Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a great day. The sky was a clear blue, the temperature wasn't too cold that it made his nose drip and unlike the other days he wasn't woken up by the sound of his neighbor shouting at her kids. It sort of reminded him of the first episode of any cliché teen drama, where it starts with a montage of the protagonist getting ready for their first day of school. But in his case he was getting ready for the first day of his job (sans the montage).

He hummed under his breath as he got ready. It was going to be a great day, he could feel it in his bones. He even had breakfast ready at the nick of time (and nothing was burnt either!). And for the first time, his wild cowlick at the top of his head had given up the fight to stay upright. He was wearing his new suit, which was a little loose on his shoulders, but it made him look mature and professional.

It was going to be a great day.

After spending countless all nighter on his projects and that one horrible internship, he finally had a job (after sitting in every single job interview he could find). In a gaming company of all places. A programmer's dream! (No. Just his dream. He doesn't know about everyone else). His mother had told him that he deserved the position, that he had worked hard for it. But his imposter syndrome had kicked in right when he got the offer letter. It was too hard to find a way to argue when the opponent is your own mind.

NO! 

He wasn’t going to think about it now! Today was supposed to be a great start. A brand new chapter of his life. He was going to make sure nothing ruin it. 

He wasn’t going to let anything ruin it.

He was taking the last bite of his stale bread when the shouting started. It was something Yamaguchi was used to, paper thin walls of his apartment that gave him a glimpse of his neighbor’s life. Every morning Nakamura-san would scream her eldest son awake with her constant insults.

“YOU USELESS RAT! YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL. IF I GET ONE MORE COMPLAIN I SWEAR I’LL THROW YOU OUT IN THE STREET”

He still doesn’t know how no one has filed any noise complaints against her. Maybe everyone was a little scared of her (he was too shy to do it himself, besides some of her insults were quite funny). He wedged his plates into his swarming sink as he heard the extent of Nakamura-san’s slander.

“WHY THE HELL DO I BUST MY ASS EVERY MORNING FOR UNGRATEFUL BRATS LIKE YOU. WHY ARE WE WASTING OUR MONEY ON YOU, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO RAISE THREE KIDS?” there was a beat of silence. Yamaguchi thought that it was the end of today's show, but the screaming started again. Two tones higher and a lot louder. “IF I DON’T SEE YOU READY IN FIVE MINUTES I’M GOING TO TAKE YOU OUT ON THE STREET AND BEAT YOUR ASS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.”

Yamaguchi snorted as he heard the shuffle and a big thump (which he was sure was the sound of the son falling from his bed) beyond the wall. Yamaguchi wanted to stay a little longer and listen to the end of the shouting session but he didn’t want to be late on his first day.

He checked his bag one last time, he smiled at the tiny frogs his mother had embroidered in the corner. The bag itself was a gift from her, on landing a job (which she approved of).  Yamaguchi smiled at the thought of his mother searching countless shops to get a laptop bag with large straps and lots of pockets. Just how he liked it. 

It might have been all in his head, but even the weather that day was great. A light breeze greeted him as he got out of his apartment, the kind that was neither hot nor cold. And there might’ve been birds chirping somewhere like a background noise. He even managed to get a seat in the train right in the middle of rush hour (another indication of an approaching fine day).

During one of his anxiety episodes, Yamaguchi had googled every single route he could take to get to his company, so he knew the shortest path, the path to avoid during rain and the path that had more convenience stores in between.

The company building was located in the heart of Tokyo. In the midst of similar looking skyscrapers it was hard to recognize at first. But the brightly coloured company logo could be recognized from meters away. Yamaguchi checked his watch to make sure he wasn’t running late (he wasn’t. He was half an hour early). Even though Tokyo was the main branch, his initial choice had been Osaka (mostly because he thought he was too mediocre for Tokyo and Osaka was closer to home). He still doesn’t know why he got a position in the main branch.

There were two men waiting for him at the reception. He didn't see them at first (or he did see them but he didn't assume someone would take time out just to greet him) in his haste to get to the building he gave his name to the receptionist and went straight to the lift. It was when the pretty man with a polished smile and rimless glasses called his name did he realize that the two men were actually waiting for him.

He recognized the shorter man of the two, from the company’s website. Yaku Morisuke, the head of the development department of the Tokyo branch (Yes, in his anxiety episode he googled every employee listed under the company’s website). The taller of the two men was the one who greeted Yamaguchi, smiling as he bowed, he introduced himself as Akaashi Keiji.

"I hope you didn’t have any trouble finding the place?" Akaashi-san asked, as the opening question.

"It's difficult to miss this building." Yamaguchi answered politely. He was more concerned about the presence of the department head right beside him. Tadashi had assumed that he wouldn't be meeting such a big authority this soon. He glanced back at the head in a fit of nervousness and to his utter surprise the man was staring back at him. With a giant smile.

"Yamaguchi-san" Yaku Morisuke started when he had gotten attention from the said man "I must say your portfolio was quite impressive. I regret not sitting in for your second interview"

"I- I’m- I’m flattered. It’s just some small projects I worked on." Yamaguchi accidentally let out his nervous laugh and in panic to cover it up he added "I won’t call my projects impressive."

"Oh but for someone in college they are quite advanced" Yaku-san didn’t look like he was backing down on the compliments any time soon, which made Yamaguchi even more nervous "I had you placed right under me so I could see your full potential.  I’m looking forward to working with you." 

Yamaguchi let out another set of his nervous laugh as he felt the copious amount of pressure behind those words. His imposter syndrome kicked in at that moment and he debated whether he should downplay his skills a little more to relieve some of the stress. But before he could gaslight his own skills Akaashi-san interrupted the conversation.

"We should get you settled in. We don’t usually welcome the new hires in the reception" Akaashi-san explained as he turned towards the lift, making the rest of the two trail him. ''We just happened to be finishing a meeting and I recognized you from your resume and I thought maybe an early welcome would be nice."

"Ah I see" Yamaguchi muttered, he found himself wedged between the two men when they got into the lift.

Akaashi-san, ignoring Yamaguchi’s awkward attempt to reply, continued "We were expecting one more hire along with you but we got a call informing us that he won’t be joining us until tomorrow. So-" He turned to give Yamaguchi another one of his elegant smiles, which did nothing to reassure Yamaguchi "I was thinking of giving you an unofficial tour of the place. What do you think?"

As if Yamaguchi had a choice to say no.  

"I would love that. Thank you very much."

"You don’t have to be so formal," Yaku-san chortled. "You’re part of the family now, no need for the formal work talk. Ignore Keiji, he speaks to everyone like that."

Yamaguchi felt a surge of relief flood through his streams, he wasn’t sure if he could handle the formal talk for a long period of time. He looked back at the department head and gave him a firm nod in answer. He felt an instant liking for Yaku Morisuke at that moment.

When the lift reached their destination, Akaashi-san informed with the poise of a professional tour guide, "The second floor is shared by two departments. Development and Finance."

"The finance is a bitch to work with" Yaku-san added in the end as a last minute advice "you stay away from them as much as possible" 

Akaashi-san looked offended by the statement but chose not to reprimand the head of the department (or maybe he was too scared to say anything to his boss. Who knows?) and continued his tour "We’ll be working under the same team, Yamaguchi-san"

Yamaguchi perked up at the remark  "What kind of projects are you working on Akaashi-san?"

"It’s a new game that the company is launching next year." Akaashi-san answered, losing the professionalism in his excitement "It’s in the final stages. We’re almost done with it, just a lot of testing left. But we will probably get a new project next month." The last sentence was probably meant for the shorter man walking beside Yamaguchi, if the pointed look Akaashi gave Yaku-san was any indication. Although Yaku-san’s only response to it was a loud snort.

"I’ll introduce you to the rest of the team later" Akaashi-san exclaimed as he opened the revolving doors. A gust of cold processed air hit Yamaguchi as he surveyed his new office space.

It wasn't as thrilling as Yamaguchi made it up to be in his head. It was nothing more than rows and rows of cubicles packed together. A massive shelf display at the far end of the room was loaded with miniature figurines of what Yamaguchi imagined were gaming characters. Yamaguchi didn't have time to glance around since his view was obstructed by a large torso wearing a ridiculous-looking red tie with a shrimp cartoon printed all over it. 

"Yamaguchi-san. Let me introduce you to the person you’ll be working under. He’s the head game developer of our team" Akaashi-san’s honeyed voice said. 

Yamaguchi looked up at the face of the shrimp tie owner, his mind reminding him that this was his soon-to-be boss and to put a charming smile on his face (and to stop judging the tie). But before he could will his lips to smile, he registered the face.

"Yamaguchi-san?" someone called his name but he was too busy staring at the man in front of him to respond.

The face of that fucking bastard. The face that to this date haunted him. 

"Fuck! Not you!"

___

8 years ago

The only reason he went to the try outs was because if he didn't go Tsukki wouldn't either. Yamaguchi wasn’t really sure if he would make it, there were around fifteen students trying out for the volleyball club. But he still gave it a try. Mostly to support his grumpy best friend.

To tell you the truth. He wasn’t looking forward to it, he wasn’t really a big fan of volleyball anymore (not since he saw people 10 times better than him). But he couldn't say that to Tsukki. Because then Tsukki would make Yamaguchi sit out and use Tadashi as an excuse to not go either. And Yamaguchi knew how much Tsukishima loved volleyball.

He was so focused on cheering for Tsukki that he didn’t realize his name was being called out from the other side of the court. It was the orange haired kid beside him that gave him a nudge when Yamaguchi’s name was called out again, this time filled with anger.

Yamaguchi hurried to the direction of the angry voice, but in his haste his right foot hit his left and he crashed into a broad chest face first. 

"Whoa! You okay there?" The broad chest asked. Yamaguchi could hear some people laughing and he felt an instant chagrin.

"Yes I’m fine" Yamaguchi managed to say before he looked back at the pair of hazel eyes looking down at him.

"Wow you’re so tiny. Are you sure you're at the right tryouts? You looks so scrawny" The boy said with a jeer. 

Yamaguchi was quite sure that the boy in front of him was a third year. Tsukki had pointed him out to Yamaguchi in the beginning of the try out and had said in a dismissive tone "His smile is annoying". And Yamaguchi had to agree to that statement. The raven haired senior’s smile looked evil from a distance, like he knew all of your darkest secrets and couldn’t wait to scream them to everyone.

"Ye-yes" Yamaguchi muttered back, not quite sure what he was agreeing to. But in that moment he felt out of place, when the hazel eyed senior stared at him with that evil smile. What made it worse was the two boys standing behind him, sporting equally evil smiles. (Although to be fair the one with the gray hair looked happy rather than wicked).

"Can you even hit a ball? Or receive?" 

"I- I can" Yamaguchi couldn’t understand his own reaction at that time. Even though he had lost his love for volleyball, he was still confident enough in the sport. But talking to the senior made his stomach twist in knots. He could feel the conversation slipping out of his control as the people around him looked at him like he was a rotten piece of meat.

"Well I hope you can. Your hands looks like they would rip off the moment they touch a ball" Before Yamaguchi had a chance to defend himself, the senior continued "Let’s see what you can do, Freckles"

Yamaguchi had always hated that nickname, because it reminded him of the bullying he had received in primary school. But when the name rolled out from that evil smile he felt a different kind of hate. Suddenly he was regretting coming to the try out. 

After a couple of years Yamaguchi would proclaim to his best friend, with a lot of liquid courage inside his system. That the day he first met Kuroo Testurou was the worst day of his life. 

___

After a beat of utter silence did he realize that he had said those words out loud. In front of everyone. In front of the Department head. In front of his colleague. So much for having a great day. He looked at the three faces of shock staring back at him, although Yaku-san looked more amused. That’s when he realized the gravity of the situation.

"I’m- I’m so sorry." Yamaguchi stumbled over his words "I didn’t mean it like that-" (He absolutely did) "I was just taken aback and- I’m really sorry that was really rude of me. I apologize-"

A hearty laugh interrupted his panicky apology. Yaku looked back at Yamaguchi, still laughing as he wiped the tears out of his eyes. Even Akaashi-san looked like he was trying not to let his own laugh out. The only one who did look offended was that bastard himself, who Yamaguchi refused to acknowledge. 

"Have you met Tetsurou before, Yamaguchi-san?" 

"Ah- yes, he was a senior in my high school" he didn’t dare to look up, although he did wonder what kind of expression the bastard was making.

Yaku-san gave another hearty laugh, this time Akaashi-san joined in. "Well that explains the reaction. You don’t need to apologize, Yamaguchi-san. I totally understand you, I would’ve been furious too if this asshole was my superior."

Yamaguchi attempted to laugh with the department head but it didn’t feel right, after all the bastard was still his boss. It was never right to piss off your boss the very first day of work. After gathering enough courage, Yamaguchi looked at the said boss. Unlike the rest of the two, Kuroo Tetsurou was not laughing. He was studying Yamaguchi with a rather serious expression, which brought back Yamaguchi’s initial state of panic. Maybe he did manage to offend the bastard.

"So it is you," the bastard said, still studying Yamaguchi closely. "I must say, you look really different from that lanky kid I used to know. It would be fun to work with you, freckles" he gave a short bow in greeting but Yamaguchi’s eyes were focused on the leering smile on the bastard's face. 

Tadashi had buried his rage somewhere deep inside him but he could feel it trying to crawl out of the space as he looked at that evil smile again. Time did nothing to diminish the malice behind that smile, in fact it was even more irritating than before (a feat only Kuroo Tetsurou can manage to achieve). Tadashi stood there fuming in his years old fury as he looked at the man who had made his life hell back in high school.

But he couldn’t do anything about it, just like he couldn’t do anything about it back in high school. 

He just put on his fake smile and nodded, just like he did back in high school.

"Come on Yamaguchi-san. I’ll show you your desk" Yamaguchi didn’t hear the voice, he was too busy reeling all his old memories back in. He only registered the hand at his back directing him towards the cubicles.

-x- 

After Akaashi-san had left him at his desk, he sat staring at his computer screen, recounting the events of the day. It was supposed to be a great start to his professional career, but now he was debating handing in his resignation tomorrow. He had already lived through hell once, he wasn’t planning on reliving that experience ever again.

His phone dinged in his jacket, and he took it out to switch the phone into silent mode. But the name on his notification bar made him pause. He needed someone to vent his frustration, and the universe had provided him that someone.

All the best on your first day!!!!

Said the text and Yamaguchi couldn’t help but snort, Tsukki never used exclamation points (because he thought they were too loud ). Looking around to see if anyone was paying attention to him, Yamaguchi opened the chat to reply back.

TSUKKKKIIII!!!!!!

GUESS WHO I MET TODAY!!!!!

Yamaguchi was too impatient to wait for a reply, besides he knew his best friend would probably be busy with his training.

KUROO FUCKING TETSUROU!!

And guess my fucking luck.

That bastard is my boss!!!!!!!!!!

He was going to type an entire paragraph about how the universe hated him and wanted to see him suffer when he heard the familiar haunting snicker behind him.

"Shouldn’t you wait a couple of months to slack off from work?"

“I- I wasn’t slacking” Yamaguchi protested in defense, hiding his phone behind his back. A couple of people from the neighboring cubicles were looking at him curiously but he tried to ignore his embarrassment. “I was just-”

“You used to do that in High School too, didn’t you?” Kuroo complained, cutting Yamaguchi’s explanation “You haven’t changed after all? Still pathetic as ever.”

Yamaguchi gritted his teeth in anger, he swallowed his own insults before they managed to run out of his lips. This was his boss. Nothing good was going to happen by butting heads with Kuroo. 

Yamaguchi stood up, straightening his spine. “Kuroo-san, I would like to apologize for my outburst earlier. It was extremely rude-”       

"Oh it’s alright." No matter how many times Yamaguchi told himself not to look at it, his eyes would gravitate towards that devilish smile. Kuroo leaned closer to whisper in his ears "You’ll pay for it eventually." Maybe Yamaguchi was just imagining the threat behind that proclamation (he did that a lot) but he couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down his spine. 

Kuroo (-san! That’s your boss! Be respectful! Even though you would rather die than show that bastard a single drop of respect) leaned back up, smile still in its place.

Off to a good start, his mind supplied.

Yamaguchi glanced back at his phone when it vibrated in his hands. The screen lit up showing Tsukki’s reply.

RIP.

Chapter Text

Yamaguchi banged his head on the desk, making everyone around glance at him in confusion. This was not the day he had imagined (and believe me when I say he had imagined it quite a number of times). Meeting the person who traumatized your high school life was one thing but them turning out to be your boss made it ten times more worse. And on top of that he had to go and let his blabbering mouth loose and anger that said boss.

Perfect!

He banged his head one last time with a groan of frustration, before any of his new colleagues could express their concerns he lifted his head back up. And he made sure whatever negative emotions he was feeling at that moment didn’t taint his practiced fake smile. He opened the big red binder Akaashi-san had handed him with a sympathetic smile. 

Why sympathetic, you ask? 

Well because Yamaguchi’s lovely boss had made him read the entire game development history of the company as his first assignment. Yamaguchi was not supposed to touch his computer system (unless it was to research about the company, that bastard had said with his stupid smile plastered over his face) until he had finished all the five giant (not to mention extremely heavy) binders. And when Yamaguchi had asked, because he couldn’t stop his traitorous mouth, if he had a deadline. The bastard had looked at him with his hazel eyes darkening and with a smirk he told Yamaguchi to take as long as he wanted, because once he finished there was more material waiting for him to read.

Yamaguchi understood that this was a punishment of some kind, but he couldn’t remember what horrible thing he must have done in his past life to land into this nightmare. Work would’ve been perfect. Work should’ve been perfect. 

Yamaguchi took a deep breath in. He had made his decision. He was not going to let this small (not small in any way but he was going to treat it like that.) hindrance stop him from enjoying his work life.

-X-

It was lunch by the time he got halfway through the binder and his stomach was yelling at him violently. He was trying to retrieve the location of the cafeteria he had retained while Akaashi-san was giving the tour, when someone tapped his shoulders.   

For a second the stranger’s face threw Yamaguchi into a frenzy (did he know this person’s name? Did this person need anything from Yamaguchi? But he wasn’t allowed to touch his system until he was finished with his binders. How was he going to explain this to a total stranger?) until the stranger opened his mouth.

“You’re the new kid right?” the stranger inquired in a dull voice. Before Tadashi could answer, the stranger continued in his bored voice “I’m Futakuchi Kenji, we’re in the same team. Akaashi told me to introduce you to the team over lunch because he got tied up in a meeting.” 

“Ah-Yes I- I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi. Nice to meet you” Tadashi fumbled in his seat as he bowed in greeting. Yamaguchi looked up frantically when he heard the chuckle. Brown eyes peaked over from Futakuchi's shoulders. When they caught Yamaguchi's eyes they widened a bit and leaned further. The eyes then crinkled and introduced themselves as Nametsu Mai.

“I was hoping for another female in the team.” Nametsu-san pouted. Yamaguchi laughed awkwardly at the proclamation and hoped the silence would dissolve itself.

“We were going to have lunch at this onigiri shop across the street. Wanna join?” Futakuchi-san asked.

Tadashi could feel his dying excitement coming back to life, if he ignored Kuroo (and the fact that he was his boss, and that he was probably going to torture Yamaguchi for the rest of his life and that Yamaguchi was not allowed to work for god knows how long)  then everything was fine. The rest of his team looked nice enough to make friends with and the head of the department had taken a liking to him, everything was going to be fine. 

Everything would be fine. 

That’s what Tadashi kept repeating to himself. For the entire ride down the elevators and the walk across the street, Yamaguchi ignored the conversation between his two colleagues and focused on stopping the tears before they made their way up towards his eyes.  

Everything would be fine. It wasn’t a big deal. Tadashi was just overreacting. It wasn’t a big deal. He had been through worse, he could manage this. It wasn’t a big deal. He was fine, everyone else liked him. It wasn’t a big deal if there was one person who hated Yamaguchi’s existence. It wasn’t a big deal.

“Yamaguchi-san!” the hand over his shoulders felt heavy and menacing. It made him jump. Nametsu-san took her hand back in surprise “I didn’t mean to startle you! I thought- you just looked like you were about to cry. Are you okay?”

“Yes I’m fine!” Yamaguchi could tell his watery voice did nothing to reassure his two worried colleagues. 

“We’re here” Futakuchi-san gestured at the cartoon onigiri sign hanging over a set of old fashioned shoji doors. “We usually have lunch with a couple of people from the design team. You okay with that?“

“Ah-” Yamaguchi had no choice but to agree anyway “Sure!”

When he was inside the restaurant and the owner had shouted a hasty welcome from behind the counter, did Yamaguchi realize that he had been there before. Or to a similar restaurant with the same name and the same owner, back when he was visiting his aunt in Hyogo.

It was a long time ago, he had just finished high school and his aunt wanted to treat him for that. But Yamaguchi could tell this restaurant felt exactly like the one in Hyogo, with the smell of cooked rice and tuna in the air. Although this one looked busier, Tadashi for a second prayed that there wouldn’t be enough seats for all of them to sit. But that prayer was not heard because he was led to the last booth, where a table full of food and two new faces waited.

“We ordered for you two, I hope you don’t-” The face with the blonde hair said when she caught sight of  Nametsu-san, but clamped her mouth shut when she saw the new addition. The blonde girl looked at Yamaguchi with anxiety in her eyes. “I didn’t know there would be guest”

Tadashi felt an urge to apologize, he never wanted to intrude. He bowed his head, ready to leave the restaurant.

“This is Yamaguchi Tadashi. The new hire” He felt a strong pat on his back, which made him stumble into the table in surprise.

“I thought you guys were getting two new people.” Tadashi looked at the person sitting across from the blonde girl. Even though the question was addressed to Yamaguchi’s colleagues, the person’s eyes were on Tadashi. Its gaze didn’t make his skin crawl like he thought it would. The face was expressionless, but Tadashi had experience in that particular area (all thanks to his salty bestfriend) so he could tell the person was just curious. 

“Yeah the other one is coming tomorrow, there was some problem in the mail” Nametsu-san explained, as she guided Tadashi to sit down beside the expressionless person.

After what felt like eternity of silence, during which Tadashi debated if he should just get up and leave, Futakuchi-san introduced the rest of the two to him. The blonde, who looked even more nervous than him (which was a surprise to be honest) was Yachi Hitoka. And the one who reminded him so strongly of Tsukki went by the name Suna Rintaro.

“So how’s your first day going?” Suna-san turned to look at him. Yamaguchi was uncomfortable with how close he was sitting, wedged between Suna-san and Nametsu-san, bumping shoulders when either of them moved.

“Oh it’s-” Yamaguchi knew that the question was rhetorical, it was just a conversation starter. This stranger beside him was not interested in how his day was actually going. But for a moment Tadashi wanted to rant his heart out, for everyone on the table to hear. “- going great” 

Futakuchi-san laughed at his answer, not believing his words. “Tell us Yamaguchi-san. What did you do to piss Tetsurou-san off?”

Tadashi waited for the members of the design team to let their grasps of shock before answering. “I might have reacted badly when I saw him” an awkward chuckle “He was my senior in high school” the statement made the entire table choke and exclaim their surprise.

“Oh boy- what was that like?”

“Were you friends?”

“Was he an asshole back then too?”

The only person who didn’t start asking him a hundred questions was Yachi-san, who kept looking at him with a mixture of panic and sympathy. Which Yamaguchi was grateful for.

“We weren’t friends.” That was the only question he answered.

“I bet he was a good senpai though, despite being a menace.” Nametsu-san commented. 

Tadashi picked at his food, trying to force his mind to say something, anything , good about Kuroo Tetsurou. It wasn’t like the bastard was all bad. He w as a great senpai, just not for Yamaguchi. 

Yamaguchi had seen the raven head help a lot of his underclassmen without any resistance, he had even helped Tsukki to get his love for volleyball back. That’s why it was so hard for Tadashi to hate him in the beginning. 

And Tadashi knew that most people did like Kuroo, even with the fact that he could be a little too much sometimes. So he swallowed all his anger and resentment and said "Yeah he was."

"He's like that with us too," Nametsu-san said with a chuckle, gaze forced on the food in front of her. "He gets all bossy and mean sometimes but he's really helpful and caring too. He's a tsundere!"

"You'll get used to him over time" Futakuchi-san gave him a smile from across the table, forgetting the fact that Yamaguchi knew Kuroo. And he never got used to that bastard.

-X-

He had planned on plopping face down on his bed when he got back into his apartment but his phone buzzed in his pocket. And there was only one person who called him at 7:05 sharp.

“Tsuuuuukkkiii” Yamaguhci whined into his phone.

“That bad?” Yamaguchi smiled back at Tsukki's emotionless voice.

Tadashi let out a groan in answer. 

“I’m assuming he’s still the same asshole he was back in high school” Tsukki asked.

“Oh somehow he got worse. Although everyone else on the team seems to like him” Yamaguchi loosened his tie as he slipped his dress shoes off. “I said something stupid when I saw him and I’m pretty sure he got offended and now he’s not letting me do any work”

“Is that allowed?”

“Apparently yes” He opened the refrigerator door to search for something to eat, but closed it immediately when he found it empty “What about you? How’s training going?”

"Oh don't ask" there was a heavy sigh from the other side of the phone, which raised Yamaguchi's concerns "The coach said something about bulking up before the season starts."

"How's that going?" Yamaguchi asked, sinking into his couch with a defeated exhale, thoughts of dinner leaving his mind.

"Not great." Was the only answer Tsukishima gave "oh I'm curious by the way. Does Kuroo-san still have that weird rooster hair?" 

Yamaguchi threw his head back in laughter "Yes! Yes he does! His hair is a lot shorter though" 

For an instance, between the hate and old memories his mouth said something that he was avoiding thinking all day. A thought that shook Tadashi to his core. "But he looks good"

It took a second for Tsukki to respond, during which Tadashi choked in mortification. 

"I don't know why I said that" Tadashi tried to cover it up "I'm probably tired. I'll just sleep this off"

"Yeah you probably had a long day," Kei said sympathetically, which sounded fake to Tadashi.

"I'll call you tomorrow. Bye!" Tadashi could tell his voice was squeaky and high. 

He didn't want to think about it. He was trying so hard not to think about it. His stupid treacherous mouth didn't know when to stop. Yamaguchi let out a sigh and hoped that tomorrow would be better.

"WHO SMOKED CIGARETTES? YOU UNGRATEFUL RATS! WHO WAS IT?" Nakamura-san's booming voice penetrated through his walls and he let out a painful sob. 

This was probably the worst day of his life.

-X-

The second day wasn't going to be any better, he could tell. He couldn't sleep (because his neighbors kids decided that this was a good time to take up smoking habits) and he missed his train (because he couldn't sleep) and when he finally got to work there was someone new sitting beside his desk.

The man had piercing emerald eyes and a downturned mouth. With silver hair that looked white under the fluorescent lights. When Yamaguchi sat down on his own desk the person gave him a smile that made Tadashi wonder if the man was a foreigner.

"Hi! Good morning!" Says the foreign looking guy in perfect Japanese. "I'm Haiba Lev. I'm new here."

Something pinged in his head "oh yes Akaashi-san mentioned you yesterday." He looked around for the said man but found all of his teammates' desks empty.

"The email mentioned the wrong dates or else I would've been here yesterday" The foreigner grinned.

Yamaguchi was surprised how lively talking to the man felt, despite how intimidating the face looked.

“I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi by the way. We’re in the same team” Yamaguchi introduced, extending his hand in greeting.

“I know” Lev grinned wider. “I was waiting for you. The rest of the team is in the meeting room A, I was told to take you there once you arrived”

“Oh I wasn’t informed about a meeting” But he was already taking his notebook and pen from his bag, following Lev to the lifts.

“It’s something about a formal introduction.” Lev laughed “I’m not sure either”

Yamaguchi studied his new colleague (and soon to be friend. Hopefully. If his mouth stayed shut) while they waited for the lift to arrive. Lev was tall, even taller than Tsukki (which was a shock in itself), with silky platinum blonde hair (he had an urge to touch it). The eyes were the ones that yelled foreign to Yamaguchi. His eyes were smaller than most of the people, with a beautiful emerald color. Yamaguchi thought that Lev looked more like a model than a game developer.

“So do you like the office?” Yamaguchi asked, before his mind had the time to think insecure thoughts.

“Yes! I love it!” Lev grinned back (for some reason the constant smiling was starting to irritate Tadashi) “I even saw a cute intern in the lift!”

Tadashi nodded with a polite smile, not sure what the appropriate response to the proclamation would be when something clicked in his mind “The company doesn’t do internship programs”

“You sure?” Lev didn’t look like he believed Yamaguchi.

“Yeah, I researched. I would’ve applied here if they did” Yamaguchi explained, getting a little impatient with the wait.

“Huh but the intern- the guy he looked really young to be working here so I assumed he was an intern” 

Yamaguchi opened his mouth to reply (reply what exactly? he wasn’t sure) but was interrupted with the lift door opening. His eyes zeroed to the bright blue tie with cartoon onigiri all over it (you’ll have to agree they did look a bit ridiculous) and he couldn’t help the snort.

“Saw something funny, freckles?” The tie-owner asked with his evil smile and hazel eyes (which Yamaguchi tried not to linger on).

“No! Nothing- I’m sorry Kuroo-san” Here he was again, stumbling over his words because of that bastard.

“Let’s not start this again shall we? Get in both of you” Kuroo (-san) ushered them both in, although Lev was already standing beside him. “We’re going to the same place”

“Here” Kuroo extended his hands, lifting the cup carrier "I bought one for everyone. I didn't know your preference so I got you both latte"

Lev took one without hesitation. But Yamaguchi deliberated, "Actually I-"

There was something about those hazel eyes that made him pause. They looked tired of Yamaguchi's antics, and it didn't sit right with Yamaguchi. "It's nothing, Thank you Kuroo-san" 

Yamaguchi caught Lev’s eye and Tadashi found himself communicating with his new colleague. Lev could tell with the reluctance in Yamaguchi's voice and the wrinkle of his nose that Yamaguchi didn't like coffee. Yamaguchi had a hunch, with the way the evil smile stayed on, that Kuroo knew of that fact too.

There was a reason Yamaguchi hated coffee.

 ___

8 years ago

Somehow he had gotten in the club, don't ask him how he doesn't know either. He was shocked to see his name on the list but he pretended to be happy for Tsukki’s sake. Practice was on full throttle from the start, they had to run uphill for warmups and then had to do receive drills. It was difficult, he'll agree but at the same time he couldn’t hate the sport. It had so many pleasant memories attached to it.

School started right after the summer and there was still a little heat left in the air. Heat and Yamaguchi didn't go well together. He was naturally a sweaty person, but in the summer he would find himself getting drenched.

It was right before the bell signaled the end of lunch, he was running back to class in a hurry. He remembered having a big smile on his face as he ran back, because he had made new friends. 

It was a known fact to whoever came across Yamaguchi (and Tsukishima) that he was bad at making friends (and that’s why both of them had none). But when the orange haired kid (Hinata) had asked him to join lunch he was elated, even though the same invitation wasn’t extended towards Tsukki. (And before you judge him for going even though his best friend wasn’t invited. He did decline the offer in the beginning but Kei was the one who forced him to go).

He was running up the stairs, two at a time and huffing with effort when he crashed into someone standing on top of the stairs. It happened so fast, he remembers the pain in his shin when he landed a few steps down after the crash and the warm liquid that was splashed on his torso during the collision. 

And the smell of coffee. 

His first thought had been, why would anyone in school drink coffee. During lunch and not in the morning. He remembers judging the person for their drink choice when he registered the voice.

“Do you have a thing for bumping into people? Or are you just blind?”

He couldn’t understand back then. Why Kuroo Tetsurou hated him so much. It wasn’t because Tadashi was the easiest one to bully, he was sure of that. Because Kuroo’s own best friend was a victim of bullying and the raven head had given an entire speech on the first day on anti-bullying. (Now when Tadashi looks back he can only snort at the irony).

He was too focused on the pain in his leg to reply back but he did offer a sympathetic look. Kuroo was looming right over his head, wiping the stain where the coffee had splashed him. The hazel orbs had darkened and adding the evil smile into the picture, it made him look menacing.  

“I’m sorry I wasn’t looking” His own words made him cringe. He knew, the instant they left his mouth that they were the wrong things to say.

“I can tell” Kuroo jeered, the laughter behind the raven head made Yamaguchi realize the presence of two additional people. Who had also witnessed the mess Yamaguchi had made.

There were two more third years with Kuroo in the club, and Yamaguchi liked both of them. When they were not with Kuroo. 

Oikawa Tooru was a menace himself, but he wasn’t as bad as the captain. The only difference they both had in being assholes was that Oikawa-senpai did it with everyone (including the rest of the third years) and Kuroo’s guinea pig would always be Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi didn’t have much problem with Sugawara Koushi, you could say that the silver head was the only senpai Yamaguchi liked. Suga-senpai was acclaimed ‘Mother’ of the club. But with the rest of the two Suga-san would show a little of his mean bone. 

“Did you get hurt Tadashi?” Suga-senpai offered his hand to Yamaguchi, concern laced in his voice. Yamaguchi focused on his leg as he got up, leaning heavily on his senpai, as he tried to find any signs of serious injuries.

“Would you like us to take you to the infirmary?” 

Tadashi shook his head in answer, he had other concerns that he needed to focus on. His sticky, stained and wet shirt was on the top of his priority list. “I’m fine Suga-senpai. I should- I'll get going"

The hand came out of nowhere and it gripped Yamaguchi’s forearm tight. “Where do you think you’re going?” 

“I-ugh back to class” Yamaguchi replied in a hurry, even though he wasn’t going to class now that he was sopping wet and sticky.

“And what about my coffee” for some reason Kuroo was whispering with his face too close to Tadashi’s and it made the latter extremely uncomfortable. “You should buy me one. As an apology.” The words were shaped as a suggestion but they felt like a command. 

“But-” Tadashi always had a bad habit of not knowing when to say no.

“That’s too much Tetsuro let the poor boy go” Suga-san intercepted, removing Kuroo’s hand from Yamaguchi.

“I’m not asking him to buy it with his own money. I’ll give him the money, he just has to run down and get it for me” the smile was back, menacing as ever. “If he wants to stay in the club”

“He’s not your errand boy Testsuro” Suga-san turned to Yamaguchi with a soft smile “Don’t listen to him Tadashi, he can’t throw you out of the club”

Here’s the thing, Yamaguchi didn’t care about staying in the club, he only went for Tsukki. But he couldn’t bring himself to say no to those hazel eyes. Years later he would wonder what exactly had brought the fear. Years later he would wonder what it was about Kuroo Tetsurou that made Tadashi do things just for his little approval.

“I’ll go”

And he did go. Ran all the way and by the time he got back with it he was sticky, sweaty and smelled of coffee (an extremely odd combination you wouldn’t want to experience). The bell had rang and he had no choice but to go back to class with his coffee stained shirt. 

When you get older you don’t feel a thing about having coffee stains on your shirt. You can just let out an embarrassed laugh and explain to people, and most of the time no one bats an eye. But for his pubescent self that coffee stain for the rest of the day was the most humiliating thing that could happen to him.

Even though he showered after the practice he went home still haunted with the smell of coffee.

Chapter Text

Akaashi was an observant person, everyone around told him so (especially his boyfriend, who for some reason didn’t like that part of his personality).

It wasn’t a skill that Keiji would call an asset but it did come handy in unexpected places. Like in the meeting he was sitting in, he could feel the awkward air around and unlike the rest of his colleagues he knew the reason for it. 

He had worked under Kuroo for a year now, so he was confident when he said he knew Kuroo and the type of person he was. But when Yamaguchi entered the picture, Kuroo changed. 

Keiji couldn’t explain the change, couldn’t put a finger on what changed either. He had asked Futakuchi and Nametsu but they didn’t notice anything different. So Akaashi had tried to ignore the weirdness around the two and focus on his own problems for once.

But it was hard. Hard to ignore when Yamaguchi, the cute kid with a gentle smile, turned into a nervous wreck around Kuroo. And Kuroo, a good boss most of the time, turned into a tyrant.

During the entire meeting Yamaguchi kept fidgeting beside him. Akaashi felt the need to check up on the freckled kid. In a way he felt responsible for Yamaguchi. He tried to catch Yamaguchi's eyes while Kuroo droned about the project details they would be working on. But the kid didn’t lift up his head the entire meeting, and kept scribbling in his notebook.

"So that's the progress so far" Kuroo concluded, finishing his presentation "Haiba-kun you'll work with Kenji with the testing. Nametsu and Akaashi you finish up the design and hopefully we'll be able to present the beta version by next week"

Akaashi opened his mouth to object to the role division but Yamaguchi had beaten him to it "Um- Kuroo-san what am I supposed to do?"

Akaashi frowned as he watched Kuroo's eyes glint. Kuroo was a great boss (even though it pained Akaashi to admit it) and Keiji had never seen him discriminate between any of the team members before.

"You already have a job don't you?" Kuroo had an unpleasant tone when he addressed Yamaguchi  "You're supposed to read all that data"

Kuroo looked like he wanted Yamaguchi to argue back, like he was itching for a fight to break out. Akaashi furrowed his eyebrows further, there was something clearly wrong with his boss. Keiji debated if he should take the matter to Yaku-san, if both Kuroo and Yamaguchi couldn’t stand each other then it was better to place Yamaguchi in a different team.

Yamaguchi was shaking a little, with rage or nervousness Akaashi couldn’t quite place. But the freckled kid didn’t disagree further. Keiji caught Mai looking at him with the same confused expression he was adorning on his own. Mai tilted her head towards their boss, raising her eyebrows in question. Should we say something?   Akaashi shook his head in answer, he was planning on confronting Kuroo after the meeting.

“Alright all of you get back to work. I need progress by the end of the day”

Yamaguchi was the first one to get up, he didn’t look at anyone as he clutched his notebook to his chest and stormed out in a hurry. Akaashi watched the door as the rest left, he could feel his temper rise up. Tadashi had great potential, Akaashi had seen his resume. And Keiji didn’t want to admit it out loud but he was slowly developing a soft spot for the kid.

Keiji turned to look at Tetsurou when it was just the two of them in the meeting room. “What was that?”

“What?” Kuroo looked at him innocently, it did nothing to extinguish Keiji’s internal fury.

“Why do you keep torturing the poor kid?” Akaashi liked to believe that he saw a hint of guilt in Kuroo’s eyes. “If you don’t like him just send him to a different team! There’s an opening in Moniwa-san’s team. At least he’ll get some actual work there. You do know that the kid can probably sue you for this behavior right?”

Kuroo had the conscience to look guilty “I did go a little overboard, didn’t I?” After Akaashi gave him a firm nod as a confirmation he said “Look just go back and tell him to work on the bugs”

“Why didn’t you say that yourself?” Keiji wasn't someone who got irritated easily. Besides he knew how deeply annoying Kuroo could be but it never affected Akaashi. But this entire situation gave him an unscratchable itch under his skin.

“It was- Keiji-” Kuroo whined, but he could sense that Akaashi wasn't going to let it go “I was being childish. I realize it now. Just- just tell him he doesn’t have to read the binder anymore”

There was definitely something behind the particular tone Kuroo was using. “What the hell is this about Tetsurou?”

“I’ll tell you, I promise. I’ll explain the entire thing but right now I have a meeting with Yakkun and you know how he gets when someone is late”

“Are we getting a new project?” And in the moment Akaashi forgot about his previous irritation 

“Hopefully” Kuroo smiled back, guilt still evident on his face.

-x-

Tadashi was in hell. He was sure of it. All the signs pointed to it. He didn't understand why the universe was torturing him, first it was Kuroo and his boss privileges and now it was Haiba Lev.

Well if he had to put all the things into a worst things list, he was sure Kuroo would be on the top but surprisingly his new work colleague was not far behind. 

From the moment they left the meeting room Lev has rambled on in the speed that Tadashi couldn't keep up with. The far too tall colleague (even taller than Tsukki, which bothered Tadashi for no particular reason) would ask questions after questions, not bothering to wait for an answer. Tadashi labeled that as an excitement of the first day and gave the guy the benefit of doubt. 

“So what’s the deal with you and the boss?” Lev asked as they both sat down at their desks. Tadashi waited for a second, hoping that this question would also be lost in the series of questions Lev asked, but there was dead silence after the question was fired and he could feel a pair of eyes (which he was absolutely sure belonged to Nametsu-san) poking at the back of his head.

“Nothing” Tadashi brushed it with an air of nonchalance, although he knew no one was going to believe him.

"But in the elevator-" Lev started again. It frustrated Yamaguchi to no end. 

"It's just!" Yamaguchi slammed his hand on the desk, making the other two members of his team turn in surprise (even though the both were eavesdropping since the beginning) "In the elevator Kuroo-san offered me coffee. I'm not a big fan of coffee but I couldn't say no to him. That's all"

"You could've told him you didn't like coffee," Lev suggested, not caring about the awkward silence around him.

"He's my boss" (and besides he was pretty sure Kuroo already knew he hated coffee) "what am I supposed to do when he bought coffee for me? With his own money!" Tadashi hated the fact that he had to defend Kuroo when that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Yamaguchi-kun" Futakuchi-san's compassionate voice made Yamaguchi grit his teeth, compassion meant pity. He didn't want anyone's pity. "He would've understood if you just told him about your drink preference. He's not a bad boss."

Yeah, he was not a bad boss but he made Yamaguchi read through old data which probably was not related to any of their projects. Yes, he was not a bad boss but he purposefully gave him coffee when he knew Tadashi hated coffee. Yes, Kuroo Testsrou was a great boss but not to Tadashi.

"I know he has been a little-" Nametsu-san scrunched her eyebrows, trying to find the right word "-weird lately but once you guys settle in it will be back to normal." Yamaguchi scoffed in his head, normal and Kuroo didn't go well together.

“Or you could just ignore him,” Futakuchi-san shrugged. “That’s what we do when he gets on our nerves.”  Tadashi could feel a smile fighting its way to his lips.

“Tadashi-kun” Akaashi-san called out the moment he entered, taking long strides towards their cubicles “How good would you say your debugging skills are?” Akaashi-san asked with an artful smile.

“Uh- they’re okay. But I’m always open to learning,” Yamaguchi answered automatically, which earned him an amused laugh from all his seniors.

“Alright then. Today you’ll learn how to debug” 

Excitement pooled into Tadashi’s stomach, but the thought of hazel eyes smirking down at him turned the excitement into anxiety. “But what- what about the report? I have to read the binder for-” he asked, not daring himself to hope for anything positive.

“Don’t worry about that” The question was dismissed with a wave of hand “But if you really want to make that report, which I’m pretty sure would end up in trash the moment you submit it, you’re free to do so. But if you ask me you’re missing an excellent opportunity of being a part of a great project”

There was no way Tadashi would waste an opportunity like this even if deep down he was still scared of a disapproving pair of hazel eyes.

"Alri-" his answer was cut short when the glass doors of the office opened with a loud swish.

"Has anyone seen Kuroo? We're supposed to go to a budget meeting! Where the hell is that asshole?" Yaku walked over towards their row of cubicles when he caught sight of Akaashi. Yamaguchi could feel the fumes of anger wafting from the shorter man. 

"He's already in the meeting room," Akaashi-sam replied with grace. Tadashi wondered how someone could be so calm and collected in front of someone so close to losing this composure.

Tadashi felt a tug on his sleeve, when he turned to investigate he found Lev's giant eyes looking back at him in excitement. "That's him" Lev whispered (or tried to but failed miserably) "The intern I saw earlier."

"That's not-" Yamaguchi choked in shock. He heard everyone around him fall silent.

"Excuse me?" there was rage. Pure, absolute rage behind Yaku-san's expressionless face.

"You're an intern right?" Lev asked with a giant smile on his face. "I mean you have to be in high school. Or maybe middle school but I don't think this company takes middle schoolers" Tadashi hissed in surprise, how could someone be so dense? How could someone not read the room? How did this guy get a job?

"Intern?" Yaku-san asked through clenched teeth, the vein pulsing on his forehead looked ready to burst. "I'm not an intern. I am- what- what's your name kid?"

"Kid?" Lev snorted "I'm pretty sure I'm older than you."

