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To be the Pirate King. Luffy felt as though he was born with the dream thrashing around inside his heart already. It had always been there, a comforting presence in the void that was his first few years of life. Yes, Luffy also felt as though he’d come into existence at 5 years old. Not that the boy put much effort into thinking deeply about these things. Anytime he did, Ace and Sabo were there, conjuring up another future adventure, vowing to be free, truly free.
On quaint nights like these, nothing that crossed Luffy’s mind stayed for long.
“Luffy, how ‘bout it then, what do you think is the most important in a pirate crew?”
“Sabo, stop fishing for his black hole of a stomach to back you up. How could it not be the captain?” Ace pulled Luffy toward him, as if protecting him from the traitorous attempt to gain his vote.
“Yeah, and who would starve without a cook? The captain!” His other brother retaliates with his own iron grip, pulling the giggling boy back and forth between them.
“Well?!” They gaze down at him.
“I think a Musician is the most important.”
“Luffy!”
“How could you betray me?”
“But if you guys were on the ship there wouldn’t be any contest!” Luffy only laughs harder as they both deflate. He’s smothered in a hug by his blond brother, Ace grumbling a halfhearted retort under his breath.
“Don’t say something so embarrassing out of the blue like that.” The black haired boy is facing away from them, ears pink.
Luffy beams at his brothers, filled with nothing but love, joy, and admiration for both of them. They must sense it, because they become a bit sheepish.
“We have to become pirates,” Sabo’s grip on him tightens. “I- I won’t stop fighting for my freedom. Not ever!”
Ace peers over his shoulder, becoming serious. “You’re already free, Sabo. Nothing that they ever take from you will change that.”
Luffy nodded emphatically up at his brothers.
“Silly Sabo, pirates are born free!”
-
Ace’s fist dripped blood. Scars on his knuckles already being replaced with new wounds, the memory dredging up an unpleasant burn in his chest. It seemed like hatred was all he felt anymore. Hatred for himself, hatred for his father, hatred for this world. So he punches the bark again, uncaring of the pain. His brothers had been the only ones to quell it. But now?
His seventeenth birthday was closer than the day he lost them both.
The wood of the tree shattered at his next hit. He couldn’t stand it anymore, staying in one place, acting like he hadn’t searched every nook and cranny on this island. If- and seas did the not knowing kill him , if Luffy was alive, the likelihood that Ace would find him was growing slimmer by the day.
Which is why Ace was going to break their promise. He couldn’t bring himself to care, his rage, his fire, was clawing its way out. At this rate he’d march over to Goa Kingdom and leave no survivors. But he needed to move forward. Sabo had been killed by someone infinitely more powerful than the nobles of Goa, their deaths meant nothing. 2 years, he would be breaking their promise by 2 years, but, neither of them would be here to resent him for it.
The future pirate feels the familiar sting of nails digging into his palms. He had a boat to stock, so Ace left the dark thoughts to fester.
Dadan and her bandits watch on helplessly as Ace drags out his ‘preparations’ for 3 days longer than they needed to be. The small spark of doubt, the guilt at never finding Sabo’s body and putting him to rest, weigh heavily on his shoulders as the 15 year old packs everything away unnecessarily neat. What would he do if he was wrong, and setting out now meant that Luffy would come home to no one if he managed to escape? Which decision was the right one?
Sabo, what would you do?
He gives up the second time the neatly laid clothes wrinkle at a new addition, picking frustratedly at the clunky bandages that prevent his precise movements. Dadan wouldn’t let him stain all of his clothes red, so he resists the urge to peel them off.
Ace curses under his breath, watching them from his peripheral vision. They knew he wouldn’t leave without it, yet none of them even tried to bring it to him. The image of their shared treehouse flashed through his mind without his consent, pain following the memory. But Luffy’s treasure was there, and abandoning it felt about as wrong as anything could these days. He sighed, defeat washing over him like an old friend.
Dadan’s shoulders slumped as if relieved, and Ace should have guessed he was worrying her by avoiding it for so long. It was safe, at least, he remembers securing it before he ran away from that place. He doesn’t think he could ever wear it, not like Luffy did, but keeping a piece of his little brother with him felt right.
