nice.”
“Oh, yes. She is always nice.” Standing up, rounding the bed to reach for the huge closet that housed his clothing, he showed her his naked back. Only now did she realize that there were dark lines on his strong back, some of them even a dark red. As if something scratched him… “Talking your ear off and then wondering when the people are getting tired of her.”
“Are they?”
“Akira. My love.” He returned to her, the sight of dark red lines on pale skin haunting her mind, returning to the spot he had previously occupied. “Forget about her. She is not worth wasting any kind of thought on her.”
She didn’t understand. She should, but she couldn’t.
Akira sat there, looking at her lap. Yesterday, she had felt as if she was finally able to speak, to articulate herself. The smile on her lips was ambrosia, trickling down her throat, giving her a taste of something immortal. Now, the only taste that was left was ashen, the sensation on her skin resembling the gray of her eyes.
“She mentioned your mother.”
Sitting upright, she couldn’t help herself but making her as small as possible, repeating the same process she did under the blanket. The way his dark gaze rested on her, the strength he gave off, her knowledge about his range of power, made her feel many different things at once.
She knew he wouldn't harm her. This knowledge was deeply rooted inside her heart.
But he would hurt other people. Was she aware of that? No - she wasn’t.
Akira Kurusu had absolutely no idea of how many people Masayoshi Shido was capable of hurting if he desired so.
“Why did you never mention her?”
“Akira.”
His voice reminded her of a judge’s hammer.
“I will tell you one thing and I want you to keep remembering it. Alright?” He grasped her hand, pulling them away from her chest. The blanket fell down to her lap, revealing her breast to the cold air and his keen eyes. His pupils widened, nanometer by nanometer, but after seconds of silence, he looked back at her. She could see the desire in his eyes and something even darker. A desire she wouldn’t be able to name, no matter how much research she took.
“It’s correct, my mother is still alive.” He let her hands go, taking her face into his palms instead, leaning so far forward that her hands wouldn’t be able to fit between their chest. “But she is dead to me.”
Dead to him. How is that possible?
“Let’s not talk about this again. Alright?”
She nodded - what else was there to do?
He sealed her agreement with a kiss and another union. His cock inside her was not as big as last night and the way he groaned her name, the praises on his tongue fading into each other, his warmth encompassing her, trying to chase away the cold and goosebumps on her skin, but not succeeding. She was cold; so, so cold, forced to live in a winter’s tale until all eternity.
The only thing that kept her sane in this moment was the sun’s friendly hand, encompassing them in light and its own radiance. The shadows reaching for the wall were long and dark. Akira, trying to reach something that wasn’t there yet, having her eyes closed, didn’t look at them.
But, unknown to her, they were looking at her, watching them with scornful gazes.
The plan was set: finding out about the Phantom Thieves of Hearts with the aid of his student council president, catching them right in the act, exposing them to the world.
Kobayakwa didn’t know what kind of flaw existed in his plan. The moment he got it right, he would be back in business and would get the reputation his school deserved.
He didn’t need Kurusu, didn’t need that stupid girl who accused him of lying when the things he did were necessary for this school to survive! Kamoshida was the right one for this school, but it wasn’t the right time for him to come.
Things like these happened. There was always some sort of collateral damage; what could he do? Kobayakawa had to look forward and make sure that the people knew what kind of achievements his great school had already managed to bring forward. Earning Mister Shido’s trust and support was vital, the very core of his life.
A knock echoed through the room. “Excuse me, principal.”
And just the girl he wanted to see entered. “Nijima,” he spoke, watching her walk into his office. With every second passing, his thoughts trying to race, finding things he could use to his advantage.
“You wished to see me?”
Why didn’t these kids know proper manners anymore? It was worthy to pull his hair out of his head if he still had any!
“Straight to the chase, I see! You see, Nijima, that was always one of the things the students have always admired about you.”
He could work with that. Nijima wasn’t a student who would ever try to fool him. She wouldn’t stand opposite from him, pulling off her glasses and showing him a look that could make anyone stop in their tracks for seconds to come. She was a good student, honest to a default, and the idea of her trying to sabotage his work and school was laughable.
Kobayakawa understood why-
No, he mustn’t think that! Akira Kurusu was just a nuisance, he would be very well to just ignore her and do things his own way, he didn’t understand what Mister Shido saw in her-
“Oh, thank you, principal. That honors me.”
Good, that’s perfect. She would listen to him, she would obey his commands. He knew what he had to say in order to get her on his side.
“Were you present the day Mister Kamoshida has locked himself with Mi- Kurusu, Nijima?”
“I was, sir.” The frown on her face irritated him; she had to listen, not question him! “I helped Saitou and the other members of the student council to bring the students to safety and make sure they get home safely.”
“I see. Just what I expected from you!” Feed her those scraps, he thought, then it would be so much easier. “Then you’ve seen that his personality has suddenly changed. Not only did he try to commit such an act of violence in broad daylight, he also changed his behavior not even after an hour. Something is definitely wrong here!”
“I’m not sure I follow….”
This stupid, incompetent, why did he have to make sure- “From what I’ve heard, it appears as though some students were meddling in his business. If they did something to him…Who could they be?”
Not only that; he had to take care of these students, he had to get Nijima to act and if that madwoman Sakamoto was coming into this school once more and demanded another apology for that failure of a son of hers, he was sure to just expel them at first sight, no matter what happened.
The questioning look on her face made his blood boil, why did he even bother with an incompetent idiot? Did he have to spell out everything for her, why didn’t she get it, wasn’t she the sister of the great Nijima, why should he even believe it was a good idea- “Even if it takes some probing into student matters, I would like you to look into this for me.”
“Are you talking about that strange calling card that was posted around school? About those ‘Phantom Thieves of Hearts’?”
And wasn’t that the bane of his existence; whoever they were, he had to get rid of them. Present them-
“Mister Kamoshida has changed, that is undeniable. I want to find out the reason or anything that is even remotely close to this. This also ensures that I handle the police and mass media in the correct fashion.”
And him. If he had the information and he was called again to answer any given question, then-
A thought came to his mind. One that would be, without even a spark of his knowledge, his death sentence.
“Besides, another thing I need you to do.” He folded his hands on his desk, feeling his finger trying to grasp even harder. “I would like you to get to know Kurusu a little bit better.”
