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Hot breath hit her lips as Olivia dipped her head down once again to claim Rollin’s lips with her own. She felt the brunette’s mouth ask for entrance and she willingly allowed in, relaxing as their tongues weaving together, the warm lips them moved to her neck leaving a trail on kisses down to her collarbone, careful not to leave any marks, the brunette knew the blonde wouldn’t be pleased about that when it came to work the next day. Eventually the mouth moved to hover above her left breast, taking a brief moment to admire the pale body, trembling a little beneath her, before the warm mouth latched onto the bud below her. Amanda let out a small moan of pleasure, her head tipping back slightly at the sensation of the brunette’s mouth against her nipple, the tanned other hand, came up to the neglected breast and began carefully fondling it, before giving the nipple a firm squeeze causing another moan to fall from the blonde.
It felt so good having the brunette’s hands, mouth, and body on her, she could allow herself to relax and just feel good. Lost in her thoughts she hadn’t noticed that the Olivia had moved lower down her and her teeth ever so slightly against Amanda’s inner thigh.
She froze.
“S-Stop!” she cried out, her whole body was tensed up and she couldn’t do anything to push Olivia away. Luckily, she didn’t have to, the brunette had looked up when she felt the blonde freeze beneath her and was about to ask if she was alright when Amanda had shouted at her to stop.
“Alright baby, I’ve stopped its okay, I’ve stopped.” The brunette went to verbally reassure her moving away from the other woman’s body and sitting herself at the far edge of the bed, close another if Amanda needed her but far enough away that if she needed space, she didn’t feel trapped by the other woman. The blonde responded to her girlfriends words by rolling onto her side and putting her hands between her legs, a few tears slipped down her face and she began trembling, in very much the opposite way that she had been just a few minutes ago.
“Amanda sweetheart? Are you with me honey?” the brunette questioned softly, wanting nothing more than to scoop up her detective and comfort her in her arms, but she was aware that may not be what Amanda needed at the moment. The blonde wasn’t with her at that moment unfortunately, she was in that motel room, with him. She could hear the T.V. in the room across from his, her arms pinned above her head as nipped her inner thigh,
“Please slow down, please I don’t want this, please stop, please,” she begged her voice a mere whisper. The SVU Captain didn’t know what to do, she didn’t want to leave the blonde alone, but she needed to ground her girlfriend and bring her back to the present. Making a quick decision and praying it was the right one, the brunette hurried from the bedroom grabbing some ice and a glass of water and making it back in record time, where the blonde was still begging the memory to stop. Placing the glass of water on her nightstand, she turned to the blonde and perched on the end of the bed again,
“Amanda I am going to take one of your hands for a second,” the brunette said clearly, hoping that it would register with the blonde on some level and wouldn’t make the situation worse. She gently took the wrist of her right hand and tugged it gently from between her legs before dropping the ice into the open palm and closing her fingers around it.
“Come on sweetheart, squeeze that for me, come on baby I’m right here, you’re alright, I’m right here honey.” The cold of the ice seemed to have the desired effect as the detective began following the instructions and squeezing the ice, the trembling beginning to slow down,
“Are you back with me baby?” the brunette questioned softly. The warm, loving voice of her girlfriend seemed to break through the last of her haze,
“Liv?” she whimpered before dropping the ice and throwing herself into her arms.
“Oh baby,” the brunette whispered holding her gently and running her hand up and down her back in what she hoped was a soothing motion,
“I didn’t want to Liv! I didn’t want to,” the blonde began to sob her limbs tightening around her captains body, wanting to be as close to her source of comfort as possible.
“I know you didn’t sweetheart,” she responded and couldn’t help it when her eyes filled with tears of her own.
“P-Patton he r-raped me,” the blonde stuttered out finally going limp in the other woman’s arms,
“I know he did honey, I know and I’m so sorry,” Olivia said sadly, not stopping her motions trying to continue to comfort the other woman.
