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During the day, he was always on edge. Always guarded. He was just as bad at night, maybe even worse. After all, if there was a time to rest, surely it would be when the moon was soft and twinkling and when a soft, dewy darkness enveloped the night?
Even Reiji couldn’t escape the lull of sleep, such a siren call in the witching hour. He had found himself mysteriously transported from his desk to his bed many times in the past, as a child and as an adolescent. If he could not be moved, then at the very least, he would find himself in the morning, adorned with a soft blanket for some comfort.
Yet Shun attempted to go against this natural rhythm of day and night, of work and rest. He tried to be all work, all guardianship and protective. Bags under his eyes and all. Curled up, fierce, defiant of his body’s need to rest. Pure resistance, pure determination.
That’s why Reiji was glad to see Shun begin to soften that regard. He would come to bed and lie there, on his side. Protective of himself and his privacy, but still letting Reiji within his sphere of personal space. It was sweet in only the way that Shun could be.
Then Reiji began to see the inklings of why Shun was so resistant and reluctant to put himself to bed. The war that he was on the patrol for never stopped for him, in his mind, they were still raging their invasions, their bombings. It might have even been worse for him now, that world that he had once known, as crumbled and destroyed as it was, was gone now. They could repair what was left of it after the dimensional merge but it was never going to be Shun’s idyllic, childhood home again after all he had experienced.
Watching Shun sleep, Reiji could only wish that he could give his lover some peace.
Shun didn’t know that Reiji had taken to watching him sleep. Reiji didn’t know how to bring it up, those moments of serenity which felt oddly perverse. It wasn’t purposeful. It just happened. After all, Shun would only retire to bed well after Reiji had, thinking he was asleep - or other times, Reiji was asleep but merely awoke for no reason at all.
In these rare, precious moments, Shun looked so beautiful. Gentle and unguarded; almost like an entirely different person. He looked peaceful. The grey and the dim of night suited him already, sharpening his avian features, giving them the edge he needed to be so strong but curled up on his side, asleep, the night finally gave him that softness that he had been owed for so long. The timbre of his breathing was soothing, and even something to be cherished.
Though such thoughts were few and far between. His face was, more often not, completely blank. Devoid of either pleasantness or unpleasantness, under Reiji’s observations. But other times, his expressions as he slept became heartbreaking and it became apparent that once more, in his head, they were still fighting. He was still eating war rations, still searching for his sister, still scouring the ruins of his beloved Heartland for survivors and any scrap of hope. Using the game that had once brought joy to him as his sole weapon to survive.
The horrors, the terrors, the evils of it all would flick and wrench across Shun’s face as he slept, slowly encumbering unto his nightmare. He could work through it as best as he could during the day. Mandated therapy and that sort of thing which he hated since he still wanted to cling to this outdated survival mode. Trying to reestablish some sense of normalcy on his own terms and ideas, most of which just included that he resist sleep, however possible, sleeping only when he crashed and burned.
Shun did his best, Reiji thought in what closeness they allowed each other. They were similar in their core values and goals yet so remarkably unalike when it came to executing them. Reiji believed in a time and place; Shun only believed in the then and now. But they made it work. Not always but usually. They had their spats, they had their make-up kisses. A sort of rhythm and dynamic that was uniquely theirs.
Kept up at night with no reason other than he could be awake, Reiji watched Shun sleep. Perhaps it was fortunate in this instance, perhaps not, but Reiji’s heart sank as he watched Shun’s once peaceful - or even dreamless - transform into a night terror.
Reiji knew not to disrupt Shun’s night terrors. Not even if they escalated to thrashing but it still hurt him to watch as his brow deepened and his body twitched. A violence the likes of which the pampered and prepared Reiji had never experienced.
But despite knowing not to disturb Shun, he wanted to give him some comfort, some grace, amid his nightmare. To turn the dark and bitter into a sweet dream, somehow. Not an overly sexual person, nor apparently an overly ethical person, Reiji shifted in the bed, drew closer to Shun, very careful not to make a sudden move and tried to give Shun something wet over the hard and dry of the craterous cement he was no doubt envisioning in his dreams.
Reiji placed his hand atop Shun’s forehead. He was slick with a growing sweat, so Reiji wiped it off before leaving a single kiss in his wake, in the middle of Shun’s brow. His heart throbbed and he knew that he shouldn’t but he lowered his kiss.
Reiji kissed Shun's pulse. It was rapid and warm but he kissed it anyway, suckled it and elicited a sigh from Shun’s mouth. Reiji stopped, his blood froze, and he waited for Shun to make a move. He continued his vague thrash as he tried to escape his nightmare. The present stimuli, Reiji concluded, was still too soft.
He pulled back the covers and Shun shivered. Reiji didn’t think it was all that cool tonight so he resolved to make Shun feel warm. He arranged himself very slowly, very delicately, getting atop him, aligning their legs. It was all very artful in its difficulty but Reiji managed.
