Chapter Text
Kell struggled, trying to free himself from Athos Dane’s grip but his fingers tightened around Kell’s throat, making breathing nearly impossible. Athos’ smile widened as Kell weakened in his grasp then he suddenly released Kell, letting the antari fall to the floor. Coughing, Kell tried to push himself up but the bone-encrusted marble floor started growing up his arms and legs, pinning him in place.
Looking up, he froze at what he saw before him; Astrid Dane, everything about her as white as her London except for the red that stained her hand, shoved wrist deep into Rhy’s chest. Rhy’s knees shook then failed as he collapsed to the floor, his still-beating heart clutched in Astrid’s fingers.
With a strangled gasp, Kell shot up, bed sheets tangled around him, soaked in sweat. It took him a full minute to realize where he was, back in his own bed, in his own London, the Dane twins dead and gone.
Slumping back on the pillows, eyes closed, Kell subconsciously ran a hand over his chest, over the place where the spell was seared into his muscle, his bone, his soul. Ghost echoes of the nightmare flickered along his body and he did his best to shove it deep down where he put everything else that bothered him but the sensations persisted. Frowning, Kell continued to rub at his chest, at the spot that bound him to his brother.
His eyes snapped open. Rhy.
Kell was out of bed before he had even finished the thought. How could he have not realized it sooner? The things he was feeling weren't left over from his nightmare but were being shared with him through the link he and Rhy had.
Pushing his way through the passage linking his room to Rhy’s, Kell paused at the Prince’s bedside, taking in his curled form. He lay huddled on his side, shaking as though caught in the middle of a blizzard and whimpering softly. Kell felt a deep pain at this sight and the knowledge that he was partially responsible for Rhy’s pain. He wondered if Rhy was dreaming about the Dane twins the way he had been.
Rhy whimpered again and Kell stepped forward, instinctively drawn toward him. Pulling back the covers, Kell slipped in beside Rhy, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling Rhy close. Rhy mumbled, relaxing into Kell’s embrace. “Kell?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Kell whispered.
“It’s okay,” Rhy said sleepily, eyelashes fluttering. “I was having a bad dream anyways.”
“I know. That’s why I came. I could feel it.”
“You could? I knew the spell was strong, but I didn’t realize it was so strong that we could feel each other’s emotions.”
“It’s not, but emotions can affect how our bodies feel and react. That I can sense.”
Nodding, Rhy shifted in Kell’s arms so that his brown eyes could meet Kell’s blue and black ones. Kell suddenly became aware of the fact that this was the first time they’d laid side by side in bed in years, since they were children, really. Not since Rhy had been kidnapped and Kell had slit his wrists to save him. After that, it had taken Kell months to be able to leave Rhy’s side, even for a moment, meaning they spent weeks sleeping in the same bed.
“How strong does a physical sensation have to be in order for the other to feel it?” Rhy asked.
“I’m not sure, exactly,” Kell said. “But as with any magic, I’m sure it’s something that would strengthen with practice.”
“Can you feel this?” Reaching up, Rhy stroked his own face.
Kell smirked slightly and said, “No.”
“What about this?” Rhy pressed his fingers into his cheeks, keeping his eyes focused on Kell.
There was the slightest of sensations but nothing strong enough that Kell could call it definite. “No.”
“How about–”
Reaching out, Kell caught Rhy’s fingers between his own. “Stop. Enough with you teasing me.”
“I’m not teasing you. I’m genuinely curious, I want to know how much of what I experience is shared with you. I want to know what moments are private and which ones are going to be broadcast directly to your body.”
Kell dropped Rhy’s hand. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“I understand now.” Looking away, Kell pursed his lips. He should have realized it sooner. Rhy was extremely sociable to say the least and it was more often than not that Rhy would return home from an event with some gorgeous girl or beautiful boy on his arm, someone to be unwrapped and played with in the privacy of Rhy’s bedroom then never seen on the palace grounds again. Of course he would want to return to that, to want to know how this new connection would affect his ability to woo potential bed partners.
“Don’t worry about me,” Kell said. “I want you to live your life as you would have if this hadn’t happened, if we weren’t connected. That was the entire point, so you could live. Don’t stop doing that on my behalf.” Rhy was awake and safe so Kell started to rise but Rhy grabbed him and pulled him back down.
“Don’t leave me,” Rhy whispered, a soft undertone of desperation lacing his words. Kell could feel Rhy’s heartbeat immediately spike at the possibility of Kell’s departure, not through their connection but from the pulse thrumming under Kell’s fingers.
