Chapter Text
The searing pain in Regulus's stomach melted away as soon as he roused from unconsciousness. He blinked uncertainly, not raising his head or letting anyone who might be watching know he was awake- he wasn’t that stupid.
His ears were still ringing though and his stomach jumped with every breath he took, but to be honest he was just surprised he was breathing in the first place.
It should’ve been impossible- it was impossible. No one except Kreacher knew his whereabouts and he’d given specific instructions the elf wasn’t allowed to tell his family. With his parents out of the picture and the rest of the Death Eaters unlikely to prove sympathetic to him, his fate was sealed.
Until it wasn’t apparently.
After a few more moments his breath steadied and the ringing dulled. He could tell he was in a house, on a bed, tied to a bed actually. Both wrists were bound by his side to the frame, his ankles to the posts at the end. He tugged at them, but his body was still weak- even if it wasn’t he doubted they would budge, surely they were charmed.
“What would you have me do with him, Moony?” A familiar yet strange voice cried. It was, he supposed, intended to be a whisper but it was too charged with emotion and anger.
“Not this!” Another replied, less familiar, but with context clues, Regulus could place it. No matter how long it had been he knew his brother’s voice well, and there was only one person who allowed themself to be called such a ridiculous name.
“Pads-hey stop it!” Another voice, this one more difficult to place. Judging from the lot Sirius tended to spend his time with it could be Potter or Pettigrew, though as Pettigrew was spotted at more and more meetings Regulus had grown more accustomed to his voice- Potter then.
“Moony, it’s too late to change now,” Potter said, a little breathless, Regulus imagined he’d just broken up what could’ve been a duel or perhaps a common fistfight, “We’ll just have to adapt.”
“Adapt?” Lupin repeated, “How am I supposed to adapt to a Death Eater in my bedroom?”
Regulus's eyes raised, he hadn’t expected it to be Lupin’s bed he was currently hogtied to.
“You’re looking at this all wrong!” Sirius said, ignoring Lupin entirely, “We have a Death Eater!”
“That’s the problem.”
“No!” Sirius said, gleefully the same way he used to tell Regulus about Hogwarts during his first Christmas break, “It’s the solution!”
“How do you figure, Pads?” Potter asked suspiciously,
“We’ve never been able to catch a Death Eater- not like this.” Sirius pointed out, “He’s still recovering, he has no wand… Marlene and Lily are already on their way, once we’re all together and he wakes up- we can interrogate him.”
Interrogate him? Regulus scoffed. He wished his plan had worked- this whole thing could’ve been avoided if he’d simply died.
He’d been too loud in his annoyance apparently because the voices were quiet at once, and he heard footsteps coming towards the door moments before it creaked open.
Sirius looked him in the eye for the first time in years. He could see Lupin and Potter behind him but Regulus could only stare at his brother in shock.
He’d always hated how much they looked alike, often being mistaken for one another in childhood, though that had stopped after they went to Hogwarts and their robes gave away their identities. He’d thought as they aged they grew further apart in ideology and appearance, but in the years it had been since he’s seen his brother in the flesh the realisation that they looked more alike than they ever had before set in.
“Regulus?” Sirius asked tentatively,
“Why-How am I here?” Regulus replied, “I shouldn’t-”
“Kreacher.” Sirius responded, shuffling the rest of the way inside, Potter and Lupin not far behind him, “He found me and took me to you.”
Regulus's eyebrow furrowed, “That’s impossible.”
Sirius shrugged, “It’s what happened.”
“I told him he wasn’t to tell any family-” Regulus started when realisation dawned on both their faces,
“I’m no longer a part of the noble and most ancient house of Black, Reg,” Sirius said, with a light smile like he was making fun of their family’s title, Regulus scowled. He was a fool then, he’d been so caught up in his suicide mission he’d missed details, he’d left things up to chance.
“Well, you should’ve left me,” Regulus said, purposefully refusing to rise to Sirius's bait.
“Left you?” Sirius asked, “You were dying.”
“I know that.” Regulus's spit back, savoring the way Sirius's face drops,
“So you’re willing to die for him now? Is that it Reg?” Sirius asked, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Trying to prove yourself more fanatical than Bella?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to the likes of you,” Regulus said, and he recognised the way Sirius's shoulders tensed, he’d seen it before when he fought with his mother, like a warning sign before all hell broke loose.
