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“Come on baby, I’ll hold you so fucking tender.” Wade holds open his arms and looks down at Spider-Man who is visibly uncomfortable crouching in the little air vent adjacent to the much more spacious one Wade is crammed into. It’s barely big enough to accommodate him standing, which is still a testament to modern design.
“I’m not going to go full frontal against you Wade.” Spider-Man is definitely scowling at him underneath the mask. He taps one spandex foot against Wade’s ankle. “Move your massive legs. If you get all the standing room, I should get some leg room.”
“You could stand too.” Wade offers but shifts his legs out as far as he can and the space beneath him is quickly overtaken with Spider-Man’s gangly legs, his feet pushed against the back wall at an angle that props his knees against the inside of Wade’s calves which is definitely going to be a problem soon.
“Fuck.” Spider-Man groans at his newfound space. They’ve been in here for about an hour and his legs are probably cramped. His head sways dangerously forward and before it can hit its unintended target Wade gets his head in a death grip, holding him in a way that makes his brain briefly whiteout.
“Careful. That’s my dick.” Wade says and Spider-Man freezes for a second before balling his hand in a fist and mimicking punching upward.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Wade says more evenly then he feels, he can feel Spider-Man’s hair through the mask, he resists the urge to tighten his grip and lets go.
They both sit in an uncomfortable silence. Wade hates those stretches of time so he looks around the room and stares up at the industrial size fan that acts as his ceiling with the blades resting right against the crown of his head.
“Coin flip. Our exit gets unblocked or I get decapitated. Which do you think happens first?” It’s either get inappropriately hard or make light of death, and Wade is already getting hard.
“Stop.” Spider-Man groans, rubbing at his temples. “That’s so fucked up.”
“It probably wouldn’t even kill me right away.” Wade whistles thoughtfully. “It’d be like one of those old timey lobotomies, you could probably poke at my brain and see if you can puppet me around before the blood loss got to me. Well, if you stand up that is. If you stay down there, you’re getting a red shower.”
“I don’t want to puppet your body.” Spider-Man says in a chiding tone that he uses whenever Wade is getting extra annoying. It's a frequently used tone.
“And you call yourself a scientist.” Wade rolls his eyes.
Spider-Man sighs underneath him, impatiently tapping his feet against the wall. Wade swears he can feel his hot breath through layers of leather and thinks of the grossest kills he’s ever done and tries to intimately recreate them from memory. It doesn’t necessarily help, his brain has enough crossed wires that violence and eroticism are only a hairpin away from each other. It’s the thought that counts.
“Fuck.” Spider-Man interrupts his thoughts. “This suucckkks.” He draws out the word with a breathy sigh that makes Wade bite through his lip. He looks so pretty underneath him, all cagey and scrunched up and completely unable to leave.
“Yeah.” Wade’s mouth is so dry right now. “Sucks so bad.”
Peter pulls his mask up further and yawns in a way that Wade can only describe as lewd. His mouth is wet and pink and exposed for what feels like an eternity. Wade can count all of his fillings. He has really nice teeth for someone who definitely doesn’t have health insurance. Must have a pretty rigid routine. Or made a deal with the college dental department.
“I thought you’d be talking more.” Peter says finally before inexplicably leaning forward and resting his pointy chin against the meat of Wade’s left thigh, humming thoughtfully against the leather which, fuck him for that. Wade wants to pull his leg back, but only because he doesn’t want to at all. Unfortunately he has absolutely no room to move so it’s a mute point, schematics be damned.
“What the fuck do you want me to talk about?” Wade says because his brain is in the ninth circle of hell as his blood rushes downwards. Soon there will be something to talk about, but he’s trying to keep that destination as distant as possible.
“You’ve never had a problem picking something before.” Peter retorts before groaning again and honestly, Wade can do without the groaning and the little sighs, and all the ways he’s shifting his body and making the space he’s graciously trying to maintain shrink more and more. Wade tries to remember if Peter usually makes this much noise when he’s bored.
Peter sighs and pulls his legs back before pushing himself onto his knees so he’s now eye level with Wade’s utility belt. “I wish there was something to do.” He says, crossing his arms over Wade’s torso, one of his fingers lazily tracing Wade’s metal decal as he stares up at him pointedly.
