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There was something about Judge Harry T. Stone that drove Dan Fielding absolutely crazy, in more ways than one.
Harry and Dan were polar opposites. Harry was a kind, compassionate man who voted Democrat, loved magic tricks, and had the largest crush on Mel Tormé that Dan had ever seen. Dan was admittedly a bit of a sleazeball, a Republican attorney whose job it was to send people to jail no matter what. Harry often called Dan out on this, as did the rest of their colleagues; and Dan could be cold toward the people he spent his nights with. Both men seemed like the universe had borne them to be adversaries, polar opposites in the fight for humanity and justice.
But there were times when they shared tender, quiet moments when no one was looking. And, admittedly, they had a few things in common. Harry could be moody, and take his anger out on people even when they didn't deserve it; Dan, try as he might to appear as though he didn't give a shit about anyone but him, still sometimes let a little compassion slip through when it came to his fr- colleagues. Colleagues.
Sometimes it drove Dan up the wall knowing that Harry was right, and that Dan WAS an asshole and that's why nobody liked him; and sometimes Dan angered Harry so much that the lanky blonde would abandon Dan when he needed Harry most. And of course there were the fights over women, and who would get to spend time with a particularly beautiful one, and who really deserved the attention of one Christine Sullivan. While Harry seemed to have actual feelings for her, and Dan found her precocious and annoying, she was still an attractive woman, and Dan Fielding was nothing if not a man dedicated to his pursuits. And his pursuits happened to include banging everyone he found attractive in a 2 mile radius.
And by god, Harry's pranks were awful, too. Dan held particular disdain for the time Harry managed to get a giant 8 ball to terrorize Dan through the halls of the courthouse while in a prank war with another judge. Harry's pranks interrupted their work, and took up time that Dan could have spent in bed with someone else. But he couldn't help but silently admit to himself that... He wouldn't want it any other way.
Which was why, when Harry had decided to stop being a judge, Dan had been the one to talk some sense into Harry to get the blonde to return. Every word Dan said was the truth, up to and including when he had told Harry he admired him. The years went on and the two of them grew closer in the shadows, and Dan found Harry's arms wrapped around him more than once, including when Dan had somehow returned alive after nearly dying in the Reserves. There was always this friendly, even brotherly love to it, and Harry and Dan had both admitted how much they had missed each other. Because the truth was, even when Harry was driving Dan crazy, Dan didn't ever want to lose him.
And now, Dan was scared that he was going to lose Harry. Harry was driving him crazier and crazier every day. It was in the way the lanky blonde would lean against nearly every doorframe it seemed he could find when he wanted to be a fly on the wall, then somehow effortlessly stand and saunter over to whoever it was that was about to receive one of Harry's lectures. It was in the way they both made mistakes, but somehow got out of it together, like the time they both ended up out on the window ledge after trying to get laid at the same time in Harry's office. That was a moment it was always so hard for Dan to forget about. But he kept fighting to keep Harry nearby, even looking away from Harry's semi-nude form to keep the blonde from being uncomfortable. Because as long as Dan wanted to gaze at Harry, he knew he wanted to keep Harry in his life even more.
Dan wasn't gay, no; on the contrary, he'd only ever had sex with women, and before he'd met Harry T. Stone, he'd never once doubted that he was a voraciously heterosexual man, if he was a little foppish at times. But Harry made Dan question everything he thought he knew, about the world around him, about deep, philosophical truths, and about himself. It had taken years for Dan to realize the way that Harry made him craziest: Harry was someone that Dan loved.
Lovers weren't a new phenomenon for either of them. The parade of women that Dan led through the courthouse was proof of that, and Harry had had his escapades, including with Christine. And Dan knew from watching that Christine was Harry's biggest desire. He'd seen it in the kisses he'd spotted from around the corner, the way Harry was tender with Christine in a way he was with no one else. He knew he had no right to be jealous of her, but he wanted that to be HIM with Harry. He wanted Harry to be kissing him, and caressing him, and... this took the concept from lover to lover, and there was something that Dan desired so much more from Harry than from any of the women he'd had sex with over the years.
The truth was that Harry T. Stone drove Dan Fielding crazy because Harry was the only man who had ever properly shown Dan that Dan was worth love.
And Dan couldn't compromise what time he had with Harry.