“Okay,” he replied without thinking, mentally kicking himself. He knew that he should go back to his bed before he got himself in trouble but he had never been good at saying no to Rhy. No matter how bad of an idea something was, Rhy always managed to talk Kell into it with a twinkle of his amber eyes and a quirk of his perfect lips, and Kell was acutely aware of the fact that the Prince was nothing but trouble.
Rhy had broken and healed Kell’s heart everyday since he arrived at the palace when he was five. There was a lot Kell couldn’t remember about his past but he would never forget the day he was first brought here, the way he was dragged inside despite his kicking and screaming, the way he was made to stand in front of the King and Queen on shaking legs as they looked down at him, talking about him with the man who had brought him as though he were merchandise.
But, of course, that’s what he was. The man had brought him to be sold and the King and Queen were only interested in what he could provide them, how he could elevate them to a place of influence others did not have.
An argument of price broke out between the man and the King and, as soon as Kell knew they weren’t paying attention to him, he ran. He didn’t get far, not knowing where to go, instead crawling behind the first set of curtains he came across outside the chamber he had been in, curling up in a ball and immediately bursting into tears.
That was when he had heard a soft voice and felt a small body crawl behind the curtains and sit next to him.
“Why are you crying?” the boy had asked.
“I-I don’t know where I am,” Kell had whispered back. “I’m scared and alone and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.”
In the dark, the boy felt around until he found Kell’s hand and held it tight. “You don’t have to be scared,” he had said. “I’m here now.”
In that moment, Kell fell in love with Rhy and had only fallen deeper everyday since. The thing about loving Rhy, though, was that it was a double edged sword, one that would dig even deeper into Kell now that they were bound the way that they were. While it had previously been painful to watch Rhy flirt and play with others, now it was going to be nothing but pure torture.
“Are you okay? You look like you’re hurting,” Rhy said.
Kell hadn’t realized that he had been letting his emotions bleed through and quickly pulled a stony facade back to his features. “I’m fine.”
“You’re lying,” Rhy replied, firmly but not cruelly. He had always been able to read Kell in a way others hadn’t, which was how he had become the only person to know of the less-than-legal activities Kell had been partaking in until extremely recently. Activities that had almost led to Rhy’s death. If Kell hadn’t been stupid, if he had just followed orders like the good little antari he was supposed to be, then Rhy wouldn’t be forced to live this cursed life, his existence tied to Kell’s.
“There it is again,” said Rhy, reaching out and gently stroking Kell’s cheek with his thumb. “You’re right. I can feel it. Not the emotion, but the effects, the way it hurts you so much it becomes physical. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Kell tried to insist, but he knew his brother wouldn’t relent without an answer of some sort. “I just don’t want to be a burden.”
A dark look appeared on Rhy’s face. “You’re not a burden,” he insisted.
“I know,” Kell said quickly, knowing that Rhy got touchy when he did things like insinuate that they weren’t really family. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be an intrusion upon your life. Even in the most private, intimate moments, no matter how far apart we are, I’m going to be there.”
“Good,” said Rhy.
Kell blinked. “What?”
“Good,” he repeated. “I want you there, for everything that happens to me. I can see that you think that this is a curse, that you’ve done harm by binding us together, but I don’t feel that way. If I had to be bound to anyone for the rest of my life, there is no one I would want it to be with more than you, Kell. My brother. The person who has already stood by my side every single day. The only person who cares about me so much as to give up his life not once but twice just so I could keep mine.”
Though Kell knew that these words were supposed to be endearing, were supposed to make him feel better, every syllable cut him deeper as he thought about the fact that one day Rhy would get married, whether out of love or politics, and that Kell would have to stand in the shadows, watching silently. It wasn’t even happening yet and already it was so painful Kell could barely handle it.
“Kell! What is it?” Rhy asked as tears spilled over, cascading down Kell’s cheeks no matter how much he fought against them.
“I–I–” What? What could he say? That he was desperately, irrevocably in love with Rhy, so in love that it hurt? That he was jealous of someone who didn’t even exist yet? That in this moment he wanted to give Rhy his entire life so this pain would end and Rhy wouldn’t have to worry about having Kell chained to him like a horrid weight?
Suddenly, Rhy was kissing him. Kell froze in surprise, not deepening the kiss or pulling away, his mind both full and empty at the same time. Rhy pulled back, his cheeks wet with the residual of Kell’s tears.
