Chapter Text
One stroke to the right, one to the left. A graceful stretch.
More stroking, more stretches and bends to start the day in good shape. Javi knows this warm-up by heart, but what is special about today is that about 10 kids are following Yuzu, and Javi wishes he was on the other side of the ocean.
Yuzu. Toronto.
Two weeks ago, Yuzu could have elaborated further than just asking what Javi's plans were this Spring, had Javi known-
No. He knows he wouldn't have cancelled his plans with his friends, this trip too was an important event that had been planned long beforehand.
Despite the frustration, how can he not smile at the sweetest video Tracy posted? It's a heartwarming sight Javi hadn't realised he had missed this bad until now.
Corey's pictures only make him miss TCC even harder. It's so good to see Yuzu having fun like a normal guy. So good to see him receive all the appreciation and affection he deserves.
***
It has been 9 months already since Yuzu retired from competing, and so much has been going on in both their lives that Javi doesn’t have the heart to message him 'what about your promise that we'd go to Canada together?'
Javi can't say he hasn’t also had many other things on his mind: his documentary and his friends' wedding, among others. He keeps enjoying his current holiday because this is a moment he holds close to his heart too.
"I thought you'd come with your girlfriend," Adrian says one evening over beers.
Girlfriend? Javi hasn't thought of that concept for a long time. He's been alone for months by now and contrary to previous years, he hasn't felt like there was a void to fill. It's not that opportunities with admirable people haven’t showed up, Javi just hasn't been feeling it.
"Am I not enough for you?" Javi replies jokingly, not really in the mood to discuss his romantic life.
"Maybe I should ask you that, you kept smiling like an idiot at your phone last night."
Javi laughs it off. "That was not a girlfriend. Just Yuzu being back in Toronto with our coaches."
"Oh, just Yuzu. OK." Adrian is rolling his eyes and Javi decides to ignore it. Adrian is a wonderful friend, there are just some things he can't understand.
The next day, he's just finished his evening shower when he spots his phonescreen lighting up. When he sees that it's a video call from Tracy, he rushes to pull the hotel's bathroom over his shoulders.
"Hi Tracy! Wait, oh my God. Hi everyone!"
"Hi Javiii!" Yuzu giggles and Javi has eyes only for him, shocked. He barely registers Brian and Tracy's voices until he's had the time to process what he's seeing.
"It's so good to see you!" he finally replies. "Just give me a second." Javi steps out of the bathroom and sits on his bed to no longer have his voice echoing all over the place. Tracy, Brian and Yuzu are in TCC's office that Javi knows so well. "Are you calling me to scold me for going to bed too late?"
"You know this isn’t only a room for scolding, Javi," Brian says.
"We just wanted to say hi," Tracy adds. "We're thinking of you. I still want to have both you and Yuzu over for dinner one day."
They smile at each other fondly, and this time Javi makes sure to address them all.
"Tell me about what you've been up to, I saw the video you posted, Tracy. So... nice."
Javi can't believe he'd been on the verge of saying so cute. Jesus, what's wrong with him?
Despite how hard his heart is thumping in his chest, he makes it through the call without making it too obvious. Seeing them reunited in a place that is so familiar to him is making him nostalgic, that must be why he's feeling this unexpected elation. It's like witnessing a family reunion. One he would have very much liked to be a part of.
They talk about TCC, about Javi's holiday.
When the conversation lulls, Javi bites his lip, then grins when he notices Yuzu doing the same thing. No slumped shoulders this time, Yuzu looks good. He's in a happy place and it shows.
"I miss you," Javi confesses before he can hold it back.
"We miss you too," Brian says but Javi wishes Yuzu would say something.
It barely takes a couple of seconds for his wish to be granted.
"I hope we can plan something together in Toronto soon. I'm sorry Javi, I just really needed to come now." Javi notices the way Tracy is gently squeezing Yuzu's shoulder and wonders if they have talked about him.
"Oh, don’t be sorry. It's OK," he quickly replies, wanting to wipe the guilt off Yuzu's face right away.
Yuzu briefly looks up at the ceiling, then shrugs, as if the right words of what he wants to convey aren't coming to him. Javi can't help it, the sight makes his face crinkle up in a smile. It's been a while since he last saw Yuzu struggle like this.
"I'll make sure both of you come here," Tracy says, her hand still on Yuzu's shoulder. At least that seems enough for Yuzu to go back to only displaying warm feelings and when their eyes meet, Javi feels his skin tingling.
"Ok Javi, we won't keep you up much longer, you have a busy day tomorrow. Have fun and see you soon!" Brian says.
"Good night Javi," Tracy says. "Love you!"
Yuzu just waves, his eyes scrunched.
"Love you too, bye," Javi says and hangs up without further ado, suddenly a bit nervous.
He exhales, drops his phone and lets himself fall back on the bed. Why the nerves? Tracy and Brian are family, it's no big deal to speak to them like this.
Once his pulse has evened out, he pulls himself back to his feet to put on his pyjamas. Focussing on buttoning them up helps him keep any further thoughts at bay. He pours himself a glass of water, then goes back to bed.
What an evening. So many emotions in so little time. The truth is, he had missed seeing Brian, Tracy and Yuzu together, and seeing them within the walls of TCC, a place which holds so many memories, had certainly amplified that.
Yuzu's shrug and his goodbye wave come back to the forefront of his mind.
Ah, what a sweet man.
Sleep finally starts to finds its way to Javi in the middle of fond thoughts.
I want to hug him.
I want to hold him.
No-one needs to know that as his conscience leaves him, he's picturing himself nuzzling Yuzu's temple.
He's just a cuddly man, that's the way it is. And Yuzu likes to be held.
Deserves to be held.
"Love you too, bye."
Javi makes himself focus on the thought of hugs for now.
Just hugs.
For someone who will never be just Yuzu.