“Kurusu?”
“I have made sure she entered the student council since I believed it would be the right thing to do, you see, given her grades and the reaction of students ever since she has arrived here in this school.”
“She is an exceptional help to us.”
Why should she, there is nothing that Kurusu could do right except waltzing into his office and acting like she knew what she was talking about-
“I have believed her to be an exceptional student, you see. The letters of her previous principal have described her as a one of a kind student, universities are already sending me letters for all kinds of scholarships.”
“I-I see…but, may I ask, principal, why are you telling me this?”
He tried to smile; Kobayakawa did his best, but he tried to put more gentleness into it. “Nijima, been in contact with her, am I correct?”
“Yes, I did. I welcomed her back on her first day of school after her absence.”
Of course she was, but then standing here and accusing him of being a liar when he only did the things he had to do- “Good. You see, Nijima, the reason I’m asking you to get to know her is simple: I have the feeling there is something off about her.”
She blinked. Of course she wouldn’t understand.
“Don’t you believe it is strange that Mister Kamoshida has locked himself in with Kurusu, even though she’s been here for just a week?”
“Well, yes, but-”
“Imagine my situation, Nijima, I am sure you can. I am sitting here as a principal of a prestigious school. A new student enters this school and barely a week later, one of our gym teachers takes her and locks himself up with her in his office. Don’t you think there is something off about that?”
“...what are you implying, principal?”
Just the same with Saitou, why couldn’t they catch up on anything, why did he have to spell out anything, that’s why the new generation was hopeless- “Perhaps there is a reason it was Kurusu of everyone.”
The shock, the missing comprehension he would have expected from someone her spreading on her face made him curse inwardly. Of course, the great intellect was only given to one sister. “Sir, he assaulted her! Yozora tried to get in between, he threatened to kill her!”
“Of course, of course.” He had to backpedal - why did this never work out in his favor. “And that is a thing that needs to be punished. Though don’t you think it is interesting that it was her of all people?”
“Sir-”
“I want you to get to know her. Starting today. If there is a reason to believe that she perhaps provoked him-”
And the hammer fell down, the death sentence was spoken.
“Provoked him?! Sir-”
“It is a possibility, Nijima.”
“But- how could she have provoked him? She was going to this school, you asked Yozora to keep an eye out on her, I looked after her like you asked me to and she never, ever did anything that could be considered provoking!”
“I suppose I have expected too much from you, Nijima. I am sure your sister would have understood my thoughts and theories.”
He lifted his hands, hiding his mouth behind them. Oh, he wanted to smile, he wanted to smirk, of course this worked. Why didn't he think of this earlier?
“My…sister?”
“She is a prosecutor in the public prosecutor’s office, correct?”
“Y-yes, she is- still that doesn’t explain how you can believe that Kurusu is responsible for being locked up by Mister Kamoshida-”
“I'm certain she wouldn't have ruled out the possibility of such a thing occuring. Isn't that one of the things the police have to do?” He sighed. “I originally wanted to show you my consideration for your hard work as a letter of recommendation, you see. But, since I see that your loyalty to this school is apparently nothing but a fraud-”
“I- My loyalties are for this school, principal!”
Just a little bit closer, then he had her right where he wanted her to be.
“Did you say something, Nijima? If not, then I am certain that this conversation is over.”
“Kurusu-”
One more step.
“Well, it seems you lack the sense of duty your sister has. I can imagine she will be quite disappointed. I’ve always believed that this school can be proud to have you as our student council president. But…”
Come on, take it, take the bait-
“I…I can ask her.”
“Oh? Is that so?” He looked at her, smiled, laughed inside his heart. “How wise of you, Nijima. I would like to ask you to begin, at once. Every three days, I would like to hear about the things you managed to inquire - is that understood?”
“I…yes, principal, of course.” She bowed, quickly, not as long as he would have wanted, but it was a start. As long as she didn’t bow out of pity like the last time a girl- “If you’ll excuse me then.”
Turning around on her heels, she left the office. Kobayakawa let out a breath of relief; at least that was taken care of. He couldn’t wait for lunch, already beginning to drool at the idea of having something delicious to eat. Thinking about the choices he had, the feeling of irritation easily returned when there was another knock echoing through his office.
“Come in.”
He folded his hands on the desk; the door opened and before he could even realize what happened, he looked at the grinning face of Yozora Saitou. Another student he had once considered to be another jewel the studentship brought forth, a student supported by the one man he believed in and just like Akira Kurusu, she had become a nuisance.
Kobayakawa tried to smile. “Ah, Saitou. Please, come in.” Ever since Kamoshida’s incident, she avoided him. Once so obedient to listen to him, that had changed. “What can I do for you?”
“Excuse me for dropping in like this, principal, but there was something I’ve wanted to ask you.” Her hair bound to a tight ponytail, falling over her right shoulder, having her hands folded behind her back, he wondered if this the apology he deserved was coming now. He had asked her normal questions, of course there was the chance of relations existing between her and Kamoshida and if it was something that would have made the coach of the volleyball team happy, then-
“Exactly how stupid are you?”
S-stupidity? “What did you just say?”
She laughed; she honestly to god laughed. An ugly laugh, a cackle, quiet, staying right between them. “I think you’ve heard me just right.”
“How dare you speak to me like that! I am your principal, you have no right to talk to me like that! Who do you believe you are to tell me-”
“Principal. Don’t you get it?” The nerve of that girl, nothing but a little girl who believed she had power, she had no idea what she was dealing with- “If you want to value your life, you should make sure to tell Makoto to not interrogate Kurusu like that.”
A skip inside his chest. Reminding himself once more: she was nothing but a show-off and know-it-all, she was just a child, acting like she knew how adults took care of their own affairs. She couldn’t know - she wouldn’t know it. “Why do you believe-”
“Oh please, principal. You always claim to know your students so well, thinking to use them to your own advantage. And yet, you start to doubt your new star student, well aware of who her guardian is…”
“I won’t take this impertinence!” How could she believe that she had the right to speak like that? Where did she take that arrogance to believe she had any idea what she was talking about? He did it for the sake of the school and such a little girl thought she had any kind of imagination of what to do? “This will have consequences, Saitou, harsh consequences! What do you believe you’ve just did?!”