"My god Lev. Stop talking" Akaashi interrupted. It was the first Tadashi had seen him raising his voice, or even looking anything but calm. "I'm so sorry Mori-san. He's new here. I'll make sure to discipline him later."

Yaku-san had walked over to Lev's desk, face still expressionless. Tadashi was sure people from the other teams were peaking over to assess the situation (and he was also sure everyone else had fear written all over their faces).

"Listen here kid" Yaku-san sounded chillingly calm, pushing Lev's chair to face him "I am not an intern. I'm the head of this department. Get that straight in your head. And next time you call me a middle schooler I'll kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit down for an entire month. Am I clear?"

The next couple of words that came out of Lev's mouth gave Yamaguchi an almost heart attack (and knocked Lev on top of his worst things list). "You're cute"

Ignoring Futakuchi-san's loud laugh, everyone else in the office sported matching shocked expressions (including Yaku-san). A side eye from Akaashi-san and a smack on the back of his head from Mai was enough to shut Futakuchi-san's snigger.

"You-" Mori-san looked flustered as he tried to take a couple of steps back "did you not hear me? I'm your boss. You're not allowed to call me cute"

"But you are cute" Tadashi was sure with the way Lev was smirking that the silver head was enjoying the conversation. 

"Lev I swear to god-" Akaashi exclaimed, fingers pinching his eyebrows in frustration.

"I don't have time for this, I have a meeting to attend" Yaku-san eyed the entire office, warning left unsaid "Akaashi I'll let you handle this one"

Futakuchi-san resumed his laugh the moment Yaku-san was out of the glass doors, this time half of the office chimed in (including Nametsu-san).

-x-

"He did what!?" Yachi looked ready to pass out any minute as she clutched her chest in shock.

"Called Yaku-san a middle schooler" Futakuchi-san waited for the words to sink in before adding "and cute"

"But he is cute " Lev had the audacity to look confused at their outrage. "does anyone know if he's single?"

Nametsu-san hadn't stopped laughing since she sat down with her lunch, and Akaashi-san had given up on trying to salvage the situation. The two members of the design department had looked shell shocked as Futakuchi-san recalled the events of the morning.

"He's single" Nametsu-san answered in between her chuckles "if you try hard enough you might get a chance"

"Don't give him ideas Mai" Akaashi sighed between bites of his food. They had their lunch in the office cafeteria this time, which disappointed Tadashi's stomach because he was looking forward to eating from Onigiri Miya. But it still felt cozy, with everyone chattering about their day.

"I already like you" Suna smirked at Lev from across the table.

Tadashi had witnessed Akaashi-san lecturing Lev in the morning about proper work etiquettes but he was sure Lev didn't really care about the etiquettes, and he was pretty sure Akaashi-san knew that too. After the fifth time Lev blurted out something he wasn't supposed to, Akaashi had stopped trying.  

Lev was totally different from Yamaguchi, he was bold and outspoken (sometimes extremely wild) and confident enough to ask questions (a skill Yamaguchi would kill to have). It was difficult to talk to his new colleague because of their differences but Lev reminded him a little bit of Hinata (emphasis on 'a little' because he was sure Hinata was wilder than Lev).

Yamaguchi was also jealous of how easily Lev made friends with everyone. He watched with envy as Lev conversed with Yachi about the games he played at home. It wasn't like Yamaguchi had trouble making friends, he was proud of his friend-making skills. But seeing Kuroo after eight years had shaken all his skills into a frenzy (and he wasn’t going to recover any time soon).

Everyone else had immersed themselves into their own conversations when he felt something poking his foot from under the table as he ate his lunch. Suna-san was looking at him, with his face cupped in his hands and a smile playing over his lips. "I saw your Instagram account," he said when he caught Yamaguchi's attention.

Tadashi felt his heart beating faster in his chest. There was something similar in the way Suna-san was looking at him. Something that was clearly made for mocking. 

"I saw your Zoro cosplay," Suna-san continued. Tadashi was grateful that no one else on the table was paying attention to the two in the corner, because if Suna-san was going to tease him at least no one would witness.

"Oh yeah I- I do cosplay sometimes" It was so hard to form words when his mind was reminding him about the last time someone mentioned his cosplay.

"It was kinda cool" 

Tadashi knew not everyone was like that bastard but after what he went through he had developed a serious case of trust issues and even a small compliment shocked him. He knew Suna-san was nothing like Kuroo but he couldn't help imagining the mock behind that compliment. He couldn't stop imagining the stupid smirk behind his eyelids.

"Oh don't tell me!" Yamaguchi froze at the sound of an unexpected voice. He was imagining it. He was sure of it. He was imagining that stupid voice. That bastard wasn't here. He was imagining "You're still an otaku freckles?"

Yamaguchi was sure he was imagining it. But everyone else on the table had gone quiet and there was a shadow falling over his shoulders. And Akaashi-san was giving him the same sympathetic look he had given Tadashi in the meeting. 

"I remember you being a fan of sailor moon back in high school." Yamaguchi pressed his lips together as felt an empty chair slide beside him. The bastard had a way of sneaking up on Yamaguchi when he was starting to have fun, as if to remind him of his past. Yamaguchi didn't have to turn to feel the hazel eyes pierce him.

___

8 years ago

Anime Expo was around the corner and he still hadn't finished his costume. He was clearly nervous. It was his first anime convention, he had every right to be nervous. He had begged his mother to get him a costume but he was blatantly ignored. So he had vowed to himself that he would make one for himself, no matter how small (or ugly).

"Why don't you just do something simple? Like something from Free! or Kuroko? Sports anime are easy to cosplay." Tsukki suggested in between drills.  Yamaguchi hasn't mentioned anything about the costume to Tsukki, but his best friend had caught on to his nervous jitters.

"But I haven't watched any sports anime. I'll feel like a fraud if I dress like someone I don't even know" Tadashi replied, still huffing from the run.

"What's the big deal? If you don't have any ready just go without one" Tsukki exclaimed, his eyes fixed something over Tadashi's shoulder.

"I just wanted to do it once. It looks so inviting! Like you're part of something" He grinned back at Tsukki's narrowed eyes.

"Whatever makes you happy I guess" even though Tsukki's shrug was nonchalant, Tadashi knew his friend was being considerate. Why would Tsukishima agree to something he obviously hated if he wasn't being nice.

Yamaguchi grinned back at his best friend but Tsukki was still staring at something over his shoulder, which made him curious enough to turn around. 

In the crowd huddled in the corner the first thing Yamaguchi's eyes landed on were the sharp and angry eyes of Kuroo Testurou. He was still confused about why Kuroo-senpai hated him so much, and he was too scared to ask. He didn’t understand why he was made to do extra drill when he was not even a starter. Other people in the team had started to notice the shameless discrimination Yamaguchi faced from the hands of their captain. But Tsukishima was the only one who stood up for him, arguing with Kuroo on unjust commands. There were many nights when Tadashi had gone home with blistered hands and cried himself to sleep. He couldn’t tell anyone, especially not Tsukii, about his hardships. Mostly because no one would believe him, because for everyone else Kuroo was a great captain, because everyone else loved their captain. So Tadashi had no choice but to sew his lips shut.

“You two!” Kuroo yelled from the corner of the gym, making everyone else turn to stare at Yamaguchi and Tsukishima “What the hell are you two gossiping about?”

Here's the thing, Yamaguchi didn’t quite understand it but since the day they met he had done everything to win Kuroo’s approval. If Kuroo liked him then maybe he would be less mean. 

“Oh we were just talking about the anime convention” Tadashi tried to make his voice cheerful. Tsukishima behind him clicked his tongue in disapproval. Tadashi wasn’t ashamed of his otaku side and no one really pestered him about his interests. Until that day.

“Aren’t you a little old to watch cartoons?” The mean glint was still visible from across the court. 

“IT IS NOT-” Tadashi realized a little late that he was shouting but the damage was done. Everyone in the court was gawking at him now “they’re not cartoons. They are-”

“Whatever it is freckles” Kuroo had a bad habit of cutting in between Yamaguchi’s sentences, like he didn’t really care about what Tadashi had to say. “If you have time to talk about cartoons then you can run another drill”

“But we just finished one” Tsukishima complained at the same time Suga-senpai called out “They just finished a drill Kuroo! Cut them some slack”

Suga-san gave them a nod and everyone else went back to what they were doing, except for the rest of the day Yamaguchi could feel hazel eyes on the back of his head. 

After that day Kuroo took every opportunity he got to tease Yamaguchi for being an otaku. To an extent that Yamaguchi actively started to hide that part of him, which also caused many arguments between him and Kei. To an extent that Yamaguchi decided to not go to the anime convention at all. To an extent that anytime someone asked Yamaguchi about anime he ran a cold sweat.

-X-

Yamaguchi stared back at the same smirk that gave him numerous nightmares. It was a little unsettling that after so many years nothing between had changed. There was still a part of him, buried deep under the rage, that wanted to please Kuroo so he would like him. Nothing had changed.

“Aren’t you an otaku too Kuroo-san?”

Yamaguchi whipped his head to look at the contributor of that question but Yachi was busy staring at Kuroo with a smug face. Maybe something did change.

“I- uh -” it took the bastard a bit of stumbling before he found his words “I never- I never said I wasn’t one. I was just making an observation. Besides, freckles here used to be a big fan, he cosplayed and everything. ”

“Didn’t you dress up as Hawks in the last anime con?” Suna-san pointed out. 

"It was the manga anniversary! It was an important occasion" Never in his twenty two year old life would he have imagined Kuroo Tetsurou to attend an anime convention let alone cosplay in one.

"Hawks?" Tadashi couldn’t stop his treacherous mouth from asking "you've seen my hero academia?" He couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of the situation.

That bastard made Tadashi feel ashamed in his own skin.  For an entire year the same bastard had chastised Tadashi for being an otaku.

"Why do you sound surprised?" Kuroo leaned in to whisper, the stupid evil smirk making an appearance. 

"Well I thought I was too old for cartoons" Tadashi couldn’t help it, he wanted to return the hurt that he had collected. He knew what he was doing was probably wrong and extremely embarrassing but he could only see his past rage and those hazel eyes. 

"MHA is not a cartoon" Tadashi cherished the offended look Kuroo gave back, voice laced with genuine hurt (which surprisingly didn’t please Tadashi as he thought it would) "I think it has one of the finest plots-" The rest of the table groaned in agony, surprising Yamaguchi.

"There he goes again with his ' finest plots' speech." Futakuchi let out a dramatic sob, eyeing Kuroo accusingly. The rest of the group whined in agreement. 

"Once he starts there is absolutely no stopping him" Akaashi answered the unspoken question on Yamaguchi’s face. 

"Remember that one time he started talking about some ship or pairing in the middle of a meeting and Yaku-san had to throw him out?" Mai patted Akaashi’s arms in excitement.  

"Well Bakudeku is the best ship after all" Kuroo defended back. For a moment Yamaguchi could see what everyone else saw. The annoying yet surprisingly nice person Kuroo was. Tadashi couldn’t help but think that the rooster head was indeed just a nerd deep down the bossy exterior. But he remembered all the ordeal he went through the hands of the same rooster head. And just like that his amused smile had soured. 

Yamaguchi registered his own snort a little late. Suna-san tilted his head in question, the half smile on his face motivated Tadashi to speak his mind.

“I would take any ship over bakudeku,” Tadashi stated, looking back at the bastard to gauge his reaction. After he had drunk up the shock on Kuroo’s face he continued “Bakugo practically bullied Deku in middle school. Called him quirkless any chance he got. I don’t understand why everyone just ignores that part so easily. You call physical and verbal abuse romantic?”

Yamaguchi relished in the stunned face of the bastard’s face and the amazed silence of everyone on table as he went back to eating his lunch innocently.

“I think the new hires have a thing for going against the bosses,” Nametsu-san observed with a laugh.

And then all hell broke loose. 

Chapter Text

He had made a mistake. A huge mistake indeed. He was used to ‘bully Kuroo’, he wasn't quite used to the nerd side of him. And apparently that nerd side loved to argue.

Tadashi didn't know which he feared most, the bully or the nerd.

Kuroo had taken Yamaguchi’s opinion to heart and was determined to change that. Which resulted in the rooster head taking every opportunity he got, be it meetings or bathroom breaks, to list out his opinions (‘belief’ would be a better word if you asked me, and ‘a little delusional’ to go in front of it) to Tadashi.  

“Clearly there’s been great character development in Bakugou. You can’t ignore that!” Kuroo pointed his pen accusingly at Tadashi. Everyone else in the meeting room groaned under their breath. Akaashi-san, who was the one presenting their daily update, stood frozen in front of his laptop screen waiting for their boss to stop arguing. 

“I’m not saying he didn’t” Yamaguchi closed his eyes in frustration, gritting his teeth he continued “He’s one of my favorite characters too you know? It’s just the ship, besides I’m not saying it’s not a valid ship. I just don’t care for it. Now can we go back to work please?”

“No but it’s like enemies to lovers. You know how popular that is? Besides the tension-” Kuroo leaned in to emphasize. 

“Kuroo-san?” Mai-san interrupted loudly, her smile looked strained. “Can we concentrate on the updates please? We need to get back so we can start preparing for the presentation.”

“Ah yes” with a click, Kuroo’s face sobered “How much of the testing is left?”

“We’ll be done by the end of the week” Akaashi-san pushed the laptop in Kuroo’s field of vision “Shall I schedule a meeting with Mori-san?” Yamaguchi ignored the silver head beside him perking up at the mention of the name.      

“Yeah yeah you do that” Kuroo waved in agreement, he turned to look at Futakuchi “Kenji finish up with the report and call our analysts. He'll be free next week, make sure to do it by then.”

"I think he'll be here today" Futakuchi said, flipping a couple pages of his planner to check "He has a meeting with Yaku-san about the zombie project"

"Will you stop squirming?" Yamaguchi whispered to Lev when he felt the latter twitch again. 

"Tetsu-san you need to pick one of the rookies for the presentation" Tadashi whipped his back to stare at Mai-san in confusion.

"One of the rookie? But isn't it a big presentation? Wouldn't- wouldn't it be in front of the board?" He asked no one in particular.

"It's like a tradition," Mai-san explained, oblivious to Tadashi's nervousness. "It's the new kids who give all the presentations for their first year in the company."

"But-" 

"Well it's decided then" Kuroo turned to look at Tadashi, eyes filled with challenge "we only have two rookies this year so let's divide the presentations equally. Freckles can take the first one then"

"But- but-"

"Mai you make sure he's prepared for it. After last year my reputation has gone down. I don't want any more embarrassment" Kuroo eyed Akaashi up and down with a frown. Yamaguchi watched as a faint flush spread across Akaashi-san's face. 

He looked back at Nametsu-san, tilting his head in question. She blinked back with a slight smile, mouthing 'later'.

“Anything left?” Kuroo looked at everyone, when his eyes landed at Tadashi his lips turned down in a frown “You. Make sure you don’t mess up.” Yamaguchi had no option but to nod hastily.  

“Don’t worry about it too much, okay?” Mai-san reassured him once they left the meeting room “Don’t let the pressure get to you”

“Or you’ll end up like Keiji,” Futakuchi snorted, fitting himself between Mai and Tadashi.

“I can hear you” Akaashi called out as he walked a couple paces ahead of them. 

“What happened?” Tadashi respected Akaashi the most in his team, but he couldn’t help being curious. At least he had the decency to whisper.

“He was perfectly fine in the beginning but suddenly he started stammering,” Nametsu disclosed. Akaashi-san hadn’t turned around but Tadashi could tell by his stiff shoulders that he could hear them. “The stammering was fine but then he started crying all of a sudden and then ran away in the middle of the presentation.” 

Futakuchi-san’s laughter did nothing to soothe Yamaguchi’s nervousness. He couldn’t imagine the cool and collected Akaashi-san to break down in front of everyone. If someone that calm could break down, then he had no hope left for himself.

“In his defense” Futakuchi said, opening the glass door for Tadashi. “He had a nasty break up the day before.”

“Are you done?” Akaashi asked stiffly, when they reached their desks “Get back to work all of you.”

Yamaguchi tuned out Futakuchi-san’s response when his eyes zeroed on his own desk and the intruder with his hands in his bag. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He cried out.

Lev looked back in surprise, his hands still elbow deep in Tadashi’s bag. The rest of the team had gone silent. Yamaguchi’s eyes were still on his bag when Lev said “I was just looking for an extra pen.”

“Couldn’t you ask first? Or wait for me?” Yamaguchi didn’t wait for a response. “I really hate when people go through my stuff without asking.” 

“I didn’t know” was Lev’s reply, which irritated Tadashi even more. He knew it wasn’t a crime but an apology would’ve been better.

“I’ll appreciate it if you ask me instead of just snooping” Tadashi said a little harshly, which made him regret some of his outburst. 

“Alright” Lev shrugged “Can I have a pen?”

Tadashi closed his eyes in frustration. In the short amount of time he knew Lev, he had figured that the silver head was a little dense and outspoken but sometimes it got extremely annoying to put up with it. He took a deep breath, trying to stop himself from spiraling down the dangerous path his anger wanted him to go.

“Yamaguchi-”Akaashi-san intervened, probably worried about a fight breaking out.

“I’m gonna go get some coffee,” Tadashi declared, turning his heels back towards the glass doors.

“Don’t you hate coffee?” Futakuchi-san called out but he had already left.

-X-

He should’ve blamed his back-stabbing tongue for his outburst. He could’ve handled the situation way better. Lev didn’t know, there was no reason to raise voice. No reason to be annoyed when there was no apology, because it was never Lev’s fault. His past experiences had ruined the way he saw things around him and he couldn’t do much about it other than feel guilty.

Yamaguchi groaned into his hands, recalling the incident made him realize how embarrassing his reaction was. He had taken refuge in the snack room hoping to ride out his embarrassment before facing his team members again. But the universe had other plans.

“Slacking again?” A voice asked from behind, which made Yamaguchi jump in fright. 

“I’m not slacking-” Tadashi tried to defend himself, coming face to face with a multicolored tie.  Why did it have to be him ? Why was he always there when Tadashi was at his lowest? “ Kuroo-san. I was just getting something to drink.”

“Coffee?” The bastard was too close already but he still leaned in, filling Yamaguchi’s nose with a rather strong scent of peaches. “I’ll make you a cup.”

Tadashi was so surprised with the offer that he forgot to decline. And by the time he came back to his senses Kuroo had already added the coffee filter. He watched his boss make coffee as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Kuroo turned to look back at him, the ghost of a smile on his face.

“All this corporate giving is getting me hot under the collar- you?” Kuroo asked, as he handed him the coffee mug.

“Huh?” Yamaguchi croaked in confusion. “Hot? In the middle of January?”

At Tadashi’s response Kuroo had turned his back but Yamaguchi could see the tips of his ears getting red. Maybe it was hot in the office Yamaguchi wondered, taking a sip from his cup and instantly wincing at the bitter taste.  

“Nevermind” Kuroo dismissed, “You tell me why you hate bakudeku so much.”

“Not this again” Yamaguchi groaned, getting ready to leave. “It’s just my opinion.”

“So you have a better ship?” Kuroo asked, following him out of the room. 

“I’m sorry I’m not having this discussion with you anymore” Yamaguchi was surprised to find a small smile on Kuroo's face, he averted his eyes back to his cup.

"Alright" He could still hear the smile in the bastard's voice and it made him even more uncomfortable "Get back to work then. Don't let me catch you slacking again."

"I wasn't slacking!" Yamaguchi tried to explain but his boss was gone, leaving a permanent image of the soft smile in Yamaguchi's mind.

—

8 Years

Tadashi was a diligent student, and at that time it wasn’t something to be proud of but he was proud nevertheless. He was obedient and never cut classes. But that year he craved something rebellious.

He was dabbling with the thought of skipping club practice, not because of someone but because he was feeling ‘rebellious’ (absolutely no other reasons). But it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. No matter how hard he forced himself to do it, his feet would shamelessly carry him back to the same locker room. 

It was one of those days where despite his determined self talk he had ended up in the locker room. And unlike Tadashi, Kei had successfully skipped the practice. He wasn’t particularly keen on facing everyone (no, just the one) on the court. He tried to change as slowly as possible, still hoping to sneak out when everyone else was done.

“Yamaguchi-kun, lock up when you're done changing” Suga-senpai called out as he shoved his uniform back into the locker. Yamaguchi was pretty sure his senior had caught up to Tadashi’s true intentions. But unlike some people, Suga-san didn’t berate him and left the locker room with a wink.

Left alone in the locker room, Yamaguchi found himself back in the clutches of his previous dilemma. Just once, he wanted a normal day. A day where he didn’t have to feel like useless trash. But there was a part (a part he had tried so hard to destroy) of him that wanted to go to the court. He was pretty sure it wasn’t because of volleyball, and he was also sure if he listened to that part of him he would have to face serious consequences.

“Are you skipping too?” a voice whispered into his ears, the breath tickling him. Tadashi jumped in fright, screaming loudly he turned to look at the culprit. The hand clutching his chest loosened when he saw the bright yellow in front of him.    

“Kozume-sam!” Tadashi exclaimed, voice still a little higher than normal “You scared me!”

“I told you not to call me that” Kenma-san whispered, ignoring Yamaguchi “So? Are you skipping or not?”

“Maybe” Tadashi answered hesitantly, his heart was still racing from the spook.

“Well I am” Kozume-senpai looked at him for second before turning away “You’re free to follow me or to go back the gym”

Now that was a tempting offer, he never had a chance to speak to Kozume-senpai before (because of a specific third year always by his side, who Tadashi wanted to avoid at any cost). Kozume-san was someone Tadashi admired from afar, but was too intimidated to actually speak to. Tadashi had watched countless games sitting on the bench and observing the blonde. Kozume-san was a lot like Tsukki (and in Tadashi’s book that made him even more likable).

Yamaguchi was presented with an amazing chance and he was not going to waste (especially not on extra drills and evil eyes). He followed his senpai obediently, after locking up the club room. The walk itself was a little awkward and too silent for Tadashi’s taste, but he didn’t dare to say a word in case he made his senpai change his mind. He considered breaking the silence a couple of times but Kenma-san’s attention was occupied by his nintendo switch (it was quite impressive how he even managed to climb up the stairs with his eyes glued to the screen).

By the time Tadashi mustered enough guts to ask “Eh- where are we going exactly senpai?” They were already at the front of the terrace gate. Kenma looked back at Yamaguchi before returning back to his game, he muttered with a drop of sarcasm “I think we’re almost there” and pushed the gate open with his shoulder.

“Is this place safe?” Yamaguchi asked as he stood hesitantly in front of the door. The roof was empty and gave him a rather spooky feeling.

All he got for an answer was a distracted hum. He was still a little uncertain about entering an offlimit place but winning at least one of his senpai’s approval was high on his priority list. Although to be honest it didn’t look like he was winning in any sense. With Tsukki all he had to do was pay attention to the tone his best friend used but Kenma-san spoke in a monotonous whisper and never really looked up long enough for Yamaguchi to gauge his reactions. 

“Do you come here often?” Yamaguchi asked when he finally sat down beside the blonde (after wrinkling his nose at the dirt, I must add).

He got another hum as a response. Kenma-san had his entire focus on his nintendo, as he sat cross legged on the floor. Yamaguchi wondered why he was offered an invitation when he clearly felt unwelcomed on the serene yet oddly terrifying rooftop. He sat beside the hunched blonde listening to the game ost and humming along. 

“That game looks interesting” Tadashi tried one last attempt to start a conversation but he still received the same hum as an acknowledgment. After that he stopped trying all together and sat back to enjoy the silence. At least this was better than running an extra lap and earning a snide remark for his efforts. They both sat in the very corner of the roof, which served two purposes. To block off the cold wind and to hide them from the line of sight if anyone did make an appearance to check the roof. Yamaguchi didn’t have a watch with him (because Tsukki always carried one) so he didn’t know how much time had passed. But as the sky got darker he debated if it was a good idea to bid farewell and leave. 

“Do you want to try?” Kenma-san asked quietly, eyes still on the screen as he pushed the switch into Tadashi’s hands. 

Tadashi was a little flustered at the sudden question but he did manage to nod (a little too hard that he was sure he pulled a muscle). Kenma-san explained the instructions very patiently, letting him play another round when he lost the level (very miserably). It felt nice. When Kenma-san would whisper tips to help him and not tease him for being an absolute disaster, it felt nice. Tadashi kept smiling as he played the game, feeling touched by the small gesture.  

Until the terrace door opened with a loud creak and made both of them jump.

“You two!” Somehow the intruder knew exactly where to look, like it wasn’t their first time catching someone on the roof “It's cold out here. Come back inside!” In the dark it was quite hard to make out the person’s face but Yamaguchi could recognize that voice anywhere, although it was usually more mean and less caring when it was addressed to him. 

Somehow Yamaguchi was more sad about leaving the company of his senpai than he was being caught skipping practice by their captain. It was when he tried to get up and a sharp pain ran through his joints did he realize how long the two of them had spent.

“Did you like the game?” Kenma looked at him briefly when he took his Nintendo back, eyes disappearing behind his bangs.

“Yes!” Tadashi offered a bright smile, which surprisingly Kenma reciprocated.  

“I'll let you play more tomorrow”

And for the first time since the start of that school year, Yamaguchi had a reason to love school again. 

—

Yaku was a busy man, even though everyone in the office liked to think otherwise. His schedule would be jam packed from the morning till night. Yes he didn’t do the ‘main’ work as some people pointed out but assigning tasks to teams, overlooking those tasks, attending meetings for updates, attending meetings with other head of the departments for synchronization, attending promotional events and sometimes doing interviews kept him extremely busy.

He pretended not to hear what everyone said behind his back. That he was too young for his position and that he didn’t deserve it. If you were to ask him what he thought of this he would scoff and dismiss the case as office jealousy, but deep down it affected him a lot. He had worked his ass off to get to where he was and he wasn’t going to let some lazy geezers dictate his life. 

Maybe in this race to prove his worth to everyone else he had become a perfectionist (not a good one either). He couldn’t risk a single mistake at his expense, because his reputation was on line after all. And so was his ego.

“He’s late,” Yaku muttered under his breath, clicking his pen in irritation. “Did anyone contact him?”

“I called him a minute ago” Moniwa explained, wiping the beads of sweat across his forehead “He was just parking his car”

Yaku tried not to show any more signs of irritation, he didn’t want to give more fuel to his office nickname of ‘Demon’. But the past couple of months had not been good on Morisuke and slowly all the stress started to pile up. This new game was his biggest project so far, it had to be perfect. 

Yaku got up from his chair, making everyone else in the meeting room freeze (an overreaction if you asked me). He pushed the doors open, fishing his own phone from his pocket. He had already clicked on the name tag when his eyes landed on the figure standing in front of the meeting room. A figure Yaku was trying to avoid from the past week. 

Yaku rushed back before the figure noticed him, shutting the doors sofly. 

“Call him again then” Yaku ordered, putting his phone back into his pocket. 

Yaku wasn’t in any way a coward, but lately he had started acting like one. And it was all because of that stupid kid, Haiba Lev. Being disrespected was one thing but being chased around the office was clearly harassment. He wished he could call it that but Lev was nothing but respectful, except with his words.

The kid had caught him alone in the lift once. And Yaku had expected it to be awkward but Lev kept glancing at him with a big smile.

“What?” Yaku asked impatiently, somewhat relieved that there was no one to witness their conversation.

“I read all the company policies” Lev declared proudly.

“Good for you”

“Employees are allowed to date each other. So you and I can date” Lev grinned. 

It took him four long seconds to register the statement and then another three to process it. Then he choked. “What? What the- Lev with all due respect what the fuck are you talking about?”

“I mean you’re single and I’m single. So why not?” Lev shrugged innocently, the annoying smile never leaving his face. Yaku couldn’t quite believe the situation he was in, it was utterly ridiculous, laughable even.

“Lev” He said calmly, trying not to provoke the giant next to him “That’s not how it works. This is- I don’t know how you got this idea but I am your boss’s boss. This is not appropriate.”

“But you’re interested right? You haven’t said no” Lev pointed out. As Yaku opened his mouth to say precisely that, the elevator dinged open. And knowing Lev’s lack of social skills, Yaku was sure the silver head was not going to stop talking with additional ears around. So Morisuke did the only logical thing he could think of. He got off. Three floors before his destination. Just to avoid talking to the annoying kid.

And thus began the game of avoidance.          

“He’s here Mori-san” 

Yaku was brought back to reality by the loud bang of the door closing. For a moment he feared that Lev had followed him in but he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the flash of yellow. 

“You’re late!” he declared, frowning at the newcomer.

“There was traffic” Kenma looked back at him, giving an unapologetic shrug. 

“Whatever, just start with the presentation. We don’t have all day.” Yaku tried to hold on to his anger but he could never really stay mad at Kenma for long (it was something to do with his inner motherly instinct but he would rather die than say that out loud). 

Kenma gave him a curious once over, raising his eyebrows slightly. Yaku knew what the blonde was searching for and he tried best to school his face.

"I see you're doing good." Kenma commented as he took his laptop out, everyone else in the room quietened down. "I haven't seen you since Nobuyuki-kun left."

The sharp intake of breaths at the mention of the name filled the room. He knew he had to face it someday, he just wasn't expecting it to be public.

"Kenma this is a business meeting" Yaku spoke slowly, trying to compose himself. Reminiscing the past was never a good idea, especially a painful one. "Get on with it"

There was a hint of smile on Kenma's face that let Morisuke know that this was a trap and Yaku had successfully bitten the bait. Yaku ignored the not so subtle stares he got from his colleagues and focused on Kenma.

Nobuyuki-kun. Yaku snorted in his head. It had been so long since he heard that name. 

"I think the game is too difficult," Kenma muttered, face hidden behind his now too long bangs. Yaku had half a mind to tell the blonde to cut his hair.

"I don't understand?" Moniwa answered, voice wobbling "In the last meeting you said it was a great game."

"It is," Kenma stated. He was standing at the end of the table not daring to look at anyone.

"Kenma" Yaku used his least commanding voice "Get to the point. Which is it?"

"It's a good game but I think for a beginner the instructions and console would be a little hard to understand."

"But we've already finished with it. We can't possibly change anything, especially not this close to the launch" Narita, who never contributed a single word in the meetings, pointed out. 

"Kenma, why the sudden change?" Yaku asked in confusion. They couldn’t afford to change an entire design, especially when the promotional events would start next month. It would be a disaster (and all the higher ups would get another reason to point out Yaku's inexperience).

"First time I played it was as a game itself. I wasn't trying to analyze it like you wanted me to. I just played. And I liked it, that's what I told you. Now I realize you want everyone to be able to play, regardless of the age group. I have experience in gaming so it was easy for me to figure stuff out but from someone else's perspective the game is too difficult to understand." 

"Kenma, this thing is post production. I can't change anything now. We're supposed to start with promotional events from next month" Yaku sighed in defeat, already thinking about a new plan.

"I'm not telling you to change the game.” Yaku looked at Kenma in confusion, the kid had his game face on. Everyone on the table leaned in interest “As I said it's a brilliant game. The graphics are great and the concept is engaging. Levels are difficult yet still interesting enough to keep playing."

"Then why bring this up?" 

"Change your target audience" Kenma looked straight into Yaku’s eyes, a little excited glow evident on his face "I think if you contacted a couple of pro gamers or streamers and made them review this before the launch then it would reel in more audience than what you're planning on."

Kenma paused his strategy, letting everything sink in before continuing with a smile. 

"Usually, the public doesn't look for gore or zombies in their games, so there won't be a very large population interested in the game to begin with and if you add the difficult console in the equation, it would be a big flop. Let the people see what it is like seeing someone play it. As an audience you see the person enjoying the game, it makes you wonder if you'll like it or not. It's all psychological."

"You should've started with that. Instead of giving us a scare." Yaku finally allowed himself a smile "What do you think Moniwa? This is your project after all. What do you want to do?"

“I think it's a good approach, better than changing all the designs now.” 

The meeting carried on an hour longer than expected but they did manage to come up with a plan of action. 

“You look stressed out,” Kenma noted when they boarded the lift.

“Yes because you almost ruined an entire project” He said with a snort, Kenma didn’t respond until it was just the two of them left in the lift.

“I see you're still heart broken” The blonde whispered. It was long coming. Kenma was the only one who witnessed his tragic separation. Kenma, in his own way, helped Yaku get over his five year old relationship. Yaku wasn’t proud of how he had reacted back then but at least no one else had seen him like that. 

“Kenma, it’s just work stress. Don’t read too much into it.” 

“When did he move his stuff?” Kenma asked, ignoring Yaku’s hints of changing the subject. 

“Last month” He remembered clearly when Kai showed up at his door to give his ring back. He had felt so powerless then, the tiny ray of hope shriveling away into the abyss.

“Who got shiro-chan?”

“Him” Yaku chuckled darkly “I'm too irresponsible to take care of her”

Kenma didn’t have time to respond because of the elevator doors opening (although Yaku was sure Kenma didn’t know how to respond in the first place). Yaku looked at the surprised face of Yamaguchi Tadashi, standing on the other side.

“Kenma-san!!!” Yamaguchi exclaimed in surprise, offering a cheek hurting grin.

“Tadashi” If you didn’t know Kenma you would think the blonde wasn’t phased at all but Yaku knew just by the slight raise of his head that Kenma was equally happy to see the brunette. 

“You two know each oth- oh yeah right you went to highschool with Tetsurou!” Yaku’s mood was suddenly lifted when he remembered the incident when he introduced Tadashi to Kuroo.  

“You met Kuroo?” Kenma asked when Tadashi stepped into the lift. Yaku was surprised to hear the concern in his voice. Morisuke knew there was something going on between those two but Kenma being concerned made it even more serious. 

“Yaku-san!” A voice called out from the other side as the lift started closing. He got a glimpse of emerald eyes through the slits and in a state of panic he clicked the buttons on the lift, willing the doors to close faster.

“Oh fuck!” 

“Eh- Yaku-san he is supposed to come with me” Yamaguchi tried to stop him but the doors were already closed.

“Oh too bad, he’ll have to get another lift” Morisuke didn’t even try to sound remorseful, he was too glad that Kenma didn’t get to see the stupid kid and his determination to date Yaku. 

“Why did you do that?” Kenma asked suspiciously.

“Oh it was an accident” Yaku shrugged innocently, although no one in that lift believed him. But at least it got Kenma’s mind off of Yaku’s failed marriage.   

Chapter Text

When he opened the door he was expecting a quiet apartment and an inviting bed waiting for him, but instead he was greeted by the loud voice of his neighbors seeping through his walls and his best friend washing his dishes.

“How do you live like this?” Kei asked when he heard Tadashi walk in, “The apartment is a mess and not to mention too small for even a single person and how can you even think with all this noise?”

"Hey I was planning on cleaning up today!" Tadashi tried to defend himself, he loosened his tie from one hand as he rummaged through the fridge to find something edible "And there's nothing I can do about the noise I've already paid six months advance"

"My Tokyo apartment is always empty," Kei retorted without looking back.

It was true. Tsukishima Kei owned three apartments across the country. He had brought the Tokyo one because he didn't like staying in the hotel with his team (a big show off, I know). And Kei had offered Tadashi to live in the apartment multiple times.

"Yeah your place makes me feel like a freeloader. I rather live with the noise" He closed the door with a sigh, his barren kitchen was in dire need of groceries. "What are you doing in Tokyo though?"

"Photo shoot" 

Tadashi chuckled as his neighbors resumed their fighting. He rummaged around the kitchen to find a snack to munch on, keeping his ear on the curses Nakamura-san was spitting from the other side of the wall.

"Photo shoot? For what?" He asked, smiling in triumph when he found an old pack of rice crackers.

"For the Sendai frogs. They're going all out for this year's promotions" Tsukki explained. Tadashi waved a cracker in front of Kei's face as an offer which the blonde declined with a shake of his head. "We got new members this year"

"Oh anyone I know?" Tadashi asked in curiosity. He had been a religious follower of the Sendai frogs but his new job and its recent developments had kept him too busy to focus on anything else.

"I think you'll know most of them," Kei smiled amusingly as Tadashi joined him at the sink, bumping their hips together. "We already played against some of them in high school. It's surprising to see so many people from school playing full time."

"Oh! That reminds me. Guess who I saw today?" Tadashi jumped in excitement. 

"Are you gonna say Kuroo?" There was accusation behind Kei’s face, which Tadashi was not ready to address.

"No- I see him everyday" He knew his best friend was fishing for information, in fact he was sure the actual reason Kei was in his apartment was because of it  "No I saw Kenma-san! It's been so long! He hasn't changed at all."

When he got no response from his best friend he tilted his head in confusion “You don’t seem shocked”

“Well he’s a big streamer and he has partnered with your company a lot of times. I assumed he would be there more frequently” Kei shrugged in nonchalance, removing the rubber gloves and turning off the tap. “Here now you can eat on clean plates again.”

“Oh shut up! It’s not that bad!” Tadashi whined at the blonde’s antics. “Have you eaten anything yet? Wanna get take out?”

“Can’t” Kei wrinkled his nose, as both the best friends settled on the sofa “I’m on a strict diet. They gave up on bulking me.”

Tadashi laughed as he imagined his best friend struggling with a mundane thing like eating. He leaned his head over the blonde’s shoulder and sighed. Because of Kei’s busy (and equally chaotic) schedule it was hard for him and Tadashi to meet very often. They usually had to make due with late night phone calls and (if Tsukki’s schedule allowed it) some rare video calls.

“Should we address the elephant in the room now?” Kei asked silently, making Tadashi groan.

There were only two people who knew the full extent of what Tadashi had experienced in the past. Kei had been furious when Tadashi told him, he had demanded to see the bastard himself and beat the life out of him (half of it was just the alcohol talking). But it had already been too late and Tadashi wasn’t going to let his best friend ruin his own reputation.  

“I knew you would bring it up.” He wasn’t prepared to discuss the taboo just yet. Discussing was like facing reality once again, experiencing those dreadful feelings once again. And he still wasn't ready to face it all.  “Listen, it's nothing. That was the past and I’ve moved on from it. Yes, I was shocked at first but now I’m fine. Can we please not talk about this?”

“Okay” Tadashi was scared that Kei would bring it up again but the blonde looked at him and said “Wanna go grocery shopping? We can make curry”

Tadashi smiled with relief and nodded.

-X-

“Come on! It’s a great plan!” Lev was being a pain in the ass (There is no nicer way of saying it, believe me I tried). When people told him work would be hard or a little too tough to handle, Yamaguchi was expecting the actual work to be difficult. But if he took out his nerdy (not to mention ex-bully) boss and his extremely annoying colleague, it was smooth sailing for him.  

“No Lev! It’s a stupid plan! And I don’t want to be a part of it” Yamaguchi continued correcting his code, hoping that if he acted busy he would be left alone. The other two teams in the department were held up in meetings, leaving the entire office vacant for his own team. And it was a little hard to concentrate without the constant chatter in the air.

“But it's a fool proof method. And it guarantees results!” Lev had wheeled his chair right next to Yamaguchi’s and was trying his best to whisper into Yamaguchi’s ears.

“In romance books! Or dramas! In real life it is just a childish attempt for attention and it’s extremely petty” Yamaguchi didn’t care for Lev’s pathetic attempt for secrecy, the rest of the team were too busy to pay attention to them anyways.  

“But it’s romantic!” Lev whined, elongating every syllable. 

“It’s not romantic!” Yamaguchi finally turned his head to look at the silver head, frowning when he saw determination in the emerald eyes “Trying to make someone jealous is a form of manipulation. Besides, hasn't he already said no to dating you? Making him jealous won’t work.”

“He never said no. He just said that it would be inappropriate-”

“That counts as a no-” Yamaguchi tried to cut Lev off, pressing his hand over the silver head’s mouth to make him stop spewing more nonsense.

“I won’t stop until he actually tells me no. Are you going to help me or not?” Lev removed the freckled hand with indifference, still looking determined. Tadashi could feel a nerve somewhere near his forehead burst.

“Why me?”’

“I can’t ask Futakuchi-san or Akaashi-san, they’re already in a relationship. And asking Nametsu-san would send the wrong single. You’re my only option. Yamaguchi please! Please! Help a friend out!”

“Lev. This is ridiculous. I don’t think-”

“Tadashi, did you finish testing the table?’ Akaashi-san's voice brought him back from his angry trance. The rest of the team (including the bastard) were huddled up together at Futakuchi-san's desk discussing an error.

“Which one? I’m done with table ninety one. I uploaded it to the group folder a couple of minutes ago” Tadashi replied, ignoring the giant beside him completely. 

“Okay. Could you also do the next two?” Akaashi asked helplessly. As the presentation day came closer there was a slight panic floating around the team. And the pile of tasks they needed to finish started to flood. It didn’t help that they were working on the same error since the morning without any compelling results. 

“Yeah sure” Even though he was supposed to turn back to his screen, his eyes were glued on the forearm resting on the back of Kenji-san’s chair. 

Tadashi didn’t have any weird kinks (he swears he doesn’t) but the rolled up sleeve and the chunky watch made the forearm look incredibly sexy. The black band of the watch made the muscular forearm look incredibly enticing.  The only problem was the fact that the arm belonged to his boss (and the person he despised the most). 

What was he doing? Drooling over an arm?

There had been a shift between him and the bastard. Ever since Kuroo had smiled at him. Tadashi could feel something other than hostility, like the rooster head was actually being nice. Or maybe it was all in his head and the bastard had actually changed. His own thoughts had been less defensive lately, which surprised him a lot. 

Meeting Tsukki and Kenma-san together, had reminded him of the old and buried feelings he wasn’t proud of. He was going to blame Kei and his attempted interrogation for confusing his thoughts even more.

“So that’s the problem” The chair was pushed back, making the arm drop back down. The owner of the hand caught a glimpse of Tadashi staring and raised his eyebrows in question. Tadashi, in a wave of confidence, raised his eyebrows back. Which brought back the sweet smile Tadashi had witnessed before.

“All this problem solving has made me want to create a problem” The smile was stretched further and Yamaguchi was sure the evil smirk was meant for him. However he was very confused by the statement itself. Everyone turned to look at Kuroo in confusion.

“Was that a pick up line?” Mai-san asked, looking as horrified as the rest of the team. Kuroo looked flustered at being called out, and Tadashi was sure he could see the ears turning red.

“It wasn’t. I was- I guess the- I think the stress went into my head” Kuroo said, brushing his hand through his hair in embarrassment.  “I think I need a cup of coffee. Anyone else want one?”

If you asked him why he did that, he would not know the answer himself. But when the bastard asked he found himself saying “Oh I would! I’ll come with you to the break room. I needed to stretch my legs anyway.”

There was a collective gasp at his declaration, which he ignored skillfully. Even Kuroo looked surprised, but Tadashi didn’t let it deter him in any way and walked proudly out of the doors. It was already too late to take back his own words. It wasn’t until the two of them were almost out did the rest of the team react. 

“But you hate coffee?”

Kuroo was already past the doors and Tadashi wasn’t quite sure if he heard the exclamation but if he did, he did a great job ignoring it.  

"So you watch one piece too huh?" Kuroo leaned on the counter as they waited for the coffee to fill.

Tadashi wanted to roll his eyes. They had found a common ground, the ground where Kuroo didn't entirely hate him. A ground where they could have normal conversations. But Tadashi was sick of talking about anime all day. Especially with someone who berated him about it in the first place. But he was still glad about the little development they had in their dynamic. So he nodded as an answer.

“Which arc are you on?” A coffee mug was offered to him. He tried not to wrinkle his nose at the smell. He was still questioning his own actions. 

“I finished zou,” Tadashi answered, taking the coffee mug from Kuroo's hands, thinking of offering it to Lev when he went back.

“Really?” The familiar tinge of tease was back in the Bastard's voice “So who’s your favorite crew member? I know it’ll probably be Chopper right? Because he’s cute and tiny”  It brought back memories. Of a time where evil smiles and fear ruled his mind. 

“Why do you do that?” At that point he wasn't even trying to school his mouth. He should've known. There was no way Kuroo would be anything but hateful. “Why do you downsize someone else's opinion? So what if I liked one character for how cute they are? Why do you have to be so condescending about it?”