Potter clocked it too, “Pads, calm down- the girls will be here soon and we can get this all sorted out.”
“Get what sorted out?” Regulus asked, trying to stifle the jealous pit that sunk in his stomach at seeing Potter relax his brother. Potter had always been the brother Sirius had wanted and now he had him. What use did any of them have for Regulus anyway?
“We need to know what kind of mission you were on.” Sirius said, “A what your little dark lord is planning to do next.”
Regulus rolled his eyes and bit his tongue to defend himself. It would fall on deaf ears, besides the more people knew about the Horcruxes, the more people Voldemort would kill.
“Fine?” Sirius asked, “You don’t want to tell us?”
If Regulus could cross his arms over his chest defiantly, he would.
"Don't worry. The veritaserum will do all the hard work for you, Reg."
At this Regulus's eyes widened, and Sirius grinned victoriously, “What? You afraid to tell the truth for once in your miserable life?”
“Fuck you, Sirius,” Regulus said, and his older brother’s grin only widened,
“Oh! Baby Black’s got a mouth on him, huh?”
“Pads-” Potter said, but this time Sirius brushed him off,
His brother stepped closer to the bed and Regulus was genuinely uncertain what Sirius was about to do. He didn’t think Sirius would hit him, at least not while he could barely lift his head and was tied to a bed, but the possibility couldn’t entirely be ruled out thanks to the dangerous glint in his brother’s eyes.
A knock at the door would leave his brother’s intentions forever unknown. Regulus considered the thought that Sirius himself didn’t even know what he was about to do.
“James?” A quiet voice called from the hallway, the door closed after a moment two girls appeared in the doorway, he recognised them from his time at Hogwarts, and from the conversation he’d eavesdropped in on earlier.
“Lily- thanks for coming,” Potter goes to his in a heartbeat and presses a kiss to her cheek, but neither girl looks away from Regulus once they spot him.
“Is that-”
"My baby brother, the Death Eater?" Sirius asked, "Why, yes, it is."
“Come on then-” Lupin herds them all towards the door, “We need to confirm your identities.”
Regulus can hear a bit of complaining from the group, and Lupin assures them that “Yes. This is necessary.”
He hears someone whisper, “Muffliato” and then nothing else. Makes sense, he supposed, wouldn’t be much use to have identity verification questions if a Death Eater was privy to them.
They shuffle back in a moment later, the two girls gawking at him just as openly as they had before.
“When you said you needed veritaserum I never thought it’d be… for this,” Lily said,
“You’ve got it then?” Remus asked,
“Yeah, I had some extra,” Lily explained, before digging a small vial out of her pocket. Regulus tenses at the sight of it, but his binding leaves no room to pull away.
“How did you get veritaserum?” Regulus asked, trying to calm his heartbeat and appear unbothered by the potion.
Lily gives him an unimpressed look, “What? Mudbloods can’t brew potions?”
“Huh? No.” Regulus said, confused, “It’s illegal. Usage is heavily controlled by the ministry.”
“We’re fighting a war,” Sirius said, “And it’s not like the other side is playing by the rules.”
Regulus scoffed again, and this was supposed to be the good side. A load of hypocrites the lot of them.
“Right then,” Potter said, “No time to beat around the bush.”
Lily nodded and started towards Regulus, who could no longer control his heartbeat or the fight remaining in his arms, he couldn’t stop himself from crying, “I’ll tell you! Anything!”
Lily paused and sent a look to Sirius who was… troubled. He looked at Regulus searchingly, as if he had ever been able to tell if Regulus was lying.
“We can’t risk it, Pads,” Lupin said quietly, not waiting for Sirius's verdict he nodded to Lily.
She grimaced and set to work, pinching Regulus's nose till he had to open his mouth for air, and dripping a few drops of the potion into his mouth.
He couldn’t have coughed it up if he tried, it was tasteless and she’d given him such a small dose it slipped down his throat stealthily.
“Well?” Lily said, standing back and looking at him curiously, turning to look back at Marlene who shrugged.
“Ask him something,” Potter suggested,
“What’s your name?” Sirius asked,
“Regulus Arcturus Black.” Regulus replied, this would take for ever at this rate.
"Something he doesn't want to tell us," Marlene said, and he was equally annoyed with her suggestion as he was relieved. At least he wouldn't spend an hour playing personal trivia.