And to his utter shock, she didn’t cower, she didn’t fear for her grades or letters of recommendations, nothing. She was nothing like Nijima, she wasn’t set on anything like the student council president. But there was one thing he needed to get out. “I will have a written reprimand for your arrogance and whatever you believe you’re doing!”
“A written reprimand? Fine by me. Do what you must do. I know what will happen with you when you won’t take back your order for Makoto.”
“Don’t even dare to act like you know what will happen! I act on one’s behalf-”
“You still don’t get it, do you?”
The stone cold tone of her voice made him halt.
“You don’t get it at all. Wow. I knew you were a lost cause, principal, but I never thought that it would be this bad.”
“Get out of my office! This is the last time you will ever set foot in here again!”
“Oh dear, what a shame. And I’ve loved being here all the time you thought I could have helped you with your bullshit. But, for good old times sake, there was something I still wanted to tell you.”
And in the blink of an eye, she moved like a shadow, a dark silhouette, stepping up to his desk and leaning forward, her hand grasping his fly with a heavy grip; the worst thing of all was the feeling of fear spreading through his veins. Why was he afraid of her, why should he, there was nothing to worry about-
He ignored the other feeling his chest, his stomach tumbling, looking at her long lashes, her dark blue eyes, a thing many admired about her, the way her shoulders looked confident in her uniform, if Kamoshida had any intention with her, Kobayakawa did get it-
She was faceless, she bore many faces at once and there was no chance for him to fight-
“If you think it is a good idea to accuse a student of having relations with her teacher when she was maybe the first of his victims, then try to check the expression of ‘good idea’ in a dictionary.” She winked, she laughed, she was mad, she needed to get into a mental clinic, she had to be locked up in a closed facility, she was dangerous, she was Yozora Saitou and- “Maybe there is one hidden in your fat ass!”
She grinned, evil and malicious, pushing him down on his chair, turning around on her heels and leaving his office.
The cackle still echoed through his head.
“Can you repeat that, Mishima?”
“I…I’ve wanted to thank Akechi for taking care of Kamoshida. Is there a chance of me meeting him?”
“Uh…”
Ann’s entire idea of Mishima was set in stone, originally. Now, she realized what kind of mistake that was. Before all of this thing with Kamoshida started, she didn’t talk to him much. She knew that he was shy, timid, didn’t talk much to others. He was passive, not talking to her like he listened to the rumors circling her, but also didn’t make any attempt to get to know her. He has played volleyball ever since the first day of high school, coming from a different middle school than Shiho, Ryuji, Yozora and she went to.
All in all, Mishima was a gray person. Not belonging anywhere, just existing among her and her classmates.
He was one of the most obvious cases of abuse. Kamoshida humiliated him, never hesitating to do it in front of the entire school, and Ann was just another one of them watching him do it. He stood on the sidelines, watching her and she did the same vice versa.
She couldn’t blame him for not meddling in Kamoshida’s tyranny. She couldn’t laugh at him when he confessed his feelings to Yozora. He was scarred, just like they all were, perhaps even more than many, her included, first realized.
Seeing him with a face freed of bruises was a new sight, a welcome one. He didn’t limp as much as before, the walk of hesitant confidence surprising her, especially when he approached her in the middle of lunch break.
The only thing irritating her about this all was him inserting himself between her and Kurusu, hands in his pocket and letting her chance to talk to Kurusu slip away. Standing in front of her, showing her a hesitant kind of smile instead made her raise an eyebrow.
“I’m not sure how you believe I can help you with that.”
“You called each other by your first names! You know him, right?”
Now she got why Goro told her she’d shut up sometimes. Now, it’d definitely be a big help.
“Yeah, that’s true, but still!” Shit, she had to use some kind of excuse. Of course she could just tell Goro about that, but with the current situation, Shido not having called him in weeks, dancing on a thin line, she could already imagine what was going to happen and she didn’t want to throw Mishima in front of a Goro who wouldn’t hold himself back in case times called for it. “I’m not sure-”
And then, all of a sudden, he leaned forward, right in front of her, getting too close for comfort, a gleam in his eyes, whispering: “You are a part of the Phantom Thieves, right?”
Instant panic settled into her.
What if he gave them away? What if they got caught? They still had their main goal and she didn’t even know what his palace was. What if she had to run away now for good, what if Mishima blew their cover and Goro would have to-
He seemed to recognize that look inside her eyes and with some kind of reflection of herself, he took a step back. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise!”
Did he say the truth?
“Have you heard about the Phantom Aficionado Website?”
Still being stunned into stupor, she shook her head. “Nope, never heard of it.”
There was some look of disappointment on his face, but it quickly changed, him taking out his phone and shoving it right into her face, making her lean her head back. That guy really had no idea about personal space, did he? “Check this out.”
With her head held back, she looked at it. A red website, multiple comments put in black. And they all spoke about the same thing.
Well done, Phantom Thieves.
Thank you for giving us hope…
Ann forced a big lump down her throat.
Reading these things…looking at the students around her, free of Kamoshida’s reign of terror…made her feel strange.
“Why are you showing me this?,” she asked, feeling despite it all a smile spreading on her lips. Trying to suppress it, but watching Mishima reflect her mimicry now, she didn’t stop.
“I’m the one who created it!”
“Oh…wow.” Did she know that Mishima knew how to create websites? Nope, not at all. She had only seen the bruises and not the face behind it. “Then…”
“Listen.” Blushing now, he scratched the back of his head. “I’ve wanted to apologize to you, Takamaki. Back then, when Suzui jumped…I didn’t do anything to help her or you. I just stood there and watched how you got in there and scared Kamoshida.”
“Oh…”
Could she hold it against him?
“I don’t blame you, Mishima.” And she meant it; a part of her, still there, although lying really deep, still wanted to blame him, put him into the same pot as all the others, but she wouldn’t. Not now. “You didn’t have any other choice. You were so deep in Kamoshida’s abuse… Besides, it’s over now, right?”
Kamoshida was in prison, Shiho woke up from her coma. What else was there?
“Still. I’ve done some really horrible things to you guys. And to Akechi, as well. So…do you think I can meet him?” He quickly lifted his hands. “I want to apologize to him, too.”