This is fucked up. He should be getting a purple heart for his immense bravery and restraint in the heat of combat.
“We can play a game.” Wade bites out, there’s no way Peter is not going to see how hard he is. He’s just there, physical and touching and weirdly suggestive in a way that he’s definitely not supposed to take as suggestive but his brain is just filled with the imagery of that wet, warm mouth and that pretty pink tongue and how good it would look wrapped around his dick.
“Oh.” Peter hums. “That’s a good idea. Let’s play truth or dare.”
Wade snorts. “I don’t think there’s room for any good dares.”
Peter smirks up at him. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” The emphasis has Wade’s head spinning, the horny demon running his brain is making it hard to be ethical here. Peter isn’t actually a willing participant in his fucked up desires. He definitely is just making up the inflections. Peter can’t help it that he sounds like a horned up porn star. He was just born to be accidently seductive.
“In what fucking way?” Wade chokes out. “Are we going to figure out something?”
“Truth or dare?” Peter says, smiling toothily as he ignores the question.
Wade wants to say dare, oh man, he wants to say dare just to see what that little fucker has in mind but the words dry up in his mouth so he just says. “Truth.”
Peter frowns, clearly disappointed.
“Fine.” He says flatly.
“You didn’t have any truths planned huh?” Wade smirks a little.
“Fuck you.” Peter retorts, a familiar scowl that always makes Wade’s heart skip a beat.
“You want me to ask one for you?” Wade laughs.
“Shut up. That’s stupid. I – how old were you when you got your first blow job?”
Wade blinks. His brain record scratches. The music stops. The lights dim. The show should probably end right now.
“What?” He croaks out.
Peter presses a finger against his stomach and looks up at him, the picture of innocence.
“Uh – why the fuck do you want to know that?” Wade asks slowly.
“The game isn’t Truth or Dare or Interrogate.” Peter says, and he knows that he’s rolling his eyes under the mask. “I’m bored and sex talk is interesting.” He shrugs.
“But why a blow job?” Wade refuses to put two and two together.
“Just answer the question Wade.” Peter yawns pointedly. A trail of spit connects his tongue to the bottom of his lip and he licks it off slowly, maintaining eye contact with a single minded determination that makes Wade want to break his own fingers.
“Um.” He responds eloquently.
Peter punches him playfully in the leg, but Spider-Man has never been good at a love tap so Wade smacks against the wall and his head hits against the metal.
“Sorry.” Peter doesn’t sound sorry at all.
“I was sixteen.” Wade chokes out. He hadn’t thought of it in a while, it had been quick and fast, one of his friends and him against an abandoned grain silo. He had come too fast; he hadn’t even really been able to appreciate it.
“Hmm.” Peter says. “Was it good?”
“Your turn is over.” Wade says, staring up at the decapitation fans. “Truth or Dare?”
“Dare.” Peter says.
“I dare you – “ Wade glances around the room. “To do a handstand.”
“What?” Peter bristles. “A fucking handstand?”
“What? You don’t think you’re bendy enough for it?” Wade asks. “Look - I’ll even hold your legs.”
Peter lets out an annoyed grunt and then suddenly he’s springing onto his hands, his legs straight in the air, a foot kicks the side of Wade’s face. Wade is too busy staring down at the Spider crotch, which he shouldn’t be but it's right there. It’s never been right there before.
“Happy?” Peter grumbles before lowering his legs down, he keeps them bent and pressed hard against Wade’s stomach before dropping his hands off the floor, sliding down hard as his body hits the floor, legs smacking against the back wall. He groans, slowly pulling himself back up to his previous kneeling position.
“That sucked.” He says, shaking his head. “That is the last handstand I’m doing in here.”
Wade rolls his eyes. “This is why I said we shouldn’t play Truth or Dare.”
“You’re just not playing it right.” Peter grits out.
“Okay. Fine. Show me how you want to play it, Spidey.” Wade sighs.
“Pick dare.”
Wade smirks. “Truth.”
“I fucking hate you.” Peter mutters.
“Man, you must have something sick you want me to do in here.” Wade glances around the room. “You going to dare me to shoot myself in the head or something? Getting tired of the chatter?”
