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Steve wonders why James Bucanan Barnes is still friends with him, as he stands outside on the street, waiting for him to answer his knock on the door. They grew up together as kids, sure, but now that they’re 18, and Steve had failed to grow out of his childhood asthma, failed to grow at all, really, he is no obvious friend of popular, handsome, strapping, James Barnes. Still, Bucky stays firmly by his side, seeming to notice no difference between them.
The door swings open. Mrs Barnes smiles down on him.
“Hello Steve.”
“Mam.” He nods.
She chuckles at his formality.
“Come in, dear. Call me Jean, how many times?” She ushers him inside. “Are you well? How’s the chest?”
“Yeah, it’s okay, still on my inhalers.”
“Steve!” Bucky calls from his room.
“Wait, I made you both some lemonade, take that in with you.”
She hands Steve two glasses of sparkling yellow liquid.
“Thank you.”
Bucky is lying on his bed reading the newspaper but swings his legs around to make room for Steve. Steve probably could have fit on the end anyway.
Bucky’s wearing a white tank top and brown slacks, held up by braces, and Steve wishes he could fill his clothes so well. It doesn’t help that Bucky has a full head of dark hair. Tall, dark and handsome. It’s not fair. Bucky takes the lemonade from Steve’s hands that are struggling to hold both glasses and grins.
“She always spoils me when you’re here. She’s soft on you.”
“She’s probably the only woman that ever will be.”
Bucky laughs.
“Shut up. You’re clever Steve, funny, the ladies like that.”
Steve pulled a face.
“If you’d just let me teach you to dance, the women would be all over you,” Bucky says.
Steve laughs.
“I don’t think that’s true. I’m smaller than most of them, so it makes things a little tricky.”
They both take long gulps tactical gulps of their lemonade, making enough room for the vodka that Bucky keeps under his bed that Mrs Barnes definitely knows about.
Bucky tops up their glasses with a wink.
“Like you’ve ever tried. Come on.”
“What?”
“You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York, you’re gonna have to learn how to dance.”
“I think they’d rather dance with each other than me, Buck.”
Bucky takes some more gulps, puts his drink down on the side and pulls Steve up.
“What are we doing?”
“I’m teaching you how to dance, it’s my gift to you, before I go.”
Steve rolls his eyes.
“This is ridiculous.”
“You’ll get beat up all day but you’re too scared to dance?”
“I’m not scared!”
Steve now has little choice in the matter as Bucky puts on a record. Steve gives Bucky a sarcastic look.
“Let me guess, I’m the girl?”
“No!” Bucky laughs. “I’ll teach you to lead.”
Steve purses his lips. He does like the idea of one day having a girlfriend, though he’s long ago written the idea off as ridiculous. Particularly when standing next to Bucky. It probably wouldn’t hurt to learn though.
“Okay, you come closer to me, put your arm round me, hold this my hand here.”
Pressed chest to chest Steve is even more aware of their height difference. Its more chest to Bucky’s stomach. And how big Bucky’s hands are in this own. They feel enormous on his waist. His back. He breaths in the lavender washing powder Mrs Barnes always uses. It smells like home.
Bucky has put on a slow tune, and Bucky tries to instruct Steve how to guide him round the room, despite Steve’s protesting that it is impossible to guide someone who’s twice the size of you.
“I am not twice the size of you.”
They pause to take another drink. Steve loves the way Bucky’s eyes start to sparkle when he’s tipsy and up to something.
Steve feels clumsy against Bucky’s practiced steps, his confidence.
“Okay, once you’ve got the hang of the feet you need to stop looking at your feet.”
“Where am I supposed to look at then?” Steve looks up and promptly trips over his feet.
Bucky laughs and catches him.
“At whoever you’re dancing with, or over their shoulder.”
Steve gives Bucky a sceptical look.
“Well, you know what I mean.”
He takes Steve’s chin in his hands and lifts it up. It makes Steve feel a little funny. Bucky’s fingers on his skin.