It was his fault really, thinking that he could have a normal conversation with the bastard. Behind his anger he could feel a thin layer of embarrassment and guilt. He was ogling the bastard’s hands a few minutes ago. A wave of self hatred followed his embarrassment. How could he be so stupid? It was high school all over again. He still hadn’t learned from his own mistakes. 

“I- I didn’t mean it to be condescending” The hazel eyes widened in shock. For a second Tadashi let himself believe that the shock was genuine, that all of it was unintentional.  “I just thought you liked cute stuff and I just assumed-”

“Assumed that that's all I have for my personality.” Tadashi couldn't help but scoff in disbelief.  

There was no way the bastard could change. It was Tadashi’s fault in believing otherwise.

—

8 years ago

It was Hinata who gave him the ick. 

The ick he got when people went through his stuff without asking. It wasn't as traumatizing as the stuff he went through that same year but it did leave a persistent scar. 

He didn't hate Shoyo for it either. For the most part it didn't affect Tadashi. It was the brief moment where he was seized by the fear of judgment that affected him.

Hinata had opened his locker by mistake and Yamaguchi's bag had tumbled out, vomiting all its contents on the floor. It was a common mistake. Everyone in the club had done it at least once. He had laughed at Shoyo’s clumsiness and had bent forward to collect his belongings. 

A flustered Hinata had apologized, shoving all the material back into the bag. Until his eyes landed on Tadashi’s keychain (which he made sure to remove before he went inside the club room, trying to avoid a certain pair of eyes).

"Oh Yamaguchi, you also watched Sailor moon? My sister loves it too!" Hinata had exclaimed loudly, making some of the members turn towards them in curiosity. Yamaguchi had misinterpreted the question as teasing. His mind had reeled back to the taunting smile that he was used to.  

"Isn't she like ten?" Oikawa-senpai had asked amusingly. Tadashi didn't really mind the setters teasing that much, it usually followed with a tiny compliment or a smile to soothe the burn down. But Yamaguchi was past the point of logic then, mind still possessed by the images of hazel eyes. 

He was worried about the figure behind Oikawa-senpai. He could feel the evil smile without putting his eyes on them. It had mortified him. That he had presented the bastard with yet another opportunity to chastise Tadashi.  He was more worried about what that evil smirk would say to him than of other people witnessing his obsession.

"I like it too," a whisper was muttered beside him, making him jump. "It's good"

"Kenma you watch it too?" Shoyo grinned in surprise, he had finally managed to put all of the fallen stuff back into Tadashi's locker "Oh let's watch it together sometime! At my house! What do you say Yamaguchi?"

Tadashi wasn't surprised at the offer, Shoyo was like that. Itching to hang out when the opportunity presented itself. He was surprised at the fact that he was scared of being judged. By his friend.

He was surprised that subconsciously he had developed an insecurity. And he had only one person to blame for it 

When he muttered an answer to Shoyo, he caught sight of Kei. His best friend was looking at him, the slight raised eyebrows were the only indication of concern on the otherwise expressionless face. Tadashi had smiled back to reassure Tsukki but he could tell that the blonde had caught him in his act.

—

"So this is the data you need to go through." There was a loud thud from the documents slamming his desk, which didn't help his growing headache "This is the company analysis" another thud "And these are the previous presentations, to give you an idea about what to do. Any questions?"

"How important is this? What if I actually mess up? I don't think I can do this Mai-san. Can't Lev do this one?" He looked up from the piling documents, hoping that Nametsu-san was one of those soft hearted people who would melt at his pout.

"We've already scheduled the presentation under your name. You'll be fine Yamaguchi. It's not a big deal" Mai-san looked unbothered by Yamaguchi's anxiety.  

"Yeah you'll be fine. Yakkun would be there, you can look at him the entire time if you want to. I do that too sometimes" it was surprising to hear sympathy in the Bastard's voice when Tadashi knew there wasn't any. Yamaguchi ignored the faux encouragement his boss was offering, even refusing to look in his direction.

"Besides I think most of them won't even listen to the presentation" Futakuchi-san smiled at him reassuringly, sipping from the coffee mug Yamaguchi had given him.

"That's not helping" Tadashi declared, his anger from the outburst in the break room had subdued but he still felt the remnants spark when the rooster head spoke. 

"No, I mean everyone is busy with the league and the new launch. There's going to be a lot of events so I don't think people will focus on this demo that much" Futakuchi-san explained. 

"This league is a big thing isn't it?" Lev asked, his work left disregarded. 

"Of course it is!" Nametsu-san leaned over Yamaguchi's desk, her own chair was captured by their boss. "It's an annual thing. We host one of the biggest gaming leagues in the country. There's so much hype around it, I'm surprised we're still getting to work on normal projects. Last year every team had to stop their projects to assist the league."

"That'll probably happen this year too," Akaashi-san noted, as he typed the code into his system. He was the only one working, everyone else had abandoned their own work in favour of office gossip. "Although it's on a different location this year"

"Ah yes it's in Yokohama this year" the rooster head added, making Tadashi frown a little.

"Will we get to go?" Lev asked in excitement "would it be a business trip?"

"Probably” Kuroo hummed in agreement, Tadashi could feel the hazel eyes on him but he was adamant on ignoring the rooster head. He was also sure that the rest of the team (sans Lev of course) had caught on with the weird tension and were trying very hard to overlook it. “But in this case I don’t think the entire team would get to go. It would be a lot expensive to get three big teams to another location.”

“Then only some of us gets to go?” Nametsu-san asked “Tetsu-chan promise me you’ll pick me. I haven't been on a business trip for so long.”

“Hey, that's not fair, I wanna go too,” Futakuchi-san added.

“That’s not how it-” Akaashi-san started to explain, hands hovering over the keyboard.

“Me too, me too I wanna go too” the silver head's yell made Tadashi wince.

“Everyone” Kuroo sighed as the rest of the team tried to talk over each other “I’m not the one who’ll be picking who gets to go. Besides, we don't even know if they want our team there. Let’s not get our hopes high.”

There was a beat of silence which was broken by Akaashi-san turning away from his computer screen for the first time “Kuroo-san I think the test cases are only taking two values at a time. I think that’s why it’s throwing an error.” 

Futakuchi and Nametsu-san perked up at the statement, trying to discuss the line of code. Tadashi caught a glimpse of hazel when he was turning back to his own work and curiosity got the better of him. When he finally allowed himself to look, he was met with a frown, it deepened when Tadashi didn't look away immediately. They stared at each other until Mai-san called Kuroo for some assistance.

“So” Lev wheeled his chair closer to his.

“So what?” Tadashi turned back to his own work. Hoping that the clueless giant won't ask him unnecessary questions.

“Are you going to help me or not” 

Tadashi let out a sigh in annoyance.

“If you stop bothering me I’ll think about it” Yamaguchi replied, even though he knew Lev's 'plan' was doomed to fail.

-X-

Yaku had figured it out the moment he stepped into the cafeteria. Well to be honest if it wasn't for the giant beanpole perking up in his seat when he saw Morisuke enter, he would've probably missed it. The pale hand that was wrapped around Yamaguchi's shoulder, and how it tightened when Yaku entered.

Morisuke wasn't bothered by it but the way the tall kid kept stealing glances made it pretty clear that the display was meant for him to see. Every time they exchanged eye contact, Lev would lean more into Yamaguchi (who was visibly uncomfortable with the situation). Yaku, for a passing second, was tempted to play along to satisfy the kid. But playing along would give the illusion of him being interested, which was not his goal. So he ate his food in silence. Or tried to. 

Yaku tried not to let the amusement show on his face. It was a little cute how hard the kid was trying. It didn't affect Yaku in any way but it was entertaining to see the kid act clingy to some else for a change. And the childish attempt helped to keep Yaku's mind off of certain things.

Recently everything in his life had been a nightmare. The promotion, the divorce, the heartbreak and the new launch. And Yaku was tired. Was it too selfish to seek comfort in something he was not ready to face? His eyes traveled back to the table across from him. Lev was busy stuffing his face to notice Yaku, one of his arms still loosely wrapped around Yamaguchi’s torso. Yaku felt bad for Tadashi, he really did look embarrassed. 

"Why is your fanboy all over Tadashi?" The chair beside him scraped slightly. Yaku looked at his only lunch mate in amusement.

Working in a higher position came with a lot of drawbacks, like no one liked to sit with him during lunch (unless they wanted him to give them a promotion). In the beginning it had disheartened him a little. But he learned to deal with it and after a while he preferred to eat lunch in his own office. 

Until Tetsurou learned about it and dragged him back to the cafeteria. Yaku was naive to be happy about things like this, but at least he wasn't eating alone.

“I’m just glad he’s not bothering me anymore” Yaku glanced at the kid’s table in curiosity. He let out a snort when his eyes met emerald ones, who’s owner froze at the sudden attention. The kid regained his composure and relaxed his head on Yamaguchi’s shoulder. Yaku would’ve believed the act if it wasn’t for the glances thrown his way to gauge his reaction. Yaku finally freed his smile he was trying so hard to conceal.

There was a tsk of disapproval beside him. Yaku looked at his own companion, who's eyes were fixed on Lev.

"Why is it bothering you so much, Kuroo?" Yaku asked curiously. 

"It's not bothering me" Tetsurou whipped his head in back to Yaku, face full of defense "I just thought Lev was trying to court you and now he's all over Tadashi. That's not really nice."

Yaku let out a laugh at Kuroo's expression. It was always fun to pull Tetsurou's strings "I guess his tactic is working on the wrong person."

“What tactic? Do you know something?” Kuroo resumed his intense staring at the table in front of them. Yaku watched Tetsrurou chew his bottom lip in frustration, his eyebrows knit together.

“What is the deal between you two?” Yaku asked, focusing back on his lunch.

“Who? Me and Lev?” Yaku had worked with Kuroo long enough to recognize that as a diversion strategy.

“Don’t act smart Kuroo”

“I’ll tell you. I promise” The seriousness behind the declaration jostled Morisuke. He had asked the question as a form of teasing. “But not now. There's something I have to do first.”

Chapter Text

“Do it again” Yaku-san had said a little furiously, slamming his palm down on the table. 

Everyone else in the meeting room had complained but it didn’t deter the head’s expression, in fact it deepened more. “Don’t act like you worked hard on this. This is sloppy. You all probably thought no one would pay attention to it because of the launch and the big events. There are so many rookie mistakes here.” Yaku-san circled some lines in the document as he spoke. 

Yamaguchi, even though he felt a little disheartened about the extra work, had to agree with Yaku-san on this one. 

Nametsu-san had caught Narita-san a few days ago and during the formal small talk Narita-san had explained the situation to her.

“Apparently the production wants every department head working on the launch. I accidentally saw Mori-san’s schedule, he even has to work on weekends. He’ll be too exhausted to pay attention to the other projects.”

“But it’s Yaku-chan we’re talking about” Futakuchi-san, who was not supposed to be a part of the conversation, protested “He’s too much of a perfectionist, he’ll notice even the tiniest mistakes”

“I know, but-” Narita-san continued, not fazed by the sudden appearance of a new member “- yesterday he read through the proposal Hanamaki-san’s team was covering and he didn’t even notice half of the wrong references.”

“Really?” Mai and Futakuchi-san exclaimed together, even Akaashi-san had looked up from the screen in astonishment. Narita-san leaned over the desk, looking around to make sure no one else heard him.

“Yukie-chan was there, don’t tell her I told you this,” Narita-san whispered, “But apparently he’s not getting enough sleep these days. He goes home late and is spending most of lunches in the meeting room. He’s bound to get exhausted.”

“Do you think it’s because of his divorce?” Mai-san asked with eyes wide. Futakuchi-san beside her had clicked his tongue.

“That was almost a year ago, and he was doing fine before. Why now all of a sudden? Kazuhito is right he’s probably overworking himself again” Kenji noted, he looked at Narita with a smile stretching over his face “But it’s great news. If he’s distracted we don’t have to put much effort into the demo. We’re already behind schedule. Thanks Kazu-kun, you probably saved us a lot of trouble. We were all really worried that we’ll get grilled by the demon-”

A deafening bang beside him made Yamaguchi jump, who too was eavesdropping at the conversation. He, with the rest, looked over at Lev’s desk. The silver head was frowning at his scream, with a scowl so deep it frightened Tadashi. It was the first time he had seen Lev so serious.

“You’re all glad that he’s overworking himself?” Lev had asked, with a chilling calmness. “You’re happy that he’s probably going to get seriously sick if he continues like this?”

“No Lev that’s not what we meant” Mai-san had tried to explain, after a long stretch of silence “We’re just relieved that we don’t have to work that hard” (Tadashi had winced at the explanation, he was sure it was adding more fuel to the fire than extinguishing it) “Of course we’re worried about him, but he’ll be fine. He always gets-”

“How do you know?” Lev snapped “Did you ask him if he’s fine or not? How can you be so sure?”

“Lev-” Tadashi had tried to intervene. 

“Everyone just talks behind his back about how he makes everyone work extra time but he’s just doing his job. And then everyone else acts so friendly in front of him after calling him a demon behind his back. So what-”

“That’s enough Lev” Akaashi-san interrupted with a stern voice, Tadashi had breathed a sigh of relief “I’m sure you have work to do Narita-kun, let us not keep you” Keiji-san smiled politely until Narita-san had vanished behind his own desk. Turning around, Akaashi-san addressed Mai-san “Even if Yaku-san is exhausted we’ll still make sure we work hard on the demo. And besides” Akaashi had sighed in pain, as if the next couple of words were difficult to say  “Lev’s right. Now everyone, focus back on your own work.”

Lev had immediately turned back to his screen, scowl still in place. The rest of the team however had taken a moment to collect themselves. But it left an uncomfortable atmosphere for the rest of the day. Mai-san had caught Lev at the end of the day, apologizing at her outspoken gossip.

Even after the resolve, the team had subconsciously started to slack on their work. 

“But Yakkun if we redo this we won’t be able to make it till the deadline”

“Then postpone the meeting” Yaku-san fumed, “I can’t present this to everyone. You're not the one who has to talk to the investors. This kind of work won't do Kuroo, you all know half assed work creates twice the labor. Just take more time and do it properly.”

Yamaguchi (he would never dream to say this out loud) was relieved by the delay. He already had anxiety regarding the presentation itself, and if Yaku-san had overlooked the mistakes Tadashi would’ve embarrassed himself in front of a lot of big people. 

Tadashi peeked at Lev sitting beside him, given his obsession with the head Tadashi was expecting him to be more vocal during the meeting but the silver head hadn't uttered a single word throughout and was surprisingly calm. Except for the slight press of his lips, Lev looked eerily professional. 

Tadashi looked back at Yaku-san. It was true that the head did look worned out, there were dark circles under his eyes if you really focused on his face. There was a little restlessness around him which had never been there before. But the rest of the team didn't look particularly concerned with the slight haggard appearance of their boss.

"Postponing it would make the higher ups angry," Futakuchi pointed out.

"And showing this incomplete demo won't?" Mori-san asked. Akaashi-san opened his mouth to reply but got cut off when Yaku continued "look I'll deal with the consequences for postponing the meeting. Just- just polish this a bit. Make it presentable. I'll schedule it after the launch."

The glances Mai and Akaashi-san exchanged was a great indicator that they were also grateful about the delay.

"We'll work on it. And I'm sorry for all this yakkun."

"Yeah yeah just do a better job next time" Yaku waved his hand in dismissal. While everyone else shuffled around to get up, Kuroo continued to stare at Yaku.

Yamaguchi could tell that they were having a silent conversation between themselves. It was surprising to see that Kuroo was close to someone like Yaku-san. He had always seen both of them together at the cafeteria (it was only when Yaku was not present or they had not gone out to eat, did Kuroo join Yamaguchi's table. Which was a big relief for Tadashi) and he had often caught the two joking around during work hours.

Lev beside him twitched a little but continued to gather his materials and with a swift (and rather sudden) twist he walked out of the room, not waiting for Yamaguchi to catch up.

He himself was almost out of the room when Kuroo called him back, making him frown. The week that followed Yamaguchi's confrontation, Kuroo had ignored him altogether. Addressing him when absolutely necessary. Yamaguchi was enjoying this new unspoken arrangement of theirs.

"I would like to have a word, Yamaguchi-kun" It was surprising to hear anything other than 'freckles' from the mouth of the bastard but he was pleased that he was finally getting some respect. 

Yamaguchi didn't really want to agree, but Yaku-san was still there and he didn't want to ruin his image in front of him so he nodded.

Kuroo had dragged (with his hands clutching Yamaguchi's elbows tightly) him to a secluded corner, he surveyed the hallway before saying "Look about the other day"

Yamaguchi stiffened at the mention. It wasn't like he was avoiding it, but he wasn't expecting it to be brought up either. Looking back at it later, Yamaguchi was convinced that it was his own fault to call Kuroo out. Confrontation, even though it felt satisfying at that time, was not going to help Yamaguchi in the long run. It might even cost him his position in the company if he kept angering his boss like that.

After a while, when Yamaguchi didn't reply, the bastard muttered "I would like to apologize. It wasn't my intention to make you feel bad. I'm sorry for making you feel like I was picking up on you"  He wasn't ready for the apology in the first place but the bow made it worse. 

There was a dilemma. On one hand he wanted nothing but to ignore whatever had happened and to move forward. But his past rage made it hard. The urge to confront his bully was so strong, it sent a quiver through his body. There was no satisfaction in hearing a tiny apology. He wanted to remind the bastard that he had always been like that, in the past and even now. He had always given Yamaguchi the taste of hell.

"It's okay, Kuroo-san" it wasn't okay, obviously. But he didn't want to take the matters further. If the apology meant that the bastard would leave him alone in the future then that's all he wanted. He would deal with the past later on his own. 

"If you ever feel that way in the future" Kuroo continued, a pained expression had made its way on his face "please let me know. I'll try to correct it as soon as possible."

"Yes of course" no amount of effort was enough to get a smile on Tadashi's lips, but he tried nevertheless. He excused himself immediately after that. It was confusing, the mix of emotions he felt. He didn’t want an apology but he was glad to get one. At the same time knew the apology itself was a formality, a way to keep the team dynamic balanced. 

When he reached back to his desk, he was still thinking about the pained expression on Kuroo’s face. Why was it there? Was it that difficult for him to admit that he was wrong? Was Tadashi so unworthy of an apology? 

“Yama-chan” his chair was turned to face a grinning Nametsu “What are you wearing for the party?”

“Huh?” With his mind still on the apology it was hard to register the words being spoken to him.

“It’s next week! Do you know what you’re wearing?” Mai-san asked, eyes twinkling with excitement. 

“I haven’t put much thought into it. I guess I’ll just wear one of my office suits” Tadashi answered, mind preoccupied still.

“What nonsense!” Mai-san pushed his chair back until it bumped back into his desk, leaning over Tadashi’s head “It’s your first ever company event. You need to look nice.”

“Ignore her, Yamaguchi. She just wants a guinea pig who she can play dress up with.” Futakuchi-san said, not bothering to turn around.

“So what? I have a great fashion sense. Didn’t Aone like the suit I bought for you?”  Mai-san whipped her head back, her ponytail smacking Yamaguchi’s face.

“Yes yes he did. That’s the problem, because now he wants me to ask you for clothing advice. He thinks what I wear is boring.” 

“He thinks right” She whipped her head back again “So? Wanna go shopping with me Yama-chan? I’ll make you look even more handsome. Oh what about you Lev? Wanna join? I’ll make sure to get you something Yaku-san would appreciate.”

It was obvious with the way Lev jumped and his face brightened that he liked the idea too, but the silver blonde removed any expression from his face and said “Well I was going shopping anyway. You can tag along if you want.” 

Mai-san snorted into her hand at the effort it took Lev to be nonchalant, she grinned back at Yamaguchi “So Yama-chan let’s go shopping!” Tadashi tried to argue that he was not really interested in buying anything but Mai-san had once again whipped her head (smacking him in the face with her ponytail. Again) “Keiji you wanna join?”

“Keep me out of it. I already have a lot of suits” came the dry reply.

“More won’t hurt” 

“No thank you” Another dry reply. Yamaguchi smiled at how uninterested Akaashi-san sounded.

“Alright then it’s just the three of us. We’ll have a blast!” It was chilling, the way Nametsu-san smiled. Like she finally found her prey. He knew he had no choice but to comply. 

-X-

He wasn't planning on getting drunk, but the stupid head of finance just had to get on his last nerve. It was a big party, there were reporters involved, so he had promised himself he wouldn't make a fool of himself. Besides he had to present the mementos to the investors. He had a role to play.

Yet here he was. Hiding. 

It was a good party. He had to give it to whoever organized it, to get almost 500 people into a venue and still make it entertaining. He was impressed by the venue itself. The hotel was one of the most popular (and the most expensive) in the country. Holding an event like this sent a message. 

He had talked to almost every important person in the ballroom, all that was left was to give the memento and he could take his leave. The only problem was the guest was running a little late. And it was getting on his nerves. He was exhausted. All he wanted was to go back to cold apartment and drown in his misery.     

“So how’s single life treating you now, Morisuke-san?” The finance head had asked him, a grin stretching from one ear to the other. “You must be having the time of your life now that the husband is out of your life.”

He had smiled, forced it out as hard as he could. Tipping the flute in the air he swallowed the rest of his drink in one gulp. “Work is not letting me enjoy my free time unfortunately.”

“Oh once the league is done you’ll be a free man again Morisuke-san” The pathetic smile floating in front of his eyes was making it hard to see anything rationally. He would’ve loved to knock the stupid man out with a punch.

“Excuse me gentlemen. I think I need another drink” he had waved his empty glass to the circle of men around him and left before anything else was said. He had heard loud laughter coming from the same men he had abandoned, and he forced his legs to keep walking.

Now he was drunk. And hiding in a dark alley behind the hotel. He took another drag from his cigarette, he could feel his hands shaking in the process. Kai hated it when he smoked, and would always complain about lung diseases to scare him off. 

“Yaku-san?” Somewhere on his left he heard a door open. He made no attempt to hide himself, confident enough that the dark alley could hide his silhouette. He realized a little late, when the footsteps came closer, that his lit cigarette might’ve been visible.

“What are you doing here?” The footsteps stopped two paces away, and he took another drag “I was looking for you everywhere.”   

He had been in the alley for quite some time that his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. Lev had taken a couple more steps and was towering over him, squinting his eyes. The usual silver bangs that used to fall over the eyes (and annoy Yaku for no reason) were pushed back. Even in the darkness the kid looked like a model, the steel gray suit enhancing the body proportions. 

“You look good” Yaku smiled, although he was sure the kid couldn’t see it.

“You think so?” There was a little shyness behind Lev’s voice. He felt an urge to lean closer to the kid, to check if the kid was blushing.

Lev was looking down at him and he found himself smiling, cigarette forgotten. This time he could definitely see a slight flush seeping over the kid’s face. He wanted to touch the cheek, to see if it was as warm as it looked in the dark.

“Mai-san said you like sweets. So I brought you this.” Yaku had failed to see the tissue paper that the kid was holding. On it was a small macaroon, he was pretty sure that he had tried it the moment he arrived at the venue but he didn’t want to dispirt the kid. So he stubbed the cigarette under his shoe and took the macaroon. He needed to have a word with Mai before she gave the kid any more ideas. 

“Aren’t you cold?” Lev asked, after Yaku had finished the piece of dessert (in one bite too. Don’t judge him he was hungry and a bit drunk).

“I’m okay” 

“You don’t look okay” He realized what was bothering him. It was the soft, papery tone Lev was using. Up until now the kid had been nothing but loud and Yaku was bothered by how gentle he was being right now. He swayed a little when he turned to face Lev, their faces a lot closer than he expected.

“I am okay Lev” He whispered. He knew he was lying. The moment he had stepped outside he had regretted not bringing his jacket with him. But he was too prideful to admit it to a kid.

“I can give you my jacket if you want.” There was too much enthusiasm behind the suggestion. Like Lev was itching to offer his jacket. It made Yaku smile (he might’ve inched a little closer too but there is no telling). 

“Lev” He liked saying the name, especially when the owner of the name brightened everytime he said it. “You should go inside.”

“But I want stay with you” 

There was distant buzzing somewhere in the corner of his head, giving him a warning that whatever he was thinking was not appropriate.

But he did it anyway.

Lev was on the too tall side of the spectrum so he had to grab the tie to bring him down to his level. Lev leaned in easily, like he was expecting it. 

He was expecting it to be more gentle and soft but Lev kissed like he wanted to devour Yaku. 

Lev’s hand wrapped around Yaku’s neck, holding him in place. Yaku felt like he had been set on fire, or maybe it was just the alcohol talking, he tried to hold back his eager whine. He sank his teeth into the flesh of Lev’s lips, leaving a sting behind.

“No, stop” He was pushed back. The hands squeezing his shoulder. “I wanna take you on a date first. And you’re a little drunk, I don’t want to- ” The kid didn’t complete his sentence but it helped Yaku sober up a little.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that” He apologized immediately, taking a few steps back. There was a sway in his steps, which he hadn’t registered before. He might’ve been more drunk than he had initially thought.

“It’s not that I didn't like it.” Lev had grabbed his hand, to keep him from stumbling any further. The hand was cold to his surprise, it swallowed his own hand with ease “I just want to do it right. Take it slowly.”

There was a stab of guilt in his chest. The kid was being sincere. Too sincere for his liking. And what was he doing? Taking advantage of that. He closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the guilt. He took a deep breath in.  

“Lev” He took his hands back from the kid’s clutches “I can’t give you that. You deserve better than this. You’re a good kid.” 

“You keep saying stuff like this. Why is it so wrong” It was the first time he detected any kind of upset in Lev.

“Because” He didn’t want to think about the past. “You probably heard this but I’m divorced Lev. You know what that means? I had a shot at love and I ruined it. I don’t deserve it anymore.” He tried to walk past. He had been gone too long already, maybe if he could find someone else to do his job then he could leave early.

“That’s not how it works,” Lev called out. Yaku tried not to focus on the quiver in the kids' voice. “Maybe you guys just didn’t work out”

He was sure there were tears, the occasional sniffs hinted at it. But Yaku was a coward to look back, to face his own mistake. He staggered with difficulty towards the door, the tiny sniffs still echoing in his ears 

-X-

Crowds didn’t scare Tadashi much, he wasn’t a party person but he wasn’t a homebody either. But the number of people at the ballroom had surprised him. There were reporters and speeches and flashy cameras everywhere. Akaashi-san had told, in an effort to calm him down, that most of the photographers were from the company (something about it being an act. He didn’t pay much attention to it.) and all the reporters were interested in the higher up and not the employees.

There was nothing for him to do after he had looked around and filled his stomach with quality food. Lev had abandoned him to search for Yaku-san after Mai told him about how much their boss liked dessert. She herself had left to find a drink for herself. Futakuchi and Akaashi-san were lost in the crowd somewhere (and honestly he didn’t want to be near them and their dates. It made him feel like a third wheel). Suna-san didn’t like parties and was not interested in joining this one either. And he hadn’t seen Yachi all night.

In short he was all alone and bored out of his mind.

It was probably because of that (or maybe it was because he was standing in front of the entrance all alone and the fact that he doesn't know how to say no) that he got roped into helping the staff for the event. 

He doesn't know why anyone would approach a guest but they did. And the staff had looked a bit flustered so he had felt a wave of empathy for them and offered to help.

That's how he spent most of the company party, transferring heavy boxes of liquor to the bar from the delivery van. He was on his third trip when he ran into Kuroo. He had tried to avoid the bastard since the moment he arrived. 

Kuroo looked distracting.

Yes, Tadashi had seen Kuroo in a suit before. But he had never seen the bastard without a tie and the first two buttons of his shirt open. He had never seen him with his hair slicked back. He had never seen him look that attractive before and it distracted him from his original goal of ignoring his boss.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kuroo had asked him when he saw Tadashi in the hallway. "Why are you not in there?"

He was already struggling with carrying the box and he was not happy about facing his only distraction at that particular moment. It didn't help the matter that Kuroo had removed his suit jacket. The scarlet shirt clinging tightly to its owner's torso did wonders for his imagination.

"There was a shortage of staff and I offered to help" Tadashi struggled to answer (he swears it was because of the heavy box and not because of his boss).

"Shouldn't someone else do this?" Kuroo asked, raising his eyebrows in question. 

"I offered" Yamaguchi was going to say something along the lines of him being free and he didn't mind helping when his foot caught something and the box (full of expensive liquor bottles) tipped slightly. 

He stumbled a bit, heart racing as he thought he was definitely going to trip down. When hands caught his elbow before he could fall over. The box collided with the scarlet shirt, the glass bottles clinked loudly but to his relief there was no sound of breaking or any leakage.

"You okay?" 

It took him a moment to calm his breath down, mind trying to tell his heart that he was out of danger now. His eyes however were focused on the exposed collar bone in front of him. The smell of peaches filled his nose, giving him a sense of deja vu. (He also swears that he doesn't behave like that on a normal basis. He might've been a little tipsy).

"Yamaguchi are you okay?" The question was asked again when there was no response.

"Yea- yeah I'm okay" he answered when found his voice. Looking up he found his face inches away from the bastard. This was the first he had seen those evil eyes this close, they looked pretty up close. He tried not to move much, he didn't want to startle Kuroo.

"Your shoelace is undone. You should tie it up or you'll fall down." Kuroo was still close enough but he had removed his hands. 

Yamaguchi lifted the heavy box up a fraction to tell that maybe it would be a difficult task to achieve with both of his hands busy. Kuroo had looked at him for a long minute, head tilted to the side. When his arms started to hurt, he tried to walk past his boss.

"Wait. You seriously need to tie them. Or you'll fall down again." The hands were back on his elbows, this time they made his whole body tingle (maybe he was more than tipsy). But the hands didn't stay for long, as soon as he stopped moving they were gone.

Kuroo crouched down in front of him, hands moving towards his shoe. He took a step back in surprise, narrowly avoiding stepping on his shoelace. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want you to fall down" Kuroo looked up, a smile slotted in place. It made his heart skip a beat. He kept his eyes on the long fingers tying his shoelace.

There was definitely something wrong with him. It was more than just being drunk. 

When Kuroo stood back up his eyes followed. Hazel eyes were on him and he didn't want to look away, there was a smile somewhere below them but he was too focused on the eyes to care. 

He is not proud to admit this but in that moment if the bastard had chosen to lean down and kiss him, Tadashi would’ve let him. The thought itself was scary for him. He could hear Tsukki’s voice at the back of his head, judging him for his thoughts. You can’t be serious. That guy calls you pathetic. I think I agree now.

“Yamaguchi-” The low whisper made shivers run down his back. “Let me take this” Soft fingers brushed his hands and the weight of the box vanished. His sore arms screamed in gratification and he released a pleased sigh.    

"You don't have to do that." He said, trying to get the box back "I was the one who volunteered-"

“Tetsurou!” someone yelled from behind him, making him jump. He was glad that the box of breakable items was not in his hands anymore. 

Turning around to inspect the noise he saw Yaku-san walking (wobbling would’ve been a better word) towards them, with Lev following him not far behind. He didn’t pay much attention to the giant because he was focused on how dangerously Yaku-san was swaying. 

"Yaku-san!" He rushed towards the smaller man when he leaned forward , almost falling down “Are you okay?”

Yaku-san leaned into him when he wrapped his arms around the man. On a closer look he could see how red Yaku-san’s face was. He tried to look back at Lev while supporting the smaller man. Lev had gotten closer, his own face equally red.  

“What the hell did you do Lev?” Kuroo sounded enraged.

“He was helping me.” Despite his appearance, Yaku-san’s voice was clear and commanding  “Kuroo I’m sorry but can you take me back to my apartment? You came in your car didn’t you? Can you take me back? I don’t think I can stay here. I had too much to drink.”

“Yaku-san-” Lev, as much Tadashi could see from his peripheral vision, tried to reach an arm out.

“It’s okay Lev” Yaku-san cut him off quickly, not looking back at the giant “Don’t worry about it.” Yaku-san leaned a little more into him “Tadashi? Could you do me a favor?”

“Yes yes of course”  

“Could you go find Kiyoko for me? Tell her I'm not feeling okay and ask her to get someone else to give the momentos.” Towards the end of the sentence words started to blur. 

“God, Yakkun. Why did you drink so much?” Kuroo had managed to shove the box into Lev’s hands. “Yamaguchi, walk him to the front gate and I'll get my car. Lev deliver this box to the bar”

“But-” Lev protested, eyes fixed on Yaku-san.

“Just do as I say.” Lev left looking disheartened and Yamaguchi felt a little bad for him.  

When he had deposited a half asleep Yaku into the passenger seat of Kuroo’s car, he realized a big flaw in the plan “Uh- Yaku-san? I don’t know who Kiyoko-san is”

“Ask Yachi,” Kuroo leaned to put Yaku’s seatbelt on him “She’ll know. I’ll get Yakkun home so tell Lev not to worry too much” 

He smiled at how Kuroo knew about Lev being worried and he sent him away probably to distract him. He went back to the ballroom after seeing his bosses off. Finding Yachi was going to be difficult with all that crowd.

He found her at the bar, holding hands with a pretty lady with glasses. They looked like they were enjoying the evening and he felt guilty in disturbing them.

“Hitoka-san!”

“Oh Yamaguchi-kun! Great, you're here. I wanted to  introduce you-” Yachi gestured to the person beside her but he cut her off before she completed her introduction.

“I’m sorry to interrupt Yachi-san. I’m actually looking for a Kiyoko-san, it is a little urgent. I have a message for her.” 

Yachi laughed when he finished, the person beside her however bowed in greeting. Yachi gestured again, “This is her.”  

“Oh! Nice to meet you Kiyoko-san. Actually Yaku-san wanted you to know that he was not feeling well and if it would be okay for someone else to present the memento, I don’t remember what exactly he said. But whatever he was supposed to do he won’t be able to do” Yamaguchi tried to summon his most professional tone, even though he was flustered inside. The moment Yaku-san’s name was mentioned Kiyoko-san’s smile dissolved into a frown.

“What happened?” She asked, there was a hint of hurry in her mannerism. “Did he drink too much again?” She might’ve seen the answer on his face because she continued “I told him not to drink today. Even if he has high tolerance it gets really tedious. Thank you for telling me.”

She whispered something into Yachi’s ears and was gone in a flash. 

“Would you like to drink Yamaguchi?” Yachi asked, eyes still fixed on the retreating figure.

“Oh I don’t think I should drink” He acted strange when he was under the influence of alcohol. He had learned that today “I must find Lev.”     

The one good thing about the giant was height, it made it easier to find him a crowd this thick. The silver head was standing (pacing actually) right by the entrance, even from afar he looked upset. Yamaguchi bid Yachi farewell and hurried to Lev.

He had no clue what had transpired between him and Yaku-san, but the way Lev was behaving meant he knew something. When he got closer he could see that Lev’s face was still a bit red, like he was ready to cry (or he already had cried).  

“Lev,” Yamaguchi placed a reassuring hand on the giant’s shoulder when he reached him “Kuroo-san said he’ll take care of him so don’t worry too much.” 

Lev looked at him, face full of hurt “He said he doesn’t deserve love” 

“Who-?” He already had inkling who Lev was talking about.  

“He kissed me.” Lev’s voice broke. Yamaguchi tried not to show his surprise. “He kissed me and said he shouldn’t have done that. He looked like- he looked like he was going to cry. He said- he said he doesn’t deserve love”

“Lev.” He could see the tears streaking down the giant's eyes “You wanna get out of here?”

“Yes”      

Chapter Text

Yamaguchi woke up with a massive headache and a half naked silver blonde beside him. At first he didn't pay attention to the giant sharing his bed and tried to search for some pain medicine to ease his headache. When the fog of sleep faded a little and his mind started to register the mess of his room (and the unfamiliar clothes lying on the floor) did he notice the body.

He stood in shock for a couple of minutes, trying to recall the event of the previous night. Trying to remember precisely how he landed in the situation. The pain in his head muddled with his memories. 

"Lev" he tried to wake the giant, shaking the shoulders gently first then with a little more vigor when he saw no results. "Lev!"

Lev whined, eyes still firm shut, and snuggled into his pillow. As Tadashi stared at the vast expansion of milky shoulders, the memories started to register back.

"I don't see why this is affecting you so much" he had asked Lev, trying so hard to resist the effects of alcohol in his system. "I mean I understand that kissing your employer is bad and all the legal bullshit but I don’t think he’ll ever bring it up so you’re safe. He's a good guy but I don't know why you're so hung up on him. He's such an asshole at work, everyone calls him a demon!" He counted on his fingers (looking back all he can do is cringe at his drunk self and his poor choice of words). Before you judge him for saying all that about his boss, Yamaguchi never saw Yaku-san as anything but inspiring. In his alcohol infused state he just wanted to make Lev feel better (and if it was at the expense of Yaku-san so be it).

"Hung up on him? You think it's a silly crush don't you?" Lev had turned red (from anger or the alcohol, Tadashi wasn't sure) "I like him. Is that so hard to imagine? It's not some stupid hyper fixation for me." Lev breathed out, staring at Tadashi with watery eyes "And he's not an asshole. Have you seen how everyone treats him? They all act like goodie two shoes in front of him then complain when he's not there. What would you do if that happens to you? Besides he's not mean to you or Akaashi-san, you know why? Because you don't bad mouth him. He knows-" Lev took a big gulp of his beer, half of which streaked down his cheeks "He's just miserable. No one can see it." The giant let out a sob and then chugged the rest of his beer down.

"Lev-" Tadashi placed a soothing hand on the shaking shoulders.

"I have decided," Lev said, slamming his glass on the table, attracting the attention of everyone else in the bar. When they had dispersed from the party, Yamaguchi had taken Lev to the nearest bar (which turned out to be really expensive but Lev had already ordered scotch and soda, so there was no turning back)  "I will court him until he says yes!"

Yamaguchi let out a string of laughter at the declaration. He swayed a little as he tried to cover his mouth, trying to stop the giggles. "I've never heard someone use the word 'court' like that." Yamaguchi's cheeks pained with the stretch of his smile "You're going to court him? "

Lev, not seeing anything wrong in the statement nodded. Yamaguchi looked at his colleague and was overcomed with a sense of fondness. "And how will you do that?"

Lev's elbow slipped at the edge of the table, when he leaned over to answer, that's when Yamaguchi decided that it was enough drinking for the day. He pulled out his phone, contents of the screen blurring, while Lev blabbered.

"-get him to see. I'll make him smile" Lev didn't stop muttering until Yamaguchi shoved him into the cab. 

The last thing Tadashi could remember was the soft feeling of hair brushing his cheeks as Lev's head landed on his shoulder. 

Yamaguchi groaned at the memories. It was a stupid idea to drown their miseries in alcohol. It never did anything good, just built more trouble for him to deal with later.

As he continued in his attempts to wake Lev something else flashed in his mind. Images of collarbones and the smell of peaches in the air. And the urge to kiss its owner. He groaned again, this time with embarrassment. Why would he even think of that? He was his boss! He was never touching alcohol again.  

The uninvited guest in his bed snuggled deeper in the sheets, shifting his attention back to the present.

"Lev!" Tadashi gave a last shove to the motionless body before snatching the sheets off the bed. "Get up!"

"Just a few more minutes Mom" 

In the years to come Tadashi would probably regret becoming friends with Haiba Lev, but the regret won't be as strong as the one he was feeling at that moment. 

"Lev! Get your ass up before I throw you off on the street!" Suddenly he felt pity for his neighbor who had to deal with this everyday. He was definitely going to stop complaining every time he heard her through the walls.

"I'm up!" Lev sprang up, then groaned because the sudden motion made him feel dizzy. He looked around at the unfamiliar bedroom "How did I get here?"

"I don't even remember. I just know that you're too heavy" Tadashi could feel the soreness in his back, not quite remembering how it got there "You're welcome by the way"

Somehow in their pain induced state both the male got up without further efforts. Tadashi opened a new toothbrush for Lev and offered to make breakfast for the giant. (It was just cereal and orange juice, which might've gone bad, but Lev agreed anyway).

"How much do you remember from last night?" Tadashi asked as they both settled on his couch.

"Everything" Lev said without missing a beat.

"Even your stupid plan?" Tadashi chuckled as he remembered Lev's drunken declaration.

"To woo Yaku-san? Yes." came the reply, with a dopey grin and a cute blush.

Yamaguchi couldn't help but laugh at Lev's expression "No one uses that word Lev."

"Fine I'll sweep Yaku-san off his feet and make him fall in love with me" the statement induced further giggles but Yamaguchi decided not to tease again. The blush however, stayed on till they finished their breakfast, Yamaguchi was too nice to point that out as well.

But he did comment, after finishing his laugh "Sometimes you can be really adorable. I don't know why Yaku-san doesn’t see it."

It was after they both had finished and Tadashi was making a mental list of chores he needed to finish when Lev came out of the shower, in a very tight Sendai frog jersey and equally tight shorts (Tsukki's clothes, which Tadashi found hilarious). 

"Can I ask you something? It might be too personal" the giant asked hesitating. Seeing Lev hover around his cramped kitchen counter made his small apartment look even tinier.

"Sure" he shrugged as he loaded the dishes in the sink.

"What happened between you and Kuroo-san?" 

Memories of last night flashed before his eyes. Nothing happened. That's what he was supposed to answer but somehow he felt the guilt which had no rights to be there. Yes he did think (briefly. Very briefly. Plus he was under the influence of alcohol. Don't judge him) about kissing his boss. But nothing ever happened so there was no need to panic.

"What- when? At the party? Nothing. Nothing happened. Why are you asking?" Yamaguchi scratched the back of his neck in indifference (which had the opposite effect).

"No, not at the party. At high school. You said you two went to the same school right? Did something happen between you too?"  Lev's voice didn't have any hostility, nor did it have any hint of gossip. But Tadashi still found his wall of defense building up.

"Why do you ask?" He asked more seriously, hoping Lev would take the hint and back off.

"Sometimes you just act like you two had a nasty breakup or something" Lev explained, oblivious to Yamaguchi's reluctance.

"There was nothing like that" Tadashi let out a scornful laugh, he deliberated whether he should tell Lev the truth or not. "he was just mean to me in high school"

After staring at his dish-filled sink (how did they get dirty so fast?), he turned to gauge Lev's reaction. There was a subtle smile on his face, like he knew about the piece of information Yamaguchi left out.

"So you didn't like him back then?" Lev sounded sure of himself, with a hint of sarcasm hidden in the smirk (which took Tadashi by surprise).

He watched as the subtle smile shifted into a full blown grin in the silence "How did you know?" A shrug was all he got as a response.

"I had a tiny crush on him but that was in the past. I don't anymore" Tadashi clarified.

"Was it because he was mean to you?" 

The box which he had tried so hard to keep shut inside him sprung open and all the years worth of embarrassment flooded out.  "Maybe?" There was never a maybe, he was sure of that "But now I'm more mature and I've realized how toxic that was. How he bullied me and how it ruined parts of me"

"Does he still do it?" Lev asked more soberly. The giant grabbed his hands and dragged him to the couch.

He thought for an answer. The way Kuroo treated him now was nothing compared to how he made him feel in high school. And what happened in the past always fogged Tadashi's judgment now "I think I just overreacted back then. I thought he was mean to just me but working with him now, I realized he's like this with everyone. He just took things a little extreme with me. Now if he did anything like that I'll probably call him out for it. But recently he's been really nice to me"

"So you don't like him anymore?" The subtle smile was back. Tadashi regretted ever being kind to Lev.

No matter how firm he made the statement sound Lev probably didn't believe him (and the deep sunken blush on his cheeks was not helping either) "No! He's my boss! Plus I'm pretty sure he's straight."

"I don't think he's straight"

Tadashi didn't either. But he refused to dwell on that thought. "Let's not talk about this. It's making my headache worse"

–

8 years ago

He likes to call it "The Tadashi" incident. Even after years have gone by he still recalls it with a smile on his face. It was the first and the only time Kuroo had been nice to him in high school. 

It was during the spring tournament, they were playing their third set when he was thrown in to serve. He had done it before in the previous two matches but this one had some additional pressure.