The straw hat that Ace could only ever associate with Luffy’s gigawatt smile, he couldn’t look at without the pain of regret and the sting of guilt swallowing him whole. Maybe that’s why carrying it with him was so important, Ace was sure he'd forget if he let himself. He’d forget the feeling of ever being loved, of belonging, of losing the people who made him feel that way.
Hatred, rage, it was terrifying how easily he could be drawn in.
Like now, staring up at the place he and Sabo built from scratch just to get away from Garp. The place Luffy weaseled his way in between them every night. (Frigid nights could never touch them with three natural born heaters piled on top of each other.) The place Ace learned how to use first aid, frantically mothering Luffy, who had fallen out of a tree trying to catch a beatle, and Sabo, who climbed up after him to save him. The place where he and his brothers were together . Never apart.
Ace waged war on the world so many times, but in that moment, tugging along the dreams of both his brothers, the declaration caused the ground to tremble. His heart ached as he climbed the old rope ladder, determined not to notice how small it now seemed. The top of his head nudged the roof as he entered, grimacing at the mess before him. Time really did a number on this place, flowers blooming under the holes in the ceiling. A pang ran through him at just how ruined his neglect had let it become, part of him wishing he had taken care of it properly.
The wood creaked under his weight, and he considered himself lucky that it could even hold him. But the groans of the old planks weren’t the only sound that Ace’s ears picked up on. Beneath the slight howl of the wind, was the smallest, tiniest, sniffle. Ace froze, senses ringing out in alarm, how could someone be here? This place was surrounded by the half-hearted traps of his younger self, the only people who knew the locations of all of them were-
Another sniffle made Ace bite his lip, crushing the hope with all the morbid thoughts he could muster.
“Anyone there?”
Ace felt their breath hitch, felt their shaking from across the tree house. It was a strange trick he had picked up in the five years he had thrown himself into nonstop training. He could feel their presence flickering, as if they were trying to hide it or snuff it out. They were awfully frightened.
“You probably shouldn’t stay in this place, it's dangerous.” He takes a step forward, the ugly creak of the wood making him uneasy. Sure, the climate on Dawn lent pretty well to their wood structure, but 5 years untouched left this place a ticking time bomb. He tries not to regret that too deeply.
“ P-please .” The sound trembles, weak as it reaches Ace’s ears. He thinks it’ll turn him away, the shaking growing more wild, out of the boy’s control. “Sabo… Ace… please help me .”
Ace felt weak in the knees.
“Please, please Ace…” Desperate pleas mixed with what can only be described as complete despair, as if he had no faith in the words at all.
Ace’s heart hurt,
Hurt because he doesn’t recognize the presence,
Hurt because his brother would cry, but never despair.
Hurt because after all this time, he had come back to Ace .
“Lu…ffy?” The name comes out choked. He reaches the cabinet he knows the boy is hiding in, falling to his knees in front of it, salt water already sliding down his cheeks. “Luffy?”
There is a moment where it feels as though all activity from the boy stops, his breath, his heart, even his presence flickers from existence. Ace has half a mind to rip the cabinet door from its hinges, but the boy’s fragile flame returns before he can.
“Ace? ”
“Yeah, Luffy, it’s me, I’m here.” He couldn’t conceal the tremors in his voice, whole body collapsed into the cabinet door as if it would bring them closer. “I’m right here.”
“Ace? But I-” Another hiccup. “Did I fall asleep?”
“ Seas, Luffy please- Open the door, please .” He doesn’t bother to hide the desperation in his voice, feeling his tears soaking into the wood. His brother sounded so small, so afraid. “I’m real, I swear I’m real, Luffy please let me see you.”
There is pressure behind the cabinet, and Ace scrambles back to let it be pushed open. Luffy’s pupils are blown wide, eyes red from crying. Ace wants to pull him into his arms, never let him go again.
“Luffy.” He reaches out.
“Don’t touch me!” Luffy bats his hand away, arm outstretched, light finally hitting part of his brother’s body.
And Ace sees them , the scars, the wounds that haven’t even begun to heal over. Ace feels the bloodlust thrash inside of him, his hands shaking in poorly controlled rage. But Luffy was terrified , eyes searching Ace like he still couldn’t believe he was real. So Ace waits, twitching, as his little brother suffers and he can’t do anything .