“What are the dark lord’s plans?” Lupin said,
“Utter domination,” Regulus said, “Taking control of the government, schools. Everything. Wiping out muggle-borns and half-bloods alike, enslaving muggles.”
He could give them the whole spiel if they really liked, as long as they didn’t ask any real questions he’d had no reason to worry about revealing anything he didn’t want to. Or at least he thought so, till he realised he hadn’t told the entire truth, and as soon as he knew that, the potion knew that.
He clenched his jaw, staring furiously at the floorboards below him, they picked up on his silence immediately,
“What?” Potter asked, “What is it?”
Regulus ground his jaw even harder, squeezing his eyes shut as his stomach started to clench painfully, he wanted to curl in on himself but the bindings on his limbs restricted his movement so much, he could barely struggle.
“Merlin- Regulus just say it!” Sirius cried, but Regulus could barely hear him, the pain was overwhelming him like ice was winding its way through his bones and up to his skull. He could feel something run down his face but he paid it no mind. Instead, he focused on clamping his mouth shut because he knew what the first thing out of it would be.
“He’s bleeding!” Someone shouted, Lily, considering how close it sounded, something brushed under his nose, so that’s what that was.
“For Merlin’s sake just say it!” Sirius cried, and the pain was so bad at the familiar voice Regulus couldn’t help but crack his eyes open to look at his brother- unfortunately, with his eyes open his mouth followed.
“He’s becoming immortal!” Regulus cried, finally able to breathe, to think, now that the pain in his body receded, more blood dripped from his nose, but the group in front of him was so stuck in shock no one made a move to wipe it this time.
“He’s what?” Sirius asked, coldly, like Regulus was a stranger.
“He’s becoming immortal.” Regulus repeated in a small voice, “Or he already has I suppose.”
“Fuck.” Potter said under his breath, “How?”
Regulus groaned, he didn’t have much range of motion but he could press his head back into the pillows behind him in rebellion, “Horcruxes.”
It was the truth, he didn’t think he had to elaborate so the potion stayed dormant, they stared at him blankly, though and he could tell what their next question would be. And that he wouldn’t want to answer it.
“Horcruxes?” Marlene asked, from the back, she stepped closer to Regulus, he could see the recognition in her eyes, “He made one?”
“One that I know of,” Regulus confirmed and her face paled even more, but it was true. Regulus had no confirmation any others existed- only a very sneaking suspicion Voldemort wouldn’t take half measures in chasing immortality.
“I read a book about them once,” Marlene explained to the rest of them, “They’re nasty- you’ve got to split your soul in half to make one and that’s not even the worst part.”
“What’s the worst part?” Lily asked, even though the question wasn’t aimed at Regulus he immediately answered it without thinking.
“You have to kill someone- someone important to you- and desecrate the corpse too.” Regulus supplied, and Lily’s face looks stricken.
“What a fun little club you’re a part of, Reg,” Sirius commented, “You a big fan of murder now?”
“No.” Was Regulus's instant reply, he cursed himself- he was barely even resisting anymore,
“Then why are you in that fucking death cult?” Sirius scowled, and the logical part of Regulus's brain knew it was a rhetorical question, the potion however disagreed.
“I’m not,” Regulus said simply, and once again he had all of their attention.
“You-you’re not?” Lupin managed to say,
“No.”
“Since when?” Potter asked,
“Depends what day it is,” Regulus said,
“Still Friday.” Potter supplied, and Regulus thought a moment,
“Then I defected a week ago.”
“You defected?” Sirius cried, “Why didn’t you tell us that?"
“I didn’t think you would believe me,” Regulus said,
Sirius stared at him wildly, “That’s- that’s,”
“Probably true?” Regulus asked, “Considering you forced me to take veritaserum ?”
“Then what were you doing in the cave?” Lupin insisted, “Sirius said it was brimming with dark magic- you seriously expect us to believe that wasn’t an errand for you know who?”
“I was trying to kill him,” Regulus replied, only to the first question, and he felt no urge to respond to the second part, because now the potion could recognise sarcasm. The answer would’ve been no.
“So you went from devoted follower to would-be assassin in a week?” Sirius asked,
“I’ve been having doubts since the beginning,” Regulus admitted, but the potion wouldn’t let him leave it at that, “And I never wanted to follow him in the first place.”
Sirius flat out gapes at that, “Then why?”
Regulus isn’t even sure how he’s supposed to respond to that- there are so many reasons, “I had to.”