The opponent was on match point, one mistake would make them lose this game. But at the same time he couldn't take a safe route out. They needed one point for deuce, it was their only chance.

If they lost this match they wouldn't qualify.

There was a lot of pressure on him. 

He could see the backs of his teammates, breathing in anticipation. Preparing for battle. The ball felt heavy in his sweaty palms and his heart felt too warm. He could feel the blood pumping in his ears. The rest of the court was eerily silent as if praying for his downfall.

The loud whistle pierced his ears and he threw the ball in the air, a little higher than he was used to. He panicked for half a second before regaining his momentum, this was now or never. He could panic later.

His jump was on point, at the correct height. And when his hand touched the ball it felt right. Like something clicking into place. He watched the ball fly across the court colliding just above the net. His heart soared when the ball started to fall straight down on the other side of the court.

One of the opponents tried to slide right under the ball, touching it with his fingertips but unable to keep it in the air. 

There was another loud whistle signaling their point. They had managed to grab the chance. The roar of the stadium reached his ears, sending tremors through his body. He wanted to scream on top of his lungs at the intensity of emotions he felt at that moment.

Soon bodies started crashing into him. There were hands patting his head, his back and even one on his butt (he was sure that one was Oikawa-san). He was sticky with sweat, too warm and out of breath but all of those discomfort did nothing but add into his joy.

When everyone had separated and another ball was thrusted into his hands his eyes landed on him . He had a proud smile on his face, it looked oddly attractive on him. It was Tadashi’s first time seeing something soft behind those hazel eyes. 

His heartbeat picked up again, but this time for a different reason. 

"Nice kill, Tadashi" his breath hitched. Hearing his name wasn't supposed to excite him this much. It sounded like a melody "One more" Kuroo shuffled his hair affectionately before going back to his own position. 

Even after he scored one more point. Then one more and won the match. Even after going back home with tired limbs and a big smile. He could still feel the weight of that hand and the melody of his name. Even after years he could recall it precisely. Maybe it was because this is where he made the mistake of falling in love with Kuroo Tetsuro.

-X-

In the midst of the rework, the office party and the drunk debacle he had forgotten a very important upcoming event.

The presentation.

The realization hit him like a truck one morning. Even though it was still a week away, his anxiety has built a permanent camp in his mind never letting him forget about the pressure. And as the days went by he felt it more and more difficult to distract himself from the fear of messing up (he couldn't even keep an eye on Lev and his ridiculous plan to "court" their boss).

"Slacking?"

His staring session with the break room shelf was broken by the voice. The rest of his team had gone down for lunch and he had excused himself (with a lame "I don't really feel hungry" which no one believed but didn't question him either). 

"It's lunch break" he argued back, bracing himself for the taunts.

"Then why aren't you having lunch?" The voice was surprisingly caring. It had been doing that lately, sounding soft instead of mean. And lately it was easy to talk to the voice without past memories clouding his thoughts. He was yet to determine whether the new changes were good or bad.

"I wasn't hungry" 

"Why does it sound like you're lying?" Kuroo-san had walked up beside him, leaning on the counter as he stared at Tadashi with amusement.

Yamaguchi avoided looking at his boss (don't ask him why) and continued staring at the open snack shelf in front of him. 

"And now what's the real reason?" The bastard asked, closing the shelf doors gently, prompting Tadashi to look at him.

He debated (or simply stared at hazel eyes), if he should reveal the concern that was slowly eating him alive. What was the worst that could happen? (he would be teased on how stupid his worry was). 

"I'm just too anxious to eat," he said at last. It was better to let it out of his system. Maybe if he said it out loud how scared he was about messing up then maybe he won't get much scolding when he actually did.

"What for?" Kuroo cocked his head (and Tadashi tried to silence the horny side of his brain that had been active lately whenever the bastard came in his sight). Today he was wearing a royal blue tie with Pacman all over it. When Tadashi first saw it in the morning he couldn't help but snort at how ridiculous it looked. The bastard saw his smile but instead of questioning it he smiled back (almost giving Tadashi a heart attack too). 

"It's the presentation. What if I mess up?" He meant it to sound casual, which is why he was surprised to hear so much vulnerability in his voice.

"It's just a presentation Yamaguchi"  Kuroo had somehow managed to squeeze in the space between Yamaguchi and the cabinet, and was towering over him "Even if you mess up, we'll be there. Me and Yakkun. And besides you're new to all of this and of course there would be places you would mess up. So it's okay if you do. Don't put so much pressure on yourself"

"But it's the investors-"

"Exactly. They are people you won't be seeing after that one presentation. They won't probably remember you either so it's alright. And it won't be you who would have to deal with angry investors, that would be Yakkun's job. So don't worry about it" there was something calming in the bastard's voice that was never there before. Something that made Tadashi less anxious. (Maybe that's why he was the captain in high school, a decision Yamaguchi never understood before).

"I don't want Yaku-san to deal with my mistakes" The mention of the name brought back the conversation he had with Lev in his own apartment "Speaking of him, how is he? I haven't seen him since the party"

It had been two days since the night of the party and he was yet to get a glimpse of the department head. Because of the tournament preparation and the new game launch, Yaku-san had been busy with back to back meetings. Which was fine, unless you sat beside a silver blonde who complained every 5 seconds about the lack of Yaku-san in his life.

"Oh don't ask" Kuroo exhaled in exhaustion, his fingers rubbing his temple "He's overworking himself. He always does this when there's something he wants to avoid" (Tadashi was ninety nine percent sure what that reason was) "Even I can't do anything when he's like this. I'm actually worried about him. He gets so focused on work that he forgets to take care of himself" Kuroo exhaled again, this time with a slight amusement "One time we ended up in an ER because he hadn't eaten for 3 days straight."

"You two seem very close," Tadashi observed. He doesn’t really understand where the pang of hurt came from. 

"Yeah well we were in college together, we've been friends since. Although if you ask him, he would probably deny being friends with me" Tadashi needed to stop being surprised whenever he saw Kuroo laugh. (He also needed to stop his heart from doing stupid flips for the same)

"It just seem weird"

"What does?"

"Seeing you two as friends. You two are so different from each other. How did you even meet?" It was the first time he was curious about the bastard (his excuse, if you ever called him out for it, was that he was more interested in knowing about Yaku-san).

"Yeah well we weren't friends at first. He probably hated me in the beginning." There was a slight blush that ran across the expansion of the rooster head's cheeks, which did nothing to help Tadashi’s racing heart "I asked him out and he rejected me right in front of everyone. Later I found out he had a massive crush on my roommate. So like the good guy I am, I offered to set him up"

There were so many questions that popped up in his brain, but he chose to ask the one that was bothering him the most "You asked him out? I thought you were straight"

There was a flash of shock in those hazel eyes, but then the blush deepened "Why- Why would you even think that?"

"I mean you had a girlfriend in high school" he should've let it go. It shouldn't have mattered if the bastard was straight or not. It had nothing to do with Tadashi. He should've just let it go. But watching Kuroo's blush set deeper and seeing him flustered was somewhat satisfying (and arousing but we'll ignore that for now).

"When? When did I hav- oh yeah" the bastard's face turned a little sad as he remembered "She wasn't my girlfriend. I was-" hazel eyes stared at him, filled with emotions that Tadashi couldn't understand "I was a little confused back then. I was- I had a- It was around that time when I came to terms with my sexuality."

"Oh" Tadashi tried not to let his frown show up on his face. Around that time. With the way the bastard used to act there was no way Tadashi would've predicted that Kuroo was anything but straight.

"Yeah," Kuroo smiled sheepishly.

"So" Tadashi tried to change the subject to air out the awkwardness he created "You set Yaku-san with your roommate. Still don't know how you became friends."

"Well I was friends with Kai, my roommate. So we crossed paths a lot and I guess after some time Yakkun finally realized what a charming friend I was”, Kuroo placed a hand over his chest with a saintly face, making Yamaguchi smile.

Yamaguchi's snort was drowned when a new voice joined the conversation "More like I took pity on you. Without me and Kai you had no friends."

It had only been two days but Yamaguchi felt like it had been weeks since he last saw the department head. Yaku-san, who looked crisp and put together any time of the day, looked sick. His short hair looked matted which did nothing but enhance the dark circles and the lifeless skin. And there was a visible dent in his usually full cheeks.

"Yaku-san!" Yamaguchi expressed his excitement with a big smile "Going for lunch?"

"Ah no Tadashi" The department head offered a sad smile and lifted his coffee mug in display "Just came here for a refill"

"You know Yakkun, that's not actually good for your health," Kuroo teased from over Tadashi's shoulder.

Yaku looked at Kuroo in annoyance but then his face lit into a smirk "And you know Tetsurou" he said in the same condescending tone Kuroo had used, his eyes landing on Tadashi "what you're doing is not good for your health either"

The bastard let out a flustered sound, there was a look that was passed between the two, switching on Tadashi's curious button.

"What you're doing-?" He looked at Kuroo in question, expecting an explanation. But his boss looked beet red and refused to meet his eyes.

"Nothing- that's none of your business" The mean tone was back, piercing right through Tadashi's heart "You really should stop slacking freckles. Or I'll have to give you more work"

"I wasn't-"

"I don't need more excuses. Either go have lunch or go back to work. Just get out from here" 

Tadashi was taken aback at the abrupt change in Kuroo's demeanor. He stared at the bastard dumbfounded, hoping that he would get an apology for the harsh treatment but the bastard had turned his back to him. Even Yaku-san was frowning at Kuroo.

"Ignore him Tadashi. It's your break, you can do whatever you want to" Yaku-san smiled reassuringly. "How's the preparation going?"

Yamaguchi took Yaku-san’s advice and chose to ignore his extremely rude boss. He walked past the rooster head to stand beside Yaku-san instead. He felt something brush his back, and by the time he turned to check the bastard was already out of the room. He stared at the door for a couple of seconds before remembering the other occupant in the room.

"I- um" it took him a moment to divert his confused and hurt brain to the question "it's going fine. I'm just a little nervous about the presentation."

"Mai said something, didn't she?" Yaku asked frowning as he waited for his cup to fill "this is some weird tradition of the department. Don't listen to them, it's just a stupid bet they make to see if you'll mess up or not. That's what they did with Keiji too."

"Oh" Tadashi replied meekly, "even if you say this I'll still probably be nervous about messing up."

"Yeah it's natural to be nervous" 

Tadashi realized after he got another one of Yaku-san's reassuring smiles, that he had actually missed the department head a lot. The thought of missing Yaku-san brought back an image of a very depressed silver blonde. "Have you talked to Lev?" 

When Yaku-san froze, the hand reaching out for the cup stopping in mid air, Tadashi got his answer.

"I have been meaning to" it sounded like an excuse when the smaller man tried desperately to avoid eye contact "Did he say anything?"

"Yeah that you kissed him" Tadashi slapped a hand over his mouth (his stupid stupid blabbermouth) in surprise. "I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"He told you?" There was no surprise in Yaku-san's voice, just exhaustion.

"Ah well yeah he was drunk and he was all mopey" Tadashi tried to explain in an over gesture of waving hands.

"He was drunk?" Yaku turned to him in shock, eyes wide. "oh my god did I take advantage of him? I haven't even apologized properly. What the hell is wro-" 

"No no no Yaku-san! He wasn't drunk when you kissed him. He got drunk after you left." He should've stopped there. He should've stopped there but he couldn't control his outspoken mouth "Although you still technically took advantage of him" (fuck!)

"Thank you for the reminder Yamaguchi" It was a good thing that Yaku-san wasn't offended by his jabs. Or else he would probably be jobless right now.

"I'm sorry"

"No, I deserve it." Yaku-san stared at the coffee slowly dripping into his mug. "How is he?"

Tadashi liked Yaku-san, but he liked Lev more (which was a shocking realization for him too). He had seen how hurt Lev had been, but looking at Yaku-san he realized it had the same effect on the department head as well. Yaku had desperation in eyes, the same ones he had seen in Lev's. He smiled at the thought. 

Yaku-san probably liked Lev too.

"Honestly not very good. He is always distracted, or on the verge of crying. He usually spends his break in front of your office even though Kiyoko-san keeps shooing him away"

"I-" Yaku-san had somehow managed to look even worse than he did when he first walked in "I don't know what to do with him. You're his friend, right Tadashi? Just tell him to stop whatever he's doing. It's not gonna happen."

"Oh no no if someone is going to crush his hopes it's not me. It's you" (well if he was gonna go down at least he could get his point across) 

"Yamaguchi, you don't understand. He looked so devastated at the party. He's so young! He doesn't get it. Maybe in the future, after he's seen the world. Or maybe I should break it right now when it's time, the more I wait the harder it would hurt" at some point Yaku had stopped addressing Yamaguchi and had started talking to himself. Tadashi was trying to find a chance to sneak past the head when his phone vibrated in his pocket, grabbing the attention of Yaku.

"It's Lev." Not waiting for a reaction, Tadashi chose to pick the call "Hello?"

"Where are you? I brought you sandwiches but you're not at your desk" Lev asked from the other side, Tadashi could hear Akaashi-san and Mai-san talking in the background.

"I'm in the break room" Yamaguchi glanced at the department head before mentioning "with Yaku-san." The head looked at him in surprise, eyes wide with fright.

"What!?" Tadashi had to distant his phone away from his ear at the loud exclamation "Wait right there I'm coming. Don't let him leave."

"I'll try" but the expression on the department head's face made it clear that there was no way he would listen to Tadashi. Yaku grabbed his coffee and walked past Tadashi in a flash. "Don't bother he just left"

"What? Stop him Yamaguchi. Stop him" Lev sounded like he was running "I need to talk to him"

"He's gone Lev" Tadashi sighed 

"I told you to stop him!"

"I tried!" (He didn't) 

"I know when you're lying" Lev appeared at the door of the break room, huffing in exhaustion "how did he look?"

"Terrible" Yamaguchi replied honestly "He really looked like he needed a break" Lev leaned at the door frame, looking disheartened at the news. "He also said he needs to apologize to you probably for that night"

"I don't need an apology" 

"I know"

"I just want to talk to him" 

"I know"

—

8 years ago

It was his turn to clean the court. Well to be honest it was his and Tsukki's turn to clean the court but Tsukki was not feeling very well and had injured his finger during practice. So like the good best friend he was, he sent Tsukki home and took the responsibility on himself.

It wasn't that hard to clean the practice room. He just had to wipe the floors and organize the volleyballs into their correct places and then put the nets into the club room and clean all the windows and then put all the cleaning supplies back into the store room and then he was done! It was never a two person job anyway. He could do this alone, granted it would take twice as long but he wasn't complaining.

He found a certain peace in being alone, especially after a crazy day of practice. There was rarely a time where he felt happy or at peace when he was in school. Each morning he would wake up a sad sigh and dread the day. It was so hard for him to drag his feet to school. Even Tsukki had started to notice his lack of enthusiasm, and he was pretty sure the blonde had figured out the cause too. 

Shaking his head, he tried to forget about the face that had been haunting him since the beginning of the year. But things were getting better. He was practicing hard enough every day, enough to make his presence known in the court. Maybe soon his one specific senpai would stopping hating him so much 

Tadashi hurled the rolled nets over his shoulder after he locked the court. As he climbed the steps of his club room he realized how late it was. The sky had gotten dark, even the moon peaked from the clouds. He regretted not wearing his jacket as a cold breeze graced him.

The door to their club room was wide open, which made him a little worried. It was late and the members had left. For a passing moment as he carried the heavy net he wondered if there was someone inside waiting for him. Just a little thought made his heart race. 

It was stupid. He probably shouldn't feel that way. He shouldn't get excited by a voice that was always demeaning him. He shouldn't be obsessed with the eyes that were filled with mirth every time they turned his way. He shouldn't have a crush on someone who bullied him.

He tried to calm his racing heart as he walked closer to the club room.

He froze. His heart beat stilled for half a second. The person he was hoping was there. In the club room.

Kissing a girl.

There was something inside of him that he could feel shattering. Maybe it was the hopeful delusion he had carefully constructed in his head. Or maybe it was just his deranged heart.

He had seen Kuroo-senpai with her a couple of times during lunch. She was the captain of the girls volleyball team. And now she was standing here, her back towards Tadashi kissing his senpai.

He didn't understand why it pained him to see them kiss.

He couldn't move his legs, couldn't let his presence known. He stood there as the pain seeped in his heart. At some point Kuroo-senpai's eyes opened, he was facing the door so it was easy for him to see Tadashi.

Tadashi didn't move. Neither did Kuroo-senpai. They continued to stare, Tadashi could feel his heartbeat racing. He should move. He should leave. Give them privacy. He should move. But he couldn't feel his legs.

Those hazel eyes were still on him.

Yamaguchi felt like crying. It was as if all his energy had been drained from his body and now even a simple task like breathing was hard.

The net slipped from his hands, and he made no attempt to catch it. They landed on the floor with a dull thud, unraveling a little. There was a shuffle from the practice room, but he couldn't dare to look back up. He was sure if he saw her face he would start crying.

He bent down to pick the net up when she walked past him in a hurry, bumping into him in the process. A whisper of apology was uttered to him when his senpai ran after her and then he was alone in the practice room. 

He silently put the net in its place and grabbed his bag. He didn't bother changing or putting on a jacket. He locked the door with shaking hands.

All the while he walked home there was only one thought in his head. Just a little longer. Just hold it a little longer and then you can cry as much as you want.

He didn't understand back then that he had just experienced a heartbreak. At that time he went to his room, avoiding his mother, and cried the entire night. The next day he woke up with a red blotchy face and his mother's concern. He had lied and said he had just overworked himself in the practice (which she didn't believe) and had asked if he could take a day off. His mother had looked at him for a long time and had agreed reluctantly.

Back then he didn't know what was wrong in feeling that way.

Back then all he felt was unbearable pain.

-x-

When he got back to his desk, with a sulky Lev trailing behind, Kuroo was there. His hands resting on his waist, sleeves rolled up to the elbows (he needs to stop before he enters dangerous territory).

The bastard looked at him for a brief second, Tadashi could tell by the expression that his boss was avoiding him. It did anger him a little, to be treated with less respect. He had already addressed the rude behavior once, he could do it again if he had to.

"These two are finally here." The bastard said when Tadashi and Lev settled in their desks "Everyone, gather around. I have news."

When all the team members had diverted their attention to Kuroo he proceeded "So the management wants some support from our team for the annual league. So some of us would've to go to Yokohama and-"

"I volunteer," Mai-san raised her hand in excitement.

"That's not how it works" Futakuchi-san said while rolling his eyes, then he added "but if you're actually looking for volunteers, I would like to go too." (Which earned him a side eye from Mai).

"Actually it's already been decided who would go" Kuroo said sheepishly, Tadashi wasn't really paying attention to the conversation. His eyes were the veiny hands of his boss. (He was already in dangerous territory with no regrets). "The management thinks it would be appropriate if the juniors understand the ins and outs of the league. So they would be a better assist in the future."

"Wait what?" 

"So from our team it would be Lev, Yamaguchi and myself as a supervision" Kuroo smiled at Nametsu-san's horrified face "Don't bother complaining it's the management's decision. Besides Yakkun is still trying to argue with them" 

The giant beside Tadashi sat up straight. "Yaku-san is coming too?"

Yamaguchi could feel the gears turning in the silver-heads brain. One look at him and Tadashi knew exactly what Lev was thinking. When emerald eyes turned towards him in excitement he whispered "Don't"

"You haven't heard it yet" Lev whispered back, excitement still evident.

"And I don't want to. Whatever you're thinking, it's stupid" 

Before Lev had a chance to reply, someone cleared their throat, getting their attention back to Kuroo. "Should I stop? Am I disturbing your conversation?" The bastard asked innocently.

Yamaguchi lowered his face in chagrin, feeling his entire face warm up. He shook his head as an answer.

"As I was saying" the bastard continued "it's just a 4 day trip and the expenses would be handled by the company-"

"You know this is not helping, this is just adding fuel to the fire" Futakuchi-san interrupted. "Keiji, say something! This is not fair" 

"I'd rather stay here," Akaashi-san said in a bored voice. He hadn't bothered to turn around and face Kuroo like everyone else had, and was busy working on his computer "with Kuroo-san not here we can probably leave early from work. That would be much better than spending 4 days with him."

Mai laughed at the offended glare Kuroo sent to Akaashi-san's back. "Well now I feel a little better about not going."

"I'm not that bad '' Kuroo said to the back of Akaashi's head. 

"I know," Akaashi-san replied, "but if I had to choose to go home to my husband and spend time with you. Which do you think I'll pick?" This earned a laugh from the entire team.

"Fair enough"

—

"But taking inexperienced employees would be double the work" he was already having a hard day. No scratch that, everyday was hard for him. Every day was stressful and gave him a headache. "And you expect me to teach them? I already have so much on my plate. I won't have time to babysit them."

"We've been over this Mori" Misaki said in her calm tone, like she was trying not to anger him more (which he appreciated but it wasn't working) "just let them trail you. Kids these days are so enthusiastic about learning. They'll understand just by seeing you in action."

Misaki Hana was the only HR he could tolerate. She had worked in development before shifting so she knew the basics and wasn't like the others who acted like they knew everything. Although she was a little pretentious like the rest of them.

"You think I like having a crowd follow me everywhere I go?" It was just the two of them in the conference room. He had stayed back to discuss (complain) about the decision management was going with. 

"It's just 3 kids. We don't have many juniors this year." She collected her laptop and started walking towards the door, assuming the end of the discussion.

"3 is still a crowd" he hissed in annoyance.

"Alright what is it?" She turned back in curiosity "Why are you being difficult? You usually like interacting with your department."

There was a reason. A 195 cm tall reason. He had planned a strategy to deal with Lev. He was going to turn the kid down, (one final time) right before the trip. And after that he would leave for the business trip and won't see Lev for an entire week, making the rejection a little less painful for the kid. Until the management decided to fuck his life.

"I just don't see the need to bring amateurs when we have great experience in our team" he stood up as well, following Hana.

"It's not about experience. You know it too. We pulled all the experienced professionals for the league last year and then the projects we were working on were behind the schedule. It took us a lot of time to get back on track and we also took a hit from the investors because of this. We can't afford that right now. So this is the best we can do"

"But why do I have to teach them?" He didn't really mind teaching. In fact he enjoyed it. After his promotion his work mostly revolved around managing projects rather than the technical part. Teaching the basics to newer employees was always exciting for him. 

"Because you're the perfect candidate. You're knowledgeable. Better than all of the leads in the department. You're very patient when you're teaching. You don't get irritated when someone asks too many-" There was a look on her face, which he was used to seeing from each of the management staff. And he was probably the only one who was immune to it.

"Stop buttering me, Tetsurou is good too. Ask him"

"Ah we need a tech lead while the league is going on, for emergencies or if anything crashes. He'll probably be more busy than you."

"You're not gonna budge are you" he sighed in defeat. He had to abandon his plan. He would probably continue avoiding the giant until it was extremely necessary. He was glad Kiyoko didn't question his weird instructions of keeping Lev away from his office.

"I'm sorry Mori" at least she had the decency to look apologetic.

"Fuck my life" he groaned.

"This reminds me. I've been meaning to talk to you about appropriate workplace language."

"Oh fucking hell"

Chapter Text

Who schedules a presentation at the end of the day? Shouldn't they be done first thing in the morning so you are relieved by all the stress as quickly as possible? So you can concentrate on your main work afterwards? 

But apparently in his company all the important official presentations are conducted at the end of the day. So he had to sit at his desk all day, stewing in his own anxiety and pretending to work like nothing was wrong. The rest of his team could clearly see his nervousness (because he kept messing up his code) and did their best to cheer him up. Even Akaashi-san, who never bothered to involve himself in any team bonding activity, came to give him a little pep talk.

His heart was beating a little too fast for his liking. He couldn't concentrate on his work the entire day, so the team took pity on him and sent him to the conference room an hour early (they said it was to calm him down but he knew they just wanted to get rid of him, so they could get some work done peacefully). 

Sitting alone in a huge (not to mention extremely fancy) conference room did nothing to help his anxiety. He went over his notes the fifteenth time, bouncing his legs in nervousness. He was on his last slide when the door opened. His heartbeat stopped for a second, there was still thirty minutes left for the meeting, he was not mentally prepared to face anyone right now. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the department head at the door, followed by his team lead.

"You're here early Tadashi," Yaku-san said with a smile. Behind him, the bastard regarded him with narrowed eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" Kuroo asked, after studying him quietly, as he took a seat beside Tadashi.

"Ju- just nervous" he tried to sound casual but his stuttering ruined his plans. He watched as Yaku took a seat at the head of the conference table, the reality of the situation creeped up on him. 

"Look at me" his chair whirled to face the bastard (forcefully). His breath hitched at how close those hazel eyes were to him. "Take a deep breath, Tadashi" 

It took his brain a couple of seconds to register the command. And then another couple of seconds to realize that the bastard had said his name.

"It'll be fine. Even if you mess up. It's going to be fine. Yakkun will handle it, okay?" A scoff was heard from Yaku-san’s direction, but Tadashi was too distracted by the soft voice of Kuroo. The bastard had his hands on either side of Tadashi's chair, trapping him. "Just breathe and don't worry about it."

Strangely he did feel calmer, his heart was still racing (for a totally different reason because this close, all he could smell was peaches) but he could feel his anxiety shriveling down.

"It's a little like being on court. You're nervous right before the match starts but once you're on the court all you can think about is keeping the ball in play. Nothing else matters." The soft smile on Kuroo's face made Tadashi want to lean in a little further "I've seen you on court, Tadashi. I know how focused you get before your serve. Just think about that while you're giving the presentation"

Maybe it was the setting or maybe it was the way Kuroo was looking at him, but he felt the buried resentment bubble up. Why was Kuroo so nice to him now? Where was it eight years ago? What did he possibly do wrong back then to deserve being bullied? He resented Kuroo for making his life a mess like that.  But he resented himself more for enjoying the attention he was getting now.

"Are you done?" A bored voice interrupted his spiraling thoughts. He caught Yaku-san’s eyes, who’s frown deepened "Tadashi. Get a grip. It's not the end of the world. Even if you mess up we can afford to lose this customer so don't worry about it"

"You don't have to lie to make him feel better Yakkun" Kuroo turned to address the head, hands still trapping Tadashi in his chair. 

"I'm not lying. I've brought many clients for this company, if we lose this one I can get some more." Yaku-san shrugged calmly, sending shivers down Tadashi’s spine.

"Wow, that's kinda cool Yaku-san" Tadashi couldn't help but exclaim in awe.

"I agree. That was kinda hot Yakkun" Kuroo grinned, finally setting Tadashi free from his clutches (not that he was enjoying it or anything. But he did miss the closeness). "Now I get why Lev likes you so much"

"Kuroo" there was threat (a malicious one at that) dripping from Yaku-san's tone "Not now"

"I'm just saying if you give him a chance-"

"I said not now!"

Tadashi chose to tune out the rest of the bickering (mostly out of respect for Yaku-san). And tried to focus on creating a mental image of his presentation. He took a couple of deep breaths, the same ones he took before his jump serves. He could do it . He had put all his hard work into it. He could do it .

As the time for the presentation neared, people started filtering inside the conference room. Every new face that walked in gave him a cold stare (or most probably it was just his imagination). Yaku greeted everyone, and made sure to introduce Yamaguchi to them. 

Yamaguchi was good with names, he prided himself in that skill, but for some reason that skill was lost somewhere between nervousness and short breaths. One of the older people was kind enough to start a light conversation with him. Which was basically him asking Yamaguchi how work was treating him and Tadashi replying with something incoherent. Although the interaction did make Tadashi a little less nervous.

Once everyone had settled down in their respective places Kuroo, who had been quiet the entire time, gestured to him to start with the presentation. 

Taking a deep breath he imagined himself on the court. It brought him a sense of calm. He had played in some tough matches before, even got badly injured in one. A presentation was nothing compared to that. 

"Good evening everyone. My name is Yamaguchi Tadashi. I'm here to present the business analysis of the new project 'Titanium'"

His eyes, despite the brief confidence he felt, kept running back to the two familiar faces they knew. Yaku, on his part, nodded along, letting Tadashi know that he was doing fine. Kuroo on the other hand was leaning back in his chair, a smirk on his face (which was definitely not distracting). It felt nice, knowing there were people rooting for him.

___

He admits it, he liked having a little bit of anxiety, because he liked it when his heart raced a little too fast and when he got those nervous tingles in his fingertips. There was a thrill in it, like he did something adventurous (it was adventurous for him when he did something out of his comfort zone. Don't judge him).

He basked in the glory and the thrill of finishing the presentation while he packed up his things. The rest of the team had already gone home. They had offered to stay behind and wait for him to be done but he had insisted that they leave (mostly because if the presentation went wrong he didn't want any of them to see him cry).

"Done?"  Kuroo, who had been leaning beside his desk waiting for him to finish packing the entire time, asked in a cheerful tone.

It was a strange day for him. After the presentation Kuroo had graciously offered to drop Tadashi off back to his apartment. 

"Now we can have a celebration" The bastard had said with a cheshire grin. After the presentation Kuroo had caught him sneaking out of the conference room. But instead of berating him, the bastard had joined in.

"Can't. Have dishes to wash (don't ask him. Even he doesn't know how he ends up with a sink full of dishes every day). Besides, it takes me an hour to get back to my place. By that time I just need my bed" Maybe it was the residual adrenaline in his bloodstream but he found himself in a very chatty mood.

"One hour? Wow" the bastard walked him to the lift. Yaku-san had stayed behind to address the investors, but he had given Yamaguchi a wink with an approving thumbs up when no one was looking.

"Yeah, I have to change two trains and then take a bus." Yamaguchi explained. He was half expecting the bastard to leave him once the lift arrived but to his surprise the bastard got in with him.

"You know what? I'll drop you off-" before Kuroo could make the offer Yamaguchi cut him off with frantic waving of his hands.

"Oh no no that's fine" Sharing an office with the bastard was enough torture for him, he couldn’t handle an even smaller space. 

"It's no big deal. We can have celebratory dinner on the way" Kuroo gave him a smile. The bastard had been smiling all day, and it was hard to keep his walls up when Kuroo was like this.  

"Just us?" Tadashi found himself asking, although he did not really mind it. But again, close proximity with Kuroo had never provided healthy outcomes. 

"Well-" There was an awkward silence as Kuroo scratched his hair, mortified. The silence continued until they reached their floor, that’s when Kuroo mustered up the courage to speak again. "If that's uncomfortable for you we can get it packed and then you can have it when you reach home. I just wanted to treat you because this was your first presentation and you’ve been beating yourself over it"

"You really don't have to" Yamaguchi was slowly losing the fight to resist. Kuroo looked genuinely saddened by Tadashi’s reluctance.  

"You deserve a little reward for all your hard work" Kuroo opened the door for Tadashi, everyone else in the department had already gone home. “But I won’t force you if you don’t want to”

What bothered him was the fact that he could’ve said no. Because clearly he wasn’t ready for that type of interaction but he was overcomed with a wave of happiness when Kuroo had asked. Like his senpai had finally realized his worth. A part of him was sad too, the earlier confusion had tumbled back onto the center of his mind. Why was there such a stark difference between the Kuroo now and the Kuroo he knew in high school? He never understood what he did wrong back then to receive so much hate.

Even after Kuroo had left school, Tadashi continued to feel insecure in his own skin. Thinking that it was his fault to be treated like that. So when the one person who’s validation he seeked for so long finally gave him attention he couldn’t help but say yes, even though he knew it would probably hurt him in the long run.

“So is there something you wanna eat?” Kuroo asked him, smile returning back to its place, as they both made their way to the parking lot. “It’s my treat after all, for your hard work.”

“It was just a presentation” Tadashi tried to drown the compliment under his groan. He didn’t want it to get to his head.

“It’s ironic how we’ve been saying that to you all week but now, after it's over, you realize it” Kuroo gently veered him toward his car, hands hovering at the small of Tadashi’s back. (Which Tadashi desperately tried to ignore)

Tadashi had been trying to control his smiles but his attempts failed when one finally escaped his clutches. He was still smiling when they reached Kuroo’s car, a red and black Subaru, and once it was there it was difficult to remove it. So he made no attempts to hide it when Kuroo looked at him as he opened the passenger door for Tadashi.  

“How did I do, though?” He asked when Kuroo started the car “Any points?”

“We’ll discuss those tomorrow, we’re off work now.” Kuroo smirked. He placed a hand on Tadashi’s headrest as he pulled the car into reverse, and Tadashi was suddenly hyper aware of his surroundings. Like the strong smell of peaches (and something more subtle which he couldn't quite place) or the slight brush of Kuroo’s hand on his shoulders.  

Tring to ignore the hand too close to his face he groaned “Don’t tell me you want to talk about anime now.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Kuroo glanced at him briefly before turning his eyes back to the road “Hey you used to love it, you even had a sailor moon keychain back in high school, what changed?”

You , his outspoken mouth wanted to say, you happened . But for the first time in a while he actually stopped his mouth from running off (a tremendous feat in itself).

“Well I’m not saying I don’t like anime. I mean I cosplay and everything. I just don’t know if it’s an appropriate thing to talk about with your boss” Tadashi tried to explain. It was part true, even if it was someone other than Kuroo it would’ve been inappropriate to discuss casual topics with a colleague.  

“Hey” Kuroo looked at him sternly while the car came to a stop at the traffic signal “We’re more than colleagues, we went to school together. We played on the same team. We’re friends Yamaguchi” The winning smirk Kuroo gave, ticked him off. He snorted in amusement at the declaration. 

“What was that for?” Kuroo asked in surprise, triggered by the mocking response. 

“When were we ever friends Kuroo-san? You’ve-” Tadashi stopped his snark short, he thought about it for a second. He desperately wanted to pour all his frustrations over Kuroo but it wouldn’t be right if he actually did. It would be satisfying for just a brief second but he wasn’t ready to face the aftereffects. 

“We weren’t friends?” For a brief moment Tadashi thought he imagined the hurt in Kuroo’s voice but when he glanced at his boss there was no sign of displeasure.

“No,” He answered honestly, at which there was a visible sign of hurt in Kuroo’s face. Tadashi realized then that Kuroo had actually made efforts to be nicer to him. Hell, he was dropping Yamaguchi off when his own place was on the opposite side of the city. He then made an attempt (a poor one if you asked me) to salvage the situation “You were my senpai! And we knew each other for just one year, half of which was spent in endless training for the nationals. We never really talked.”

“I guess that’s true,” Kuroo whispered. They both stayed silent for the rest of the ride. Kuroo stared at the road, frowning, and Tadashi debated several times whether he should break the tension or stay silent. When he finally reached a conclusion Kuroo had already parked the car in a narrow street, in front of a traditional ramen shop.  

“They make good soba here” Kuroo said after the engine was silenced, to Tadashi he sounded a little disheartened “Would you like to try?”

When he got out of the car he looked around in amazement. The road looked nearly empty, it was a surprise to find a ramen shop in an abandoned place like that.

“Kuroo-san” He said once both of them were out of the car and Kuroo was within hearing distance “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make things awkward-”

“No you’re right. I didn’t realize this before” Kuroo made an attempt to sound cheerful, he walked ahead to open the door for Yamaguchi “We weren’t friends. So let’s start over.”

“What?” Yamaguchi looked at his boss in surprise, trying to see if he had heard wrong. But Kuroo didn't explain again. He just silently ushered Yamaguchi to the empty table in the corner, smiling mysteriously the entire time.

For a small shop in the middle of nowhere the place was actually pleasantly full. The old lady behind the counter greeted Kuroo with a wrinkly smile. When they both settled down, Kuroo looked into Tadashi's eyes and proclaimed.

“Let’s be friends Yamaguchi” this time the smile was warm and hesitant, like it was afraid that Yamaguchi would say no.

Flabbergasted, that was the word Yamaguchi felt. He gaped at the man sitting opposite him waiting for his reply. With the lack of response Kuroo decided it was better to continue than let it settle into awkward stillness.

“So” Kuroo crossed his arms on the table, and for a fleeting moment he felt like he was sitting in an interview with how serious Kuroo looked “Where should we start?”

Yamaguchi laughed at how much effort Kuroo was putting “You don’t have to do it.” he said, internally scolding his racing heart to quit it.

“No. I want to and don’t feel pressured because I’m your boss. If you don't want to then you can just say so.” 

Yamaguchi smiled. He really appreciated whatever Kuroo was trying to do. Even though he could never shut down his wounded past, he didn't mind starting over again. For the past few days Kuroo had been nothing like the bastard in his past.

“Although I do have a question I wanted to ask you” Kuroo turned back to ask, after giving their orders to the old granny (which mostly consisted of Kuroo shouting their orders until the lady understood) “Why did you opt for the gaming industry? Usually kids with IT background go after the software giants”

“I always liked games, I mean who wouldn’t.” Yamaguchi sank back in his seat as the memories flashed behind his eyes, he smiled as he recalled the incidents “Back in high school I was going through a hard time” Kuroo's face contoured into confusion but he tried not to pay attention to it and continued “But Kenma-san used to call me to his house or take me to the school roof to take my mind off things. So video games kinda reminds me of the happier time, plus coding is actually fun once you understand what you’re doing”

Kuroo nodded at his answer, sporting a nostalgic smile of his own. “Yeah Kenma really liked you, he used to talk about you a lot too” Yamaguchi found himself beaming at the affirmation “even I got into this company because of him. He was here first as a part time tester and he told me about the opening.”

“Yeah I met him the other day,” Yamaguchi's smile brightened when he remembered the unexpected encounter “He hasn’t changed much”

“Hey, do you want his phone number?" Kuroo bounced up in excitement "I’m sure he’d like to catch up with you. He was asking about you the other day”

“Oh yeah that would be great” Yamaguchi agreed as the old lady placed two steaming bowls of nameko soba on their table “I would’ve asked him for his number but we were in an elevator and there was a Lev situation”

After exchanging the number, they talked. And for the first time Yamaguchi enjoyed talking to Kuroo. For once he didn't let his defense wall hinder his judgment and there was no regret. It didn't feel hostile or malicious. It felt nice, like talking to a friend over dinner after a long day. Turns out they both had the same taste in anime, which prompted an hour long discussion on characters, plots and theories (he could hear Kei's voice in his head calling him a nerd). 

“But that’s the thing, Shoto and Dabi together can’t defeat Endeavour” They were back in Kuroo’s car, and their healthy discussion (read: heated debate) was not coming to a conclusion anytime soon.

“You don’t know that!” responded Yamaguchi, staring at the profile of Kuroo with mock glare.

“They wouldn’t” Kuroo smacked the steering wheel in frustration “Endeavour is more experienced”

“So?” Yamaguchi raised his eyebrows in defiance, even though he knew Kuroo wouldn’t be looking at him any time soon. “Dabi has it too, I know not enough but Dabi has experience too. And we can’t forget that Shoto has ice. They can fuck up Endeavour’s body temperature with that!”

Kuroo considered the argument for a while, a slight pout evident on his features. Yamaguchi knew he had finally won the debate but Kuroo continued with a sour tone. “There is a reason Endeavour is number one”

“He was only number one because All Might lost his powers” Yamaguchi wasn’t one to use petty moves for his advantage but he was having fun. And in that state it was difficult to make judgements with his conscience.

“I admit he’s weaker than All Might-” Kuroo said in defeat. 

“No no. What I’m trying to say is that Endeavour had flaws too” Yamaguchi leaned his head back, trying hard to terminate his smile (but failing). “There is no knowing. There might be a possibility of Dabi and Shoto defeating him together”

"Alright you have a point" Kuroo cocked his head in Tadashi’s direction, a similar smile playing on his face "Hey you wanna grab some coffee?"

"Coffee?" Yamaguchi asked in confusion. 

"Yeah" He watched in wonder as a deep flush spread across Kuroo’s face "I just thought- I mean we don't have to"

He looked out of the window in contemplation. He had an aversion to coffee but he didn’t want to go home just yet (or maybe he didn’t want to part with Kuroo. He would never admit this to anyone though). Somewhere in the back of his head he could hear Kei’s voice telling him it won’t be a good idea but he ignore it like he always did and said “Alright, let’s get coffee” 

When he did get home, two hours later, he was proud to admit that he didn’t regret his decision. He had a surprisingly good time. Maybe he had been defensive for no reason, maybe Kuroo had changed. He was still smiling when he waved Kuroo goodbye, heart skipping every now and then.

He was still smiling when he opened his door and heard his neighbor yelling through the walls.

“WHO IN THIS UNGRATEFUL HOUSE HAS BEEN SMOKING CIGARETTES? YOU RATS! YOU PATHETIC RATS! IS THIS HOW YOUR FATHER AND I RAISED YOU-”

He was still smiling when he went to sleep that night. 

___

He was late, which accounted for the running. He had overslept and had forgotten to set an alarm, which resulted in the quick (not to mention cold) shower. He bumped into a couple of pedestrians while running, but he made no attempts to slow down. Because he was excited. He was meeting the one person who made his high school life less miserable (other than Tsukki obviously).

When he reached the café, out of breath, he surveyed the room in excitement. The blonde was sitting hunched in the corner, sipping an iced americano. He looked up, from behind his curtain bangs, when Yamaguchi showed up. Kenma smiled in greeting.  

When Yamaguchi contacted Kenma, the latter had expressed his enthusiasm to meet in person (it was a little unsettling how cheerful Kenma-san sounded over text). Yamaguchi had agreed without a second of thought.  

"So? How have you been Kenma-san" He asked when he settled opposite Kenma, sipping his own latte.

"Why do you always have to sound so formal? Kenma is fine" The blonde smiled shyly “I’m good Tadashi. Although it was a surprise to see you there in the company I didn't think you would be that into games. I always thought you stayed with me because you took pity on me"

"No! What are you talking about? You were like the first friend I ever made after Tsukki. I always liked it when we played games together” Yamaguchi affirmed “It was nice."

"It was nice for me too,” Kenma whispered back, stirring his coffee with the straw. “You reminded me of my younger self." Tadashi didn’t really know if it was a compliment or not but he found himself grinning at the proclamation.

"So what's Kuroo like as a boss?" Kenma asked, tilting his head slightly (which made Tadashi smile because it was an old habit of Kenma’s and it brought back more happy memories).

"Surprisingly nice. He's very supportive. The other day he took me out for dinner." Yamaguchi answered, 

Kenma looked up for a second before going back to stirring his drink, raising his eyebrows in interest "Just you? Or the whole team" There was something else other than curiosity in Kenma-san’s question, but it was hard to identify.  

"The rest of the team had already left, so just me." Yamaguchi tried not to let the curiosity bother him and answered truthfully. However when Kenma made a face at Yamaguchi’s answer he found himself asking "What? Was it wrong?"

"No. I just remembered something" Kenma shook his head gently, fingers making random pattern on the table "Kuroo always had a soft spot for you"

The snort he let out was filled with anger rather than amusement and he smiled in sarcasm when Kenma raised his head to look at him in confusion "Yeah right"

"No, I'm serious. Back then he made sure you were part of the drill. And he asked Suga-san to toss you more whenever you played on the court, because he knew you were more comfortable with Suga-san than me" Kenma explained in monotone.

"But he was so mean to me," Yamaguchi complained childishly. There was no way Kuroo liked him back then. The way he treated Tadashi clearly reflected how much the bastard hated Tadashi.  

"Well he was immature, and he still is,” Kenma explained with a shrug, which made Yamaguchi frown “You know how small kids are mean to the ones they like, maybe it was something like that" Another shrug "I mean Kuroo was definitely capable of doing that."

Yamaguchi stared at his empty cup in confusion, brows knitting together. This was a new revelation. It made sense and felt ridiculous at the same time. He had finally started to overlook the past, and Kuroo had finally started being nice to him. He didn’t want this news to hinder their current relationship. But there was no way he could ignore the fact now.

"That's ridiculous-" he laughed awkwardly "He never really liked me back then. You know that better than anyone else" 

Kenma hummed in response, continuing to swirl his straw. The hum however, sounded a bit closed off and secretive, switching on Tadashi’s overthinking side of the brain. He knew if he thought too much it would probably ruin his day. 