Apologize? For what?
The blush was still as red as before, probably got even worse.
“Listen.” She hid her hands beneath her desk, feeling how Mona nuzzled her finger. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea to meet him right now.” How could she say that without messing up his image? “He’s pretty busy, you know…”
“Oh…do you think there is any chance to meet him?” A shutting of his mouth, then another opening. “I want to help you guys; you helped me, you helped so many students around here. I don’t know how you did it, but I want to contribute something to your cause. Whatever you’re trying to do, you’re my heroes!”
Heroes. That was a weird sound.
“So, please! Please, try to help me!”
She-
Mona stayed quiet. He couldn’t speak right now without giving himself away. Wondering what exactly he thought about this whole things, the word hero echoing through her head like a constant drill, Ann exhaled. Harshly. “Okay, I'll try to talk to him. But I can’t promise anything,” she added quickly after watching his face lighting up. “Don’t get your hopes up, I don’t know what he’ll say.”
“Thank you, Takamaki!”
Too little personal space,too little-
But what could she say? He was smiling now. That had to count as a win, right?
Right?
Ryuji once followed the unspoken rule of looking away when seeing some suffering. He wanted to change that; he was a member of the Phantom Thieves now, there was no chance for him to keep doing that. Those adults that forced themselves on those who couldn’t do anything but take it had to meet him first.
Those kinds of thoughts swirled through his head while watching Kurusu standing in the parlour in front of the vending machine. She was alone.
Lunch break was nearly over, he probably had only five minutes left. He was surprised that no one was with her. Despite seemingly having much on her own platter, he expected Yozora to escort her around ever since she came back from her sickness.
Scratching the back of his head, he took a deep breath. Approached her. “Hey, Kurusu.”
Looking up, shrieking, she turned around, her black hair moving with her, her huge eyes looking so much bigger behind her glasses. Now that he thought of it, she didn’t wear them yesterday. “Oh, Sakamoto.” She exhaled, standing up straight, folding her hands in front of her lap. “I didn’t see you, my apologies.”
“Ya doing alright?”
“Oh?”
To be honest, seeing her smile did something to him. He couldn’t deny that, not at all. Not only was it the complete opposite of her usual expression, but there was something about her that seemed…unusual about itself that he couldn’t find the words for it. Not that he had the vocabulary for it, either.
“I’m…fine, Sakamoto, thank you for asking.” Her fingers moved and suddenly, he could see them drowned in black, buried in Mona’s fur, stark contrasts to each other. “What about you? Are you…doing okay?”
“Eh. Exam’s coming up.” He didn’t need to think about that right now; he had other stuff on his mind. “Can I ask ya something, Kurusu?”
Blinking. She was blinking so fast, if he was some kind of weird poet, he could say that they were moving as quick as the wings of a butterfly. But since he wasn’t one, he didn’t think of it.
Though he kept staring at her.
“Yes?” The smile was gone from her lips, not even anything seemingly left from her face. She looked like she always did - and the worst thing, Ryuji knew the reason. “Can I help you?”
The questions were overlapping, there was so much to ask her. Pretty sure that she would avoid the majority of them easily, tripping over her own feet while running away.
What was she doing here?
Why that old geezer Shido?
What happened yesterday?
Who was she really?
Why did Kamoshida lock himself in with her, of all people?
Why-
“Why are you wearing glasses at school?”
She blinked again, the same work of her eyelashes, tilting her head. “My…my glasses?”
Actually, he wanted to ask her about Shido. But he wasn’t that stupid to not remember the last time he did that.
“Yeah. Why ya wearing them? You didn’t wear them yesterday.” And he didn’t believe that thing about contacts. Not at all. Watching her fidget, reaching upwards to take them into her hands, the few strands that escaped her hair grazed her cheeks.
Well, the image of her in Kamoshida’s palace hasn’t completely vanished from his mind. Hey, he had to be honest too.
“Can I ask you to keep a secret, Sakamoto?”
The spit disappeared from his throat. “Uh, sure.” And suddenly, talking has become so much more difficult now, every syllable trying to manage its way out of him tripping.
She looked at them, these huge glasses for those huge eyes, and when she looked up, he was faced with a silver color that nearly knocked him straight out of his sneakers. Another gulp. Damn, she did have pretty eyes.
“They are not real, I only wear them for cosmetic reasons.”
“Huh? Why should ya?”
“My partner thought it would be better for me to wear them; to keep a low profile. Although I do not think that worked well.”
Well, he wasn’t present, but whatever happened between Kamoshida and Kurusu, he wasn’t sure what happened. Spending many nights at home, listening to the faint sound of cars outside of his windows, wondering when his mom would be home that night, not finding any sleep, getting to these thoughts you only had at 2 a.m in the morning, he had tried to find a solution to this deal. Kurusu was considered queen in Kamoshida’s cognition, so-
“Are you alright?” His head started to hurt, he wouldn't keep thinking. “I’ve only heard what happened between you and Kamoshida.”
“Mister Kamoshida.”
A tremble took over her hands. It came quickly, as quick as phantom pain could pass and catch up to him in mere seconds, turning his leg into a trembling bitch.
The same kind of tremble that overtook him whenever he remembered Yozora’s lips on his own.
“He…saw me as something I am not. I am not here because I want to take some…’crown’ from him.”
Crown? The golden medal, the crown, his treasure, the core of his palace?
“He told me that I won’t be queen, that he would remain king… I don’t want to be any of this.” She looked up, those big eyes of hers so round and large, telling him everything and nothing at all, bringing him into a loop of emotions when a pair of ocean jewels stared at him after making him believe that all his dreams of his middle school life could come true. Of course they didn’t- “Do you believe me, Sakamoto?”
She had one hand curled on her chest. Kurusu continued to look at him and time was running thin between his hands and god knows why exactly he told her the following words when he hadn’t spoken it out in front of Ann or anyone else, only his mom solely due to his heart ripped open and bleeding, believing it would never heal again.
“I do.”
A sigh of relief. Features that relaxed. No smile, but a look of calmness. Some people with their fancy words would say serene. He wanted to look like her too. But he couldn’t.
“Can I tell ya a secret? Like, exchanging stuff?”
She tilted her head, her glasses still in her hands.
“I love someone.”