“Chin up, soldier.”
“I still can’t see over your shoulder.”
Bucky smirks at him and grabs his waist, lifting him up off the floor easily.
“Hey!” Steve protests.
“How about now?”
“Yeah, okay, now I can see over your shoulder.”
“Tell me if you get an altitude headache.”
“Ass.”
Bucky gives him that charming smile and Steve wishes there was some way he could make himself heavier to wipe it off his face.
“What if I get bored of looking over your shoulder?” Steve asks.
“You’re not meant to get bored. You’re meant to be in the moment, being romantic, you know?”
“No.”
“Close your eyes.”
Steve cannot begin to process what will go through Mrs Barnes’ head if she were to walk in right now. Steve closes his eyes. Bucky continues humming under his breath, counting his steps and carrying him round the room. Bucky feels warm and comforting against him, he can feel stubble he could never hope to grow against his cheek, his warm breath on his ear. Down his neck. It’s nice. Real nice.
The music comes to a stop, leaving them with the quiet buzz of the gramophone.
“Then what?”
Bucky drops Steve down to the floor without warning and Steve clatters on the floor.
“Idiot.”
“Then you say thank you for the dance, you dip you head,” Bucky does and then looks up at Steve with playful eyes. “Can I buy you a drink, ma’am?”
Steve laughs. Bucky makes him feel so safe. Warm.
“And then they fall at your feet?” Steve asks.
“That’s the idea.” Bucky smirks and jumps back on his bed, leaning back against the wall.
Steve joins him, taking a gulp of lemonade and using his inhaler.
“You alright?”
“Yeah, fine.” Steve takes another puff, and his chest relaxes.
He looks at Bucky’s military uniform in the corner and sighs heavily. Bucky is leaving in tomorrow. That’s why Steve came over, though neither have mentioned it yet. Trying to ignore it. Not happening. Steve definitely isn’t having his best friend in the world torn away from him. No.
“There recruiting again down at the docks tomorrow, I might try out again,” Steve says, focuses on the camo print.
Bucky rolls his eyes.
“Who are you gonna be this time? Clark Gable?”
“I was feeling more like a John, actually. Maybe a Paul,” Steve says.
Bucky shakes his head.
“Steve you could get arrested.”
“I was made to serve my country.”
Bucky can’t hide the way his eyes are drawn to Steve’s inhaler, and Steve tries not to bristle. The unspoken ‘were you?’ hanging in the air.
“Don’t you worry, I’ll be out there with you before you know it,” Steve says.
Bucky sighs.
“There’s still plenty to do here, Steve. You know that.”
Steve doesn’t hear him. He never does.
“Easy for you to say,” Steve reaches across Bucky for the paper that’s on his bed side table. Its headline screams they are close to victory if they could just get more men.
Bucky sighs, pushing himself up on the bed. He puts his hand over Steve’s and stops him.
He catches Steve’s cheek and turns Steve’s eyes towards him.
“Lessons not over.”
“No?”
Steve’s mouth feels dry. He breaks out of Bucky’s grip to take another gulp of lemonade.
“I feel a little nervous, that’s all,” Bucky says. “Leaving you to be ravaged by the ladies of New York and not be there to hear about it.”
Steve rolls his eyes.
“Like that’s gonna happen.”
“I’m serious. I’m gonna miss you. What am I gonna do if I’m not saving your stupid ass all the time. And who am I gonna tell about my dates, and who are you gonna tell about your dates? What if you lose your virginity and I’m not there to hear about it?”
Steve laughs, the idea that this is Bucky’s problem with going to war is incomprehensible.
“I could wait till you got back if you like. I don’t think there’s a queue.”
Bucky sighs and rests his head against Steve’s shoulder. They both know Steve isn’t going. Steve knows deep down, no one would take him like this.
He puts his arm round Bucky’s shoulder. He can’t stand to see him down.
