Work Text:
When Kaveh finishes his grand masterpiece, the Palace of Alcazarzaray, he realizes he needs inspiration. Desperately. Lest he wants people knowing he is in major debt and currently taking up residence with the bane of his existence.
He figures he needs something to occupy his time instead of going to Lambad’s tavern and getting plastered, hoping to find creativity in the swirling ambers of fine Sumerian liquor. Despite his obvious reluctance to do so, that’s exactly what Kaveh finds himself doing. It’s a warm summer night, perfect for being out and about in the main parts of the city. Now, Kaveh likes to think he doesn’t drink much (his growing tab under Alhaitham’s name says otherwise), but after he downs a substantial amount of alcohol and is wandering around town, trying to remember the way back to his shared house, he can’t help but think the columns and arches of the city’s buildings look even more stunning than usual. He finds many shots of the strong stuff somehow enhance the colors and etchings of the proud edifices. A cool breeze sweeps through the streets, and despite being dizzy enough for it to knock him over, Kaveh can agree that it feels nice across his back and through his hair. Hell, just being out of that house and away from his insufferable roommate feels like a breath of fresh air.
He wanders around some more, gazing up at the more intricate carvings one can find on the regional architecture here, and his mind drifts back to why he was at the bar in the first place. It was a typical night, Kaveh was in his room working on sketches and ideas for things that will never see the light of day. Alhaitham had been gone for a while, and Kaveh found he worked best when there were no pesky scholars around to annoy him and insult his craft. Not that he was currently making anything of note anyway. It seems all motivation had exited his body as soon as the finishing touch was put on his palace. He groaned in frustration when he thought about the major debt he had accumulated from that. Alhaitham would never let him live it down, for sure. He liked to hang that over Kaveh’s head when Kaveh was being especially bratty, taunting him by reminding him of his current living situation. It wasn’t that Kaveh wasn’t grateful for the free housing and free liquor Alhaitham provided. It was just that he’d sooner see his palace catch flame before ever admitting he was beholden to Alhaitham and his… kindness. Alright, maybe that was a stretch, but the thought alone was enough to force him out his room and onto the streets, his feet following a path he could walk in his sleep to the tavern.
Now, here he was, trekking back to his stuffy room with only the houseplants for company. When he ultimately stumbled his way back to his accommodations, he fumbled with the keys for a bit and turned the door. He stepped into the open hallway and almost tripped trying to get his shoes off his feet. As he struggled to stay upright, all the alcohol he had previously consumed now seemed to catch up with him, and he eventually gave up on freeing his feet and instead made his way to his room. He had originally intended on going straight to bed, but he took in the desolate house and his thoughts turned back to Alhaitham, and his lack of inspiration, and his debt, and how everything that had ever happened to Kaveh at this point in his life must be Alhaitham’s fault. This made sense to his drunken mind, so in spite of his inevitable oncoming migraine and terrible hangover he was bound to have in the morning, he sat down at his desk in his room and got to work, hoping the spirits flowing through his veins was enough to let him draw something of worth.
He stayed at that godforsaken desk for who knows how long. It had to be hours because he awoke to morning sun streaming through his curtains and sounds of movement in the kitchen. His mouth felt like he had been gargling sand for fun last night, and his skull felt like it might burst if he turned his head too fast. He groggily sat up, not bothering to look down at what he had been working on last night. Standing up and making his way to the living area was much more trouble than it was worth when he thought about it, but he knew who was there and the fact that he had been missing for a while meant that no matter how bad his migraine was, Kaveh was determined to annoy some answers out of his roommate.
“I see you’re back in one piece,” Kaveh said as nonchalantly as he could manage with a pounding headache and probably severe dehydration. Alhaitham didn’t even look up as Kaveh entered the room, just sat at the dining room table reading some obscure book. He probably swiped it from the Akademiya’s restricted section.
“I see you have a truly terrible hangover,” Alhaitham retorted, faux sympathy laced in his voice. “Did another one of your little craft projects fall through?”
Kaveh growled and set down the mug he was currently filling with coffee down forcefully, dark brown liquid threatening to overflow. “No,” he ground out, trying not to let himself get mad. He sat down across from Alhaitham. “I was simply relishing the quiet atmosphere when I realized you were gone and decided to go get a drink.”
Alhaitham finally looked at him then, his visible eye narrowed as if scrutinizing Kaveh, which he probably was. He just hummed and turned back to his book, took another sip of coffee, and went about ignoring Kaveh. This wouldn’t do.