“That’s so fucked up.” Peter says, groaning. “Why is your brain so fucked up?”
“Oh sorry, forgive me for being a fucking creative.” Wade argues. “What else could you possibly want me to do? Switch places with you? Is this a long con so you can stand up and I have to squeeze my massive bod into the little hole or something? Because if so, you’re actually the one whose fucked up – “
“How do you like getting sucked off?” Peter interrupts him.
“WHAT?” Wade exclaims and unwittingly smacks his hand against the back of the wall. That fan better turn on soon. There needs to be an emergency button he can press to get the death trap turned on because he certainly is.
“Answer the fucking question Wilson.” Spider-Man sounds beyond upset with him, and Wade has no idea why.
“I don’t – “ Wade feels so over-stimulated, plus now he has that sound bite ingrained into his gray matter forever. Is Peter making fun of him because he’s clearly tenting? Is this just some weird hazing game and Peter is just a lot more sadistic than he ever gave him credit for? The room is so hot and he is so fucking hard and he just wants this game to be over.
“Fuck – I don’t know.” He does, thinks back to the last time someone let him have his dick in their mouth. “I – I mean. Do you really want to know this?”
Peter raises his hand like he’s about to punch him in the leg again.
“I like face fucking. Christ. Slow your powerhouse roll.” He snaps out. He likes any sort of blow job, what guy doesn’t? But using someone like a human fleshlight, chasing his pleasure until it explodes, the noises and the wetness and the access to it just. It gets him going. The trust that he won’t hurt them, the willingness to just be used by him. It’s not something people are often willing to do with him, and he’s always too ashamed to ask.
“Are you happy?” He mumbles, face itchy and red.
Peter is uncharacteristically quiet underneath him.
“Okay, last round. I ask one and you ask one and we’re done.” Wade snaps, feeling embarrassed and ashamed and desperate to be out of this weird horny nightmare he’s found himself in.
“Truth or dare?” He spits out.
Peter is still quiet.
“Truth.” Peter responds flatly.
“How do you like getting sucked off?” Wade snaps.
“Wh-what?” Peter seems off guard.
“Oh, so you can be a sexual deviant in this game but when I do it – “
“I like sitting on someone’s face and grinding on them like they’re my toy.” Peter says, his voice is even but his words are so heated that Wade can’t feel his legs anymore. “I like riding against them, getting their face wet as they jack hammer their tongue in and out of me. I like cumming on their face and having them pull me closer, forcing another one out of me even if I tell them not to, just feeling their greedy tongue licking at me like they’re starving and I’m the last thing they’ll ever eat. I like when they make me cry, when it almost hurts to be touched and then – “
Peter is quiet again.
“Did you – uh, want that level of detail from me?” Wade says slowly. The images in his brain right now, he feels like he can literally taste him. He wants to tell him that he can do that. He will do that right now. He will do that every single day. Wants to say, ‘You can wrap your thighs around me until I stop breathing and fuck my corpse and the moment I come back I’ll start at it again.’
“Truth or Dare?” Peter ignores his question.
“Fuck – Petey. I have to be honest. This is really, I’m really – if you keep on asking these questions I’m going to nut. In your face. Not on your face, but you have me all riled up with these fucking questions and your, weird ass audio porn answers – “
“Truth or Dare.” Peter says again.
“Dude, I am trying to tell you I’m about to jizz my fucking pants.” Wade gasps, trying not to rut the air. “Why don’t you crawl in that little hole and close your ears and eyes and I’ll just, fucking tug one out and then we can pretend this never happened.”
“TRUTH OR DARE!” Peter screams, it bounces off the metal walls and Wade freezes.
“If you don’t say dare. I swear. I will. I will fucking end you.” Peter hisses.
“Dare.” Wade says without thinking. He catches a stuttering breath, he likes when Peter’s mean to him and that’s not making this any easier.
Peter rips off his mask, revealing a flushed and furious face, his brow furrowed like it does only when he’s very concentrated on achieving something. He tugs at Wade’s belt and looks up at him with the most intense of expressions.
“Fuck my face.” He says and opens that mouth again, that wet tongue reaching out toward his clothed dick.
“Come – “ Wade means to say come again, but then he just comes.