He said it. He actually said it. He had never believed to have done it.
“She was hurt; hurt in so many ways that I'll probably never be able to really help her, ya know?
Her lips on his, her cold gaze, the way she sat on that stool, making herself so small, how she grabbed his collar and told him how she was aware of so many things going wrong at this school.
He was tumbling. Kurusu kept looking at him.
“She won’t let me. Doesn’t matter what I say or try, she’ll stay like this for the rest of her life. She’ll never be okay again.”
“Is it Saitou?”
At first, it was fear. Then, it was something bitter. The thoughts and sentiments of being ridiculous, thinking he had a chance with someone like her, returned at full force. He chuckled. “Yeah.”
“I see.” No, she didn’t, because she had no idea what it was like- “I didn’t know.”
“I don’t think anybody does. It’s just…all I can do is just sit on the side and watch her. She won’t ever feel the same way I do. I…”
There was something burning in his eyes.
“Sorry for that.”
“No.” Her voice was soft, so soft and all of a sudden, he really just wanted to cry. It hurt and felt so good at the same time, speaking it out loud; his mom was too busy to really understand him and Kurusu- “Do not apologize. It’s…not right to feel something like this.” She looked at her shoes.
Not right?
“What do ya mean?”
“I don’t understand why Mister Kamoshida believed I would take his crown. I don’t understand why someone clings to me and claims me as someone special when I’m not. I don’t understand unrequited love. Sometimes…” Looking up at him, he took a step back. The intensity, the very brightness dimmed in her eyes made him forget to breathe. “I was told that love hurts. But why does it have to?”
The bell rang. Lunch break was over.
“Kurusu?”
A deer in headlights. Quickly putting on her glasses, she looked at him again, her eyes suddenly so much smaller. That Shido guy was right; putting on those glasses let her seem smaller. Ryuji wondered if she decided to walk around without them if there were even more problems coming for her.
“Love hurts,” she repeated under her breath, folding her hands, passing him. “Love hurts.”
He only stared after her.
“I’ve heard that the case from Shujin has been taken from you.”
“It seems they have thought that it would be better if they leave it to someone else.”
A questioning hum lay in Sae’s voice. “It is still quite unusual. It doesn’t happen often. Did you find out anything useful from those students?”
“Well, the case in and of itself is unusual.” Goro looked over her shoulder. “A gym teacher is suddenly locking himself in with a student, threatening to commit murder and all of a sudden, confesses all his crimes.”
“Can a person’s mental change so suddenly?”
“How come it is so interesting to you?”
Goro knew Sae Nijima. He knew she was a workaholic; it was expected for her to set eyes on this case and he was well aware that it’d be idiotic to act like it wouldn’t happen. But so quickly?
“Don’t you believe it’s similar to the psychotic breakdowns?”
Of course.
“The traffic department is currently being questioned, the incumbent cabinet ministers are asked to resign. A man is driving an entire subway into the crowd, doing something unexpected. A gym teacher who sexually abused his students suddenly tries to kill one in open daylight, only to apologize not even an hour later.” She looked at him, the look on her face openly challenging him and there were times, he truly felt wariness of Sae Nijima. Not often; but sometimes. “The last time we spoke about this, you insisted on someone being behind the scenes, pulling all those strings. Do you still believe that?”
What would happen if he gave her his answer?
“Thse Phantom Thieves of Hearts declared to take his desires, isn’t that right?” He remembered the words as well as if it was yesterday where they had sat together in Ann’s living room, putting together this message that would change his entire life. “It was their goal to make him confess his sins, right? That seems to be something different than the psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns.”
“Are you suggesting that there are different groups acting on this?”
“Perhaps. It is a possibility, isn’t it? Two completely different outcomes; why should, whoever is responsible for this, they change their mind so suddenly? The first two are destructive methods, causing as much harm as possible.”
Loki roared in his mind.
“The whole incident with the gym teacher instead was only destructive for himself, the only one mentioned in that card. There is no collateral damage. So, yes, I do believe that they are different groups working there.”
He respected her.
“I wonder…”
But this stubbornness of her would kill him, some day.
He piqued his ears.
“How much damage will they inflict? And who is the person making profit out of it?”
His phone started to ring. And, Io and behold, the one person she mentioned without naming him, called him.
Goro recognized it. Colors faded around him, drenching in a deep darkness, the only thing existing was the number of digits on his phone.
It was Shido’s number; he would recognize it anywhere.
A skip inside his chest; his gloves clammy, his heart skyrocketing, his temperature dropping by five degrees.
Shido was calling. Now, after seventeen days; he couldn’t remember any time when that happened.
What did he want? What should he do? Pick up, of course, but why was he so afraid, why, it was a good sign, it was something he wanted to happen, so why did he call now of all times-
“Excuse me for a moment.”
Standing up, rushing out of her office as if the devil was after him (and wasn’t that true), Goro quickly found a spot in an abandoned broom closet he hoped nobody would use in the next few minutes.
Swiping to the right had never felt so exhausting, so threatening, ready to reach deep inside his throat and trying to suffocate him by simply squeezing.
“Hello?”
“Akechi.”
His name was Akechi, like Chiyo Akechi, the one woman he doomed, his mother-
His voice, that one voice who haunted him in his dreams-
His very own reason for all his nightmares-
“Sir.”
“You will be given one last chance.”
Straight to the chase. Of course. Why should he even waste his time on him?
His own son, his flesh and blood, the one who inherited these god damn eyes-
“Akira told me she contacted you. You should be grateful that she seemed to confirm whatever nonsense story you were telling me.”
Of course, her again, this girl, the traitor-
“I have a new target for you.”
A new target; he needed to make it right, he had to take this chance-
“I want you to cause a mental shutdown for a woman.”
Mental shutdown?
He had to cause a mental shutdown. There was another method without shedding blood. The one thing he wanted to cause-
But he couldn’t steal her heart; he would fail again. Goro hadn’t murdered in nearly three weeks.
He had to spill blood again, all for him.
He had to-
“Yukino Kyoya.”
Yukino Kyoya. Yukino Kyoya. Yukino Kyoya.
A woman this time. A woman he had to kill. This time, there was no chance of escape.
“You have until tomorrow to take care of this, 6 p.m. You know what happens if you fail.”