“Luffy it’s me, Luffy please I’m right here.” He pleads, his voice breaking with each word. “I’m real, I’ll never let you out of my sight again, so please. I need to get you help .” His eyes refused to leave the mutilated skin, phantom pain sending pins and needles through his body.
“W-where’s Sabo?”
Sabo’s dead . And the grief and regret that fills him in that truth sparks his rage like a wildfire. He feels it hum beneath the surface, bubbling over, but failing to hide it from his face backfires as Luffy sinks deeper into the cabinet, whimpers growing louder.
“He can’t be here, I’m sorry. I just- I really miss him. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have scared you like that.” Right now, he could only tell Luffy half of the truth. His brother shakes, and shakes and adding Sabo’s death on top of all of the pain doesn’t seem like it will get them to his first aid kit any faster. “Luffy you’re bleeding, please, we can talk after I promise.”
“Is he with his parents? Is- Is that why he never came for me?” Blood drips down Luffy’s half lit face, Ace barely registering the words at the need to protect coursing through him. They can’t have this conversation now, but the idea that Sabo or Ace would just leave Luffy wherever he ended up if they had a choice cut his heart in two. “P-please don’t make me leave, I know Ace- Ace hates me for being a cry baby but-”
“Luffy no, no I- we couldn’t find you Luffy. We tried everything - I promise- we never stopped looking for you.” And it’s at least part of the truth, if Sabo were alive- if he had been with Ace he would have looked and looked . The lie still felt wrong on his tongue. “I don’t hate you, Luffy I’m so-”
Ace sobs.
“I’m so sorry Luffy. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to keep you safe- I-” A weight crashed into his front before he could finish, Luffy’s rubber arms wrapping around his torso in a tight grip. Ace hesitates in returning the hug. Luffy’s injured, and he rejected Ace before. Deep within him, Ace is terrified of being rejected again. But Luffy whines, grip tightening around him and Ace just breaks, tears falling into his brother’s already damp hair. He catalogs the information, a hand reaching up to make sure it wasn’t all blood. It hadn’t rained on Dawn Island in days. “Luffy, I'm so glad. I’m so glad you’re alive.”
His brother cried into his chest, and Ace knew that Luffy needs to be treated, the extent of his injuries hiding in the shadows of the room.
“Luffy, I missed you so much.” He couldn't stop saying his brother’s name, it was too surreal. Still curled protectively around him, Ace finally notices the strange clothes, they’re damp too. Shit, they really need to get to Dadan’s hideout before Luffy catches a cold. He ruffles the boy's hair gently, slowly, so as to not startle him. “Come on, can you stand up with me? You don’t need to let go.”
The boy listens, burying himself into Ace’s stomach when Ace proves to be much taller.
“Please- please don’t leave me.” Luffy whispers the words so softly Ace is sure he isn’t meant to hear them. “I- I don’t want to be alone- please, anything but-.”
Another wave of tears cuts him off. Ace knows he needs to get Luffy patched up, but something in him stops as he remembers his purpose for coming here in the first place. Luffy’s hat. Ace had never seen the kid without the thing, it was everything to him. He can’t imagine what it must have been like, never knowing that Ace had saved it from the fire. Carefully, he guides them over to its hiding space. It used to be concealed under their futon, but now, especially with the warped wood, the trap door was easy to spot. His hand never leaves Luffy’s head, even as he awkwardly kneels down with the boy to be able to reach inside.
“I found this for you.” Ace’s hand tugs lightly at the hair on the base of Luffy’s neck, signaling for him to pull away. The hat is undamaged as he holds it for Luffy to see, thanking the seas that this shelter has managed to keep it safe.
“That’s- Shanks’-” Tears flow like waterfalls down Luffy’s face, Ace wants nothing more than to make them stop. He places the straw hat firmly on Luffy’s head. The boy grips at the sides of it, pulling it down to cover his face. “I thought it burned up! Y-you saved it?”
“Yeah. As long as you have this, both Shanks and I will be with you, wherever you decide to go.”
