Chapter Text
Ever since Lena was a child, she had always dreamt big dreams. It started with winning the grade school science fair by the 4th grade, then getting a college-level internship during high school. It continued onto taking a dual degree at MIT and graduating top of her class, to pursuing acting right after graduation and then going on to win an Oscar within her first 5 years in the industry.
But, of all the things Lena could possibly think to dream of in her life, a beautiful and genuinely kind person like Kara Danvers was never on her list. She just never thought it was possible.
And it starts with a mistake.
"It's your turn, Kara," Lena whispers, hoping it’s loud enough to bring Kara out from her seemingly dazed look.
"Sorry, I forgot my line. Again." Sure enough, Kara shakes her head apologetically and clears her throat.
“Cut!” Director Jones yells from his chair. A stage manager rushes in to give Kara a quick glance at the script for the third time in this scene.
Lena likes to consider herself a professional actress, always on top of her game. In fact, she has three pet peeves, and at the top of her list: lousy acting partners. But, for Kara Danvers, she’s willing to make an exception.
From the moment she got out of bed today, to the very last steps she had to take to make her way from her trailer onto the set, Lena had been mentally preparing herself for their eventual meeting. While she had never met her, she knew Kara from acquaintances and her team did assure her that she was an absolute sweetheart, even a bit awkward and quirky at times. All in all, there was nothing too concerning to be warned about besides the fact that she had just gotten out of a messy relationship— but everyone knew that.
Nothing could have ever prepared her, though, for how absolutely beautiful Kara Danvers is in-person.
“I’m sorry. I’m usually great at remembering my lines.” Kara winces as she apologizes and, as the make-up crew comes in and retouches her face, the blonde follows it up with a giggly smile and a cute scrunch of her nose. And Lena— well, she can’t seem to function properly after such an adorable sight.
Lena would love to believe that she's merely harboring a (not-so) tiny crush for her co-star solely because of her stunning performances both on-screen and on-stage, enough to warrant her the highly coveted EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony award-winning) status, along with other prestigious accolades. As if it was so bad to admit that — with those ocean blue eyes, her golden blonde hair, legs for days, and, god, a smile capable of setting off what feels like a thousand little firecrackers in Lena's chest — Kara Danvers is a divinely gorgeous sight to behold. And even though Lena, herself, is a two-time Oscar-winning actress, a graduate of MIT with degrees in Computer Science and Molecular Biology, as well as an ambassador for STEM education in the UK, she is still a closeted lesbian at heart; so forgive her for being a little bit out of sorts today.
“It’s alright. It’s just one of those days.” Lena casually replied. Excusing someone else’s unprofessional behavior? Now that’s new.
“Yeah… one of those days.” Kara smiled, a shyer one this time, and Lena must be imagining the blush that graced Kara’s cheeks because there’s no way she just made Kara Danvers blush… right?
To put everything else into context, the film they were starring in was about Linda Lee, played by Kara — an alien who crash-landed onto earth and was struggling to balance her powers and personal life while being responsible for the safety of the whole of National City and later on, the universe, as Supergirl. Lena vividly remembers the night she received the invitation and script for the casting audition. She honestly thought it had been mistakenly sent to her, that she even had to call her agent late at night to confirm. Admittedly, she was wary of the idea of getting involved in a superhero film, but her agent told her to read it through first, give it a shot — and damn she’s glad she did.
On paper, Lutessa Thorul, aka Lena’s character, and Linda Lee should be enemies — given that they come from two rival, high-society families, even more so since one side is alien and the other, human. Their families had completely opposing ideals and plans for humanity at large that, as Linda and Lutessa soon realize, have put everyone’s lives in danger. Linda and Lutessa’s relationship starts out rocky, but, throughout the rest of the film, they would be seen conquering their mutual enemy separately, learning from their families’ mistakes, learning more about each other, and defying everyone’s expectations as they partner up to save the universe. And in doing so, they not only become best friends but also lovers by the end of the film.
Lena had never imagined herself ever playing a character as bold, magnetizing, and inspiring as Lutessa, but she was more than up for the challenge. She spent many days and nights leading up to the first audition just reading, memorizing, and practicing the script over and over again with Jack, her first (and last) ex-boyfriend and equally gay best friend. It was entirely convenient since he, too, was auditioning for the role of Emil Hamilton, a brilliant doctor, scientist, and Lutessa’s co-worker. Lena poured her heart and soul into sculpting the character, making it her own, and when she officially received the part, it felt like things finally clicked into place for her. She may not have enough courage to publicly express her sexuality yet, but she is really proud to be part of (still) a superhero film that shows the multifacetedness of beings — humans and aliens alike — along with the complexity of family dynamics and relationships.