“What the fuck Wade?” Peter slams his hand against the wall behind them. “Are you fucking serious?”
“I’m – you – you expect me to react to that normally.” Wade shivers, riding the come down of his orgasm, back sliding against the wall. “To you saying ‘fuck my face?’ Do you – do you have any idea.” He takes in a shaky breath.
Peter looks at his cum stained pants miserably. “That was supposed to happen in my mouth.” He groans. “Fuck you. Fuck you so hard.”
Wade’s eyes roll up a little. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do to me here but if killing me is the goal, please just snap my neck with your spider legs and let me spend the rest of our time here in pieces.”
“I was trying to seduce you.” Peter mumbles. “Into letting me blow you.”
“Why?” Wade lets out a shaky laugh. “Why – why would you. Spider-Man. Petey. The hottest person I have ever met in my life, object of all of my sexual fantasies, man of my dreams, etc. want to blow my zombie dick?”
Peter sighs, resting his head against Wade’s thigh. An action that makes him realize that he’s probably going to get hard again before they get out of here.
Wade shakes his head, realization hitting him like the most delayed of trains. “You were trying to – oh my god. The yawning, the game – you – wait. Are we even supposed to be in here? Is this all an elaborate ruse to get me to drop my pants so you can go ham on my dick?”
Spider-Man does not look at him, his shoulders are hunched over and he looks like he’s trying to curl into a tiny spider shaped ball.
“Peter.” Wade says sternly, or as stern as he can sound which is admittedly more breathy then he usually goes for when he’s trying to intimidate someone. He has a short refractory period, sue him. “Petey?”
Peter groans, pressing his hands into his eyes and rubbing them furiously, his cheeks are red and he looks stressed.
“Do – “ Peter sighs. “Never mind. Forget I said anything. Forget – “
“What’s going on with you? You into claustrophilia? Is this tiny ass tunnel just making you so unbelievably, stupid horny that you want to - ”
“No Wade, it’s your massive fucking dick. That’s what is getting to me.” Peter hisses. “You were absolutely bricked up, and it was right in front of my face and you blew your load before I could cram it down my fucking throat and I am just so. I’m so – “He breathes out a low sigh. “Upset. Fuck.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.” He sounds so remorseful for something that Wade cannot imagine anyone needing to apologize for that wasn’t him, the owner of the fucked up dick.
“Why?” Wade says. “I don’t get it. Are you doing a research project on the ejaculation period of cancer penis? Is there something that is just, absolutely essential about jizzing in your mouth – “ he pauses before quickly adding. “Not – not that I would do that. Hypothetically, jizz in your mouth well actually - hell, I fucking would. I totally would. I don’t know. Peter.” He groans, slamming a hand over his eyes. “What – what are you possibly getting out of this.”
“I….fuck.” Peter groans. “Wade, you’re really…fucking hot. And big, like – all over but your dick. It's just. It’s so big.” His breath catches and it makes Wade’s entire brain light on fire. “I want you to skull fuck me into oblivion and cum down my throat and make me swallow and then do it over and over again and – “ he groans, and Wade realizes that he’s touching himself. Spider-man is masturbating underneath him, running fingers across his spandex covered dick hard and fast, gasping as he does.
“Fuck.” Wade breathes, watching something he thought he’d only see in his fucked up brain. “That’s – that’s so hot. You’re so hot. I don’t know why you’d want that but like, fuck.” He gasps. “Why do you want that?”
“Because I want you. Wade.” Peter gasps, eyes rolling back. “I want – I want you. So bad. I think about it all the time. When we’re on patrol, when we’re hanging out, when you’re – fucking fighting me. You have such a big dick and it would feel so good in my mouth, I just want to taste it and feel it and –“
“Wait.” Wade forces himself to calm down and take control of a situation that he may never experience again. He might not fully understand what’s happening here, if Spider-Man wants him to face fuck him into oblivion, he’s willing to step the fuck up.
“You can suck my dick whenever you fucking want. Hell - you can do it right now if you want it that bad.” He points down at his fully hard dick.
“Yeah?” Peter eyes his bulge and slowly licks his lips. “Fuck.” He breathes. “Fuck. Please. Oh my god, Wade please –“
Wade moans, reaching out and grabbing Peter by his pretty hair and forcing him forward. He’s just going to be selfish, he’s not going to think about this. Spider-Man is going to suck his dick and he’s going to enjoy every last, temporary moment of it.