“Sabo too?”
Ace’s stomach twists, but Luffy’s hands are gripping at the brim of the hat, fear finally dissipating from his presence.
“Sabo too.”
He carries Luffy on his back down the ladder, thankful the old house hung on long enough to let them down unharmed. Luffy holds on to him so tight, and Ace feels his heart breaking a little more each step. “We’re gonna get you all healed up Lu, don’t worry. You won’t ever have to be alone again.”
“Ace…”
Dadan isn’t there when he arrives, probably still waiting for him back at the boat. He’d have to trust that they’d give up soon, because there was no way he could leave Luffy like this, and carrying him for much longer without knowing the damage would be too risky.
“I’m gonna set you down, but I’m not going to leave, okay?”
Luffy nods slowly, almost sadly, his arms tightening around Ace’s neck one last time before he lets himself be laid down on Ace’s futon. “Does Ace have to see?”
“See what, Luffy?” He’s already grabbing everything he needs when he responds, calling on old memories to hopefully guide him through patching up his little brother. In the past five years… Ace hadn’t thought much about healing people. When Luffy doesn’t answer, Ace peeks at him. “Luffy?”
“I don’t want Ace to see it.” His brother fidgets, pulling the front of his straw hat down to hide his face. “Ace won’t- be my brother if he sees it.”
“I’m always going to be your brother Luffy.” He places the supplies down beside the bed, kneeling beside the boy. “Nothing will change that.”
Ace’s heart beats wildly in his chest, imagination running rampant as his eyes scan his brother desperately. No use, if Luffy won’t let Ace undress him then there’s no way he’ll be able to know his condition. It’s already bad enough looking at the red stains on the parts of the cloth that aren't black. “Please Luffy, I need to make sure you’ll be okay.”
Luffy doesn’t push him away when he reaches out. Ace counts it as a small victory as he pulls him up and hugs him. Eventually, the boy nods into his chest, and Ace carefully lifts the damp shirt even as it clings to his brother’s skin. The sight of his brother’s back stuns him.
His brother is stock still in his hold, more tears soaking Ace’s shirt. It’s surprising he even has any more tears left to cry with the signs of dehydration written all over his body. Between Luffy’s shoulder blades, sits the hoof of the soaring sun, the mark of a slave. Ace can’t breathe, can’t do anything but stare at the brand as the sight burns itself into his memory.
“I-I told Ace. I-I’m…”
Ace doesn’t let Luffy finish, he removes the shirt entirely, hands shaking.
“I can’t believe you went and got yourself so hurt without me, do you know how much I worried about you?” The smile he gives doesn’t reach his eyes at all, but it seems to shake Luffy from whatever memory was surfacing. “Troublesome little brother, I missed you so much.”
“Mm’ sorry… Ace.”
—
He feels someone jostle his arm, pulling him out of a fitful sleep. Ace jolts, scrambling to his knees to look over the boy sound asleep in front of him.
“Ace, you haven’t eaten in days.” Dadan places a plate on the floor. He hadn’t heard her come in.
“I’m not feeling very hungry.” The dismissal causes a deep sigh to erupt from beside him.
“Who is going to protect him if you starve yourself? Like it or not, Luffy needs you to live.” She’s right, but the memory of his brother’s pained cries as Ace’s shaking hands stitched up the monstrous gash on his baby brother’s shoulder killed any kind of appetite that he had. Dadan huffs, sitting cross legged on the other side of Luffy. “Eat it.”
Ace does, and forcing down a meal that made him sick to eat, was only the first self-destructive thing Ace would do to keep his brother safe.
“You’re not alone Ace, we all care about Luffy. We won’t let anything happen to him again.”
“Right now?” Ace laughs, eyes void of any joy. “Right now if those people came for him, we wouldn’t be able to do anything .”
There is a moment of silence between them, both of them mourning Sabo’s memory. Ace had poured himself into researching who killed him, swearing his revenge over and over again on the cliffside where they used to stand together. But he wasn’t a foolish kid anymore. He knew, better than most, the power these ‘ people’ held. Dadan doesn’t meet his eyes, her determination to protect not leaving her face, even with what it would mean for her.