Right now, they’re filming the opening scene where Linda meets Lutessa for the first time. Naturally, Lena expected some initial awkwardness, having never met Kara anywhere else before filming. It may as well be intentional on Director John Jones’ part, to keep the first encounter as real and fresh as possible. Jones, as he likes to be called, was known for doing such things. But deep down, Lena also selfishly hopes Kara’s initial reactions (aka the past three fumbled takes) and small talk in between takes were more genuine and not just residuals from the character she was being paid to portray.
As the crew finished resetting the scene, Kara schooled her features, putting her game face on — one of a wide-eyed, determined ingenue reporter; eager yet grounded in a way that seems to come quite naturally to Kara. There's just something so endearing about how Kara adjusts her fake pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose as she smiles at the crew around her. It was uncanny and it amazes Lena to see just how perfect Kara seems to be for this role. And a (not-so) tiny part within Lena hopes Kara feels the same way about her— professionally, of course.
“Aaaand, action.” Jones called out and, surprisingly, filming went on seamlessly from then on.
To be fair, Kara was mesmerizing. Every little gesture, every intentionally stuttered word, the curious hesitation in her eyes, all of it was just mesmerizing; Lena can’t seem to find another word for it. They exchanged lines flawlessly, communicated effectively, all the way down to their subtle gestures. Lena should feel proud or, at the very least, relieved at the prospect of going home earlier than expected on the first day of filming, but, all the while, she was hoping for a mistake. It’s silly, Lena knew that, but she’s torn between wanting to get to know more about Kara and wanting to stay blissfully ignorant, because what if she’s not as pleasantly gorgeous off-camera as she is on film?
"I hope this isn't the last time we talk?" So Lena pleads, carefully. She knows it’s just a line, Lutessa’s line, nevertheless, unbeknownst to everyone else on set, Lena truthfully means it.
"I hope not either." Kara gave her a small nod with a shy smile. It’s like she knows.
“Cut!” Jones called out, and right on time at that. "Kara, Lena. Good job ladies, you’re both done for the day. Go home, have a drink or two, not too much though, and please rest. Everyone else, let’s take five before bringing Cat in for her monologue. Great job so far, everyone!”
Kara seems relieved and spent all in one sigh, and Lena can’t help but feel the same. A drink might help, she thinks, and as she was heading to the craft table she, unintentionally, locks eyes with Kara and feels a sort of impending doom as her chest pounds harshly with her every breath. Each determined step Kara takes towards her was pure torture because Lena can’t decipher which personality she’s about to face. She has to admit, it’s rather thrilling than scary, and right then and there, Lena knows that heaven can’t help her now.
“Hey, Lena! I know we just did a scene together, but I wanted to introduce myself again. I know we may not have gotten off to a great start there, I’m not usually a bumbling idiot who forgets half her lines—”
“Don’t be silly!” Kara seemed like she had more to say, or ramble, but Lena felt the need to cut her off before Kara could turn it into a self-deprecating monologue. “It’s quite alright. Like I said, today may be just one of those days.”
And Lena can't be imagining it anymore, that is definitely a blush on Kara's cheeks, this time though it came with a confused scrunch of her brows that is just impossibly adorable. God, where is that drink when you need one.
With that, Lena turns to the long foldable plastic table adorned with a banquet-style layout of a wide variety of food and drinks. There wasn't any alcohol, of course, what did she even expect? She has to get something though, otherwise, she'll look so foolish gawking at the open table of food. So, picking up a plate, she rushes over to the stack of glazed doughnuts, though she doesn't miss the way Kara scrambled to catch up to her as she grabbed a plate as well, filling it with all sorts of snacks.
“Yes, see, you’ve said that but I really don’t know what you mean,” Kara said in-between shoving potstickers into her mouth. Lena knows she should be disgusted at the sight, but she can’t be, not when Kara still looked unfairly cute.
“Don’t you have those days where your brain just malfunctions? Days when you just get impossibly overwhelmed or reasonably distracted? You know, those days.”
“Yeah… like when you meet and get to act with someone so stunningly beautiful on set for the first time, you’re not even sure they’re entirely real?”
It was smooth, Lena will give her that. So smooth that Kara did not once break eye contact and it left her genuinely stunned. Lena felt her cheeks heat up wildly, as she ducked her head down, trying to suppress a traitorous smile. If it came from anyone else, she’s 1000% sure she would be repulsed by it. But coming from Kara, it just spurs her mind into concocting the beginnings of a tempting fantasy.