It drove him crazy. He wasn't sure he could handle much more of the desire with no payoff, handle the pain of watching Harry belong to someone other than him.
Another long shift had been finished and all their colleagues had filed out when Dan was left in Harry's office alone. Mac had gone home to Quon Lee, Roz and Christine had gone out for a girls' night, and Bull had... Gone God knows where. Dan waited till he had thought everyone had left, including Harry, to say his goodbyes to the courthouse, the one place he truly felt at home. He wasn't sure where he was going from here, but he was thinking of leaving New York, without a word to the others. Maybe he could fabricate some story of how a jealous ex was coming after him and he wanted to leave for his own safety.
He strolled around Harry's office once more, letting his fingers trace over the desk, memories flooding through him. There was the time that Bull turned Dan into a human pretzel, when Dan had been ordered by Harry to keep an eye on Bull. There were all the times they met in this room, including the night the auditor came, and they'd told all their stories of how bizarre the night shift could be, only to be held up by a clown that sounded suspiciously like the gay man that had hit on Dan years before when they had all been trapped in a blizzard. There was that night, the night that Dan had been given a taste of what he'd been missing, only to have to look away so as not to lose it.
He continued to look around, at the couch, the window they'd both hung out of before, finally turning to look at the framed picture of Mel Tormé. He couldn't help but let himself laugh a little about the night he'd held Mel Tormé hostage to meet Harry. It hadn't really worked out, because nothing in their lives ever seemed to, but it was one of the first things he could remember really doing to please Harry. Of course, it had been to make up for destroying Harry's record collection, but... Dan would have never gone to that length had he not cared about Harry so much.
Dan turned to leave just to see Harry in the doorway, leaning against it in the way that made Dan crazy, and he couldn't help but to gulp. "Harry."
"Dan?" Harry pushed himself up off the doorframe effortlessly, striding over to Dan without even a wrinkle of effort showing in his tweed jacket, nor a movement of the hat on his blonde head until Harry lifted a hand to pull it off and set it on the couch. "What's going on, Dan? Everyone's already gone for the evening. I just came back because I forgot my keys."
It took a moment for Dan to clear his throat and speak. "Uh, ah, Harry, yes, hello. I was just, uh. Looking for where to set my resignation letter."
"Resignation letter?!" Harry's voice was incredulous. "Dan, what's going on? You'd never just resign without a word, or at least some good, old-fashioned ass-kissing for a better position."
"No, Harry, uh, you see, I have this jealous ex-lover that's been stalking me, and I'm looking at fleeing the country, try to get awa-"
"Cut the crap, Fielding." It was jarring to Dan to hear Harry be so blunt, and he froze closing his mouth, as Harry reached to put a hand on Dan's shoulder. "Dan, what's REALLY going on?"
Dan swallowed, still and silent, until he felt Harry pushing him toward the couch, and he let the blonde, sitting down to keep his knees from collapsing.
The room was silent, still, almost too much so, until Dan could no longer stand it and he spoke. "I want to leave New York," Dan's voice wavered.
"Why, Dan?" Harry's voice was confused. "You love your job, you love being in the city... What's changed?"
Dan hesitated, trying to find the right answer. "I have, Harry."
"I don't get it, Dan. What are you going to get outside of New York that you don't have here?"
"Damnit, Harry, I get to get away from you!"
Dan's eyes met Harry's only to see the shock in the blonde's. There was a silence between them, hurt and confusion passing over Harry's face. "Well, Dan, if that's how you feel... I guess I have no choice but to let you go." Harry's own wavering voice broke the silence.
"Fine." Dan's voice was harsh, and he felt his face turn red in shame and anger as he watched a similar expression of anger appear on Harry's face.
"No, Dan, you don't get to be angry at me. This is what you want, right?"
More silence.
"What do you want, Dan?"
"...You."
More silence. More shock and confusion on Harry's face. "But... You're..."
"I... Not when it comes to you. Harry, I... I didn't want to lose you for something that I couldn't control, so... I wanted to let go on my own. You know the old saying."
"What's that, Dan?"
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't..."
"Dan, why didn't you ever tell me?"
"What on earth was I supposed to say, Harry? I'm the straightest man in the universe until it comes to my boss, and then I'm either going to get fired or make him hate me, or both! Besides, I know you're in love with Christine, and who could I be to take that from you?!"