“It won’t be for long, they say it’s nearly over now, and then you can come home, and I’ll be right here waiting for you, like your best girl.” Steve doesn’t know what makes him say it, he doesn’t want Bucky to think he’s...funny.
“You’d better be.”
Bucky smiles.
“You wanna go out dancing tonight?” Bucky asks. They hadn’t decided what they were going to do.
Steve can think of a million things he’d rather do and it must show on his face cos Bucky laughs.
“Okay, that’s fine, we can dance right here,” Bucky says.
Whilst Steve’s trying to work out whether that’s a suitable trade-off Bucky necks the rest of his glass and pulls him to his feet.
“Right, you remember what I taught you?”
Steve looks up and grins.
“Nope.”
Bucky rolls his eyes.
“Come on, Rogers. You’re not even trying. It’s my last night you know.”
“Yeah, Buck,” Steve sighs. “I know.”
He let’s Bucky put on another record and lead him round the room. It feels nice to be close.
“I guess I just don’t know why you like dancing so much,” Steve says.
Bucky gives him a knowing smile, lifts him back up and rests his forehead against Steve’s.
“Put your legs round my waist.”
“What?!”
“You’re getting heavy.”
“I very much doubt that.” He does it anyway, risking Bucky tripping and sending them both flying.
Bucky walks round the room with Steve.
“This is why I like it. It’s close and it feels nice.” He buries his head in Steve’s neck and Steve feels a weird lurch in his chest. It does feel nice.
“I’m gonna miss you, Buck,” Steve says.
“I know. No one to save you.”
Steve quirks a smile. He still has the funny feeling in his chest he can’t quite place. It’s warm. Bucky’s arms around his waist are warm. And he smells good. So good. But his chest.
“Buck?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I need my inhaler.”
“Ah shit, sorry Steve.”
He carries him over to the bed and sits down gently, passing him his inhaler. It feels tight.
Steve gasps in the vapor and calms.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Steve takes in a deep breath. He’s very aware he’s now sitting in Bucky’s lap, his legs spread over Bucky’s and Bucky’s acting like it’s totally normal.
Bucky looks restless.
“You wanna go out?” Steve asks.
“I want...” Bucky falters.
Which is very unlike Bucky. Bucky who has an answer to everything, and a sarcastic comment to go with it.
“I want to take you to see a movie.”
“A movie? Sure.”
“I want to take you out to dinner.”
“As well? You win the lottery, Buck?”
“No, Steve, you don’t understand, I... I wanna…”
Steve starts to wonder if Bucky started drinking before he got there.
“Are you drunk, soldier? When you’re shipping out tomorrow?”
“I do believe it’s customary to get drunk the night before and have one last night with your sweetheart.”
“Well, you’d have to pick one. Is it Margaret, Betty, or Sandra?”
Bucky laughs, resting his head forward on Steve’s shoulder. Steve runs his hand through Bucky’s hair without thinking. Soft.
“You forgot about Mary,” Bucky tells Steve’s shoulder.
“Oh, is Mary the favorite now?”
“No. No.” He laughs. “Steve.” He whispers in his ear. “You’re my favorite. And I wanna show you how it feels. I wanna take care of you.”
Steve feels a shiver and is sure Bucky isn’t implying what he thinks he is.
“What do you mean?”
He’s still stroking Bucky’s hair, he does sometimes. Bucky always seems to like it. Leans into him. Damn near purring like a cat.
Steve’s not sure how it happens but Bucky’s lips brush against his. His brain fails to make sense of it. James Bucky Barnes. The most handsome, intelligent, kind man he’s ever met has lightly touched his lips to Steve’s.
He looks up at Steve with wide eyes. His lips slightly parted as he hovers them in front of Steve’s.
“Buck...” Steve whispers against his lips. He’s searching Bucky’s face for clues and finding only those sincere blue eyes staring back at him.
“Well, you gotta get some practice in Steve.” He kisses him again.
His first kiss. With his best friend. He can’t work out if it’s sweet or pathetic. Then Bucky opens his lips, and he loses the ability to think properly at all.
