Work Text:
SBI - (Stupid Bitches Inc)
——————11/7/21——————
Technoblade — 7:33 pm
ticket has been purchased
Technoblade — 7:33 pm
screenshot_Nov7.jpg attached
[Image description: A poorly cropped screenshot of a boarding pass from LAX to Heathrow. States Techno's legal name, flight number, and seat number.]
tommyinnit — 7:33 pm
POG!!!!!
5 DAYS BIG MEN
5 DAYS :D
Ph1LzA — 7:34 pm
Awesome m8! What date/time is your flight?
Technoblade — 7:35 pm
Nov. 11th at 7:45 am. One layover in Cancun. Should land at 7:30 am on the 12th.
tommyinnit — 7:35 pm
WILBUR!!!! WILB WIL WILWIL WIL
gUESS WHAT
tommyinnit — 7:36 pm
@WilburSoot
@WilburSoot
@WilburSoot
WilburSoot — 7:38 pm
HELLO?!
WHAT IS IT
tommyinnit — 7:38 pm
WILBURR!!
HELLO MY BROTHER
TECHNO IS GOING TO CANCUN
Technoblade — 7:40 pm
I have a layover in Cancun
I’m not going there
WilburSoot — 7:41 pm
don’t say that I will cry
TECHNO IS GOING TO CANCUN?!!?
Technoblade — 7:42 pm
I’m not—
tommyinnit — 7:43 pm
HE IS
WilburSoot — 7:43 pm
and without us?!
Techno I thought we were friends
Ph1LzA — 7:44 pm
He’s not going to Cancun
tommyinnit — 7:44 pm
TECHNO HOW DARE YOU GO TO CANCUN WITHOYT ME AND WILL I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS BROTHERS EVENHOW COULD YOU SO ESILY BETRAY US
Technoblade — 7:46 pm
I am going to cancel my flight
WilburSoot — 7:48 pm
NOOOOO
NO
NO
NO
tommyinnit — 7:48 pm
dONT CANCEL
THINK ABT YOUR CANCUN ARC
Ph1LzA — 7:49 pm
Jesus Christ do you guys know how to turn off capslock
WilburSoot — 7:50 pm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ph1LzA — 7:50 pm
Omfg
Technoblade — 7:51 pm
I’m leaving
[Technoblade’s Status: Offline]
WilburSoot — 7:52 pm
good going tommy u scared him off
tommyinnit — 7:52 pm
no i fucking didnt u did prick
WilburSoot — 7:53 pm
if techno actually canceled his flight im blaming u
tommyinnit — 7:53 pm
and im blaming u
tommyinnit — 7:53 pm
bitch
——————11/8/21——————
tommyinnit — 9:12 am
Techno u didnt actually cancel ur flight right
Ph1LzA — 9:14 am
He’s asleep m8
tommyinnit — 9:15 am
oh right
tommyinnit — 9:16 am
i knew that
Technoblade — 3:13 pm
you know
they dont have cheez-itz in the uk
idk if i can come visit until they have those in stores
Ph1LzA — 3:15 pm
m8 wtf is a cheez-it
Technoblade — 3:15 pm
oh my god
tommyinnit — 3:16 pm
TECHNOBLADE THER YU AER
Technoblade — 3:16 pm
what do you eat if you don’t have cheez-itz?
tommyinnit — 3:16 pm
TECHNOBLDAE DIDYOU CANECL YOUR FLIGHT OR NT TECHNOBLADE
Ph1LzA — 3:17 pm
Uh
Biscuits?
tommyinnit — 3:17 pm
TECHNOOOOBLADDDFDEEEEEEE PLZ
Technoblade — 3:18 pm
oh my god
you live like animals
Ph1LzA — 3:18 pm
lmao
tommyinnit — 3:18 pm
@WilburSoot
@WilburSoot
@WilburSoot
HELP
TECHNO IS IGNORING MEEEE
Wilbur Soot — 3:19 pm
why does this keep happening to me
what
tommyinnit — 3:19 pm
technoladde is ignorning me
sobs
cries
vomits
Wilbur Soot — 3:19 pm
Techno hes vommiting you gotta help him man
Technoblade — 3:23 pm
let him vomit
Ph1LzA — 3:24 pm
Techno
Technoblade — 3:25 pm
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
tommyinnit — 3:25 pm
D;
Ph1LzA started a call at 3:28 pm that lasted 4 hours
——————11/9/21——————
Technoblade — 11:22 am
what’s the weather like in England?
Ph1LzA — 11:30 am
It’s overcast and rainy most days and the temp never gets above 10 degrees
Technoblade — 11:32 am
celsius?