“You’re so pretty when you beg.” Wade grits out, reaching to unzip his pants but Peter is already on it, fumbling with the zipper and ripping it down, grabbing for his dick like it’s a bomb about to go off if he immediately doesn’t push it down his fucking throat.
“See something you like?” He quips because it's there. It’s happening.
“Fuck.” Peter says softly, he’s staring at Wade’s dick like it holds all the answers. “Yeah.” Peter’s voice catches in a small whine. “You have no idea how long.”
“How long?” Wade gasps as Peter pulls at his dick, it’s weird seeing Spider-Man with his hand around it and it’s a visual he’s probably going to get hand engraved for his living room mantel.
“Really long.” Peter breathes. “I…I mean. You have to know that - that I think you’re hot.” He laughs a little. “I’m not subtle.
Wade did not know, probably will struggle to know after this event but he hopes he never forgets what it was like to hear him say it.
“You’re so strong and terrifying the first time we fought I just….when you were choking me out I saw stars. Not just because of the lack of oxygen but you just, you got me going. I – even when I didn’t like you I wanted you. I’d ride my vibrator until the batteries burnt out . I’d stick my dildo to the shower and go crazy thinking about how much I wanted you.”
“Fuck Petey.” Wade tangles his hands in Peter’s hair and pulls him forward just enough to watch Peter chase him with his mouth and then pulls him back, shivering at the little whine it elicits.
“I’ll make it good.” Peter says. “I promise. Please. I know this is weird but if I don’t – I just. I think about it a lot. It’s kind of fucking up my life.”
Wade imagines Peter thinking about blowing him. Imagines the way his eyes would glaze over, choking himself on his own dildo imagining it was Wade slamming him up and down on his cock. He suddenly no longer cares about what they were here for or if this whole mission was made up by Peter for cock related crimes. He might never care about anything again. The moment they got out of these tunnels, Wade was going to fuck the every loving shit out of Peter Parker and then, if he got lucky maybe Peter would strap him to death.
“I know it’ll be good. Safe word’s Fresno. ” Wade groans, a trail of pre-cum leaks out of the tip and Peter leans in and licks it off and then suddenly, he’s moaning, tonguing desperately at the slit, his hand is still furiously rubbing his dick through his suit which is so upsetting because if they weren’t in crammed in a tunnel Wade would be the one doing that.
“Thank you.” Peter breathes, pulling back, Wade’s cum and his spit wet on his lips. His eyes look glazed over. Fully dick sick.
“You’re so pretty baby boy.” Wade gasps and then he pulls tightly on Peter’s hair and forces him forward. Peter uses his other hand to grip Wade’s thigh for balance before he’s forced to sink down on his dick, taking him to the root. His mouth is hot and wet and he can feel Peter drooling.
“You like that.” He gasps, testing a few shallow thrusts. Peter gags, but doesn’t pull back. Wade’s eyes roll back and he goes harder. Then he pulls back again, there’s spit connecting Peter’s lips to his dick and Peter looks up at him reverently.
“Can you fuck my face?” He asks, more politely than he has ever asked Wade for anything in the entire course of their enemies to friendship. “I’m kind of a cock slut Wade. I just kind of want a cock in my mouth all the time. Especially yours. I want more of it. Please – “
Wade slams his dick into Peter’s face again and Peter moans around it. His hand is moving faster against himself and if Wade wasn’t getting the best sloppy head of his life he would have been jealous that he wasn’t the one getting to make Peter’s thighs shake.
“Fuck. You’re so good.” Wade gasps. “This is so hot. I can’t believe you’ve been drooling over my monster dick for so long. You should have said something. You could have had it any time.”
Peter can’t say anything due to being used as the human fleshlight Wade told him he liked. He pulls Peter’s head back just to see the look in his eyes, the hunger that has him fighting against Wade’s grasp so he can just sink down again.
“You’re so good like this.” He breathes.
Peter moans and that insane tongue of his is licking fucking air because Wade won’t let him have what he wants. Wade wants to drive him insane, wants to see how far he can drive this self-proclaimed cock slut to the edge.