“Exactly! Yes.” Lena nods as she gulps down a bite of her doughnut quite harshly. Then, hoping she hasn’t misread anything, she gathers every ounce of courage in a heavy inhale before whispering, “so… I understand why you messed up your lines, it’s pretty much the same reason why I keep staring at your eyes.”
“Oh… really?” Kara visibly fidgets under her stare as the pink shade on her cheeks seems to darken. Jackpot.
“Yeah… and your smile. They’re both distractingly pretty.”
"And here I thought you were just such a good actor. You know, embodying the role and all that."
" Excuse me, I am a great actor. That's precisely why I still remembered my lines, unlike you…" Lena smirks back, to which Kara breaks into a flirty yet boisterous laugh, and oh — Lena quickly files the sound in her mind as yet another Kara thing that unexpectedly gives her butterflies.
“Touché. By the way, I never got to actually re-introduce myself.” Kara practically breathed out as her laugh tempers down.
“Oh well, by all means…” Lena says cooly, as if unaffected by every move, every word, every sound Kara Danvers makes in her presence.
“Hi! I’m Kara Danvers and I’m excited to be working with you. I may be even a tad too excited and I am definitely in awe of you. I’ve never been this flustered around anyone I’ve worked with before but who can blame me for having a crush on you? Anyways, I’m rambling again, I’m sorry. I will do a better job tomorrow. I promise.” Kara ends her re-introduction with an outstretched hand and an awfully charming smile.
Before Lena could even begin to overthink, she sets down her plate, dusts off her hand to shake Kara’s in return. “It’s nice to meet you again, Kara Danvers. I’m Lena Luthor, and, as I’ve mentioned, the feeling is mutual. I really do hope you’ll do better tomorrow because I’d really like to keep working with you.”
She feels like such a giddy schoolgirl right now, having just learned that her crush has a crush on her too. Her head is spinning, actually. It’s not like this was the first time; she has felt attraction towards other women fairly quickly before. With a little alcohol courage, she’s able to turn that attraction into flirty banter by the bar, and at most, a one-night stand. But this, with Kara, it’s different. It’s more subtle, more stealthy, but it’s spirited, electrifying, and Lena felt it from the very first moment they met.
She has never felt this strongly for someone, never had it creep up on her this fast, and with what little info she has learned about Kara from the few hours they’ve spent filming, she honestly does not know where to go from here. So, for now, she’ll just go with the flow, which has never been much of her thing but, with all things considered, this is just a crush. It’s a mutual attraction, sure, but it’s nothing serious; what’s the worst that could happen?
“Is there any chance you would like to go get a drink with me?”
Right. That could happen. Lena tenses at the question, right on cue. If Lena were to base her decision on nothing else in her life except what she wants, of course, there’s a chance— a hundred percent chance, if she’s being completely honest. But it’s not that simple, she has to consider everything else.
On the other hand, it’s just an offer for a drink, it doesn’t have to go anywhere else, Lena tries to convince herself, even though she knows herself way too well.
“Is that wise? Shouldn’t we be resting?”
“We’re both adults. I’m sure we can be responsible. I know it’s 12am already, but we can rest after, we don’t need to be on set for hair and make-up until 1 pm anyway.” Kara quips with yet another sinful smile, which Lena finds harder to resist by the minute.
It’s a harmless offer anyway; just two co-workers having an after-work drink. No big deal.
“But seriously, no pressure, of course. I just want to get to know you a bit more, especially since we’ll be working with each other most of the time.”
“Hopefully.” Lena can’t help but tease.
“Ha! Yes, hopefully. And we don’t have to drink if you prefer not to. We can just go to a cafe or a diner. I’m sure there’s still one open at 12 am. Or we can just schedule it for another time. It’s your call, really. I don’t mind, as long as I get to spend time with you.”
Lena’s heart stutters at that. Of course, Kara Danvers would be sweet and considerate. Each word, though, comes with an adorable pleading look that strips away Lena’s willpower to decline. So, what else can she do?
"Well… I am starving. I could eat some late-night breakfast." Lena gives in. She’s only human after all.
Through Kara’s expert instructions, Jerry, Lena’s town car driver took them to an area on the outskirts of the city, near the border of the next town over. Kara brought her to Rodic's Diner — a mom-and-pop establishment that serves a variety of breakfast meals all day, every day, and comes highly recommended (by Kara, of course). The place is charming, definitely has an 80’s vibe to it, and is almost completely deserted at this hour; which is perfect.