“I’m going to become stronger. I’m going to become so strong that those bastards won’t be able to touch him ever again.” Ace brushes a stray strand of hair out of Luffy’s face. “And then I’m going to kill them for what they did to Sabo.”
“That’s a lot for a brat like you to carry on your shoulders. You’ll have to take care of yourself.” She gestures to his hands, and Ace rubs at the bandages subconsciously.
“Yeah, I know.”
“So… will you be leaving?”
“No, not for a while, at least.”
Dadan lets out a long, suffering sigh at the lack of finality in the statement. “Luffy doesn’t need a pirate right now, Ace. He needs a big brother.”
In the time it takes for Luffy to wake, Ace finds that his own wounds have healed, freeing his scarred knuckles from the restrictive cloth. The itch he feels to fuck them up all over again doesn’t go away.
-
“Luffy!” Ace counters the tiger before it can slash at the distressed boy, scaring it off. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”
It had only been around a month since Luffy showed up at their treehouse, and only 3 weeks since he woke up. Ace had been walking on eggshells trying to figure out what triggered him and what didn’t. He seemed okay with touch, until it wasn’t Ace, and he seemed fine with teasing, until it wasn’t Ace. Luffy never liked to be alone, but now it seemed that alone meant without Ace . If he was without Ace it was like he was sent back to-
…
Ace must have left Luffy’s sight by accident. He seemed to be doing fine a few minutes ago, so it was the only explanation the older boy could find.
“I’m s-sorry Ace… I just wanted… to hunt with you like…” Before is what Luffy doesn’t say.
“I know, I know. It’s okay, you’re just- out of practice that’s all.” Ace cringed when it barely sounded like he believed it. Five years cutting people out, not talking to anyone for very long, left his lying abilities something to be desired.
“Hey, Ace?” Luffy sits, and Ace takes the cue for what it is, sitting next to his baby brother and waiting for him to say what’s on his mind. “You never talk about him.”
“Talk about who?” Almost instinctively, he takes Luffy’s hand, tracing the scars up and down his arm. It was a habit Ace picked up after Luffy had fully healed. His shoulders and back had received the worst of it, the deepest, widest scars lingering there. So Ace often found himself with Luffy between his legs, hands sliding under the t-shirt slightly to trail over the marred skin.
“Sabo.” Luffy finishes, after a while. Hand twitching when Ace suddenly stops his tracing. “Did he really go back to his parents? Is he happy?”
Ace had really hoped Luffy would let it lie for a little longer. Biting the inside of his cheek, Ace let none of the anger surface. He would never scare Luffy again, he would never be a source of fear for his brother. It was his job to make sure Luffy would never suffer again, but he wouldn’t lie to Luffy either.
“He’s not with his parents, Sabo is… free of them forever.” He sees the moment the Devil Fruit user understands where he’s going. Ace pulls Luffy into him, feeling like he’s finally allowed to grieve for the loss. “Sabo- Sabo died. He tried to sail out on his own, but his boat was hit. It sank. There’s no way- there was no way he could have survived.”
“Sabo… is dead?” Luffy shakes his head, eyes watering. “B-but what about our promise? We are- we were all gonna become great pirates together!”
Sabo would never get a chance to. Ace had known that for some time, but somehow, hearing it aloud opened a long ignored wound on his heart. Of failing Sabo, of accusing him of abandoning them. That anger, if he had just taken Luffy to the city that day to drag Sabo back with them, Luffy wouldn’t have been there when they attacked, Sabo wouldn’t have set sail to escape his parents. If he had just set aside that anger then-
It was his fault. All of it. Leaving Luffy alone, letting Sabo sacrifice himself for them, he could have stopped it all if he had just believed in Sabo. Believed in his brother. He held onto Luffy tighter, feeling the dam break. “I’m sorry Luffy, I- I couldn’t be there for you. I couldn’t save Sabo. He left to protect us from his parents, and I just let him go. I should have tried to stop him! I should have gone after him! I- deep down I knew he wouldn’t have returned to them by choice. I chose to be hurt.”
“Some brother I turned out to be…huh?” Ace’s free hand fisted in his bangs, ugly sobs wrecking his body. “It should have been me. Sabo would have never- he would have never left you alone. He was always the brains, I just- I just screw everything up.”
