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Steve was so tired.
He hadn't slept right in a week and two days. Not that he was actively counting or anything. That would be weird.
Steve was really weird these days. Maybe that's why he couldn't seem to keep anyone around.
Or why Nancy wouldn't answer his calls.
"Moving in with you was a mistake." She had said. Like it was so easy, like the words could just slip from her lips with such a serpentine ease.
Steve hadn't even cried. He'd known it was coming, honestly. He wasn't really sure what the catalyst had been. Maybe it was Johnathan, that guy Nancy worked with at the county clerks office. They seemed too friendly. Maybe he was projecting.
Or it could have been the searches she'd found on his phone. They weren't even for porn, shockingly. Just....stuff about maybe being bi. Maybe being interested in men.
She'd thrown that one in his face, just a bit.
"How am I supposed to be with you, if you don't even know what you want?" And that had stung. Almost as much as that time his dad had found him cozying up to a local boy when they were on vacation in Hawaii. He'd physically pulled Steve into their hotel room, arm twisted behind his back until it felt like it might pop out of the socket.
He didn't get to see the boy again, couldn't even remember his name now.
He was 25 years old and hadn't even kissed another man.
His girlfriend just dumped him for some unknown reason and now he felt like he couldn't even take care of himself. Not that he was forcing Nancy to do things for him before, no.
Steve was always more likely to pack lunches for her, buy her small trinkets and books he knew she'd love. It'd backfired too, in its own way. She claimed he wanted to buy her love and she hadn't said it but he could tell she was thinking it: Rich little boy Steve Harrington, buying everyone's affection because he can't stand to be alone.
She'd said he had too much love to give, too much for her to take. He was pretty sure that meant he was clingy.
Anyway, a week and two days. Since Nancy packed up boxes and bags and left him alone in their two bedroom apartment.
His parents had found out, of course. When did they not find out about his personal life? The lecture he got was unfathomable, obnoxious to a new degree. As if he'd been the one to dump Nancy and not the other way around.
He was forever grateful that they had no more say over his life. He made good money now as a real estate agent. A strange job choice for him, he knew. But he was young and charismatic and moms shopping for family homes fucking loved him. So he did good. And he didn't have to deal with his parents breathing down his neck, wishing he'd become a doctor or a lawyer. Knowing Steve would never be smart enough for anything like that.
He'd also been given his trust fund as a graduation present, with a strong warning to not spend it all. He didn't, of course. Because the glitz of fancy things had worn off for him a long time ago.
He was less preppy Steve these days and more….something else.
Nancy told him he dressed too much like a hipster now. Tight jeans with quirky belts and striped shirts. He'd been excited once, when he bought suspenders, only for her to openly laugh at them. So he'd shoved them to the back of his underwear drawer and avoided them ever since.
Still, despite all the flaws in their relationship, Steve missed her sorely. He missed her crazy hair in the morning, the way she knew how to make his coffee. The look in her eyes when he could make her laugh.
Maybe he was just bad at being alone.
He knew he was bad at being alone.
So he decided to do something about it. Something that he should have done a long time ago.
—
Robin was the one who recommended the app.
He wasn't that tech savvy, barely used his Instagram or Facebook accounts. It wasn't even his intention to seem cool or anything, he was just bad at social media. A fact that Dustin constantly ribbed him for.
So he had come to Robin in his time of need, knowing she would have some info for him. Knowing she wouldn't judge him for his curiosity.
"Should I just download grindr?" He had asked, to Robins horror and delight.
"Whoa there buddy, wanna tell me something important?" Steve rolled his eyes as she stared at him across his kitchen counter. No, he didn't want to tell her 'something important'.
"I just need something new. I need to....explore myself? That sounds fucking stupid, Jesus- I just want to see, you know? What it's like."
"What it's like to sleep with a man?"
"Yes? Maybe? I...yeah, I wanna find out."
Robin had this look on her face. The one she got when she was considering her words.
"I think...that's a great idea. Just maybe not Grindr?"
