Chapter Text
“Do you know why you’re here, Xianle?”
What a question to be asked. The question he’d asked himself countless times over the past month or two... If that is how long it’s been. He couldn’t tell anymore.
“Come on. you can nod yes or no. There’s no use being stubborn about it; the only one you can blame is yourself. Now, do you know why you’re here?”
He stared coldly at the wall. A choking pressure was beginning to build in his chest under the heavy gaze of his caretaker.
Or captor.
Same difference. He didn’t want to look at him and his infuriating calm face. Always plastered with a soft, supercilious smile as if he knew exactly what Xie Lian was thinking at any moment.
For a week or two, he could have sworn it was true. It wouldn’t be the first time Jun Wu pulled off some kind of otherworldly feat to trip him up. As if he was only here to serve as a plaything, entertainment, instead of something to be cherished, as was sweetly murmured to him during times he broke.
“You threw a toy, remember? Xianle. that wasn’t nice.” He tapped the part of his forearm where a small scratch lay just below the cuff of his rolled-up dress shirt sleeve. “That hurt me.”
Xie Lian shuffled in the tiny plastic seat and cast his gaze down to pick at the pilled fuzz on his sweatpants. He needed to breathe, to keep himself centered, something he was struggling with ever since coming here. The firm grip he once had over his emotions had vanished, crumbled to dust, leaving them a raging river. Untamable and freely flowing.
Jun Wu’s large, crouching shadow loomed over him. “Are you sorry now that you’ve had time to think this over?”
No, not really… well.. Maybe a little bit. Ah! He didn’t know anymore!
The pressure in his chest grew tight, threatening to suffocate him. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to apologize; it was the one thing keeping him from being stuck in the corner mentally picking over his life. There was just a crushing stubbornness keeping him from doing anything but avert his gaze. Like the air had become thick cement. He wanted to leave this uncomfortable chair on his own terms, he wanted to be left alone, he wanted —
Xie Lian must have been lost in thought too long because Jun Wu stood back up from his kneeling position and sighed.
“If you aren’t ready to apologize and behave, then you can sit here and think it over for ten more minutes.”
T-ten?? It was normally only five more minutes! And never mind that, he didn’t want to be trapped here a second longer! He ran himself into a circle now. If he had to sit longer, Jun Wu would only come back to ask the same questions, and if he still couldn’t bring himself to answer again, he feared a much worse punishment than a simple time-out.
Jun Wu already began to walk away when Xie Lian whipped his head up to stare wide-eyed at the man.
“NO!” A sound resembling the squeak of a mouse fell from his lips as he scramble to turn around on his seat, kicking, and almost tipping backward off of it. He couldn’t; he really couldn’t be here any longer. His legs were going numb against the cool, hard plastic, and his mind was melting from boredom. He’s already tried sneaking away off of the cursed, bright blue object, but he was dragged back each time.
The tightness in his chest started turning to panic, vibrating against his ribcage and sending his mind into a frenzy.
“Xianle, sit properly in your chair, or I’ll make it fifteen minutes.”
The panic rose to his throat like a hand strangling him. Fifteen minutes might as well be fifteen years, and his key to escaping was about to turn into the kitchen and ignore him.
Ah. This again. Great, fucking great. He couldn’t hold back any longer. Tears dripped down his cheeks, and he scrubbed at them madly.
Jun Wu sighed once again and padded back over. Xie Lian flinched away, still trying to dry his face desperately as if the more he wiped, the more he could also rid himself of his unstable emotions. Ultimately, he failed at both and was effortlessly scooped up and pressed against the tall man’s chest.
“I think we need an early nap today, hm?”
Xie Lian weakly beat Jun Wu’s chest with a small chubby fist. Maybe if he had held it together and apologized. Maybe if he didn’t throw the heaviest toy he could find. Maybe –
No.
Maybe if this man he thought he knew didn’t turn out to be some sort of monster. Maybe if his life didn’t decide to take a sharp left turn into this nightmare. Obsessively watched over, rendered useless, coddled, and cooed over as long as he behaved.
This was his life now. His frustrating existence. The unfortunate victim of being chosen as the child of a god.