"Dan, I love Christine, yes, but... There's never going to be more between us than what's already there. It's never going to be a lifelong partnership, and you wouldn't be taking that away. I'm a grown man who can make my own decisions, you know." The scolding came, and Dan swallowed.
"Yeah. I know. And I also know that you're just as straight as I am. I've never seen you so much as bat an eye at another man besides Mel Tormé, and even then, that's more of a celebrity thing than anything."
"Hey, don't you slander Mel Tormé like that in his presence." Harry nodded toward the framed picture, clearly trying to ease some of the tension as he stood and moved to close the door and the window blinds, then to turn the picture face down.
"Harry, what are you-" Dan stood, questioning the judge's actions before Harry's lips were being pressed against his. Dan felt himself go week in the knees, his heart pounding as the kiss broke. "Harry, I-"
"Dan, stop talking for a second." Dan obeyed, Harry the only authority he ever obeyed this fast. "Dan, I... If this is what you really want, well... You have to know, I've had feelings for you for a long, long time."
"You have?"
"I have." Harry's hands came to rest on Dan's shoulders again. "Dan, I've never acted on anything because you're straighter than Casanova, and I never wanted to leverage my position as a judge against you. But I've known from the moment you convinced me to return to court that I was doing it because of you. You may not be the kindest, most virtuous man in the world, Dan Fielding, but God knows you mean the world to me. And... If this is what you want, I want it too."
Dan couldn't even speak, for the lump in his throat was all that was helping him hold back tears as he nodded. Harry's lips pressed against his again, and Dan went weak in the knees once more. He felt himself kneeling as he broke the kiss with Harry, fumbling with Harry's belt.
"Dan?"
"Harry, I've... I've wanted to do this since that night. On the ledge." He looked up at Harry, gazing at the blonde. "There's the chance this ruins both our careers, but... You mean more to me than any promotion, Harry, and it took me far too long to realize that."
There was a moment of hesitation before Harry nodded. "I don't want to turn back, Dan. I want you more than anything, now, too."
Dan gave Harry the most heartfelt smile he'd ever smiled as he continued fumbling with Harry's pants. It felt like an eternity before he managed to get Harry's pants and underwear down, and Dan couldn't help but gaze for a moment at Harry's half-hard cock. Finally, he was getting more than a glance. Harry's cock wasn't huge, but it was still perfect; it was about 6 inches long and not very thick, but Dan had never seen one more beautiful, not even his own.
Dan didn't hesitate after getting his visual fill to take Harry's cock in his mouth, tasting the saltiness of Harry's skin. While Dan had never been with a man before, he had MORE than his fair share of experience with sex toys, and had more than once practiced sucking dick while fantasizing about Harry. He couldn't help but moan about the hardness in his pants while he sucked Harry to full hardness, deep-throating the blonde and burying his nose in the light curls of hair at the base of Harry's cock. Dan palmed himself through his trousers for some relief, while Harry's hands threaded themselves through Dan's hair, a moan escaping the judge.
"D-Dan, I'm going to-" Harry warned Dan as he got close, and Dan regretted having to pull off Harry and leave him hanging. "Not yet, Harry, I..."
Harry nodded in seeming understanding and began to undress the rest of the way, while Dan quickly undressed himself, wrapping a hand around his aching cock. Dan's cock was shorter than Harry's, but much thicker. When they were both undressed, Dan let himself gaze at Harry's lanky body, skinny but not weak, and he couldn't help the lusty sigh that escaped him. "God, Harry, you're perfect."
Harry's own eyed trailed appreciatively over Dan's much stockier body; Dan was well-built, not fat, but solid, and it was clear from the look in the judge's eyes that he liked that. "I could say the same about you, Dan."
Dan pressed himself up against Harry in a kiss, both men groaning as their bodies pressed against each other. When the long kiss broke, Harry was the one to gulp this time. "Dan, I don't know how to do this-"
Dan cut him off with a kiss. "I do. I've... Had some practice."
"You've-"
Dan shook his head. "Toys, Harry. So you'll... You'll be the top, okay?"
Harry nodded hesitantly, and Dan reached for his briefcase to grab condoms and lube. Harry couldn't help but laugh. "Always prepared, aren'tcha, Dan?"