Steve furrowed his brow in confusion. "Why not Grindr? What's wrong with Grindr?" He asked.
"It's just that...don't take this the wrong way, Steve. You have baby bottom written all over you. They'd eat you up and spit you out and like, not in the fun way."
Baby bottom was pretty insulting, all things considered. He chose to ignore that one.
He scrubbed a hand down his face, trying to hide the derision he was feeling toward his best friend. Frustration welled up into his throat but he ignored it. Robin was just trying to help.
"Maybe I want that? I don't know. I don't know what I want."
Robin considered him for a moment.
"Why don't we try a more dating oriented app? Less hookup? I don't wanna see you get hurt, Steve. Plus you can always put in your bio that you aren't looking for a relationship. Get the same benefits with a little less trouble, you know.”
He knew he was going to agree with Robin, despite how much he wanted to argue. It was the smart thing to do and really, Robin was almost always right.
—
That's how he ended up with an awkward tinder account.
Robin had helped him make it, thank god. That didn't stop it from being a bit weird. Plus she'd asked him like twenty time if he was sure he wanted to start seeing people so soon after the break up. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he and Nancy had been broken up far longer than either of them wanted to accept.
She'd chosen a photo of him from last Halloween for his profile photo, clad in a stupid little sailor outfit. He'd looked good, he knew that. Robin had dressed up with him for their little get together with all the kids. Nancy wasn't a big costume fan, so it had worked out in the end.
She said the photo was "practically catnip for Steve's type of man" and he wasn't even sure what that meant. He didn't have a type. He'd never even given himself any leeway to figure out what his type would be.
He'd simply rolled his eyes and listened though. He only had two other photos on there. One of him holding a puppy and smiling, a photo Robin had taken at Mikes house when he got a new dog a few months ago. He looked happy, she said. And it was wholesome, too.
He tried to fight her on the last one but she wouldn't listen. She said it was funny, it showed his sense of humor. It was him laying spread eagle on Robins bedroom floor, twizzlers up his nose. He was pretty sure the photo was the opposite of catnip or whatever. It was likely man repellent. Steve listened anyway, ever the faithful friend.
His bio read, "25, 5'10. I sell houses, not looking for spouses. Just shopping around."
He was sure the bio was maybe a little too slutty. Robin reassured him that it was funny and simple enough to gain some attention.
It definitely got him some attention.
It helped that they lived in a big city, he supposed. He just hadn't expected the veritable flood of matches, was all. He'd put that he was bi but only seeking men, so he figured he wouldn't garner too much attention.
He was wrong.
He didn't swipe on every single guy because...ew. But there was a few cute ones. A real variety of men, actually.
But once he matched with a few of them, he realized that they were in fact, not winners. Not even close to being winners.
They sent him some of the dumbest shit and suddenly Steve could understand with clarity why everyone was always so annoyed with men all the time.
Why did they all have to be so fucking horny? Where was the charisma, the charm? Maybe he was asking for too much.
Or maybe he just didn't want to receive shit like, "Hey there, wanna come sit on my face? You can ride for free." With zero preamble.
It got old after like, three days. Just stupid pickup lines and thinly veiled attempts to get him to go to a parking lot somewhere seedy. And like...that was fine, if people wanted to do that. But Steve had downloaded tinder, at Robins insistence, to avoid exactly that.
He didn't want to date, really. But he still wanted to be wooed, maybe. Maybe he just wanted someone fucking normal to talk to.
It happened while he was brushing his teeth, getting ready for an early house showing in the middle of the city. He was excited for this one, the payout would be good.
In is high spirits, he'd decided to open the app and see what horrid messages he'd received that could ruin his day.
He only had one new one, thank god.
It was a guy he hadn't remembered matching with, actually. A dude named Eddie, who frankly looked like he belonged in another decade. He was 27, with long black fringed hair. He wore skinny jeans and band shirts. Bracelets bracketed his wrists and his arms were absolutely covered in tattoos.
It was an odd mix of 80s metalhead and modern rocker.
Steve wasn't sure why he was into it. Maybe it was the combat boots.