“As much as I enjoyed your absence, where were you?” Kaveh was hoping he appeared uninterested, not wanting to give his roommate any ammunition.
“Oh, you know. Just saving Sumeru and exposing the Akademiya’s dark schemes.” He was still reading that infuriating book, analyzing the words and paying no attention to Kaveh.
Kaveh’s eyes narrowed in irritation. He downed the rest of his coffee and abruptly pushed away from the table. “Fine, if you don’t want to tell me you could have just said that, instead of lying to me, thinking I would believe you.”
Alhaitham sighed but said nothing, eventually setting his book down and also standing up. “If that’s what you choose to think, so be it.” With that cryptic message, he grabbed his house keys and walked out the door, leaving Kaveh to ponder over his words. He eventually gave up trying to understand what Alhaitham meant, choosing to believe he said all that just to mess with Kaveh’s mind. Kaveh gripped the back of the chair and forced himself to stop thinking about his roommate, instead electing to take a shower and try his best to be a functioning member of society.
As he exited the bathroom, feeling much more human than he was moments prior, he was going to his closet to pick out fresh clothes when he suddenly remembered what he had been doing the night before. With near hesitance, he made his way over to his desk, trying not to get his hopes up that maybe, just maybe, in a drunken haze, he had created yet another masterpiece. Not necessarily another palace, but maybe an invention, or some other beautiful work of art.
What he saw instead was… not what he was expecting, to say the least.
Kaveh stared down in a sort of disembodied horror as his eyes roamed across his roommates face sketched masterfully onto the paper. Normally, Kaveh usually drew up designs for buildings and other structures, using his archon given talent to make architectural plans. Drunk Kaveh had other ideas of what to use his skills on. The drawings were beautiful, he begrudgingly admitting, never one to neglect his strengths, or neglect the objective allure Alhaitham had about him. Yes, even proud Kaveh could admit Alhaitham was attractive, all in an artistic way, of course. Personality wise, Kaveh detested the man. But the way he had captured him on the page made him look almost… soft. Almost like he wasn’t the most obnoxious person Kaveh has ever had the misfortune of meeting. Kaveh could understand all this.
What he couldn’t understand, however, is why he drew him like this, or why he drew Alhaitham at all. What he had been searching for last night when he went out drinking was inspiration, for buildings he was sure. Now though, a small part of him recalled being in the tavern, and speaking to the owner at the bar. Lambad had asked him where Alhaitham was, for he usually appeared around the same time every night Kaveh went out drinking to drag him back home and toss him on his bed. Kaveh couldn’t remember exactly what he replied with, but it must have been something pathetic because Alhaitham once assured him that he was a very sad and chatty drunk, both being things Alhaitham abhorred. Perhaps he said something along the lines of Alhaitham being gone, and having no one to walk him back home and make sure he got there in one piece. He must have gotten up at some point during this conversation and left, Alhaitham still fresh on his mind as he wandered the streets of Sumeru city in search for his next big project.
When he got home he probably sat down and got to work mapping out the different contours of his roommate’s face.
Kaveh let out a strangled groan and buried his face in hands out of sheer embarrassment. He couldn’t believe he had done that! He wanted nothing more than to burn the drawings and get on with pretending this never happened. Mustering up the courage to look back at his desk and come face to face with his sketches, he was planning to do exactly that. But one look at the pages confirmed one thing Kaveh had been dreading. Yes, this may very well be one of the best things he has drawn in a while, and he felt very strongly about art and beautiful things. Realizing he didn’t have the fortitude to suck it up and toss the pictures away, he made up his mind and swiftly gathered up the numerous pages. Archons, how many did he draw? He shifted through all of them and found some were even better than the last. If Alhaitham ever saw these… Kaveh didn’t even want to think about it as he piled all the drawings together and stuffed them in the locked drawer in his desk.
There, that should do it. Alhaitham knew better than to come into Kaveh’s room either way, but better safe than sorry. With the drawings safely secured, awareness soon dawned on Kaveh and mortification gripped him once more, stronger than before. He sunk to the floor and leaned against his bed, hands in his hair and red flush across his face.
Oh dear, he thought, this might be a problem.
…
Weeks passed without incident. Alhaitham had once again taken up residence in his room, and Kaveh learned from rumors at the bar that there had in fact been some conspiracy the Akademiya had been plotting, and Alhaitham had been telling the truth that morning of his return. If he were anyone else, Kaveh might have felt he owed him an apology, but considering they had never once said sorry to each other without contempt, he figured it would be more concerning than just leaving the matter be.