The call ended.
Only silence responded to him.
This was it.
He was still in the game. Shido did not discard him yet; and he had to thank Kurusu for that.
How could he-
He hated her, he hated her, why her, why her-
Where was the audience to laugh? When was the clown finally coming out of the corner, telling him that he finally won the greatest prize of all?
He was still in, Shido wouldn’t kill him, not yet, he still had a chance-
But he had Kurusu to thank for that-
Why did that matter? The fear, the sleepless nights, they could stop now! He could still do it, he could continue to be Shido’s hitman, he could avenge his mother-
But Kurusu was the reason for that.
And? This was his chance to prove to Shido what he was worth? It was never about doing the right thing - it was always about him, himself and his own desire.
But Kurusu made it possible.
Why did he care? Did it matter? It didn’t matter what Kurusu did or that woman who managed to get Shido on her bad side. Why should he care?
If it wasn’t for Kurusu-
He would be dead by now - he placed his bet on her and she actually managed to do it.
Kurusu saved him.
He had one job to do. He had to cause a mental shutdown. Simple as that, how many times has he done that already?
Kurusu-
Goro could feel vomit climb up his throat. He wanted to throw up - he needed to throw up.
Tumbling out of the closet, he quickly ran for the next bathroom, shutting down the door to the toilet and with one push up his stomach into his throat, he could feel all his insides fall into this pissy water, oh, his organs were saying goodbye now too, wasn’t that fitting-
Because of her, he survived, he is still alive because of her, because she managed to get his hint, she lied to Shido, she actually managed to lie to Shido, wasn’t this perfect, the perfect partner and his father’s little lady managed to lie, breaking one of the ten commandments, he had to tell her that this was nothing to base a relationship on, but how could he know, he knew nothing about relationships, everyone who knew him hated him, left him, that was okay, he had to fight for his mother-
he had to cause another mental shutdown to prove himself, that was the deal, he knew what he was getting himself into, it was the only chance to keep going, he had to-
because of Akira Kurusu, he had to cause another mental shutdown, because she lied to Shido, why couldn’t she have kept her mouth, why did he have to continue this, why, why, why-
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you-
But wasn’t she happy now, smiling around while acting nothing is wrong, of course you can keep smiling you stupid bitch, lying to your partner and saving the person who will be responsible for his downfall, it’s your fault I’m like this, it’s your fault for causing me this pain, why are you here-
I loathe you, I despise, why are you alive, why won’t you disappear, why can’t you leave me alone, why do you have the things I want-
He wanted to break this smile of hers, why was she happy, did she enjoy being that monster’s armcandy, did she enjoy being lavished in luxury and easiness, did she want to keep sucking his dick-
I hate you, why you, why you, why do you haunt me so-
He had to cause another mental shutdown, he had to kill someone in order to prove himself-
IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyouIhateyou
WHY DO YOU EXIST, WHY DID YOU DO IT, WHY DID YOU DESTROY MY WORLD, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ALONE-
I’M SCARED, ANYONE, HE HAD TO DO IT AGAIN, HE HAD TO, WHY HIM, WHY HIM, WHY COULDN’T ANYONE ELSE SUFFER FOR HIM-
His phone rang again.
Ann’s name was written across the display.
He shut it down.
Standing up, flushing down the remnants of his stomach down the drain, splashing water on his face, he returned to Sae.
“Akechi?” There was a raised eyebrow, slowly edging closer to skepticism. “Are you alright?”
“Just a quick call. An emergency. My apologies, I have to go now.”
“And what exactly-”
Taking the handle into his hand, Goro turned his head over his shoulder, looking at her. He wouldn’t hesitate now, he wouldn’t, he had to do it-
“Excuse me.”
He left.
The good news: Yukino Kyoya did not have a palace; that made things easy.
The bad news: she was a target in Mementos.
And oh, how Goro hated that place.
Using the app had never felt so revolting. Three sensations fought inside his soul; three personas calling out for him, all their powers battling his instincts to take over.
Goro took a deep breath when he took the first step into this distorted mess. The gray trenchcoat clung to his sweaty skin, glued to his torso and every step he had to take forward, he could feel his legs tremble.
Loki’s scornful whispers were so much louder than Robin’s attempt to bring a calm into the storm. Clopin, instead, stayed silent.
He had to do this. The sword inside his hand was heavy, the gun inside his belt even heavier. They were dragging him down.
How pathetic was he? He had done it for so long, he had killed and murdered and even laughed when they begged for his mercy-
He had looked at their faces, enjoyed this high of power whenever he crushed one of them. It was so easy, this was the thing he was born to do, this was the one thing he could do to avenge-
This is what you were born to, baby cakes? To be simply an errand boy and so many people until you could create a whole palace out of corpses? That is your destination in life?
He walked forward. He passed the entrance. He had to find her - Yukino Kyoya.
Goro didn’t check who she was, what she was doing or whatever happened to make her a foe of Shido. He didn’t need to know.
This is getting pathetic, you know that?
Shaking his head, he walked forward. His instinct guided him. The shadows, crawling and running around headlessly, stepped out of his way. They ran from his sight; he could smell something bad in the air around him.
Death. Decay.
Kurusu’s breath in Kamoshida’s palace-
No. He couldn’t think about her now. He had to keep walking forward. Keep going, keep doing the thing he had been doing for two years.
Was she another Wakaba Isshiki? Another woman who would leave a child behind?
Wouldn’t that be too good?
Create another fate like his own? Killing one’s mother?
We’re finally getting somewhere.
Shut up. He didn’t want to hear that.
To the left. A portal was opened, another hole in Mementos. He knew what his personas were saying - he could feel it. Every syllable drove right through his veins, turning his blood to lava. Wishing to make the ground beneath his feet lava, he continued forward.
He stepped forward. Entered this unknown room.
And faced a woman.
He had seen them; proper and great people who showed their real faces in Mementos. Politicians and businesspeople, scientists and artists, teachers and murderers, fathers and mothers, daughters and sons, all of them showing a mask to the public. Trapped and imprisoned by expectations from the outside, this place was the only opportunity to show their real selves.
Their cries of mercy alone was the truest sign of their honesty. They tried to bribe him, to save themselves, doing anything in order to make them spare their life.