Ph1LzA — 11:34 am
Mhm
Technoblade — 11:35 am
oh my god im going to have to buy a coat
tommyinnit — 11:35 am
hold on u dont own a coat? not a single one?
Technoblade — 11:36 am
no…? why would i ever need one? it never gets below 50 degrees fahrenheit here
tommyinnit — 11:36 am
whats that in celsius
Ph1LzA — 11:37 am
20 degrees
tommyinnit — 11:38 am
wait so its like summer all year round?
Technoblade — 11:39 am
well in the summer it gets much hotter. you would melt
tommyinnit — 11:40 am
no i wouldnt
Technoblade — 11:41am
yes. yes you would
so what kind of coat should i bring? a thick one?
Ph1LzA — 11:43 am
A regular coat should be fine m8. Just make sure to make that it’s waterproof.
Technoblade — 11:42 am
:thumbs_up:
tommyinnit — 11:44 am
techno i want to come to california
techno can i come to california
Technoblade — 11:45 am
uhhh
tommyinnit — 11:46 am
philllllll
Ph1LzA — 11:47 am
?
tommyinnit — 11:47 am
take me to california plz
Ph1LzA — 11:48 am
Absolutely not
tommyinnit — 11:48 am
but why nooooootttt
Ph1LzA — 11:49 am
Ask Wilbur
tommyinnit — 11:50 am
but i dont wanna go with wil
hes annoying
and clingy
and a dickhead
[WilburSoot’s Status: Online]
tommyinnit — 11:51 am
uh oh…
Technoblade — 11:51 am
lmao
Ph1LzA — 11:51 am
Might want to start running m8
[tommyinnit’s Status: Offline]
WilburSoot — 11:55 am
i fucking hate that child
Technoblade — 11:56 am
same
Ph1LzA — 11:56 am
Same
——————11/10/21——————
tommyinnit — 8:32 am
1 DAY EVERYONE THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ph1LzA — 8:40 am
Goodmorning Tommy
tommyinnit — 8:41 am
GM PHILZA MINECRAFT
TECHNI WILL BE HERE TMR
Ph1LzA — 8:42 am
I’m aware m8 that’s why I’m up getting the guest room ready for him
tommyinnit — 8:42 am
SOUNDS BORING
im going to eat breakfast brb
Ph1LzA — 8:42 am
Cya
WilburSoot — 2:03 pm
phil ur such a dad
Ph1LzA — 2:06 pm
What
WilburSoot — 2:06 pm
getting the room all ready for ur oldest son
i bet u got out the good pillows and even went shopping for his fav snacks
its frankly disgusting
Ph1LzA — 2:07 pm
I
What
WilburSoot — 2:09 pm
i hope u rot in hell
Techno — 10:12 pm
finally finished packing
Techno — 10:12 pm
screenshot_Nov10.jpg attached
[Image description: A dim photo of a beat-up suitcase propped up against a door.]
Ph1LzA — 10:15 pm
Awesome m8! Did you double-check you got everything?
Techno — 10:16 pm
im pretty sure i do
Wilbur Soot — 10:18 pm
if u end up forgetting something u can always borrow from me
we’re like the same build
Techno — 10:19 pm
cool thx wilbur
Wilbur Soot — 10:20 pm
:)
Ph1LzA — 10:22 pm
They're brothers your honor :palms_up_together:
tommyinnit — 10:25 pm
IM SO FUCKING EXCITED
ARE YOI EXVITED TECHNO
BC I AM
Techno — 10:27 PM
im pretty excited yeah
tommyinnit — 10:28 pm
AS YOU SHOULD
BC UR FINALLY GOING TO BE MEETING ME
THE BEST PERSON EVER
Techno — 10:29 pm
ok tommy
WilburSoot — 10:29 pm
tommy go to bed
tommyinnit — 10:30 pm
UR NOT THE BOSS OF ME
WilburSoot — 10:31 pm
its past ur bedtime go to bed
tommyinnit — 10:32 pm
STFU I DONT HAVE A BEDTIME
WilburSoot — 10:33 pm
yes u do and it was an hour ago
tommyinnit — 10:34 pm
>:(
fine ill go to bed but only bc im tired
Techno — 12:02 am
gn tommy
I’ll text tmr before I take off :)
Ph1LzA — 12:02 am
Gn m8
Wilbur Soot — 12:03 am
sleep tight dont let the bedbugs bite
tommyinnit — 12:04 am
i dont have bedbugs
Wilbur Soot — 12:04 am
sure u dont
tommyinnit — 12:05 am
im too much of a big man to have bedbugs
instead of the bugs biting me i bites them
Wilbur Soot — 12:06 am
thats quote book
tommyinnit — 12:06 am
:b
——————11/11/21——————
tommyinnit — 6:20 am
TODAY IS THE DAY
I REPEAT
TODAY IS THE MOTHERFUCKING DAY
WilburSoot — 6:21 am
y r u awake child
tommyinnit — 6:22 am
college
y r u awake wil
and im not a child
WilburSoot — 6:23 am
college = child
and im going to bed
tommyinnit — 6:24 am
stfu i am a huge man
huge educated man*
y r u just now going to bed
WilburSoot — 6:24 am
was up all night song writing u know how it is
tommyinnit — 6:25 am
BUT TECHNP IS COMING TOAY U CANT BE TIRED FOR TECHNO
WilburSoot — 6:26 am
he wont be here until later ill be fine
tommyinnit — 6:27 am
>:(
bus time ttyl
WilburSoot — 6:27 am
call me during ur lunch break plz:)
tommyinnit — 6:28 am
ofc big man
tommyinnit started a call at 11:45 am that lasted for 30 minutes
Techno — 3:15 pm
boarding now
see you on the other side o7
tommyinnit — 3:16 pm
POGGG!!!!!!