While Lena can’t refute that the quality of the food was better than she expected, she’s more amused by how easy it feels to be with Kara. They chatted away about everything and nothing, but not once did Lena find their conversation draggy or drab. She discovered Kara drives her own car. She lives in the city for work but prefers the calmer countryside. She loves animals. She hates tuna but will literally eat any other food offered to her. She was adopted too, in the middle of her teenage years, but it’s not really public knowledge. And she has an adoptive sister, Alex, who she considers her best friend in the whole wide world. Which— it’s just, adorable.
It was a little too late when they realized that the coffee they drank was a mistake. When Lena caught a glimpse of her phone, it was nearly 2 am and neither of them felt sleepy or tired anymore. Before Lena could even think to call it a night, Kara invites her up to her place and Lena knows it's way too late for her to say no when Kara all but drags her out of the diner by the hand.
Lena becomes hyper-aware, bordering on paranoia, of the eyes that may or may not be looking at them as they exit the diner. In an entirely different way, it's definitely too late for Lena because, now, she knows how Kara's hand feels in hers and she's not sure if she's willing to let go any time soon. So, right now, hiding in one of their apartments seems to be the best option.
It was a short ride back to Kara's. At the back of Lena’s town car, they sat closer than before, their hands still entwined. Up the elevator, down the hall, even as she opens up the door to her place, Kara never drops their entangled hands, and not one bone in Lena's body dared to break free. And, well, why should she? She doesn’t want to let go, not when it feels right. Not when she’s having such a great time with a wonderful girl she likes so much that she's not ready for this to end just yet. But before Lena could even think of how to tell Kara exactly that, Kara beats her to it, in the most pleasantly unexpected way.
Warm lips meet her own and Lena suddenly forgets what words are. She forgets why she thought she needed them in the first place when they could just be doing this, and continue it to whatever it can be. Lips meeting chastely quickly turn into mouths unfolding, slotting perfectly, letting each other in. Tongues tasting each other's lips with tiny caresses and flicks, turn into deepening kisses, breathing in each other's moans and breathy sighs until they both run out of air to give.
And as if her reciprocity wasn't enough to convey what Lena had been dying to say since Kara stole a piece of bacon from her own plate at that diner, Kara interrupts the moment just so she could say:
“I like you.”
Lena should be mad — frustrated, at the very least, at the interruption of their make-out session all so Kara could say something that seems completely obvious and can be discussed further later — but she isn't. She can't possibly be mad, not when she had just been kissed like she had been wishing to be kissed for a long time. No one has ever kissed her as vibrantly as Kara has, and Lena finds herself wanting more of it for as long as she could be allowed to have it.
But no, no, no, oh god, no. She can't want it that bad — not now, not when she's in the middle of filming, not with her co-star, not with a girl. Her family is gonna kill her.
Despite her internal mini-meltdown, Lena reciprocates all the same, whispering, "I like you, too,”
It was basically a ‘screw it’ to all the possible consequences that would usually hold her back from doing something so spontaneously fun because, for the first time in what seems like forever, she finally allowed herself to feel everything — all the giddiness, the anxiety, the excitement, the uncertainty — and it feels great.
So, emboldened by her newfound conviction, Lena dives back in for a second time. It was smoother, lips meeting in a more heated manner, tongues clashing haphazardly. But as their hands become more insistent, impatiently shedding the clothes they have on, it was starting to feel much too real, like it was too much too fast. Her hesitation must have slowed her hands, quickened her breathing, because all of the sudden Kara stopped them from moving any further, interrupting for the second time this evening.
“Are you sure you want to do this? We don’t have to… I’m fine with whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“Yes… I’m sure. I want this.” Despite her initial hesitation, Lena doesn’t want to stop now. Not when she felt so good, drunk on Kara’s lips, Kara’s eyes, Kara’s touch, her sweet concern, her warm reassurance — everything Kara.
“Okay, good. Because I do too.” With that settled, they fumble towards Kara’s bed, getting as naked as they both can be, quickly discovering how they can do more than just touch.
Kara took the reins first as she straddled Lena’s waist, caressing every new expanse of Lena’s skin her hands could reach, learning her sensitive spots. Fingers and limbs bend to each other’s will as their mouths nip and kiss wherever they please. And with each stroke, each lick, each bite that Kara delivers, has Lena teetering at the precipice for so long that she feels like her whole body could combust any second now.
Lena does her best to suppress every embarrassing whimper and moan that Kara seems to coax so easily out of her. She reaches a point where she feels the need to smother her own mouth with her hand, but just as she does, Kara moves up her body and removes Lena’s hand, insisten when she says, “ don’t, I want to hear you, how good you sound for me,” and Lena just knows she won’t last any longer. Kara quickens the pace of her hands, her tongue, her mouth — all driving Lena insane that she comes apart not too long after, riding waves so strong that everything went white for a good minute.
