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Everything has calmed down when they get back to the ship. Ed stays in the dinghy while Stede negotiates his return but it seems to be a quick and calm conversation. Ed hears the phrases “safe space” and “craft project” and something about “cleaning up the blood” and then Stede is climbing back down to the dinghy to give Ed a hand up. Ed is sore and tired enough that he takes it, levering himself to his feet in the boat with Stede's help and grimacing as he climbs up the ladder and back over the side of the Revenge.
“Hey guys,” Ed says quietly to the small group of crew on the deck. “Um. Thanks.”
“Get some rest,” Oluwande tells him. “Let's figure this out in the morning. Everyone's tired.”
Then most of the crew is going below to whatever new sleeping arrangement they've set up for themselves (Ed had prided himself as captain on being aware of the shipboard goings on, even during the worst of it, but he never had figured out exactly what the sleeping arrangements were or why they changed so often).
“G'night,” Frenchie says softly, giving Ed and Stede a lopsided smile. Ed smiles back, surprised.
Roach stays behind. He's giving Ed an assessing look. It makes Ed nervous after the day he's had.
“What?” Ed asks. Then on reflection he adds “Sorry about the sammie. I'm sure it was good.”
“Lucius ate it,” Roach says. “I'm not worried about that. You look like hell.”
Ed feels like hell. Like, truly, Ed feels absolutely awful. His head hurts and his arm hurts and his heart is … well, his heart is a little complicated - it certainly hurts less now but it still hurts.
“I'm fine,” Ed says.
Roach raises his eyebrows. “Your arm could probably use stitches now that we have the time. I figured we could do that and you could sleep in the galley. It's warm and I could poke my head in occasionally to make sure you don't die again.”
Ed feels rather than sees Stede tense next to him, as though the flinch has traveled through the air between them. It's this more than anything that has him agreeing. “Lead on,” he tells Roach.
Stede follows them, seemingly unwilling to be parted from Ed. Ed is secretly relieved.
Ed perches on the counter next to a bushel of onions and begins the process of removing his jacket and shirt.
“Don't get blood on my onions,” Roach says, moving them to the table and beginning to rummage in the cabinets for medical supplies. “Are you hungry?”
Ed sighs. “I'm alright. We had dinner with some friends of mine but then they burned their house down.”
“We had nothing to do with the fire,” Stede adds in a way that Ed feels is likely to create more suspicion rather than less.
“Sure, sure. Of course.” Luckily Roach appears to be only half listening. He's got his supplies out on the counter now and Ed is surprised by how fervently he wants this to be over. If only because it means he'll be able to curl up in a blanket and finally get warm and go to sleep.
“Gonna touch your shoulder now. Just my hand. You want some laudanum?”
Ed does. He really does. But the idea of being drugged and out of it on a ship full of people who tried to kill him 48 hours ago is nightmare fuel. He shakes his head.
“Ed…” Stede says.
“No. It's fine. I'm fine.” Leave me alone, Ed wants to say. And also please don't leave me alone.
Unexpectedly, Roach comes to Ed's rescue. “That's okay. Let me know if you change your mind or you want some overnight. Just enough to take the edge off.”
Ed nods, grateful for the out. “I'll let you know.”
Halfway though the stitches, Ed still hasn't changed his mind about the laudanum but he does want to hold Stede's hand and he's either brave enough or desperate enough to reach for it. Please don't leave me alone. Stede takes his hand and squeezes it twice. I'm here.
—
“Do you want the rest of the rhino horn?” Ed asks as Roach bandages his shoulder.
“I'm sorry?”
“I mean — not to get high. Or, well, unless you want to get high. That's fine too. But apparently it has medicinal uses?”
“Oh! Yeah, I'll l take that. Thank you.” Roach seems genuinely excited.
Ed finds himself smiling, happier and more relaxed than he's been in months. He's exhausted, slightly shocky, and shivering, but he feels relieved.
“Let's get you to bed,” Stede says gently. “Roach is gonna get you set up by the stove where it's warm. I'm going to get you some sleep pants and I'll be right back. Would you like a book?”
Ed does want a book. Tired as he is, he isn't sure he'll be able to sleep. But the idea of asking for one had seemed … ill advised given the fate of Stede's library. Of course Stede in all his Stede-i-ness would just… offer. Ed nods.
“I'll see what I can find!” Stede seems excited to have a task.
Ed let's himself drift while Stede goes on a book hunt and Roach arranges blankets and pillows by the stove. After Stede comes back with pajamas they both leave for a moment to let Ed change in private. He pulls on the soft sleep pants and curls up in the blanket nest with a sigh, finally feeling almost warm. “I'm all changed,” he calls.
“I couldn't find any novels,” Stede says apologetically. “But I did find this! A chart of the Carolina Coast!”
Ed laughs. “Sure, give it here. We can work on your chart reading skills. Or well… that is… I know you have your own cabin. I mean. Obviously.”
“Ed?” Stede asks gently. “Can I stay with you tonight? I'll give you your space if you want. But I'd rather stay.”
Ed's throat feels tight suddenly. He coughs. “Yeah. Okay. Yeah.”
When Ed was a child, other kids in his neighborhood sometimes had sleepovers. He'd been invited once or twice but he always felt a little awkward. And it went without saying that he couldn't bring other kids into his own home - not even for a night.
Now Ed is a 48 year old pirate captain. He'd broken Ned Low's record, forced his own crew to mutiny, been left for dead and banished and welcomed back again. And he’s lying in a nest of blankets with a friend giggling over a chart of the Carolina Coast.
He's warm and almost content. If only he weren't in quite so much pain. He's pretty sure he won't sleep at all without the laudanum. And the thought of it still scares him, it scares him a lot, but Stede is here so…
“Hey, Stede?” Ed interrupts before he can lose his nerve. “I think I might need that laudanum but I… pissed off a lot of people and I don't really want to…”
“Do you want me to stay?”
Ed nods, gritting his teeth.
“Of course I'll stay. I was going to stay anyway. No one is going to hurt you.”
Ed nods again. He doesn't trust himself to speak.
“Do you want me to go get Roach?”
Ed nods.
Ed is pretty sure Roach was sleeping but he's patience itself when he comes back to the galley. “I'm gonna give you the smallest dose that'll do anything, yeah?”
Ed nods, grateful, and takes the laudanum. Then he curls up in the blankets. Roach leaves and shuts the door behind him.
“Shall I read to you?” Stede asks. “Until you fall asleep?”
“Read what, Stede? We have a chart of the Carolina Coast.”
“Place names,” Stede says like it's obvious, tucking the blanket up to Ed's chin.
Ed laughs. “Go ahead,” he says and lets the sound of Stede's voice lull him to sleep.