Eddie: Do you see many sirens when you're out on the sea, Sailor Steve?
Steve huffed a laugh around his toothbrush, pulling out to spit in the sink.
Steve: wouldn't I be dead if I'd seen one, Rocker Eddie?
He sat his phone down, figuring he probably would immediately get a reply, and started in on his mountain of hair. He was only about a minute into his routine when it chimed with a notification.
Eddie: I feel like that's a sarcastic nickname. My culture isn't a costume, Steve.
And okay. He did laugh at that one. He couldn't help but smile, even as he hurried to get ready. He needed to call an Uber or he'd be late as hell.
Steve: sorry, sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. You look good, by the way. I like the boots.
Which was a dumb thing to say, he was realizing. But it couldn't be helped, he'd already sent it.
He didn't check his phone again until he was safely inside his Uber, being driven to his showing with just enough time to spare.
Eddie: oh those old things? Those are my shit kicker 5000s
Steve rolled his eyes, feeling oddly fond of some random guy online. He was funny. That's all it was.
Steve: what were your 3000s like?
Eddie; wouldn't you like to know? I only show my boot collection to very good boys.
And okay. Wow. Steve's face went a little hot at that. He knew the guy was joking, just fucking around with him. He had no idea what that type of praise did to Steve. The kind of praise he very rarely got.
Steve: why are you assuming I'm not good?
He was flirting, he knew that. He couldn't help himself, really. Eddie was just making it so easy, so natural.
Eddie: you're right, your photos make you look like a good little Christian boy. That’s why I’m making assumptions.
Steve's nose wrinkled up at that and he rushed to correct that assessment.
Steve: definitely not religious. And I can't help that I have a baby face, that's not my fault.
Eddie: yeah but you did choose to make your profile pic maybe one of the most alluring photos I've ever seen in my life
Steve felt his face grow ever hotter. He had to be fucking with him. He had to be.
The Uber pulled up to their destination and Steve sighed mournfully at the lose of banter, pocketing his phone as he went inside to do his job.
—
The walkthrough had gone great and by the end of the viewing, he had a very interested client on his hands. The deal would be finalized by the end of the week and Steve saw that as reason to celebrate.
His celebration included his very own bottle of wine and Chinese takeout. It was a bit lonely, coming back to an apartment with good news that he couldn't share with anyone. But. It would be fine.
He settled down to eat, turning on an episode of Greys as he sipped at his wine, before he remembered he hadn't replied to Eddie.
Steve: sorry! I had a house viewing today. Just got home. And I don't think I'm particularly alluring in my dumb little costume, my friend told me I should use that photo. She's a little eccentric.
He was shocked to get a reply a few moments later.
Eddie: don't sweat it, sweetheart
Steve had a hard time swallowing his food, hesitantly setting his chopsticks down.
Eddie: I should send her a gift basket, shouldn't I? Tell her thank you for blessing my eyes with that photo. And the twizzler one too
Steve groaned, throwing back more wine than was strictly necessary.
Steve: don't bully me! I thought it was too childish but she INSISTED
Eddie: I wasn't really focused on the twizzlers. I was too busy staring at all that hair. Real pretty, by the way.
Jesus, this guy was way too sincere. It made Steve felt hot under the collar in a way that he hadn't felt in years.
Steve: thanks I like yours too
Smart reply there, Steve. Real good with words.
Then Eddie sent something odd.
Eddie: thanks, honey. So how long you been into the scene?
The scene? Steve stared at his phone in confusion. He wasn't tipsy enough to be confused yet, he hadn't even finished his first glass of wine. What did he mean?
Steve: what scene?
He felt like he was missing something important.
Eddie: ......
Eddie: uh....have you read my profile yet, babe?
God, he needed to stop with all the pet names. Steve was started to feel a little dizzy just reading them.
What exactly was on his profile? Steve hadn't looked, he realized. He was pretty sure he matched with Eddie when he was wasted at Robins last weekend. It would explain not being able to remember him. He'd remember those dimples, he was sure of that.