“A-Ace.” Luffy’s hands shake. It shouldn’t have been either of his big brothers. His lights. “I… I want to become stronger. Stronger, and stronger. Stronger… and stronger. Stronger! And even Stronger than that! And then… I’ll be able to protect anything… I won’t have to lose anyone ever again. So please… Ace… Don’t die!”
“...like I could ever leave you on your own.” Ace places a hand on Luffy’s head, hiding his wrecked face from his baby brother’s view. “I will not die. Sabo made that request too, so I promise. I will not die.”
They returned to Dadan without a catch that day. He doesn’t tell Luffy who hit Sabo’s ship that day. That burden was his to carry, their blood would be on his hands.
Luffy retreated even more after that. He barely talked to anyone but Ace, a quiet shadow always by his side. It was hard to get him to eat, harder to get him to smile. They don’t move back into the treehouse, even though Ace worked hard to restore it. The memory of Sabo was too much for the both of them. They visited though, whenever the hole he left felt like it would consume them. Luffy liked to pick flowers on the way, laying them down at the base of the ladder. Somewhere along the way, the old treehouse had become a memorial.
“Sabo’s true home.” Luffy had said. Ace couldn’t help but agree.
As the months went on, Ace noticed more and more what the past 5 years had done to his brother. After the initial exhaustion wore off, it was nearly impossible to get the boy to sleep. Ace would sometimes wake up to Luffy staring up at him, dark circles betraying his casual ‘I slept great!’. It wouldn’t be until their second month together that Ace would learn why. His brother ran out of energy eventually, finally falling into a fitful sleep after a proper scolding from Ace. He was relieved at first, just happy that Luffy would get some kind of rest.
Only to be woken up by the screams. Ace tried his best to comfort him, to tell him he was safe, to bring him back to the present, but whatever was in his head, Ace couldn’t touch. The most he could do was hold him, tell him he was there. When Luffy finally came out of it, he didn’t talk for 3 days. Ace let him, no matter how much the silence hurt.
“We should go out foraging again tomorrow. Dadan is complaining.” Ace chuckles, having become used to the answering silence. “You could stand to work on eating the mushrooms that aren’t poisonous.”
They settle into their futon, Ace having stopped the usual lectures on ‘sleep’ a while ago. Usually he just talked Luffy’s ear off until the sleep overtook him, as staying up with Luffy only proved to upset the boy more. He’s reaching the end though, Ace can see it in his movements, his eyes, Luffy won’t last much longer.
“Ace?” Luffy crawled under the covers, snuggling into Ace’s shirt. “Y-you won’t leave me right? You won’t- disappear?”
“No. No, Luffy, of course not.” When the sniffling didn’t stop, Ace tightened his grip around his brother. “I’m going to be here when you wake up. I- I’m going to be here, I promise. I’ll promise every night if I have to. Just please try for me, Luffy. Try to get some sleep.”
“O-okay.”
It was Ace’s turn not to sleep, ready to be there when Luffy needed him. The nightmares didn’t stop, but the more Ace was there when Luffy awoke, the faster he came out of them.
Sparing was… well, sparing was nearly impossible. As much as Luffy craved that normalcy, deep down neither of them were capable of it anymore. Instead, Ace tried his best to make a training routine that consisted of more fighting adjacent activities than actual fighting. He refused to risk triggering anything accidentally, but it also comforted him to know that Luffy could protect himself. So, there would be no shying away. Ace would have to let Luffy train right alongside him.
Not that this feat proved to be very easy. Hunting had been completely removed from the table, Luffy refused to kill anything- even if it meant food. The boy would even swat at him for trying to kill a spider that had oh so unkindly invaded their room.
“Ace has to say sorry! Mr Spider was just passing through, he didn’t need to be so mean!” His brother holds out the animal accusingly.
“Luffy! Put it down before it bites you, it could be poisonous!” He reaches out to swat it out of Luffy’s hands but the boy retreats.
“Meanie! Mr Spider is nice, so he won’t bite me.”