He feels clumsy, his teeth clashing against Bucky’s, but Bucky guides him. And he can’t be that bad because…and Steve’s trying to ignore it but... but he can feel Bucky’s hard cock between his legs. And he’s getting the awful urge to rock his hips against it.
Bucky’s tongue slides inside his mouth and Steve loses control. He rocks.
Bucky moans into his mouth and Steve’s cock is rock hard.
“Bucky?” Mrs Barnes’ voice at the door and a knock.
Steve nearly falls off Bucky’s lap, but Bucky has an iron grip on his hips.
“Yeah mom?”
“I’m going out with Betty, dinners on the stove. Some for Steve too!”
“Thank you!” they both chorus back.
Steve’s cheeks burn. He’s not sure he’ll ever be able to look her in the eyes again.
The door slams as she leaves, leaving them alone in the apartment.
Bucky’s mouth is on Steve’s neck and Steve outright moans cos that feels divine, grinding his hips down despite telling himself they cannot, should not, be doing this.
Bucky nips him with his teeth and Steve’s hips jerk down.
“You’re not just doing this cos you feel sorry for me are you?” Steve blurts.
Bucky’s lips move up to his ear.
“Feeling sorry for people doesn’t get me hard.”
Steve fails to find a counter argument. Bucky’s lips crash back into his. Steve moves his hands cautiously over Bucky’s back, exploring his shape, his skin. He’s pushing down Bucky’s braces. Lifting up his top and chucking it off. He has no idea what he’s doing. That’s never stopped him before.
“Damn,” Steve mutters as Bucky’s bare skin is exposed to him. He wants. He kisses down Bucky’s neck, his shoulder. He pushes Bucky back on the bed, exploring his chest with his hands, his teeth.
Bucky groans at the loss of friction on his dick. Steve gulps down his reservations and palms Bucky’s erection through his slacks.
“Steve,” Bucky hisses through his teeth.
Steve has never previously understood the idea of being so mad with passion you’d do something reckless, stupid, risk everything – wives, families, jobs. He understands just fine now. He feels mad. On fire. Possessed. Bucky looks about the same. He looks feral, like he’s only just holding himself back from throwing Steve over the bed. His knuckles are turning white from clinging onto the sheets.
He pulls off Bucky’s slacks and underwear. Bucky’s staring down at him now in disbelief. His cock is hard and glistening and Steve has no other idea of what to do with it apart from put it in his mouth.
“Steve!” Bucky stares at him, eyes glazing over. Continuing in disbelief.
Steve has never thought of doing this to another man. He’s not even thought of a girl doing it to him. He couldn’t imagine they would enjoy it so asking for it sounded rude and impolite. Now he wants nothing but Bucky’s dick in his mouth. He slides his lips down, feeling it heavy in his mouth. He licks and sucks and tries everything he can think of, listening for Bucky’s reaction of what’s best. He likes it when he sucks on the tip. When he pushes it to the back of his throat.
“Steve!”
Yeah. That’s his favorite. Steve gags a little but pushes it down his throat. His is nothing if not stubborn and determined. Bucky hips jump.
“Fuck! Steve! Steve that’s so good oh my god if you had any idea what you looked like right now I swear to god...oh god”
Bucky’s clutching the back of Steve’s head. His fingers in his short hair.
He’s desperate. Steve wonders how long Bucky’s wanted this. He wonders how long he’s wanted it himself. Cos now, it’s like Bucky’s flicked a switch. He is ravenous.
“Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve.” Bucky pulls him up.
“What?”
“Will you let me fuck you?”
“Uh... “ time stops for a second. Bucky’s desperate wild eyes are all there is. “Yeah but I don’t... Know h...how.” He stutters. “Do you?”
Bucky shakes his head. Steve is secretly relieved that he hasn’t been doing this with someone else and hasn’t told him. Bucky tells him everything.
“It can’t be that difficult,” Bucky says.
Steve agrees and let’s Bucky undress him.