"There's going to be a gaming league, I’m leaving for Yokohama tomorrow to attend it. Do you know anything about it?" He tried to change the subject, and succeeded when he saw Kenma-san look up, eyes shining in excitement.

"Yeah" Kenma sank back in his seat. For someone who didn’t know Kenma very well, they would probably assume that the blonde was not interested in the conversation with how he kept looking out of the window and playing with his drink. But in actuality, all these signs indicated that Kenma was clearly enjoying the interaction (something Tadashi took pride in)   “It’s a three day tournament. Usually companies broadcast only the finals but your company likes to show the preliminaries as well. Which is a good tactic, in this way the viewers get more time to pick their favorites. And even the cash price is a hefty amount. All of this for just advertising the company games.” Kenma gave a nod in approval.   

"Are you going to play?" 

"No"

"Why not? I've seen your streams, you probably have a better chance of winning than anyone else" 

"The tournament is played in teams. I've already tried that" Kenma glanced up mischievously, “I don't think I have the energy to play in a team anymore. Volleyball was enough for me"

Yamaguchi found himself laughing at how exhausted Kenma sounded “I understand, Kenma-san”

“So” Kenma asked tilting his head again “You’ve seen my streams?”

“Of course I have-” Yamaguchi then started a long rant of how he had been following Kenma since the beginning and how he loved to watch the streams because they reminded him of how they both used to hang out. And then proceeded to tell Kenma, in extreme detail, all his favorite streams. Kenma listened patiently, smiling the entire time. 

___

It was when he had half of his clothes on the floor and half bunched up in his suitcase did he realize that he had missed Tsukki’s match. Of the two years Tsukki had played in Sendai Frog, he had made sure not to miss a single match. Guilt seeped into his veins as he searched for his phone under the load of clothes.

When he finally found it, inside an empty shoe box (no idea how that got there), he immediately called Tsukki’s number. He was on the cold floor, with his clothes flung carelessly in the entire room, he groaned internally thinking about cleaning the mess. That was the worst part about being an adult if you asked him, cleaning, he could never muster enough energy to clean every single day.

Tsukki didn’t pick up the first time, but he answered on the first ring when Yamaguchi called again. "How was the match?" Yamaguchi asked, switching the call on speaker so he could fold (read: shove) his clothes into his suitcase. 

"You didn't see?" Tsukki sounded genuinely surprised, there was some loud noise in the background. “That’s a first”

"Tsukki I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I had this big presentation and was tied up with wo-" Yamaguchi apologized quickly, they both had a tradition to talk after the match and this was the first time Yamaguchi had failed to call Tsukki. He made a mental note not to miss the next match. Tsukki was his only friend and he didn’t want to lose touch with his one and only friend.

"It's fine Yamaguchi. I'm not mad" Tsukki cut him off, like he could hear Tadashi’s internal monologue. After a beat of silence Tsukki informed in a casual tone "We won"

"Oh yay!" Yamaguchi yelled in joy, knowing full well that it would destroy Tsukki’s eardrums. He placed his phone beside him as he sorted his work pants into two piles "So is the new team better?"

"Well we do have some good players for this season. We're using a little more aggressive attacks this year. We changed our coach as well, his approach is a lot more difficult-" Tsukki’s monotone reminded him of Kenma-san, and slowly his mind traveled back to the conversation he had earlier that day. He hummed absentmindedly, not realizing that Tsukki had stopped talking.  

"You're not listening are you?" Tsukki asked, raising his voice which caught Yamaguchi’s sidetracked attention.

"I'm sorry I'm just a little distracted" Yamaguchi looked at the phone sheepishly.

"Say it," Tsukki asked in deadpan. 

"Oh no it's nothing" He shook his head in denial (even though Tsukki couldn’t see him).

"Yamaguchi" Tsukishima had a specific tone he used to extract all the hidden information from Yamaguchi, which worked every time (mostly because it sounded like Tsukki was disappointed in him and it always gave him an unsettling feeling in his stomach).

"Ok- umm so I met Kenma-san today. He said something that's been bothering me a lot" Yamaguchi looked down at the phone in anxiety.

"About what?" Tsukki had a habit of sounding emotionless when he was interrogating Yamaguchi. Which made Tadashi feel like he was a suspect in a crime documentary.

"The bastard" Yamaguchi muttered slowly, as he packed his dress shirt into the only empty space left in his bag. When he got no response from the other side, he glanced at his phone to check if the call was accidentally disconnected.

"I'm not surprised. But go on" Tsukki said, still sounding emotionless. 

"He said that Kuroo-san has a soft spot for me" He stared at his phone, waiting for a reply. But he didn’t get one. The silence stretched for a long time, making him nervous as the seconds went by.  

"Say something" He finally asked his phone, the silence making him uneasy.

"What do you want me to say?" Tsukki sounded disappointed, making Tadashi pause between folding clothes. He stared at his packed suitcase and the line of the shoes lined up beside it, mulling over his thoughts.

He knew that whatever Tsukki would respond would end up hurting Tadashi. He let out a frustrated sigh "Anything. What do you think about it?"

"Well he was a little childish, I'm assuming he still is. So him acting all mean just because he liked you, it kinda makes sense." (It was weird how Kei sounded so much like Kenma-san in that moment)

"No one said anything about  like-" Yamaguchi stared at the minute tick by on his phone, muttering meekly. 

"Tadashi" Tsukki sighed, sounding frustrated. "Don't get your hopes up"

"I'm not. That was in the past" he argued back, feeling like Tsukki could hear his thoughts. He whispered softly "I'm not going to repeat it" 

"Why would you mention it to me if you weren't planning on repeating it?" Tsukki asked harshly, making Yamaguchi sigh again. He laid back on the floor, on top of his clothes.

"So you can tell me how bad it would be" He stared at his moldy ceiling and sighed "You know very well I'll do something stupid if I keep thinking about it. I need someone to remind me that whatever I'm thinking is a bad idea."

"Tadashi" Tsukki gave a pitiful sigh. His stomach twisted into knots. He closed his eyes as Tsukki's stern voice filled the room "I'm going to be a little harsh here but you're delusional Tadashi. I don't think he's interested in you, and I'm pretty sure he'll never be. Even if something happens, don't you remember how he treated you back then? That was not healthy. He made your life miserable- Why am I talking you out of this already? Don’t tell me you still like him” 

“I don’t” even though he denied it truthfully, he still sounded a little reluctant  “It’s just- now he’s different, he treats me better. He's nice. He’s not as mean-”

“Are you hearing yourself?" Tsukki cut him off angrily. Yamaguchi opened his eyes in panic at how irritated Tsukki sounded "You sound like you’re asking me if you can go back to your toxic ex”

He laughed out loud. He could imagine how pissed Tsukki was, he could hear it in his best friend's voice. “I’m not. I’m just saying that we both have grown up and I know I won’t be like that pathetic mess I was back then” 

Tsukishima hummed in defeat, like he gave up on pushing some sense into Tadashi. There was some disturbance in the background, a lot of yelling and laughing.

“Where are you?” Tadashi asked, mainly because he didn't want to listen to Tsukki judge him and his unhealthy thoughts.

“At a team dinner. Coach thinks it would increase the team chemistry if we hang out off the court” Kei replied sarcastically. Yamaguchi could tell his best friend was rolling his eyes at his teammates, and smiled at the thought of a lone Tsukki hanging out with his boisterous team.

“Well it would do you some good. You can make some friends” Yamaguchi nodded in approval, getting back up to fold the rest of his clothes.

“I have you. That’s more than enough for me” Tsukki replied back with a sneer.

Yamaguchi laughed, happy that Kei's mind was diverted to a different topic. He knew Kei wanted the best for Tadashi and what he said was actually good for Tadashi. But his best friend had the tendency to be mean when he tried to be nice. 

“Tadashi” Kei said seriously, and Tadashi knew instantly that they were back to their earlier discussion “I know you’re more mature now and you know better, but I feel like I still need to warn you. Please don’t do something that you would regret later. He’s not worth it”

“I know,” Tadashi mumbled again, glaring back at his phone, mad at how easily Tsukki could see through him “I promise I won’t do something stupid.”

Little did he know that he was going to break that promise in less than a week.

Chapter Text

Tadashi wasn’t quite sure how he ended up in that situation, this time alcohol wasn’t the only thing to blame. It felt like it was just yesterday that he was scolding Yaku-san for doing something similar but here he was making out with his own boss (not to mention high school bully). 

Let me circle back to the start.

Despite how much bothered he looked from outside, he was actually pretty excited about the business trip (even though he would have to spend most of his time with Lev). He had always seen gaming leagues online, and had always wondered what it would feel like to be a part of one. The prospect of seeing everything unfold this close was thrilling, and getting to learn from the head of the department himself was an added bonus (although he was more concerned that the head would be less focused because of a certain silver blonde present). 

Lev had been equally excited(for an entirely opposite reason than his), he had fried Tadashi’s brain with all the “romantic gestures” he was planning on executing in the trip (and Tadashi was planning on ignoring all of them). On the day of the flight, Akaashi-san had offered to drop both Lev and Tadashi, which came as a big surprise. But later when both of them were settled in the back seat, the real reason exposed itself. 

“You two, behave yourself there. Don’t you dare embarrass our team.” Akashi-san looked up into the rear-view mirror, steel blue eyes piercing them “Especially you Lev, please don’t bother Mori-san” After a pause, as the car took a turn, Akaashi-san’s eyes turned to look at Tadashi “And Yamaguchi, don’t start fighting with Kuroo-san”

“I don’t fight with him,” Tadashi protested, fighting the blush that rose to his cheeks. “He just provokes me too much. It’s his fault”

Akaashi-san sighed at his protest, making Yamaguchi feel a little childish about arguing “He is like that, there is no use in telling him off. That’s why I’m talking to you. You’re more mature that him” (Tadashi may or may not have gleamed with pride at that statement) “Please try not to start a fight”

Lev hadn’t uttered a word throughout the ride to the airport, instead choosing to stare outside the window. Yamaguchi was sure he hadn’t paid attention to what Akaashi-san was saying, maybe their senior had noticed too because he raised his voice while talking “Lev! Did you hear what I said?”

“Huh?” Lev jerked his head up, looking clueless “Did you say something?”

Tadashi and Akaashi-san both sighed in defeat “Tadashi please keep him check” Akaashi-san said with painful groan “Mori-san is usually very patient but with him overworking I pretty sure he’ll lose his temper more quickly”  

“Oh yeah don’t worry Akaashi-san!” Lev perked up, leaning closer to the driver’s seat “I plan on taking good care of Yaku-san”

“You didn’t hear a single word I said did you?” This was the first time Akaashi-san looked crestfallen, Tadashi took pity on his senior and placed a reassuring arm on Akaashi-san’s shoulder “Don’t worry too much. I’ll make sure he doesn't bother Yaku-san”

“Thanks Tadashi”

Tadashi didn’t really understand why his senior was this worried, it was just a four day trip half of which would be spent in actual work. Little did he know that Akaashi-san’s worries were not futile. 

Little did he know that whatever Akaashi-san had warned them not to do, they both did exactly that (and some things that even Akaashi-san hadn't fathomed).

__

He doesn’t know how he ended up in this situation, the only indication for the upcoming inconveniences he was going to face was Kiyoko smiling suspiciously.

“Enjoy your trip” she said with a grin, making Yaku double take because it was rare to see Kiyoko smile. The mischievous glint in her eyes suggested that whatever he was going to face on this business trip would probably traumatize him for life.    

The first hurdle was the sitting arrangement on the plane. To be honest he didn’t really understand the need to take a half hour flight when a bullet train would’ve been more efficient, but it was the company's money so he didn’t really protest. He just asked Kiyoko to book everything.

Later he realized what a big mistake that had been when he ended up sitting right beside the one person he was planning on avoiding. He had deliberately arrived later than everyone, so he wouldn’t need to interact with anyone. His plan was to take a nap on the plane, which was another convenient reason not to talk to anyone. 

But when he got on the plane, greeting everyone from work with a swift nod, he was met with big emerald eyes and a big grin sitting right beside his seat.

“Yaku-san! Good Morning! Is this your seat?” It didn’t really sound like a question to him. It sounded like Lev already knew Yaku was supposed to sit beside him, raising his suspicion even more. He thought of calling Kiyoko and investigate whatever the fuck was happening, but before that he had to deal with the kid.

The seat behind his was filled with a grinning Kuroo, a blushing Tadashi and a clueless Narita. He wasn’t really proud of what he did next but if he had to sit beside Lev for the entire flight he was sure he would say (or worse, do) something that he wasn’t supposed to. “Kuroo switch with me”

“What? Why? I like it here” Kuroo said with a stubborn pout, even though he looked uncomfortably squished in the middle seat. 

“Just do as I say” He might’ve raised his voice a little, but in his defense he really didn't want to start his trip doing something he would definitely regret later (not a great excuse if you asked me). The rest of the people, including half of his colleagues, in the plane looked up at his outburst. From the corner of his eyes he could see an air hostess making her way towards him, he turned to face Kuroo, trying to convey his desperation through his eyes  before he created a bigger scene. 

“Yaku-san” Lev sounded a little hurt (hitting straight into Yaku’s guilty conscience), but Yaku avoided looking in the kid's direction. He knew if he did he would end up feeling sorry.

“Fine” Kuroo pouted a little more but stood up from his seat, knocking his head on the overhead bin. When he made his way towards the front, Yaku made sure to whisper “Thanks Tetsurou. I owe you one”  

“Don’t mention it” Even though Kuroo sounded unbothered, Yaku can tell he was pissed. When he sat down in between Narita and Yamaguchi he could finally sense the awkward tension he had created. The plane was filled with their employees, but even the few other passengers were giving him a look.  

He leaned back, cursing himself in his mind. He was sure this was just a glimpse of all the trouble that was waiting for him on this trip. 

“Why did you have to be so mean?” The question came from his right, in the same accusing tone Yamaguchi used to talk to him these days.

“Not now Tadashi” He closed his eyes, willing his body to fall asleep. “You can berate me all you want when we land” He was sure Narita was listening to their conversation but he was too fed up with life to care about people from work finding out.

“He was very excited, you know. He just wants to talk to you” Yamaguchi continued, ignoring his assertion. 

“Okay Yamaguchi” Yaku mumbled, eyes still closed. He liked the fact that Yamaguchi was comfortable enough to argue with him. Everyone else resorted to talking behind his back rather than his face. "I know I'm the bad guy here. I'm the worst."

"Yes you are" Yaku could feel the smile in Yamaguchi's voice "Now you have to buy me dinner"

"And why would I do that?" He raised his eyebrows in question, eyes still firm shut. He could feel the corner of his mouth turning upwards in amusement.

"As an apology" Yamaguchi replied firmly. 

"To you?" He glanced at Tadashi curiously. 

"Well I'm the one who has to listen to all his whines and rants" came the reply making Yaku smile even more.

"So this is why you were mean to me?” Yaku snorted  “That’s extremely selfish of you Yamaguchi Tadashi”

Yamaguchi laughed at his statement, and Yaku found himself thinking that the kid had a very beautiful laugh  “No! You don’t understand how annoying it can get!”

“Oh yeah how would I ever understand” dripping with sarcasm he said, rolling his eyes at Tadashi.

They both looked at each other, both trying to hold it in but they ended up laughing out loudly. Yaku liked Yamaguchi a lot. At first he was a little concerned that the kid wouldn't like Yaku, because no one in the department really did. He didn’t really like to socialize with anyone from work but he had half a mind to make efforts with Yamaguchi. 

“What are you two laughing about?” emerald eyes peeking from the seat in front of them. Yaku was suddenly overcome with guilt .It was never his intention to hurt Lev but sometimes the giant was a lot for him to handle. He found himself losing his control when he was Lev. 

Lev was extremely good looking, he couldn’t deny that. And the worst part of it was that the kid was exactly his type. If he had never met Kai he would’ve considered dating Lev. Yaku used to be carefree. If he made a list of his exes before Kai, he was pretty sure each one of them would’ve described him as wild and difficult to handle. There had been only one who could actually handle his personality, and he had made sure to tie that one down. 

There was no way he and Lev would be compatible, when his own husband gave up Yaku.

“Nothing” He had meant it to sound dismissive but it came out more rude and closed off than he intended and he regretted it the moment he saw Lev look like a kicked puppy. Yamaguchi frowned at him when Lev turned back, eyeing him in disappointment. 

“Fine I’ll get you dinner but not a single word about this” He leaned back, attempting to sleep.

“I promise” He could feel Yamaguchi grinning in victory but this time he made sure to conceal his own smile. 

__

He knew when he had seen Lev talk to Yachi that the giant had something planned, but instead of investigating it he had rejoiced because Lev had finally decided to leave him out of his ‘courting’. But back to his main point, he knew Lev had something planned for the trip.

He had thought the seats on the plane were the only thing Lev had altered (he was curious on how exactly Lev executed it) but when the receptionist of the hotel provided them with the list of rooms, he knew exactly what Lev’s game plan was.

“There has to be some mistake. I asked my assistant specifically to get me a separate room” Yamaguchi watched Yaku argue with the receptionist. Everyone else had taken their keys and left (probably trying to avoid the angry lashes of their boss).  

“I’m sorry sir but this is the list we were given” The receptionist smiled politely, but Tadashi could see a vein popping up on her forehead. He was interested to see which of the two would snap first.  

“Can you check once again?” Yaku slammed his fist at the reception desk, making the women flinch. 

“I can” she smiled stiffly and started typing into her computer system, Tadashi was pretty sure she was just pretending to look “I’m sorry sir this is what we have” She smiled at Yaku, the vein clearly visible now. Yaku groaned in irritation.

“Can I book a separate room right now?” Yaku took out his wallet as he asked.

“I’m sorry because of the tournament all the rooms are booked” The smile was gone, and Yamaguchi could hear the venom behind her voice. He was preparing himself to intervene before things got worse.

“Fuck-” Yaku let out some strings of curses, attracting attention of the guest lounging in the lobby.

“How did you do it?” Tadashi let his curiosity win and asked the giant standing beside him.

“I asked Yachi. Unlike you she’s a romantic and she said she’ll help me woo Yaku-san” Lev sniffed proudly, smiling dreamily at the back of Yaku-san’s head.

“Although she didn’t really book the rooms” Tadashi pointed, secretly impressed by the efforts Lev put into his elaborate plan.  

“Yeah, her girlfriend did.” Lev nodded in excitement, like he had been waiting for someone to ask “Did you know the only people Kiyoko-san listens to are Yachi and Yaku-san, and in that order. So I just got lucky.”

“But do you think this would work?” Yamaguchi asked in concern, don’t tell Lev but he did think that Lev and Yaku-san would make a cute couple. But seeing Yaku-san’s reluctance first hand he was worried about Lev getting hurt. 

“He’ll have to come to the room some time. I called ahead and all the hotels in this area are booked” Lev explained, his wide eyed excitement made him look like a madman  “I had no idea this event was such a big deal”

"Lev, did you not see what happened on the plane?" Yamaguchi felt the need to warn Lev, he was worried about his giant friend. Even though Lev looked tough, Tadashi had realized that Lev had a very innocent outlook on life, which would be crushed if Yaku-san continued to treat him so harshly  "He'll ask someone to switch with him. And then you'll be sad because he doesn't want to share a room with you. Why would you put yourself into this situation?"

"Yamaguchi" Lev grabbed Tadashi’s shoulders, panic evident on his face "Don't you dare switch with him"

"I'm not the only one he knows here. He's the boss, he can make anyone switch with him you know" he glanced at Yaku-san who was studying the list, probably wondering who to switch rooms with. Yamaguchi had yet to see the list himself, he had no idea who his roommate was..

"Yeah but the way you two were giggling in the plane. He sounded like he was close to you" Yamaguchi laughed at how visibly upset Lev looked with an obvious pout on his face.

"Oh Lev-" he wanted to pull the giant's leg a little bit but he was interrupted.

"Yamaguchi" Kuroo peeked from Lev's shoulder. It was a little comical whenever Kuroo stood beside Lev, because the rooster head always straightened up in a pathetic attempt to look taller “I got the keys let's leave before Yakkun makes me switch again"

"What?" Tadashi looked at his boss in confusion, then his eyes landed on Lev's smug expression.

"We're sharing a room" Kuroo explained quickly before grabbing Yamaguchi's wrist and dragging him towards the elevator "come on"

Tadashi managed to look back at Lev in accusation, while Kuroo still dragged him "What did you do?" he mouthed.

"Enjoy" Lev mouthed back, giving him a thumbs up as they both stepped in the lift.

Yamaguchi sighed, it had been a mistake telling Lev. Even though the giant was only trying to help, in his own stupid way. But after his talk with Kenma-san he had been nothing but confused. He didn’t really know how to act around Kuroo anymore. 

"Did you get the schedule?" Kuroo asked after he pressed the button, smooth jazz playing loudly in the elevator.

"No not yet. I don't know where to get one." Yamaguchi replied, staring at his own reflection on the elevator doors.

"It was in the mail"

"What mail?" he watched himself frown at the reflective surface. The Kuroo in the reflection fished out his phone from the pocket, when Tadashi realized that Kuroo was still holding his wrist with the other one. After touching the phone screen aggressively the bastard leaned in to show Yamaguchi the mail, filling Tadashi’s senses with the image of veiny forearms and intense smell of peaches. His heartbeat started racing then, when Kuroo leaned in further to explain the timesheet. The hand holding his wrist burning his skin and warming his cheeks. 

His cheeks were still warm when they got out of the lift, although Kuroo had let go off his wrist.

He didn’t have any reason to imagine sharing one bed but he found himself slightly disappointed when he saw the two separate beds inside the room. The room in itself embodied the word ‘fancy’, like the company wanted them to remember how big this event was.

"See" Yamaguchi realized a beat late that Kuroo was still talking about the schedule and he hadn’t heard a single word of it. Kuroo handed his phone to Tadashi so he could read the mail "I think I have yours and Lev's as well. I’ll forward the mail to both of you"

Yamaguchi was fighting a losing battle with his blush, while Kuroo continued to talk about work oblivious to Tadashi’s inner turmoil.

"You just have to follow Yaku-san most of the time. The main event is the day after tomorrow so on that day you both have to stay in the control room with me." Kuroo rolled his luggage from where it was placed in the corner by the concierge. 

"What exactly happens in the control room?" Tadashi copied Kuroo and rolled his own luggage beside one of the beds, unpacking all of his stuff.

"Nothing really, we're just there if something goes wrong. It's the finals so there would be a lot of people streaming live. And the possibility of servers breaking down gets high.” Kuroo explained as both of them started unpacking their stuff. Don’t get him wrong, it was his brain playing delusional games with him but that moment felt domestic to him.

“Is this what you have to do for the entire trip? Stay in a room waiting for something to go wrong?” Tadashi looked up to Kuroo nodding his head in answer “No offense but that’s a little sad” Yamaguchi teased as a smile settled on his face.

“Nothing compared to what you have to go through” Kuroo smirked back, which Yamaguchi found incredibly sexy, and then regretted finding it sexy seconds later “Trailing Yakkun like baby chicks all day. That’s the real tragedy”

“You know I actually like Yaku-san. I would probably enjoy it” Yamaguchi tipped his head, too proud to admit defeat. 

“With Lev there?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow, smiling like he had won the argument.

“Oh right I forgot about that” Yamaguchi winced at the thought “Maybe it won’t be that sad”

Kuroo didn’t respond again, and as the silence settled in their shared room Yamaguchi felt a need to keep talking. He liked talking to Kuroo when he was not being mean to him, and those moments were extremely rare to come by. If he didn’t make much of this situation now then who knows when he would have a nice (and heart skipping) conversation with Kuroo again.

“Maybe I’ll  sneak away when they both are not looking” he laughed jokingly, but when he looked at Kuroo’s serious face he cringed at the fact that he just admitted to skipping work in front of his own boss “Buzzinga!” he said a beat later hoping Kuroo would join his laugh.

But when he got no response he asked, tilting his head in surprise “What? Don't tell me you haven't watched the show?"

"I have” Kuroo said, tilting his head too mockingly “I just didn't take you as a big bang theory enthusiast"

"What's wrong with ‘big bang theory’? It's an extremely entertaining show!" Tadashi asked, with a touch of dramatism. Which earned him a judgy side eye and a shake of head "So you have a superior sitcom? Tell me?" Yamaguchi stood up in excitement, his whole body feeling the sudden adrenaline rush.

Kuroo hesitated for a bit which prompted Tadashi to ask again "What? Tell me! What show is apparently superior to a bunch of geeks?" Tadashi could see a blush run up to Kuroo’s ears and it gave Yamaguchi an inexplicable sense of victory.

"Grace and Frankie" Kuroo mumbled, turning to put his watch beside the bedside table. 

"Grace and Frankie? Seriously? Okay first of all I don't think it comes in the same category and you're comparing my physics geniuses to fifty year old divorced women?" Yamaguchi was having fun, his grin was a clear sign of it. A voice in the back of his head (which sounded exactly like Tsukki) was telling him that this conversation was bordering on flirting.

"One of them named her son Coyote!" Kuroo explained with a whine, a smile spreading on the  bastard’s face as he saw Tadashi grinning. Yamaguchi couldn’t stop his giggles at how cute Kuroo looked with a hint of pout on his face and cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

This trip was going to be a nightmare, he knew for sure.

__

“Can you just talk to me?” Unlike the other times, the voice was surprisingly gentle. Like it was scared that he would start yelling again (he most definitely would).

“No,” he replied. He had no other choice but to sleep in the only available room, because no one wanted to switch him (actually no one wanted to share rooms with him, the main reason he wanted a room for himself).

“Why not?” the voice was coming closer, he was too focused on fishing for his toiletries to warn Lev to stay away.

“Because I don't want to” he replied curtly, hoping that the bark in his voice was enough indication for Lev to stop whatever he was trying to do.

“I just want to talk” the voice sounded hurt, and Yaku felt bad for being mean. But he had no other option left. He did not want Lev to get hurt any further, so keeping him at arm's length was his only choice.

“I know,” Yaku sighed. Despite everyone around him making him the bad guy, he didn’t like playing that role. But there were no other roles he would fit into so despite feeling guilt and regret he kept on his tiresome walls up.

“It’s a stupid thing to say. That you don’t deserve love” Lev sat down beside him, making a dip in the bed.

“Lev” Anger flared up inside him and he turned to look at the kid “I was drunk. People say lots of stupid stuff in the influence of alcohol. Can you please drop it?”

He had seen people get hurt by his words multiple times, it didn’t surprise him anymore. But there was no hurt in Lev’s eyes, just disappointment. There was only one person who looked at him like that. And Yaku couldn’t stand to see the similarities between his ex-husband and Lev. So he pushed his stuff back into his suitcase and packed everything back up again.

"What are you doing?" Lev asked, catching up with the situation quickly. Yaku chose not to respond to any of Lev's questions then but his silence didn’t stop Lev from asking "Are you going to switch again?" Lev asked accusingly, as Yaku walked up to the door.

Lev caught up with him in two strides (how Yaku hated tall people) and blocked the door so Yaku couldn’t go out. "It's better this way, Lev. I don't know what you think all this-” he said, gesturing to the room behind him “would achieve. And I don’t know how you convinced Kiyoko to do this, but get one thing in your head Lev. I am not a good person and I don’t want to ruin your life. I’ve done that one too many times.” Watching Lev’s face get smaller and smaller after every word he uttered made him feel like crying. “So please, just drop it. Find someone better-”

“No” Lev interrupted him, eyes suddenly cold “I’m not giving up. No matter how hard you try to run away, I’m not giving up”

He had heard this before. He decided to leave before the memories fogged his mind and make a fool of him by making him cry. He was sure that Lev would thank him in the future, when he would realize what a monster Yaku actually was. 

—

“Oh Lev” Yamaguchi sighed as his call went to voicemail “He’s not even picking up my calls” he then said to his companion, sighing again in exhaustion.

“Maybe he needs some space right now, just try again after sometime,” Kuroo said as the lift door opened.

The hotel lobby was surprisingly quiet, mostly because half of its lodgers were in a company dinner. Yamaguchi and Kuroo had been there too, but when they didn’t find the final member of their team they both decided to search for him.

They both saw the figure at the same time, stopping in their tracks to get a better look. Slumped in the corner, hiding behind a fake plant with his luggage at  his feet. Yamaguchi marched up to the figure, determined to reprimand the root cause of Lev’s disappearance. 

“What did you do? Did you say something? He’s not opening his door, he’s not picking up my calls either. What did you say?” He admits that he may have gone a little overboard and harsh but he was worried about Lev.

Yaku looked up from where he was crouching, and his face gave away clear signs that he had been crying. Yamaguchi froze, uncertain about what to do next. He was angry because Yaku-san was hurting his friend but his tiny boss looked like he had been hurting too. Kuroo was beside Yaku in a flash, crouching down next to him, eyes full of worry.  

“Yakkun” Despite the worry on his face Kuroo’s voice sounded firm and commanding.

“I’m the bad guy. I know Tadashi.” Yaku ignored Kuroo entirely and addressed him, with an angry slur ”I’m the one who ends up hurting everyone. I’m the one. It’s always my fault” Yaku-san’s voice broke in the end, and Tadashi’s heart twisted in guilt “I’m not a good boss, I’m not a good friend, I’m not a good husband. I can’t do anything right can I? Why do I even try?”’

“That’s enough, stop talking like that” Kuroo stopped the self-deprecating monologue, he pulled Yaku-san’s elbow to keep him upright “Come on I’m taking you to your room”

Yaku-san’ eyes widened in panic, he shook his head furiously  “I can’t go back, Tetsu. I can’t face him,” Yaku laughed darkly “He made the same face Kai used to make.” Tears ran down Yaku-san’s cheeks but he continued to laugh, it scared Tadashi a little bit.

“Tadashi” Kuroo stood up, coming closer so the department head couldn’t hear “Can you share with Lev please? I’m sorry I’m making you do this but-”

“No no it’s fine. I was going to check up on him any way” Tadashi smiled reassuringly. He turned back towards the lift immediately, giving the rest of the two some privacy. 

—

2 Years ago

He knew something was wrong the moment he opened his apartment door. Shiro was sitting at the door, waiting for him. But instead of her normal welcoming mewl, she gave an anxious screech. Her tail was swishing furiously, a trait she only showed when she met someone new. He frowned in confusion but gave her a reassuring pat nevertheless.

"Is dad home yet?" He asked, gently patting the cat's head. The apartment was dark but he could see two pairs of shoes at the entrance, which confused him further. One he recognized as his husband's but the other one was a mystery.

Then he heard it. The moaning. His heart beat dropped for a second. He shook his head in denial, there was no way. Yet he still made his way towards the noise, in the direction of the master bedroom. As he got closer he could distinguish his husband's voice clearly. His husband's deep groans.

There was no way.

The door was ajar and through the narrow slit he could clearly see his disheveled bed. And its occupants.

There was no way.

No matter how much he tried to convince his heart, he couldn't deny what was in front of him. His husband balls deep in someone other than Yaku. Kai's back was to him, which he felt relieved about, he couldn't imagine what he could've done if he saw Kai's face then. But the other man saw him.

He took pleasure in how the guy froze in fear and shoved Kai in panic. But Yaku didn't wait for Kai to face him. "Oh no please don't stop on my accord, go on please. I’ll give you two some privacy" he doesn't really know where the courage came from, he was clearly not in the state to form sentences.

When he had made his way to the main door, he heard shuffling behind him. 

"Mori-wait Mori!" Kai called him, distress evident in his voice. Which finally triggered Yaku's anger. He turned to face his half naked husband.

"What? What can you possibly say in this situation" he didn't really care about how loud he was being. There was a sharp pain in his chest, which attempted to make its way up his throat.

"Mori I’m sorry I-" Kai reached out to take his hands. Yaku took a couple of steps back to get out of reach, knocking into his shoe rack.

"I what? Are you sorry you cheated? Didn’t sound like you were sorry" He could feel the pain in his leg where he crashed into the rack. It's funny when he thinks about it, how that time he could only feel the pain and nothing else.

"Mori I-"

"You’re so shameless. How can you even talk right now? What the fuck Kai?" He was screaming, he was aware of it, but he didn't know how to stop. He willed himself not to cry. He was not going to cry in front of Kai.

"Because you never listen!" Kai yelled back, trying to catch Yaku's hand once again.

Yaku laughed in disbelief, as he moved away from Kai "So this is my fault?"

"No- no no I mean. You’re never there, all you do is work. You’re always late-" With each word Yaku felt himself shake in anger.

"You’re seriously blaming me right now? Kai! YOU cheated! And you’re saying this is my fault? You could’ve just talked to me about it-" He could feel himself losing control of his anger. He had to get out before he did something terrible. Watching Kai's face morph into regret wasn't helping his restraints.

"I tried," Kai whispered, his head hanging in shame.

"Kai I swear to god-" he took some threatening steps towards his husband, finally seeing red. His eyes landed on the figure standing behind Kai, wrapped in bedsheets (Yaku was not a big fan of irony or he would've laughed at how those sheets were a wedding gift). He stopped himself then, could feel the sob rising in his throat. He was not going to cry in front of Kai.

He turned back around and walked out, shoes forgotten. The cat wailed in distress.

"Where are you going? Mori, stop running away," Kai called from behind.

"I’m not running away" he looked back in anger, his voice breaking as he spoke "I’m trying to stop myself. Because if I stand here one more second I might actually kill you" 

Yaku didn't have any friends. Because Kai had always been the charming one, the one with all the friends. He had worried a lot in college, about losing Kai to someone better but he had breathed a sigh of relief when Kai proposed. His life was nothing but irony at this point.

The only one Yaku could think of in his state of agony and hopelessness was Tetsuro. It was raining when he reached the apartment building, he scoffed at how dramatic everything was in his life.

When Kuroo opened his door, he took one look at the drenched Yaku and recognition coloured his face. Yaku whispered in surprise  “You knew”  

“I-” if Yaku wasn't sure before, the guilt on Kuroo's face gave it away. And Yaku found himself screaming the second time that night.

“You knew!”

“Yakkun-” Kuroo looked ashened, but Yaku had no remorse left in him to feel bad. The door to the adjacent apartment opened, someone peeked out curiously at the commotion.

“You didn’t even have the conscience to tell me?” Yaku snorted in disbelief, every drop of energy draining from his body. He wanted to find a quiet corner and cry his eyes out.

“I didn’t know how to-” Kuroo started again, after hesitating for a while.

“That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard” Yaku turned back to leave. Something dawned on him then. He had no place left to go. There was something depressing in that realization.

“Where are you going?” Kuroo came after him in a hurry, catching his arms to stop him.

“I don’t know. Somewhere far away from all of this.” he muttered weakly, he could feel his voice trembling. He had to hold it just a little more. 

“Yakkun” hearing the nickname again flared his anger again.

“Don’t you fucking dare Kuroo. You took his side! HIS SIDE! He was cheating on me Kuroo!” a couple tears escaped from his eyes, blurring his vision. He snatched his arms from Kuroo's clutches “How long? How long have you known?”

“Yakkun” 

“HOW LONG”

“Four months”

Yaku laughed. A loud, painful laugh. He couldn't stop himself. Laughed at the absurdity. He felt like a maniac, feeling his world crumble around him "So it was my fault then? Even you kept his secret"

“No-”

Yaku had enough then, no matter what explanation Kuroo would give him it wouldn’t be enough to cushion the blow that Kuroo picked Kai’s side. Mori had known he was not a very good friend, but he had never thought his own best friend would hide something so big from him. 

“Mori-” Kuroo made an attempt to stop him.

When he was back in his car, keys in place, that’s when the thought came back to him. He had nowhere else left to go. The only two people who he trusted had turned their back to him. He had nobody to call his own. 

In an empty parking lot, crying in his car, Yaku wanted to end his life. There was no more reason left to live. 

__

He woke up gasping for air and feeling immense pain in the back of his head. He propped himself up slowly, feeling the beginning of vomit rising up his throat. The first thing his dizzy brain noticed was the unconscious body sleeping on a chair right beside his bed.

Slowly, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he recognized the figure. Then the events of the night came back to him. Emerald green eyes looking at him in familiar disappointment, an angry Tadashi confronting him. 

He shifted again, groaning at his poor decision to drown in alcohol. On a business trip.

Kuroo mumbled something in sleep, his head hanging dangerously off the back of the chair. “Tetsu” His voice cracked “Sleep on the bed”

The rooster head hummed in sleep but did not move from his place. Yaku got up from the bed then, still feeling the vomit rise up, and tried to wrestle his oversized best friend onto the bed. After watching Kuroo sleep peacefully (a little stalker-ishly), he left the room, closely the room softly behind him. 

__

Yamaguchi was worried about Yaku. He had been more worried about Lev but the giant had an odd determined look on his face, which Tadashi was too scared to decipher. But seeing Yaku-san breakdown in front of him, Tadashi could clearly tell that Yaku-san was hurting. It was not just gossip when the office people talked about Yaku-san’s divorce, there had been some pretty bad damage that everyone could see. 

“Please don’t bother him Lev” Yamaguchi begged Lev one last time while they waited for the department head to arrive at the hall. He didn't have the guts to tell Lev about what he had witnessed at the lobby last night, more scared of what Lev would do than worried about Yaku-san's privacy “Please”

The hall they were waiting in was the place where the main event would take place. Even though they were told to arrive at 9 sharp, Tadashi's anxious brain had made himself drag Lev there at 8:30. Around them people were setting up cameras in odd corners, and organizing gaming systems into neat sections. The rush did nothing but agitate Tadashi even more. The other person who was going to be with them during the tour, Ai Nakashima, was an extremely shy girl (more than Tadashi himself) and had found an abandoned corner to stand while they waited for Yaku-san. 

Tadashi was expecting, given the state he had been in last night, Yaku-san to arrive late. But the department head was at the hall at 9 sharp. Lev perked up as the Head made his way towards the two of them, gesturing to Ai to join them (which she did after turning beet red). Tadashi stiffened as Yaku-san got closer, anticipating an outburst when Lev greeted him cheerfully “Good Morning Yaku-san!”

Yaku-san stared at Lev for a minute then gave a tired sigh and muttered an almost inaudible “Good Morning Lev” Making Lev smile wider in triumph. To Tadashi, Yaku looked exhausted, like he didn't even have a proper night's sleep, dark circles decorating his lifeless face.

“How are you?” Tadashi tried to ask but the department head was already talking over him.

“We don’t have much time, so listen to my instructions carefully.” Yaku-san massaged his forehead with one hand as he continued in a monotone "Your one job is to tail me. That's it. If you have any questions- "he paused there, then giving Lev a pointed look continued " regarding the event or work, you can ask me. I'll explain each thing in detail as we go around. The only time you're allowed to leave my presence is during lunch. You can take notes if you want. Go collect your event passes from your managers and meet me here in 15 minutes."

Yaku-san seemed normal to him, so he breathed a sigh of relief. But as the day went by Yamaguchi could tell there was something wrong. The entire day Lev asked random questions, even though they were 'work related' they were mostly absurd, but Yaku-san answered all of them without hesitation. Yamaguchi could feel that Yaku was building up an invisible wall, as if he was trying to keep Lev from coming closer.

Tadashi decided on not commenting on it, besides this was not his business anyway (he just happened to be close to the two people involved in it). By the time lunch rolled around he was raging to get some distance from the awkwardness that followed Lev and Yaku.

He had managed to escape the clutches of Lev (or the giant was not interested in him and had abandoned him in search of Yaku-san, who had vanished after declaring the break time), and was munching on his protein bar in the corner when he saw Kuroo. Unlike Yaku-san, the bastard looked well rested, making Tadashi suspicious that Kuroo had failed to look after his friend.

When Kuroo glanced at his half eaten chocolate bar he smirked and said tauntingly 

“This isn’t healthy for you”

Yamaguchi gave a mocking smile of his own. And made a show of glancing down at Kuroo's hand, in which he was holding an empty can of instant coffee “And that is?” He felt like giving himself a pat on his back when he saw the blush (Tadashi was not keeping score but if he was he was definitely winning at this). But when he saw Kuroo smile, a genuine happy smile, his heart might've fluttered a bit.

“It’s better than what you’re having,” Kuroo said in retort.

“Oh really?” okay he admits what he did next might've been(definitely was) a little unethical. But he stepped a little closer to the bastard, looking up taunting “How?”

Kuroo smiled again, pink painting his cheeks. And Yamaguchi wished he could lean in a little more, but his brain was not that corrupted (yet).

“How’s your day been?” Kuroo asked him softly, not doing anything to increase the distance between them (which might've made Tadashi smile a little wider).

“Weird. Yaku-san is being strangely normal. It’s scary” Tadashi explained honestly. He figured if anyone knew anything about Yaku-san it would probably be Kuroo.

Kuroo frowned at Tadashi's revelation “I didn’t get a chance to check up on him this morning. I woke and he was already gone”

“He looks fine” Tadashi said, but the paused to think “from the outside at least”

“Keep an eye on him” Kuroo smiled again (it's a good thing Tadashi wasn't keeping score, he was definitely losing) "for me"

When he got back to the hall, joining the rest of the group, he felt warm (the good kind that made me smile and want to keep smiling for the rest of the day, not the kind that made you sweaty and made you feel bad- he needs to stop).

__

After dinner he found Lev sitting alone in the bar on the rooftop, drinking coke (which made him roll his eyes) and smiling secretly.

"You look happy" he commented as he sat on the empty stool beside the giant.

"I am happy" Lev nodded proudly, he looked at Yamaguchi like he would explode if he didn't tell his happy news to someone.

"Should I know the reason?" Yamaguchi asked in hesitation. 

Lev looked cheeky "I'm not supposed to tell anyone" then in a fake stern voice, like he was imitating someone, added " Especially not you " after his 'explanation' he gave Tadashi a cheshire smile (which looked a little serial killer-ish than anything else).

"Alright" Yamaguchi decided that the best thing he could do was ignore Lev all together. When he caught the eye of the bartender he ordered a drink for himself. Surveying the bar curiously, he asked in nonchalance because he knew if Lev caught even a drop of interest in his voice he wouldn't hear the end of it "Have you seen Kuroo-san anywhere?"

Lev looked at him, raising an eyebrow in question "I haven't but why do you ask?"

He shrugged "I was just curious. I haven't seen him since lunch." (and they both were supposed to meet up because Kuroo had asked him to have dinner together).

"I'm sorry you had to switch, I was giving you two a great opportunity" Lev smiled apologetically. 

"So that was your doing? Lev it's nothing like that. Unlike you I'm not interested in my boss." Yamaguchi hoped the taunt would make his giant friend realize how weird Lev's situation with Yaku-san was from the outside (and also the fact that he wasn't particularly interested in Kuroo, but that wasn't really the main point).

"I know," Lev smiled, a secretive one this time. There might've been a blush somewhere near the giant's cheeks but Yamaguchi had seen a familiar face over Lev's shoulder and had ignored the giant all together.

"Oh there he is," he said involuntarily, making Lev turn to see Kuroo standing at the entrance of the bar. When Yamaguchi caught the bastard's eye he perked up in his seat and smiled. Expecting him to come towards them, he was reading to wave his hand in greeting. But Kuroo walked towards the opposite side of the bar.

The bar, despite its gorgeous interior, was empty except for Yamaguchi, Lev and a lone female in the corner nursing a drink. Yamaguchi frowned as he watched Kuroo walk over the female "Why is he going there?"

Yamaguchi watched as Kuroo tapped on the female's shoulder and leaned in to talk to her. Lev, he realized a minute later, was studying him instead of Kuroo but he was a little prideful to show that he was affected by any of it. Kuroo sat (a little too close in Tadashi's opinion) beside her, ordering a drink of his own. He found himself frowning deeper, "Is that someone from work?"

"I've never seen her. She wasn't with us in the plane" Lev said, but he was still looking at Yamaguchi. It ticked him off, even though it wasn't really true, he felt like Lev was making fun of him. He ordered one more drink in anger and downed it in one gulp.

"Oye Yamaguchi, you told me you're a lightweight." 

Yamaguchi watched as Kuroo and the female talked, smiling at each other. He didn't like how both of them looked so cozy together, he could feel something bitter in his mouth (probably the alcohol) when he saw both of them. He ordered one more drink. When Lev looked at him like he was crazy he explained with a wave of dismissal "I just feel like drinking"

"We have work tomorrow, Yamaguchi. Control" Lev warned him but he was too busy staring at his boss flirting with a stranger. 