“I wouldn’t be alive without you,” Rhy said. “And I’m not just talking about the spell. I mean the fact that you make my life vibrant, you make it worth living. Everyone who I meet only sees a Prince and they always say or do whatever they think will make me happy. Not you. You see me, you know me, the real me. I only feel like myself around you.” Rhy took a breath then said, “Kell. I love you.”
Kell stared at Rhy, uncomprehending. Rhy…loved him? Well, of course he did. They were brothers. Of course they shared familial love. But as Kell looked into Rhy’s eyes, he knew what Rhy really meant. This was more than the love they shared as brothers, diving so deep into their souls that it felt unfathomable. Love at first sight wasn’t a thing but the confidence and trust that had bloomed between them when their hands first met was something that could never be challenged.
He could see that Rhy was starting to get panicked by Kell’s continued silence so he did the one thing he knew would express his feelings; he kissed Rhy back. He didn’t know how to say what he was feeling so he put it into his actions, tightening his arms around Rhy and deepening their kiss. Rhy hummed with pleasure, wrapping his arms around Kell’s neck as Kell flicked his tongue along Rhy’s bottom lip. Finally, his thoughts had formed enough that he was able to break their kiss and say the one resounding thought in his mind; “I love you, too, Rhy. I always have and I always will. No matter what happens, I will always love you.”
Rhy smiled. “I know. There’s nothing I could have faith in more than your love for me.” He kissed Kell again, pressing a hand to Kell’s chest and feeling both their hearts quicken.
Kell was thrilled and terrified at the same time. This was everything he’d ever wanted, everything he’d ever dreamed about since he’d grown old enough to really know what kissing was. Yet this was also a dangerous game he was playing, juggling a fire that could destroy every aspect of his life if he dropped it.
But he would never drop Rhy. He would die before he let that happen.
Taking Rhy’s shirt in hand, Kell pulled it over Rhy’s head and tossed it on the floor, running his hands over the warm, smooth skin of Rhy’s chest. Rhy sighed and laid back. Kell took this as an invitation and kissed Rhy’s brown chest, making his way to a nipple and circling it with his tongue, loving the way it made Rhy groan in response. He continued to lick and suck at it until he was satisfied with its hardness before moving to the other.
He remembered Rhy asking about how intense a sensation had to be before the other felt it and started to wonder that as well. Since they had been bound, they had shared experiences–stubbed toes and burned fingers–but nothing as intimate or intense as this. Kell was being relatively gentle with Rhy at this point, his body responding only to what he himself was feeling, but how much more would he have to put in before he started to feel the effects of his love for Rhy in his own body? Curious, Kell picked a bare spot on Rhy’s chest and sucked at the skin, not hard enough to hurt but enough to leave a visible mark. Rhy gasped and Kell’s chest tingled but part of him felt that this was in response to the sounds Rhy was making so Kell found a fresh spot and this time he bit. Rhy’s moan rose and this time Kell definitely felt something, a nip at the place right above his heart, exactly where he and his brother were bound.
Rhy’s fingers appeared, tangling in his red hair and pulling him up until their lips met again. This time, Rhy pulled off Kell’s shirt, pressing their chests together so they could feel their hearts beating as one. Something about this was so lovely yet simultaneously so erotic, Kell’s heart and dick starting to swell together. He let himself melt into Rhy’s kisses, starting to move his body in time until he was gently grinding against Rhy in rhythm to their kisses. Rhy raked his fingers down Kell’s back and, from the way he shivered, Kell could tell that Rhy felt that, too.
“I’ve been thinking about this every day for I can’t even tell you how long,” Rhy murmured as Kell kissed his way along Rhy’s jaw.
“Oh yeah? Is that why you’ve wooed half the city? Because you wanted me so much?” Kell teased. He tried to keep kissing Rhy but his brother had his hands on his chest and was pushing him back, a serious look in his eye.
“I mean it, Kell. All those people…yes, they were fun, but they weren’t you. Why do you think I never let anyone come back, never saw someone more than once? Because I only ever wanted to spend my time with you.” They both knew that there was one person in Rhy’s past who had been an exception to that rule, but they didn’t talk about him.
Leaning forward, Kell pressed his lips to the crease between Rhy’s brows. “I also fully believe in your love for me,” was all he said before he kissed Rhy again.
They continued to kiss for a long time, Rhy finally falling asleep splayed across Kell’s chest, skin red from Rhy’s ravaging. Kell lay awake for a long while after, nose buried in Rhy’s hair, reveling in the feeling of having Rhy in his arms. For the first time in what felt like a very long time, Kell was starting to feel what he thought he could describe as happy.