“No, you-”
Now Regulus speaks without thinking through no fault of the potion, just his lack of self-control, “I had to! You left! There was no one else!”
“You could’ve-” Sirius started,
“What? Come to you?” Regulus asked, “You didn’t talk to me for a year after you left, you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“I didn’t know!”
“You didn’t ask!” Regulus cried, Sirius is silent at that, and Regulus continued, “You really thought I was on board with murder and torture? At fifteen?”
“You never indicated otherwise!” Sirius exclaimed, “You never tried to help me!”
“I’m the one who got you out in the first place!” Regulus shouted, and if his arm were free, he would’ve slapped a hand over his mouth- he wasn’t even being forced to talk- he was just handing out information like an idiot.
“What?” Sirius asked, much quieter than he had a second ago, the potion didn’t force him to answer though so Regulus stayed quiet, till Sirius caught on, “What did you mean by that?”
He’d been expecting the question this time, and his jaw was already locked, the pain wasn’t welcome but at least he wasn’t giving in like a coward anymore.
“James…” Lily said uneasily, “He’s not going to answer again,”
“Pads- this is personal, you can’t just force him to talk like this-” Potter said, but the end of his sentence was dulled by the familiar ringing,
“He’s my brother,” Sirius insisted, stepping closer to the bed, “What did you do, Reg?”
The question being repeated increased the intensity of the pain, and Regulus's jaw loosened for just a second before he clamped it shut again, unfortunately, this time his tongue was in the way. He cried out in surprise and pain but kept his mouth securely shut, only for the blood to begin trickling from his nose.
“Sirius,” a voice said from far away, Regulus couldn’t feel the bed underneath him anymore, just the icy pain in all his limbs and the tight bindings around him, keeping him flat, “He’s hurting himself.”
Finally, a warm tear fell from his eye and he couldn’t take it, all his muscles relaxed and he could barely hear his own words his hearing was still so muffled, “You would’ve died.”
It wasn’t an answer but it was a start, the pain the potion commanded paused as if waiting to see if he’d finished.
“What?” Sirius asked,
“They make you take the mark at seventeen,” Regulus explained, “But you wouldn’t- I knew you wouldn’t. They would’ve killed you for it.”
Sirius nodded, “I know that- I found-”
“Dad’s letter’s to Bella about it,” Regulus supplied, and Sirius paused,
“How did you-” Sirius started, but the potion got impatient,
“I left them out on his desk, and told you he’d been keeping your school scarves in his office so you’d go looking… and find them instead.”
“But you-” Sirius started, “You were always-”
“Too afraid to stand up to them?” Regulus asked, “There’s a reason I’m not in Gryffindor, Sirius. It was smarter to stay on their good side, and get you out unnoticed.”
“Fucking Slytherins,” Sirius said, but there was a goodnatured smile on his face that hadn’t been there in a while, Regulus wanted to smile back, pretend they were kids again, but they weren’t, and everything Regulus was telling them was putting them in danger.
“So you got Sirius out but made no plans for your own escape?” Lupin chimed in, giving Regulus a look like he didn’t believe a word he was saying, as if he wasn’t under the influence of veritaserum, “Seems like poor planning for someone who never wanted to be a Death Eater.”
It almost wasn’t a direct question, if the phrasing had been slightly different, he probably could’ve dodged it, he groaned uneasily as prickles of pain made their way up his arms, but he couldn’t take it again, “I thought he would take me with him.”
If Regulus had thought his earlier confessions had induced stunned silence in the group he would’ve been wrong. This was silence. Pure shock radiated through each member of the audience- watching Regulus struggle in his bindings miserably.
“You what?” Sirius asked, “I don’t understand.”
“I thought-” Regulus started, realising he didn’t have to answer this, but he knew if he didn’t they’d just ask him more directly, “I thought once you knew what would happen when you turned seventeen, you’d know the same would happen to me. And we’d… we’d run together.”
“I-I,” Sirius stuttered,
“You left rather quickly though,” Regulus recounted, “I didn’t know you were gone till morning. Mother and Father didn’t notice till that night- with the way you all avoided each other.”
“I thought you were… one of them.”
“Yes well, I suppose I was a more convincing actor than I thought,” Regulus said, “Came in handy later.”
