Work Text:
Yusei could see the headlines now: Fortune Developer Canned Over Programing Error.
His boss had already taken a huge chance on hiring him fulltime after his initial success -- considering he didn't have any actual credentials whatsoever to his name, not so much as a high school diploma -- and he really, really did not want the man to have any regrets. If he didn't fix this before someone else became aware of it, he had the feeling the man would have many regrets.
Okay, so maybe he was blowing this out of proportion a bit. The problem wasn't that big of a deal and it would take ten minutes tops to change the code. But anxiety wasn't so easily swayed, and anxiety told him he was going to be in huge trouble because even entry-level interns probably wouldn't make a mistake like this. So he needed to fix it. And fast. Before anyone noticed.
The real problem wasn't the code, unfortunately; no, that was the fact that his focus had been shot for days so instead of fixing the error, he was staring up at the ceiling, berating himself instead. Coding was easy; he could do this in his sleep. Except that right now he couldn't seem to force himself to start.
It was an endless cycle: you need to fix this, this is easy, just do it, why aren't you doing it, you idiot, how are you still employed here, just fix it already, it's easy, just do it, why aren't --.
Yugi had told him he should take a vacation. You're burnt out. It happens to the best of us. Yusei wished it was that easy, but he knew better.
Some days he really wished he could just be normal. A normal person, with a normal brain, doing a normal job so that maybe whenever he started to feel comfortable with his job and like he was actually good at it, the tiniest problem wouldn't feel like a catastrophic setback to his career. But it was pointless to think like that; he had never been normal -- couldn't be, because his brain was wired differently, and there was nothing he could do about it.
He was just so tired of being.
(On the worst days, he almost wished Sherry would have been right, that Z-ONE hadn't taken his place, and he hated that he thought like that, but he didn't know what to do about it either.)
A knock sounded on the doorframe of his office, and he glanced over to see one of the office assistants sticking his head in the door. "We were just gonna order lunch. You want anything?"
Yusei glanced at the time. 11:41 already. "Yeah, sure."
"I'll put in your usual."
"Thanks."
The assistant hesitated. "Hey, are you...okay? You look a little out of it."
Crap. He had no idea what his face was doing without his permission but it needed to stop doing it. He forced what he hoped was an acceptable smile. "Yeah, just tired, I guess."
"Yeah, okay. I'll let you know when the food's here."
He ducked back out and Yusei was left on his own once again. He stared at the code open on his computer for a moment before digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.
"Get it together already."
He could break down later; right now he had a job to do.