As soon as Lena came to, and was no longer gasping for breaths, she took her rightful turn.
Lena flipped them over. Mounting herself on Kara's thigh, riding it ever so slowly while she lets Kara use hers too. It was hard to miss the jaw-slacked way Kara was looking at her right now and she didn’t know whether to be conscious or smug at the attention. But once she felt Kara suddenly tense underneath her, she knew it should be the latter. Kara was so close already and so was she, so she spurred on— harder, faster. Lena heard her own moans getting throatier, hitting an octave she didn’t know was possible and she couldn’t care less because it wasn’t long before she finally reduced Kara into a panting mess underneath her. All the while, Lena managed to achieve a second high as well.
They went again, and again, and it wasn’t until dawn finally crept in fully with the sun greeting them in magnificent pinkish-orange shades, that they finally allowed their exhaustion to wash over them, tucked and tangled in-between sheets, completely sated.
It was a little bit after 9 am when Lena woke up again. She doesn’t remember what time they really fell asleep, but if she were to hazard a guess, it wasn’t until a few hours ago— definitely not enough for a full night of sleep at least.
Lena has always been like this. Whenever she wakes up earlier than she intends to, it’s usually because of the many thoughts and questions inside her head. For the first time in the longest time, she finds herself hoping for more, wishing that what happened could be more than just one spur-of-the-moment, yet lovely night; It was so unlike her. But before she can even begin to process through that thought, Kara stirs beside her.
“Hey there, sleepyhead,” Lena murmurs as she shifts back onto her side, facing Kara.
“Mmm… hi. You’re awake early. C’mere, get some more sleep with me.” Kara reaches out for her sweetly.
“Can’t. I’ve been thinking…” Lena trails off, mindlessly tucking in a stray wisp of hair behind Kara’s ear, almost in a meditative trance.
“Yeah? What’s up in that pretty mind of yours.”
“I’m just— I’m not sure where to go from here. I know I like you—”
“I like you too, Lena.”
“I know that, darling. The thing is, I’ve never been in a serious relationship.”
"Ever?”
“Ever.”
“Oh. I see,” Kara mumbles. Lena can see the hesitation in Kara’s downcast eyes, trying to figure out her next words. “Well, I’m the opposite; I’ve done the serious stuff. Actually, I just got out of a long-term relationship through a messy break-up.”
And, for the first time in her life, Lena truly doesn’t know what to say. Saying I know how it feels, would be a complete lie. It will get better, may be true but it just sounds too trite, and besides, she’s in no way qualified to give moving-on-from-a-break-up advice. So the best she could come up with was, “Yeah, I've heard. I’m sorry about that.”
“No, don’t be. It's fine, it's been a long time coming. But here’s the thing… like I said, I like you, Lena. Last night — well, this early morning, really — was amazing. I want to keep doing this but, honestly, I'm not ready for a serious relationship right now.”
“Wait, so… what are you saying? What do you want us to be?”
“I— I’m not sure. Maybe we can just be friends for now?”
“Friends?”
“Well, friends who have sex from time to time.”
And oh. Right. That’s a thing.
It shouldn’t surprise Lena, she has done this before. But just when she was considering trying to take a romantic relationship seriously for the first time in her life, funnily enough, life decided to throw this her way. Great.
Kara seems to have sensed the shift in their mood as she scrambles for something to say. “I’m sorry, Lena. We probably should’ve talked about it before we did, well, this. I’d understand if you don’t do the casual, friends with benefits thing, or if you don’t want to do it with me. If so, it’s fine, this can just be a one-time thing for us, no hard feelings."
"No, no! It’s fine. I'm not ready for a serious one either." Lena lies. She can't help it — they say the heart wants what it wants but Lena wasn’t even entirely sure why she blurted it out. “But I don’t think just one time with you will ever be enough for me.”
“So you want more of this, huh?” Kara smirks as she trails her fingertips up and down Lena’s spine.
As for Lena, the ever-professional actor, it doesn’t faze her in the slightest when she willingly puts on a defensive performance — acting as the nonchalant lover when she’s already one step too far into an emotional territory she shouldn’t be in, having feelings she shouldn’t be having.
Instead, she justifies it as best she can, thinking that this is better than nothing at all with Kara. “Well, the sex was great. Can you blame me?”
“Not at all.” Kara closes in, their bare bodies meeting once again and the heat that hasn’t really fully subsided between them rises back up. “I feel the same way.”
But as Kara surged forward, their lips meeting in a feverish kiss once more, all Lena could think of was no, darling, you don’t. And for now, that’s okay.
It has to be.