“Merlin, Reg,” Sirius said after a moment, “Why didn’t you…”
But his brother trailed off because there was nothing to do. Once Sirius had run, their house had closed rank even more than before- and Regulus didn’t have a convenient Gryfindor best friend to run to.
“I made do.” Regulus sniffed, “Kept my head down, did what I was told… until.”
“Until what?” Lupin asked, looking less suspicious and more genuinely curious,
“He ordered me to kill someone.” Regulus supplied not even waiting for the potion to encourage him, he’d already put them in as much danger as he possibly could, no point in holding back now, “Some muggle-born family- he said blood mixing was a crime. I didn’t know them but they- they hadn’t done anything wrong.”
Lily’s face tenses at his story, and he knows she’s thinking of her marriage to Potter- something that certainly made her even more of a target.
“So you murder a couple and decided it’s not to your taste?” Lupin asked, and Regulus wanted to snark at him, till he looks to his face. Lupin isn’t sneering at him- he’s actually wondering, any snark in his question was seeming unintentional- or perhaps by habit.
“I didn’t murder them.” Regulus responded, still under the influence of the potion, “I told them to get out of Britain and never come back, roughed myself up a little, and went back claiming they’d gotten the jump on me.”
“And he didn’t kill you?” Potter asked incredulously, which was a fair question. Death Eater’s had been killed for smaller failures.
“My mother pleaded my case- I wasn’t seventeen yet- and there were two of them,” Regulus said, “He gave Bellatrix the job of punishing me.”
Though she’d probably seen it as more of a reward, casting the Cruciatus Curse was practically her favourite hobby by that point. They all wince- no doubt aware of Bellatrix’s reputation.
“I only found out about the Horcruxes because I took so long to recover.” Regulus continued, not letting them ask another question about it. No matter how much pain the potion caused him he wasn’t about to go into detail about the worst month of his life, “Father loaned Kreacher out for errands… he sent him to the cave.”
“He sent an elf to the cave?” Sirius asked,
“To plant the Horcrux somewhere difficult find.” Regulus added with a nod, “It nearly killed him.”
“So you had Kreacher show you the way to the cave to find and destroy the Horcrux?” Potter said,
“To replace it with a fake,” Regulus corrected, “Which I did. But I don’t know how to destroy it.”
“And what was your plan to get out there?” Sirius asked suddenly, “If it nearly killed the elf, and you ordered his silence- where was your backup?”
Regulus stared at his brother for a moment, but no urge to reply bubbled in in him- he suspected Sirius already knew his answer.
“What the fuck, Regulus?” Sirius said after a moment, “You were-”
“I wasn’t planning on coming back.” Regulus cut him off, “I’m already dead, you realise that, right?”
“You-what are you talking about?” Sirius said, jumping back like he’d been slapped,
“Your lot will send me to Azkaban,” Regulus pointed out, “The Death Eaters will kill me outright.”
The room is silent- because he’s right.
“I just wanted to do something-” Regulus started, and to his horror, his voice choked up without his consent, “Something right. Like you always did.”
“We wouldn’t-” Lily started, “You haven’t done anything yet,”
“I’ve got the mark, Evans.” Regulus said, even though he knew her first name, “My own brother would barely hear me out, you think any Auror or member of the Order is going to give me the time of day?”
“We can all testify for you.” Sirius said, “You’re under veritaserum, you can’t lie.”
“Illegal veritaserum.” Regulus said, “That would land her in a cell next to mine.”
Lily’s face falls at the mention of the potion that she’s still got her hand wrapped around. She’s gripping it like she’s afraid it’ll drop and break.
“Besides, my brother and his best friends testifying on my behalf is hardly compelling evidence,” Regulus said, “If anything- it’ll just cast doubt on you.”
“Reg-” Sirius said, “I’m not going to let you-”
“When have you ever let me do anything?” Regulus tried to snap but it didn’t have any bite.
“You aren’t dying.” Lupin said, “Or going to Azkaban.”
“We call a meeting of the Order,” Lily suggested, “Tell them everything- the information you gave was valuable, Regulus. It’ll buy some goodwill.”
“It was coerced.” Regulus pointed out,
“Yes- but we can’t tell them how, since that would get me in trouble,” Lily said brightly, “So it was freely given.”
“Peter’s hosting the next meeting,” Potter commented, “I’m sure we could convince him to move it up- hell, we could host it tonight!”
At that Regulus barked out a laugh, and they all looked at him again, he regretted it instantly,
“What’s funny, Reg?” Sirius asked, “We’re trying to save your life here.”