He had dressed up and had got excited over nothing. Kuroo had messaged him that they both should get dinner after work. He had found himself looking forward to it, smiling even at the thought of it.

Kuroo, as if feeling eyes on him, looked over at Yamaguchi and, when he found him already looking, smirked (the jeering kind Tadashi hated). Yamaguchi felt like puking then.

He finished his drink and slammed the glass on the counter (then looking at it subtly to check if he broke the glass or not) "I'm leaving, can you pay my bill please? I'll pay you back in the room." He didn't wait for Lev to respond (who did shout a "Wait Yamaguchi") and walked out as fast as he could. Away from the man that kept making his life miserable.

__

He was angry. Aggressively angry. He had always been someone who had extremely poor decision making skills, Tsukki always said that he had a childish nature to his personality (he had taken it as a compliment not knowing that Tsukki meant it as a flaw). He had always been very gullible, if not delusional. He should have listened to Kei, he was the only one who actually knew what was good for Tadashi, he should’ve known.

He should’ve known, a little attention would always fog his senses. He should’ve been more careful, the moment he saw Kuroo in that office he should've been on guard. But he was a fool (he had always been a fool), to let his heart take the reins of logic.

But it didn't really justify why he was standing in front of the room, fuming, waiting for its owner to finally arrive. The occupants of the adjacent room had given him a look when they walked past him but he was determined to stand his ground.

When Kuroo finally arrived, whatever boldness he had dissolved in a puddle under his feet. And thanks to the alcohol in bloodstream, his outspoken mouth had no barriers.

"Oh you're alone" he said loudly, almost screaming. "I thought you were gonna bring her up here"

"What?" Kuroo looked surprised at finding Yamaguchi at his floor, when he came closer and got a better look, asked in confusion "Have you been drinking? You're at work Tada-"

"And so are you!" He pointed out, wobbling a little when he walked closer to the bastard, digging his index finger into Kuroo's chest "You don't have time to check on your employees but you have time to flirt with strangers? Classic"

"Yamaguchi have you lost it?" Kuroo grabbed the hand furiously "You're creating a scene"

Tadashi snorted, even though deep down he was scared because it had finally dawned how stupid his actions were. "I should've listened to Tsukki, you have not changed at all. What was I even thinking? Giving you another chance" Kuroo's grip on his wrist lossend, allowing Tadashi to break free.

"Yamaguchi?" Kuroo sounded confused. He should've stopped there, he had already done a lot of damage. But he kept going.

"You said you weren't straight" he walked closer, trying to seem intimidating. But despite the courage, their proximity was making him uncomfortable "Then what were you doing? Flirting with a woman?"

"I wasn't flirting she's the-"

"STOP MAKING EXCUSES" he knew. He knew was making a fool of himself. Logically he had no right to be this angry. Kuroo didn't owe him anything. He knew he should've gone back to bed. He knew he shouldn't have yelled. He knew "You said you were going to take me out for dinner. You forgot, didn't you? Ugh I'm so stupid" he slapped his palm on his forehead, the sound echoing in the hallway "all I do is get my hopes high every time. I'm so fucking stupid" he swinged his hand up again to smack his forehead one more time but Kuroo grabbed his wrist.

"Are you seriously jealous right now, freckles?" It made him sick how Kuroo had the audacity to smirk mockingly. He snatched his hand back. He had gotten a little more sober, his brain pushing back the fog a little bit. But he was still fuming with anger. The only option, that didn't have any consequence attached to it, was walking away. So he walked away, leaving behind a confused Kuroo calling his name.

Tadashi had a friend in college, who had been in an abusive relationship for 2 years. She knew everything about that relationship was wrong but she still forgave the guy every time, even if the guy didn't seem sorry about his actions. Tadashi had asked her, genuinely surprised as to why anyone would tolerate that kind of behavior, why she was still in the relationship. She had smiled, a teary and exhausted smile, and said "Maybe because it was my first love? People do weird things when they're in love" Tadashi had been confused then. Although he didn't say it out loud, he had thought that maybe it was just her. Because he would never do something so stupid in the name of love.

Maybe he had been wrong.

He had already crossed the line once. He could go a little further. Those were his only two thoughts when he knocked on the door impatiently.

When Kuroo opened the door, Tadashi closed the gap before his brain could over analyze the situation. Shuddering when his lips pressed against  Kuroo's, he forced his eyes shut (mostly because he was afraid of the reaction he would see). He felt the bastard freeze.

Tadashi wrapped his arms around Kuroo(too stubborn to give up this early), their bodies flushed together. He felt a hand snake up to the back of his neck, titling his head as Kuroo’s lips pressed against his harder. Tadashi allowed himself to suck on Kuroo’s bottom lip, licking the seam of his mouth.

What he was not expecting was the way Kuroo grabbed him, one hand gripping his neck and the other one pulling him closer by his waist. He gasped, mouth parting as Kuroo's tongue slid against his own, a hot flush rushing through him. Tadashi whined into the kiss, feeling something hard pressed against his stomach. His mind was hazy as if Kuroo had drawn his breath out of his lungs.

His whines riled up Kuroo, kissing him hungrily, tongue licking into Tadashi's mouth. Fingers cupping his neck, pulling him even closer in desperation. Tadashi couldn't breathe, but he didn't want to pull away, scared of the consequences. His hands fisted into Kuroo's shirt, moaning when Kuroo sucked his bottom lip. A shiver ran down his spine as Kuroo rutted against him, whimpering as Kuroo bit into the flesh and soothing it with his tongue.

When Tadashi moaned again, Kuroo slipped his tongue back into his mouth, nose digging into Tadashi's cheeks.

Hands on his shoulder pushed him back with force "Tadashi what the fuck are we doing?" Kuroo asked, panting a little.

"What?" 

"This is not appropriate" 

Yamaguchi laughed at the statement "You say that after you rubbed your dick all over me?"

Kuroo cringed "I know it's my fault as well. But we shouldn't be doing this." He took a couple of steps back, putting distance between the two of them "you're drunk. Come on, I'll get you a bottle of water-"

"Stop acting nice" Tadashi whispered, his feelings wavering "this is all because you're acting so nice. This is all your fault."

"You told me to treat you better. What else do you want me to do?" Kuroo asked. Tadashi could distinguish the frustration in the bastard's voice.

"I don't know," he mumbled. He didn't have the energy to stand in the room anymore. He couldn't face the rejection that Kuroo was going to throw on his face. And the third time that night he walked away, this time Kuroo didn’t try to stop him.

Lev looked up from his bed when he came into their room "You left early I thought you would be here- why are you crying? What happened?"

"I did something stupid" sobbing he sank down on the floor.

Chapter Text

By the semi finals, Tsukki had gotten suspicious. Usually the blonde would give him some space whenever he was down, and Tadashi for his part would be back to normal in a day (or in a couple of hours).

But it had been almost a month now, and Kei's patience was running out. Every morning Tadashi would wish him a gloomy good morning and would stay silent for the rest of the journey to school. In the beginning Kei had labeled it as performance anxiety because the tournament had started. 

During matches Tadashi was fine, great even. But as soon as the matches ended, his freckled friend would return into his dejected state. 

His next guess was studies. But he crossed it out as soon as he thought of it. Tadashi was better than him in studies, his only weakness being English (although he was still above average). And he was showing no signs of having any trouble during classes.

For a week Kei resorted to observing his best friend, trying to find the root cause of his depressed state. The only time Yamaguchi smiled (other than when he was with Kei, although some of them were forced nowadays) was when Kenma-san talked to him. Even then Tadashi seemed a little less enthusiastic than his usual self.

Tsukishima was someone who did not like to talk about feelings (even the thought made him shudder) so it was more difficult for him to ask Tadashi what was wrong.

He had almost given up, the only option left was to question Yamaguchi directly (which wouldn't necessarily give him the desired answers), when he noticed it. How Tadashi would hunch his back even further when Kuroo addressed him. How Tadashi desperately tried to stay as far as possible to their captain. How, he looked like he would start crying every time Kuroo said something to Tadashi.

Now that Kei knew what (or who) was distressing his best friend, the next obstacle was to talk to him about it. Kuroo could easily get under people's skin, that was one of his specialties. But Tsukishima was sure the rooster head wasn't deliberately mean to anyone. Kei also knew Tadashi's habit of overthinking, hence Kei’s conclusion to the problem was that Tadashi had probably let the mean snides of Kuroo get to his head.

It was already very difficult for Kei to bring up any touchy topic (because of his allergic reaction to feelings) but now that they were playing in the finals he never got an opportunity to talk to Tadashi alone. By the time practice was done they would be too exhausted to even breath.

Tadashi had always been there for him. His best friend knew exactly what to do to cheer Kei up. In that regard he considered himself a failure of a best friend. He didn't even know how to talk to Yamaguchi, let alone know how to cheer him up.

He was waiting for his best friend to address the situation himself. You could say it was him 'giving Tadashi some space' but he knew he was just being a coward (which was worse than being lame). 

__

He had always heard of injuries that could cause someone to lose their future. But it wasn’t something that concerned him. Oikawa-senpai also had a very bad knee injury but despite the pain his senpai used to play just fine, even better than half of them. So in his head serious injuries didn’t really worry him. Besides he had never really planned on playing volleyball professionally, he was not really good at it to begin with.

He was not attached to volleyball. 

But when he injured his knee, he knew he had to bide goodbye to the sport. He wasn't attached to it but he had cried himself to sleep every night after the accident. And when his mother came to check up, he would blame it on the pain he felt in his knees.

The 'accident' happened in his first year. Which meant he had to sit out the entire second year and by the time his knees had healed he was too out of practice to play in his third.

It was the semi-final, and everyone in their team (including their coach) was radiating nervous energy. During their warm up everyone was quiet, either concentrating (mostly their setter trio) or trying not to vomit (this was just Hinata). He glanced at his best friend sitting beside him on the bench, Kei’s back rigid as he stared at the court in daze. Tadashi smiled to himself, in the morning he had asked Kei if he was nervous about the game and Kei had snorted and said, pushing his glasses up his nose “It’s just a stupid game Yamaguchi”. But Tadashi knew his best friend was lying.

He was nervous too, although his part in the game won’t come until the end of a set. It was their classic strategy, even their opponents had taken notice of it. But with their opponents on guard, throwing Tadashi in to gain points was still a successful game plan.

“Okay boys huddle up” 

It was his favorite part of a match, among other things. When they huddled together, shoulders pressed uncomfortably in one giant bubble of warmth with their faces red with determination. For this particular huddle he found himself squashed between Oikawa-senpai (who’s hands immediately went to rest on Tadashi’s waist) and their team captain. 

He had moved on, if you were ever wondering about it, from his stupid and delusional crush. It had been over a month since he had found Kuroo in the club room. And since then he had made sure not to be around Kuroo, alone.  

He could feel the heat seeping through Kuroo’s uniform to his. It was odd how warm the Captain was, as compared to everyone else. Maybe it was a false alarm raised by his racing heart but Kuroo felt warmer than normal, concerningly warm. Like he was running a fever. 

By the time his hazed mind reached the conclusion that their captain might be sick, the huddle had dispersed. He caught the sight of Kuroo’s blotchy face as they all lined up at the edge of the court. Their captain didn’t look sick in any way but his concern had already set camp on his mind and was planning on staying for long. 

For the first set, Kuroo played like he normally would (blocking most of the attacks and provoking the other team with his snide comments). But when Tadashi was subbed in did he finally get a chance to observe the rooster head carefully. He was panting more often, even though they were still in their first set. And after each point he would crouch down, trying to catch his breath rather than giving out advice like he normally did. 

“Nice serve Tadashi” Kuroo had come to him after he won a point, tossing the ball to him. And he had taken the opportunity to voice his concern.

“You’re sick” he whispered, not knowing why he was being discreet when it clearly should’ve been acknowledged by everyone.

“I’m fine. Just worry about your serve freckles” Kuroo snapped. Yamaguchi would’ve considered it normal behavior but unlike the other times, Kuroo wasn’t smirking at him. He was trying to catch his breath.

“You shouldn’t play in this condition” he ignored the look of concern his teammates were throwing at him when he didn’t go back to his position to serve the ball.

“I can play better than you can even in this condition” Kuroo said at the same time the referee whistled at him in warning. Their coach yelled at Yamaguchi to focus. And he reluctantly went to his position. They lost the point and Yamaguchi had to go back to the stands and when he tried to catch Kuroo’s eyes one last time he was promptly ignored.

“What was that?” Kenma-san asked when he got back.

“Do you know he’s sick?” Tadashi asked instead of answering, eyes glued on the back of Kuroo’s head.

“Yes,” Kenma whispered. He turned to look at his short senpai in disbelief “Why didn’t you say anything? He shouldn’t play in this condition”

Kenma, to his annoyance, simply shrugged and continued to observe the game. Tadashi waited for any explanation that might come his way but Kenma gave no signs of explaining his actions. He huffed, deciding to make the secret known to their coach before matters got worse.

But he didn’t need to. Because when the set was over (they lost), everyone including Manabu-sensei had noticed Kuroo’s lethargic stance. “Kuroo!” he shouted as the rest of the group dragged their feet out of the court. “What is wrong with you today”

“He seems sick,” Oikawa-san observed, smiling cheekily when Kuroo glared at him. “He seems red, don’t you think Kou-chan?” He asked his silver-headed best friend, who had placed a concerning hand over Kuroo’s sweaty forehead. “You’re burning up!” Suga-san exclaimed.

“It’s fine” Kuroo pushed Suga-san’s hand off. It was evident that even an easy task as talking was drawing Kuroo’s energy. 

“You’ll sit out for the rest of the match” Naoi-sensei said firmly and when Kuroo opened his mouth to protest he raised his voice “That’s not up for debate. Go sit down somewhere in the corner. And someone get him some ice”

“I’ll get it” Everyone, including their coach, looked at Yamaguchi when he volunteered. But he was already running towards the nurses station. Besides he knew if he waited long his judgy best friend would raise his eyebrows and frown at his decisions, shaking his blonde head in disappointment. 

He doesn’t really blame anyone for the accident but deep down he knows it was his own fault. He shouldn’t have offered in the first place. Back then he had thought that maybe doing something good for Kuroo would prompt the rooster head to act a little bit nice to him. Even after years of contemplation he didn’t really have an answer on why he craved Kuroo’s validation so much. 

The accident itself was a simple affair. He had run to the first floor to get the ice and while running back down he collided with someone and fell down the rest of the stairs. Injuring his knee pretty badly. The pain felt like thousands of needles piercing his flesh right to the bone. When he tried to get back up his other knee buckled under the weight of his entire body and his injured knee came crashing down to the marble floor. He cried out in pain as tears filled his eyes, his focus however shifted to the ice bag that slid across the hallway. 

He doesn’t really remember how but he managed to crawl up to the cloth, leaving a wet patch on the floor where the ice had melted a bit. He had limped back to the court, everyone on his way giving him concerned looks. 

“Here!” He declared brightly, blinking away the tears of pain. Everyone else was a little busy discussing game strategy to notice the limp in his strides, which he was grateful for. Kuroo was sulking at the bench, like a toddler. He made his way towards him, with a beaming smile, offering the ice pack.

“I don’t need it” Kuroo didn’t even spare him a glance and continued to pout. But Yamaguchi waved the ice pack in front of Kuroo’s face like a peace offering. “I said I don’t need it!” Kuroo smacked the ice pack away and it slipped out of his hand, landing on the floor with a wet splat. The rest of the team quietened.

“Kuroo don’t be rude” Suga-san scolded him, coming up behind Yamaguchi “He went all the way to get you this”

“Oh he only did it because that way he would at least be involved in something. Unlike the matches” Kuroo said acidly. There were a lot of exclamations behind him but Tadashi had decided to stare at the ice pack beside his feet. He knew if he were to pick it up, the pain in his knees would flare up. He didn’t want to trouble anyone. They already had one of their important players sick, and even though Kuroo was right about his involvement in the games, he didn’t want to add more casualties.

Suga-san, after glaring at Kuroo for a minute, picked up the ice pack and placed it beside the sulking boy. “Come on, Tadashi. Let him be” 

By the second set his pain had subdued a little, believing that the pain would disappear completely by the time his turn to play in the court came along. But he had never been so wrong. 

On his first serve he knew the pain wasn’t gone, in fact he could feel that the injury wasn’t a minor one. He however managed to get the ball to fall perfectly over the net on the opponent's side of the court, earning his team a point. But rather being happy he had winced in pain, which everyone on the court had clearly witnessed.

“Yama-chan” Oikawa-san said seriously, which was unlike himself “Are you okay?”

“Yes I’m f-” his dismissal was cut off when Tsukki asked him again. “Are you okay? Don’t lie this time”

“I just-” why was it so hard to lie to Tsukki? He had never managed to find an answer to that “I fell while I was getting ice. My knee is hurting-” when he saw the rest of the team’s shock he hurried to reassure “but I’ll be fine. It’s not bad really”

The team believed him, mostly because the referee had whistled a warning for the delay in the next serve. But when he made his jump the second time, it was extremely short because of the pain. The ball slammed into the net and ricocheted back to their own side of the court. When the point to the other team was declared his team didn’t offer him condolence, rather commanded him to take a rest. 

Naoi-sensei gave him an angry glare and made him sit beside him for the rest of the match (which they eventually lost). When Suga-san took him to the nurse's station after the match, the pain had increased tenfold and it was a struggle for him to even walk. 

The doctor had frowned at him and had declared that they might need to visit the hospital to get his knee scanned for he believed Yamaguchi had fractured his knee pretty badly.

He was not attached to volleyball but hearing those words broke his heart (for the second time that year).

___

He was allowed to sit in the corner with his braces while everyone else practiced. Some of the members had asked him if sitting in the corner made him sad because he couldn’t join in. But on the contrary, he enjoyed watching everyone play. He would sit alone, with a smile on his face, while the rest of the club bickered about who would get to play for that round. He liked watching everyone playing in the court as their face molded into frowns of concentration as the whistle was blown. Watching everyone play made him less lonely (also he loved using his knees as an excuse to get anything he wanted from his teammates).    

He didn’t really need to climb up the stairs to the club room, mostly because  he never changed into his uniform to begin with and partly because climbing the stairs with his braces was a painful task. But he couldn’t deny, the happy yet tired chatter in the club room was his favorite part of the day. He could handle some few hours of pain (and a sleepless night) for it.

That particular day, his knee had been hurting a lot. Halfway up the stairs Tsukki had told him to quit for the day and to go home and rest. But Suga-chan was treating everyone with meat buns and he didn’t want to miss it, he argued back. Kei had rolled his eyes and grabbed him from his good side, hands holding Yamaguchi’s waist securely, and helped him climb up. Yamaguchi hid his smile as they both stumbled up as a single unit.

When they reached the club room, ten minutes later, half of the team had already changed. They both got some mocking looks, mostly directed towards Kei (Yamaguchi knew how everyone teased his best friend for being a tsundere behind his back). Yamaguchi was busy concentrating on walking and had failed to notice the hazel eyes that opened the door for them, darken.  

“Your laces are open” Tsukki pointed out as Yamaguchi sat down (with a lot of wincing) on the bench. 

“I can’t bend down,” Yamaguchi said, making his voice sound a bit child-like (his go-to method to get anyone to do anything for him) “Can you tie it for me please?” He looked at his best friend, eyes crinkling.  

Tsukki sighed and shook his head. But crouched down to tie Yamaguchi’s shoes, making the latter grin in triumph. Oikawa-san, who had witnessed the entire scene, cooed mockingly. “That is so sweet of you Tsukki-chan” their senpai’s voice sickeningly sweet.

"Isn't that a little gay?" There was no curiosity in the question, just plain malice. And when Tadashi looked up, there were definitely some in the hazel eyes too. Yamaguchi couldn’t understand why. Why did the question feel so hateful? So personal?

"What's wrong with that?" Tsukki asked, nerve twitching on his forehead as he continued to fasten Yamaguchi’s shoes. 

"Come on Tsukki.” Kuroo smiled mockingly at Yamaguchi, even though it was the blonde who he addressed   “It's just creepy how you two are so close. Like you go on your little dates and tie each other’s shoe laces. "

"Again" Kei clenched his jaw as he stood up, staring right at Kuroo’s face in challenge "What is wrong in that?"

"Oh! oh nothing" Kuroo waved his hands, eyes wide in mock  "it's just that from now on I'll have you two change in a different locker room. Can't have molestation cases-"

"Kuroo!" Surprisingly it wasn’t Suga-san, who usually reprimands the rooster head, but Oikawa-san who yelled the captain’s name. It was the first time he had seen Oikawa-san so angry, who would always be smiling even when they lost. The rest of the team had stopped their activity, looking at their captain in worry. Hinata was looking at Yamaguchi, gauging his reaction.

Yamaguchi had his jaw clenched, mirroring Tsukki’s. Each word that came out of Kuroo’s mouth had managed to carve small pieces out of Tadashi’s heart. Back then he hadn’t come to terms with the fact that he was gay. But Tsukki and he had a conversation about the blonde not being straight. It had hurt more because of it, because this time Kuroo hadn’t insulted him, but dragged his best friend into this. He knew, he was sure of it, that Yamaguchi himself was the reason they were getting the slander. But why? That, he never understood.

"Hey I'm being supportive! I mean if I was homophobic I would've thrown you two out instantly but I'm being supportive."  Kuroo grinned, eyeing Yamaguchi. It made him sick, bile slowly rising up his throat. Tears started filling his eyes at the humiliation he felt "I'm just saying we won't feel comfortable changing here now that we know there would be perverts here-"

"Stop that!" Oikawa-san’s voice rang loud in the club room, jolting everyone. “Stop that right now”

"Tetsuro" Kenma had whispered in between Oikawa-san’s yelling, getting up from his designated corner and walking up to stand in front of Kei and Tadashi. Blocking both of them from Kuroo "That's more than enough. You've crossed the line"

Yamaguchi had felt another wave of humiliation hit him. He got up, struggling due to his braces. By the time he made it out of the club room, with Kei closely behind him (helping him walk), he was sure everyone else had witnessed the tears falling down from his eyes.

___

Present 

When he came to his senses he realized how stupid his actions had been. How utterly pathetic his actions were. He had been warned, not once but thrice. Even Akaashi-san, who he knew the least, had figured out that he was capable of doing something stupid and had felt the need to warn him.  

 Yet he still did it.

They both were supposed to forget it. The bastard acted like it, like nothing ever happened. Acted like Yamaguchi didn’t even exist. On the day of the tournament they were supposed to stay with Kuroo in the control room. He had been dreading it, he didn't want to face the bastard. Didn’t want to remember the icy slap of rejection and humiliation again. 

Somehow Lev had convinced Yaku-san to let Yamaguchi stay with him during the tournament (he doesn’t know exactly but he was now sure that Lev had some kind of superpower to persuade people). And the head of the department agreed, after a lot of grumbling and groaning. Yaku could tell something was wrong but he didn’t ask Yamaguchi (maybe because the bastard had already told the head).

It was a little difficult for him to pretend.

The shame wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t look anyone in the eye, especially the department head. Whatever the bastard had told Yaku-san  had been enough for him to stay silent and not talk to Yamaguchi the entire time he was with him.

Tadashi wanted to cry. Quit his job and sob his madness out. But a voice that sounded exactly like Tsukki in his head reminded him that he was an adult now and he had to face and accept the consequences of his actions, no matter how much they hurt him.

And so to prove the disapproving Tsukki voice in his head that he was in fact an adult, he put on a poker face and stayed by Yaku-san for the entire day. That's why it came as a surprise when after the end of the tournament Yaku-san asked him out for drinks. They both were finishing up some paperwork (or just Yaku-san was, he was just stapling the sheets together) after the prizes were handed out. After the surprisingly loud day, the empty hall and the rustle of paper were a bliss to his abused ears.

"Don't I owe you a meal?" Yaku-san asked when Yamaguchi didn't answer (he was too shocked by the proposal). "I know a good place" 

Even though Yaku-san had asked him gently, he was sure it wasn’t really his choice. Whatever Yaku-san was planning on saying was probably going to be really harsh. 

"I don't know what happened between Kuroo- '' Yaku-san, after watching Tadashi hesitate for a minute, said in a quiet voice.

"You don't know?" He found himself asking, half in shock and the other half in relief. 

"No. I just know something happened. Lev told me not to ask" Yaku-san had avoided looking directly at Yamaguchi for the entire day (one of the reasons why Tadashi reached to the conclusion that Yaku-san was silently judging him on his stupidity).

"Lev told you?" Yamaguchi asked in confusion, frowning at his busy hands "You're talking to Lev? I thought you've been avoiding him" When he peaked at the department for a reaction he found the man blushing. Ears a shocking shade of red and lips pressed into a line. Yamaguchi raised his eyebrows at the response. 

"Well it's not like I can completely ignore him. I would have to talk to him sometime" Yamaguchi would’ve probably considered the answer and stopped at that but the way Yaku-san stuttered and curled his shoulders in, made him think otherwise.

"You sound like him," Tadashi pointed out, as he stapled the last of the documents. 

The images of Lev smiling secretly at the bar last night came back to his mind. Even Yaku-san was acting weirdly normally. There was definitely something going on between those two. But Tadashi was going to give Lev and Yaku-san like the two were doing for him.                   . 

"Anyway, back to the topic. I don't know what exactly happened but if you want me to talk to Kuroo. I can do that for you." Yaku finally looked at him, eyes grim and shoulders taunt, the signs of awkwardness clearly visible.

"No no that would make things more awkward" He was yet to have a talk with Kuroo (something he knew was inevitable but still wanted to delay as much as possible). He knew with the way the bastard was acting, that whatever had happened was never to be mentioned again. But somewhere in the back of his head, a thought kept popping up (which surprisingly didn't sound like Tsukki) that he needed to apologize for what he did. 

"Do you want me to change your team?" Yaku asked as he collected all the documents and organized them in neat piles.

If he ignored Kuroo (which he did ninety percent of the time) the rest of his teammates were incredible. He had grown fond of them, especially Lev ( surprisingly Lev) . And he once had accidentally heard someone else from a different team say how lucky Tadashi was to work under Akaashi (because after Yaku-san, he was the one with the most skills in the department) "No" he answered quietly. If he was being honest, he even liked working for Kuroo(when he was not being mean) "I'll manage"

"Alright" Yaku nodded, not looking convinced "Just let me know if you need any help. I'll try my best to make things better"

Yamaguchi smiled "Sometimes I don't get why they call you demon"

"Who are 'they'. Give me the names" For a minute Yaku sounded so threatening that he had to look up and check for himself if the head was serious (he wasn't, he was smiling).

He hadn't been lying when he said he would manage. He liked his work. But at the same time he was dreading going back. He didn't know how he would face Kuroo again (and they finally had started to be normal around each other). It's his own fault. His own stupid decisions and his own stupid heart. 

He felt sick.

Chapter Text

He was sick. Not the mental kind that makes you nauseous and drains all your energy but the physical kind. The one with a high fever, runny nose and lots of groaning. He could deal with the first kind (mostly because he was used to feeling like that everyday) but the second one was his worst nightmare, especially now that his mother wasn’t around to take care of him..

On a brighter side, he was dazed the entire journey back to Tokyo. Even the memories were a little foggy and the only thing he remembered was Lev hovering around him like a protective puppy.

He knew, logically, he should've taken rest at home. And if he went to work he was risking his colleagues getting sick too. And not to mention traveling from his apartment to his office was going to drain his already lethargic body. But Yamaguchi was never someone who followed logical actions (as you and I both know very well).

His headache had increased from a light tapping on the back of his skull to a full forced hammering. His eyes were burning and his nose was stuffy. And the worst of all, he had started to sneeze every two minutes.

By the time he reached his desk he had realized what a big mistake coming to the office had been. He was not sure if he would've survived the entire day in his state.

"Good Morning" he muttered, his throat felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper on its walls. 

"What's wrong with you?" Mai-san asked turning Yamaguchi’s seat to face her (which made him even more nauseous) "You don't look good"

"I think I might be sick" Tadashi croaked, wiping his nose once again. He could feel mucus at the back of his throat, which stubbornly stayed in its place even after his many attempts to swallow it down.

"You think?" Futakuchi-san raised his eyebrows in amusement at the same time Akaashi-san said "Why did you come to office in this condition?"

"Did you guys party too much at the tournament?" Mai-san asked before Yamaguchi could answer. "Kuroo-chan is looking like hell too"

The mention of the name made his head spin. He sniffed into his grossly wet napkin as he answered “There was no party. Everyone was exhausted.” He wanted to elaborate. Wanted to tell how by the time the tournament was over every single one of them was ready to crash down on a flat surface and doze off. 

“Then what made you like this?” Akaashi-san asked, peering at him through his glasses. The way he narrowed his eyes at Tadashi made him feel like his senpai had somehow managed to figure out the events that took place on the business trip.

Tadashi tried to think of a diversion, so Akaashi-san wouldn’t think to interrogate him, but a diversion had already presented itself without his help. Lev, with his cheerful and painfully loud voice, wished them a good morning as he settled into his desk. 

“How are you doing Tadashi?” Lev asked. Tadashi, grateful for Lev’s concern, smiled in answer as he felt a sneeze make its way towards his nose rapidly.

“Did something happen?” Mai-san asked Lev “everyone looks like they had a bad time”

“I didn’t” Lev beamed at Nametsu-san, emerald eyes shimmering strangely “I had a blast”

“What did you do? You did something, didn't you?” Akaashi-san accused, he looked at Tadashi and asked furiously “I told you to keep an eye on him. What did he do?”

Tadashi smiled into his wet napkin as he said “He somehow managed to share a room with Yaku-san” 

“You traitor” Lev whispered “I helped you and this is how you repaid me?” Tadashi knew his silver haired friend was only joking but he couldn’t help but frown as his own outburst flashed in front of his eyes. He had embarrassed himself pretty badly. But despite his heart’s reluctance he knew he had to apologize for what he did, before things got more awkward. 

“But he didn’t cause much trouble” Tadashi continued after a beat of silence “Beside after the initial shock Yaku-san was pretty chill with it too” 

“Yeah that’s because he switched rooms with Kuroo-san so he could share with you” Lev mumbled, pouting slightly. Akaashi-san raised an eyebrow at him, his gaze asking Tadashi should i be concerned?. Tadashi blinked the tears that had settled on his eyes after his sneezing and shook his head reassuringly, knowing too well that it was indeed something Akaashi-san would be concerned about.  

___

Keiji came to his office right before lunch, eyes full of worry and fingers fidgeting his dress shirt, and for a second Yaku imagined something worse had happened. But when Akaashi uttered “Yamaguchi is sick” he released a breath of relief. 

“Sick?” he asked, opening up his work calendar on his phone. He had a meeting right after lunch and he was in the middle of a debate with himself about whether he should skip the meal to prepare for it.

“Fever and he’s coughing a little too.” Mori scoffed at how motherly Keiji sounded “He can’t concentrate on his work and I think he shouldn’t have come to office today.”

“And why are you telling me all this?” Yaku asked, knowing exactly what Akaashi was hinting at.

“I’m worried about him,” Keiji said, stalling the thing he actually wanted to say.

“Then tell him to take the rest of the day off,” Yaku advised. 

“I’m not the authorized person to do that” Akaashi muttered, blushing in embarrassment.

“Neither am I, Keiji. Take this up to Tetsurou” Yaku waved his hand in dismissal. He knew Akaashi wouldn’t do it, that’s why he came to Yaku. Kuroo and Keiji had a big fight over a similar situation a year ago, it had been so massive that they both have stopped talking to each other for a whole month.

 It had been so massive that both of them had come to Yaku (separately) to submit their resignation letters. 

“I-” before Keiji could conjure up an excuse the door to his office opened to reveal a head full of bed hair and a sheepish smile. “I’ll drop him if you want”

“How long have you been standing there?” Yaku asked calmly, not surprised by the eavesdropping. Kuroo looked at Akaashi, ears a shade of pink, before saying “I just happened to pass by when I saw Keiji.” Everyone in the office knew Akaashi was the one who gave Yaku the unofficial details of what was happening in the department. And with the financial year closing and promotions around the corner, Yaku was not surprised that Kuroo was fishing for news  “But seriously Yakkun, even I’m worried about Tadashi. I’ll drop him off during lunch so don’t wor-”

“No,” Yaku denied.

“What do you mean no?” Kuroo looked at him, offended. Akaashi’s silent snicker fueled Kuroo’s bruised ego even more.

“You’re the team lead.” Yaku said firmly, tone harsher than he usually used for Kuroo “Why would you go all the way to drop him? During working hours? Just tell him to go home and  to take tomorrow off. Or work from home if he can”

“I need to talk to him anyway. He's been avoiding me.” Kuroo looked at Yaku with determination, trying to convey something through his eyes.

“For a reason Tetsuro” Yaku said gently, “He’s avoiding you for a reason” Akaashi looked at both of them as they continued to stare at each, fighting a silent war.

“Fine do whatever you want” Yaku gave up in frustration, knowing too well he was going to lose anyway “Just don’t come back to me when things go wrong again” 

“They won’t. I’m not going to make the same mistakes again” Kuroo said before hurling out of the door.

“Don’t ask,” Yaku-san said, still staring at the door, when Akaashi looked at him in question. 

___

His headache had reached to a point where even staring at the screen flared the pain. His napkin was so dirty with snot that he had to borrow Mai-san’s tissue box to wipe his nose. He didn’t have time to check but he was sure his fever was rising as well. He was miserable. And he wanted to go home.

"Come on pack your stuff" He was glad that his reflexes weren’t fogged by the fever as he pulled his hand away right before his laptop closed down. He stared at the hand resting on his laptop, too scared to look at its owner's face.

He regretted saying no to Lev’s proposal to have lunch together. He regretted staying back to finish up with his work. He regretted putting off apologizing to his boss.

"What?" He asked, eyes traveling from the arms with the rolled sleeves to the hazel eyes.

"I'm taking you home." 

"Ah- there's no need. I'll manage-"

"Even if you can manage. I don't want you to. Just take the rest of the day off. " Tadashi would’ve gone with his I’m completely fine act but the loud sneeze that tickled his nose had other plans. Kuroo pressed his lips into a line as Tadashi sneezed into a spare tissue (uttering a miserable excuse me into the crumbled piece of paper) "okay first the doctor then home"

"There is no need. Seriously" Tadashi protested half heartedly "I'll take the train"

The death glare Kuroo gave him took him back to his high school days, he smiled at the thought of how his baby faced senpai never had the desired effect like its adult version did  "This isn't a choice Yamaguchi. Pack your stuff I'm taking you to the doctor" To be really honest, he was actually glad about the offer, he had absolutely no energy to drag his feet into the two hour long commute. 

When he got up, his vision blanked for a second. Like his brain had stepped outside and there was no one to control his body, which was falling dangerously forward. He couldn’t even feel the hand that took hold of his elbow, helping him balance. When his consciousness came back, he was leaning into his boss’s chest.

"What's wrong?" Maybe his brain was still not functioning properly because Kuroo’s voice sounded so comforting that he wanted to lean in further, half sure that if he did the taller one wouldn't let him fall. 

"I feel like fainting" even talking felt like a huge task for him, he let his head hit Kuroo's shoulder, feeling breathless.

After that his memory was a little muddy (believe me he tried his best to remember every single detail so he could overthink his actions). He remembers  a hand on his waist guiding him. A voice urging him to walk a little further. Fingers brushing away his sweaty hair that were sticking to his forehead. The smell of peaches floating around his head.

"Why did you come to the office in this condition? This is careless Yamaguchi" he remembers smiling as he heard the voice clicking its tongue in annoyance. He was used to hearing the voice. 

The voice visited his dreams like that, in annoyance, questioning his existence, but in his dreams he didn’t smile like he did now, he usually cries (or wakes up with a gasp).

He was not quite sure if he was dreaming, but he replied to the voice. "I remember you playing in the finals when you had a high fever" The silence that followed his statement led him to believe that he was in fact dreaming. 

He was floating in silence after that, frown still evident on his face.

"I was stupid back then" Tadashi frowned, the voice was sweet now, somehow melancholy. He had never heard the voice like that  "I made stupid decisions which I'm not proud of" His frown deepened. He wanted to ask the voice, but he was afraid of what it would answer.

The last thing he remembered  was seeing the doctor, and laughing at the weird choppy bangs of his doctor (and the doctor pouting but ignoring Tadashi’s antics). 

Everything after that was dark and peaceful.

___

When he opened his eyes, groaning as he felt a jolting pain run through his spine, he was in his apartment. He could hear Nakamura-san yelling at her son. He was lying on his bed, tucked into his blanket. What surprised him was how he had somehow gotten out of his work clothes and was wearing one of Tsukki’s dino shirts. What surprised him even more was the wet cloth on his forehead.

He could imagine himself getting out of his clothes subconsciously but there was no way he would've gotten the cloth in his state. Therefore his conclusion reached the point to believe that this was his boss’s doing. He did regret not remembering how Kuroo got his lifeless body up to his apartment.

"You're up! Thank God! Don't ever do something like that! I was so scared" the voice was back, this time with its owner. Kuroo had lost his blazer and his tie, shirt sleeves rolled up to his forearms (just how Tadashi liked it). The bastard placed a bowl on the small table beside Tadashi’s bed. He watched in wonder as Kuroo gently peeled off the wet cloth (later he would realize that it was the bastard’s napkin) off his head and soak it in the bowl.

Wrenching the cloth once, Kuroo placed it back on his forehead. And the effects were immediate. The cold cloth soothed the imaginary fire that had been burning his skin since the morning. He sighed loudly, almost chuckling at the refreshing feeling. 

"I wanted to make you something but I know you don't like people going through your stuff so I ordered some soup" Kuroo continued, unaware of the bliss Tadashi was experiencing. Kuroo looked at him, smiling guiltily. His eyes had decided on their own accord to stare at the open button of Kuroo’s dress shirt and the patch of skin it revealed. He groaned as his brain conjured unsolicited images of his boss naked and the thoughts of kissing him. 

"What's wrong? Does something hurt?" Kuroo asked, tone rising in concern.  

"No- it's- you don't need to do this Kuroo-san I ca-" he said, cheeks feeling flushed all of a sudden.

"I know" Kuroo cut him off, lips stretching into a smile "I know you can take care of yourself. I know I don't need to do this. But being sick alone is a bit lonely. I can tell you from experience. You have to do everything alone, take care of yourself, make food, take meds, and all the while trying to let your body fight the sickness." 

The bastard peeled the wet cloth again, fingers gently stroking the cooled skin of his forehead "You rest as much as you can. I'll stay here till your fever goes down."

"It might not go away today," Tadashi said in a challenge.

Kuroo’s smile widened  "Fine I'll leave after dinner. Happy?"

"You don't have to be nice" he mumbled, realizing how he had inconvenienced the bastard "After what I did. I haven't even apologized for kis-"

"We'll talk about that later" Kuroo placed the freshly wet cloth back on his forehead  "You just relax. I'll wake you up when the food is here"

He felt warm. In his overheated body, he felt warm and didn't really mind it. He smiled at his ceiling as Kuroo got out of the room.

"Did you grope me?" Tadashi asked out loud, still smiling at the ceiling. He chuckled when he heard loud banging from the kitchen followed by a yelp. Kuroo’s horrified face peaked from the door “What!?’

"To find my keys? I'm assuming you had to grope me" He sat up in his bed, grinning at the flustered face of Kuroo.

"No! No" Tadashi watched as Kuroo’s ears turned red "Your neighbor had a spare key." Yamaguchi couldn't resist laughing at how cute Kuroo was (later when his fever got down he regretted even thinking that) "Charming lady by the way. I can still hear her" As if on cue Nakamura-san’s yelling seeped through the walls "See?" 

They both smiled at each other, and Tadashi wanted to soak up all the warmth he was feeling at that moment. But the memories of the trip were still haunting him, whispering into his ears how he had messed up every time he looked at Kuroo. The guilt had suddenly increased tenfold now.

"Kuroo-san" his voice came out hoarse. "I'm sorry for kissing you like that. That was inappropriate. I shouldn't have done that"

"Tadashi-" Kuroo’s smile vanished and suddenly it was hard to look at the bastard’s face. 

"Please don't say anything. I'll probably start crying. Even if you don't forgive me just don't say anything please. I just wanted to apologize so I could get it out of my chest"

Kuroo frowned, eyebrows knitting together like he was deciding whether he should say something "Fine. I won't say anything" The reassuring smile made Tadashi breath a sigh of relief  "I'll go get some medicine for you"

"You don't-"

"-need to, I know" Kuroo gave him a wink in return before leaving.

Tadashi found himself smiling at the ceiling the second time that day.

___

It was almost nine when Yaku finished his work. He was late for dinner. It was a common occurrence but today he had plans. Today he couldn’t afford to be late.

He looked at his watch, tapping his foot in impatience as the lift door opened to the basement. They were supposed to meet at 8:30 at the restaurant. He fished out his phone from his jacket, he had forgotten to inform that he would be late. There were no notifications, no missed calls or angry texts asking him where he was. 

When he was with Kai he had never made an effort, he was aware of that. He knew how much it bothered his husband when he always came late, even on date nights. Yaku wanted to change, he was trying really hard to change. But the weight of being head of  department was too much.

He had almost clicked on the call button, ready to inform that he wouldn’t be able to make it to dinner after all when he saw a figure leaning over his car. His heart skipped a beat (he won’t admit it but it did).

“Were you waiting this whole time?” Yaku asked the figure, baffled even at the thought.

“Yes”

“You could've called me,” he sighed, opening his car.

“I didn't want to disturb you. I wanted to go together but when I came by earlier you were on a call so I thought I'll wait here for you”

“Lev” Yaku sighed. 

He still can’t really process how it happened, one minute he was avoiding the kid and the next minute he was going on a date. He blamed his drunk self for agreeing to the stupid deal Lev came up with.

It happened during the trip, while he was drunk at the hotel bar, trying to figure out what to do with his sleeping arrangements. He had called all the neighboring places just to see if there was any vacancy.

 “I got you some cake” the ceramic plate made a loud noise as it slid in front of him, carrying a piece of chocolate cake. In his intoxicated state he had found the gesture endearing. He smiled, and took a sip of his glass (which had magically emptied itself).

 “Thank you Lev. That’s very thoughtful” he didn’t touch the plate, he wasn’t planning to. He stared at the line of alcohol bottles behind the bar counter, hoping if he stayed silent enough the kid would lose interest and leave him alone.

“Can you tell me why?’ Lev sat beside him on the stool, actions clearly declaring that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Why what?” Yaku asked, signaling the bartender to refill his drink. He was trying not to look at the kid’s face. The disappointment he had witnessed earlier was haunting enough for him.

“Why, you think you don’t deserve love?” the question was asked barely over a whisper. 

He laughed. He was glad that the bar was empty, no one to witness his actions “It was a stupid thing to say, I was drunk Lev. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

That should’ve been where he stopped talking. But when Lev didn’t say anything he couldn’t handle the silence. “I just-” he sighed, releasing every drop of air from his lungs “Every relationship I’ve been in, they all end up badly. So I just thought maybe i don’t deserve love” He added the shrug as an afterthought, to seem unbothered “I know it’s a stupid thought-”

“It is,” Lev agreed firmly, making Yaku smile.

“I know. I’m aware of it, so drop it okay?”

“You deserve love”

“I know”

“I can love you”

Yaku sighed “I know that too.” he took a sip from his refilled drink before saying “But I don’t want your love”

“Why not?” Lev didn’t sound angry, just curious, which surprised Yaku. 