Kaveh and Alhaitham rarely saw each other on account of Alhaitham being the new Acting Grand Sage, at least for the time being. He had told Kaveh multiple times that he intended to revoke the position and become Scribe once again, deeming the job too tiring and not at all fitting of his status and ideals.
Due to the current state of the Akademiya and the new Acting Grand Sage, Alhaitham got back at late hours, sometimes not even returning, opting to spend the night in office and continue working. Kaveh knew that he wasn’t sleeping from the first time he came back after being gone for two days, dark bags beneath his eyes and noncommittal words whenever Kaveh tried to speak to him. It got so bad that Kaveh stopped expecting him, and things slowly returned to how they were when Alhaitham was off saving Sumeru’s archon and Kaveh was lamenting his lack of genius at local taverns.
With Alhaitham gone, Kaveh was no longer restricted to working in his room, his back becoming stiff from sitting in the same position from hours on end. Being out in a more open space helped Kaveh much more than being at a cramped desk.
After what Kaveh has since then labeled ‘the incident’ (not very creative, but in his defense, he has a lot going on right now), whenever Alhaitham is gone and Kaveh is fresh out of creativity, he pulls out his drawing pad and draws his roommate. At first, Kaveh hadn’t even noticed he was doing it. It just felt natural, and that was the part that scared Kaveh. Whatever push and pull dynamic he had with his roommate certainly didn’t extend to this. This, which included obsessively sketching his roommates lips every time he was away for more than a few hours. Or spending more than fifteen minutes just making sure the line of his nose was as close to reality as he could get. At this point, only about a month after ‘the incident,’ Kaveh had two sketchbooks worth of exclusively his roommate. And he hated to admit it, but he felt it was helping. Kaveh usually prayed for inspiration to come in the form of genius blueprints, the next big thing in the architectural world. But for the first time in what he would consider forever, Kaveh felt the undesirable pull to paint again. It had been a long time since he had done any kind of drawing that wasn’t related to his work, but he had to confess that he missed making art simply for the sake of having fun with it. A large reason he even went to the Akademiya to study architecture was his parent’s insistence that he use his talents to make money and help support Sumeru’s citizens. While of course, he loved designing buildings and inventions, he could never forget the feeling of drawing just because he could. It’s ironic, actually, how this job his parents promised would help others and support him has caused him almost nothing but stress and landed him in unpayable debt.
When he drew Alhaitham, he wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt a sense of rightness. Despite how much he hated the man, some beauty could not be ignored in an artist’s eyes. So he kept drawing him, over and over again.
Things had started to calm down at the Akademiya, and Alhaitham was so close to convincing people he simply was not the Grand Sage they needed, so he was home more often. It was nothing like before, when he would come home late and immediately fall asleep, only to wake up early to go to the Akademiya and do the same thing every day.
Now he was mostly at home, claiming he was granted some vacation time in light of all he has done to keep the entire academic world from crashing to the ground. This of course was not a problem, it was Alhaitham’s house, for archon’s sake. It's just that Kaveh had been out in the living room when Alhaitham returned to tell him the news. He had been out in the living room drawing when he returned, and if that wasn’t suspicious enough (Kaveh barely leaves his room, and when he does he certainly doesn’t work on anything, he just lies around and complains about the state of the world and how he could use a drink), as soon as Alhaitham opened the door, Kaveh jumped and pulled his sketchbook close to his chest and stared at Alhaitham, guilt probably written all over his face despite his best attempts to hide it.
Alhaitham clearly saw through him, but didn’t mention anything about Kaveh’s strange behavior. It was a small mercy, but mercy nonetheless.
“So, uh, I hear things have slowed down a bit at the Akademiya?” Kaveh tried, desperately trying to keep the subject of conversation away from himself by giving Alhaitham an outlet to complain about the incompetence of his workers.
It did the trick. Alhaitham’s face instantly scrunched up as he undoubtedly thought about the multitude of problems he was dealing with. “I’d prefer not to talk about work when I’ve just been given time off, but yes, things are slowly regaining some sense of normalcy.” He sat down right next to Kaveh on the sofa, and Kaveh unconsciously clutched the sketchbook tighter to his chest. Alhaitham looked at him weirdly again, and Kaveh could tell the question was coming before he even opened his mouth.