Their problem was big, the conflict for him was easy: he had his goal in mind, the one thing he worked towards; and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to accomplish it.
A breeze touched his neck; his mask was imprinted on his skin, his sword stable in his hand. He walked forward, his step echoing through this part of Mementos that housed the woman in front of him.
She opened her mouth, her voicing echoing through space with a distraught cadence. “So, he really did send someone.”
Goro stopped.
The woman - older than he expected, probably in the beginning of her fifties, long black hair falling down chest, a red sweater tucked into a black skirt that reached below her knees - looked at him with her golden eyes. A shadow’s eyes, he knew, but has he ever seen an expression like that inside of Mementos? The wrinkles around her mouth spoke laughter, her crows feet told him a tale of happy times.
She shook her head, her hair falling around her. “I expected this to happen. But not this fast.”
This woman knew something he didn’t and if there was something Goro didn’t like, it was this. Looking at her, trying to think about the people she could possibly be talking about, pondering whether he should just draw his gun and finish his job directly, her voice cut through space once more.
“You were sent by Masayoshi, right?”
He froze. His arm held in one strike.
“I’m right.” She scratched the back of her head, messing up her hair even further. “Masayoshi Shido, you rotten bastard. I should have known from the start.”
This never happened before. In what world did a shadow of a person manage to recognize him? In what world was she aware why he was here and how did she even realize that she was sent by the one man she called by his first name, having only met one person who did just that?
“Listen here, Mister Hitman. Let’s make a deal.”
The response was quick, immediate. “I’m not here for deals.” He had made one deal and that was the only thing keeping him alive, he knew the outcome if he tried anything.
But the hope lingered, quickly crushed by an unforgiving fist in his chest, but it continued to grow past the cracks.
“Oh, I’m well aware that you’ll kill me. There is no getting out for me. I know Masayoshi well enough that he won’t tolerate any mistakes.”
He lifted his gun, pulled the trigger. The gun flew, grazed her cheek. A line of black tainted her skin - but golden eyes stayed the same. There was a smile on her lips.
“If you kill me, go ahead. I’ve done everything I believed I could do.”
Shadows, pleading for mercy, begging for their lives to be spared. Human beings, lacking knowledge about the things they have done, their own desires too great for any comprehension.
Hell, even Wakaba Isshiki, a scientist and genius in her own field of expertise, had pleaded for him to spare her. Spatting something about a daughter-
But this one? Yukino Kyoya?
“Who are you.”
“That’s the question I like to hear.” A smile, arms crossed in front of her chest, legs crossed. “So, how about this deal? No clue who you are, but you work for Masayoshi.” A wave of her hand. “Whoever you are, let me tell you some things about him. Grant me this time, at least. I know you have to get rid of me - I’ve overstepped a line.” A laugh; pure, real, showing off the lines around her mouth. “So, what do you say?”
Goro lowered his shoulder. And did - like so many mistakes over the course of the year - another mistake. He was curious. He wanted to know.
He couldn’t kill her, not again, not more blood, there was another method, what would Ann say, why did Kurusu force him to do this-
“Go ahead.”
She smiled. “Let me tell you a story.”
He had aimed his gun at her, the barrel constantly at her head. But Yukino Kyoya didn’t seem fazed by it. There was a smile on her lips and to his utter continuing wrath, there seemed to be pity lying in every little line around her eyes. The more she told him, the longer she continued, he could feel his arm grow heavy, his hand growing sweatier and his heartbeat shooting up.
She felt pity for him.
Imagine a story about a young girl, only six years old, moving into a small town close to Kyoto. Meeting a boy named Masayoshi Shido, an only child like her with no siblings, it was as natural as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west for them to become friends. They were friends, as close as children could be and until their high school years, they stayed the same.
Entering high school, things had changed. Their friendship turned to dependance, admiration, and need sold as love. The girl, now ten years older, sixteen, living with a grandfather whose love for her turned from familiar to something else entirely, projecting all of his failures on her and punishing her for it, scarring her soul for all eternity and a mother who only sat on the side, watching the attempts with passive eyes - found solace in her best friend’s home. His parents greeting her like the daughter they never had and before one of them truly realized what happened, they became a couple. Instead of time, they shared their hearts, bodies and souls, something innocent developing between them like it can only be created between first loves.
She admired him, always did, but now, his talents showed. Student council president in his first year, replacing the third year student who got taken from school because of his parents financial struggles. He led the students, debated his teachers in open daylight and aced every single exam that was presented to him. It was debated whether he were to skip a class, obviously showing that he has a talent.
He was hungry for knowledge, seeking more answers from even more questions. He wasn’t satisfied when he didn’t understand things, becoming even aggressive when teachers and authority figures weren’t able to satiate his desire to know. His classmates respected him, they supported him, but she was his only friend.
She loved him. They walked home every day, her waiting by the entrance of the school until his after school activities were over. Spending more time at his place, the house down the street she had visited ever since she was a child in first grade, than her own made tensions difficult. Curses, insults, accusations coming from her grandfather at him, never being met with forgiveness even when he died in her second year due to a heart attack.
From this point forth, their years at high school were filled with bliss and when both of them decided to study psychology in Kyoto, their future seemed to be set.
“He changed,” Yukino Kyoya said, her face becoming more pitiable by the second and his desire to smash it into pieces was growing, growing, growing so great- “We studied, we lived our lives, we lived together. I thought that no matter what happened, Masayoshi would be the man I would marry. Well, he had other goals. His desire for knowledge became great, his hunger for power even more and before I truly realized it, he wasn’t the boy I’ve grown to love. He harassed the other students when they didn’t abide by his will, people avoided me because they knew I was his and when things didn’t go the way he wanted them to go, he did everything possible to change that. He manipulated them, made them dance according to himself and promised them the world in exchange for one thing: to believe in him.
“I broke up the relationship with him; I was simply there to feed the instincts, nothing more. I couldn’t take it anymore, watching him become some sort of caricature of a power-hungry fool. But I was wrong; power became his one true love and over the years, I have thought he would learn his lesson. He studied two more subjects, he travelled across Japan and I only realized my mistake when I saw him on TV, trying to give a speech about changing the world. Changing the world wasn’t meant to be the right thing; he wanted to make the world his very own, something to possess. Nothing more.”