He clicked on the profile and scrolled and-
Eddie. 27, 6'2. Incredibly gay and incredibly kinky. Dom-top, into sado stuff if you're interested 🥵
Steve stared at the screen in abject shock.
That was......not what he was expecting. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting but that definitely was not it.
Dom top.
Steve wasn't completely stupid, despite the general consensus. He knew what a dom was, he knew what a top was. He knew what sadomasochism was.
Holy fuck. He had no idea how to like...feel about that.
Steve: oh
Steve: Uh that is not what I expected at all.
Eddie: dealbreaker? It's okay if it is
Was it? Was it a dealbreaker?
Sure, Steve knew what all those things meant. Abstractly. He just wasn't sure what they actually entailed.
Steve: I've just never really...known anyone like that? Um, not to be rude. I hope that doesn't sound too rude.
Eddie: not rude at all, sweetheart. It's okay if you're curious
Steve's blood pumped a little harder. Because that's what this was about, right? Satisfying his ever growing curiosity. And this would be like killing two birds with one stone. It was just talking, he could do talking.
Steve: what exactly does sado stuff entail?
He'd never even seen Eddie in person and he could picture him laughing at that pathetic excuse of a question.
Eddie: plenty of things. It's different for everyone. Do you want to know what I'm specifically into?
Yes. Yes, he really did want to know.
Steve: please?
Eddie took a moment to reply and Steve chewed at one of his nails, waiting in anticipation.
Eddie: well, I'm into a lot of things. I'll be honest, babe. Some shit I'm into is a little intense. I like impact play, degradation, marking, hair pulling. Pretty much any way to inflict pain and make cute boys whine for me.
Steve squirmed in his seat, food completely forgotten. He had to look up impact play. Which, yeah. Seemed intense.
Still, it felt like the other man was leaving something out. Steve decided to be brave.
Steve: those seem pretty tame. Are you sure you're not forgetting anything?
Eddie: someone's a little mouthier at night, huh?
Steve flushed hot, biting at his lip as he felt himself grow hard in his slacks. He should have changed when he got home.
Eddie: but I'll be nice. Yeah, I left out a few that are a little too intense. Don't wanna scare you away.
Steve: you won't scare me away, I want to know
And he did. Steve was feeling brave and not just from the wine. He....was interested in what Eddie had to say.
It didn't take long for Eddie to give him what he wanted.
Eddie: okay, sweetheart. I'm also into things like spitting and painal. Some cock and ball torture. Blood play. All pretty dark stuff, honestly. But I don't really participate in those too often, if at all. They're a rarity.
That comforted Steve quite a bit, actually.
He still felt like someone had turned his world upside down.
Steve: what do you mean by spitting?
Because that's what was important, Steve.
Eddie: Jesus, how do you sound innocent over text?
Steve wasn't sure how to take that but it made him frown. He wasn't innocent. He'd had sex before. A lot of it. Sure, it was all vanilla and with women but- still, he wasn't a virgin.
Eddie: I mean I like making good boys hold their mouths open for me while I spit down their throats. That's what I mean.
Steve really did whine this time. He was disgusted with himself, thoroughly horrified by his own response. He shot a hand down to grab himself through his slacks, palming at his cock to try and get some relief. He was so hard that it was starting to hurt.
Steve: do they need to be on their knees?
He wasn't sure why he was even asking. Maybe he was trying to bait Eddie.
Eddie: they can be. Why, Steve? Would you like to be on your knees?
"Fuck." He whispered, grinding his palm down. He had to- he needed-
Steve: do you wanna call me? You should call me, if you can. Like right now preferably, if you aren't too busy and have nothing to do.
Steve left his number and closed the app, heart beating hard in his chest as he jumped up from his seat and began to pace.
He was never this forward. He shouldn't have done that. That was such a stupid idea, sending some random guy his number after a handful of messages on tinder. Eddie seemed nice too, he probably thought Steve was some kind of freak-
His phone started ringing and fuck, he- he couldn't answer it- what if it-
Unknown number. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Okay, he could do this. He was brave, he could do this.