His clothes go flying under Bucky’s eager fingers. He’s desperate, aroused, and crazed and Steve stalls for a moment trying to think why anyone would feel that way about him.
Bucky’s hand on his dick halts his thoughts.
“Oh shit.”
Bucky laughs.
“Rogers, language.” He purrs in his ear.
“Your hand feels huge on me. Oh god.” Steve gasps. He looks down. Bucky’s hands are huge on him. That’s why. His eyes roll back, and he moans.
“Yeah, Stevie, you like that?”
Steve nods helplessly.
Bucky moves down. Tongue flicking out. Steve has to close his eyes. He can’t take it.
He is lying on the floor on his back and he has no idea how he got there. Bucky is sucking him off and it is the most warm, beautiful, perfect pleasure he’s ever felt.
It is so many million miles away from wanking and Steve is fast losing control.
“Stop, stop I...if you wanna I...”
Bucky thankfully understands him perfectly and pushes him onto his front.
“Thought you said you didn’t know what you were doing?”
“I might have...seen some cartoons.”
Bucky reaches to his bedside cabinet and pulls out a tub of Vaseline and a condom.
Steve stares. It was right next to the vodka. Was Bucky planning this or...
He’s again cut off by Bucky’s hands. This time on his ass.
“Feel like I’m gonna break you in two,” Bucky mutters. “They say you gotta relax.”
Steve’s brain can’t form the words to ask who the hell they are. Bucky strokes Steve’s cock with one hand and his other moves over his ass and one slick finger is sliding inside him.
“It feels weird then it’s meant to feel good,” Bucky babbles. “And then it’s meant to feel real good if you get it just right... Does it feel good?”
Steve’s whole world is collapsing beneath him cos yeah. It feels damn good.
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Steve laughs at Bucky’s tone.
“And he said I should...” he mutters to himself and then curls his finger inside Steve and Steve gasps.
“Buck! That... That... “ his voice shakes.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you.”
“N...no. It feels good, whatever you just did.”
“That?”
“Yes!” It’s a place inside him that feels like raw untapped pleasure. Warm and hot and electric. “Oh... Jesus god Buck that feels...”
He gasps as Bucky pushes another finger in, still pumping his dick with his other hand.
“Oh god. Buck.”
“Do you think that’s enough?” Bucky’s asks breathlessly.
His hard cock is pushing against Steve’s thigh.
“Yeah, yeah, try it.”
Its happening like a blur. Steve hears the rip of the condom wrapper. And then Bucky’s dick is on him. Pushing.
Bucky groans in his ear.
“Oh damn. Steve.”
It’s an inch at a time, and lots of Vaseline, and at some points Steve does feel like he’s been torn in two but the wrecked noises Bucky’s making behind him make him persist.
Eventually his hips meet Steve’s back.
“Oh my god, Steve. Steve that feels. Better than any god damn girl.”
Steve feels a tingle down his spine.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Really. Oh god.” He takes a deep breath. “Wait. Are you okay, Stevie?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Just...” Steve pants. “Big.”
“Thanks, pal.”
Steve laughs and shakes his head.
“Oh my god.”
“Tell me when you’re ready to move.”
“Yeah, try it.” Bucky moves and the guttural sounds that comes from his throat makes Steve try and relax more, take it better, for more of that noise. Forever. Please.
“Ah!” he gasps. It’s a lot. But it does feel good, somewhere underneath the intensity, the burn. He breaths. Deep.
“Are you okay? God, please, tell me if you’re not Stevie I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“I’m okay. It’s just…”
“Can you feel it where I did it before? Let me…” Bucky starts fucking him again, but carefully, tilting Steve’s hips, cautious. And Steve is impressed that Bucky is holding himself together like this, because Steve can hear his heavy breathing behind him. It clearly feels incredible for Bucky, and there he is, trying desperately to hold himself back so he doesn’t hurt Steve. He's about to tell Bucky he’s the best gentleman he’s ever met, when Bucky’s dick grazes that spot inside him and he gasps, shoving himself back against Bucky’s dick, wanting to feel that again.