Ph1LzA — 3:16 pm
Cya m8!
Wilbur Soot — 3:17 pm
how did u make something so exciting sound so morbid
Wilbur Soot — 3:19 pm
Techno?
Wilbur Soot — 3:20 pm
annnnd hes gone
Technoblade — 8:00 pm
cancun.jpg attached
[Image description: A shaky picture of an airport sign that reads "Welcome to Cancun" in bright orange lettering. Techno's hand is in a visible peace sign in front of the phone-camera-lense]
tommyinnit — 8:01 pm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ph1LzA — 8:03 pm
How long is the layover m8
Wilbur Soot — 8:04 pm
DONT LET THE COCNUTS AND PRISTINE WATERS SEDUCE YOU
Technoblade — 8:05 pm
hour and a half
Ph1LzA — 8:05 pm
Oh that’s not bad
tommyinnit — 8:06 pm
NO SEDUCTION
TECHNO IS TOO POWERFUL TO BE SEDUCED
Wilbur Soot — 8:07 pm
DONT LEAVE THE AIRPORT TECHNO OR ELSE YOU MIGHT NEVER RETURN
Ph1LzA — 8:07 pm
Lmao what
Technoblade — 8:08 pm
I wasn’t planning on it.
Wilbur Soot —8:08 pm
GOOD
Technoblade — 8:20 pm
oh god
oh god
someone just sat next to me
why
all of these empty chairs
and they chose the one RIGHT next to me
what do I do
tommyinnit — 8:25
tell them to fuck off
Technoblade — 8:25 pm
no
Ph1LzA — 8:26 pm
Ignore them
Technoblade — 8:26 pm
ok
Technoblade — 8:30 pm
im hiding in the bathroom
Ph1LzA — 8:31 pm
What happened to ignoring them
Technoblade — 8:31 pm
they kept looking at me
Ph1LzA — 8:31 pm
Were you looking at them?
Technoblade — 8:32 pm
maybe
but only to make sure they werent looking at me and they were
Ph1LzA — 8:31 pm
Jesus christ go back to the waiting area Techno
It’s gonna give you more anxiety to not be able to hear when your flight is announced
Technoblade — 8:33 pm
youre right
thanks phil
Ph1LzA — 8:34 pm
Ofc m8
Technoblade — 9:30 pm
leaving Cancun now
WilburSoot — 9:30 pm
FINALLY
tommyinnit —9:31 pm
GOOD MAN TECNOBLDAE
Ph1LzA — 9:32 pm
Next time we hear from you you will be in the Queen’s land :D
Technoblade — 9:33 pm
sigh
only 11 more hours to go
tommyinnit —11:11 pm
whens techno gonna be here
WilburSoot — 11:12 pm
soon
tommyinnit —11:12 pm
whens soon
can it be now
WilburSoot — 11:12 pm
be patient child
tommyinnit —11:13 pm
cant he just be here already
WilburSoot — 11:14 pm
thats not how time works
tommyinnit —11:15 pm
:(
WilburSoot — 11:17 pm
wanna play TF2 ?
tommyinnit — 11:17
techno usually plays that with us
WilburSoot — 11:17 pm
tommayyyyeeeee
tommyinnit —11:18 pm
fine. call me
WilburSoot started a call at 11:19 pm that lasted 3 hours
——————11/12/21——————
Technoblade — 7:46 am
just landed
making my way off the plane
Ph1LzA — 7:47 am
Pog m8
We be at baggage claim
Technoblade — 7:47 am
ok
Technoblade — 7:59 am
where are you
tommyinnit — 8:01 am
I SEE YOU