“Please.” Peter begs which is exactly what Wade wants. “Please, please. It feels so good. Fuck me like you mean it Wade. I’m strong. I won’t break.” He’s crying, big fat tears rolling down his slick cheeks and Wade is in heaven, he really is.
“Ask nicely.” Wade breathes. “Ask me really, really nicely.”
“Fuck my face.” Peter gasps. “Please fuck my face. Use me, use me use me – “Wade cuts him off by cramming his dick back down his throat and Peter sighs into it.
“You’re so good baby boy.” Wade moans, jack hammering out of that wet mouth like his life depends on it. He can feel himself on the edge of cumming again, he doesn’t know if Peter wants it down his throat or all over his face but he wishes he could do both.
When Peter stops fucking himself on his fingers to grab onto Wade’s leg and pull himself even deeper in, Wade is pretty sure which option Peter wants.
“You want me to cum down your throat you little slut?” Wade chokes. “Fuck. You do. You do don’t you?” Peter’s grip is so hard it hurts, which just makes it feel even better.
Wade isn’t a good person so he pulls out and the whine that it elicits is amazing.
“If you – “ Peter is trying to catch his breath while fighting to get back down. “Don’t come down my fucking throat I will – do unspeakably awful things to you.”
Wade moans low. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
“Please Wade.” Peter says, the desperation in his voice is going to send him over the edge.
“What if I want to come on your face?” Wade asks meanly.
“Wade!” Peter breaks out of his grasp using the full spidey super strength and forces himself on Wade’s dick, slamming his hand on the wall behind Wade and sinking into the metal like its tissue paper, Wade is officially getting dick sucked through force. He wants to live here forever.
“Fuck. God. You’re so strong.” Wade whimpers, smacking his head against the wall. “This is the best day of my fucking life.”
Peter hums around his dick and he’s coming down his throat, Peter is gulping it down like it’s fucking ambrosia and Wade can’t look directly at him or else his knees are going to buckle so he just shuts his eyes and tries to live in the fucking moment.
When he’s done, Peter pulls back and opens up his mouth, sticking out his tongue and showing him all the cum still inside.
“Petey.” Wade groans weakly. “You’re going to kill me.”
Peter swallows it slowly and performatively before diving back on Wade’s soft dick and cleaning it with hungry licks.
“Stop – stop it.” Wade says without any strength behind it.
Peter stops and stares at him with those dark, probing eyes as he slowly licks cum off his own face.
“You’ve ruined me.” Wade says. “I’m ruined. I don’t think I can be normal about this.”
“This is the new normal.” Peter says simply, before tucking Wade back in his pants.
“Yeah?” Wade laughs shakily. “If this is the new normal, then – “ his brain can’t even come up with a quippy line. Peter has blown the personality straight out of him. Maybe the people who’ve tried shutting him up permanently should have tried blowing him instead.
Peter whines, and Wade watches him fuck himself on his fingers again.
“Oh my god Petey, let me.” He breathes. “Please. Please.”
“Let you do what?” Peter gasps. “I’m – I’m so close. I can do it. It’s no big deal. The dick sucking was pretty selfish, it was literally – I wanted it.”
“Let me eat you out.” Wade begs. “You think you were phallically possessed, you have no idea what it looks like in my brain. It’s basically a 24/7 porno of me going down on you, of you riding my face of – “
“Okay.” Peter gasps. “Okay. Hold on. How – “
“You’re a fucking spider climb up these fucking walls, put my face between those gorgeous legs and use me like a toy.” Wade says. “Pretty fucking simple.”
Peter is up him so fast he barely has time to blink, he unzips his costume and suddenly he has spider-dick right in front of his face, and all he can smell is Peter and he’s so fucking wet and suddenly Peter is rutting up against his face, not even caring if Wade’s mouth is open or not just using him like he said he would.
It’s the best day of Wade’s life. He’s going to mark this on his calendar and religiously celebrate it every year.
“Wade – “ Peter gasps, slamming his hips into Wade’s face. Wade hopes he breaks his fucking nose. He uses his tongue against his dick and lets Peter rub himself all over him, using him like he said he would and it’s making his brain feel so blissfully empty. “You’re so good, you’re so good. I knew you’d be good. Why – why didn’t we do this sooner.” Peter chants as he rubs up against him.