This time Regulus answered freely, no encouragement from the potion needed, “Pettigrew’s a spy.”
“What?” A chorus of voices asked him at once,
“You’re lying.” Lupin said, after they’d gotten over their initial shock, he was suddenly very close to the bed and looking at Regulus menacingly.
“He’s under veritaserum, Moony,” Potter pointed out,
“Then maybe’s he’s been lying the whole time,” Lupin barked,
“I told you, big brother,” Regulus said, “How would you convince anyone I’m not evil when you’re boyfriend can’t even believe it?”
They still, all of them looking at him wide-eyed.
“Oh, sorry.” Regulus said, “Was that supposed to be a secret?”
“How did you-” Sirius started.
“I have eyes.” Regulus interrupted, “and ears, unfortunately.”
Sirius winced at that, “That’s not the point, what do you mean Peter’s a spy.”
“He’s been coming to meetings for a while now,” Regulus said, “Having private talks with Voldemort.”
They flinch at Voldemort’s name, even the Order is afraid to invoke him.
“Maybe he’s working for Dumbledore.” Lily suggested, “Like he’s a double agent.”
“Technically he’d be a triple agent- if that were the case.” Regulus pointed out, “But it’s not. He’s given detailed plans of your attacks, the locations of safe houses, and the names of muggle-borns to target- I hope that’s not something Dumbledore would allow for the sake of an eye on the other side.”
Lupin pursed his lips but said nothing. He’s simply correct.
“You lot barely believe me,” Regulus said, “No one else will- except possibly the Death Eater’s who’ll torture me for weeks before killing me… so I’d say I’m pretty fucked.”
“Shut up, Reg,” Sirius snapped, “I’m trying to think,”
“First time for everything,” Regulus snarked back, but his brother wasn’t even paying attention.
“I think… you might be right.” Sirius said after a moment, “This would be loads easier if you were dead.”
“Sirius!” Lily exclaimed, “He’s barely seventeen!”
Regulus was surprised at Sirius’s change of opinion and mildly disappointed by it, but he realised it was necessary.
“Just do it.” Regulus said, closing his eyes and relaxing into the bed.
“We are not killing him!” Lupin said, “Not in the house anyway!”
“I’m not gonna kill him!” Sirius said, and Regulus’s eyes snapped open, “But if everyone thought you were dead.”
Regulus paused. He hadn’t considered that. Up until this moment, it would’ve been impossible to pull off- he couldn’t manage to fake his own death and stay hidden on his own no matter how independent he considered himself to be. But with their help...
“How would you do it?” Regulus asked, “If I just disappear they’ll assume I’ve run, and we don’t have time to find a corpse to pass off like me- not one that would stand up to any sort of testing.”
Sirius’s face falls, and Regulus is briefly regretful. He assumed his brother had come to the same conclusion as him.
“We can figure it out.” Sirius insisted after a moment, “It doesn’t have to be perfect just-”
“Yes it does, Sirius,” Regulus interrupted, “It will have to be convincing- and we don’t have much time. There’s a meeting tonight.”
“A Death Eater meeting?” Potter asked, and Regulus nodded,
“Probably where Pettigrew is off to right now,” He commented mildly,
“He said he was staying at work late,” Lily said, but she didn’t believe it. Regulus could tell.
“That’s not the matter right now.” Sirius said, turning his attention back to Regulus, “What’s your grand idea, then?”
“You’ll have to cut off my arm,” Regulus replied, he’d waited a second before answering to see if the potion would force him to, but felt nothing. The effects must be wearing off by now.
“What- we’re not cutting off your arm!” Sirius cried, Regulus didn’t even stop to listen to his friend’s similar outbursts.
“If you send the arm with the mark on it, that would send the message across quite clearly.” Regulus said, “Speaking of arms- can you untie me now? This is a rather uncomfortable position.”
“No.” Lupin said and at the same time Sirius said, “You can’t just have us cut your arm off!”
“If my options are dying a miserable death, spending the rest of my life in prison, or losing an arm, I know which one I’m choosing,” Regulus said, “This all could’ve been avoided if you’d simply left me to my plan- but now you’ve complicated everything as usual.”
“You planned to die alone in a creepy cave,” Sirius said,
“I planned to bravely sacrifice my life so that Voldemort could be defeated.” Regulus said, “Now instead of a cunning martyr, I’m a coward hiding from Voldemort hogtied to my brother’s bed.”