Eventually, Ace concedes. Apologizing to the spider was embarrassing , but his brother wasn’t gonna put the thing down if he didn’t. He likes to think he imagined the thing turning around and waving with one of its spindly legs, but Luffy waved back, so he probably didn’t.
The way his brother fought had changed, too. Ace first noticed it when they finally invested in straw dummies to pummel. He covered his openings more, and his stance was defensive . His aim with his devil fruit had also improved, but Ace couldn’t tell if it was the time or- or if it was experience. Part of him was too scared to ask. Still, the more defensive style is definitely there, and the implications of it hurt .
As they continued to train, Ace also learned that the two of them had similar abilities to pick out certain people without actually being able to see them. It was exciting to be able to put it to practical use, trying to predict each other's attacks as they trained against the dummy. It had also brought a bit of normalcy, as long as Luffy could feel Ace nearby, he wouldn’t break down. Curious, Ace couldn’t help but ask what his presence felt like.
“What Ace feels like?”
“Yeah. Like, to me, you feel like waves, or the slight sway of a boat on the water. Feeling you nearby always makes me feel calm.”
“Oh, well, I guess Ace just feels like Ace. Feels really warm… and safe!”
He cried that night, swearing to get even stronger.
Their excursions to the town grew more frequent after Makino learned of Luffy's return. She now demanded a visit whenever they had free time. The boy was nervous at first, but she must have had experience with something like this before, because Ace never had to tell her not to touch or go too far with Luffy. She just knew. Luffy really liked visiting her too, they talked about Shanks, and how proud he would be of Luffy for getting so much stronger. When Ace announced that he wanted to meet shanks to thank him for saving his little brother, they both smiled at him.
“Let me come with you! I wanna see him too!” Luffy whined, hanging on to Ace’s arm.
“And what will you say when you greet him Ace? ‘Hey old man, thanks for losing a fucking arm for my little brother’?” Her impression shocked a shy laugh from Luffy, and that was enough for Ace to decide weekly lessons with her was a must.
“Can… you teach me? I wanna thank him properly.”
Garp visited as well, and it was the only time that Ace had ever seen him cry. Dadan must have sent him a letter, because it wasn’t time for one of his bi-yearly visits. Luffy let the marine hug him, even if Ace could tell he was a bit afraid. His brother’s fear of marines was new too, but with who was pulling the strings behind them… Ace wouldn’t fault fear by affiliation in this case. Luffy must have seen his share of corrupt marines anyway. The vice admiral stayed longer than he normally did, enough for Luffy’s fear to disappear entirely. Ace was worried it would end badly, but that didn’t happen. If anything, having another person around that Luffy felt comfortable touching made the boy come out of his shell a lot.
He only left when he was directly summoned by Sengoku, with a promise to visit more often. Ace actually trusted him to keep it too, it didn’t look like he wanted to leave at all. Luffy was sad for a few days, but Garp had taken to having letters and pictures delivered fairly frequently. He had to wonder if Garp knew who had taken Luffy, he knew the marine looked for his grandson relentlessly, just as Ace did, but with the man's resources…
“Did you know they had him?” Ace asked one night before Garp left, Luffy asleep on his lap. He purposefully doesn’t elaborate. The mystery of Luffy’s arrival hadn’t crossed his mind much in the beginning, but part of him always thought it could have been Garp. With this visit though, Ace had started having doubts in that theory.
“I didn’t. Not until Dadan’s letter.” Garp paused, thinking of his next sentence. “Sengoku kept it from me, I learned as much after I stormed his office. He’s always known my beef with those bastards, probably expected me to march up to Mariejois and take Luffy back myself.”
“Would you have?”
“...I like to think I would.”
Either way, Garp’s more constant appearances in their lives seemed to help Luffy a lot. Ace couldn’t really find it in himself to be angry with him.
One of their visits to Makino, Luffy was being quieter than usual. Ace knew, of course, that Luffy had bad days. Days where he felt like nothing was real, days where the memories won, and the present felt like it was a million miles away. But there was something different about this bout of silence. Less gloom, and more pouting.
“Is everything okay, Lu?” He nudges his brother, intertwining their fingers together.