“Why do you keep doing that?” Alhaitham sounded slightly annoyed, but mostly curious, eyebrows furrowing as he observed Kaveh.
Kaveh feigned ignorance and sniffed indignantly, “I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Alhaitham rolled his eyes at this. “I know you’re a bit slow but you’re not stupid.” Kaveh glared at him as he continued on. “I’ll take pity on you. What’s the deal with the drawing pad?”
Kaveh had expected him to ask at some point, but no amount of thinking it over lended him an answer better than something along the lines of ‘I’m working on something very important that will make me lots of money and you absolutely cannot see’ would not cut it. The last time Kaveh landed a gig that promised money and fame, he wouldn’t stop talking about it, showing Alhaitham different aspects of it as if he cared, and even asking for input when he got stumped. No, if he got another job, Alhaitham would be the first to know.
And so, Kaveh spit out the first thing that popped into his mind.
“Uhh…” How eloquent.
Alhaitham’s eyes narrowed until he was full on glaring at Kaveh, like it was his archon given right to see whatever Kaveh was spending his time drawing whenever he so pleased. Kaveh bristled at the thought.
“Look,” he said firmly, “I’m allowed some privacy. If I don’t want you to see what I’m drawing, I don’t have to show you.” He glowered at Alhaitham from the corner of his eye, arms still tightly wrapped around the book. He knew he was being a brat, but there was no way in Celestia he was letting his roommate see what he filled his sketchbook with when he had free time. And Kaveh had a lot of free time.
Alhaitham practically growled, “You’ve been so secretive these past few weeks; we barely see each other and when we do you go and avoid me. I want to know why.”
Kaveh turned to look at him fully now, taking in his expression. He looked angry, which was the one emotion Kaveh was familiar with on his face besides sheer boredom. He also looked strangely… hurt. As if Kaveh ignoring him had caused some great mental distress. Kaveh did with this information what anyone in his situation would do.
He exploited it.
Kaveh smirked, mock compassion in his voice as he cooed, “Aw, did Alhaitham miss me?” Alhaitham’s frown deepened. “Do you not get enough attention in your big office at the Akademiya?” An eye twitch. At this point, Kaveh was just being obnoxious. He rarely ever got to tease Alhaitham, and with great power comes great responsibility. “Did you wish I was there with you, Haitham?” Alright, maybe he took it a step too far with the nickname. The words were barely out of his mouth before the entire world flipped and suddenly he was on his back. Alhaitham was above him, scowling down at him. His arms were at Kaveh’s sides, and his face was entirely too close to his own to make it humanly possible to breathe.
Alhaitham’s chest was pressed up against his own, so Kaveh could feel when he breathed out, “You are such a brat, Kaveh.” Kaveh decided he never wanted anyone but Alhaitham to say his name ever again. He could feel the rumble in Alhaitham’s chest when he spoke, could feel his breath against his face. His grip on the book loosened and he began to hold his breath in anticipation when Alhaitham’s gaze flickered downwards.
And then, without warning, the sketchbook was ripped from his hands and he was shoved onto the floor, the spell unquestionably broken.
“Alhaitham, you absolute asshole!” Kaveh yelled from his place on the floor, where he was currently scrambling to get up. Alhaitham was already off the couch and flipping furiously through the pages, pacing around the room.
Kaveh was finally up but it was too late. Althaitham had stopped his pace around the room and was standing still, only his fingers moving as he turned each page in the book. He looked up at Kaveh with mild surprise on his face.
Kaveh could feel humiliation and contempt rising within him as he ground out. “I. Hate. You.” His fingernails were digging into his palm as he clenched them by his side. He marched over to where Alhaitham stood speechless and tore the sketchbook from his hands.
Alhaitham finally snapped out of his trance when Kaveh started to storm off, presumably to hide in his room. “Kaveh, wait–”
His call was promptly cut off by the slamming of Kaveh’s door as he locked himself away. Kaveh couldn’t believe this. How stupid did you have to be to spend hours drawing your roommate who hated your guts and you hated his right back? Or at least, Kaveh thought he hated him. In his case, it might have been some weird misdirected desire (He’s pretty sure he does still hate him, though, if his earlier words are anything to go by).
Kaveh was content to sit in his room and stew in his misery all day when he heard a sigh and soft knock at his door only minutes later.
“Kaveh.” Alhaitham called out. Kaveh didn’t answer, still too mortified to speak. Why couldn’t Alhaitham just leave him alone? Was it not enough for him to put Kaveh through mental anguish in peace that he had to actually see him suffer?