"It's actually my bed." Remus muttered, and Regulus shot him a sneer,
“Well tough luck- you don’t get to be a martyr,” Sirius said, and he finally went to undo the binding around Regulus’s limbs, muttered charms to unlock them, before pulling at the knots.
In a minute, Regulus was free, but his body was still weak, he couldn’t even sit up.
“It’s too bad I don’t know how to purposefully splinch myself,” Regulus said, “Though I suppose you don’t get to choose which body part gets left behind.”
“We are not amputating your arm,” Potter said,
“If you lot can’t stomach it- I’ll go amputate my own arm.” Regulus shot back, which was probably not as intimidating coming from a pathetic teenager who couldn’t sit up in bed,
“Jesus, there’s two of them now,” Lily muttered, and Regulus had no idea what she meant by that. He hoped she wasn’t implying he was anything like Sirius.
“There’s not another option.” Regulus continued, “They come looking for me if they think I’m captured- probably even more if they think I’ve run. They won’t believe I’m dead unless we do this- and our best opportunity to prove it will be tonight.”
Sirius pursed his lips but made no counterargument- again because Regulus was right.
“Pads.” Lupin said, “He might have a point.”
Regulus might’ve been surprised that Lupin of all people was agreeing with him if he didn’t think deep down the older man just wanted to rip his arm off.
Lily gaped at Lupin, “You can’t be serious-”
“He’s not Sirius.” Regulus found himself saying before he could stop himself, it’d been so long since he was actually in the company of his brother he was falling into old habits.
He ignored Sirius' grin defiantly but whipped his head back in the latter's direction when he said, "Reg is right."
Marlene nodded in agreement but didn’t say a word, just looked at the arm in question uncertainly.
Well, there it was. If Regulus, Lupin, Marlene, and Sirius were on board they already had a majority (though Regulus wasn’t certain his vote counted, it was his arm so it ought to) even if Potter wasn’t on their side, which Regulus suspected he was, Lily was simply outvoted.
“I can’t believe you guys.”
“We’ll have to move quickly if we’re going to make the meeting,” Regulus said, “It’s at three o’clock.”
“At night?” Sirius asked,
“No, in the afternoon- just in time for tea!” Regulus replied, “Yes, at night! It’s a Death Eater meeting!”
“That lot would have a meeting at the witching hour,” Lily huffed, “Just to be dramatic.”
He supposed she had a point there. “You’ll have to put me unconscious.”
“Why?” Sirius asked,
“Firstly because I’d rather not be awake, secondly because if I’m asleep I won’t be able to jerk away subconsciously- and I’d really prefer a clean cut.” Regulus explained, “Besides the more corpse-like I am when you do it, the more convincing.”
Something about his explanation makes Sirius’s face darken, but Regulus can’t put his finger on what.
“What will we need?” Sirius asked him,
“I don’t know,” Regulus replied incredulously, “I’ve never cut off an arm before.”
“Are we doing it with magic?” Lily asked,
“If possible.” Regulus said, “A severing charm might work if a few of you cast it together, and you wouldn’t happen to have a sleep potion in that coat of yours would you, Evans?”
Her face flushed slightly, and he smirked. He’d known she would, brought it along in case whatever prisoner they’d caught turned out to be unruly.
“Perfect.” Regulus said, “The plan’s coming together nicely.”
“You can’t be on the bed.” Lupin said, “We’d never get the blood out of the sheets, and the floor would be sticky for ages.”
“Terribly sorry my blood inconveniences you.” Regulus said, “Where should I go then?”
“The tub?” Marlene suggested, “That would be easy to wash down, right?”
They all nodded in agreement and set off to their respective tasks, it was decided, Marlene, Potter, and Lupin would cast the severing spell, while Lily prepared the potion in a cup of tea (apparently it worked better that way- but Regulus had his doubts) Sirius was not given a job, no matter how much he insisted he ought to be.
“Just stay with Regulus, Pads,” Potter said calmly, “You shouldn't have to- you can’t-”
They don’t want Sirius to have to cut off his arm, he supposed, which made sense, Sirius had never had the stomach for that sort of thing.
He needs help getting to the tub- which he hates. Sirius said nothing as he leaned into him and helped him hobble to the other side of the room where the bathroom was. He gave a small grunt as he lowered Regulus into the tub, but it was still silent.