Bucky yelps in surprise.
“Is that it?”
“Uhuh.” Steve has lost the ability to talk properly.
He thinks it still hurts a bit, but he’s just got distracted by that electric buzz inside him, every time Bucky hits just there.
“Buck…oh god its…Buck…”
Bucky strokes a hand down Steve’s back. His other hand is on Steve’s hips, holding that perfect angle. He’s so much stronger than him that no matter how Steve thrashes, shakes, or arches his back, he keeps that perfect angle.
“Buuuuck,” he moans low, grabbing onto the bed as Bucky starts moving faster. Starts making his world explode.
Bucky’s swearing behind him, losing control, panting. Steve can smell his delicious sweat, wants to lick it off him.
Bucky pulls back and Steve groans.
“No what Bucky what’s wrong?”
Bucky flips Steve onto his back and lifts up his legs.
“I wanna look at ya.” He pushes back inside him and Steve shoves his wrist in his mouth to stop himself screaming.
He feels deeper, better, that spot, but now he can see Bucky over him and it’s making want to come instantly. He holds back. No. This needs to last forever.
Those blue eyes over his, his wide shoulders, those lips. Steve leans up to catch them in his. Bucky kisses him sloppy and wet.
“Shit, Steve, that’s so good. You feel so good. God, doll.”
It slips out and Bucky’s eyes widen at the mistake, but Steve smiles. He likes it. He’s Bucky’s doll now. His best girl. That’s what he’d said.
Bucky smirks. He says nothing. But he knows.
After that every thrust feels like ‘mine’, Bucky is marking his territory, kissing, and biting at his neck before he leaves and it’s the best thing Steve’s felt.
“My best sweetheart…” Bucky purrs in his ear. “You wanna get on top?”
“Uh...”
Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer and rolls them until he’s lying on his back and Steve straddles his legs. Steve pushes himself down, enjoying the view of Bucky spread out beneath him, looking up at Steve like he’s the 8th wonder of the world.
Steve moves his hips, trying to find that spot, nails it, then rides Bucky to his heart’s content. He’s aware his body is screaming at him. His legs, his back, his lungs. He ignores it.
The world is Bucky. And his dick. And the way his hips snap up and pound into Steve, his hands firm on Steve’s waist.
“Stevie you look so good I can’t...oh my god. Doll you are just the most incredible...you’re so hard, look at your dick, you really love this don’t you?” Bucky’s babbling and Steve wonders if Bucky’s close. He knows he can’t last much longer. He just hopes he comes before his body dies the dramatic death that it’s threatening to.
“Yeah, Buck. Yeah, I love it.”
“Stevie, Stevie, c’mere.”
He pulls Steve down on top of him until his head rests on Steve.
“Can you get off like this?” Bucky asks.
Steve nods. He’s not sure how he hasn’t already.
“Let’s get off like this. I’ll take your hips, you touch your cock. Look at me, look at me.”
Steve desperately tries to follow the instructions when all the blood from his brain is definitely in his dick.
Touch your cock. Look at me. The firm instructions make Steve feel lightheaded. He can’t work out why. But he does exactly as he’s told. He yells out, coming the second he touches his dick, with Bucky’s dick thrusting up into him, his blue eyes locked with his own.
“Oh my god.” Bucky stares at him as he comes, looking more aroused than ever. “That’s so fucking hot Steve.”
Steve’s eyes roll back into his head. He thinks this might be the thing that finally kills him as the pleasure rips through his body, almost blinding him as he comes all over Bucky’s stomach.
That’s it for Bucky, and Steve watches his face, entranced, as his mouth drops open, his cheek flush, and he buries his face in Steve’s neck, moaning his name over and over like a prayer and shaking inbetween Steve’s legs as he loses control.
Steve has never seen anything sexier. Ever in his life. He collapses on top of Bucky, regardless of the sticky mess, and only then catches up with his body and realizes his chest is heaving.