Steve let out a breath and pressed the green button, sliding his phone to his ear.
"Hi?" He asked, voice meek and quiet in the silence of his apartment.
A man chuckled on the other end, a deep and rich sound. Steve felt shivers run up his spine.
"Hey there, Sailor Steve. Do you normally give random men your number after one conversation on tinder?"
Steve blushed horribly, hands fiddling with his stupid tie that he hadn't even taken off yet.
"No- I just- I just downloaded it? I've never used it before. But you seemed nice-"
"I don't know if nice is the word I'd use." And fuck, Steve had made a mistake. Because Eddie's voice was too good. It was too smooth, it felt too close to his ear. It sent tingles up and down his spine.
"What word would you use?" He asked, feeling dumbstruck.
"I'd say...sadistic. Mean. But only if you ask me to be," Steve bit his lip. What the fuck was happening to him? "You gotta ask real nice though."
"Do uh...do boys have to ask nice for the umm...spitting thing?" His voice was so quiet, he sounded like a mouse or some shit. Steve whipped his tie off, throwing it toward his dresser as he rushed into his bedroom.
"You're real caught up on that one, baby. Didn't you say you'd never even looked into any of this?"
Steve grimaced, he had admitted that, sort of.
"I mean...I've....well, I've watched porn." He admitted, throwing himself onto his bed. "And some of it has been...not purely vanilla."
Eddie hummed in recognition.
"Porn is pretty unrealistic, babe. That's not really what I do, when I'm dealing with a sub."
And god. Hearing him use the lingo, hearing him call them 'subs' was...really weirdly doing it for Steve. He wasn't even sure why.
"What do you do?" Steve couldn't stop asking questions.
"You're gonna have to be a little more specific. I do plenty of things. I'll tell you what. You tell me what your favorite kinky porn is and I'll tell you how it'd go in real life."
Steve sighed through his nose, trying to simultaneously calm his nerves and keep his hands off his cock.
Steve thought for a moment.
"I mean, I haven't seen much. It's never really been my thing, you know. Because so much of it feels um, too produced. But this one time...this one time I saw this video where this like, smaller guy was being umm...where this guy was fucking this smaller guy and he just...had a hand around his throat and his face was turning red but he kept gasping and- and it looked- it looked-"
Eddie interrupted him.
"Gotta be real careful with breath play, baby boy. I'd usually have a code for that, a tapping code. If my hands wrapped around your pretty little throat, how are gonna safe word, you know? So you'd use taps to indicate when you need to stop. Two for stop, one for green. Three for slow down. Really comes in handy if my cocks down your throat too."
Steve inhaled so sharply, he almost started coughing. He caught himself just in time but he was sure Eddie had heard the noise. He was talking about it all like...like he was implying the boy in question, the sub, was Steve.
"And...and what if this um, this sub. What if he's never sucked a guy off before?"
Eddie laughed again and Steve's hair stood on end. "You don't need to do much sucking if I'm fucking your face, sweetheart."
Oh god. Oh my god.
"Oh gosh." Steve hadn't meant to utter it out loud and he certainly hadn't meant to fucking censor himself. Embarrassment crawled over him as he tried to think of anything to say.
"Gosh? Did you just say oh gosh?" Steve huffed in irritation, noted by Eddie's sudden ribbing. "God, you're fucking cute. How has no one swooped you up yet, Steve?"
He gulped, "Maybe I'm just not that thrilling," He said, shrugging even though Eddie couldn't see him. "I'm pretty vanilla."
"Are you though?" Eddie didn't wait for an answer. "I'd say you're plenty thrilling, you've got me completely bricked up over here. Been hard since you squeaked out that little 'hi' when I called you."
Steve groaned at that, too turned on to think clearly. He grasped at his cock, fumbling with his zipper, pulling it down and releasing his it from its confines.
"Are you touching yourself, baby?" Fuck. Steve stroked his shaft, dipping over the head with nimble fingers as he pulled his foreskin back.
He felt brave.