"God, man, do you even know me?" Dan wasn't in the mood for jokes, as he opened the condom packet and made his way back over to Harry. He rolled the condom on Harry's cock and Harry moaned, still highly sensitive from Dan sucking his cock.
"Dan, how do I-"
Dan kissed him again, opening the lube and spreading some on Harry's cock before taking the rest and squirting it in Harry's hand. "Use your-your fingers..."
Dan moved to lay on the couch, making room as best as he could for the judge; the full body of another man took much more space than a dildo, and Dan had no idea how to navigate being on the bottom with a full body on top of him. But Harry had quickly followed and was now teasing Dan's asshole open with his fingers, causing Dan to moan even louder, whimpering here and there.
"N-now, Harry," Dan spoke when he was ready, and the judge nodded, positioning himself over Dan. He lifted Dan's legs to give him room before he pushed inside the attorney, both men crying out in desperation.
"Y-y-you good, Dan?" Harry asked once he had bottomed out inside of Dan, and Dan nodded.
"Please, please, move," the attorney begged. Harry nodded and did as he was told, thrusting into Dan slowly and rhythmically at first, then more and more erratically as both men neared their quick climaxes. It didn't take long; years of desire between them had made their lovemaking desperate and needy, and Dan came first, untouched, before Harry was filling the condom while kissing him seconds after. The air in the room became heavy and humid, filled with the scent of sweat and sex as Harry pulled out of Dan, just barely aware enough to remove and tie off the condom, standing and disposing of it as discreetly as he could between some papers in the can.
Dan sat up on the couch, waiting as Harry did so, fucked out and sore, but feeling fulfilled. As Harry returned to the couch, Dan patted the seat next to him. Harry sat beside him, sighing softly and wrapping an arm around Dan in a gesture that, once friendly, was now... almost protective? Dan felt Harry lean over to kiss his cheek and the attorney sighed, melting against the judge contentedly.
The room was still hot and heavy with their essences in the silence as neither man spoke, both of them focused on just breathing in unison. It was quiet for a good ten minutes, other than the sounds of their heavy breaths, when Harry spoke first.
"Dan..."
Dan's heart sank. He knew there just had to be a "but" coming. An "I love you, but we can't do this again" or a "That was fun, but I think it was a mistake."
No such statement came from Harry. "Dan, I love you."
"But?"
Harry's confusion showed on his face. "But what?"
"There's always a 'but'."
"Not this time, Dan. I just wanted to tell you I love you."
"I love you too, Harry."
Now it was Harry's turn to doubt. "But?"
Dan was silent. How did he say this? He didn't want to lose Harry now. The feeling was even stronger than it had been before he had stepped in to hand in his resignation letter tonight. After a moment, he spoke. "But I get if you think this will ruin our careers and lives and don't want this."
"Dan, I never said that." Harry's compassionate, lecture-y voice was back, but... No lecture came. Just a simple "I want you to stay."
"You do?" Dan asked, watching the blonde nod.
"I do."
Dan nodded in response, letting himself rest his head in the crook of Harry's heck as Harry held him. He felt Harry kiss the top of his head, and he sighed. "Guess we should go home, before fall asleep and we're found here by the others."
"Guess so." Harry sighed and pulled his arm from around Dan to stand, fetching both of their clothes. He passed Dan's clothes to Dan, and both men dressed quietly, just letting it sink in that they'd just had sex and told each other they love each other. It was one of those steps they could never take back, but neither wanted to.
When they were both dressed, both of them tried to speak at once, their words getting jumbled. "You first," Harry said, always the mediator.
"I, uh, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Harry," Dan said softly, unsurely, and Harry shook his head. "Um, what were you going to say?"
"Come home with me tonight." Harry gazed into Dan's eyes, sincere as ever, and Dan felt his heart melt.
"Of course."
The two men kissed once more before leaving the room, Harry turning the lights off.
A moment later, Harry stepped back into the room to grab the trash bag, tying it off to take out to the dumpster himself. No way did Art need to know that he and Dan were this close. Not yet.
Outdoors, Dan was waiting for him. Harry wrapped an arm around Dan and led him to his car, kissing him on the cheek before holding the door open for him. "C'mon, Dan."
Dan nodded and got in, waiting till Harry closed the door and got in the car to kiss the blonde once more.
Harry grinned and spoke. "Let's go home."