Work Text:
❝ gather matters of the heart
so we can act a fool ❞
1)
“Akutagawa, stop playing with your food.” Atsushi grumbles before stuffing a spoonful of rice into his mouth. The ravenette sitting across from him only glared before gently setting down his chopsticks and leaning back in his chair.
Atsushi was never too big on giving people comfort; it was hard for him to do that especially when it came to Akutagawa.
He knew how to take care of Kyouka – buy her crepes and she’ll be happy. Dazai, being a simple man, would shove his paperwork towards Atsushi. If Atsushi did it, he’d be happy. However, Akutagawa wasn’t as simple as those two. He required some sort of verbal comfort and Atsushi was not good at that.
That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.
“Hey,” He tries softly. “Is everything okay?”
For a second, Akutagawa looks up from his lap and Atsushi recognizes that glimpse of hesitation in his eyes. Having been partners for nearly four months now, Akutagawa still had a lot of distrust in Atsushi.
To be fair, they are technically rivals.
“I mean,” Akutagawa starts. “Yes and no.”
Atsushi tilts his head a bit to signal Akutagawa to carry on. Though he couldn’t necessarily comfort the other man, he was good at listening. So while Akutagawa spoke softly with a soft blush covering his cheeks (out of embarrassment?) Atsushi nodded attentively and gave small comments every now and then.
Before leaving the restaurant, Akutagawa gave Atsushi a small glance, and a slight curl of his lips. It was soft, it was genuine, and for a second, it left Atsushi breathless.
“Thanks,” He says. “Text me if Dazai-san has a mission for us.” Before Atsushi can respond, Akutagawa is gone, covered by the shadow of the night.
“But.. I don’t have your number?”
2)
Atsushi does eventually end up getting Akutagawa’s number from Dazai (without a thousand questions being asked, of course). While sitting at his desk with no work to do, he pulls out his phone and texts Akutagawa.
atsushi: hey
atsushi: it’s atsushi
atsushi: or jinko
atsushi: or whatever you call me
akutagawa: .
akutagawa: how did you get my number
akutagawa: and what do you want
atsushi: dazai-san gave it to me
atsushi: and um
atsushi: we have a stakeout nxt week
akutagawa: ok
akutagawa: when
akutagawa: and where
akutagawa: im not telepathic, you know
atsushi: wow haha you made a joke
atsushi: um anyways lol
atsushi: 7pm at the bay wednesday
atsushi: ill send you the deets
akutagawa: just say details
akutagawa: u dont have to shorten everything
akutagawa: and dont text me for non-work related things
akutagawa: ill c you
“Didn’t he just tell me not to shorten everything..?” Atsushi accidentally slips out, turning off his phone. He looks up and finds a glaring Kunikida looking at him and quickly turns back to his work.
Little to say, Atsushi does not end up texting Akutagawa for only work related things. Throughout the day, Atsushi (having little to no contacts on his phone) had sent at least 12 pictures of cats he found off the street (both old and new), pictures of his past cooking projects with Kyouka, and his paperwork. To no surprise, Akutagawa wouldn’t reply, or just send a “stop texting me.” back to him. Atsushi wasn’t a quitter though.
He would continuously send Akutagawa cute cat videos and random voice messages about his day until gradually, Akutagawa would open up and start replying. He smiled everytime the older man replied, typing back instantly. Sometimes, if he were lucky, he could bother Akutagawa enough to send a picture of what he was currently doing.
He knew something was different about Akutagawa, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.
3)
On that Wednesday night, at the bay, Atsushi quietly pads towards Akutagawa. Before he can even greet him, Rashomon wraps around his waist before Akutagawa climbs up the nearest roof.
“Put me down!” Atsushi yelps, struggling against the tight grip of his partner’s ability.
“If I put you down, you’ll fall and die. And this is a stakeout. We can’t just be sitting in plain sight.” Atsushi relaxes and shuts up. I thought this was another kidnapping method.