Wade wants to say that’s Peters fault because he has been on the front lines of team fuck Spider-Man since the moment they met, but he’s too busy living out his biggest fantasy and then Spider-Man comes right against his mouth, covering his face with it and he’s died and gone to heaven.
“Oh my god.” Wade groans as Peter pulls back, whining when Wade chases him down. “No, no you come back here.”
“No.” Peter moans, trying to struggle away but Wade knows better and holds him in place before going to town again as Peter fruitlessly tries to struggle away from him.
“Stop – stop, it's too much. It’s too much Wade.” Peter is crying again, which is definitely something Wade is into so he just increases the intensity trying to bring him back to the edge as fast and brutal as possible. “Please, please stop.” Peter slams his head against the wall and cries out weakly as Wade pulls another one of him, slumping against Wade’s face so that he’s the only one holding him up.
“Wow.” Wade breathes, sorely tempted to see how many he can go for.
“Yeah.” Peter sniffles. “That was insane.”
“Round three?” Wade licks a long stripe up Peter’s thigh and then bites it.
“No – no.” Wade dives in again, already eager to be back. Peter crushes his head with his thighs. “No for real this time. No, as in no. Fresno. ”
Wade groans but pulls back. “Fine. But just so you know, if you want me to stop. Crushing me with your spider thighs is absolutely not my off button.”
Spider-Man crawls down off him and falls back down to his knees. Wade’s dick is already investigating the possibility of a third round.
Then, the tunnel behind them opens.
“Oh.” They both say, disappointed.
“Well.” Wade says, staring at the tunnel. “I guess we’re free.”
“Yeah.” Peter sighs. “Lucky us.”
“So – “ Wade crouches down as Peter pulls his mask back on before starting to crawl back through the tunnel and he gets a wonderful view of spidey ass. He reaches out and smacks it. “Are you just into sucking my dick, or do you – “
“I want you to fuck me into the ground.” Peter says conversationally. “I want you to fuck me to into the center of the fucking earth Wilson.”
“Oh.” Wade says and suddenly he can’t feel half his body anymore.
“Is that cool with you?” Peter asks slowly, glancing back at him.
“Oh. Walt Disney’s frozen dead body cool. Subterranean.” Wade says. “Frostbite making my dick turn black cool.”
“I don’t want your dick to get frostbite.” Peter says. “How am I going to ride it?”
Wade slams his hand down hard on the metal floor.
“What about you?” Peter sounds smug but there’s an underlying nervousness too. "Do – do you – “
“Strap me into the sun.” Wade says reverently. “Fuck me until my body splits in half, and then fuck both bleeding sides.”
“I’m not going to do that.” Peter says. “The – bleeding sides thing. I will strap you though.” Wade can hear the smile in his voice. “I really want to do that.”
“Oh good, but just so you know, I’m a massive cock slut too and once you give me that option I will be the most useless crime fighting buddy known to man.” Wade says honestly. “I will always be looking to get on that Spidey dick. I will be needy, and greedy, and fucking annoying about it.”
“I’m into it.” Peter says laughing. “I still have to fight crime like, morally but – “ he reaches the end of the tunnel and punches the grate open, dropping gracefully out. Wade follows.
“I will make time in my busy day to strap you stupid.” He looks up at Wade.
“What the fuck?” A guard stares at them, drawing his gun. “Where did you come from?”
“Can we ignore the no kill rule?” Wade purrs, smoothly drawing out his gun. “If I promise to use you like a fleshy little fuck toy the moment we get back? I won’t even let you breathe until you’re about to pass out.”
“You are not allowed to use dick sucking against me, Deadpool.” Peter webs the guy to the wall, tapping his hand against Wade’s gun, a privilege that only he can get away with. “First rule of fucking each other.”
“What are the other rules?”
Peter rolls his eyes fondly under the mask. Wade can just tell.
“No for real – I have a lot of questions.”
“Shut the fuck up Wade.”
“Make me.”
And Peter did, to the detriment of every single henchman unlucky enough to pass by. Wade didn’t kill them, but he knows they all wish he had.