He even found himself rising to the situation. Getting turned on. He felt like a criminal, like a thief, that he was about to steal something. He supposed he was all those things, doing those things as his hand led his mind without thinking. He began to reveal more of Shun’s body.
Shun didn’t wear matching pyjamas. He just threw on whatever and looked like he could walk the streets in these clothes all the same as slumber unpeacefully beneath them. Reiji loosened the cord of his track pants and jimmied them back, revealing Shun’s underfed physique. He was slender but ill in how his bones jutted out beneath taut skin. His thinness pained Reiji rather than created allure.
Usually, at least.
Right now, Reiji was concerned for Shun’s internality, his emotions and the indiscernible from his external vessel. Or at least that was the nobleness guiding Reiji’s actions as he found them becoming increasingly selfish.
Reiji found himself more than able to relent his concerns for Shun’s bodily health. His slender stomach made Reiji’s mouth water and so he caressed the side of it. Reiji, this time, shivered at the touch. Shun hardly reacted. Still too soft, Reiji scolded himself but at least, the inaction was hopeful. Perhaps the nightmare had subsided but Reiji couldn’t find himself believing in the possibility of sweet dreams.
He continued to commit to his act. Reiji continued to pull back Shun’s clothing, freeing his limp dick. He found himself mulling over Shun’s conscious preferences and decided they would be the best to enact onto his sleeping body.
He started by groping Shun’s shaft with the intention of masturbating him. Again, he was slow and could not be more understated about it as Reiji had no desire to awake Shun and explain what it was that he was doing to him. But Shun was a lot different asleep than awake, Reiji should have realised that but this cemented it for him.
The pace at which Shun hardened as Reiji masturbated him was not quite so swift as he was awake. Sliding his hand up and down Shun’s shaft repeatedly, Reiji thought that Shun shouldn’t be flaccid at this point. Or maybe it was just hard for Reiji to estimate in the dark, dreary in his own mind with sleep and a slurred arousal of his own. But even so, they both managed. Shun began to harden in the palm of Reiji’s hand.
Shun’s breath hitched as he felt Reiji jerk him off. His chest tightened and Reiji paused out of sheer fear. His hand felt tight around Shun’s dick. He felt the veins begin to become pronounced against his fist. Reiji inhaled a proud breath and he found himself smirking in the dark.
He lowered himself down then some. Shun smelt vaguely of musk as Reiji kissed the base of his shaft. He licked a stripe up the underside of Shun’s dick and sealed his lips around his crown. He swirled his tongue through the ridges of Shun’s head before receding back.
Reiji glanced over Shun and noticed that he was becoming more receptive to his touches, even asleep. Reiji smiled a small smile to himself. Perhaps his endeavour to imitate the sandman was working; perhaps nightmares were giving way to wet dreams. Shun lay there, still but not quite prone. There was a deep blush to his face.
Reiji licked his lips and proceeded to blow Shun again. Still careful as to not wake Shun but such care was becoming more difficult. He seemed more prone to waking up now, aroused and seemingly enjoying the experienced but also because Reiji was finding himself growing reckless, definitely enjoying the experience that he was enacting upon Shun.
He continued to fellate Shun, taking note of every reaction, no matter how minor. He was panting now, his breathing ragged as he slept but he wasn’t thrashing, afraid. He was moving more but these were all the twitches and flexes that Reiji was accustomed to eliciting from Shun in previous acts of fellatio. The normalcy beginning to protrude from this abnormal situation boded well for Reiji.
Reiji could even taste the first drops of pre-come. It was salty but oddly welcome on Reiji’s tongue as he used it in excess upon Shun’s corona. All but confirming Reiji’s intuition that Shun was close to climaxing in this state. The notion made Reiji lose even more of his increasingly fleeting composure. Shun groaned and Reiji felt it reverberate through his body; it was such a groggy noise and Reiji swallowed it whole.
Shun came in the moments following as Reiji still performed fellatio of decadent technique upon him. It caused him to jolt up. Reiji was unflappable between Shun’s legs as they thrashed about as he tried to work out what was happening; when did he fall asleep; what was that weight?
Yet the words that came tumbling out of Shun’s mouth were none of those questions, instead it was a statement, “Keep going…”
Reiji was pleased with such a thing spoken in the lull of sleep, taking it as an affirmative. All whilst striking eye contact with Shun, with cum dripping out the sides of his mouth yet such visage, even in the dark, was thrilled by it. It was a dream but it was real and Shun could make neither here nor there of what was happening and even though it was strange and convoluted, he knew that he didn’t want it to stop. He was reviled by how base this decision was and yet, he crumpled in on himself and carded his hands through Reiji’s hair, panting, heart pounding like a drum in his chest.
And so, per Shun’s request, Reiji kept going.