As soon as they reach the roof, Akutagawa places Atsushi down (he notices he does it gently instead of his usual aggressive way – he wonders if something changed).
“And,” Akutagawa coughs. “I’m not like that anymore. We’re partners now. You don’t have to be so tense.”
Atsushi freezes, letting out an audible ‘huh?’ before nodding.
“Thanks, Akutagawa.”
An hour into the stakeout with little things to see starts mindless chatter. Atsushi is very observant of his partner today – he seems rather sentimental. He prefers that over the usual Akutagawa though. However, it’s strange.
“Sooo,” Atsushi starts, dragging the ‘O’ out. “Got any plans coming up?”
“My birthday is this Monday,” Akutagawa replies. “Gin usually buys a small cake and we share it before heading to work.”
“Your birthday! Akutagawa, that’s a big deal!”
Akutagawa turns his head to the side, taking the binoculars out of Atsushi’s hand with Rashomon (which is gentler today?) and observing what’s happening down below.
“It’s not that big of a deal. We grow up, get closer to death, then become worthless and die. I don’t think getting old should be celebrated.”
“Gee, you’re so much fun. Glad I got you as a partner.” Atsushi pouts, puffing out a breath and crossing his arms.
“Well, find a different partner then.”
“No, I think I’m growing to like you, Akutagawa.”
“..Okay.”
“I’ll get you something. For your birthday. March 1st, right?”
4)
So when March 1st comes, Atsushi is ready with a gift bag, tissue paper covering the gift inside. When he walks up to Akutagawa’s door (after asking Dazai for his address while avoiding his questions), he takes a deep breath in and knocks. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. He just is.
A grumpy, groggy Akutagawa in a black t-shirt and gray shorts opens the door. His hair is messy and ungroomed; he looks tired.
“Oh.” Akutagawa’s grumpy expression changes in an instant. “You actually.. Went through with it?”
“I don’t break my promises for my favorite partner!” Atsushi cheers, smiling as he walks under Akutagawa’s arm (which was blocking the door) and placing the gift bag on a brown coffee table.
“I’m your only partner.” Akutagawa grumbles before closing the door.
“Happy birthday, Akutagawa.” Atsushi says with a smile. He sits on the living room couch, acting as if he lives here. He points confidently at the gift bag, and Akutagawa takes a moment to admire it.
For someone like Atsushi (who is unorganized and generally a mess), it’s pretty neatly packaged. It’s a simple white bag with ‘Happy Birthday’ written across it in gold lettering. On top, there’s some white tissue paper to cover the gift inside. It’s simple, but it’s nice. It makes him smile for a second.
“Um.. Thank you. Are you sure you want me to take this?” He asks timidly. Atsushi blinks.
“Yes.. It’s your birthday. Take it.”
Akutagawa hesitates for another moment before grabbing the bag and taking out the tissue paper. Inside, there’s another white sheet wrapped around something. He grabs it and unravels it, revealing a small, porcelain teacup.
“I know you like tea, so I got you that. I know it’s not much, but I tried to get something in my budget that you would still like. Um. If you don’t want it, I can return it. You don’t nee-”
“Thank you.”
“Huh?”
“Thank you.. I, uh, like it.”
Atsushi blinks once, then twice, then smiles.
“Of course. Do you have any tea? It’s the closest thing I’ll get to chazuke right now.”
“Why wouldn’t I have tea?”
5)
Atsushi was lying face flat on his futon.
Fuck. He really did like Akutagawa. And that wasn’t good.
After he left Akutagawa’s place, he realized his feelings, and having feelings for your rival-turned partner was not a good thing. He wasn’t going to tell anyone. And he collectively decided that he wouldn’t be seeing Akutagawa anymore either.
It was for his own good, both of them. First of all, Akutagawa definitely didn’t feel the same way about Atsushi. Second, if he did, a relationship between a member of the Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia wouldn’t work out. Third, Akutagawa was an emotional mess. There’s no way he could handle this sudden change in their relationship.
So, Atsushi was set on it. He wasn’t going to talk to Akutagawa; no missions, no texts, no calls. Just radio silence.