She looked up. Her golden eyes were staring at him; golden, golden, she wasn’t human, she was a shadow-
“What about you?”
She looked at him in a playful questioning. “What do you want to know?”
“What happened to you?”
“It was easy. I got married after university; I’ve known my husband for one and a half years when he asked me. I’ve given birth to three boys, all of them in the age where they don’t need their mother anymore.”
Didn’t need their mother anymore?
“I’ve done the best I can. It was my fault; I believed to appeal to his good side. In the end, Masayoshi Shido was both my salvation as a child and my doom as an adult. Won’t you look at that.”
Goro’s world turned upside down.
“I have truly believed that I could do something, help this girl…but it seems all it got me was a clear death sentence.”
He had to do it. She had a husband and sons. He couldn’t-
Of course you have to, a voice called out in his head and the worst thing? It was his own. Younger, he recognized it. Him, two years ago, still fifteen years old and taking money drenched in blood and tears. You have no other choice. Is that suddenly a reason? Spare her because she has a family? When did that stop you?
It was true, he never cared before, he just did it because it was expected of him-
Correct, it is expected of you. If you’re chickening out now, if you’re going and turn your back, you won’t continue. If you fail to get rid of her, you will be dead. Or even worse. Shido will make sure to make you disappear from the face of the earth if you won’t do your goddamn job now!
There was another method, he could-
You can’t!! Why do you expect to suddenly earn redemption because you managed to change one heart? What about those whose lives you destroyed? You can’t back down; you can’t! What about the people I killed? The lives we’ve erased? Since when do we care about others?! Why should I care what others feel?! What about Mom?! We killed her, we are the reason she died and you want to spare some bitch because she told you a sobbing story about the motherfucker we swore to get rid of?!
But-
No, once and for all! You betrayed your humanity, you betrayed your ideals, you betrayed the world! Do not betray yourself for nothing! Not for this bitch! Not for anyone! What do we owe the world?! What has the world done to us?! Why should we care what happens to her or her children?! They can die and rot in hell, to hell with that!
Goro stood still.
Do you think she loved her sons unconditionally?! Do you believe she was a real mother?! Why couldn’t Mom love us?! What should these boys have the one thing we never had?!
He flexed his index finger.
Kill her! She slept with that scumbag, she was his, she is foul, rotten, she is sick, she has the disease, get rid of her, do it, do it, do it, that’s what you were born to do, nothing else-
He pulled the trigger. Aimed at her head.
Veni, vedi, vici. He came, saw and won.
The bullet drove through her skull. The smile scattered into a million pieces, drowning in black, disappearing and thinning into air.
The pity remained on her face until the very end. No parting word.
Another target gone, another mental shutdown happening, more sons losing their mother.
When Goro lifted his hand, he noticed Loki’s helmet sitting snuggly on his head.
With his gun in hand, he turned. Laughter ran inside this little corner of Tokyo, haunting his mind forever.
“Suzui? I’m coming in now.”
“Of course.”
To speak was still difficult. To form thoughts at all was a great hurdle. Was this how the princess of Sleeping Beauty felt when waking up? There wasn’t a prince kissing her back to life, but Shiho preferred to have Ann next to her waking up anyway.
Shiho didn’t notice how the nurse, who was so strangely familiar to her, was walking around the room. She didn’t watch what she was doing. These things that were bound to everyday business were far from her mind.
She remembered darkness, a dark place, a pit filled with beasts. They were calling out to her, trying to reach for her feet when she was slowly descending. Twirling around her was a little butterfly in her memory, but she couldn’t say which kind of color.
Voices had always reached out to her. Calling something; sometimes, they were speaking normally, other times there were sobs echoing through the abyss of her heart. Those were the moments - moments, could she even say moments where time was flowing so freely as if nothing ever fazed her - she had felt her heart sink.
The feeling of regret lingered. That voice that praised her decision-
But that voice had spoken the truth; Ann was there when waking up. The only thing flooding Shiho was gratitude, the regret had passed.
Nothing of that mattered, she realized. For all this time, ever since waking up and looking into the beautiful eyes of her sister, a tranquility has taken over Shiho’s heart that she had never felt before in her life. Not one thing came even close to that.
It slowly crawled back to her when looking at the orchid on her nightstand. There wasn’t much for her; her favorite plush toys, picture frames and that beautiful orchid standing there so gracefully inside a completely white room, the petals lush and bright.
“Excuse me?” Her voice was raspy, a croak and she knew if Ann was here now, she would laugh and call her a toad. A lovely toad, sure, just like Shiho used to call her a giraffe with those long legs of hers.
“Yes?” The older woman bustling around her, checking the machines, her white shoes getting dragged with her. “What can I do for you?”
“Do you…do you know who put this orchid here?”
“That orchid?” She looked at the pot of flower, the circle, the beautiful blooms and shrugged. “Some girl from Shujin. Dark haired, if I remember correctly. But I can’t tell you for sure, Suzui.”
“That’s okay.” She tried to squint at the nametag. “Izumi.”
“I can’t blame you for noticing it. It is a really beautiful plant. Must have cost a fortune to get such a pretty one. Normally the ones with circles are really pricey.”
Was it Ann? Or perhaps even Yozora?
Who was the person to bring her such a beautiful flower? Who was willing to spend so much money on someone like her?
“Anyway, that would be all of now, Suzui. Anything else I can get you before I continue with my round?”
Shaking her head, Shiho continued to look at the orchid, admiring the way the leaves were spread like wings. She didn’t notice the way the nurse’s lips were pursed, how something like thoughtfulness appeared on her face, an expression that rarely caught the face of the older woman. An expression that rarely happened.
In that moment, the resemblance to Izumi's older daughter was rarely more close.
“No, thank you very much.”
This flower was all she needed. Ann’s face looking at her, her mother’s arms welcoming her back and that beautiful orchid; the return to life was perfect.
Kamoshida was gone. She was free.
The white petals were all in full bloom.
In learning you will teach
And in teaching you will learn
You'll find your place beside the ones you love
Oh, and all the things you dreamed of
The visions that you saw
Well, the time is drawing near now
It's yours to claim it all
Son of Man, look to the sky
Lift your spirit, set it free
Someday you'll walk tall with pride
Son of Man, a man in time you'll be