“You really thought I would take you with me?” Sirius said, the rest of them were scattered throughout the apartment working on their respective projects.
Regulus tensed, he didn’t want to have this conversation, and since the potion had definitely worn off by then, he didn’t have to. He just stared at his older brother.
“I phrased that wrong.” Sirius said after a moment, “You really wanted to come with me?”
“Of course I did.” Regulus said, “All I ever wanted was to go with you.”
Sirius looked at him sadly, and he couldn’t stand it. He had to fill the unbearable silence with something “I begged the hat to sort me into Gryffindor, but apparently wanting to hang out with your big brother isn’t particularly brave.”
“You would’ve made a great Gryffindor,” Sirius whispered,
“I would’ve made a shit Gryffindor.” Regulus said, “I always thought… I thought I might be suited to Hufflepuff.”
“Yeah?” Sirius asked, and Regulus tried to untense his body. He’d never told anyone that before. Who would he tell? The other Slytherin’s looked down on the house, and he’d rarely had any other friends. His parents and cousins would mock him relentlessly, he hadn’t had time to mention it to Sirius before he ran.
“I’d say I’m loyal.” Regulus paused to appreciate the irony of that statement, here he was sitting in a bathtub waiting to have his arm chopped off to hide from a wizard he’d sworn allegiance to.
Sirius seemed to read his thoughts, “You’re loyal to people who deserve it, Reg.”
“I know I would’ve been no good in Gryfindor,” Regulus said, “If I had I would’ve told you myself, instead of prompting you to figure it out from clues. Then I could’ve just asked you take to bring me with you- avoided this whole mess.”
“Hey,” Sirius said, “You were a scared kid- that’s not your fault.”
“I wasn’t a kid,” Regulus said, he was fifteen, he knew exactly what he was doing. He was just stupid enough to expect his brother to piece together his intentions and see through his act.
“You’re still a kid.” Sirius said, snapping him out of that line of thought,
Regulus huffed but didn’t protest- they’d be going back and forth for hours if he did.
“After you were gone…” Regulus said, “It was bad. That’s why I didn’t go to you.”
“I don’t-” Sirius said, confusion painting his face,
“I was worried you might come back for me.” Regulus said, “Gryffindor bravery and all.”
“I would’ve come back to get you.” Sirius insisted, “But I thought- you were always so good. I didn’t think they’d do anything to you, Reg.”
“Sirius, they weren’t cruel to you because you were bad.” Regulus said, “They did those things because they’re awful vindictive people.”
“I know that.” Sirius said, “I’ve been trying to remember that, anyway.”
Regulus nodded sympathetically, it was difficult to unlearn everything you were taught from a young age- easier for Sirius he imagined, with a best friend to guide his way and a resentment formed with his parents at a young age. It had taken Regulus so much longer to see everything wrong- it had taken more for him to realise.
It had taken his almost committing murder out of fear of punishment. He couldn’t dwell on that now.
Lily appeared in the doorway with a cup of steaming tea, it was so normal to take the cup and sip it Regulus almost forgot he was lying in a bathtub with his estranged brother.
“You make a good cup,” Regulus said, after a few sips, “Can barely taste it.”
He stifled the yawn forming in his throat- Merlin, this was fast-acting, “One of you will probably have to take this from me in a minute.”
He could feel his limbs grow heavier, someone lifted the cup from his hands, and he slumped against the cold tile drowsily.
“Is he out yet?” Potter asked, coming up behind Lily,
“Not yet.” She observed, “Another minute I think.”
“I think we’ve got the spell down,” Potter said,
“It’s not too late to talk you all out of this?” Lily asked, “I still think there’s-”
“No… other.” Regulus muttered, it used up the last of his strength to say it, and he’s not even sure he was heard. He isn’t awake long enough to hear a reply if there was one.
He can still feel a little- no pain, thank Merlin. But someone’s holding his hand, the one that’s not getting cut off, and then his arm is a lot lighter- which is an odd feeling.
He’s being lifted, and then he’s set down. He couldn’t tell if it was back on the bed, or if he was put on a floor, he can’t feel the difference. For all, he knows they’d carried him outside and set him on the pavement.
Someone stays with him though, holding his good hand, —can you have a good hand when you only have one?— as the rest of his senses fade away he can still feel his fingers intertwined with theirs.