“Because” Yaku knew if he said anything he was going to regret it later. He should’ve kept his mouth shut  “I don’t think I deserve it-” He finally turned to face the kid, and as Lev opened his mouth to protest Yaku raised his hand to stop him “Let me finish. You’ve been really sweet, I’ll admit. And I’m sure you’re a nice person and anyone would be lucky to date you. But I’m fucked up Lev.” He let his words sink in  “The one person who I thought could handle me, ended up leaving me. That’s how fucked up I am. The one person who loved me couldn’t tolerate me any longer. I don’t want you to go through what my ex-husband had to go through. I was distant, I was too busy, I didn’t show affection, I was closed off.” He washed down the rest of his drink, feeling the burn in his throat intensify “I like you Lev, that’s why I don’t want to hurt you”

"Can't you give me a chance?" Lev asked in a whisper, "Even if it ends up hurting me I'll be fine. It would be my decision"

"Lev" Yaku adjusted his position so he could face Lev, making sure his face was devoid of any emotion he said "you liked me because of how I look. Not because of my personality. This is what it is, one day you'll realize that you don't really like me"

“I'll agree that I did like you because of how you looked in the beginning but I still wanted to know more about you, that’s why I’m chasing you” Lev had managed to somehow grab Yaku’s hand between his tall fingers. 

“Lev” He tried to get his hands out of Lev’s hold “I'm saying that even though you decided that you liked me because I looked nice to you doesn't mean you'll like my personality.”

“We've known each other for two months now. I'm still chasing you aren't I? Doesn't that tell you anything?” 

“Two months is nothing” Yaku scoffed at Lev’s innocence.

“Then how long do you want” Lev didn’t look like he was backing down. Sometimes when he was alone in his apartment he would think to himself why did he even like Lev, and stubbornness would be the first thing to be added on the list.

“At least half a year” Yaku said, in an attempt to scare off Lev. There was no way Lev would stay that long.

“Then let's do that” Lev’s eyes sparkled, and Yaku was so mesmerized that he didn’t really register what was being said.

“What?” he asked in confusion.

“Let's wait till six months and see if I'm still interested. If I am then will you give me a chance?” 

“What- this is not-”

“Yes or no” Lev smiled, cheeks pink. And Yaku felt his brain short circuit (it was the alcohol he kept saying in his head)  “You know you've never actually denied when I ask you. You just run away whenever I ask”

He stared at Lev, a smile slowly creeping onto his own face. He was aware of it, that he had never really said no to Lev. And he knew the reason too, he was just too ashamed to admit it. He knew if he ever said no to Lev, the kid would leave him alone and would never bother Yaku again. And no matter how many times he tried to convince himself that it wasn’t a healthy thing to do, he didn’t want Lev to stop.

“So?” Lev leaned in, raising his eyebrow when Yaku didn’t answer.  

“Fine. Six months and if you're still interested then I'll date you” he knew he was going to regret it. He had known it the moment he opened his mouth.

“Yes!” Lev jumped from his seat in excitement,  “But- but no ignoring me. We're supposed to get to know each other better.” 

“Do I have to?” Regret was a common theme that day.

“Yes! Also let's have dinner together once a week” It was the first time Yaku had seen Lev happy, and he had to accept that seeing Lev made his heart race.

“What? Lev that's completely unnecessary”

“It is extremely necessary, Yaku-san. See if you want to repel me you have to let me know what you're actually like. If you play hard to get then I'll probably be more interested” Yaku knew Lev was toying with him, the mischievous smile was the evidence. 

“Fine” Yaku agreed with a mock sulk  “But keep this a secret. No one from the office should know. Not even Tadashi”

Lev’s smile made him forget about the regret for the rest of the night.

___

There was beeping somewhere far away, that’s what woke him up. He was still a little groggy as he searched for his phone, groaning as his body ached in pain. He could feel his joints creek as he got up, Tadashi felt like he had aged 30 years in one night. The beeping was still there, getting louder. When his hands finally found his phone, ready to turn off the alarm, he realized that his phone was switched off.

The beeping continued.  He stumbled out of his bed to investigate the noise, sniffing into a discarded napkin by his bedside. He was feeling a lot better, the fever was still there but he felt like he could handle it.

He remembered how Kuroo had woken him up to give him food (the bastard didn’t feed him to his disappointment). He smiled as he recollected how Kuroo had acted like a mom as he explained when he was supposed to take his medicines. Kuroo had told him, very firmly, to take as many days leave as he wanted and to get better. Which had made him feel warm again, and he had smiled at his boss and told him it won’t be needed.

The beeping, he realized after his body had finally woken up, was coming from the hall. 

There was a body on his sofa. He stood frozen in his place, recognizing the rooster hair. The position Kuroo was sleeping in didn’t look very comfortable, a big portion of his legs were hanging in the air. One hand slung on the back of the sofa and the other hanging on the floor. 

“Kuroo-san?” Tadashi laughed at how ridiculous his boss looked, “Kuroo-san! Why are you still here?”  he touched the bastard’s shoulder softly “You were supposed to go back after dinner”

“How could I leave you in that state?” Kuroo said sleepily, or at least that’s what he interpreted from the muddled words that came from the bastard's mouth. Yamaguchi was still a little sick and definitely in pain. But looking at Kuroo trying to fit onto his tiny sofa made him forget about everything else.

Chapter Text

When Kenma-san invited him for the reunion dinner Tadashi thought he was joking. Well firstly because large gatherings and Kenma-san were two things he would never associated together. And secondly because Kenma-san was one of the people who knew about his reality in high school.

“It would be nice,” Kenma had shrugged dismissively. 

“Nice? You’re saying this?” Tadashi had laughed, louder than he usually did around Kenma. “Who are you and what did you do to my precious senpai?”

“Oikawa-san is back after a long time. And honestly it’s been a while since I talked to half of the team.” Even though it did sound like Kenma was interested in going to the reunion, Yamaguchi wasn’t buying the act. He folded his arm over the coffee table, eyes raised in question, waiting for the truth to come out.  “Okay fine Suga-san is threatening me to come. If I’m going you’re coming with me. I’ll drag you there if I have to” Tadashi continued his loud laugh (making people in the café turn his way) at how cute his senpai looked while pouting. 

“I don’t really think I’m ready to face them right now,” Tadashi said after a beat, quietly stirring his untouched coffee. The only person he had been scared to meet was the bastard, but if Tadashi saw his old team all together he knew his safely locked box of memories would break into pieces (besides it was already too difficult to keep it closed these days).

“You told me Tetsurou and you are doing fine now.” Kenam looked at him, eyes glinting a little under the fluorescent light of the café. In high school Tadashi used to be mesmerized by Kenma’s eyes, how they turned cold right when the blonde stepped into the volleyball court and how they softened just a tiny bit whenever they won a match. He remembered trying to crane his neck just to get a glimpse of Kenma right after the match was over.

“He won’t shut up about you when he comes over” Kenma continued, leaning forward to take a sip from his cold coffee (and missing the straw a couple of times). Tadashi felt like there was something Kenma wasn’t telling him but he still found himself blushing at the thought of his name leaving Kuroo’s mouth.

“He talks about me?” he asked in a whisper. Looking up he caught a glimpse of Kenma rolling his eyes.

“I warned you, didn't I?” his senpai accused, mouth turning downwards in disapproval.

Tadashi felt a cold splash of guilt drench his face “I know, It’s just-” he tried to explain when Kenma stopped him, raising his palm.

“Whatever, I know you’ll give me a lame excuses and I’ll act like I believe it. Let’s skip that. Just come to the group dinner.” Tadashi smiled at the straightforwardness.

“I’ll have to ask Tsukki” if his blonde best friend was there, he felt he could manage surviving his box of memories breaking. And he knew for sure Kei would stop him from doing something stupid (like getting drunk and kissing his boss and- okay let’s not go down that road). 

“Yeah the more people the easier it would be to slip out unseen” his senpai gave a nod of approval. Yamaguchi laughed, trying to hide the weird mix of worry and fear bubbling inside his stomach. 

Even though things had gotten a lot better with Kuroo, it was still difficult at times to be around the rooster head. But there were people he really wanted to meet, like Hinata (even thinking about his tiny friend made him excited). At the same time there were people he would rather not meet again. Surprisingly Oikawa-san was one of them. 

Oikawa-san had been really nice to him, in fact he could say for sure he was Tadashi’s favorite of the third years. After the homophobic fiasco in their club room, Oikawa came out to the team. Eyes fixed on Kuroo the entire time. “So if you have a problem with it then I’ll quit” He had said firmly. No one had uttered a word, but Tadashi was in his third year when he heard how Oikawa and Kuroo had a falling out. 

Tadashi saw Oikawa as his idol most of the time. He wanted that confidence, he wanted that skill, he wanted that knowledge. And he wanted his senpai to be proud of him. He knew that if Oikawa saw Tadashi now, their pretty setter would realize that Tadashi was nothing but a failure. 

He called Tsukki on his way back home, hoping hearing his best friend would clear some of his own self loathing thoughts. “Did you hear about the reunion dinner?” he asked immediately, not waiting for the greetings to be exchanged. 

“I got a message from Suga-senpai about this” there was no excitement in Kei’s voice “but I won’t be able to make it” Tadashi knew Kei was being smug. He could hear the pleased smile in Kei’s voice.

“WHYYYY?” Tadashi whined, knowing that once Kei made his verdict there was no way of changing it. 

“Have a practice match on that day” (that lucky bastard) Tsukki replied happily.

“You can’t ditch me like this Tsukki!” Yamaguchi knew it was useless of an attempt but he tried anyway (he was desperate okay?).

“You don’t have to go, make up some excuse” 

“Kenma-san already threatened to drag me there if I refuse” Yamaguchi pouted as he swiped his train card, shifting his phone from one ear to the other. He heard an amused chuckle from the other end of the phone.

“Don’t laugh!” he whined again, making the two school girls walking behind him giggle. 

“Anyway, what is the big deal? You already know how to deal with the bastard now.” There was a sharp tone of accusation in Tsukki’s voice. Tadashi had yet to tell Kei about the kissing incident. And now he knew the longer he waited the bigger and more intense his lecture would be. 

He snorted at the thought that there had been so many people warning him about Kuroo and he did exactly what he was told not to.

“What?” Kei asked, hearing his snort. 

“You and Kenma-san are so similar. He said the exact same thing to me” Tadashi replied as he stepped into the train.

“You’re changing the topic,” Kei observed. Even though he was proud of the blonde’s silent observation skills, he hated it when Kei used it on him “Did something happen?”

A lot of things had happened. He had kissed Kuroo. He had apologized for it. He had gotten sick. Kuroo had taken care of him. And now he was sure that he had once again fallen in love with Kuroo Tetsurou.

None of these things he was planning on telling his best friend.

“Nothing did!” he said loudly, trying to dismiss the topic as quickly as possible “I’m just saying you two are concerned about the wrong things” (nice save) “Even if I can deal with him doesn’t mean I like to face him” (a lie).

“Anyway you'll have other people there.” Kei made an attempt to reassure Tadashi “Shoyo is also back, I’m pretty sure he’ll be there”

“Oh Oh that reminds me!” Tadashi said excitedly, hazel eyes and veiny arms forgotten “Did you hear about his boyfriend?”

“Ah yes that setter” Tadashi smiled at how Tsukki’s voice turned sour “I knew Shoyo had bad taste but this is going too far seriously”

“You’re just pissed because you lost against him in the finals” Tadashi smiled wider when Kei clicked his tongue in frustration. Who knew his this-is-just-a-club Tsukki could hate losing so much.

“Don’t bring that up, that was such a lame match” there was definitely a pout, Tadashi was sure of it.

He smiled at his own reflection on the train windows, swaying a little.

Fear was still bubbling inside his stomach, even though he had nothing to worry about. He knew he would be fine. But deep down it felt like something big was going to happen at the reunion.

___

He was overdressed. He came to know about that fact when he had locked his front door and his neighbor's son, strangely smelling of cigarettes, whistled and asked “Going on a date Yamaguchi-san?” 

He had the decency to blush and then reply back curtly “If your mom catches you with that cigarette then don’t expect me to take you in when she throws you out”

He knew he was over dressed when he called a cab, even though the cost of it would take up half of his month’s salary, just so he didn’t ruin the outfit in the train. He also knew the reason he was overdressed was not because of the reunion or the fact that he was meeting most of his teammates after a long time but because he wanted to impress a certain someone (who he wasn’t supposed to).

Tsukki had told him he would try to get out of practice for the dinner but Tadashi knew Kei enough to know when the blonde was making excuses. And Tadashi was not going to force his best friend (mainly because if Kei did come, the blonde would definitely notice the awkward tension between their ex-captain and Tadashi. And he was not ready to have that conversation).

He had not discussed the reunion much with Kuroo, just once when Kuroo had offered to drive Tadashi there (which he had refused if you hadn’t figured it out by now). 

Things had been going smoothly (too smoothly for his overthinking brain to handle). Kuroo had stopped being mean to him and it was a refreshing change for him. He could finally appreciate Kuroo as a person now. But on the other hand his heart had picked up a bad habit of racing whenever he came into close proximity to his boss. And somehow Lev had figured it out (that boy just pretended to be dumb), and left no chance of teasing Yamaguchi on it. 

When he reached the place (too fancy for his liking), there were three people there. Kenma smiled as he made his way across the restaurant towards the table. He bowed in greeting to the two other people beside Kenma.

Sugawara was one of those people who would check up on you regularly as time passed, so Tadashi was ready for Sugawara and his motherly smile. However he was not ready for Oikawa-san’s cheerful ‘yahoo’.

Oikawa Tooru had always been a pretty person, the countless love confessions and chocolate gifts were proof of it. Oikawa was always dazzling, even in the court (especially in the court). There had been a time in his second year, when the news of Oikawa’s new boyfriend was in the air, where he had wondered if it would have been better if he would’ve fallen in love with Oikawa rather than Kuroo.

“I thought you would also ditch now that everyone has canceled” Kenma whispered, sounding genuinely surprised.

“What?” Tadashi asked in confusion, dragging a chair out so he could sit down.

“Oh you didn’t know” Kenma raised his eyebrows in realization, a faint smile on display.

“No one is coming?” Yamaguchi asked in horror, he looked at the other two senpai, who were smiling at him as well.

“Apparently everyone has some sort of emergency they need to attend to” Oikawa-san broke the silence, waving his hand as he explained the situation. 

“Hinata too? I talked to him last night and he sounded so excited to come?” Tadashi asked, voice reaching an urgent pitch.

“Apparently his boyfriend got sick” Oikawa-san made a sour face, “I don’t like that guy. He’s such a lousy setter, don’t you think Suga-chan?”

“I think he’s pretty good,” Suga-san replied, provoking Oikawa-san further. “Didn’t he get the best setter award or something last year?”

“I’m better than him for sure” Oikawa-san declared, raising his head high “What do you think Kozu-chan? I’m better right?”

Kenma for his part took time to answer, as if he was really thinking of a proper answer (which was worse than when Suga-san teased in good nature) “His stats are better, he’s younger than you and is in his prime. He doesn’t have any serious injuries as well.” Tadashi smiled at how Oikawa-san’s pout increased as Kenma continued “But you have more gameplay experience. You’re a better judge of the situation.”

“You didn’t really answer if I’m better than him or not” but the flush on the pretty setter’s cheeks indicated clearly that he was pleased with the response.

Yamaguchi was not really paying attention to the conversation, his mind was still stuck on the fact that everyone else had canceled. No one else would be showing up now. Deep down he knew he was disappointed because of that one person alone. He didn’t really care if no one else showed up. He was only looking forward to seeing that one particular face. And deep down he knew feeling that way was wrong and that he should’ve moved on by now.

"Yama-chan look at you all grown up!" Tadashi didn’t realize that Oikawa had changed seats and was now sitting right next to him, leaning in a little too close "you've gotten even prettier" 

There was no way he could’ve stopped his blush from spreading across his face. Oikawa’s smile broadened at Tadashi’s reaction. He was busy trying to hide his reaction that he missed the new addition in their tiny gathering, and only looked up when the person muttered a breathless “Sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find a place to park”

His deepened blush and racing heart had nothing to do with Oikawa now, as he focused on the pair of  hazel eyes and its owner. He knew he was stupid (you don’t need to remind him). He knew there was something wrong with him. He knew he was blind. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling these emotions. He knew.

But when Kuroo’s eyes found him and when the bastard smiled at him in greeting, he forgot.

Before Tadashi could smile back Kuroo’s lips turned into a frown, eyes shifting to Oikawa and the tiny space between them. For a moment his delusional heart thought that Kuroo might’ve been jealous. He could hear Tsukki’s snicker in the back of his head, mocking his absurdity. 

Kuroo sat opposite him, in the seat Oikawa-san had abandoned earlier, eyes stuck on Oikawa’s face. They had greeted each other normally, like they never had a massive fight and had stopped talking to each other.

"It's so nostalgic seeing you all at the same time. Remember how it used to be?" Suga-san said dreamily, trying to cover up the awkward air that came in with Kuroo "Hinata was such a clutz and now look at him playing in the big leagues"

The table chuckled, sweet smiles gracing everyone's face.

"Tsukki-chan too! He was so uninterested in volleyball" Oikawa-san chimed in "Imagine my surprise when I saw him playing pro!" He looked at Tadashi, smiling wide, "was it your influence Yama-chan?"

"No I didn't ha-" before Yamaguchi could finish his sentence, Kuroo interrupted.

"I think all our first years had potential" Something inside Tadashi dropped, Kuroo sounded mean, using the same deprecating tone that the bastard had used for him in high school "it's a shame that our scrawny little freckles didn't go pro"

"Kuroo" Kenma raised his head, frowning. Even though the name was said in a whisper the warning in it was clearly heard. The table felt silent. Tadashi's stomach twisted uncomfortably, heartbeat racing. 

Why all of a sudden? Everything was going fine. Tadashi lowered his head, trying to hide the tears that were prickling behind his eyes.

"He had some potential that's what I'm saying" Kuroo raised his hands in defense, that wretched smirk plastered on his face. 

"It's not like he had a choice" Oikawa-san had placed a reassuring hand on the back of Tadashi's chair. "because of the injury" (the last part was said in accusation).

"Yeah, he got hurt due to his own stubbornness" 

Tadashi looked up in shock. His own stubbornness . He had never once regretted his decisions that led up to his injury. Even if he had known he still would've raced to get the ice pack. He never had blamed the bastard for his injury (because it was Yamaguchi's fault after all). But when Kuroo smirked at him, hazel eyes piercing him, he resented his decision. 

He resented ever loving Kuroo, who had given him nothing but pain. 

Tsukki had been right. Kenma-san had been right. Even an airhead like Lev had warned him. How could he be so blind? What was wrong with him? How could he not see past his own delusions? Why couldn't he see how wrong the bastard was?

He knew if he sat there a minute longer he would burst into tears. And he didn't want Suga-san or Oikawa-san to see him cry. Kenma's eyes haven't left him since the moment the bastard sat down. The blonde tilted his head in question, trying to gauge Tadashi's reaction. Yamaguchi felt the heavy weight of remorse drop into his stomach. How many times had Kenma-san warned him? 

He stood up, and the hand Oikawa-san was resting on his chair dropped at his sudden moment . Tadashi's lower lip was trembling, as he mumbled an excuse and left. Just a few steps more, then you can cry . His name was called multiple times but he was in a rush to get out before anyone could see him cry.

“Tadashi, wait!” He had made it out of the café when the hand caught his wrist making him turn around and face its owner. His heart was beating so loudly that it was hard to hear what the next words were spoken to him.  

“Did I say something?” The question was asked with so much concern and sincerity that he couldn’t stop the scoff of disbelief.

“Something?” he asked mockingly, snatching his hands back “Yes, you said many things” when the hazel eyes still looked at him confused, he added “My own fucking stubbornness? Seriously? Is that what you think I was doing?” he was losing control, the thread he had wrapped around his anger was loosening. Tadashi knew he was raising his voice and they both were standing in front of a busy restaurant with people still around but all Tadashi could see was red “I did it for YOU! It- It’s not like I wanted some fucking appreciation but the least you could do is acknowledge it. I’m not fucking blaming you but seriously? Is that all you had to say? I am so fuck-” he stopped abruptly. What was he doing? He looked at Kuroo’s wide eyes and panicked face. He knew he was supposed to feel guilty. Or maybe a little remorse but he was finally letting it out. There was no stopping him now.

“I'm sorry I didn't-” Kuroo’s hand once again wrapped around his wrist, trying to pull Tadashi close.

“Don't you fucking dare apologize” He yanked his hands back, trying to put some distance between them “I just- it's just hard for me to have dinner with my high school bully”

The shock on the bastard’s face was almost comical. “Did they-?”

“ They ?” Tadashi couldn’t believe his ear, he laughed in disbelief. How could the bastard act like he didn’t have a single idea about what he did to Tadashi “No, you! YOU!” Tadashi was almost screaming now, and people were staring (and not even trying to hide it).

“I didn’t-I didn't know. I never meant it that way”

There was no way this was real. Tadashi was dreaming for sure. His laugh was turning hysteric. And the red he could see was getting dangerously bloody.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" he stood a threatening step towards to bastard, with every intention to hurt, he could hear gasps and urgent whisper around him "you didn't mean it that way? You never thought it would actually hurt me? Did you really think the way you treated me was nice? It was hell for me you fucking bastard. It was so hard to wake up in the morning and think of a new excuse so I didn't have to go to school. Just because you thought it was 'fun' to play with me."

There were tears streaming down his eyes and his whole body had started to vibrate with the rush of adrenaline in his blood. Kuroo had somehow managed to school his expression the entire time he was yelling, which to be honest frustrated Tadashi more. He wanted to hurt the bastard the way he was hurt. He wanted to give the hate back.

"It was just one year. One year. But it still haunts me. It ruined my entire life. I can't live without thinking everyone around me hates me or thinks I'm worthless. I know you never intended it to be like that but you didn't think how I'll take it?"

"Every time I look at you the memories come back. Every single time I try to forget what you did. Every time I try to forgive you for what you did but you never change do you? You manage to crawl back to your original form and make me hate you again"

He doesn't know where he got the courage to say all of that but he was done regretting. He was fine with facing any consequences. Even if it cost him his job.

Chapter Text

To be honest he would be lying if he said he didn't think about it. He would be lying if he said he didn’t regret his actions. Yes, it gave him a brief moment of satisfaction, and it did feel like something heavy had been lifted off his chest and he could finally breathe. But now his mind was troubled.

He did think about it. A lot. 

The moment he reached home, it was as if the switch that was blocking his rational brain had finally switched off and all his overthinking thoughts came flooding in, drowning him in anxiety.

He shouldn't have done it. Even though it was a little satisfying to see the shocked face of the bastard. Calling out on Kuroo's bullshit was something he had been meaning to do for a long time. Even before he had joined the company and had met Kuroo again. He dreamed of standing up for himself, immersing himself in the possibilities of what ifs. And it was refreshing for sure. Like the rope around his neck has finally loosened, releasing him from its chokehold.

But his angered self had forgotten to factor a small fact. Kurro was his boss. And insulting him was not going to do any good to him (work wise). It would be a massive hit on his career if he was thrown out of a company just after joining it. There was no way any other company would hire him after that. His life would be ruined (once again by the same person) because of his stupid decisions.

Even though he was scared of losing his job, there was a part of him that was happy. And that part was telling him to finally take hold of this momentum. To stop being the meek little pushover the bastard liked to play with (and this part surprisingly didn't sound like Kei, like he thought it would).

His heart was tired from racing and his stomach was roaring with all the churning. His body was clearly reacting to the internal turmoil. He could definitely feel the tears burning behind his eyes, ready to race out if he decided to stop holding them back.

He had been stupid. 

Why did he do that? 

Why did he say all that? 

He was taking his seventy eighth sigh of the day when the knock came on his door. For a second his alarmed brain thought it might be the bastard, finally here to take revenge. But to his relief (and maybe a small bit of disappointment) it wasn’t who he imagined.

"What are you doing here?" Tadashi opened the door wide in surprise, and not waiting for his guest to answer he continued in the same surprised tone  "you're supposed to be in Sendai. Wasn't there a match or something? Did something happen? Are you hurt?" 

"Yamaguchi- shut up for a second" it was after Kei had taken a rather deep and shaky breath did Yamaguchi realize that his best friend was panting, like the blonde had ran all the way from the train station to his apartment building (which was a ridiculous though, because the station was quite a long way from his apartment and his best friend, a professional athlete, was the laziest man he had ever known).

"Why are you out of breath? Did you run here?" Wanting to tease his wheezing friend a little more, he widened his eyes dramatically and asked "All the way from Sendai?"

"I'm not insane" Kei rolled his eyes as he pushed Yamaguchi aside, walking into the apartment. Still panting he replied "I took the bullet train"

"But why?" 

"Kenma-san called" Kei frowned at Yamaguchi, eyes piercing "told me what happened today"

Tadashi froze in his place, hands still keeping the door wide open. His heart, which had finally managed to slow down, started to race again. Hazel eyes and the mean smirk flashed before his eyes. Still in shock, he realized a bit late that Kei hadn’t stopped talking.

"-that you're not picking up his calls. Also told me to check up on you" Kei turned angrily as he stumbled out of his shoes "why the hell are you not answering your phone?"

"I-" he couldn’t remember where his phone was, had completely forgotten about its existence "I'm sorry I just had too much on my mind." he paused in his explanation, things finally clicking into place. He turned to gawk at his best friend in awe.  "Did you come here because I wasn't answering my phone?"

"Why else? I thought you did something bad or-” with a vulnerable shudder Kei whispered 

“something bad happened to you" in the years Tadashi had known Tsukki, it was the first time he had heard the blonde so scared. 

"Aww Tsukki. You care for me! That’s so sweet!" Tadashi snickered, trying to force his already drained and emotional brain to focus on his best friend’s reaction rather than bawling in front of Kei.

"Of course I do'' It didn’t help that Kei sounded sincere in his proclamation. He smiled at the blonde as his vision blurred and his lips trembled, which prompted Kei to ask "Are you okay?"

He wasn’t.

Sighing, he walked up to Tsukki and wrapped his arms around the taller’s waist. He knew Kei wasn’t someone who liked physical contact, and the way the blonde stiffened under Tadashi was a clear sign of it. But he had a long day and Tsukki had traveled this far just to check up on him. And Tadashi was fucking tired of holding back his tears "I'm such an idiot Tsukki"

"I already knew that but what did you do this time?" He felt the vibration reverberate through him as Tsukki spoke. 

Smiling, he smacked Kei’s arm  "I messed up" and with that he opened the dam of his tears once again that night.

____

"Okay you did mess up a lot" Tsukki finally said after the silence, staring at Yamaguchi in his usual deadpan as the both sat (awkwardly and probably uncomfortably) on Tadashi’s tiny couch. 

"Thank you so much for being supportive," Tadashi replied sarcastically. He took a deep breath, crying had drained all of his energy. He asked Kei a little more seriously "Shall I quit?"

"Are you kidding?" (He wasn't) Kei looked at him in surprise. "why would you quit for something this silly?"

"Tsukki this is not silly" Even though saying it out loud did make it sound a little ridiculous and overdramatized.

"It is." Kei turned to face him, pulling his leg up in progress to be more comfortable. "He treated you badly. He insulted you in front of people. And then you finally decided to stand up for yourself. Now why exactly would you quit? For doing something like that?"

"But he's my boss!" Yamaguchi whined, copying Tsukki and pulling his leg up.

"And you can sue him for this. He should be the one to quit"

"This is ridiculous. Why would he quit?"

"Then why would you?" Kei looked at him proudly, smiling smugly like he had just made a valid point.

"Tsukki" Tadashi whispered, insecurity lacing into his voice. Even the thought of facing the bastard again was daunting. There was no way he could go back to office now "did I do the right thing?" 

"No" Came the reply.

"What!?"

"If it was me I would've slapped him right there" Kei smirked, nodding at his own reply (this dork).

"Be serious!" Tadashi whined as he kicked Kei playfully (but the blonde caught his ankle without an effort). After staring at each other, challenging the other to counter, they finally dissolved into laughter. 

"I am being serious. You did the right thing. If you didn't stop him now he would've continued this treatment" Kei brought Tadashi’s leg to his lap and rubbed it absentmindedly as he muttered to himself “I should've bought ice cream, it would’ve made you feel better.".

"Aren't you on a diet?" Yamaguchi asked, trying to change the heavy subject. 

"This situation calls for an ice cream, okay? Diet is not impossible right now. Besides I was thinking of you"

"We both know I don’t like sweet stuff. You just want it for yourself," Tadashi pointed out. When Kei didn’t deny it Tadashi let out a laugh, worries forgotten. 

But as the silence surrounded them once again he found himself revisiting the memories of the day. Leaning back, he said to the ceiling "I don't want to go to office tomorrow" 

"Don't go then" Kei said, like it was that easy.

"I don't have much leaves left. I used most of them when I was sick"

"You were sick?"

"Yeah right after I came back from the business trip"

"Was it food poisoning?"

"No, I probably made myself sick by taking on too much stress.” Still staring at the ceiling he continued “It was such a stressful trip. Lev was being a baby, Yaku-san was drinking too much. Then I started drinking too much and then I kissed the bastard-" Fuck. His eyes widened as he stopped mid sentence. He had forgotten about the trip incident all together. 

And he had forgotten to tell Tsukki about it.

"You kissed who?" Kei asked quietly after an eternity of deadly silence passed between them. Yamaguchi sneaked a peak at his best friend's face, trying to gauge his reaction. Kei had no expression on, serious eyes staring back at him calmly.

"The bastard," he said sheepishly.

"Kuroo?” As if once wasn’t enough, Kei asked once again to confirm “You kissed Kuroo?"

"Yes"

"Your boss Kuroo?"

"Yes"

"I change my answer, I think you should quit Yamaguchi"

"Tsukki!!!"

___

Tsukki’s presence had helped a lot, he hadn’t spiraled into a puddle of self-loath (that much). And Kei had gone an extra mile by giving him precise instructions on what to do when he got to the office, which Tadashi thought a bit too much (but the instructions kept his mind away from overthinking).

The anxiety in his stomach, however, had refused to leave him. Even with Tsukki’s reassuring voice in the back of his head, his mind kept dreading the confrontation. 

So when he found the bastard waiting by his desk the next day, he didn’t know how to act. He chose to ignore the looming presence and greeted the others as usual. He finally realized something was off when Lev gave him a small smile instead of his usual grin. Looking up he realized Nametsu and Futakuchi-san hadn’t turned from their seats to greet him either. And Akaashi-san’s back looked stiff, and his senpai kept stealing nervous glances at the roster head, who hadn’t moved since Yamaguchi arrived.

Tadashi finally mustered up the courage to face the bastard, putting a frown on display to hide his nervousness. When his eyes met hazel ones he faltered, hesitant. But Tsukki’s voice in his mind urged him to keep up his façade. He raised his eyebrows in question, offering no greetings.

“Good Morning” Kuroo smiled, a lazy smile that ticked Yamaguchi off. Why was this bastard acting like nothing had happened? Tadashi didn’t reply back, and continued to stare with his frown. His teammates were already tense before he came but now they were deadly quiet, as if making a sound would make the situation worse. 

“Um-” a styrofoam cup came into his line of view “I got you coffee”

The memories came flooding back to him, and the smirk still plastered on the bastard’s face was adding fuel to his anger. 

“I hate coffee.” Tadashi said with detest, he could hear someone gasp behind him. Kuroo’s face morphed into surprise. There was a moment of satisfaction before anxiety came rushing back to Yamaguchi. 

He sat down, ignoring (trying to) the still shocked bastard. Lev leaned in beside him, “Did something happen?” the giant whispered in concern.

“Nothing happened,” Yamaguchi snapped, a little loudly, making sure the other three of his teammates (who were definitely eavesdropping) could hear him clearly. 

 “Yamaguchi” Kuroo made another attempt to gain his attention, “Can we talk?”

“No” He answered back, and as if realizing how rude it was (and the position Kuroo held) he added (making sure he still sounded firm) “I have to start work”

“Yamaguchi-” this time his name was said in defeat. Something inside of him twisted, the anxiety pooling his stomach slowly started spreading into his limbs. He was doing the right thing. Tadashi kept chanting in his head. He was doing the right thing. Was he doing the right thing? 

Well there was no coming back from it. If he was going to lose his job (which was pretty likely at this point), he could walk away from it with the satisfaction that he finally stood up for himself. That he finally said what he wanted to say. He didn’t notice when the bastard left, he was too busy trying to fool his brain into believing he was doing great, but suddenly his chair was being twirled to face Nametsu-san.

“What happened between you two?” She asked in furious whispers, Futakuchi-san peeking from her shoulders. “Do not give me excuses” She warned when Tadashi opened his mouth to do exactly that.

“Nothing happened,” he said, the coldness still present in his voice. “Can we please get back to work?”

He got four different surprised expressions (which was comical) but no one bothered him for the rest of the day. 

___

There was something going on with Tetsurou and Tadashi. He hadn’t noticed any changes in the beginning, and if he was being honest he wasn’t interested in investigating either. He just wanted the day to be over so he could go home. 

But the kid kept bothering him with his concerns and kept dragging him into unwanted drama.

“He’s not telling me anything. He keeps saying nothing is wrong with him” 

“Maybe he is telling the truth” Yaku knew there was no way Tadashi was telling the truth but he just wanted Lev to stop bothering him.

“He is not,” the silver blonde replied. When Lev came dangerously close to where Yaku was sitting, he raised his eyebrows in warning. Even though it was just the two of them in the meeting room.

“Lev” he tried to summon his reprimanding voice, but with the amount of time they had been spending together Lev had slowly become immune to it “he’ll talk when he’s ready. Give him some time” 

“But he looks sad” a pale white had sneaked up to where his own was resting beside the reports, fingers trying to lace with his. But he withdrew his hands with the click of his tongue.

“We’re at work Lev. Behave'' He tried really hard to ignore the pout Lev gave him. The door to the meeting room opened, and the topic of their discussion walked in. When Yamaguchi saw both of them he froze in his steps.

“Lev! Everyone is looking for you. You suddenly disappeared” Tadashi looked at Morisuke and asked with a tease “Is he bothering you Yaku-san? I can ask Akaashi-san to discipline him on- ”    

“No need, he’s not doing anything” Regret seeped into his veins when he saw Tadashi’s face of surprise. And Yaku knew, without looking, that Lev was smiling smugly. Yaku sighed at his own mistake and said “Where is the rest of your team? We need to start the meeting”

Yamaguchi didn’t have to reply as the accused members filled the meeting room. Kuroo was right behind them, eyes downcast and sporting a frown. Yaku watched as his best friend glanced at Tadashi sadly as he took a seat. 

This was not his business. 

Yaku wanted to stay out of the drama. He had no reason to be involved. He had no reason to interfere with whatever fight was silently brewing between two of his employees. He had no reason, except his stupid wide eyed boyfriend kept looking at him, willing him to do something. 

Yaku wanted to go home. 

“Okay let's start with the status” he said, summoning his best boss voice (he had stopped using it recently). He was not going to get involved, even though one of the concerned parties was his own best friend. 

Yaku was not going to get involved in any office drama.

___

He wasn’t going to get involved but…

When I tell you Yaku’s resolve was absolute, it was true (mostly). However his recent decisions weren’t not the greatest examples for it.

He was getting soft, he was aware of it.  He even knew the reason for it (a six foot long reason). But this time he had made up his mind not to get involved, until he finally realized the depth of the situation.

After the end of the meeting as everyone else started leaving, Kuroo finally raised his head and said in quiver “Yamaguchi can I talk to you for a minute?" The entire room fell silent, everyone freezing in their places.

Tadashi, who had been busy wrapping up the presentation, paused, "Is it related to work?" The question was cold, surprising even Yaku.

"Uh not really-"

"Then I'm sorry I'm a little busy" Tadashi stormed out, leaving his things behind. Lev looked at Yaku with his head tilted towards the door, reminding him of the conversation they were having. 

"What did you do?" Yaku turned to look at Kuroo, not waiting for the rest of them to leave. Kuroo looked at him, he didn’t reply immediately, as if debating whether he should confide in Yaku or not. The rest of the team, including Lev slowly left the room giving Yaku and Kuroo some privacy.

"I messed up" Kuroo said finally, Yaku could hear the quiver in his voice.

"Nothing new there" he tried to lighten up the mood by teasing, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation.

"Morisuke" it surprised him when Testurou abandoned his usual nickname "I don't know what to do" It was the first time Yaku heard Kuroo being vulnerable.

Yaku had made up his mind not to get involved. 

"What happened?" he asked with a sigh and when Kuroo looked up, eyes clearly asking for help, he decided to abandon his earlier decision of not getting involved.

Chapter Text

Yaku was angry. No, calling it anger didn't do it justice. He was livid. He was seething. He was enraged. 

Everyone knew he was short tempered. That anything could make Yaku angry. It wasn't difficult to piss Yaku off but not everything made him yell. Not everything made him want to rip his hair out. Not everything made him throw things at the wall. Not everything made him throw his wine filled glass on the floor and cut his hands in the process of cleaning it up. And most importantly not everything (or everyone) made him contemplate homicide. 

Right now Kuroo checked all the boxes. 

"Have you lost your mind?" Yaku yelled, the information bubbled inside of him, boiling in the pit of his stomach. Yaku breathed heavily, feeling dizzy. He really wanted to hit something, fists glued to his side just in case he actually did hit something (or someone) again. 

Kuroo sat without uttering a word, head hung low in shame. It did nothing to silence Yaku's anger. 

"Say something!" Yaku, despite his logical brain telling him otherwise, grabbed Kurro's collar. Yanking him closer, shaking the body as if it was limp. Yaku’s hand stung from the cut. Kuroo wouldn't meet his eyes, but he did open his mouth to speak. 

"I thought-" Kuroo's voice broke. 

"Oh my god Kuroo you can't be serious" Yaku shoved the rooster head back, leaving blood stains on the collar. He grabbed his own hair in frustration. He sat back down in his chair, eyes watering in anger. He processed what Kuroo had told him. He still couldn't believe his ears. This had to be the most ridiculously cruel joke. 

"Tetsurou" Yaku sighed, hands still in his hair. He stared at his dirty carpet floor, the wine stains and the broken glass pieces he tried to pick up. Some of them still had the blood stains on them. His hands stinged from the cuts "you need to talk to him."

"And you think I haven't tried?" For the first time that night Kuroo raised his voice "he's not even looking at me."

"Well why would he?" Yaku found his anger rising again, "My god that poor kid. He had to go through so much" he lifted his head up to stare at Kuroo accusingly "just because you were a fucking coward-"

"I know Yakkun! I know! Would you please stop tormenting me?"

"No" Yaku replied firmly "I'm on his side for this" Kuroo looked up in surprise, expression morphing into hurt "there is no justification for what you did. You need to apologize sincerely"

"I have tried to apologize, Yaku! He won't listen. What if he never listens to it?"

"Then live with it. You don't deserve forgiveness anyway" a lone tear slipped from his eyes as he looked back at his best friend, mind conflicted "he got injured Kuroo! And you're telling me, instead of thanking him for it you made-"

"Would you stop! I know what I did was wrong-" Kuroo stood up in anger, face too close to Yaku’s. 

"Wrong doesn't even cover it.” Yaku pushed Kuroo’s chest back  “What you did was worse than wrong. No wonder he looked so uncomfortable when he first saw you in office"

"Yakkun" Kuroo dropped his head in defeat, as he sat back down.

Yaku stared at the mop of hair as he waited for his heart to stop racing. The memories of his own high school bully came to his mind. How just the thought of it tormented him still, how Kuroo knew about the horrors Yaku had to face. To think that Kuroo himself had tormented someone was horrifying. 

"Get your act together Tetsurou. You need to apologize and explain" Yaku laughed darkly, knowing full well that the explanation would nothing to aid the damage "this is the least you could do"

"He's ignoring me-" Kuroo whispered, too ashamed to lift his head. 

"I'll help you with that" Yaku hated being involved in matters that didn’t concern him, but Tadashi deserved a sincere apology "but that's it. After that you're on your own" 

“Yaku I don’t think he’ll listen to anyone”

“I have a plan” He dismissed the issue quickly as the wetness in his hand increased “Now go bring your first aid kit”

___

"Why are we here Lev?" Tadashi could feel the dull pain of his migraine in the back of his head and he wanted to go home before the nausea hit him.

"To eat" The giant grinned as if he had won a battle. In a way it was more of a kidnapping than a battle, Lev had practically dragged Tadashi from his desk to the nearest restaurant without letting Tadashi time to figure out what was going on (and if Tadashi even opened his mouth to complain, Lev would childishly cover his mouth with his giant palm). 

"I told you I wasn't interested" Tadashi frowned at Lev, who was busy staring over Tadashi's shoulder. The restaurant, despite it being the peak time for business, was practically empty. 

"But I'm hungry!" Lev whined, eyes still glued at something behind Tadashi, the giant fidgeting on his seat. 

"Akaashi-san was taking you for dinner! Why did you say no?" Yamaguchi turned to see what Lev was staring so intently but Lev’s loud voice distracted him.

"His boyfriend would be there" 

"It's his restaurant, of course he would be there" Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. Tadashi's stomach rumbled as the smell of fried shrimp wafted through the air. 

"He's scary. He keeps staring at me whenever we go there" the pout on the giant’s face made him smile.

Yamaguchi knew the real reason why Lev had dragged him here, the worried look on the giant’s face was a dead giveaway. And even though Tadashi was grateful that Lev was trying to cheer him up, he really needed to go home before his headache became more intense. But now his stomach had started protesting quite loudly, demanding to be filled. 

He knew how his behavior the past couple of days had affected his teammates. He never intended the others to be involved in his mess. 

But the mess just happened to be their boss.

The bell, that rang when a new customer opened the door, rang which made Lev perk up in his seat. “Oh! They are here” he said with a bright smile as he waved at someone over Yamaguchi’s shoulders.

"Did you invite anyone else?" Tadashi turned around, anxiety pooling in his stomach. While he did appreciate Lev checking up on him, Tadashi really didn't want a big crowd around him. Although when he saw the face of their department head, the anxiety turned into surprise. Of all the people Lev could call over, he was not expecting it to be Yaku-san.

"Wha-" he whipped his head back to look at Lev, eyes wide in surprise "How? Why is he here?"

Lev instead of replying continued to stare at Yaku-san, cheeks dusting pink. Yamaguchi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Hello Tadashi" Yaku-san greeted when he finally reached their table "I hope we're not intruding your dinner"

"We-?" Before Tadashi had the chance to ask who else was accompanying Yaku-san, he felt a presence behind him. A familiar scent wafting into his nose. He froze when the realization hit him. 

"Yamaguchi-" Tadashi was already standing, ready to bolt, even before the bastard had the chance to utter his name. 

"Tadashi" Yaku-san's stern voice stopped him. 

He looked back, ready to argue back but Yaku-san's eyes were sad. He knew. Yamaguchi's stomach twisted into knots, he couldn't stand the look of pity (especially from Yaku-san). When Yaku-san was sure that Yamaguchi wouldn't run again he continued, sounding guilty "Just listen to him once. Please. You don't have to forgive him or anything. You can even punch him if you want" Yamaguchi smiled at the statement, because Yaku-san sounded extremely serious "- but, just hear him out. For my sake" the department head even sounded pained. 

"Yaku-san" Even though he really wanted to be good for Yaku-san, he didn't have the strength (or the courage) to listen to the bastard one more time "I appreciate your concern but I'm afraid I can't -"

"I know" Yaku-san interrupted him, and the sad tone of his voice confirmed Yamaguchi's suspicions that he in fact knew about Tadashi's past "if I'm being honest I don't want you to listen to him either" that surprised Tadashi, he was expecting Yaku-san to take the bastard's side. But instead Yaku-san was looking at Kuroo in disgust "if it was in my hands I would want this bastard to suffer forever "

Tadashi couldn't help his laughter from bubbling out as he heard the old nickname. Yaku-san suddenly reminded him of Tsukki. 

"Okay" Tadashi said, he really didn't want to hear anything from Kuroo but for some reason Yaku-san really sounded desperate. The bastard, who had been staring at the floor with his head hanging low, looked up at him in surprise "I'll listen" Tadashi said, sitting back down. 

"Thank you, Yamaguchi" Yaku-san bowed down making Yamaguchi feel overwhelmed. Before Yamaguchi could say a word, Yaku-san looked at Lev "Come on, Lev"

"Huh? Why?" Lev looked like he had been distracted during the conversation. His eyes were fixed on Yaku-san. 