The two sat in the embrace for a while longer before Amanda requested a shower,
“Are you alright to stand sweetheart?” the brunette asked gently, knowing that after such a big emotional realise she might not be so steady on her feet,
“I-I don’t know,” the blonde answered honestly, to exhausted to be stubborn,
“How about a bath baby, that may be easier?” she asked her gently,
“Okay, but can you take it with me?” Amanda asked softly not wanting to be apart from the brunette,
“Are you sure Manda?” the brunette asked gently, not wanting the blonde to feel any pressure about anything,
“Hmm, I wanna be close to you,” she murmured leaning into the brunette’s touch again,
“Of course, then sweetheart, whatever you need.” The brunette told her. Allowing herself to be lifted up, the brunette carried the blonde to the bathroom and sat her down on the counter as she ran the bath, putting the lavender essential oils, in it when Amanda made the soft request.
“Tired Liv,” the blonde said softly when the brunette turned around to face her, dropping her head on the tanned shoulder.
“I know baby, let’s take this bath and then we can go to bed.”
The blonde pulled away, allowing Benson to pick her up and place her in the tub, checking for a final time that Amanda still wanted her to join her before climbing in herself and settling behind the blonde letting her lean back into her. The blonde reached for the flannel and soap before thoroughly washing herself down,
“Gentle baby, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” the brunette told her softly, reaching out to stop the harsh scrubbing,
“I just wanna be clean Liv” the blonde admitted, her voice wavering slightly as tears threatened to fall again,
“I understand baby, but you need to be gentler, can I help?” the brunette asked gently, Rollins thought about it for a moment before nodding and passing the flannel to the brunette who added more soap and began to lovingly wash the blonde’s body. When she finished, she gave the blonde’s hip a loving tap and the blonde turned around in the water, her head coming to rest in the crook of the tanned neck,
“Come on baby, before we shrivel up” the brunette coxed gently, getting out of the tub, and helping the blonde do the same before wrapping them both up in large fluffy towels.
Once they were dressed in cosy pyjamas, the two settled down back in bed, Olivia passed the blonde the glass of water she had brought in earlier coaxing the blonde to drink it,
“Come on sweetheart it will make you feel better and then we can get some rest, I know your tired,” the brunette said running a gentle finger over the blonde’s cheek. Amanda sipped the water until the glass was half empty, before returning it to the nightstand and curling up against the brunette’s chest,
“I’m sorry,” the blonde apologised,
“Hey no,” the brunette moved so she could look into blue eyes, “Don’t apologise for that not ever, remember we only ever do what feels good okay,” she reminded her girlfriend gently but firmly, the blonde nodded and ducked her head, “I’m proud of you for telling me to stop,” the brunette followed up gently, this caused the blonde to look back up in surprise, “I know that was hard and possibly a little scary for you, I’m very proud that you listened to your body and told me that you couldn’t keep going.” The brunette finished giving the blonde a kind smile, which caused her to blush and duck her head for a second time.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Olivia asked gently, keeping her tone soft, to hopefully portray that there was no pressure to talk about what happened yet. The blonde thought for a moment before nodding slightly and taking a deep breathe, not moving from her safe position against her girlfriend’s chest,
“Um I guess I sort of zoned out, like it was feeling good, I was enjoying it and I guess I lost focus cause I didn’t realise you moved down and when I felt your t-teeth against my thigh I froze, I wasn’t here anymore, I was… I was there.” The blonde confessed anxiously, tightening her hold against the brunette,
“I’m sorry I scared you baby, do you think teeth might be a trigger for you?” the brunette asked gently wanting to know for the future, to hopefully avoid this happening again,
“Um, maybe just like on my thighs, especially my inner thighs, P-Patton he um bit my inner thigh,” the blonde confessed turning to hide her face further into Benson’s chest as a couple of tears fell,
“I’m so sorry that happened to you baby,” the brunette told her again, “I’ll make sure to avoid that in the future, anywhere else?” she asked gently,
“No um I recon everywhere else is fair game,” Amanda responded, her tone lighter now, sniffling the blonde unburied her face and looked into warm brown eyes, she felt safe here, loved here,
“I love you Liv,” she whispered softly, effectively ending the conversation for now, but wanting the brunette to know how much she loved and valued her,
“I love you to baby,” the brunette responded, “so much. Are you ready to get some sleep?”
Rollins nodded relaxing into Olivia’s hold and sighing gently as long fingers began to run through blonde hair. The soothing motion eventually caused her to fall asleep and the brunette followed not long behind her.