Chapter Text
Following the kidnapping and the issues that Chris had at the beginning of the pregnancy and then the early arrival of baby Gabriella Chris was understandably feeling anxious. Gabi was kept in hospital for 2 weeks for further monitoring and check-ups while Chris was discharged after 4 days. She found that really tough and in the days that followed Gabi’s birth Chris spend many hours at the hospital questioning whether she could even be a good mom to her. With everything that had happened, things just seemed to keep going wrong for them. As she sat next to her incubator in the hospital looking at their beautiful little girl the doubts slowly snuck into her head, would Jim and Gabi be better off without her. Jim could see she was struggling but she kept pushing him away and shutting down. He knew that was her way of dealing with things, but she wasn't dealing at all. He constantly tried to reassure her that everything was going to be fine, but she looked lost behind her eyes. Chris kept blaming herself for Gabi arriving early and she was constantly apologising to Jim about Gabi being kept in.
A week after Gabi’s arrival Deacon and Annie turned up at the hospital with lunch for them both, Deacon and Street went to get them both a coffee and left Annie with Chris and Gabi. Unbeknown to Chris, Street had shared his concerns with Deacon and Annie. She sat next to Chris and made small talk and asked how she was feeling?
“I had a section with both of my last pregnancies, its hard especially when you have a little one still in hospital.” Annie placed her hand on Chris’ and gently squeezed. Chris looked at Annie and it took all her effort to raise a smile.
“This is all my fault, Gabi been in here. I couldn’t keep her safe when she was inside of me how am I going to do that now she is here?” Chris’ eyes filled with tears.
Annie stood up and hugged Chris tight, in that moment Chris cried. All the emotion that she had been bottling up she let it go. Street peered through the window in the door and could see Chris crying, he looked at Deacon and he couldn’t help himself. The tears rolled down his cheeks, he didn’t know what to do, what to say. Deacon pulled him close and said “believe me this is normal, no one tells you about these feelings when you have a child, they only share the happy feelings. But it’s scary especially first time round you have this tiny human to protect and keep safe it’s really over whelming but you two need to keep talking to each other that's how you will get through this.”
Street entered the room and hugged Chris tightly kissing the top of her head. “Why don’t you two go and eat your lunch outside, get some fresh air with each other and me and Deacon will sit with Gabi!” Annie suggested.
They both agreed and walked slowly outside hand in hand, they sat on the bench and for the next half an hour they spoke openly and honestly about how they were both feeling. From that moment Chris knew that it wasn’t just her that was feeling vulnerable Jim also was.
He looked into her eyes and spoke calmly “we can do anything together Chris, we are a team and Gabi is so lucky to have you as her mom and I am lucky to have you as my girlfriend or should I say finance if you will except?” Chris looked down and in his hand, he was holding a ring. The shock was written all over her face but not in a bad way, just unexpected. Before Jim she had never wanted to marry anyone, she never felt it was important. But he was her best friend and if she was being honest with herself and not trying to self-sabotage, she could never imagine not been with him. She burst into tears again and nodded her head, these bloody baby hormones she couldn’t wait to be feeling normal again! Jim leaned in and kissed her slowly, touching her cheek as he did.
Pulling away Chris rested her forehead onto his “I love you Jim, more than anything and that really scares me”
“I know it does, I feel the same too, but it’s always been you Chris and I promise I will do everything I can to give you and Gabi the life that you both deserve”
“The life that WE deserve Jim!”