“Kaveh, I am not leaving until you either say something or open the door.”
Kaveh still didn’t respond, just burrowed deeper into the mound of blankets he accumulated in almost no time. At first, Alhaitham tried to say his name, but quickly switched to knocking incessantly on the door. Despite his unwillingness to open the door, it soon became annoying. Alhaitham most definitely knew this and said, “I’ll stop if you at least make some noise confirming you’re alive and listening.”
Considering the offer, Kaveh poked his head out from under the blankets and eventually decided to get this whole mess over with. He shuffled out from under the covers and padded across the floors to his bedroom door. He opened the door and glared at Alhaitham before allowing him in.
Neither of them said anything as they sat on Kaveh’s bed. Kaveh certainly doesn’t plan on starting, leaving it entirely up to Alhaitham. Eventually, Alhaitham sighed, refusing to look at Kaveh as he spoke.
“Look–” He started.
“Archons, don’t even say it.” Kaveh interrupted, all previous plans of not saying anything and accepting his decadence with some semblance of self preservation. It seemed he hadn't even got that left. “I know it’s… creepy, but you have to understand–” He abruptly cut off, not sure where he was going with that.
Alhaitham turned to the way away from Kaveh, finding his bookshelf extremely interesting. “The drawings… They were good.” He said it quietly, and it was then that Kaveh realized that this is new to both of them. They were both uncomfortable sitting here, trying to name all the emotions they had both unknowingly been keeping down for years.
This is probably the first time in years they had been in the same room and were doing something besides actively antagonizing each other. It didn’t last long.
“It’s kind of stupid, though,” Alhaitham said, killing the silent mood indefinitely. Kaveh glared at him, retort ready on his tongue, when Alhaitham continued, “Pretending you hate your roommate when in actuallity you’re in love with them.” he said coolly.
Kaveh snorted, “No, I wasn’t pretending, I actually do hate–” He snapped his mouth shut when he processed the rest of his sentence, heat rising on his cheeks as he yelled, “Who said anything about love?! I tolerate you, at best!”
Alhaitham snorted and said, “Oh, of course, my mistake.” But when he looked at Kaveh, there was fondness in his gaze, barely there, but evident if you knew him. Kaveh liked to think he knew him just a bit.
Kaveh glanced away and asked, “Well, what about you? Pretty stupid of you, as well, don’t you think?”
A hand on his cheek guided him back to meet Alhaitham’s gaze, and before he knew it, their lips touched for the briefest moment before Alhaitham pulled back again. There was hesitation in his eyes, and no, Kaveh could not allow that. He smirked and touched his forehead to Alhaitham’s, whispering, “Stupid of both of us. Just think of all the ways we could have made up after arguments instead of just pretending nothing happened.”
Alhaitham rolled his eyes, a small, rare smile on his lips. Kaveh wanted to feel that smile against his lips, and despite not knowing where this was going, he got the impression that was allowed now. “Admit it, you and I both know even if we are together, we would still pretend nothing happened.” And yes, he did have a point.
Kaveh hummed, “We’ll just have to work on that, then.” He grinned, “Working out our emotions and all that.”
Alhaitham matched his grin with a glint in his eye as he replied, “I can’t help but agree.”
…
“The drawings really were nice–” Alhaitham began as they were lying in Kaveh’s bed, not willing to move from this spot until the sun woke them up.
“Shut up,” Kaveh mumbled as he leaned up from where his head rested on Alhaitham’s chest and placed a kiss on his lips, just because he could. He had to say, one of his favorite developments from this whole feelings thing had to be that now he no longer needed witty remarks to silence his annoying boyfriend (While he was still getting used to the word, Kaveh quite liked the way it rolled off his tongue. Moments prior, he had been lying on his back and repeating the word over and over to get a taste of what it felt like coming from his mouth. Alhaitham had hit him with a pillow and eventually got him to shut up).
“I think,” Alhaitham continued after their lips had separated, “that you should draw me more often. The angles are really quite flattering.”
“You narcissist,” Kaveh mumbled, eyes drifting shut as Alhaitham played with his hair, gently tugging at it and braiding it.
“You love me,” Alhaitham said.
And even if Alhaitham said it jokingly, even if they weren’t willing to admit it to the other just yet, Kaveh could agree that, yes, he could see himself falling in love with this idiot someday, and he knew the same was true for Alhaitham. All it would take is some time, and maybe communication skills.
Other than that, they had all the time in the world.