He was only doing it because he cared. He hoped that this was the right decision.
+1)
A few days later, Atsushi is sitting at his small kitchen table, eating a bowl of rice for lunch while mindlessly scrolling through his phone. He hears a short knock on the door yet chooses to ignore it. It’s probably just the mail.
Until it repeats. Not once, or twice, but three times. He groans and places his phone down before walking over to the door.
“No, I don’t want to buy your chocolate. Or cookies. Or washing machines. Whatever it is, I’m not-”
“Oh. Akutagawa.”
The ravenette in front of him is staring at him blankly. He has a dull expression on his face, dark eye bags under his eyes and that same messy hair from the last time he saw him. He probably just got up.
“Where have you been.” He doesn’t ask it as a question – he demands it.
“Um. Busy. Work is busy.” Atsushi replies shyly as Akutagawa shoves past him. Atsushi quietly shuts the door behind him, standing against it afterwards. He plans on using it as an escape route.
“That’s funny,” Akutagawa sneers. “I recall Dazai-san saying you’ve had little work to do recently and decided to decline any missions with me.”
That bastard. Atsushi silently cursed his mentor out and kept his gaze on the ground. He heard Akutagawa take a step forward. Then another.
Cold hands touch his chin, gently guiding him to look up at the Port Mafia member.
With a soft voice, Akutagawa speaks again, “I just wanna know why you went all ghost on me. I mean.. It was all fine on my birthday. And then you just left. You can’t do that to me.”
“Akutagawa I-”
“You left, you started avoiding our missions, my texts, my calls. Is it me ? Am I the issue here?” His voice cracks with emotion at the end of his sentence. Atsushi flinches.
The silver haired boy takes both of Akutagawa’s hands into his, lowering them from his face. “It’s not you, I’ve just..”
“Just what, jinko? Spit it out.”
The room goes silent. Neither of them speak.
“ Fine . If you’re gonna be that way, so be it. I don’t even know why I was so into you.”
He aggressively removes his hands from Atsushi’s, summoning Rashomon to shove him out of the way.
Knowing Akutagawa and his attacks, he blocks it with a tiger claw and stares up at him.
“You’re into me?”
“I thought it was obvious.” The latter frowns. Atsushi drags his eyes to the floor and gets rid of his claw.
“I.. guess it wasn’t. Akutagawa, listen. This whole thing was a misunderstanding. Kind of. The other day, when I came over to celebrate your birthday, I realized I was.. I dunno. I liked you, I guess. And while reflecting on it, I figured that I guess I’ve felt that way for a while now. My first reaction was to distance myself from you to one, figure it out, and two, think about what I’m gonna do next.” He takes a deep breath in and forces himself to look up at Akutagawa. His eyes are wide in shock as he dismisses Rashomon. Atsushi tries to step away because of the close proximity, but realizes he’s still trapped against the door.
“Akutagawa. I like you. A lot. And I don’t know where we’re gonna go with this if you like me back, and of course you don’t have to, I would never force you. I mean, we’re from different organizations. This is the kind of thi-”
His ramble is cut off by Akutagawa’s lips on his. His first thought is, he tastes like jasmine tea. His second, ohmygod is this really happening?
As they pull away from each other, Akutagawa brushes a strand of Atsushi’s hair away from his face. They’re both red, staring at each other. Akutagawa’s hands are at Atsushi’s waist while Atsushi’s rest around the latter’s neck. He doesn’t know when they got like that, but he lets it happen.
“Atsushi,” Akutagawa breathes out. “Does that answer your question?”
“I mean.. Kind of? It answered one. I still have a bajillion more.”
Akutagawa moves forward to rest his forehead on the other man’s, letting their noses touch. “I don’t care what happens, what kind of punishment I get,” He says softly. “As long as you’re safe and I’m with you, I don’t care.”
“Akutagawa…”
“So, is that a yes or a no?”
Atsushi smiles, closing his eyes.
“Of course it’s a yes, silly.”