"Why!? This is not your business. Let them talk privately. We'll go to a different table." Yaku-san was already walking away, leaving Lev behind. 

"Okay!" Lev grinned and followed Yaku-san, with a spring in his step. 

Yaku-san however stopped in his tracks and walked back towards Yamaguchi. He leaned, whispering into Yamaguchi's ears "I meant what I said, you don't have to forgive him. And if you choose to punch him I wouldn't mind that either, I would actually love to see that happen. Just-" a hand rested on Yamaguchi's shoulder, squeezing softly "Don't forgive him just because you have to or because he's your boss"

When Yaku-san left, Kuroo didn't lift his head but sat opposite Tadashi. They stayed silent for a long time. The awkward air was so obvious that the waitress who came to place the food (that Lev had sneakily ordered without Yamaguchi knowing) kept giving Yamaguchi a sympathetic smile. 

"I thought you had something to say" Yamaguchi finally said after another moment of silence stretched between them.

"Yeah- yes I do. I-" Kuroo stammered. He opened his mouth to form words but nothing came out. Even though Yamaguchi was reluctant to hear what Kuroo had to say, he was a little bit curious as well. 

"If you want to say something, do it now. I'm not gonna wait for you forever" Tadashi warned him. 

"I'm sorry Yamaguchi" even though Kuroo didn't look up while saying it (Yamaguchi almost thought that the bastard was apologizing to the table more than to him), it sounded sincere enough.

Yamaguchi waited for an explanation, anything that could explain the bastard's behavior. But when nothing followed, Yamaguchi found himself frowning. He waited a few more minutes but all Kuroo did was stare at the table. 

"That's it?" He asked in disbelief "That's all you have to say to me? That's all I get?"

" No- I-" Kuroo stumbled with his words one more time, but then came to a stop. Lips pressed into a line. 

Yaku had gone to lengths for this man. He had practically begged Yamaguchi to listen to the bastard's apology. Tadashi was pissed.

"Forget it" he said, grabbing his bag and ready to leave "I don't know why I said yes" 

"Yamaguchi-" Kuroo's arm reached out but didn't touch him, the bastard sounded vulnerable as he continued "I did regret it. The way I treated you."

Yamaguchi sat back down. 

"Even when I left school, it haunted me. I know it probably won't sound true to you but I wanted to apologize so many times. I went to all your games, mustering up courage to say something to you but I couldn't. I- I was afraid that I had hurt you deeply. Kenma kept telling me to apologize but- I just couldn't muster up the courage." Kuroo stopped, he took a deep breath as if to gather his courage "I-" the bastard laughed nervously "I had a crush on you."

Of all the explanations Kuroo could give, he was not expecting to hear that. Tadashi sat there frozen in shock as the bastard laughed again. 

"I liked you. And I was straight. I had a lot of internalized homophobia back then. A lot of thoughts on how I shouldn't be feeling this way. How I shouldn't fantasize about you this way. And I-" the laugh this time sounded scared "took it out on you. I know it was not your fault, that you had nothing to do with it. But I kept thinking that you were doing this to me on purpose, that you were torturing me on purpose."

"So you bullied me?" Tadashi whispered in confusion, the anger slowly rising up. 

"Yes" Kuroo had the decency to sound ashamed, his eyes fixed on the wooden table and the food left untouched. 

"You treated me like shit" Yamaguchi couldn't doesn't understand, he stared at the bastard's hair as he tried to sit with the information. "I really want to punch you now"

"You can" the reply was sincere, which did nothing to calm Yamaguchi "I deserve it"

He looked at the Bastard, all the things from his past came rushing back. You look so scrawny. His head was spinning. I can play better than you can even in this condition. His breaths came out short, lungs paining. 

Oh he only did it because that way he would at least be involved in something. Unlike the matches.

He didn't know how to stop it. Isn't that a little gay? There was a pain in heart so deep that it made him want to rip it out of his chest. 

it's just that from now on I'll have you two change in a different locker room. Can't have molestation cases- This needed to stop before he spiraled. I mean if I was homophobic I would've thrown you two out instantly but I'm being supportive

I'm just saying we won't feel comfortable changing here now that we know there would be perverts here-

"I don't think I can look at you right now"

Tadashi didn't wait to hear a response, he had already gotten up when the bastard grabbed his wrist in panic. 

"Yamaguchi listen to me" Kuroo removed his hands from Tadashi's wrist when Yamaguchi frowned at the touch. "I'm sorry, I really am. It's not some shitty excuse. I do regret every single thing I did! And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you like that. I won't do it again. I promise. Please. Don't I deserve a second chance?"

"No," he replied instantly, feeling the headache in full force "you don't deserve a second chance. You have no idea what I went through. And if you really wanted a second chance you wouldn't have treated me like this now"

"That-" Kuroo's face turned red, he said a little shyly "that was me trying to be nice "

"How was that nice?"

"I got you coffee every day, as a peace offering" 

Looking at the genuine expression on the bastard's face made Tadashi realize "you don't remember do you?"

Kuroo finally looked up at Tadashi, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. 

"How I crashed into you and you got coffee all over me" Tadashi replied tensely, the bastard didn't even remember half of the things he did. Yamaguchi could remember it so clearly. The smell of the coffee, the pain in his leg and that stupid, stupid demeaning smile. 

Kuroo’s jaw dropped, it would’ve been comical in a different situation but it wasn’t funny for Tadashi. "That- I don't- I am sorry." 

Yamaguchi was fuming now. He hadn’t sat back down and the few people present in the restaurant were looking at their table. But Yamaguchi couldn’t bring himself to care, his eyes fixed on the bastard and his ridiculous choice of a tie. "If all this time you were trying to make peace with me then I'm sorry to tell you it didn't work. It made things worse" Yamaguchi could feel something lodged in his throat as he tried to speak.

"I know. I can tell. And I'm really sorry-"

“No you don't fucking understand!" his face was heating up, and his voice was rising but Yamaguchi was done caring about his appearance "your lousy sorry won't make anything better. You don't get to be forgiven. You don't get to have a redemption. My life was hell because of you" His voice wobbled, tears blurring his vision  "I thought of quitting volleyball. Hell, I even thought of quitting school-" when the tears started flowing down his face and his vision cleared, he could see Yaku-san’s worried face over Kuroo’s shoulders. He tried to wipe his face, tried to compose himself but the tears wouldn’t stop.

"I'm not going to forgive you," Yamaguchi said finally, when his voice was stable enough ."You don't deserve it" Yamaguchi didn’t wait for anyone to interrupt this time, he walked out of the restaurant. 

People on the streets turned to look at him as he walked faster, tears slowly streaming down his cheeks. The pain had intensified, spreading through his chest leaving a burning ache behind. He could feel his hands shaking as he dialed the familiar number. He stopped walking, stood in the middle of the sidewalk as people around him mumbled, cold air slapping his face. 

"I'm really not in the mood to hear you rant about quitting Tadashi" Tsukki’s monotonous voice helped Tadashi’s shaking. He tried to take deep breaths, afraid that he would start crying again. It took him a few minutes to calm down, but when Tsukki asked in a soft voice “What’s wrong?” he burst into tears once again.

"I- Tsukki I-" his voice kept getting lost between his sobs. The more he tried to collect himself, the more he felt slipping away. Breathing made him cry more. Tsukki stayed quiet, giving Tadashi time to calm down. In between sobs he finally managed to say "I really want to quit Tsukki'' 

Chapter Text

He had been harsh, he knew that. But you have to be harsh, especially when your own best friend is at fault. You don’t like doing it but you still have to. That is your job as a friend. You owe them to be a good friend. So he knew he had, in a way, hurt Kuroo’s feelings by being harsh but he hadn’t realized the depth of the situation until Kuroo stopped picking up his calls. 

Well if he was being honest, he hadn’t thought it was a big of a deal that Kuroo was ignoring his calls and texts. Kuroo had been a little bit childish from the start. So Yaku wasn’t that worried but then the rooster head requested a few days to work from home. That was extreme, even for Kuroo. This felt like he was running away, hiding instead of facing his mistakes.

So like a good friend, Yaku approved of the work from home request. 

Although after almost a week of silence he ran out of patience. Yamaguchi, surprisingly, didn’t hand in his resignation like Yaku thought he would. Yaku had dragged him aside the next day, letting him know that if he ever wanted to change teams Yaku would do it without question. But Tadashi had smiled and told him he was fine with the team.

“I like the team, it’s not like I need to like my boss. Most people hate their bosses, I’m just one of them” The smile was genuine but Tadashi’s eyes looked sad and red like he had never really stopped crying.   

On Friday, Yaku decided to take a detour on his route home and visit Kuroo. The quietness had scared Yaku, this was not like Kuroo. But then again it was not like Kuroo to torture other people on purpose. There were a lot of things Yaku had yet to learn.

Like how Kuroo was about to hurt him . 

____

“He’s been quiet,” Tadashi said out loud, staring at his phone screen as Tsukki’s snort came through the speakers. 

“You’re telling me you’re not enjoying this?” Sometimes, very rarely (like once in a blue moon rare. Extremely extremely rare. Tadashi couldn’t emphasize on how rare it actually was), he would regret telling Tsukki every minute details of his life. Kei knew him a little too well and it was easier for the blonde to call him out like that. 

“I won’t say I’m enjoying it. I do like the break, it feels nice and peaceful. But that is why it would be more difficult to go back to normal once he does come back. I just want to be mentally prepared when that happens” Tadashi smiled, proud of his own answer.

“Be honest Tadashi” Tadashi stopped his aggressive dish washing to stare at his phone screen, Tsukki never used this serious tone with him. “You're going to forgive him aren't you? Despite everything he has done to you.”

Tsukki, like every other time, had managed to read Tadashi like a book. He really wondered sometimes about how predictable his actions were. But this time Tadashi hadn't made a decision. He would forgive the bastard someday, but right now Tadashi was still drowning in the pain of his past.

“I'm not sure" he said finally, which was in a way the truth. He was not sure. He didn't know what the right thing was anymore. “Technically I have done some wrong things to him as well."

“Like what?" Kei snorted “Having a crush on him was not wrong. At least you never bullied him for it"

“I kissed him" why was he remembering this now. Why was his treacherous brain thinking of the possibility of something more. He needed to stop.

“Right, I keep forgetting about that" Tsukki was silent after that, as if secretly judging his best friend for his stupidity (which Tadashi was sure Kei did all the time).

“What should I do Kei? I'll do whatever you tell me to do. I mean look at your life, it has never been messy like mine. That probably means you make better decisions.” He stared at the phone screen, voice a touch too desperate “So tell me what should I do" 

“I can't tell you that" came the reply, however it didn't sound like Tsukki was restraining from barking orders for Tadashi to follow. It sounded like Kei himself didn't know what to do. “My decisions won't benefit you. I would say to change your team, to not interact with that bastard. But you won't, would you? You have always been a little masochist. You like this pain- No, don't try to argue with me Tadashi. I know you. Even if you try to hide it. You have always liked him despite how he has treated you. I would never understand that- actually I don't want to understand that. How can someone not have a single ounce of self-respect? How can you let him- are you crying?”

Yamaguchi sniffed “Of course I'm crying. You're being mean”

Tsukki laughed, the same laugh he had used to provoke countless of his opponents on the court. “It's not going to change anything though. You'll still act like a fool and forgive him"

“I'm going to hang up on you," Tadashi threatened.

“Yeah because hearing the truth hurts. Because you don't want to face it. You need to realize-” Yamaguchi didn't know what he needed to realize because he had, in a fit of anger, clicked on the red button to hang up the call.

Kei was right. Of course he was right, he was always right that bastard (calling someone other than the bastard, the bastard was weird). But Kei didn't know how difficult it was for Tadashi. He was trying. He really was. To hate Kuroo, to remember the shame and the pain he had felt around him. He was trying.

But at the end of the day Tsukki knew him better than anyone. Tadashi was going to forgive Kuroo. But that didn't mean he couldn't drag that process a bit longer. Yamaguchi wanted the bastard to grovel for forgiveness. To beg. To plead. Until Yamaguchi took pity. 

____

Despite his acute dislike for fish, he had bought some on his way to Kuroo’s apartment. He complained under his breath how his whole car was going to smell of fried fish for the next week.

 It was a peace offering.

Kuroo and Yaku had butted heads from the day they met. They could never agree on anything. So it was natural to have serious fights. And both of their bruised egos won't let them apologize. So they developed a system. They bought each other food, as a peace offering. 

When the apartment door opened, Yaku ignored the haggard look on Kuroo's face. He ignored the red eyes and sunken skin. Instead he smiled, a reassuring smile “I bought fish from that place you like. What was its name again? I can't remember now but-”

“I already ate” the statement was just a whisper, no malice in it but it still hurt Yaku.

“Alright, we can eat it later. Shall I get some beer? How about that?” Yaku looked up, the smile still pasted on his face.

“Yakkun" 

Yaku’s smile dropped. He knew that face. He knew that guilty look. A slow fear started to rise in his chest. 

“You're not going to invite me in?" His tone had changed, it was sharper. Trying to disguise the actual question. Kuroo's eyes met his, guilt on display.

“Yakkun, I -" behind Kuroo, Yaku could see an extra pair of shoes on the rack. A pair of shoes that were too small to fit Kuroo's. A pair of shoes that Yaku himself had bought for its owner for their wedding anniversary. He shook his head in denial. There was no way. Kuroo wouldn't do something like this. There was no way. 

Here's one advantage of being short, when people are blocking your way, you can find the tiniest opening and squeeze through. Yaku learned it the hard way.  

He knew what was coming. The facts were in front of him, clear as the day. He knew but he wanted to make sure. Wanted to see for himself. His heart was telling him otherwise, it was screaming for Yaku to turn back. To pretend that nothing was wrong, because it couldn't handle breaking one more time. 

He walked inside, just a door separating him from the face he was dreading to look at. Kuroo didn't stop him. 

There was no way. Kuroo wouldn't betray him like this. 

His mind, despite all the clear signs of it, kept telling him he would find the living room empty.

It wasn't empty. Kai sat at the couch like its own owner, legs perched on the coffee table. A smug smile on his face when he saw Yaku. “Hello Mori" he greeted, as if it was the most normal thing to do in this kind of situation.

“What the hell are you doing here" Yaku asked stupidly, Kuroo was still standing at the entrance with his head hung low in shame. 

“ Tetsuro wanted someone to talk to, " the response hit straight on Yaku's chest, stinging his heart. “And you've never really listened, Mori.”

"That's not true-” even before he could form a counter argument he was stopped.

“So you listened? Like a good friend? And didn't yell at him for doing wrong? Did you support him when he was down? Talked to him?” Each question felt like a punch in his gut. Kai’s face was filled with mirth. “You have never been a good friend. You're never there for people, like you weren't there for me. You just slap us with what's right and what's wrong before even listening to what we have to say-”

"This isn't about you-”

"See? This is what I'm talking about, you refuse to listen-” 

"Enough both of you” Kuroo yanked him back before he could make a lunge at his ex-husband.

Yaku looked up at Kuroo. Looked at him as he was looking for the first time. The warm bag of fish in his hands suddenly felt heavy, mocking Yaku for his stupid apology gesture.

He pushed the bag into Kuroo's chest, who's hands couldn't catch them in time. Yaku watched the bag fall, contents splattering on the ground. His legs walked him to the door.  Yaku couldn't feel guilty. In fact Yaku couldn't feel anything. No remorse. No betrayal. No hurt.

“Yakkun-” Kuroo turned towards him, voice urgent.

“What?” Yaku looked back at him, there was something empty inside of him. Like a void.

“Say something” Yaku looked at Kuroo, tears slowly blurring his vision. How could this bastard stand there and command Yaku to say something? 

“What do you want me to say? You already knew what he had done before you called him. You already knew how it would make me feel. You choose this yourself. What's left to say?” he walked out of the door, the void spreading out through his body. And he wanted to hide before it consumed him entirely.

___

Yamaguchi admits that he wanted to see his boss suffer. But now that it was actually happening, it left an unsettling burn in his stomach.

The bastard had finally shown his face after two weeks of hiding. The news had reached him before he could lay his eyes on the man. Lev had dragged Yamaguchi to the washrooms with an urgency that Tadashi didn't know his giant friend was capable of.

“Did you see him?” Lev asked after checking that they didn't have a third participant to join their conversation.

“Who?” Tadashi asked, already getting the hint of the person.

“Kuroo-san" Lev said, eyes wide in worry “I saw him in the lift. He didn't notice me. But Yamaguchi he looks horrible"

“Horrible?" A tinge of sour spread through his mouth.

“Like he hasn't slept for days. He looks sick." Lev hesitated a moment before delivering the last observation “he looked like he was going to cry"

It should've felt nice. It should've tasted like victory. It should've made Tadashi happy. But instead a thought popped in his head.

Why was this even affecting the bastard?

He was the one who bullied Tadashi. How was he the one trying not to cry?

Then worry followed. (Was he actually sick? Had Tadashi been too harsh? Why did he take two weeks off? Was he okay?) Which was quieted down by the thought of Tsukki and his I-told-you-so smirk telling him he was acting dumb again. 

“Why are you telling me this?" Tadashi asked, narrowing his eyes.

“I- I thought you would like to know" Lev didn't know what had transpired between Tadashi and their boss that day. He was just worried about Tadashi. 

“I don't. I appreciate whatever you're trying to do but I don't really care about him" Tadashi asserted, but the sour taste hadn't left him. 

Lev looked at him with his eyes furrowed “I don't understand you or Yaku-san. You two obviously worry but act like it's not bothering you."

“Yaku-san would be worried obviously. Kuroo-san is his friend” 

“Yeah but something happened between them. I don't know what exactly but Yaku-san went to Kuroo-san’s apartment. Since then Yaku-san has been cold. It looks like he's been crying as well but he denies it whenever I ask him”

“How do you know all this?”

“Does that matter? I thought you didn’t ‘care’” Lev looked at Tadashi with a frown.

" Wait- why are you getting angry?"

“I don't know. I'm just- I'm worried about all of you. And I'm trying to help the best I can. But Yaku-san has started to ignore me again and you're acting indifferent."

“Okay- I don't know what's happening with Yaku-san. Maybe something did happen but let's just give him some space-"

“No that's the worst idea-”

“Lev, listen to me. He was fine before, right? Maybe it's better for them, so let them handle it. If you try to intervene then maybe things might get worse.”

“But both of them look so sad, Yamaguchi. It makes me feel helpless"

Yamaguchi wondered how he ended up in this situation.

“It's not our place-" he tried to assert, trying his best to calm Lev “let's just give them some time alright?”

Well that's what he had said. But when he finally saw the bastard’s face he realized why Lev had been agitated.

Kuroo looked bad. Calling it bad was an understatement. Bad felt like a compliment. It felt like it had been ages since Kuroo had seen sleep. The messy bed hair was laying flat on the skull and eyes bloodshot. 

Kuroo didn't lift his head to acknowledge the team as they all sat down in the meeting room. Mai-san’s loud chatter had died down and they all sat in silence. Akaashi looked the most calm, reading through the report. Mai and Futakuchi kept stealing glances at each other, then peeking at their boss who sat with his head hung low. Lev was not looking at their boss, he was looking at Yamaguchi instead.

Tadashi, for his part, tried to act like Akaashi-san. As if nothing was wrong. And they were just waiting for Yaku-san to come and start the meeting.

Kuroo had not uttered a single word since all of them sat down, not even a single greeting. It was so unlike him that despite his best efforts, Yamaguchi could feel himself getting worried. Which increased tenfold when Yaku-san finally entered the meeting room.

If Kuroo looked bad, Yaku-san looked worse. It was clear that the department head had been crying recently. His eyes looked damp and swollen. And he would sniff softly, trying not to draw attention to it. Yaku-san also looked like he had not been sleeping. 

“Alright, let's start" Yaku-san’s voice sounded weak, and if you could strain your ears a little bit then you could hear the slight quiver in the voice. Kuroo had glanced at Yaku when the head sat down, but didn't say a word.

“Is this the bug report?" Yaku-san leafed through the entire report, lips turned down in focus.

“Yes Yaku-san" Akaashi-san suddenly sounded nervous.

“Why are there still so many open issues? Why are they not fixed yet?"

“Ah- Yaku-san we were in the middle of  development and major code fixes. We didn't get time to tackle them”

“Then why are we even having this meeting? Get them fixed first. I can't show this to the investors” The report was thrusted back to Akaashi-san.

"These are not major bugs. Nothing show stopping we can fix it in a week”

"Then do it and come back in a week. I won't approve until all of them are fixed”

" But Yaku-san-”

"No Keiji, this is not acceptable. Just because your lead was on vacation doesn't mean you could half ass the work. I gave you this responsibility for a reason”

“Yakkun” the bastard tried to interrupt. Yaku-san’s expression transformed into rage. He stared at Kuroo, eyes translating a message. Kuroo whispered “It is my fault. I should've been here to see this through”

Yaku-san was silent for several minutes, stretching the silence. Then in a blink of an eye he was out of seat and making his way to the door. “That is correct. It is your fault. Now get it done as quickly as possible."

The slam of the door and the stillness that settled after Yaku-san’s departure was too much for Yamaguchi to handle. The rest of his team, sans their boss, sprang up on their feet talking over each other to hide the awkwardness of the situation.

“Don't take this too seriously Akaashi, you know how he gets during this time. You did your best" Mai-san kept reassuring Akaashi-san who looked a little bit shaken.

Yamaguchi’s eyes were fixed on the Bastard. How the hurt had spread across his face when Yaku-san had replied back in a biting tone. How the head hung low in shame after that. Lev was not wrong in his worries. Something had happened between those two. And despite his statement, he couldn't follow his own order of staying away

 ____

Well technically he did stay away. He just accidentally caught a glimpse of the bastard making coffee in the pantry later that day. It's not his fault he suddenly got craving for a cup of coffee (just to keep it clear. Yes, he still hates coffee).

The bastard looked like a deer caught in headlights, eyes comically wide, when Yamaguchi entered. Kuroo was in the process of pouring the coffee in his mug but his hands paused in mid air.

“I should get going," the bastard said, and started to leave with the coffee kettle still in his hands.

“It's alright," Yamaguchi said softly. Memories of the wretched confession, still fresh in his mind. To lessen the awkwardness he rummaged through the pantry cupboards, trying to keep his hands busy.

Kuroo stared at Yamaguchi silently then went back to pouring the coffee back in his mug. The stupidity of the situation creeped up to Yamaguchi. Why was he even here?

“Did something happen?" He found himself asking, surprised at his own boldness “with Yaku-san? He looks sad” (and so do you, was left unsaid).

“I- I um” Yamaguchi glanced at his boss. Kuroo was staring at his coffee mug in silence, hesitation clear on his face. Yamaguchi flushed with embarrassment. Of course Kuroo wouldn't tell someone like Yamaguchi about it. Tsukki’s voice inside his head smirked.

Yamaguchi closed the cupboards with more force and turned around to leave before he could embarrass himself more “Leave it, you don't have to say anything." 

“I messed up!” The bastard replied in a hurry, as if trying to stop Yamaguchi from leaving. "I did something very stupid and mean”

Yamaguchi stopped on his tracks, an involuntary chuckle leaving his lips “guess I'm not the only one who you treat that way" when he turned back to look, Kuroo's eyes were downcast. If he looked closer he could see the tears try not to spill.

"I- I was hurt and in that moment I just wanted to inflict some pain back to him” Kuroo's voice trembled as he spoke "I- I don't know if you know this but Yaku's husband- we used to be friends before they got married. The three of us-"

Yamaguchi waited patiently for Kuroo to continue. The bastard took a few shallow breaths, trying to compose himself.

“Kai cheated on Yaku- I knew about it. The cheating. And I didn't tell Yaku.” Kuroo looked ashen as he continued “I messed up then. I messed up now when I decided to call Kai instead of Yaku. I messed up. I messed up with Yaku. I messed up with you.” Kuroo laughed, a self deprecating laugh. His hands came up to cover his eyes “How can all of my decisions be wrong? How did I end up like this?”

Yamaguchi did feel pity then. But it wasn't as satisfying as he had wished it to be. He felt sorry for Kuroo. Despite all the memories of the past flashing behind his eyes, Yamaguchi felt bad for Kuroo. The hand that Kuroo had used to cover his eyes did nothing to conceal the tears that raced down his cheeks. 

“Crying over your problems won't magically make them disappear,” Tadashi said. Kuroo looked up, eyes red and watery. 

“I said I'm sorry. To both of you. And I am sorry-”

“I know” Yamaguchi interrupted. He didn't know what Yaku was feeling but he could understand the hurt and betrayal “but you need to understand sorry is just a word. Sorry won't heal the betrayal Yaku-san felt. Sorry is just a start. You need to keep going”

“I'm not sure if he'll let me- he's not even looking at me” Kuroo wiped his tears slowly, ears crimson in embarrassment. 

“You can try. And if he doesn't forgive you then-” Yamaguchi paused. Then what? He didn't know the end of that sentence. Nothing his brain was providing was comforting enough “then you- then you accept it and move on” (he knows, okay? You don't have to tell him. He already knows he sucks at comforting people)

“Okay-” the bastard nodded, accepting his fate. With a loud sniff and a firm nod he walked out the pantry.

Yamaguchi smiled to himself. Tsukki could say whatever he wanted, Tadashi was fine with the decisions he made.

“Um-” when Tadashi looked up at the sound, Kuroo was peeping through the door. Cheeks flushed pink and eyes looking embarrassed “What you said about sorry is just a start. Does that- Is that applicable to you?”

“Maybe” Tadashi added a small smile with it. His heart skipped a beat. 

Maybe. Just maybe, despite Tsukki’s voice in head telling him not to. He could take a chance. 

Chapter Text

“I said I don't want to listen,” Yaku tried to force his apartment door shut, but his unwanted guest was not budging from his place. The 6-foot-long body pushed against the apartment door, making Yaku slide back and widening the gap between the door just enough that his intruder could pop his head inside. Yaku pressed his shoulders against the door, putting more effort into keeping the door from opening entirely, digging his heels into the tiled floor. “Kuroo, you're creating a scene!”

“I know! That's why you should invite me in.” Kuroo’s voice sounded strained with his own efforts of pushing the door wider; his foot was almost inside the apartment now “And-” Kuroo said with a little effort, and Yaku gave the door one more forceful shove, “-the chicken is getting cold.”

“I don't want your stupid chicken. Can you please? For the love of God? Leave?” Yaku said through his clenched teeth. He tried to put his entire weight on the door, but Kuroo was way stronger than Yaku. It was times like these that Yaku hated being this small. Well, no, scratch that, he has always hated being small.

“NO!  Not until you let me in. I want to talk this out,” Half of Kuroo’s body was through the door, his eyes strangely sincere. For a split second, Yaku wondered if he could close the door with enough force that it would split Kuroo into two.

“Kuroo, I said- stop pushing- I said I don't want to talk.” It was getting much harder for Yaku to talk as he pushed at the door. His calves were straining with all the weight, and Kuroo’s own force was slowly making Yaku slide back (Maybe when Moniwa had called him to join the neighborhood volleyball team, Yaku should’ve said yes. He desperately needed some exercise). 

“I can do this all night if I have to, Yakkun. I won't leave until we talk.” 

Yaku’s arms had started to protest, threatening to fall off his torso if the torture didn't stop immediately. Yaku made his decision. 

“Fine!” Yaku said in anger, removing all his weight from the door. Kuroo, with the resistance gone, crashed through the door and fell into Yaku’s pile of shoes with a grunt. 

“Ow! Yakkun! That was rude- I almost crushed the food.” Kuroo stood up, dusting his shirt; his tie had somehow gotten looped around his neck. Kuroo lifted the takeout bag in front of Yaku’s face. With the mouth-watering smell wafting through the bag, Morisuke could tell it was from his favourite place right across the town. 

“Kuroo-” Yaku sighed in defeat. It was now clear that he could no longer avoid this situation. Yaku could not digest the hopeful look the rooster-head was giving me. “What do you want? If you want to apologize-”

“No, I don’t want to apologize- no, I do- wait no!” Kuroo stumbled over his own words, looking relieved that Yaku was actually listening. With a big sigh, Kuroo resumed, “I do want to apologize, but I want to hear you talk as well. I want you to yell at me like you used to when I fucked up things. I want to tell my side of the story. And I want you to listen. I want us to work this thing out.”

“Kuroo-” Yaku replied, rubbing his temple with his fingers, a low ripple of pain forming at the back of his head. “I'm not the slightest bit interested in doing any of that. So please- I'm asking very nicely- please leave.”

“I'm not leaving until we sort this out.” Kuroo looked at him, determined. He turned to walk inside his apartment, brushing past a very irritated Yaku. Despite the situation, a slow panic rose inside Yaku as the realization dawned on him at what Kuroo was going to find inside. He followed the rooster head quickly.

His apartment looked empty. Suspiciously empty. Yaku looked at his closed bedroom door and sighed internally. Temporary relief graced his chest. Kuroo stood in the middle of the room, eye trained on Yaku; if there was any hint of suspicion, he didn’t let on.

“Fine, let's get this over with.” He sat on the couch, blocking the view to the door and forcing Kuroo to sit directly opposite him. “Go ahead then. Say what you want to say.” Yaku crossed his arms with no intention of actually listening to Kuroo’s explanation. 

“I messed up” was the first thing that was uttered. Not an apology. 

“Yeah, I already know that-” Yaku cut in, irritated. Agreeing to do this was a mistake. Yaku was not ready to forgive Kuroo. 

Kuroo interrupted him, talking quickly this time, “When I told you about Tadashi- you got so mad. And you have all the rights to be. You just didn't hear my perspective. I regretted doing all of that. I still do- and you kept yelling at me, and I just wanted someone to listen. For once, just listen-”

All of sudden, all of Yaku’s anger felt wrong. Insecurity crept in. Past words of his ex-husband started haunting his thoughts. “So Kai was right then. I am a bad friend,” Yaku tried to sound firm, frowning at the indication. Behind him, he could feel something moving in his bedroom; the voice was so slow that he doubted Kuroo could hear it too. 

“No! Never!- You have never been a bad friend. Actually-” a blush was evident on Tetsuro’s face when he confessed shyly, “If I'm being honest, you've been a better friend than Kai.” There would’ve been a time when Yaku would have swelled with pride with that statement. Now it felt like a stab instead. 

“But you were not listening then. I just needed someone, and you weren't there. Kenma-” with the mention of the name, Kuroo let out a defeated sigh “he's known since high school, and he was definitely not going to listen. I had no one else, Yakkun. I was- I was desperate, and I know I did wrong. And Kai was my friend too. Before he fucked up.”

Yaku kept silent. Counter arguments formed in his mind, insults and curses ready to be hurled at Kuroo. But all of them dissolved when they reached his lips. Kuroo wanted him to listen (And even though Kuroo was speaking nothing but nonsense at this point), he could at least give his best friend that.

“I knew him before I knew you. And I would've never thought he would do something like that.” Kuroo sighed. The silence stretched between them. Yaku could hear the faint sound of someone moving inside his bedroom again. But before he could panic and maybe make an excuse to go into his bedroom, Kuroo continued, “When I found out-you know about- about the cheating. I was going to come straight to you, but Kai said he would tell you himself. Kept saying how guilty he felt and wanted to come clean. And- And I believed him. But he never told you, and it dragged on for months. I wanted to tell you, Yakkun- every time I saw you- that shame was eating me from inside. How I was hiding this from you. But it was my mistake in believing he would tell you- just that he- Kai was my friend too- I trusted him too much.” Kuroo’s head fell into his hands, fingers grabbing a fistful of raven hair. “I can do anything- I'll beg on my knees if you want to”

“It's not about the apology, Tetsuro,” Yaku whispered, because he was afraid that if he let his voice out, he would reveal his vulnerability in the open. “Try to see it from my perspective. My husband was cheating on me, and my own best friend knew all about it. And didn't even think to tell me once. Then, after the divorce, you tell me that you were never going to contact him- you promised me Kuroo- and then I find him in your apartment. You have never been on my side. It had always been Kai-”

“I was calling you! When this thing with Tadashi happened! I kept calling and calling, and you were not picking up my calls. Kai-” Kuroo took a deep breath, as if preparing for the yelling. “I had blocked him. But he changed his number and has been trying to contact me since last month. I know- I know I should've blocked the number immediately. But that day he called at the right time and-”

“Yeah, I get it!” Yaku snapped, teeth clenched shut in rage. Events of that day flashing through his mind, “I was giving you time, Kuroo! That’s what I always do- when we fight- God Kuroo, you're making it sound like it's my fault!”

“No! Oh God, that was never my intention. It was not your fault. Ever. Not with Kai and not with me. I'm just saying maybe- just maybe- now please don't get mad- but you’ve always been so hard on me. I knew I was wrong before I told you about it. I was already drowning in guilt, and you just- you kept yelling at me, and it made it worse. And I was hurt.” Panic set in his wide eyes. Kuroo hurried to cover up before Yaku took it the wrong way, “But it was not your fault, okay? Never! Ever! I- I did the wrong thing. I-” Kuroo covered his face in frustration, groaning into his palms. “I don't know what I'm saying. I just don’t want to lose you.” Kuroo said in defeat, voice muffled behind his hands. “I don’t think I can survive losing our friendship. You have always been there to support me. And I have been nothing but an asshole to you. And I want to repent. I want you to punish me. Maybe hit me till I pass out- but I just don’t want to lose you, Mori.”  

Yaku allowed the little smile to escape. The heaviness that had been sitting on his chest felt just a fraction lighter. “Me neither. You've been a great friend to me Kuroo-” he paused before adding “well before all this.” 

Kuroo looked up. Yaku could see the mix of desperation and sincerity swirling in his best friend’s face. “I am so sorry, Yakkun. For all the pain I have caused you. And I will keep apologizing till eternity if I have to, if there is any slight chance of you forgiving me. I'm not saying you have to do it now, but do you think you can forgive me? In the future?”

Yaku leaned back to think. Yaku didn’t want to lose Kuroo. After Kai, Kuroo was the one who picked up all his broken pieces. Kuroo was the one who would come visit him in his lonely and empty apartment. Kuroo had been a good friend to Yaku. They fought a lot, but that was what Yaku loved about Kuroo. How Yaku could be his unfiltered self around him and not feel judged. How Kuroo was brave enough to argue with Yaku and never cowered when Yaku raised his voice at him. 

“Maybe,” Yaku smiled. Kuroo visibly relaxed at the sight of the smile, stiff shoulders deflating. Yaku might’ve imagined the tears pooling in the rooster head’s eyes.

“I think that is my favorite word now.” A grin broke on Kuroo’s face, voice drowning with relief. They both sat in silence, but it felt comfortable. Like they were still having a conversation, in the presence of silence this time.

“So- um do you want me to reheat the food?” Kuroo asked, gesturing to the take-out bag sitting between them at the coffee table. Yaku’s thoughts went back to the closed bedroom door and what was hidden behind it. Kuroo’s eyes looked over his shoulder, staring right at the bedroom door, as if he had read Yaku’s mind, hazel eyes came back to look at him. “Or do you want to tell me why you have one of your employees in your bedroom?”

“What-!? How did you know!?” Yaku asked in surprise; he was so sure the sounds had not reached Kuroo.

“I can see the shadow from the gap at the bottom,” Kuroo explained, and then hesitated before adding, with a sheepish smile, “and the shoes at the front door are way too big for you.”

Yaku sighed. To be honest, he was expecting this to happen. There was no way someone as energetic as Lev could stay hidden for this long (He had his bets on Lev revealing himself in the first couple of seconds). “Lev!” He called out, “You can come out now, it’s fine.”

The bedroom door opened slowly. Yaku, instead of turning around, watched Kuroo’s eyes trace the Lev, eyebrows rising in amusement. Lev dragged his feet even more slowly. Yaku had half a mind to reprimand his giant of a boyfriend for acting like this. Kuroo had turned up so unexpectedly (well, so had Lev, but Lev’s arrival was met with considerably more enthusiasm), and in panic, Yaku had shoved Lev into his bedroom, shutting the door on Lev’s face with a threat. When Lev finally came into Yaku’s view, the silver blonde looked embarrased, ears pink.

“Sorry, Yaku-san, I tried to stay as quiet as possible. It’s just that I thought Kuroo-san had left because no one was saying anything. I'm sorry I had promised I would stay inside, but-” Yaku smiled to himself at how adorable Lev looked with his lips turned down in a pout. 

“It's alright, Lev. I'm not mad,” Lev looked flushed at Yaku’s response, the pink now covering his entire face, making Yaku smile harder. Lev had been a comforting presence since the past week (Yaku wouldn't admit it to anyone). The genuine concern and constant questions of ‘are you okay, Yaku-san?’ kept Yaku’s mind busy. And Kai had never been this overindulgent. Yaku was enjoying this side of himself.

“Hey, how come he gets forgiven so easily?” Kuroo teased.

Yaku turned back to look at Kuroo, raising his eyebrows at the audacity and scoffed, “He's not the one who called my ex-husband to his apartment.” Yaku snapped, reminding Kuroo that he was not yet forgiven. The silence was Kuroo’s way of telling he understood the implication.

“Yakkun- I'm sorry. I got ahead of myself,” Kuroo apologized. Yaku thought to himself, he was going to have so much fun torturing Kuroo. His smile returned to his face at the thought. 

He could feel the couch dip beside him as Lev sat closer to him, leaning over the Yaku. He whispered, “Can I take the chicken, Yaku-san? I’m sorry, I’m really hungry.” his breath tickled over Yaku’s neck, and he found himself laughing at the blonde's attempt to be discreet. 

“Yes, Lev. You can take it.” Yaku looked at Kuroo, heart a lot lighter. “Did you bring enough for three? Or shall I order some fish?”

___

Tsukki was not talking to Tadashi. Mostly because the blonde was busy now that the pro league had started. But Tadashi was sure his best friend was a little mad at him. Who wouldn't be? If you tell your best friend not to do something, and your best friend goes ahead and does it anyway. Tadashi would be mad, too.

But Kei didn't really understand Tadashi’s reasoning. Kei expressed his love differently. And unlike Tadashi, Kei had a huge pile of dignity and ego. Kei couldn’t handle being disrespected or looked down upon. That was one of the reasons why Tadashi and Kei were such good friends. 

Tadashi had no regrets about his decisions; he could deal with the consequences. And things with Kuroo had settled into a healthy agreement. His boss had started to look a bit more normal. There was still some tension between Yaku and the bastard, however. Yamaguchi would catch Yaku-san deep in thought, eyes displaying sorrow Yamaguchi was very familiar with, but before Tadashi could even process the change, the department head would school his expressions. Tadashi wanted to ask him if everything was okay, but he could never muster enough courage. During these times, Tadashi envied Lev a lot, who didn’t care about professionalism or societal norms and would ask Yaku if he was okay in front of the whole team.

There was one thing, however, that Yamaguchi had not expected. Kuroo's sudden interest in Lev. He had found Lev and the Bastard waiting for the elevator when he came to the office one morning.

“Now, tell me how long this has been going on?” Kuroo was asking, unaware of Tadashi behind them. To Tadashi, this felt like an interrogation. 

“I'm not sure what you're talking about, Kuroo-san,” came the reply, but despite the answer,  anyone could tell Lev was lying (Yamaguchi wonders why Lev even bothers with lying. He’s so bad at it). 

“No- but he would've told me- oh Tadashi! When did you come here?” The extreme surprise to see Tadashi aroused even more suspicion. Tadashi wondered who they were talking about (even though he had a slight idea who it could be).

“How much did you hear?” Lev asked directly, but the elevator chose that moment to open its doors. And the topic was forgotten. 

It was the morning after Yaku-san finally came back to the office when the most surprising and unexpected changes started happening.

“Everyone, get your coffee,” Mai-san raised both her hands to show the cup holders. “Kuroo-san brought enough for everyone. A little treat for finishing the presentations.” The team around him hummed in joy, each one of them grabbing a cup from Mai-san.

“Umm-” Yamaguchi looked at the rest of the team as they got up from their seats. A wave of helplessness passed through him. Tsukki’s voice snorted in his head. So nothing changed. The smell of coffee reached his nose, and the box of his memories opened again.

“Oh, here Tadashi-” Mai-san picked a cup, a little different from the rest. “He got you Matcha

His mouth turned into a big ‘O’ in surprise. His fingers tingled with the warm cup in his hands, and a single string of warmth wrapped around his chest. With a smile, he took his first sip.

___

He had followed Akaashi-san to the pantry, in the guise of getting a snack (he just wanted a few minutes of peace from all the chattering). If you asked him who he liked the most in his team, he would say Akaashi-san without hesitation (you better not tell this to Lev). 

Akaashi-san was somewhat similar to Tadashi. He kept to himself, only talking when asked something. And his work was the most precise among everyone in the department, Yaku-san had said so himself. And despite having heaps of work, he never said no to helping Tadashi. 

But the main reason he liked Akaashi-san was that he never asked those grilling questions like Mai-san or Futakuchi-san did. Has something happened with you and Kuroo? Yamaguchi, why do you stare at our boss so much? Do you think you have a crush on him? It felt like the suffocating city air where every breath he took felt like choking. Akaashi-san, on the other hand, was a fresh summer breeze from the countryside. 

“Oh, Keiji, Tadashi,” They both froze at the entrance, noticing their boss making coffee. “Slacking off at work?” Tadashi tensed, reminders of his first day in the company flashing in his mind. But when he looked at the Bastard’s face, there was no malice but a teasing grin.

Akaashi-san snorted, walking past Kuroo to rummage through the shelves. “Aren't you? Shouldn't you be making reports?”

Tadashi stood at the entrance, watching his boss pout and whine back in answer, “I'm not slacking. I just- just came for a break- oh, alright! just don't tell Yaku,” finally admitting when he saw Akaashi-san glaring. Tadashi smiled at the interaction. He could finally see why his teammates never complained about Kuroo.

The soft jingle of Akaashi-san's phone broke Yamaguchi’s train of thought. A blush spread across Akaashi-san’s face as he mumbled a shy “Excuse me. Need to take this” and rushed out of the room, leaving a trail of awkward silence behind him. 

Tadashi tried to look everywhere but the one place. But hazel orbs caught his eyes. Kuroo gave him a small smile and continued to stir his coffee. Strangely enough, Tadashi didn't feel the urge to run away. Even with the awkwardness, they both seem comfortable with each other's presence. Tadashi's eyes travel down to the comical mustard yellow tie with MHA characters dotting it. 

A snort escaped his lips as he pointed at the tie. “Cute tie.” (It wasn't really that cute, mostly hideous). Seeing it sit on top of a plain white shirt made his boss look less daunting. 

“Really? Thanks!” A grin stretched the bastard's cheeks, making Tadashi’s heart race faster (it was a scientific thing, okay? You don't have to judge him!). “I got it online. I can share the website link if you're interested.” The acute enthusiasm on Kuroo’s face made Tadashi chuckle. “No, thank you! I don't think I'll be wearing something that ridiculous,” he giggled, imagining the collection of ridiculous ties his boss owned. 

“But you said it was cute!” Even though it was not evident on Kuroo's face, Tadashi could hear the pout in his voice. Making him smile even more. 

“It is cute,” they stared at each other for a moment, smiles on both of their faces, “but it's also ridiculous. I can never understand how you could wear stuff like this? It makes you look like an otaku.”

Kuroo looked at Tadashi, stirring his coffee slowly. “Tadashi,” The tone was dialed to a more somber note, making Tadashi's smile drop. “I'm sorry about how I made fun of you for being an otaku back in school.”

Old memories filled his senses once again. The mocking smile, the mean glint, the shame that paralyzed him. But before he could spiral down to self-loathing, Kuroo continued. “I actually started watching anime to impress you.” Kuroo lowered his face in an attempt to hide the pink hue of his cheeks, but Tadashi had already caught sight of it. Maybe, he thought, the owner was a tad bit cuter than the tie. 

“I know,” Kuroo interrupted when Tadashi opened his mouth. “An apology won't change anything. But I am trying to change myself. I'm trying my best to change- If you could-” Kuroo didn't try to hide his blush this time, a shy smile on his lips “if you could wait- I promise I would be a better person.”

Tadashi smiled in reply, cheeks hurting with the long stretch, “Okay.”