“Oh fuck, Stevie,” Bucky says as he comes round. “Stevie, you okay?”
The lust crazed eyes turn to concerned ones and he pushes Steve off, grabbing his inhaler for him off the bed.
He pushes it to his lips and Steve grabs it, pushing it down and breathing it in.
It settles. He looks up and realizes they’re both kneeling on the floor. Bucky’s hand is on the side of Steve’s face and he looks panicked.
“I’m okay.” His breathing calms down. “I’m okay.”
Bucky sags in relief against the bed.
“Oh, thank god. I thought I’d killed you.”
Steve laughed.
“Decent way to go.”
Bucky laughs and shakes his head. They are both covered in each other’s come.
“Bath?”
“Yeah. I can put some of that oil in it for your chest.”
Steve nods. Thinking he’d agree to anything Bucky suggested right then.
He follows Bucky to the bathroom, waiting for his brain to catch up with him and try and make some sense of this. Or not.
Bucky dips a cloth in warm soapy water as the bath fills up and wipes Steve’s stomach, his thighs, his dick, between his legs.
“Oh, shit Steve you’re covered in bruises.”
Steve looks down, still dazed. Bucky’s right. It’s not surprising. Steve bruises like a peach. Bucky’s fingertips are marked on Steve’s hips. Steve likes it. He smiles at them.
“It’s fine, you know what I’m like, they’ll fade.”
Bucky frowns, inspecting the rest of Steve.
“Oh, and your neck...”
Steve looks up in the mirror. A huge hickey adorns his neck. Steve grins.
“Oh, you like it?” Bucky laughs.
“I do. I hope it never fades.”
Bucky laughs and shakes his head.
“I hope you like scarves.”
Steve slides into the bath after Bucky’s inspection. He watches Bucky clean himself up, the cloth sliding over perfect skin, perfect muscle. Then he joins him. He puts in some of the oil that clears Steve’s chest in the vapor. Or it’s supposed to. Bucky’s mum brought it from a woman on the market.
Steve breathes in deep. It does help.
They lie there quietly, and Steve doesn’t think he’s ever been so happy in his life.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Steve laughs. He aches all over. His ass...well he’s not gonna be applying at the docs tomorrow, that’s for sure. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to even work tomorrow.
“Honestly, Buck. I have never felt better.”
Bucky smiles.
“So, who you been getting tips from on how this works?” Steve asks, after Bucky muttering to himself about how it was meant to be done.
Bucky flushes.
“Some guy at the docks…I’m an idiot,” Bucky says, shaking his head and looking at Steve hard from the opposite end of the bath.
“I mean yeah, but why?” Steve teases, running his thumb down the arch of Bucky’s foot and making him jump.
“Jerk. I’m leaving. Tomorrow. I could have done this a lot sooner.”
“Well, you’ll just have to come back alive then, Buck. Cos that ain’t the last time we’re doing that. No way.”
Bucky laughs and smiles at Steve gratefully.
“I just wasn’t sure if you...” Bucky shrugged.
“Neither was I. Guess I’m the real idiot here.”
“Yep,” Bucky agreed with a grin.
Steve flicks water at him.
It’s strange. Steve feels like nothing has changed. They joke with each other in the bath, then go lie in Bucky’s bed, reading his paper, listening a record Bucky’s put on. Maybe this was always them. Except now Bucky occasionally leans over and pecks him on the cheek, his forehead, his lips.
It gets late.
“You staying?”
“Yeah, then your mom and me’ll take you to the train.”
Bucky nods.
“Thank you.”
They have at least remembered to get dressed before Mrs Barnes gets home, into their pajamas, and Steve stays over like normal. Except Bucky is wrapped around Steve tight, holding him to his chest like Steve might blow away in the wind.
This is the goodbye they can never do it public.
“I love you, doll,” Bucky whispers in his ear as he’s falling asleep.
Steve chuckles.
“Love you too, jerk.”
*