“Today is…” Luffy mumbled something inaudible, and Ace glanced up to Makino helplessly. Today was what? Did those bastards say something to him? It wasn’t the anniversary of Sabo’s death, Ace dreaded that day too much to forget it.
“Today is-” The boy hiccups, tears in his eyes. “Today is Ace’s special day- but I didn’t get Ace anything because I’m too afraid to go out to town alone!”
Ace blinks. Was it January already? With Luffy crashing his way back into Ace’s life, his 16th birthday had fallen so far into the back of his mind.
“Oh Luffy, how about you two go out to town together? I’m sure Ace won’t mind it not being a surprise.” Green hair falls in her face as she continues to clean the bar. Luffy always felt more comfortable if the bartender’s attention wasn’t solely focused on him.
And so, Ace finds himself dragged around Fusha as Luffy refuses to let go of his hand. It’s the most relaxed Ace has seen him in a long time, eyes shining whenever he sees something he thinks Ace might like. It doesn’t take long for his brother to become fixated on a bright orange hat. Handling the thing with more care than Ace has ever seen, his little brother holds the hat out to him.
“A hat? Not that I don’t like it, but I thought for sure you’d pick the bronze statue from the last shop.” Despite his teasing, Ace is already leading them over to the owner, ready to buy the accessory and never take it off. It was from Luffy, after all.
“Ace doesn’t have a hat yet, but Sabo and I do! Don’t you want to match?”
Ace hides his tears underneath the brim of his gift on the way back, feeling more connected to his blond brother than he has in a long time. When they return to the bar, Makino serves Luffy’s favorite cake since Ace didn’t have one, and Ace thinks having Luffy back is the best gift he could have ever been given.
It took close to a year, but eventually Luffy trusted him to come back if he left for the town alone, and a full year for Luffy to be able to make a trip alone himself. (Luffy proudly announced he’d be retrieving Ace’s next present all by himself.) He still wouldn’t let the others touch him, although Makino was beginning to break through. Ace had no doubt that Luffy will eventually be as comfortable with her as he is with Garp. And sometimes, when they were sitting around a fire, the bandits chatting merrily and having the time of their lives, Luffy could smile like he did before.
Ace chased those moments more than anything.
They spent most of their time exploring the forest around Dadan’s hideout. Being outside always seemed to lift his brother’s spirits, and Ace had long been weak to whatever made his brother happy. Who cared if the nightmares hadn’t stopped? Who cared if Luffy never quite let Dadan hug him? (Ace thinks it’s because he didn’t get to know her all that well before.) He was smiling more, he was eating more, and Ace was just so relieved he was beginning to feel better.
Then, his 17th birthday was right around the corner, and thoughts of leaving flickered in and out of his head. Thoughts of leaving Luffy stopping them all in their tracks. It was 2 months shy of 2 years, and Luffy was not okay. Maybe if it was reversed, if Luffy had spent 5 years with him and 2 with them . But it wasn’t, and his baby brother needed him.
“We promised we’d go.” Luffy mumbled.
“But- you can’t be- I won’t leave you .” You can’t even sleep alone. But Luffy is staring at him, eyes shining the way they did when the kid’s mind was well and truly made up. He hadn’t seen it in a while, not since the last declaration of “Pirate King” from- from before. “I get it- Lu, but I can wait a little longer. We’ll still set out-”
“No!” His brother sits up in the futon, and Ace bites his lip at the petulant shake of his head. “We promised Sabo that- that when we were 17 we’d set sail.”
“Sabo would kill me if I left you alone.”
“But Sabo’s not here.” Ouch . “We won’t be able to make new promises with him. So whether he wants it or not, we need to keep it!”
Luffy sniffles, eyes never losing their determined gleam. And the way Luffy looks at him, as if forcibly reminding him that he was supposed to be grieving too. Luffy always did that, and he was also right more often than Ace liked to admit. Ace pulled the comforter over them, curling around his brother protectively. He couldn’t get stronger if he stayed here. Dawn Island was too small, and his abilities have long since outgrown his own knowledge.
So the night of his 17th birthday (Yes, night, because no matter how much the sea called to him, his brother would always trump it) Ace stumbled onto the dinghy he’d bought at 15.
“See you, Luffy.”
“See you, Ace!”