"Mmm- yeah, can't help it. Your voice is so- it's so good."
Eddie laughed, far meaner this time. "Is it that easy? Some guy just sweet talks you over the phone and you get your dick out?"
Steve shook his head adamantly, whining at the accusation.
"Nuh-uh. No, it's you. It's- you were talking about stuff. Spitting and- and tying boys up-"
"I didn't even mention tying anyone up, did I? You just came up with that on your own. You're not vanilla at all, honey. You wanna tell me what you're thinking about that had you so worked up?"
Steve moaned lowly, slowing his hand down even as he dropped precum over the clasp of his fist.
"Thinking 'bout your hands in those pics. How long your fingers look. All those rings. If you'd let me put them in my mouth." God, he really was being a slut, wasn't he? He didn't even care in that moment, he just had to get it all out.
"I'd put them in your mouth, in your hair, in your hole. If you asked nicely, baby. I'd put them anywhere you want."
Steve moaned loudly, unable to cover the noise in time.
Eddie tsked at him, clearly having the time of his life.
"Poor thing. Just figured out that you're into kinky shit and you can barely contain yourself. I bet you're making a fucking mess, aren't you? Dripping everywhere. Are you messy, Steve?"
He nodded, forgetting Eddie couldn't see him.
"Y-yes. Yeah. I'm...I'm so wet. For you." That had been the right thing to say, apparently, because Steve was rewarded with a moan from Eddie. Low and contained, possibly passing through gritted teeth. Steve shuddered when he heard it.
"Yeah, rub your cockhead for me. Get all sensitive, baby." He could do that, he slid his palm over the head and rubbed relentlessly. "You're just a dream come true, aren't you? Popping up on my tinder like fucking bait, in your cute little costume. You have no idea the shit that men like me want to do to you, Steve."
God. That made him feel small. That made him feel like prey.
He loved it.
He whined thinly down the phone line, voice higher pitched than usual.
"You should see how tight the shorts are from the back," Now he knew he was a being a shit, and wasn't that new and fun? "Had all the moms hitting on me that night, trying to get my attention."
Eddie laughed again but Steve could hear his heavy breathing. He wondered if he was touching himself.
"And did they get your attention, Princess?"
Oh fuck. His mind whited out a little at that one. Princess. Precum blurted out over his hand and he whined loudly, hips twisting into his bedsheets.
"No, n-no they didn't."
"And why is that?" Eddie didn't wait for an answer. "Is that because none of them could give you what you needed? None of them could hold you down and fuck you until you cry? Or maybe tie you up, get you out of your pretty little mind for a little bit?"
It was actually because Nancy was never into any of that stuff. And to be fair, it'd only been an inkling in the back of his brain. But it didn't matter, he was right. He did need that. Fuck, he really needed that.
"Need- need you to tie me down. Fuck me til it hurts. Please, please- oh my god-"
"You sound so close. Why don't you come for me, baby?" And that was all it took. Eddie's smooth voice, asking him to come. With a hint of a warning that made Steve's balls draw up and his cock twitch in anticipation.
He came hard, his vision whiting out for a second. It felt better than it should have.
"Ah ah ah, fuck- ah, fucking- that's so good-" He was aware that he was making highly embarrassing noises but he couldn't stop making them as he stroked himself to oversensitivity before finally letting go.
He could hear labored breathing on the other side and he was just glad Eddie hadn't hung up yet.
"Sorry about that." Was what he chose to say. Not thank you, not hey, that was a good time. No. An apology.
Eddie let out a disbelieving laugh. Like he couldn't hold it in and the idea made Steve smile stupidly.
"You're something else, Stevie." He felt warm at the nickname.
"I wanna meet you," He blurted out, the king of accidental confessions. "I....maybe we could get some coffee?"
Eddie hummed, "Sure, sweetie. We can do that. Just gimme a time and a day."
Steve smiled for the first time in what felt like a long time. It kind of hurt his cheeks, it was so big.
"And maybe we can talk about this whole spitting thing while we're at it?"
That one really made Eddie laugh.